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2023.05.25 03:33 amazona_voladora 8 performances in 7 days + TOFT
 | (Side note: Many thanks to community members whose posts sharing their experiences helped me plan/navigate this recent trip 🙏 I have been to NYC in the past several times for theatre-centric visits, but this was my first time doing everything totally lottery/rush, so it was exciting and a bit nerve-wracking. I had a list of shows I wanted to see with a loose itinerary and backup plans in the event that something didn’t work out the way I’d hoped.) submitted by amazona_voladora to Broadway [link] [comments] Wednesday evening: Summer, 1976 (my plane was delayed 3 hours, so I was unable to do a matinee) Digital rush via TodayTix ($43), Orch Right C22 One big motivator for my trip was catching Mss. Linney and Hecht in this limited run. The play alternated between laugh-out-loud hilarity and silence streaked with heartbreak; I loved the breezy (an intermissionless 90 minutes), relatable nature of this two-hander exploring the unlikelihood, depth, and life cycle of friendships, memory, truth, love, life, and art. Thursday: Moulin Rouge! In person purchase ($119) to avoid fees, Orch Left F11 (partial view) I loved the show on tour twice and wanted to experience it again, as well as see what technical elements were unique to Broadway. Despite being familiar with the show, I was on cloud nine from the first finger snaps of “Lady Marmalade.” I was such a fan of John Cardoza’s tenor on tour that it was interesting to hear Klena’s timbre. Jojo did not disappoint — I was again brought to tears by “Firework” (the second verse’s text) and wished to hear more of her soprano/legit singing after her high note in “The Pitch.” I didn’t miss not seeing the pre-show in the booth/set above my seat and was pleasantly surprised to realize many characters (including Zidler, Christian, Toulouse, Santiago, and The Duke) use the platform directly next to my seat for entrances/exits, and that I could see the painting on the back of Satine’s dresser mirror. The pyrotechnics, catwalk, swing over the audience, and intimacy of the Hirschfeld made it even more thrilling. Friday: Camelot Digital lottery via Telecharge ($44), Orch Left N110 This was not among my first-tier choices — I had been entering digital lottery the whole week with the aim of Sweeney, but since I never won for Sweeney, I jumped at the chance to savor this gorgeous score. I was prepared by articles and reviews for the lack of magic (including Nimue’s lovely, haunting “Follow Me,” sigh) and set pieces, as well as for the more modern take via Aaron Sorkin’s book. The lush orchestra and singing of Philippa Soo and Jordan Donica were my favorite aspects of the evening; I was reminded of the vocal limitations of the original Arthur since his songs are so talky compared to Guenevere and Lancelot’s. Andrew Burnap was out, and Fergie Philippe portrayed Arthur as a winsome, slightly misfit kid all grown up, unsure of himself as king. I did not buy the tearful final exchange between Jenny and Arthur about how she loved him the whole time because their relationship seemed so staid and sexless (I know Guenevere is largely portrayed as childless in Arthurian legend, but I would have thought a royal marriage would need to be consummated to be considered official), and I disliked how both acts culminated in monologues with underscoring. The music was worth the experience, but I doubt I would have paid full price to see this. Saturday matinee: Sweeney Todd In person, standing room ($40), 103 (Orch Center, left of the booth) Realizing how gutted I’d be if I missed out on this, I browsed the ticket map for Saturday matinee and saw only 2 seats left. (My original plan was to rush The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window.) I was third in line behind a married couple by 7:27 AM and made acquaintances with fellow theatre lovers that helped pass the time. (I always bring a book and had stopped for Starbucks before.) The house staff informed us that there were up to 12 standing room slots per show, and if we were below 5’3”, we might be out of luck. I am exactly 5’. There are 6 slots at the higher barricade (each behind orchestra left and right) and 6 at the shorter (orchestra center flanking the booth). I snagged a spot directly to the left of the booth. I was prepared to stand in forced arch the whole time, but I was able to stand up straight with the barricade a few inches below my chin. (Perhaps shorter folks could bring a collapsible step stool to help?) The view was unobstructed despite the mezz overhang (you’ll have to run to the aisle to see the bows once folks stand up, though) — I was able to see the activity on the bridge and most of the crane/tower (Johanna’s head when she was imprisoned was a little chopped off). This was my favorite experience of the weekend. I had almost forgotten I was standing for 2.5+ hours because I was spellbound. The crisp diction (from ensemble and soloists alike), glorious orchestra and orchestrations, appropriately restless, creepy choreography, mysterious lighting, and amazing cast were chef’s kiss I am not a hardcore Grobanite but was grateful to finally experience him live after missing out on Comet. (Even if some have criticized him for sounding “too pretty” or not being maniacal enough in the role, I can’t complain.) Annaleigh was a feral delight as Mrs. Lovett; the physical comedy had me in stitches, and