Hi everyone.
I've been bouncing back and forth many things as I'm about to graduate secondary and I'm planning to head into post secondary. I have been hearing alot people say Industrial instrumentation and process control technician is the way to go.
I'm still thinking should I take it or not. My family kinda wants me to stay on the lower mainland near Vancouver so I have to also have to consider to work here too with this diploma if I were to enroll.
Before all of that though I want to make sure that I will complete the course successfully or my tuition money will go down the drain so I'm wondering if the program is hard or pretty straightforward.
Thanks for your time in helping a student.

Bump near urethra
Hello, this is a throwaway account. Around a month ago i (18F) noticed my urethra had a bump attached to it on the side that faces down (its not like a donut like urethral prolapse is but its just on one side), the bump is around 0.5 - 1cm big. Its squishy and it isnt painful at all. Its not red or itchy, barely bothers me at all. Im a virgin so STDS are out of the picture, there is absolutely no chance it could be genital warts or herpes. Other than that ive had no other health issues and there are also no other bumps in this area. Everything else is normal. What could this be?

So I’ve been on my weight loss journey for nearly a month now and it’s been going fine. But I’ve been missing junk food and getting what I call “mouth hungry” which isn’t real hungry but more of a craving thing. Anyways… after seeing different posts around I bought the ninja Creami. Holy smokes it’s like sorcery!! I’m waiting on my immersion blender to show up so I started with just tossing in a can of pineapple chunks with juice in the first pint and freezing it last night. It didn’t use up the whole can so the pint was max 320 calories (my scale isn’t here yet either, sorry) and once it blended up tonight it was white and creamy and reminded me of a Dole Whip from Disneyland. I’m so amazed!!! I’ve been following the dude on YouTube E4CM and am so excited to make high protein, low calorie ice creams. Does anyone on here have any suggestions for recipes?

I have this on going attraction with one of my colleague. It started as a simple crush when I first saw him at the office. I’m contented being single naman kasi I have this past trauma pa. But, he really got my attention.
It all started when palagi kami nag ka sabay ng out sa office. Weird kasi alam ko mas early ang shift niya so I ignored it. Then na halata ko every time he will pass my cubicle which is near the aisle he keeps on looking at me. To the point na halata na ng officemates ko siya. Weird diba? There were times that I caught him looking at me and guess what memsh bigla yuyoko siya and straight tingin sa floor. Haller, ang hirap hindi mag assume and major in overthinking ako 😶 The turning point of our encountered, when one time nag ka sabay kami sa lobby and hindi siya sumakay sa elevator? I looked at him and will asked him na nga if sasakay siya, but he pretended na hindi niya nakita and busy scrolling sa phone. I’m not really sure if he is infatuated sa akin or not that time, but the actions niya kasi. Lol Ayun muna nga don’t assume unless sinabi niya he likes you diba.
I found out this month that he has a girlfriend but LDR daw. Umiiwas na ako sa kanya kasi I respect their relationship. Also, I never want na ma involve as third party. I believe na meron karma and I don’t want to experience a bad karma. But holy fudge, I feel like he knows na umiiwas ako kaya siya naman ang gumagawa ng way. We are in a hybrid setup, so we are not always on site. There are times na nasa office siya and na shock ako. Alam ko dapat wfh lng siya. Inaalam ko na kasi ang schedule niya para maka iwas ako. I’m freaking sure that he knows that I like him. Ang hirap pag same dept and office environment kami. Many incidents pa ang nangyari b/w the two of us. We talked to each other na. But, I know where I stand at hindi ako maging kabit.
I just want to tell you bebe boy, ( sorry I call him that kasi he looks younger than his age) yes, i really like you, but I will never make a move on you. I don’t know what your intentions talaga, but let’s stop this chase na. Just be happy with the relationship that you have and respect your girlfriend pls. Let’s not complicate things pa. It’s really killing me na umiwas sayo, but it’s the right thing to do. I’m planning to resign na dn sa office soon for career growth. Well, to be exact I will go to abroad. Maybe I’ll find the one there :) I promise to myself that the next time I will see you at the office, I won’t feel anything for you na😉

I miss my mom tonight. That's pretty rare these days. I don't think about her much anymore, except occassionally when a memory is triggered, and the emotional response is usually fear and anger. If my thoughts do wander in her direction, the only thing I typically feel is a vague sort of... echo. But tonight I'm sad. It's almost my birthday. I'm going to be 35. I haven't spoken to her in nearly six years. I wonder if she even thinks about my birthday, ever remembers my birth. Does she miss me? Does she ever regret how she treated me? Does she wish she had done better? Does she feel anything except anger and resentment for me? Probably not. If I had to guess, she probably makes herself busy around my birthday so she doesn't think about me at all. I wonder if my name is banned in their house, like my aunt’s was all those years. Did she take down pictures of me? I'm just really sad about it tonight. I don't regret cutting her out- I feel very firmly that I did everything I could to try to salvage our relationship. And I accepted the mother I had a long time ago. I'm thinking about that poem, about learning to lose. Bits and pieces of it. Lose something every day. The art of losing isn't hard to master. Even the loss of you cannot spell disaster.
I miss her sometimes. That's really fucking hard to admit. But there are pieces of her I miss. Her laughter. The way she smelled at night, after showering, in her flannel nightgown, when she would listen to me read. When she would play her old records and dance with us. The good days I clung to, sprinkled amongst the violence that defined my childhood.
Mostly I miss her notes. She used to leave them for me in my lunchbox, or tucked into a folder, or I'd find one on my pillow after school. I don't ever remember her writing me something cruel. Everything she wrote... it made me feel loved in a way she never did in person. I kept a few of them. They're in the bin with my journals. I saw them when I was reading through my journals, but I didn't reread her notes. I never do. It's impossible to know whether anything she wrote was genuine, whether she ever really loved me, whether she can feel love at all.
I was thinking about her while I was tucking in my daughters tonight. I was holding them, feeling their warmth, smelling their scents, listening to their voices as we sang and they chattered. I cannot even fathom choosing not to have them in my life. The loss would be unbearable. Since I felt them growing inside me, since the first time I saw them and smelled them and felt them, my love for them is a part of me, an internal organ it would kill me to have carved out.
How can a mother not love her daughter. It's so easy to let that anger bloom. It's the sadness, the missing you, the grief that reminds me that I love you, that is so unbearable. The original unrequited love of my life. You started teaching me how to lose from the start. You'd think I'd have it mastered by now. If I could carve out the part of me that loves you I would. I'd leave that organ bleeding out to die and rot. And if it killed me along with it, it might be worth it. For one moment free. To finally lose you.

