Jcpenney commercial joy comfort and peace

Life is short, why not suffer through it together?
I'll admit, I'm a bit of an odd one. I enjoy deep conversations more than anything, well, except maybe competition. I care way more about how someone thinks rather than how they look. Clear, honest communication is also very important. Why cover up your actual meaning and create an infinite web of assumptions?
As far as hobbies go, I play a decent of games and read quite a bit. (What are your top 3 books?) I also enjoy movies, YouTube/Twitch and music. (Favorite band currently is The Warning)
I'm a Christian but I don't buy into the organized religion side of things very much. A lot of denominations or specific leaders seem to misinterpret the bible, even if well intentioned, causing a lot of the bad PR Christianity has gotten recently. Politics wise, I'm mostly libertarian and generally think the both main parties in the US are going a bit crazy.
That brings me to why I'm giving this subreddit a try. For a long time I was never really been interested in dating but I'm realizing the joys are probably worth the potential pains. I figured, why not give it a shot and maybe the right person will come along? I should also make it clear that I'm not looking for anything causal. What's the point in investing trust in someone if it's not for the long haul?
This post is purposely a bit vague with the intent of providing lots of good conversation starters. Any and all questions are welcome! I enjoy debating/discussing topics from all sides so fire away.
​
To save us both time, here are a few general things I'm looking for: (Not necessarily deal breakers)
-Introverted or comfortable with not being around people all the time.
-Same core moral beliefs.
-Not overly sensitive or emotional. (I can be blunt at times)
-Intelligent and open minded.
​
Extra bonuses:
-Factorio
-The Wandering Inn
-Into Fitness
-Chess
​
Who knows what the future holds but looking forward to hearing from you!

The Singularity isn’t a specific point, it is the curve itself, when it becomes a near vertical cliff of technological advancement.
That feeling that there is a major breakthrough in AI or science every year then every quarter then every month then every week
And now it is nearly every day But what of every hour then every minute then every second then every millisecond
If you’re a journalist, you can’t keep up, you can’t report fast or good enough. If you’re a full time analyst with various engineering degrees you can probably still keep up, but just barely, and by June you can only keep up in the smallest niches.
The Singularity is definitely when nobody can keep up and we have to start using AI to distill TL;DRs for us every day.
The Singularity is probably also when 80% of humans can’t comprehend or keep up with these advances. (Already there?)
The Singularity is here with or without AGI. It will pass like a ship in the night, while we’re sleeping or working or panicking on other things in life. Perhaps imaginative writers can keep up, the oracles who have already predicted this, the future oracles who can imagine generalized outcomes some years out.
Perhaps it can only be imagined through story, but not fully grasped. Perhaps scientists become archaeologists, working backwards to understanding how AI has evolved, as understanding what it currently is or how it works will soon be in machine code and a trillion trillion parameters that upgrade models every millisecond. Perhaps the gods never existed in the past, and we know this because they are only being born now.
The Singularity is no longer one man’s definition, but rather a societal feeling of liminal incomprehensibility of rapid change that is beyond human capacity.
We turn to our humble dogs, and they grin and lick and comfort us, long ago having found other deeper joys than being intellectually dominant. And our cats turn to us, with a mysterious smile and wide, weird eyes. And we share a breath with the same trees (still alive) that have shared a breath with some of our ancestors 3000 years ago. And finally, we look away from our glowing screens, and look up to the stars and see a million years into the past, wondering who will look up to see our beautiful twinkle a million years hence.

Hi!
My name is Dylan and I’m a 21 year old single guy from northeastern Illinois in the US.
While anyone 18 and up id welcome, I’d really like to meet an older woman. I’m mature for my age and would enjoy keeping someone older company in their 30s or 40s or older! I’m relaxing in bed enjoying some tea and listening to music so I figured hey, let’s see if I can meet someone tonight.
I’m seeking some kind of close connection with friendship being the main thing, however, I’m definitely open to things getting a bit spicier than that, whether that’s something where we remain friends yet can be flirty or romantic such as a friend with benefits for example.
I like to say upfront that I will always be mindful and considerate of your feelings and boundaries, especially concerning anything flirty or more intimate that we might get into. It’s important to me and we’d never have to do anything we weren’t comfortable with or ready for.
Physically I'm 6ft tall, I'm average/slim build, and I'm white/Caucasian with hazel eyes and dark brown hair. I wear glasses too. There’s a picture or two on my profile.
I don’t have any preference on body type for whom I find attractive. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. I’m also attracted to people older than me as well, hence being so open to meeting people.
I’m currently living at home, trying to get a job at a warehouse but long term career goals so far is to do something in the electrical field/trades such as a fire alarm systems technician as I’m good with technical things like that. I’ve got older parents and I live on a main road in a small farm house so I’ve been feeling pretty lonely most of my life. I’ve listed some interests of mine below!
Now that we've established who I am and what I'm looking for, here are a few interests of mine to get to know me better!
• Fall/Autumn season
I had to list this one because I just adore the fall and everything that comes with it. My birthday is in October too so it's always been my favorite month. I much prefer fall and winter over a muggy humid summer. In the cooler seasons there's always ways to warm up.
• Candles and Incense
I love candles and incense and stuff like this!! I feel like you don't find guys into this stuff that much but I definitely am an exception.
• Technology
I'm good at fixing electronics and I'm quite nerdy in that aspect. So if something breaks I can fix it ;) I'm also good with my hands and quite inclined mechanically and quite the nerd.
• Music
I love genres such as classic rock, alternative rock, psychedelic rock, gothic rock, heavy metal, punk, post punk, hardcore, etc. My current favorite bands are The Cure and Joy Division/New Order. But I like tons of older and newer bands as well. such as: Bauhaus, Velvet Underground, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Type O Negative, Nirvana, Rush, Pink Floyd, Janis Joplin, the Wipers, Spacemen 3, Meshuggah, Megadeth, Buzzcocks, MC5, Stooges, 13th Floor Elevators, Screaming Trees, Green Day, Alice in Chains, Asylum Party, My Bloody Valentine, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, Jefferson Airplane, etc.
• Cooking and Baking
I like to cook and learn new recipes, as well as bake fun things too! It's always nice when the house feels nice and cozy and smells good. I appreciate the simple pleasures in life, a cozy cup of tea and music or a movie in bed or sitting outside is so nice! I believe in veganism and I've been trying to become more vegan lately in what I eat.
• Animals
I love animals of all types, and I currently have an older cat which I adore to death! We rescued her from the local shelter. She's the sweetest thing. (I think I love her more than anyone in the house lol, she just makes me so happy) :) I also don't kill insects or bugs, I catch and release them outside.
• Art
I enjoy art, both creating it from time to time such as drawing, and admiring other peoples work. There's just something so fun about it and seeing things so beautiful.
• Houseplants
I love houseplants and really anything nature related and also spiritual such as crystals and rocks. I love to help my mom in caring for all of our plants and also gardening outside when its a good growing season. Its fun! I also like cottage core and goblin core type vibes and enjoy sitting out on the deck burning incense, its peaceful :)
• Photography
I recently got a DSLR camera, a Nikon D5500 and a D200 and I've really been enjoying taking photos of my cat and nature landscapes! This includes closeups, photos of trees, the fields, etc. I've been working a lot on composition, long exposures, getting nice blurred backgrounds, depth of field, etc. It's interesting to me.
That’s me! I hope you get a good taste of what I am like and if any of this catches your interest I’d love to hear from you and we can get to know each other further. Thanks for taking the time to read my post, hope to hear from you soon.