I appreciated the detail work (in her NYT interview, Ashford said the humor is grounded in Lovett’s anguish and pain). Ruthie Ann Miles’ Beggar Woman was haunting and tragic. (I was familiar with the score and plot but had never before seen the show in person.) Delaney Westfall was a silvery-voiced, appropriately bird-like Johanna and Raymond J. Lee was an amusingly flashy Pirelli. I would love to see this again from a front mezz seat. Saturday evening: Leopoldstadt In person rush ($35), Orch Left L10 I was able to stroll right into the box office to purchase a ticket right after I had paid for Sweeney. I was haunted by Stoppard’s The Coast of Utopia in a regional production several years ago and knew I had to experience this. The intermissionless, decades- and generation-spanning drama flew by, and despite having a head up from prior viewers, seeing and hearing the final scene brought me to tears. I especially enjoyed Brandon Uranowitz and Joshua Malina’s performances. Sunday matinee: Kimberly Akimbo In person rush ($40), Box LB 1 This was also not my first choice, but I am so glad I saw it. I was in the Parade rush line (8th around 8:49 AM for a noon box office opening) when I unsuccessfully attempted A Doll’s House digital rush. (One option I considered was A Doll’s House, Moulin Rouge!, and then Parade, except Jojo was out on Sunday.) After I had gotten my Parade ticket at 12:04 PM, I had my KA matinee ticket in hand at 12:11 PM. In retrospect, I wish I had the option of the right box seat because sitting on the left means missing out on seeing Seth at his Skate Planet booth and scenes in Kim’s bedroom and at the lockers. (The next tier of rush ticket was $60? in the orchestra, second row.) I have been a Jeanine Tesori fan since Millie, and I appreciated the appealing score, winning cast, and humor (I scream-laughed so hard I hurt) entwined with sorrow. I also relished the opportunity to finally see Victoria Clark live after years of having admired her work — her solo in “My Disease” brought me to tears. I loved how earnest and vulnerable her Kimberly, as well as newcomer Justin Cooley’s nerdy Seth were. Bonnie Milligan is a powerhouse and comic delight in her solos, and the Greek chorus of show choiclassmates offered tight harmonies and impressive ice skating. This was the only show I stagedoored (I used to enjoy expressing gratitude in person in the past but am now wary of unruly, large crowds) at the urging of my new friends, and it was very light (single layer of people) and orderly, with Michael Iskander, Nina White, Alli Mauzey, and Stephen Boyer coming out. (The guard said Ms. Clark had come out the previous evening.) Sunday evening: Parade In person rush ($45), Mezz C27 I am grateful to the box office staff for recommending the mezz instead of a box (even if it might have meant sitting near Manuel Felciano or Sean Allan Krill & Stacie Bono) for better sight lines. I didn’t regret not seeing some of the projections, and it was a great seat for the price. I was less familiar with the score (compared to Sweeney) but knew the heartbreaking, infuriating story. I understood how insidious “The Red Hills of Home” is upon hearing Stephen Webb’s beautiful singing and how catchy the melody is. The ensemble’s diction was not as clear as that of Sweeney’s at times. I felt uneasy at seeing the jovial Memorial Day parade festivities onstage knowing what lay ahead. I loved the blend of Micaela Diamond’s (I marveled at how he navigated chest, mix, and head as well as her vocal powerful and expressiveness) and Ben Platt’s voices, as well as the staging and lighting during “The Factory Girls”/“Come Up to My Office.” “All the Wasted Time” was particularly beautiful and heartrending knowing that the “Sh’ma” was next — I found myself holding my breath and wondering why people were so hateful for this to have unfolded. I liked the return of Charlie Webb and Ashlyn Maddox (the Young Confederate Soldier & Young Woman, respectively) as contemporary Georgia Tech students during the epilogue mentioning the reopening of Leo Frank’s case in 2019. Monday: Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute) Digital rush ($25), Orch Left X35 This is one of my favorite operas (I performed the opening scene as the First Lady/Erste Dame in college opera scenes), so I jumped at the chance to see it in person for the first time. (I have already seen Six and was on the fence about OUAOMT although I figure I’ll see it next trip.) Although I liked elements of Simon McBurney’s acclaimed production that is new to the Met (but has been staged many times over the years elsewhere) — the use of a foley artist, wire work, instances of humor (Papageno quoting The Godfather in English; sharing his phone number with the audience as he searches for a wife) — I was not a fan of the minimalism, projections, and drab costumes that were mostly everyday clothing. (I especially disliked the anatomically detailed nude unitards under mesh dresses that the Three Ladies and their cohorts wore after the opening scene.) The opera was otherwise well-sung by the luminous Erin Morley (Pamina), Lawrence Brownlee (Tamino), and Kathryn Lewek (the Queen of the Night, whose Vengeance Aria rightfully garnered the longest applause of the night). I prefer the color and puppetry of Julie Taymor’s production. Bonus: Steel Pier at Theatre on Film & Tape Archive (TOFT) I signed up for a NYPL Special Collections account online before my trip and obtained a