For me, I always have a saying "the third toke is always easier than the second" because in my experience this is usually the case. The 2nd toke always hits me hard, but the 3rd is usually easy and doesn't have nearly the same impact.
Do you have any other personal truisms or rules you adhere to when smoking?

First, Previous

Jethriss

Jethriss giggled and tried to line the pitcher up with her mug up for a refill, but was having a hard time. She'd put down more than her fair share of the local ale, which Meatball had dubbed "Good" for some reason, even though it was only "okay", and she was struggling a little bit. Actually, she was drunk off her ass. "The boys", as she thought of them, had spent days hiding in the woods, then spent all of yesterday assaulting and then securing and scouring the last stronghold of the Grekthitch Cartel. Then they spent most of today asleep, and now they were all at the bar partying as hard as they possibly could to blow off the steam. Rosco, sitting to her right in the booth against the back wall, noticed her struggle and took the pitcher away and filled her mug all the way up to the top.
"You ass!" she giggled.
He grinned "I expect you to work too!"
"Every time that ship flies in atmosphere I end up with work! It's a spaceship, not an aircraft."
"Oh, boo hoo!"
Jethriss worked her beak into the mug and slurped and spilled enough beer out to safely pick it up, and listened to Meatball loudly telling about the time they'd raided some cartel growing operation and how Wiggles had ended up literally biting a skink's head off because he couldn't reload fast enough, and not realizing he'd done it unti the head fell out of his mouth and landed on his feet. When the laughter subsided Wiggles added that he'd had to ride back to their compound in the cargo bed of a truck, in the rain, because he'd ended up so dirty, then recounted a fight in this very bar where Meatball had gently slapped an awrok unconscious, and then made up a hilarious and ludicrous story about how afterward Meatball had received vigorous sexual gratification from the same awrok. Meatball had just grinned and explained that he'd only done so out of desperation, since Wiggles had never been a satisfying lover in the first place. There were more drunken guffaws, then Gratorf and Attrull recounted the time they'd had to track down and apprehend a peasant admirer who had managed to infiltrate the harem of their previous employer, the Lady Elissa of House Ganthul. The mention of her name caused much jeering, the bitch had nearly gotten the boys killed, but the story was hilarious. Attrull had to go undercover as a new concubine to find the guy, and had nearly been roped into fucking his boss (who of course, was too self-centered to recognize a member of her own security detail), and had ended up causing a near stamped right in her pleasure chamber when he tased the imposter before he could violate the Lady.
They drank and smoked, told stories and laughed. Skeethrow told about how he'd joined Rosco's group. Years ago, not long after Jethriss had joined Rosco, he'd been in a pirate crew and they'd booked passage on a bulk freighter, intending to hijack it. Well, things kicked off and they were making a move to secure engineering, and they got into a firefight with what they thought was security. Turns out, it was another group of pirates that Rosco had fallen in with who were also planning to hijack the ship! By the time both sides realized what was going on, it was just Skeethrow and two other members of his team left, and while everyone was reloading he heard this human yell out "Hey! You fellas want a job? We just had a few positions open up!"
This was followed by cheers and a toast to Rosco, who laughed, then Rex told a story about the time they'd been janissaries for the Gunchow Combine, and one of the nobles who had singled their regiment out for a suicide mission had mysteriously found himself hospitalized with severe food poising and missed a key planning meeting because someone (he said, pointing his mug at Rosco) had managed to somehow contaminate his food with fecal matter.
The table roared with laughter. Normally when the Gallowglasses got this rambunctious the bar tended to empty out a little, not that the owner minded given that they drank more than enough to compensate, but it stayed busy tonight. Jethriss didn't really pay much heed to the group of skinks that had walked in and stayed by the bar up front, other than the fact that Rosco seemed to be paying more than passing attention to them.
She opened her beak to tell the story about the time Rex had to up act like a Orrick chieftan's pet in order to steal his treasure horde, but it turned into a surprised squawk when Rosco put his hand on top of her head and harshly jammed her under the table.
The sound of gunfire and bullet impacts filled the air. Some of the impacts sounded... wet.
The table flipped as the Gallowglasses jumped up and... she didn't know what they were doing. She wasn't much use in interpersonal violence, she was no coward, she was just a pilot. She stayed on the floor, curled up in a ball, as the seconds dragged by and the shooting subsided. She remembered she had a concealed pistol and drew it, before looking around the edge of the table.
Meatball and Thriktikt had picked up rifles from somewhere and were shooting out of a nearby window into the street, Charge was in the doorway firing a pistol while his left arm dangled, damaged.
Wiggles was crawling toward the door, dragging a leg that bent the wrong way behind him, and added his own pistol fire once he got there.
Keelath was sitting against a wall, applying a tourniquet to his leg. He was covered in blood.
Trilth and Trakkow were holding a third skink down and doing... something first aid related while he thrashed and screamed.
Rex was yelling into his radio. Jethriss couldn't understand his words.
Gratorf was lying on his back, bulging eyes staring at the ceiling. She ran over to him and rolled him over to bandage the wound that had produced a small puddle of blood under his head, and his scrambled brains fell out as his skull fell apart. She turned her head and vomited.
She saw a skink bandaging a nasty scalp wound on Frank Tippery, and Robert Johnson walking between fallen skinks, shooting some of them in the head.
Rosco was on his knees, his right forearm broken open halfway down from the elbow, chewed meat and jagged bone poking out and leaking blood, right hand flopping as he tried to use it to put a meatpatch on Skeethrow's chest. He was yelling, telling Skeethrow not to go anywhere. Skeethrow's face and head were covered in the blood that poured and sprayed from his mouth with every cough, ragged chunks of pink mixed in with the red. She pulled a tourniquet out of her cargo pocket and walked over in a daze. Skeethrow spasmed again and went still, she hadn't noticed his strained gurgling breath against the background din until it stopped. Rosco howled and shoved a broken stool under Skeethrow's feet, and tried to start chest compressions but his broken arm confounded him. He shoved Jethriss away when she tried to slip the tourniquet over his arm, until eventually Rex got done on the radio and between the two of them got the thing on and the old rooster's bleeding stopped.
The gunfire in the bar had stopped, but elsewhere in the city, fighting was still raging.