I am SCREAMING and no one hears me. I sob, constantly. I can’t deal with these lows anymore. It’s like everything crashed at once and I’m too shook to even pick up the pieces. I crave peace. Comfort in any way. All I do is cry to myself. I did everything I could to fix this. Medication, therapy and so much more. And yet the water is rising. Still.

Good Morning -
Here's your weekly compilation of the Best Articles, Videos and Podcasts related to Investing, Personal Finance and Lifestyle that the Web has to offer, including:
Invest Wisely

• Lump Sum vs. DCA - Why a lump-sum strategy makes sense for most investors
• Handpicked selection of the best equity ETFs
• Building an inflation fighting portfolio
• Some thoughts about equal-weight ETFs
• The wrong arguments against International Diversification
• How to explain to your kid what a bank run is?
• The Regulatory Blunder That Gave Us the Silicon Valley Bank Disaster

Active Investing

• Trend following: The proof is in the track record
• Howard Marks on calling the market
• Private Equity’s Other Illiquidity Premium
• Are defined outcome ETFs worth it?
• In conversation with Cliff Asness on Quant Value Investing
• Pockets of the commercial real estate market — which is worth around $20 trillion — are showing cracks as well
• What the dramatic boom in zero day options means for stocks?

Design Your Lifestyle

• What is financial freedom? It’s the freedom to live the way you want to live
• Rules of the money game
• 6 simple stoic lessons to feel more peace
• Why “Everyone Has the Same 24 Hours” Is Not a Good Way to Think About Time Management
• New Neuroscience Reveals 6 Secrets That Will Increase Your Attention Span
• How GPT-4 is an improvement on GPT
• Good news: ChatGPT would probably fail a CFA exam
• Slovenia: Switzerland without the lavish price tag
• What YouTube hustle gurus are really selling you
• UK: How Jeremy Hunt’s tax and spending plans will affect your personal finances?

And much more.
Have a good weekend,
Raph

Good Morning -
Here's your weekly compilation of the Best Articles, Videos and Podcasts related to Investing, Personal Finance and Lifestyle that the Web has to offer, including:
Invest Wisely

• Lump Sum vs. DCA - Why a lump-sum strategy makes sense for most investors
• Handpicked selection of the best equity ETFs
• Building an inflation fighting portfolio
• Some thoughts about equal-weight ETFs
• The wrong arguments against International Diversification
• How to explain to your kid what a bank run is?
• The Regulatory Blunder That Gave Us the Silicon Valley Bank Disaster

Active Investing

• Trend following: The proof is in the track record
• Howard Marks on calling the market
• Private Equity’s Other Illiquidity Premium
• Are defined outcome ETFs worth it?
• In conversation with Cliff Asness on Quant Value Investing
• Pockets of the commercial real estate market — which is worth around $20 trillion — are showing cracks as well
• What the dramatic boom in zero day options means for stocks?

Design Your Lifestyle

• What is financial freedom? It’s the freedom to live the way you want to live
• Rules of the money game
• 6 simple stoic lessons to feel more peace
• Why “Everyone Has the Same 24 Hours” Is Not a Good Way to Think About Time Management
• New Neuroscience Reveals 6 Secrets That Will Increase Your Attention Span
• How GPT-4 is an improvement on GPT
• Good news: ChatGPT would probably fail a CFA exam
• Slovenia: Switzerland without the lavish price tag
• What YouTube hustle gurus are really selling you
• UK: How Jeremy Hunt’s tax and spending plans will affect your personal finances?

And much more.
Have a good weekend,
Raph

Good Morning -
Here's your weekly compilation of the Best Articles, Videos and Podcasts related to Investing, Personal Finance and Lifestyle that the Web has to offer, including:

Invest Wisely

• Lump Sum vs. DCA - Why a lump-sum strategy makes sense for most investors
• Handpicked selection of the best equity ETFs
• Building an inflation fighting portfolio
• Some thoughts about equal-weight ETFs
• The wrong arguments against International Diversification
• How to explain to your kid what a bank run is?
• The Regulatory Blunder That Gave Us the Silicon Valley Bank Disaster

Active Investing

• Trend following: The proof is in the track record
• Howard Marks on calling the market
• Private Equity’s Other Illiquidity Premium
• Are defined outcome ETFs worth it?
• In conversation with Cliff Asness on Quant Value Investing
• Pockets of the commercial real estate market — which is worth around $20 trillion — are showing cracks as well
• What the dramatic boom in zero day options means for stocks?

Design Your Lifestyle

• What is financial freedom? It’s the freedom to live the way you want to live
• Rules of the money game
• 6 simple stoic lessons to feel more peace
• Why “Everyone Has the Same 24 Hours” Is Not a Good Way to Think About Time Management
• New Neuroscience Reveals 6 Secrets That Will Increase Your Attention Span
• How GPT-4 is an improvement on GPT
• Good news: ChatGPT would probably fail a CFA exam
• Slovenia: Switzerland without the lavish price tag
• What YouTube hustle gurus are really selling you
• UK: How Jeremy Hunt’s tax and spending plans will affect your personal finances?