NYPL card (good for three months since I am not a resident — it was confusing to me because the verbiage online states that anyone can have a Special Collections account and library card regardless of residence, as long as one furnished proof of address; the librarian compromised and offered me the temporary card). I did not make a reservation/appointment beforehand at TOFT, which is recommended, since walk-ins are at the discretion of the staff. I enjoyed the colorful, masterful The Wonderful Willa Kim exhibit on the street level of NYPL for the Performing Arts before making my way to TOFT. I was required to check my bags and coat, and most of the titles that interested me were listed as unavailable online. (For instance, The Assembled Parties is viewable only with permission from the original production’s director.) Steel Pier had been a favorite of mine since a theatre friend introduced me to it in high school. It was a delight to finally associate choreography and images with songs I have listened to for years. Karen Ziemba (one of my all-time favorites) made for a winning and lithe-limbed Rita Racine, and Broadway debutante Kristin Chenoweth was hilarious as the ambitious Precious McGuire (I had to rewind at least twice to catch her lovely high E). I don’t know what the quality of other productions’ footage is like, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that Steel Pier was NOT just a back-of-house/wide shot without closeups, and the footage was not grainy at all. It included footage of patrons in the theatre, a house announcement about filming, as well as the bows and most of the exit music. |
2023.05.24 17:37 kennynailtech Ideas for neutral nails: Colors from Sofia Richie's wardrobe
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2023.05.24 00:02 Necrolancer96 Summoning Kobolds At Midnight: A Tale of Suburbia & Sorcery. 80
Chapter LXXX
Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.
"I royally fucked up Sloth." Clive confessed as he sat on a stump near the giant.
Since the morning after the Harvest Festival, Clive had initially gone about his business with little worry. But that didn't last long as he soon remembered that he had nothing to do.
Which led to him thinking more and more about what had happened last night, or tried to at least. He couldn't remember much, just a lot of drink, food, and a vague blur of flesh. Which he realized was his intimate, if drunken, night with one Mrs. Longfellow.
He hid his face in his hands in shame and embarrassment. Stupid beer, and stupid body, Clive thought. He was doing so good too in avoiding the thotling. Until last night.
He was just glad that he didn't have a walk of shame at least. Though from the state of the place more than a few people, human and halfling, would be walking away with a few new regrets.
But he knew what was going to happen when he returned. The whorling would no doubt be quick to tell all about their nightly activities. Though given how last night went for everyone, he doubt many would care and it was more to "claim" him publicly. Then there was her husband.
Clive groaned. That was another fitshan he was waiting for. Honestly, at this point he wasn't even entirely sure if he was in on her advances or if he was just blissfully ignorant of the sheer thirst the woman he called his wife was.
What was he even supposed to do, Clive thought as he gazed at the roaring bonfire and the refreshed pile of boar. At this rate they might be downgraded from plague to nuisance.
Should he apologize to the halfling for sleeping with his wife? Is there some halfling etiquette that had to be followed? Then Clive groaned some more when he realized that there was another problem.
He finished inside. That was obvious when he saw what they did under the sheets. From what he's gathered from halfling society, there was now a high likelihood that in a few months he would be a father. There wasn't a chance in hell that she WASN'T going to have his kid, and he doubt the halflings would use the morning after pill even if they knew what it was.
It was all about family for the halflings, no matter how loose their morals were during a festival. So now he had to prepare to hear Mrs. Longfellow flaunt their time together as a social bludgeon. There were other options. But he already felt like an outsider in town and with the halflings. Even suggesting the nuclear option would make him an immediate pariah in both camps and it put a pit in his stomach just to think about it.
Sloth munching and crunching on boar did little to distract him from his troubles. Clive wished he was so simple minded, or at least had a simpler life, as Sloth. He didn't need to worry about getting a baby mama in a drunken haze!
Instead, he sat on his stump and dreaded what he would hear when he returned to the settlement. He doubt it would be anything reprimanding, if anything he would probably be congratulated!
But he didn't want to be congratulated for sleeping with a married woman! A woman that made him feel like he needed to see a doctor soon after! Which is what he did. The first thing he did when he realized he had nothing else pressing to do was speed to town and get checked.
Nothing was immediately confirmed, and he would have to come back for a update in a day or so. Given the halflings medieval lifestyle he wasn't sure what all he had to even worry about. He could rule out HIV/AIDS. He hoped. Then again, halflings could have something that could affect humans!