Before I get asked “Why are you asking a bunch of internet strangers for advice?” I’m her uncle who has had custody for the past almost 3 years. If this post isn’t okay, I’ll delete it. Using a throwaway for her privacy.
Yesterday I got a call from my niece Alexis’ phone but it wasn’t her. It was a shift supervisor at the restaurant that her friends had taken her for her birthday. I was told that two of the girls had left and Lex was left but didn’t have any money. I didn’t know if they were going to call the cops so I told her I was coming to pay. When I got there Lex was sitting in a booth with an uneaten birthday dessert.
The look on her face broke my heart. The hot aid that her two friends told her they were going to get Lex’s gifts from the car & would be back. 30 minutes went by & the host walked through the parking lot 3 times to look for them before telling her supervisor. Instead of grilling Lex infront of everyone I paid+tipped & we left.
In the car I asked her if she knew before they ordered that her friends weren’t going to pay because it could be considered stealing. I told her the meal I just paid for was $80 (my gas money) so she was going to have to pay me some of it out of her savings or get her friends to repay her. She gets a notification that she was tagged in a snapchat by one of the girls about how they just dined & dashed & got a free meal. She starts crying saying “no they aren’t going to pay you or me back!”.
We get home & I ask her if she is comfortable with me reading the messages between her & the girls so I could help figure out what is going on. It took about an hour & I’m genuinely speechless. Lex is a freshman & these girls are juniors. They became “friends” in gym class in Jan. The first time they hung out outside of school was to get smoothies. Lex offered to pay for them (her love language is acts of service & gift giving even though she is young) & it snowballed from there.
These girls would ask her for gas money but tell her they didn’t have time to take her home from school,they would give her the wrong parking lot to be picked up in, or they told her she was taking too long even though she would literally be running to meet up. School lunch is free but there is a place where you can buy fountain pop. icecream, snacks, ect. Nearly everyday they would ask her to get them something & they would pay her back once they got their allowance.
They went shopping one day & Lex bought them all matching shirts to wear on a certain day & they showed up wearing different matching shirts & told her she just forgot which day they were doing it. Gaslighting. Manipulative. PETTY for no reason.
A few days ago Lex told them she needed her $ because the field trip she was saving for was this coming Tuesday. They told her they would bring the $ when they went out to eat because they would be getting their allowance on Thursday (yesterday).
I asked Lex why she was spending so much $ on them she said “this was my first time having friends I thought this is what you do”. These girls are NOT friends. How did she not realize they were just using her? I just don’t know why she would give all her money away. The field trip coming up is something she has been so excited about. It’ll be the first “road trip” she has ever been on. First time on a charter bus. They will be stopping for breakfast, lunch, & dinner.
She has spent hours looking up where they are going to make sure each restaurant has her “safe foods”. It's an elective field trip to two museums & a huge mall with her fine arts class. For xmas & her birthday all she wanted was $, which I gave her. But it wasn’t alot & I really wanted her to have fun so every time it snowed this winter we shoveled driveways for $20 & she got to keep it all.
Now it's all gone & I’m so pissed off that she just blew it. I can’t just give her more. I’m paycheck to paycheck right now. I don’t get a dime from my sister or the state because I haven’t tried for legal custody but since my sister has been in active addiction for years this is something I’m looking into. I told her I could maybe scrounge up $25 for her to take but now she isn’t going to go because “it won’t be fun”.
I just don't understand why she would pay people to be her friends. I asked her what she was going to say or do when she sees them in class/lunch she told me “go back to being alone & go back to eating in the library”. I don't know why she struggles to have friends. I’m more mad at her “friends” but also her.
Has anyone else’s kid done something like this? Do they struggle to make friends? Have they changed themselves to “fit in”? Any advice is welcome.
TL:DR; My niece was giving money to “friends” under the impression that this is what “friends” do & that she would be paid back. She didn’t want her “friends” to run out of gas or not have treats to eat at lunch. Lex spent over $200 to have “friends” for three months.