And much more.
Have a good weekend,
Raph

It’s been a long time since I updated this!
I hope you enjoy!
————————————
Memory Transcription Subject: Tarlim, venlil civilian
Date: [Standardized human time] August 17th, 2136
My blinds flew up letting the light of our star fall onto an empty bed. Ha, missed me! I woke up early on my own!
Anyway, what I packed should be good for the time on the station.
My pad sounded with a message.
“Ah’ve decided! Ah shall be wearing a space suit!”
My tail wagged as I exited my apartment. His accent is starting to break through the translator, poor thing. “Oh really? And what led to that decision?”
“Ah am going into space, to meet an alien race in person, while on an alien space station. Me wearing a space suit is just as natural to me as water flowing down a hill. It simply MUST happen! I’ve already sent my measurements to a suit printer, so it should be ready by tonight! When you get to the station, just look for the crazy guy in a blue space suit with my state flag on the chest.”
“Shall I expect a ‘ten gallon’ to be included in this outfit?”
“You are absolutely teasing. Ah’m representing! Not stereotyping. Still, I wish you luck on your registration!”
My tail wagged as I tucked my data pad into my shoulder pack.
<<>>
By the gods, there were so many more people around than there were on my last trip! I hadn’t been here since my last medicine refill. In fact, I would say thar are more than even before the humans made contact!
Thar? By the gods, Jacob is right. The infection is spreading!
I had already refilled my meds. Now for something special. Very special. The next Claw of the day shall be spent at the Fur Salon!
Paly’s Fur Salon.
I ducked into the building and my eyes landed on the light brown Paltan chasing after the grey Venlil she’d been working on. That girl is quite persistent in keeping away from her. Wait, is she trying to?
She is!
“STOP HER!” The Paltan yelled, “She hasn’t PAID!!”
As the dasher tried to spring past me out the door, I quickly grabbed her tail. A bit of a improper action under normal circumstances, but the glares being directly toward the dasher suggested it was deserved.
The Paltan ran up. “She’s been complaining the whole appointment about this not being worth the price, and I KNOW you are not worth a Stampede!” Her tail waved a greeting, “Hello Tarlim.”
I returned the gesture. “Hello Paly.”
Paly the Paltan. I could guarantee there were none in the Galaxy as skilled in fur care as her. Got herself styled so her fur is in flowing braids. Looks like a field of grain. An angry field at that as she lectures the dasher and forces him to scan his print for payment. I had been tuning out the words as it wasn’t mine to listen to, but the look of renewed fury on Paly as she marched away got my attention again.
Paly returned with an electric fur clipper in her paws. Her other employees and customers were staring at her in expectant amusement. “Hold her still.”
The dasher whimpered.
As she cut away, we conversed about how our lives were going. Play was ecstatic to hear that I was meeting a human. She mused about how humans cared for their small patches of hair.
As Paly finished cutting the last bits, I couldn’t help but serve a sour drink to the dasher. “Oh, and by the way, I shall be paying for Full Care up front! I insist!”
Play’s tail eagerly wagged. “How generous of you! So good to have such considerate customers!” She shut off her clippers, “Before we start, would you mind tossing out the garbage?”
“Oh, certainly madam!” I exclaimed with exaggerated politeness.
Upon the streets of the Dawn Creek commercial district, a rare creature appeared. Built like a Venlil but nary a scrap of fur upon them. It had been ages since one was last seen, and many a Venlil would be eager for a picture as proof of the sighting.
Paly turned to the employee collecting their client’s payment, “Maslel! Come help me clear a space for the big table!”
“Yes, Madam Paly!”
I handed my pad to Paly as I sat on the table to remove my braces. She looked confused at my pad being ready to submit payment. “What is this for?”
“I was not joking when I said I would pay up front.”
“I thank you for your generosity.”She said smiling. “By the time we’re done, your fur shall shine in the dark and be so soft the clouds will weep with envy!”
With that, she picked up a sprayer and began to douse my fur. Oh, for a working man to live in the lap of Luxury! The washing, the combing, the different shampoo, conditioners, and oils for the different parts of my fur! Before I knew it, it was almost over.
“We’re just about done! Boys!” She called over to her employees, “grab some dryers!”
Once the dryers were done, Paly began the final brushing to smooth out my fur. Making sure my head and chest properly flowed, bringing my tail pomf to a proper tip, just the final touches. Once done, I was wheeled to face the mirror with a “And we are done!”
Who was this Venlil in the mirror? Their coat was as black as Darkside cloud, yet it seemed to shine nonetheless. The fur seemed like a mane around their head with only a slight curl in the hairs giving it life. They were strong, they were confident.
They were me!!!
“It’s… it’s amazing.” I nearly whimpered.
“Oh, I did my-“ Paly didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence as I scooped her into a hug and a torrent of thankful words flowed out of me. She gave my snout a rub and silently berated me for smushing my hair. “I am glad you approve. I hope you take care,” she said one I put her down.
“I will,” I replied, putting my leg braces back in place. Their light blue looks nice against my leg fur. “I will be certain to ask the humans what their fur care is like.”
“Tarlim, you are too kind.”
I wagged my tail as I gathered the rest of my things. All that was left was to report to the Magistrate.
Previous