That was Clive's day so far. Worry, worry, and more worry.
-----
"'Ow could you let this happen Hamish?!" Addie yelled at her husband as he dressed. She had left the tent for a moment for some air and saw Mrs. Carrie Longfellow leaving Clive's tent! Naked!
"Wha' did I let happen?" Hamish said as he tried to pull his britches on.
"'Ow could you let tha' strumpet claim Clive?! You were supposed ta be keepin' him company!"
"Well, dear, I were a wee bit distracted." Hamish said as he pinched his wife's rounded bottom.
Addie smacked it away in frustration.
"One job Hamish! ONE! Keep him company 'nd keep her from gettin' her claws on him durin' tha festival!"
"I think tha's TWO dear." Hamish groaned as he nursed his stinging hand.
"Dinnae be gettin' smart with me Hamish Hambinger! It were already more a chore because o' yer temper, now Stella will 'ave a 'arder time ta get Clive ta court her!"
"She's still a babe! She cannae barely keep her eyes open let alone woo him!"
"'Nd now she may ne'er be able ta cause o' her! She were tha obvious choice 'fer now! Kilpa's fallen out o' favor, 'nd Carrie... is Carrie. NOW?! Now she's claimed him 'nd no doubt has his children swimmin' in her right now!"
Hamish rolled his eyes.
"Can you please not talk 'bout tha' so early in tha mornin'?"
"Well. If SOMEONE had done wha' I told him to, then I wouldnae be!"
"Look 'ere woman! You dinnae know if anythin' happened last night between them! So why worry?!"
"Cause Hamish. She walked out o' his tent. NAKED! Tha smug smile on her face made it clear EXACTLY wha' it were they did!"
"Fine! Now tha' Mrs. Longfellow has bedded Clive. Wha' is tha plan?"
"We kill her." Addie said simple and plainly.
Hamish rolled his eyes even more.
"You've been sayin' tha' fer years."
"I mean it this time Hamish."
"Been sayin' tha' too." Hamish grumbled as he pulled on a boot.
"If we dinnae do somethin' it's only a matter o' time 'fer her husband gets an "accident" 'nd Clive weds her!"
"I highly doubt either o' those thin's will happen Addie. Fer one. 'Ow is she ta give her husband an "accident"? 'Nd two! Clive wouldnae marry her!"
"You dinnae know tha' Hamish! Thin's change when a babe enters tha mix!"
"Dinnae remind me." Hamish mumbled some more as he searched for the other missing boot. Said boot flew at his head by the furious might of a quite angry wife.
"Get dressed 'nd go talk ta Clive! Make sure wha' he did or didnae do with her!" Addie commanded.
"Fine fine!" Hamish groaned as he kissed Stella, messed Feryl's hair and kissed his still fuming wife. Then he left the tent, a bit relieved to be away of his wife's fury.
-----
Clive meanwhile had left Sloth. He wasn't really in the mood to do much with him other than check on him. He returned to the settlement and made for the main tent, where constant feasting was held regardless of events. It was there that he found what he was looking for.
Beer. Or maybe it was ale. He wasn't sure, he would have to talk to Jeb, or Morty, about the difference in spirits. Regardless, he wanted, no, NEEDED, a big mug to settle his nerves. Or at least help calm his troubled mind.
A big mug, even for a human, of cold frothy swill was placed in front of him and he took a needy swig. He REALLY didn't need more beer. But he didn't have much else that would work at the moment.
As he nursed his drink, and his stormy thoughts, he barely noticed Hamish walk up beside him and take his own seat.
"Wha's tha matter lad?"
"I fucked up." Clive stated.
"Yeah? 'Ow?" Hamish asked as he received his own mug.
"I'm not entirely sure. I was with your family and Sam one moment, and the next I'm waking up bare-ass naked, bed soaked with you-know-what, next to a married woman who I've been avoiding like Uranium!"
"Wha's Yer-aye-nee-yum?"
"Radioactive ore. But that's not the point! What do I do and how do I fix it?!"
"Well, not much. Just hope yer swimmers dinnae take 'nd make better choices in tha future!" Hamish stated with a chuckle.
"Real helpful!"
"Relax! Ifin it's who I think it is. You dinnae 'ave ta worry! She's married! You'll be fine!"
"Really? Just sit back and let her possibly have my kid and watch as someone else raises it?"
"Just a moment ago you were wantin' solutions. Now you sound sad about it!"
"It's complicated alright! I'd potentially be a dad!"
"Just not how you would've wanted?"
"Yeah." Clive said sullenly.
Hamish took a swig and set his mug aside with a sigh.
"Sometimes lad. We dinnae always get our 'appy endin's. Sometimes we 'ave ta make do with wha' we get."