I apologize in advance for this being so long. A TL;DR is at the end. If this kind of post is not allowed, I apologize as well.
I was wondering if anybody had any advice regarding whether it is worth seeking out a diagnosis, as I think that I might potentially have ADHD. However, at the same time, I don't really know if I do. I could just be lazy. I'm going to list some examples of things that I do that maybe could be caused by ADHD, and if anybody has insight that would be incredibly helpful. I am a minor so I would need to talk to or ask my parents about getting a diagnosis, but they are kinda judgy and are sort of the type of people that believe ADHD is just a label for problem kids and not something that could ever possibly impact their child.
I do tend to lose/misplace things reasonably often, though not super often.
I do tend to lose my train of thought more than I feel I should.
When I was younger, I apparently made disruptive noises in class and the teacher told my parent that they considered sending me to the principal's office (they didn't actually though). However, I got a new glasses prescription and apparently that caused me to stop being disruptive? However, in that same grade the school admin also created a special plan for what to do with me when I finished all my work early because I am "gifted" (gifted is in quotes because I feel like half the people I know are designated "gifted") and would finish all my work in half the time. So maybe it wasn't ADHD but just a bored gifted kid acting out.
I used to interrupt people quite a bit when they were talking. I have been working on not interrupting people over the past few months and think I have made very significant improvements and don't really interrupt people anymore. If this is something I have been able to mostly resolve myself, then maybe I don't really have ADHD?
I have mentioned my concerns somewhat to my mom in the past (in passing, I didn't want to deal with her judgement if I actually said that I thought I might have ADHD) and she expressed the sentiment that "all smart people are like that -- our brains just can't work at such high levels all the time" (I'm paraphrasing) and expressed the sentiment that she somewhat felt the same way. I know ADHD runs in families, so either we're both normal, or maybe we both have ADHD and my never-diagnosed mom is now dismissing me because she thinks it's normal?
***The biggest problem I have is a complete and utter inability to force myself to sit down and work most of the time, i.e. do homework or study. I used to LOVE school as a younger kid but have always hated homework. I had very little homework in elementary school, so this was never a problem, but since middle school I have been steadily getting more homework. Something that happened today is that I came home with a plan to get a ton of homework done (I created a whole list of what assignments I was going to do when this weekend -- I often create lists of what I need to do and when I should do it) and instead I wasted the last 9 hours doing absolutely, positively nothing productive. I could have just gotten 9 hours of homework done, and I didn't. I feel extremely guilty. The same thing happened over spring break. I had grand plans to be super productive, and I got next to nothing done despite having ample time and having made a plan. I just didn't follow the plan. And I feel guilty. I know one of the common signs of ADHD is bad grades, but my grades are actually still great. I have straight A's, quite a few AP classes, and am ranked near the top of my class. I got 99th percentile scores on both the ACT and SAT without really trying (I did a couple free online practice tests, but that was it). The problem is that I don't have very much time for extracurriculars or fun things because I waste time on random unproductive things I don't even care about, making it so that my little remaining time has to be spent on homework, and I don't have much time to do fun things. This sort of procrastination has been a problem for at least the past 3 or 4 years (I know ADHD is present from birth, but it's possible I just didn't have enough responsibilities/things going on for it to be problematic before then -- if ADHD is even what I have), and I feel like I've wasted my high school experience because of it. HOWEVER, (barring distracting people talking while I'm trying to focus, etc.) I tend to have to trouble focusing in class (unless it's boring, but most people zone out a little when it's boring). If I can focus in class but not at home maybe I am just lazy. Or maybe the pressure to appear like a good student to my teachers (gotta love seeking external validation) outweighs the ADHD? A lot of my teachers think I'm the bee's knees (giftedness outweighs the lack of studying) and I don't want to disappoint them. Anyways, I hate how much time I waste and the guilt I feel for knowing I'm capable of more, but just being unable to force myself to do anything about it.
I generally work far better with strict time limits, i.e. the test proctor says we have 60 mins to complete the section and I know that I actually only have 60 mins. Saying "I will finish this worksheet in the next 30 minutes" does me no good.
Sometimes I sit on chairs weird. Like, I'll sit criss-cross apple sauce on chairs.
I am largely unable to filter out external noise/other people talking, making people talking while I'm trying to work extremely distracting. I also don't like complete silence.
I've gone though some phases of being obsessed with double-checking/making sure all my assignments are perfect. I don't know if this is an ADHD thing or if it's a result of being a gifted kid that teachers expect lots from. I feel like ADHD generally (?) results in more sloppiness and mistakes, so IDK. I feel like my "giftedness" and related factors might mask/modify a lot of traditional ADHD symptoms.
Once when I was pretty little I saved a cookie all day because I wanted to eat it at the beach when we got to the beach. I feel like this is contrary to ADHD's supposed lack of impulse control. But maybe early maturity due to giftedness outweighed the ADHD?
TL;DR: Read the paragraph marked ***

I recently got a new foster dog who I was told was good with other dogs. She seems to be fine if she’s on a leash with me, even if I have one of my dogs with me. However, she will bark and growl at my dogs if they come near her when she’s not on a leash. My dogs are also reactive so this can cause an issue. She is super calm and sweet otherwise and this seems to be done mostly out of fear. She is a lot smaller than my dogs. Is there any hope for me socializing them all together? Could I use a muzzle? Or should I just keep them separate?