2181 – 09:17, Wednesday, January 17th –Agora of the Asari People- Serrice City - Thessia – Parnithia System
"It's done," said Nari in a faint croaking voice as she took a few shaky steps back from her magnum opus – a mural that depicted horror yet hope in the image.
"Easy there Nari," said Sam'nelea gently as she caught the exhausted artist in her arms. Mayises and Miretse rushed up and helped Sam'nelea carry Nari to a chair, giving her a bottle of energy drink so the exhausted artist could at least rehydrate.
"So it is finished Colonel T'goos?," asked Matriarch Seucsha T'sola as she called from behind the barrier that shielded the work from viewing.
"Yes Matriarch. Please, come and see Nari's masterpiece," replied Sam'nelea as she held Nari's head so that the shattered artist could drink.
Mayises was holding the bottle for Nari who swallowed greedily at the nourishing refreshing liquid. She had worked almost 18 hours a day on the mural, only stopping to rest when Sam'nelea forced her to. Even then it was barely enough yet Nari found an inner strength that Sam'nelea and her commandos could but only admire at the artists determination to complete this work.
Matriarch Seucsha T'sola of Serrice had also deployed her commandos to guard Nari and her work. The Serricean matriarch had seen the images of the horror under Fortress T'reaphia and was physically sick afterwards. Nothing like this had ever been seen on Thessia… ever. Asari had a dark side, that was undisputable but this… this was pure evil.
"Dear goddess!" she gasped as she and her senior officers came around the corner and saw the mural. There was cries of shock, anger, revulsion, despair and sadness from all when they saw what Nari had painted. Nari had also carved in bright red sandstone that sat above the mural, the High Thessian pictograms for the words: NEVER FORGET!
Sam'nelea surveyed the artwork with a studious glance. She could see that Nari had been heavily influenced by human art, so very obviously in this case as Nari's mural was a homage to both Picassos "Guernica" and Munch's "The Scream" but balanced by Van Gogh's "Starry Night" for the idea that hope still existed.
Sam'nelea had seen those artworks herself on Earth and was deeply moved by them and appreciated what Nari had incorporated into her mural.
Duncan's influence was evident for those who knew the friendship between the artist and the man who lived twice. The Commando officer was aware of that he had been showing Nari the best of human art.
"What a lurid, emotive, extremely confronting work," murmured Matriarch T'sola as she stared at it awestruck. A tear of empathy had trickled down her flawless lavender cheek. "This will be a testament as long as the Agora of the People stands." Her officers nodded in assent, too moved to speak themselves. "Did you see it, Sam?" she asked quietly.
"No matriarch and I thank all the deities and the universe that I didn't. I saw some of the footage that my matriarch displayed to all of you. That was enough. Even now, the Acolytes and house troopers who were there are still undergoing mental therapy for the trauma they were exposed to."
"And your War Artist? Will she be whole again?" the matriarch inquired with compassion for Nari in her eyes.
"I believe, no… I know she will be fine. Nari is one of the strongest Asari I have met. Her mental drive and fortitude allowed her to produce this masterwork in just over ten days. She barely slept and only rested, ate and drank when I forced her too. Look, she has passed out from exhaustion," said Sam'nelea with a sad resonate tone with deep sympathy in her eyes for her new friend. "She is a true hero of the Asari People matriarch. Not one of valour and great deeds of action, but of her strength of spirit and her artist talent. Let that be known in Serrice."
The Serricean matriarch nodded in total agreement.
"Her work will last for all time. Go home Sam. You, Nari and your commandos have done enough. I will post guards here on permanent duty. Fiahnni can send some across to be part of the guard who protect this… lesson to us all. We will invite other matriarchs to send their house troops to become a part of the detachment. I will house and feed them all. This will be a sacred duty, separate from being guards here at the Agora. This will be our privilege and duty to all the Asari people."
Matriarch Seucsha T'sola nodded once more to herself, knowing that only just over half of the republics would contribute troops to this force. The others like the Armali would prevaricate and dither, ultimately sending nothing which in all honestly, she was fine with. Less in the end for her to pay for and more glory to those that did contribute.
"As you command matriarch and thank you for all you support and aid. It is greatly appreciated." Sam'nelea gestured to her commando lieutenants and bring Nari's sleeping form with them. "I need to see my daughters and husband," she said tiredly.
Matriarch T'sola gave the Colonel at questioning look.
"I must ask Sam… what is it like being loved by a human male? I truly wish to know as I am considering my…options for a new partner."
Sam'nelea paused for a moment and thought about how to respond.
"Matriarch… I cannot answer that with any real ease in such a short space of time. All I can say is that Phillipe completes me. I met him almost twenty years ago and have never found a more loving, wonderful soul to share my life with and have daughters by. I wish Tevura's blessing upon you if you truly wish to find love with a man. It is challenging as you would understand yet… so rewarding as well once you have melded and know beyond any doubt that he is yours and you are his. I love him with every fibre of my being. We are one. Now… I should go," she said with a sigh as thoughts of her beloved husband threatened to engulf her.
"Be at peace Sam and Athame bless you," replied Matriarch T'sola with a soft smile as she considered Sam'nelea's words very carefully.
Sam'nelea, along with Dr Hethy and a few hundred others were some of the originals who bonded with humans. They were not the first but still, those individuals who in 2161, formed a coterie of Asari which became bonded to humans that year, changing Asari society forever. She vaguely recalled that one of her own junior clerical diplomats based at the Citadel bonded with a famous human male artist yet she couldn't recall their names off hand. No matter, the unions that worked were true examples of love crossing cultural and species lines. Fiahnni was right, Humanity and Asari would be one people in the end.
Seucsha signalled to her senior officers and Acolytes, that they take over from the departing T'daari forces. She also began considering her options of looking for a potential consort from the pool of humanity. The matriarch needed someone she could confide in, who would hold and love her in the dark of the night. She felt too lonely these days and taking an Acolyte to her bed had lost its allure as it was just sex for sex's sake, nothing more. Seucsha needed companionship more than ever after seeing Nari's work. The matriarch made up her mind, she would find her Siame in humanity.
Maybe a young man like the musical Maestro Matriarch Jami Sibeyr had found with her young human Siame? she considered.
Seucsha decided that she needed to speak with the Maestro to gain more insight. She concluded that a young man would last the time with her for her remaining years, they would grow old together which was a great comfort to her as the thought of outliving another bondmate would be too much for her to bare. The matriarch mused to herself that she might even have another daughter with him. They could at least try, after all Benezia T'Soni had her little Liara only eighty or so years ago. That had been the subject of much gossip within the conclave of matriarchs.
She turned away and began humming the maestro's beautifully soaring piece to herself. "A Love Song for Humanity" which was universally recognised as one of the greatest pieces of Asari music which had been created in generations. Now she began to see why, as she reflected upon what she had observed of Fiahnni's daughters and their relationship with Duncan Larkin.
Pity he was taken, she thought to herself as she left the building to board her waiting air-transporter, he would have made an excellent bondmate and consort.
The gull wing doors of her vehicle closed and as she was whisked away into the busy sky. She sat back into the plush soft leather seats and began opening the Matchmaking site, "Blue to Hue" on her datapad.
What charmed her the most, making her laugh and dispelling the awful visions of the horror that Nari had depicted, was that a classic human song started playing as soon as the Extranet site opened up on her data pad. She knew of this song and smiled widely in approval.
Queen's "Somebody to Love" was a perfect complement for the matchmaking site.
The 894 year old matriarch now began examining the hundreds of thousands of hopeful men who had listed themselves and had been ever so carefully screened as potential bondmates to Asari by the managers of the matchmaking site.
She had time and options and she was now looking forwards to Fiahnni's daughter's fashion show.
So much fun to be had!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2181 – Friday - January 19 – 19:30 – Lyriania's Memorial Amphitheatre – Dassus City
Lileah'sah peeked out from behind the huge gauze stage curtain, over the massive crowd that had filled the amphitheatre with pride and amazement.
"I still can't believe it," she said quietly to Duncan as they observed the full venue from the wings of the stage.
He held her in front of him, his arms wrapping over hers, around her waist and linking over her belly comfortably. She loved that. Turning her head, she laid her left cheek against his chest so as not to poke him with the tendrils of her crest. It was the only thing she thought that humans had as a minor physical advantage over Asari, they had no crest at the back of their heads that could get in the way of things.
"Believe it my love. Our terrific Tre'mete has done it. Tonight is going to make her a legend. She deserves this."
Lileah'sah turned in his arms and looked up at him with a hint of self-doubt in her eyes.
"I know. Although a part of me feels shame Duncan. I should have done this decades ago for her yet I didn't. I was a selfish, self-centred, spoilt stupid maiden, too wrapped up in her own Varen-shit to do the right thing by the one who had always loved me for who I was. Tre'mete only ever wanted me to love her. You did this for her, not me," she said with a heavy sigh and laid her head back on his chest once more.
Duncan cuddled her tenderly.
"Hey there sweetness, you have helped our crazy mad amazing seamstress and bondmate. You have been her tower of strength through this. You have been at her side all the way, helping her with the business side of things. She couldn't have done this without you. Yes I have been the catalyst that brought this into existence but you my magnificent, musical healer, you were the one who made it all happen. Tre' would have been lost without your family connections. No one would have taken her seriously if not for you going to all those meetings with her. Now she is on the cusp of her triumph and we will celebrate like never before. Look, all our family are here, all our friends too. Tre'mete has worked herself hard and I think it was a stroke of genius that she got everyone in the crew, plus our friends children to be models for her garments tonight."