Clive was about to answer but was interrupted as Carrie rushed to his side, and she was crying.
"Oh Cliven! I'm glad I found you!"
"What's wrong?" Clive and Hamish both asked.
"It's my husband! H-h-he..." She choked down a sob.
"Wha' happened?"
-----
23 Minutes Ago.
Carrie stood nude in front of a mirror in her tent. She rubbed a hand over her belly. She could still remember last night, and the climax. She could just feel herself being fertilized by Clive's seed. She shivered as the lewd memories filled her mind as her body started to react.
But her moment was ruined however by her husband waddling around the divider that separated the spouses into their own respective areas of the tent. Her side was larger obviously.
"Oh? A wee bit frisky this mornin' dear?"
She slapped away his grubby hands as he made to fondle her voluptuous body.
"Not now dear! I'm in tha middle o' gettin' presentable fer tha day!"
"O' course dear! I'll leave you ta get fancied up!" He cheered and retreated to his small corner of the tent.
She sneered with disgust. She deserved better than him. But she wasn't high enough status to snag a member of the Big Families. So she had to settle for her husband, who was little more than a medium ranked clerk for the county back home.
What little status he had was gone when they were forced to relocate. Before, she could stomach the pitiful man because of his position. But now he didn't even have that.
But now she didn't have to settle. Now she had Clive's seed running through her womb, she thought as she rubbed her belly. Now she just needed to free herself of some unwanted baggage.
"Dear?" She asked sweetly.
"Yes my love?"
"I think I'd like a bath!" Carrie stated as she made to dress extra warmly, and in black.
"Course dear!" Her husband cheered and made to escort her to the bath, until she pulled away from him and made for the river.
"Dear? Tha bath is this way?"
"I know. But today I feel like a refreshin' dip in tha river!" She claimed and continued to walk towards the river. Her husband simply shrugged and waddled after her.
Before long the spouses sat at the bank. Carrie watched her husband undress and dipped a toe in the cold water.
"You sure you want a dip in here dear?"
"Aye. This'll do nicely." She said darkly.
"I guess it'll be a nice di-"
CRACK!
He didn't get to finish as a branch hit him across the back of the head and he fell into the cold water. Carrie threw the drift wood branch into the water after him and walked back towards the settlement.
After asking around she found Clive at the main tent getting a drink. She smiled and began to sob. She rushed towards Clive. Where she told him what had happened to her husband. Well, except for a very important detail.
"We were by tha river! 'Nd then he fell forward inta tha water!"
"Oh my God! Someone get help!" Clive called and made to go help the poor man. He might feel bad for what he did. But that didn't mean the fatling deserved to die!
"No!" Carrie cried.
Hamish, Clive, and the few others nearby stopped when she did.
"I mean. It'd be too late! He must be dead either from tha cold or tha water by now! He wouldnae want you ta risk yer life fer his corpse!"
"Well. Either way. He deserves a proper burial." Clive stated solemnly.
"Alright e'eryone! We're lookin' fer Mr. Longfellow! He were last seen by-"
"DEAR?!" A voice called out. To the surprise of everyone. Especially Carrie.
"Wha' are you doin' 'ere?!" She cried as her husband, soaked but still very much alive, waddled over and embraced his wife. Soaking her black dress with cold river water.
"I were so worried! After I fell inta tha water everythin' went black! But I woke up just a short distance from our spot! I didnae know 'ow long I was out fer 'nd I were so worried fer you I ran back 'ere ta get help! Only ta find you 'ere gettin' help fer ME instead!" He cried thick tears as he embraced his very surprised wife.
"Well... I'm glad ta see you alright! Clive 'ere were just ready ta jump inta tha water ta save you!" Carrie said through clenched teeth as the water, and her husband, caused her to shake. Either with cold or fury as her plan failed.
The lardling let go of his wife and shook Clive's hand vigorously.
"Thank you lad! Yer a saint sent by tha Harvest Mother Herself!"
Clive meanwhile wasn't sure how to feel. What was he supposed to feel as he shook the hand of the man whos wife he slept with last night? A problem for another time, Clive thought. Now was a time to be, at least outwardly, happy.
"I'm just glad to see your alright! I suggest you go home and rest and warmup!"
"Oh aye! I will! 'Nd I hope my amazin' wife can help with tha'!" He said as he pulled her into another wet embrace. Much to her increasing annoyance.
"I'll... do wha' I can." She said through still gritted teeth.
With that, the two left. Leaving many confused, though glad, halflings and a human that had many things on his mind. But pushed them aside as he sat back down and drunk his beer with Hamish as they made idle chit-chat.
While they did, Hamish looked on at the two retreating halflings with a critical look. Maybe Addie had a point, he thought. But he wasn't going to tell her that!
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Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.