Currently as I’m writing this, I’ve had very severe symptoms which interfere with my day-to-day life. My symptoms have been on-going now for several months and have not improved at all. Oddly enough, I had symptoms appear at the end of October and then go away after a couple of weeks that match what I’m currently experiencing. Prior to experiencing my symptoms in October, I’ve had a number of other symptoms appear that I think are related, but I can’t verify if they are or not.
Cognitive Issues
Currently the symptom I’m experiencing everyday is a cognitive disorder. It’s hard to explain exactly, but it feels as if I haven’t slept for a week or that I'm buzzed. The symptoms are typically worse in the morning and night. If I’m working in the middle of the day I don’t experience this issue (as much). The symptom also gets worse if I do any sort of physical activity like walking my dog, hiking, or mountain biking. That being said, I do sometimes notice I feel better after doing physical activity. Sometimes the cognitive issue is also paired with odd head sensations like head pressure that I notice around my ears and the back of my head. Sometimes I’ll also have a tingling feeling that happens on the sides of my head near my ears. In addition to the tingling sometimes I’ll have an odd aching sensation on the top of my head near the vertex (the coronal suture) and back of my head near where the occipital bone and parietal bone meet. The aching sensation almost feels like my skull is about to split open. I’ve also experience increased head pressure and a pulsing sensation on my head sometimes when my cognitive issues are at their worst. Less commonly, I’ll also have issues with vertigo and balance. Specifically, if I’m walking I’ll feel like my balance is off and I’ll lean to one side- usually my left side. I’ve had on-going issues with tinnitus as well. It’s not persistent, but it seems to happen most often at night. I experience it almost everyday. Sometimes I'll lose my hearing temporarily as well and it'll come back after about a minute. Lastly, my left ear will sometimes feel clogged and nothing I do seems to relieve the pressure. My cognitive issues also seem to be much worse after taking a hot shower. Specifically I’ll have increased head pressure and have an increased jet lag/hangover feeling.
Chest Pain
The second most common issue that I’ve experienced is chest pain. The chest pain I have manifests in different ways, but usually it’s an aching sensation that I notice on my clavicle head and extends to the sternocostal head slightly and it occurs on both sides of my chest. Sometimes the pain is also a burning sensation. I’ve also had pain that occurs in my sternum that’s a sharp pain. Most often these pains occur at night or in the evening.
Heart
My heart related issues seem to happen less often, but have started becoming more frequent as of late. The most common issues that I experience is heart palpations. Commonly it manifests with either a racing heart, the feeling I skipped a beat, or a fluttering feeling. I experience these symptoms most often at night and especially while I’m sleeping. I’ve had a few incidents where I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing. I wear an Apple Watch SE most of the time now since my symptoms started and I’ve noticed my pulse is as high as 96 when I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing. I don’t have nightmares- I can’t honestly the last time I remember having a nightmare in fact. My pulse has recently been pretty high when I'm sleeping as well. Usually it's between 40 - 50, but recently it's been between 50 - 70.
Another issue I used to have, but has sense improved greatly since I cut down dramatically on caffeine and stopped eating late at night is heart burn.
Rashes
Another odd symptom that I’ve started having is red rashes that manifest on my chest, stomach, arms, or legs. The rashes are usually a solid red color or are spotty and sometimes cover a large area or a very small specific area. I’ve had a very large chest rash that covered the entirety of my chest and other times I’ve had small rashes on my legs that look like a small line.
Eyes
Another very common issue for me is bloodshot eyes. I will usually wake up in the morning with my eyes completely bloodshot. The only thing that seems to relieve it is eye drops which I use at most once a day. I will strangely also sometime have very red and visible veins that extend from my pupil to the tear duck. Near my pupil I’ll have a spot that can be either very red or slightly pink. I usually know I’ve having this issue because my eye will burn and begin to water. Sometimes I wake up with this issue and other times it will come and go throughout the day. I usually notice it during the middle of the day while I’m working on my computer.
Veins
I really don’t know if this is a cause for concern or not or if it’s even related, but I’ve noticed my veins on my arms and hands are more visible than they've ever been. They’re a very deep blue color and they’re most pronounced in the morning, after I take a shower, or do any sort of physical activity.
Muscle Mass/Weight Loss
I’ve noticed that since of February last year to today, I’ve lost quite a bit of weight. Last February I weighed approximately 138 and now I weigh about 130. I haven’t had any significant changes in my diet other than not eating late at night. I attribute most of my weight loss to muscle loss which I notice physically because I’m not able to lift as much weight as I use to be able to. I use to take creatine monohydrate regularly which I know will increase muscle mass and weight so I’m sure this is part of the reason I’m losing weight, however, even after not taking creatine for several months I’ve still struggled to keep on weight and muscle mass. Since my symptoms began I’ve been diligently tracking my diet and on average I eat approximately 2,400 - 3,000 calories per day.
Muscle Twitching
This is a symptom I’ve had for at least a year now. Typically I’ll notice it in my arm near the extensor carpi radials longus. What will happen is an uncontrollable twitching sensation that will be visible if I happen to look at it. This happens on both arms around the same area. I’ll also have muscle twitching as well in my ankles sometimes, but it’s not very frequent. I've had it in my face as well on my eyes and lips. Occasionally I’ll also have restless legs when I’m sleeping, but this does not happen often.
Uncontrollable Teeth Chattering
One strange event that I had before was while I was sitting on the couch. I was feeling otherwise normal, but my teeth began to chatter uncontrollably for no apparent reason. I didn't feel cold either.
Hands
An issue that I’ve had for many years now is cold hands. Sometimes they’re purplish in color, very pale or very red. My hands will become cold for no apparent reason. They’re not cold 24/7 but at least several hours of the day. A specific problem that I have with my left-hand is that it will often be weak, specifically it’s difficult to pick things up with my left hand. Also when I type on my computer I’ll frequently have pain in my wrist associated with it. My pinky and ring finger also sometimes go numb especially if I bend my arm for a long period of time.
Arms
As I mentioned above, I frequently will have muscle twitching in my arms. Another thing I’ve noticed is that while I’ve had my symptoms, I’ve had a few nights where I’ll wake up and my arm is totally numb. Lately for the last few weeks my left arm has felt heavy and perhaps slightly numb. It seems to happen on the outward facing side of my arm specifically.
Face
An on-going issue that I’ve had for years is facial flushing. It seems to have gotten worse since my symptoms began. It feels like I have a fever, despite taking my temperature and not having one. I’ll typically notice the flushing mostly on my nose and it will extend to my cheeks. Sometimes when I get facial flushing I’ll have congestion as well. I noticed I’ll frequently have dark circles under my eyes as well. I’ve had this issue for quite a while now, but it’s become even more pronounced lately.
Feet
My feet are also frequently cold. I’ve noticed my toes often are purple. My big toe on my right foot also has dry skin. This has been an on-going issue for years. Recently my left heel went completely numb. I’ve since gotten feeling back but it lasted for a few days.
Ankles
I’ll frequently have heaviness in my ankles like they’re swelling, but they don’t appear to be visibly swollen at all. It’s been an on and off experience that can sometimes last for days at a time. One night my left ankle felt extremely swollen and painful. The veins in my legs were pulsating as well.
Thighs
I haven’t had much thigh pain, but occasionally I’ll get the same muscle twitching in my thigh or aching pain in my quadricep or my abductors.
Privates
This is one of the strangest symptoms I’ve had. Sometimes I’ll have issues where I’ll have pressure near my prostate (I think). It makes me feel like I need to urinate even though I don’t have to. Also have I finish urinating sometimes I’ll have a pain in my privates like I just passed a kidney stone which I definitely don't have.
Stomach
When I started having my symptoms I would typically have pain in areas like left flank above my left hip. It was either an aching pain or a sharp pain. I haven’t had that pain recently. Another pain that I’ve had frequently (maybe a few days per week) is located on my top left abdominal muscle.
Back
I’ve had a dull aching pain in my upper back for quite some time that I attributed to my sedentary lifestyle, but lately it’s gotten a lot worse to the point where it’s very painful. It’s still an aching pain but it’s much more severe. It's since gotten better.
Ribs
I don’t usually have rib pain, but when I do it’s an aching pain that’s tender to the touch and lasts a few days.
Breathing
I haven’t had any issues feeling out of breath at all even when I had Covid.
Nausea
Since December I’ve had nausea maybe 5 or 6 times total and I didn’t start having symptoms of it until January. It seems like it’s gotten more frequently lately. I haven’t vomited, but I have the feeling like I might.
Bad habits
I had a bad habit of drinking a lot of caffeine per day. For at least a couple of years I think it was higher than 600mgs per day. I cut down to 600mgs per day prior to having my symptoms, but I’ve slowly gotten down to having 100mgs of caffeine a day or none at all. I also used to eat at night shortly before going to bed which gave me heart burn and caused me to have sleep issues. I also used to drink lots of diet drinks like diet sodas. I’ve since almost entirely cut out aspartame from my diet except I might have a diet soda a couple times per month. I think I also had a lot of sodium in my diet from the vegetarian meat substitutes and canned foods I was eating. I also drank a lot of water per day. Probably at least a gallon.
Past events
In addition to the other strange past events I’ve had like uncontrollable teeth chattering. I’ve had a few other strange symptoms that have come and go. One such event I had was in July or September while I was mountain biking. I was biking up a hill but I didn’t feel like I was pushing my self exceptionally hard. When I got up to the top of the hill I got very lightheaded and had the same jet lag/hangover feeling I’m experiencing currently. The same happened in November shortly after I got over my symptoms in October. I had the same lightheaded feeling and cold sweats I experienced before while mountain biking. Also a few months back I had the same experience but while walking on the treadmill. I began having sudden cold sweats without explanation, but I didn’t feel light headed at all. Another time I was taking my dog
Sleep
I’ve mentioned that I’ll frequently wake up with my heart racing, but I also sometimes wake up suddenly without any explanation. Sometimes I’ll wake up because my back is in pain and I have to transition to my side or vice-versa. I’ve tried both firmer and softer mattresses and neither seem to make a difference.
Supplements
Melatonin at night to help with sleep
Cannabis sleep capsules
Gingko biloba to help with cognitive issues
Creatine (cut out since symptoms began)
Pre-workouts like amino energy or L-Arginine (stopped taking these when my symptoms began)
Energy drinks like Reign, Alani Nu, and Ghost that have 300mgs of caffeine and high B vitamins and taurine
Covid
I had Covid in mid-November that I tested negative for on Black Friday. It wasn’t severe- mostly cold like symptoms with a very bad headache and head pressure. I thin Covid probably contributed to my current condition, but I’m not sure if it’s the cause of my issues considering my major symptoms began before I got Covid in October.
​
Tests Done:
UTI - negative
PSA - waiting on test
Urinalysis - normal
CBC - normal
JAK2 - negative
EPO - normal
CRP - near 0
Sedimentation rate- near 0 / 2 march
Creatinine - low 7.3
High co2 in metabolic tests
NT pro BNP - 26
Troponin - 5
Lipase - normal
Ferritin - normal
Iron - normal
Folate - normal
Cortisol - normal
T4 - normal
Free T4 - normal
T3 Uptake - normal
Free T3 - normal
Creatine Kinase - normal
TSH- high in October but tested twice and was normal high again in March
Immuglobulin - normal
A1C - normal
Lyme - negative
Kidney stones - negative
CT scan on head - normal
Whole body MRI - normal except for a minor bulging disc in my lower spine
HIV - negative
ANA - negative
Sleep apnea- negative
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel - normal except slightly low creatinine, slightly high co2, and high albumin on very test
Liver panel - normal except high albumin and low globulin sometimes. High a/g ratio- 3.5
EKG- low resting pulse rate (53 - 56) and borderline abnormal T-wave. Last test I did I had a left axis deviation (-32 degrees).
Micronutrient test - borderline low vitamin D, B12 ok, high selenium, high zinc, high magnesium