"Again you are correct my dearest darling man. Their Aretḗ is going to only soar after tonight. And Chianay and Elanini… goddess… I would never have thought that my beloved cousins would be fashion models," she giggled lightly.
It had taken the trio plus Chianay and Ray a lot of diligent work to finally persuade the shy, bookish Intelligence Analyst to model some of Tre'mete's clothing tonight. Elanini would be modelling the more demure and reserved lines of garments that Tre'mete had designed, clothing suited for Asari of Elanini's demeanour. The normally quiet Asari was now abuzz with excitement and nervous energy. Ray spoke to her in her aural bud.
"Remember Ela', you are beautiful, powerful and strong. All eyes will be on you but you will see none as you will be bathed in glorious light. Consider this a simple walk in the sunshine wearing fine clothing that your cousin has made for you."
"Thank you Ray. I am glad you are with me. I couldn't have done this without you."
"You are my family Ela' and my friend and I will do anything for you," said Ray humbly and meant every word.
Elanini blew a gentle kiss to one of the security cameras, knowing that Ray was watching her like a guardian angel. Chianay hugged her younger sister in a sign of affectionate support.
The AI along with Luenthvi were the masters behind the curtain, controlling all aspects of the upcoming show. Luenthvi was in the control room supervising the sound and lighting engineers and technicians in conjunction with Ray. Both Asari and AI had planned everything down to the last detail with Tre'mete, leaving nothing to chance. She got the two minute signal.
"Alright everyone, game faces on, it's showtime!" she said in a quiet yet commanding voice.
The Asari engineers and technicians nodded and began their final prechecks of all the systems.
A few minutes earlier, Fiahnni, Aenthiah and Raquelia, the family and close friends had been the last to enter the amphitheatre. A soaring glorious composition of human music rang out as the trio of Asari gracefully made their way through the building. Fiahnni had fallen in love with Händel's "Messiah" recently and shamelessly appropriated various pieces from the opera for herself. Her people loved it.
Jonah, Lomu, Di'naka and Nyanyzia flanked the Grand Matriarch, Fiahnni and Aenthiah. All the bodyguards resplendent in gleaming ceremonial yet fully functional battle armour.
Drokk led them all.
The Battlemaster's face was a picture of serenity as he quietly basked in the triumph of his clan. Krogan were ascendant, well at least in the republic of Dassus and only his clan but details, details he thought to himself with a gleeful inner smile. It was a start he mused to himself.
A storm of applause went up for the Grand Matriarch and Fiahnni, with people rising to their seats and cheering. They all knew what had happened two weeks prior; that the T'daari had shielded the people of Dassus from harm, had struck back at their hated enemies and triumphed, liberating the republic of Ulee from tyranny and returned it back to the rule of the people, by the people for the people. These were deeds worthy of song and celebration.
Fiahnni and Raquelia waved and smiled to their people who roared back with approval.
Behind them walked Kash'shara and Tito with Mirey and Hiroko by their sides. The rest of the family followed including Chianay and Elanini's mother, Sister Shaellei T'daari as well as other lesser relatives of the clan. Behind them came the human families as well as the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland, with the senior Acolytes and staff of House T'daari bringing up the end of the procession.
There was a mild degree of puzzlement in the crowd as they wondered amongst themselves where Lileah'sah and Duncan were and why they were not walking with the first family of Dassus? The reason, only known to the immediate family, was that Duncan had insisted that the couple didn't as he wanted the family to receive the ovation, not him. Also Lileah'sah and he were to open the show with some words of welcome to the audience.
Lileah'sah, while wanting him to be cheered, understood. In many ways such public ovations actually embarrassed Duncan. He almost hated them and avoided them as much as he could. It was enough for him to have done good for no acknowledgement as he followed the teachings of Marcus Aurelias in that fashion as best he could.
"We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne." - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book Five
Lileah'sah now embraced that maxim for herself. Tre'mete was still on her journey in this regard yet Duncan and herself knew their bondmate would get there soon enough.
Everyone now settled in their seats and the murmuring of the crowd died down.
The lights dimmed down to nothing, blackness engulfing the massive space with only the safety lights running along the stairways visible.
"It's time love," whispered Duncan as he took her left hand in his right. She nodded, gave his hand a squeeze and led him out.
They followed the faint light trail out onto the stage and made their way to their mark.
The spotlights came on a few seconds later, bathing the couple in a soft warm glow rather than a harsh bright white light.
"Good eve to you all, distinguished matriarchs, Justicars, honoured guests and gentle beings and welcome one and all. Tonight you are going to witness a watershed moment in Asari society. Tre'mete Lira, my best friend, my darling lover, my bond and soul mate has been inspired to follow her dream by my other magnificent bond and soul mate, Duncan Larkin. He has given her the wings in which she now will soar with. I present to you all, the first ever collection from Saucy Secrets. Thank you."
Lileah'sah bowed her head while Duncan just nodded briefly to the applause from the audience.
The lights dimmed again as the couple left the stage and went back to the wings.
The stage had been configured to be a massive runway, twenty meters in length and four meters wide, running into the heart of the audience. Lights appeared around the edge of the stage as the main gauze curtain rose.
The raising curtain revealed a full traditional thirty three member Asari orchestra, standing ready behind their ancient traditional Gal'lungael percussion instruments and drums.
Smoke machine expelled their scented, fragrant contents into the air and tiny particles of glitter fell from the domed ceiling, creating a myriad of sparkling motes of light that dazzled the senses.
The music started.
A resoundingly massive explosive thunderclap initially startled the audience was immediately followed by an ancient time-honoured piece of Asari ageless battle music which opened the show.
The drumming and rhythmical percussion started, the Asari musicians all acting in perfect harmony as they expertly pounded out the ancient song on their traditional instruments and drums. Blue Biotic auras flared up from the Asari musicians as they merged their fields with the instruments, creating intricate resonating cascades of interweaving harmonics.
The Asari orchestra then chanted out the archaic words, lifted together in glorious song:
"We are here, We are alive, We exist, We are One!".
All Asari knew this piece as it was timeless, a musical racial memory that reached back into their mists of their distant past, passed down from mother to daughter, generation to generation, yay unto the very first Asari who could remember who she was.
It was burned into the very DNA and souls of the Asari people.
All the Asari in the amphitheatre instinctively sang at the top of their voices, joining in the ancient song unconsciously. The Asari joyously sang out loudly and passionately, feeling the moment and its significance upon them.
This was the ultimate signifier of change, of death and rebirth, the end of old things, the dying of the light and the dawn of the beginning of new ideas.
The future is always born in conflict and pain. Change is inevitable.
Tre'mete was creating a massive statement to her people, the times were indeed "a changing".
The song concluded with a finale crescendo that resonated hugely within the amphitheatre.
As soon as the piece had finished, the spectators thundered out with massive approval, standing, cheering, clapping and shouting as this had not been performed in living memory to a live audience. And not a single garment had been displayed yet.
The lights dimmed once more and the audience settled back into their seats, all abuzz now as this was not your usual fashion show. This was art.
A new, more modern composition of Asari music began, starting softly yet building up, swelling with intensity and passion.
The lights focused on the stage and out strode a supremely confident Olivia McAlpine, dressed impeccably in an amazing ensemble that shouted style, elegance, charm and suitability for a young teenage maiden Asari.
Olivia was followed by her faithful companion Zara Wattling then Eliza Percy and finally Sam'nelea's daughters Gabriella and Triana Aguilar. All the Asari teenagers beamed their dazzling smiles to the roar of approval of the crowd as they strode down the runway. Already Asari matrons in the audience and those watching live began to place orders for these clothes for their young daughters as the garments looked so lovely yet sturdy and comfortable, perfect for a growing young Asari.
The teens paraded down the runway, stepping in time to the soaring music. Each stopped at the end, striking a series of poses before sauntering back to the stage as though it was just another day walking in the park.
The music shifted into a more militaristic themed tune.
Tre'mete had asked her comrades from the Perihelion if they would model for her. All stepped forward without a moment of hesitation.
Lead proudly by Captain Eshess, the elite crew marched out to the deafening hailing of the audience. New ceremonial parade uniforms for the Dassus Navy were on display and by the goddess they looked good was the consensus. Tre'mete came up with this herself as she knew that military contracts were always a big money earner. She would win it on merit, not her family connections. Tre'mete knew that her fellow commandos and Navy personnel would clamour for these new uniforms.
The crew all marched casually, with smiles all alight on their beautiful faces, waving to the cheering crowd. They looked magnificent as they filed down the runway.
As the last crew member departed the stage, new music followed the last piece.
Stepping into the light came Icilea and Heretonia, hand in hand with Pania Paewai and Emily Percy, Human and Turian together, an unmistakable symbol of the end of the enmity and the beginning of deep and enduring friendship between the species.