"I royally fucked up Sloth." Clive confessed as he sat on a stump near the giant.
Since the morning after the Harvest Festival, Clive had initially gone about his business with little worry. But that didn't last long as he soon remembered that he had nothing to do.
Which led to him thinking more and more about what had happened last night, or tried to at least. He couldn't remember much, just a lot of drink, food, and a vague blur of flesh. Which he realized was his intimate, if drunken, night with one Mrs. Longfellow.
He hid his face in his hands in shame and embarrassment. Stupid beer, and stupid body, Clive thought. He was doing so good too in avoiding the thotling. Until last night.
He was just glad that he didn't have a walk of shame at least. Though from the state of the place more than a few people, human and halfling, would be walking away with a few new regrets.
But he knew what was going to happen when he returned. The whorling would no doubt be quick to tell all about their nightly activities. Though given how last night went for everyone, he doubt many would care and it was more to "claim" him publicly. Then there was her husband.
Clive groaned. That was another fitshan he was waiting for. Honestly, at this point he wasn't even entirely sure if he was in on her advances or if he was just blissfully ignorant of the sheer thirst the woman he called his wife was.
What was he even supposed to do, Clive thought as he gazed at the roaring bonfire and the refreshed pile of boar. At this rate they might be downgraded from plague to nuisance.
Should he apologize to the halfling for sleeping with his wife? Is there some halfling etiquette that had to be followed? Then Clive groaned some more when he realized that there was another problem.
He finished inside. That was obvious when he saw what they did under the sheets. From what he's gathered from halfling society, there was now a high likelihood that in a few months he would be a father. There wasn't a chance in hell that she WASN'T going to have his kid, and he doubt the halflings would use the morning after pill even if they knew what it was.
It was all about family for the halflings, no matter how loose their morals were during a festival. So now he had to prepare to hear Mrs. Longfellow flaunt their time together as a social bludgeon. There were other options. But he already felt like an outsider in town and with the halflings. Even suggesting the nuclear option would make him an immediate pariah in both camps and it put a pit in his stomach just to think about it.
Sloth munching and crunching on boar did little to distract him from his troubles. Clive wished he was so simple minded, or at least had a simpler life, as Sloth. He didn't need to worry about getting a baby mama in a drunken haze!
Instead, he sat on his stump and dreaded what he would hear when he returned to the settlement. He doubt it would be anything reprimanding, if anything he would probably be congratulated!
But he didn't want to be congratulated for sleeping with a married woman! A woman that made him feel like he needed to see a doctor soon after! Which is what he did. The first thing he did when he realized he had nothing else pressing to do was speed to town and get checked.
Nothing was immediately confirmed, and he would have to come back for a update in a day or so. Given the halflings medieval lifestyle he wasn't sure what all he had to even worry about. He could rule out HIV/AIDS. He hoped. Then again, halflings could have something that could affect humans!
That was Clive's day so far. Worry, worry, and more worry.
-----
"'Ow could you let this happen Hamish?!" Addie yelled at her husband as he dressed. She had left the tent for a moment for some air and saw Mrs. Carrie Longfellow leaving Clive's tent! Naked!
"Wha' did I let happen?" Hamish said as he tried to pull his britches on.
"'Ow could you let tha' strumpet claim Clive?! You were supposed ta be keepin' him company!"
"Well, dear, I were a wee bit distracted." Hamish said as he pinched his wife's rounded bottom.
Addie smacked it away in frustration.
"One job Hamish! ONE! Keep him company 'nd keep her from gettin' her claws on him durin' tha festival!"
"I think tha's TWO dear." Hamish groaned as he nursed his stinging hand.
"Dinnae be gettin' smart with me Hamish Hambinger! It were already more a chore because o' yer temper, now Stella will 'ave a 'arder time ta get Clive ta court her!"
"She's still a babe! She cannae barely keep her eyes open let alone woo him!"
"'Nd now she may ne'er be able ta cause o' her! She were tha obvious choice 'fer now! Kilpa's fallen out o' favor, 'nd Carrie... is Carrie. NOW?! Now she's claimed him 'nd no doubt has his children swimmin' in her right now!"
Hamish rolled his eyes.
"Can you please not talk 'bout tha' so early in tha mornin'?"
"Well. If SOMEONE had done wha' I told him to, then I wouldnae be!"
"Look 'ere woman! You dinnae know if anythin' happened last night between them! So why worry?!"
"Cause Hamish. She walked out o' his tent. NAKED! Tha smug smile on her face made it clear EXACTLY wha' it were they did!"
"Fine! Now tha' Mrs. Longfellow has bedded Clive. Wha' is tha plan?"
"We kill her." Addie said simple and plainly.
Hamish rolled his eyes even more.
"You've been sayin' tha' fer years."
"I mean it this time Hamish."