Hi, I'm in Hanoi for a week an hoping to find a music shop thatnwill rent me an acoustic guitar for a few days. I've been on the road for a while and really miss playing! I'm staying near Thong Nhat park. Grateful for any ideas!

I recently got a new foster dog who I was told was good with other dogs. She seems to be fine if she’s on a leash with me, even if I have one of my dogs with me. However, she will bark and growl at my dogs if they come near her when she’s not on a leash. My dogs are also reactive so this can cause an issue. She is super calm and sweet otherwise and this seems to be done mostly out of fear. She is a lot smaller than my dogs. Is there any hope for me socializing them all together? Could I use a muzzle? Or should I just keep them separate?

I (23 f) have an aunt (let’s call her Sasha) who is only a year older than me. We have always been really close in proximity, dance class together, playing the same sports, a grade apart in the same school, etc. While we were always near each other, we spent most of our lives arguing, and we weren’t really friends until we had both graduated from highschool. When we were younger, it felt like a competition. Who is the better dancer, the better field hockey player, or who does better in school, who is prettier. Because of this, we had some tension between us. I grew up with anxiety, introverted, and in a hostile household due to my ex stepfather (this matters later). Sasha grew up with an older father (Sasha and my mom have different moms). My grandpa was tired and old, and thus Sasha didn’t have much discipline growing up. She was spoiled, she was never told no, she never faced consequences. She was always in trouble in school for being disrespectful to teachers, walking out of school in the middle of the day, skipping class, and fighting other girls over the smallest things, and never being punished at home. Sasha was also very outgoing and very pretty. I am by no means ugly, but I am definitely more the type to keep to myself, definitely a “weirder” kid. Sasha was a bully to me on and off in my life. At younger ages, if I had a friend who she wanted to be closer to her than me, she would steal them, and make those friends chose between her (popular, free to do whatever if they came to her house) or me (strict household, not allowed to have friends over much, not allowed to go many places). The choice was easy for most people. In one instance, my other aunt (Sasha’s sister) had given me a shirt of hers, I wore it to school and Sasha told everyone I stole that shirt from Sasha. When I confronted her, trying to set the record straight, she called me a “curly headed, clothes stealing freak” on social media. Years later, when Sasha and I were actually on a getting along streak, I had a boyfriend who treated me not awesome but it was my first real boyfriend. Sasha also had a boyfriend, and they were very toxic to each other. One night, her bofriend pissed her off, so she met up with my boyfriend and had sex with him. I dropped him immediately, but I forgave her in a short week, because unfortunately I always wanted validation from Sasha. Another time, I had a flare up of my autoimmune disease that makes me have yucky side effects, such as pooping blood, vomiting nonstop, those embarassing things. She told a boy I was interested in those very personal details about what was happening when I was out of school for a few days. More stuff has happened between us, but on my dads grave I had never maliciously tried to embarass Sasha or make her life bad in any way. I wanted her approval. I wanted Sasha to like me. After highschool, I really bloomed. I stayed in good shape, even though I was no longer playing school sanctioned sports. I went to college. I got a job that pays me well. I drive a nice, but not flashy, vehicle. I am in a healthy relationship with a fantastic man. I overall just gained more confidence in myself. Sasha on the other hand, has been in several abusive/ toxic relationship, where is is toxic and abusive as well (not just the victim). She can’t keep friends for more than a few months at a time, she has a steady stable job, but not one she can’t expand or grow in (nothing wrong with that, just not as much potential as my job). Ever since I began to “boss up” Sasha has apologized for the things she’s done to me. She had grown very emotionally dependent on me, which actually made me happy, after all, I always wanted Sasha to like me. Sasha and I have had our differences in the last five years, but not the bullying that used to occur at all, and nothing we couldn’t talk out. But in this 6-8 months, Sasha has become crappier toward me again. She got into it with my mom a few months ago on Christmas Eve (my mom finally left my abusive step dad after 12 years), saying some crazy mean and hurtful things about how my mom let my stepdad abuse her and us kids. Calling her a bad mom, saying all my moms kid hate her, how she “chose dick” over us. I didn’t take sides, but I also did not get mad at my mom. This made Sasha mad. After a week, Sasha got over it. NOW, the situation that makes me feel like I should go no contact with her just happened yesterday morning before I was even awake. My other aunt came into town to celebrate her, Sasha, and my little brothers birthday (all within a week of each other). I had been planning a party, but my brothers basketball game got pushed to an earlier time, and my other siblings didn’t get out of after school sports until an hour before my brother had to be at his game. My mom addressed the family group chat, explaining that this had happened, and that my little brother decided he did not want to miss his game. Other family members in the chat began to message solutions, like maybe we have it later after the game, or maybe we have it without my mom and brother at Sasha’s home instead of my moms, things like that. Sasha was not having it. She went OFF, calling my mom some crazy names, saying my mom was “poisoning” my brothers mind, and that’s why he wanted to go to his game instead of their party. Saying that my mom, me and my siblings are all ruined. Telling my mom our whole family hates her (we do not). Saying she’s been thinking about not being close with all my moms kids because she hates my mom so much. Just a bunch of crazy shit before I was even awake, and infront of our whole family group chat. She was awful, ruthless, and over a small part of 11 people? Something we could’ve just rescheduled? I didn’t respond in the group chat when I woke up, instead I blocked Sasha on everything. I feel like our whole lives, Sasha blows up and everyone coddles her. She is mean and ruthless but God forbid you try to hold her accountable. God forbid Sasha is not the center of attention, red carpet rolled out for her at every moment. I know going no contact with Sasha for an extended period of time is probably what’s best for me, as she has drained me for years of my life, but does it make me an asshole? And how do I go no contact when we are family? Do I avoid family events? What do I do when members of my family try to get me to talk to her again? I’m not sure how to handle this, but I’m exhausted with her. She hasn’t changed in 24 years and I can’t force her to.