A huge roar of approval went up from everyone in the amphitheatre. A masterstroke of galactical political genius by Tre'mete and the T'daari family. An emblem of harmony and reconciliation which would hopefully resonate beyond Thessia.
The Turian females wore long elegant blue and silver gowns that perfectly suited their body structure and morphology while the young human women were clothed in similar Thessian Glitterwing black silk ball gowns, yet theirs were cut with plunging necklines and slit just enough on one side to reveal their shapely, long legs much to the salacious delight of all the Asari watching.
The four graceful beings made their way down the runway, gently waving and smiling to the audience who lustily cheered them on. Orders from the hundreds of thousands of Turian females who had made their home on Thessia began flowing in as well as the tens of thousands of human women watching who were also Thessian citizens, both species bonded to Asari.
Tre'mete, who was watching from the wings, saw on her data pad the stream of tens of thousands of orders which were flooding Saucy Secret's Extranet site.
She, Ray and Duncan had planned for this. Ray had networks of extra server farms to handle the deluge of incoming traffic. If they hadn't have done this, the whole site would have crashed leaving tens of thousands of potential customers angry and upset.
The brawny commando felt her bondmates gather her in their arms and she sighed with a blissful exhalation. This was what she had always dreamed of; her creations being something that people wanted to buy. And the love of her bondmates surrounding her was mana from the heavens.
Tre'mete had made it.
"I will always love you Tre'mete," said Duncan in her aural canal on her right side while Lileah'sah had to briefly ignite her lifting field to rise a few inches to be on the level of Tre'mete's left side aural canal.
"You will always be my heart Tre' my love," she whispered as they both embraced the muscular Asari.
Tre'mete closed her eyes and held back her tears of pure joy as she couldn't afford to have her make up ruined by streaks of tears.
"We are One," was all she could say back to them. Her bondmates lightly kissed her cheeks then laced their arms around Tre'mete's waist, the triad standing together, loving, indivisible and resolute, watching the show they had planned together over the past few weeks unfold.
The Turians and human females made their way back to the stage as the music switched into something that almost no one in the amphitheatre had ever heard before.
A driving electronic tune that had an incredible melody and kick ass back beat.
Olivia walked back out onto the runway after her and her companions had quickly changed, leading them once more, her confident radiant smile beaming for all to see. The Asari teenagers danced up the runway, skipping and twirling to this thumping surging electronica track. The audience took up the beat and started clapping in time with it. Many were inspired to stand up to dance to the music. Soon almost all in the amphitheatre were dancing.
The teens were dressed in chic and classy tunics and pants, each in a different arrangement and colour. Again, Asari mothers with young daughters nodded with approval and clicked the order button on their Omnitools and data pads. This was exactly what young Asari needed. The style was fashionable, and multi-purpose as it could be for formal occasions or everyday wear.
The music was replaced by a banging piece of electro-swing that made everyone's open eyes wide as this tune just rocked.
The Perihelion crew then sauntered out, dancing merrily to the music while the teens were still dancing out the front. Tre'mete had chosen to emulate classic human styles in the line up and had dressed her crew mates in garments that were inspired by 1920's fashions. Light silk knee length silken Flapper dresses with dozens of thin tassels scintillatingly shimmered and shined gloriously as the crew sashayed down the runway. Her choice of style and music massively gingered up the already excited crowd.
This wasn't art anymore, this was an EVENT!
Asari worldwide got their first taste of electro-swing music, loving the infectious melody and driving danceable beats as they watched the crew and the teens now Jive and Lindy Hop with each other on the stage. The Asari on the stage and runway used their biotics and lifted one another as they spun and twirled in time to the incredible rhythm.
The crowd went wild with cheering and tried to follow this phenomenal new style of dancing. Maidens globally and beyond into the Asari colonies, opened up Human Extranet pages, madly searching for lessons and examples on how to dance like this.
Olivia led her companions back through the dancing crew, waving to the cheers of the crowd.
Aenthiah watched her ward, her heart nearly bursting with pride. She sat with her own daughter, holding her hand, both of them totally transfixed by the sensational spectacle unfolding before them.
"Mother, she is incredible," said Lysila into Aenthiah's aural canal over the noise of the crowd and music. The Asari was most impressed with Matriarch Ruto's granddaughter and had recently heard the dramatic story of how Olivia and her two friends had defeated six commandos in hand to hand combat thanks to the training given by her mother to the teenagers.
"As are you my most precious child," responded Aenthiah with love in her eyes.
The Justicar was thrilled that Lysila had excepted her invitation to attend the show. That Lysila came at all was a minor miracle as she often avoided meeting her mother, the galactically famous Justicar, as she was completely against violence in all its forms although she did approve of Olivia's act of self-defence and understood what Aenthiah had committed herself to. She reached out and took Aenthiah's hand in hers and gently squeezed. A stone melted in the Justicar's heart as mother and daughter sat and enjoyed the amazing event together.
The lights dimmed once more and a new style of music began. A thumping base line with a loud high hat four four drum beat. The lights came back on.
Icilea, Heretonia, Emily and Pania strutted back onto the stage, this time dressed in very revealing underwear. The audience gasps them roared out their approval as they now examined what the four females were wearing. Saucy Secrets was now a legend in fashion as Tre'mete knew exactly what would suit humans and Turian females.
The four females had sultry, saucy wiggle in their hips as the seductively wandered down the runway. The crowd now heard a growly human voice begin to speak over the music as the four danced in a semi erotic fashion. The lights seemed to dim as the man continued to speak.
"There's so many things I like about you,
I just don't know where to begin,
I like the way you, look at me with those beautiful eyes,
I like the way you, act all surprised,
I like the way you, sing along,
I like the way you, always get it wrong,
I like the way you, clap your hands,
I like the way you, love to dance,
I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,
I like the way you, shake your hair,
I like the way you, like to touch,
I like the way you, stare so much,
But most of all...
Yeah.
Most of all..."
The music built to a rising crescendo, then the beat dropped and out stepped Chianay and Elanini.
I like the way you move...
[Songwriters: Christopher James Karyotakis / Dylan Burns]
The crowd went mental as the gorgeously stunning sisters strode and strutted down the stage together, the epitome of Asari beauty on glorious display. Never before had a consort deigned to be a fashion model yet this was perfection.
Once the initial sensation had passed the audience focused on what the sisters were wearing.
Mouths were covered in shock and eyes widened hilarious amazement as they could clearly see on the enormous video screens which clearly displayed what Chianay and Elanini had on.
The pair were wearing a well cut lacey silk bra that had a pair of Blue hands printed on the front of the cups, seemingly holding the breasts within.
It was the underwear though that nearly caused a riot.
Both were wearing the panties that Duncan had come up with.
Stunning high cut panties cut in a thong style, both silvery white in colour, covered in lots of little ice-cream cones with the logo printed boldly on the front in High Thessian saying,
"It's not going to lick itself!"
Pandemonium!
Laughter, incredulous screaming, raucous cheering and furious applause erupted from the crowd.
Lysila sat stunned, wide eyed while Aenthiah just smirked to herself as she knew what the crowning moment of the show would be as she had regularly melded with Duncan, both of them sharing their thoughts and experiences. She knew how his incredibly cheeky and mischievous mind worked. And she knew Tre'mete would have nearly wet herself laughing when he told her of this idea.
The Justicar glanced across to her left and saw her faithful Acolyte Saendi howling with laughter as were other members of the T'daari family. Raquelia was gently shaking her head but had a huge smile on her face. Fiahnni was cackling like a lunatic. Kash'shara was totally gobsmacked while Tito had fallen off his chair laughing in hysterics. Mirey and Hiroko were shrieking in convulsive giggles. The human families with their Asari partners that were now a part of the house of T'daari were howling with merriment at the audacity that Duncan and Tre'mete had gone with. Even Drokk and Fiahnni's bodyguards couldn't contain themselves. Aenthiah was heartened to see Nari and Lyessrae creased up laughing together at the ridiculously funny panties. She was especially amused to see Chianay and Elanini's mother, Sister Shaellei, guffawing loudly at the sight of her daughters wearing such lurid underwear.
The biggest joke in Asari history was an astoundingly enormous success.
Always make 'em laugh… thought Duncan as he hugged Tre'mete tightly while the trio watched from the wings.
The teenagers and crew came out, this time dressed in a combination of swimwear and casual attire, all now dancing to the ecstatic adulation of the audience who were all up and grooving away to the fantastic music being played.
The BodyRocker's song finally finished and all the models on stage turned and started to clap to welcome the true star of the show, Tre'mete.
Daft Punk's "One More Time" classic track started playing as Tre'mete, walked out leading her bondmates with her. A furious storm of applause and biotic Asari salutes resonated throughout the space.
There was no need for the audience to give a standing ovation as the entire amphitheatre were already on their feet dancing.
Tre'mete, radiant with a smile of quiet triumph, stepped forward letting go of her bondmates hands, took her bow and waved to the adulation of the crowd.
She had succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. Tre'mete turned and took her bondmates hands in hers and led them in bowing again to the audience and those watching from beyond. She could not have done this without them. Tre'mete shone with a biotic glow of pure happiness.
Saucy Secrets was a sensational stellar success.