"Been sayin' tha' too." Hamish grumbled as he pulled on a boot.
"If we dinnae do somethin' it's only a matter o' time 'fer her husband gets an "accident" 'nd Clive weds her!"
"I highly doubt either o' those thin's will happen Addie. Fer one. 'Ow is she ta give her husband an "accident"? 'Nd two! Clive wouldnae marry her!"
"You dinnae know tha' Hamish! Thin's change when a babe enters tha mix!"
"Dinnae remind me." Hamish mumbled some more as he searched for the other missing boot. Said boot flew at his head by the furious might of a quite angry wife.
"Get dressed 'nd go talk ta Clive! Make sure wha' he did or didnae do with her!" Addie commanded.
"Fine fine!" Hamish groaned as he kissed Stella, messed Feryl's hair and kissed his still fuming wife. Then he left the tent, a bit relieved to be away of his wife's fury.
-----
Clive meanwhile had left Sloth. He wasn't really in the mood to do much with him other than check on him. He returned to the settlement and made for the main tent, where constant feasting was held regardless of events. It was there that he found what he was looking for.
Beer. Or maybe it was ale. He wasn't sure, he would have to talk to Jeb, or Morty, about the difference in spirits. Regardless, he wanted, no, NEEDED, a big mug to settle his nerves. Or at least help calm his troubled mind.
A big mug, even for a human, of cold frothy swill was placed in front of him and he took a needy swig. He REALLY didn't need more beer. But he didn't have much else that would work at the moment.
As he nursed his drink, and his stormy thoughts, he barely noticed Hamish walk up beside him and take his own seat.
"Wha's tha matter lad?"
"I fucked up." Clive stated.
"Yeah? 'Ow?" Hamish asked as he received his own mug.
"I'm not entirely sure. I was with your family and Sam one moment, and the next I'm waking up bare-ass naked, bed soaked with you-know-what, next to a married woman who I've been avoiding like Uranium!"
"Wha's Yer-aye-nee-yum?"
"Radioactive ore. But that's not the point! What do I do and how do I fix it?!"
"Well, not much. Just hope yer swimmers dinnae take 'nd make better choices in tha future!" Hamish stated with a chuckle.
"Real helpful!"
"Relax! Ifin it's who I think it is. You dinnae 'ave ta worry! She's married! You'll be fine!"
"Really? Just sit back and let her possibly have my kid and watch as someone else raises it?"
"Just a moment ago you were wantin' solutions. Now you sound sad about it!"
"It's complicated alright! I'd potentially be a dad!"
"Just not how you would've wanted?"
"Yeah." Clive said sullenly.
Hamish took a swig and set his mug aside with a sigh.
"Sometimes lad. We dinnae always get our 'appy endin's. Sometimes we 'ave ta make do with wha' we get."
Clive was about to answer but was interrupted as Carrie rushed to his side, and she was crying.
"Oh Cliven! I'm glad I found you!"
"What's wrong?" Clive and Hamish both asked.
"It's my husband! H-h-he..." She choked down a sob.
"Wha' happened?"
-----
23 Minutes Ago.
Carrie stood nude in front of a mirror in her tent. She rubbed a hand over her belly. She could still remember last night, and the climax. She could just feel herself being fertilized by Clive's seed. She shivered as the lewd memories filled her mind as her body started to react.
But her moment was ruined however by her husband waddling around the divider that separated the spouses into their own respective areas of the tent. Her side was larger obviously.
"Oh? A wee bit frisky this mornin' dear?"
She slapped away his grubby hands as he made to fondle her voluptuous body.
"Not now dear! I'm in tha middle o' gettin' presentable fer tha day!"
"O' course dear! I'll leave you ta get fancied up!" He cheered and retreated to his small corner of the tent.
She sneered with disgust. She deserved better than him. But she wasn't high enough status to snag a member of the Big Families. So she had to settle for her husband, who was little more than a medium ranked clerk for the county back home.
What little status he had was gone when they were forced to relocate. Before, she could stomach the pitiful man because of his position. But now he didn't even have that.
But now she didn't have to settle. Now she had Clive's seed running through her womb, she thought as she rubbed her belly. Now she just needed to free herself of some unwanted baggage.
"Dear?" She asked sweetly.
"Yes my love?"
"I think I'd like a bath!" Carrie stated as she made to dress extra warmly, and in black.
"Course dear!" Her husband cheered and made to escort her to the bath, until she pulled away from him and made for the river.
"Dear? Tha bath is this way?"
"I know. But today I feel like a refreshin' dip in tha river!" She claimed and continued to walk towards the river. Her husband simply shrugged and waddled after her.
Before long the spouses sat at the bank. Carrie watched her husband undress and dipped a toe in the cold water.
"You sure you want a dip in here dear?"