I messaged a lady that's near me on r4r and it never sent me a notification that she responded to my message. She was looking for a date and wanted to exchange pics. But I was slow to respond because of the lack of notifications and now she's not responding.
I know that doesn't sound very serious but that's just what happened right now. I'm really depressed about a lot of things. I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford a decent living in the future. I won't get into the details but there's so much stuff you have to pay for and if I don't get a really good job there's no way I can afford to be alive. That scares the shit out of me. And because of that I can't enjoy life.
It's also the idiocy. I can't stand how stupid people are. I used to be really dumb, sort of. I mean it really depends on your outlook, I did a lot of dumb shit but it was because I was never serious about anything so I was happy and funny. But now I'm the opposite, miserable but able to see things in a more practical light. And ever since I've been able to do that I have realized how a lot of things that are prevalent in society are stupid af and the people who perpetuate the stupidity are everywhere just blindly ambling through life causing problems everywhere they go. I know what it's like to be unaware of ones own stupidity but some things are just so dumb that it's disgusting for them to exist at all. And yet there they are, every day, all the time, right in your fucking face and there's nothing you can do about it. And that idiocy ultimately seals one's fate to be a miserable existence because we live in idiotic times where rich and poor people exist because society hasn't fully developed into something logical yet. It's not fair, it's literally just stupidity but it's so powerful that my life is going to be shitty.
That's why I'm depressed. If you're reading this you should message me because I am feeling pretty bad and would talk to you if you messaged me.

Hey y’all, I’m looking at an Action Pistol competition near me and was trying to figure out what I’d need.
The event says 6 stages, is there a general amount of shots per stage or does it vary wildly? Also, I have a P80 PF9C that I built and it has a red dot, would that put me in the Gaming Rat Bastard division? Lastly, there was something about 10+1 for capacity? Is that an upper or lower limit? I don’t live in a state that has a max capacity for mags.
Unfortunately practice core doesn’t have any info on the event yet, cause registration doesn’t open until April 1. Is there a organization to join to track my scores? Like NSSA-NSCA, ATA, etc for Clay Target, is there an equivalent for action pistol?

The title says it all. With my work and college schedule I basically only have the day of stocking to fish for a pond near me. I was just wondering if anyone has had experience fishing day of. I was planning to use power bait and I know it will be crowded.

Long post ahead, sorry. I'm just so fucking angry.
I'm epileptic and I can't drive. It's not the end of the world because I live in a city, our public transit is decent and most of all, I love walking. But fucking hell. Lately, maybe it's spring getting here idk, but people barely do their stops, don't give the priority to pedestrians and just drive in the worst way possible - putting everyone else at risk. The past two years have been especially bad for pedestrians in Montreal with so many deaths, including children near their schools. So I guess I'm easily pissed at drivers who can't take a second to stop their fucking cars when they are expected to.I'm always on the lookout and follow the signalisation set for pedestrians because I've had just too many bad experiences.
Tonight I'm crossing a busy street, with two busy bike lanes in both directions. Stopped at the red light, I notice a woman and a guy in their car, both on their phones. The woman (who's driving) keeps looking up nervously to make sure the light hasn't turned green. Instead, she caught my stare and I guess she could see the disapproval in my eyes lol. Bonus, the street crossing the boulevard is pretty small and cars are expected to stop about three meters away from the intersection to let other cars turn, though she was probably too busy texting because she was blocking half of the pedestrian path.(I just want to point out that our driving rules point out very clearly that you are not supposed to hold or type on your phone while driving, including when stopped at a red light).
I kept walking, but I was pretty pissed, so, against my best judgment, I walked back and made a sign for her to bring down her window. She didn't at first, but once she did I asked her why she was typing on her phone while driving, that she shouldn't because she's not supposed to, She immediately starts yelling that she's 'just setting up her map and that I'm overreacting', I tell her, that there's someone else in the car, why don't you ask him to set up the map?? She replies that he's doing that as well..but on his phone? Why can't one of them stay focused on the road (especially the driver!)? From there it just escalates. They keep telling me I'm insane and that what they're doing is okay or whatever. I tried to calm down and I didn't want to talk/yell at her anymore so I took a picture of her car plate, and a picture of her. (She tried backing up her car on me, and when I went to take a picture of her she started to drive at the red light, but I guess the guy made her stop). They both got out of the car, and the guy was like "ughh, was this all worth it? Are you proud of yourself you crazy bitch??". She looked like she was about to hit me or try and break my phone. I was so fucking pissed and scared that they would hit me because I simply told her DON'T TEXT/TYPE WHILE DRIVING.
It's especially upsetting because despites how angry I was when I saw them texting, I reached out and talked to them very calmly in a non-aggressive way and I can't believe how over the top it got.So of course they ran away when I told them I was calling the cops lol (which I couldn't have done anyway cuz I had 1% battery left. At least I got the pics I wanted).
I wish I was back in Japan, one of the hardest places to get a driver's license, where everyone is careful and respectful of other, whether they are drivers, cyclists of pedestrians. I felt so safe there. And no one would ever react the way these jerks did.