Hi there,
I created this account specifically to say hello to all of you here. I'm not sure where to begin, so to just cut to the chase, I'm hoping somewhere out there might be able to point me in some sort of usable direction. I'd like to preface by saying I have absolutely taken the time to read and go through the pinned post and found it helpful, thank you.
​
To dive in and cut a lot of the fat away, I have had dreams about the dead since I was a small child. In the beginning they came on the day or shortly after they had passed. Then the long-dead started coming by either to chat or tell me something that later became true. More recently I have now begun having dreams about people before they pass- as if part of themself has already broken off and begun the journey out and beyond. So far those two times ended up being self-negligent or suicidal deaths- one I tried to prevent but could not find the person until it was too late, the other was of someone I knew *of* but did not know personally and I was surprised to hear about the passing. I have also shown up suddenly at funerals for acquaintances I had no idea had died- that was a bit of a shock.
Recently, after finally starting to talk about these things with one of my parents, I have found out that they, too, experienced strange things but in the form of active waking premonitions which they have since suppressed. I was told a story then about a great grandparent who was visited by their mother the night she died only to wake up in the morning and get the news. This same great grandparent, when my parent went to them for help, simply told them this all ran in the family and said nothing more about it. Not too long ago I discovered another family member who described experiencing things that were identical to my parent, and that their parent may also have it.
So far, barring my great grandparent, I am the only one who interacts with the dead. I used to get premonitions when I was younger but not anymore.
I lived in Japan for some time for unrelated reasons but while there learned a bit more about Shinto and Buddhism, although Shinto has become so commercialized in Japan and women so drastically pushed out of their roles by men that it rings a bit hollow these days in practice, even though the shrines and spaces are no less peacefully still and heavy.
To try and work out the what and the whys of what's been going on, I engaged with occult circles online to talk this or that thing out as things arose but nothing seemed to quite fit. A tone shift happened when, on a whim of a search, I found some old Korean ceremonial bells being sold off from some ex american soldier who had apparently picked them up during the war in the '50s. I can't say how or why, but those bells didn't want to be where they were, so I haggled and got them no contest and took them home. After doing a little research I found out that, in Korea at least, one of the ways shamans get given their great big neon sign that they've been picked out for shamanism is when they are called by the tools of a former shaman and can find where they are and, traditionally, dig them up from the ground. I did not dig the bells from the ground- it felt more like a rescue operation- but they are, for now, comfortably mine and it seems almost unusual that they are.
I am not Korean, and am more familiar with Japanese practices since living there for some years. But I put in the effort to pick up a few books and see what I could learn. I told myself I was doing it to better understand the object I had found, and a lot of what I read about was simultaneously familiar and entirely new, but learning about things like strange accidents (I have had a few), blocked success (my parent has apparently sworn off their abilities for years and years, and has not had a single break in their career for over 25 years and every marriage has failed despite them being a solid enough person), sudden incurable illnesses (I have had one for the past almost five years now) seemed to click into place in my brain. And now, too, I have begun to hit my own inexplicable blockages despite tremendous efforts.
After doing quite a bit of family history digging and paper trail following I have discovered a few things- my great grandparent comes from the same general area as the Star Carr site, and on the other side of my family, should one dig back far enough, there is a smattering of known shamans and seers, especially coming out of Central Asia, which was a major surprise.
To sum up this summary of the situation, these things are going on and I have no way to direct nor interact with them properly. Every attempt I have made to try and get some clue from ancestors, or anyone really, seems to get shut down. I currently only have western divination methods at my disposal and the message every time is essentially "Wrong, wrong, doing it wrong, we hate this, denied". I feel stuck in that, despite whatever there is that's being passed down in my family, the framework that would have supported it is either 1. gone and obliterated (thanks, rome), or 2. I am so culturally removed at this point that if I were to pivot to what's buried in the other side of my family yet still survives today, it would likely be culturally inappropriate or simply impossible for me to learn it.
So where do I go? The ancestors are there, clearly, and whatever has followed my family through the ages is there, but the context, everything else is either gone or unreachable. And yet, the spirits don't care. I feel like they're hamming down my door. No, the door is already broken and on the floor and they're still hammering on it, but I have no idea what a hammer even is so how can I begin to fix it and invite them into the house properly?
That is, ultimately, my question to you all today. And if anyone knows a good direction I can be pointed in, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much for your time, and for reading what has become a long essay- I had counted on it being shorter.