"Aye. This'll do nicely." She said darkly.
"I guess it'll be a nice di-"
CRACK!
He didn't get to finish as a branch hit him across the back of the head and he fell into the cold water. Carrie threw the drift wood branch into the water after him and walked back towards the settlement.
After asking around she found Clive at the main tent getting a drink. She smiled and began to sob. She rushed towards Clive. Where she told him what had happened to her husband. Well, except for a very important detail.
"We were by tha river! 'Nd then he fell forward inta tha water!"
"Oh my God! Someone get help!" Clive called and made to go help the poor man. He might feel bad for what he did. But that didn't mean the fatling deserved to die!
"No!" Carrie cried.
Hamish, Clive, and the few others nearby stopped when she did.
"I mean. It'd be too late! He must be dead either from tha cold or tha water by now! He wouldnae want you ta risk yer life fer his corpse!"
"Well. Either way. He deserves a proper burial." Clive stated solemnly.
"Alright e'eryone! We're lookin' fer Mr. Longfellow! He were last seen by-"
"DEAR?!" A voice called out. To the surprise of everyone. Especially Carrie.
"Wha' are you doin' 'ere?!" She cried as her husband, soaked but still very much alive, waddled over and embraced his wife. Soaking her black dress with cold river water.
"I were so worried! After I fell inta tha water everythin' went black! But I woke up just a short distance from our spot! I didnae know 'ow long I was out fer 'nd I were so worried fer you I ran back 'ere ta get help! Only ta find you 'ere gettin' help fer ME instead!" He cried thick tears as he embraced his very surprised wife.
"Well... I'm glad ta see you alright! Clive 'ere were just ready ta jump inta tha water ta save you!" Carrie said through clenched teeth as the water, and her husband, caused her to shake. Either with cold or fury as her plan failed.
The lardling let go of his wife and shook Clive's hand vigorously.
"Thank you lad! Yer a saint sent by tha Harvest Mother Herself!"
Clive meanwhile wasn't sure how to feel. What was he supposed to feel as he shook the hand of the man whos wife he slept with last night? A problem for another time, Clive thought. Now was a time to be, at least outwardly, happy.
"I'm just glad to see your alright! I suggest you go home and rest and warmup!"
"Oh aye! I will! 'Nd I hope my amazin' wife can help with tha'!" He said as he pulled her into another wet embrace. Much to her increasing annoyance.
"I'll... do wha' I can." She said through still gritted teeth.
With that, the two left. Leaving many confused, though glad, halflings and a human that had many things on his mind. But pushed them aside as he sat back down and drunk his beer with Hamish as they made idle chit-chat.
While they did, Hamish looked on at the two retreating halflings with a critical look. Maybe Addie had a point, he thought. But he wasn't going to tell her that!
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2023.05.20 10:04 Bailey_bitch AITA for helping my friend tell somebody we don't know that another friend is lying about that girl.
I (F13) and my other friend (f13) have been listening to another friend (f13) lie about an (f17) who teaches her some instrument some september 2022. Unfortunately the lies aren't little ones that are like she said this or anything. She's saying they've had sex numerous times, sent each other nudes, and whenever she had to leave a conversation she says "gtg I've got Ava (not her real name) bent over". Over time everyone has gotten annoyed of this. And it's not even that it's happened ages ago and come up again. Me and a friend asked her last week asking if it really happened and she agreed. My friend texted me and asked for some of the things Amelia (fake name) has said about Ava. I told her a few things and she sent me this and asked if it was alright to send to the girl "Hi Ava, someone as you know called amelia who you teach music to, has been spreading some worrying rumours and well I thought I should tell you, first off I’m going to start with a bad one: she told me and a lot of people (a whole form) that you sent her n*des and I thought that isn’t true (I hope) as I said to her no I’m sure she never because it illegal. This was around a month ago, I asked her the other day and still agrees. She has also said that you made out with her inside the music room. This also is a lie (proof a: others in the room, proof b: couldn’t be alone in the music room) in various matters she has sent unnecessary pictures of you from other’s pictures and stories and anytime she has ended a conversation she has said 'got to go got Ava bent over’ which is not true. She’s also said that your obsessed over her and ring her multiple times a day. She has also said you and her were dating, just thought I’d let you know because this is strange." Obviously the girl was creeped out and went to the safeguarding officer (Mrs Johnson) with the message. Mrs Johnson then went to our HoY and our HoY has spoken to the Amelia. Amelia is now acting like the victim and is saying she hasn't said any of that when our entire form heard her say that. I told my dad and my dad asked why it was any of my business but to be honest I was feeling bad for Ava I mean if you were 17 and some 13 year old was saying all that to you you'd want to know right? My family is telling me I was wrong for helping to let Ava know but idk AITA?
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