A little background about me. I was born in the 1960's into a dysfunctional family where my father ruled the house. He was always bashing my sister, me and my mother about our weight. Mine started when I was very little. I have a twin brother who was thin as well as me, but, he never called him names. His favorite thing to call me was 'skinny bones.' I didn't understand why, since my brother was skinny and skinnier than me at times. My sister was another story, she was obese from childhood and was called all sorts of horrible names and demeaned for her size and how lazy she was. He always made fun of my mother too who was petite but of normal size weight. I also had 2 brothers. My Older brother was spoiled relentlessly by my father and my twin brother was basically ignored and lashed out. For my entire life, I've been called names by my father, ordered to gain weight and constantly trying to control every aspect of my life, thus, I developed an eating disorder around my early teens. I was so confused, being thin was bad, but being fat was worse! I chose to be thin. Seemed the name calling was less hash than what my poor sister got. My Father passed away in 2018 from Cancer, and I was there the whole time with him, taking care of him and trying to make sure that I was doing a good job and helping him with all of my entire being. All I ever wanted was love from him, but that's not what I got. I was still riddiculed up to the day he could no longer speak about my weight. It was horrible, and completely traumatic to my life. I have gone through many, many, therapist, psychologists and am on medication, but nothing has helped me. I feel that my Father was a horrible person to do this to his 'favorite daughter,' as I was labeled. The time from I was 13 to 55 years of age I was ridiculed for my weight because it was the only thing I had control over, not him. I wish that I could let go, but the damage is so bad, I feel like I can't recover. Does anyone else feel this way? I am also a survivor of domestic violence and nearly killed by my ex-husband, but that trauma doesn't even compare to the trauma my father inflicted upon me. He never was there when I needed him, but I was ALWAYS there for him, and endured his verbal and mental abuse. I just wanted him to love me for who I was, but that never happened. Before he died, I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I just didn't want to cause him anymore pain that he was already in. Sometimes I just don't understand people, why they have to make comments about their size and body, it's just absolutely wrong. I don't care if you're underweight or overweight, it's what you are inside those matters, not the outside.

I have ADHD and amidst the adderall shortage i havent been able to get anything from the pharmacies near me so I turned to a street dealer for my medication. this is the first time I have ever done this sort of thing. he gets arrested on the way to me and I’m worried if I could get in trouble for attempting to buy off him. The only thing I could think of that could be done against me is possession but I don’t possess any illicit substances and aside from trying it this once, can they charge me with anything? or will they come to my door if they find my texts with the dealer?

Hello everyone! This year I’ve finally decided to start taking fasting seriously, and I’ve been going strong so far. Overall, I’m feeling great except for one thing:
I vigorously track my calorie intake, as I have been doing my best to put on weight for the past year and a half. Since fall I’ve been doing especially well, with my gym sessions and diet allowing me to put on nearly thirty pounds. However, because I am fasting throughout the day, I am finding it harder and harder to even eat enough to maintain my weight. This is still the case even if I wake up early to eat before the fast begins. Even if I eat until I can’t fit another piece of food in my stomach at night it isn’t enough.
I am scared that I will start to lose weight and be stuck being on the thinner side again. If any of you have had similar experiences or just have advice in general, I’d greatly appreciate it!

Everything comes to an end...
Playing this game from it´s 95 version (as a teenager with an 386sx pc) up to this years edition (as a grown man in it´s mid 40ties with a PS5), today is the day i thought would never come...i completly lost my love for the game, which has accompanied me for more than half my life.
The fun is gone, there´s nothing more to play for...i´m sick of these shitty glitch goals , the ballerinas, the poke check spammers and players circling behind thier own net with after a one goal lead...
Today i tried Hut champions the last time...8 out of 10 games 86 base gold players flying by my whole team (most of my players are 93 an wheels activated) from the start of the game on...i never could catch up. Furthermore my 92 Weber bounced of player types like Kane or Gaudreau every time i tried to hit them...fun?? Not at all..
I also have to play half of my games on the PK, because EA fucked up the hybrid controls this year. Gunning for a rebound: slashing penalty almost every time. Setting up a one timer: Slashing penalty half of the time, because the passing player hacks his opponent after passing the puck, while I`m hitting the shooting button for the one timer...Annoying, frustrating, and never fixed. And before you ask...after nearly 30 years of playing this game pusing buttons to shoot, hit oder pass, my brain ist ot old (and slow, and dumb) to get used to the skill stick controls...big fail every time i try it...can't get it going...
So the onlie modes are quite fucked up and never really fixed by EA...
So what's left?? The offline modes??
Hut rush - was fun until this year...now they have super-human goalies even at rookie to make it frustrating to reach the objectives...so fun?? Gone
SB - Winnig every game 15:1 isn't really challenging...so it*s a boring grind for new packs every week...fun?? Not really
The contend / events:
Mostly the same as the years before...it feels like EA does a copy and paste job here...nothing more...
After all, this game went from a varied enjoyable hockey game to a boring, grind fest which leaves me in a bad mood most of the time after playing...
So I decided to take a break from it and all my tradable players are on the market at the moment...i step down from this game after all this years, maybe I´ll give it a try next autmn, maybe not...
We´ll see...