Here's wishing all my fellow muslims a very happy, blessed and fulfilling month of Ramadan. May all our fasts and prayers be accepted. May this time bring peace, joy, discipline, piety, satisfaction, success and families and friends together.
and help put the slim back in Muslim
All the best!~

Hello, and welcome to the final review of my LONER, Superstar, and The Art of Forgetting trilogy. It’s been a pleasure being able to write all of these and share my thoughts with everyone about how I feel about Caroline Rose’s records, and it sort of saddens me that the anticipation for The Art of Forgetting has vanished with the album’s release. However, that anticipation has been replaced with something else, which you will discover over the course of this deep-dive review.
After the tragedy that was Superstar, success-wise, Caroline had no intention of making another album. In fact, they were too depressed to do much of anything. Not only had Superstar failed, but the world was crumbling around them due to the pandemic, and their own personal universe collapsed after their heart was shattered by the ending of one of the most important relationships in their life. A relationship so important that it changed them and is the context of this record.
Caroline had some soul-searching to do. Eventually, this album had risen from the ashes of the split-level home where their love resided.
It’s no secret that this was one of the records I was probably the most hyped for in my lifetime (I literally had a countdown widget on my home screen for it). During my Superstar review, I explained how I had only really gotten into that record back in January of 2023, but you don’t need to have listened to an album for years to have a deep love and appreciation for it. Case and point. When Love / Lover / Friend was released, I was a little confused. This was the first music since 2020, and it was an atmospheric track with no percussion or drive? I didn’t connect with it at the time. Fast-forward to the announcement of The Art of Forgetting and the release of Miami and I was totally intrigued. I thought Miami was the best song they had ever done up to that point, and with the press release talking about how the album's focus was on mental health and more honest lyrics, plus a rawer sound, I was immediately hyped.
I will be completely honest in saying that I believe an album’s cover goes a long way, even though it’s the music that matters the most. Still, this is the photographic context of the entire record, like the cover of a book. Some people will be drawn in by an album cover alone, and I think one of my favorite things about albums is the cover. Especially if they have meaning. The Art of Forgetting’s cover, then, might be my favorite album cover in general. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I had first laid them upon it. Caroline sits in a big red chair, wearing a fur coat, and donning a scarlet blindfold. With a cigarette in their right hand and a glass of wine in their left, the house around them is engulfed in flames. The entire thing brings to mind the “this is fine” meme, but in a far more slick way. Though it may look badass at a first glance, the entire thing represents the collapse of your life and love, and learning to find ways to move on from that and inevitably be content. I just totally love it.
Now does the music live up to the sheer hype and incredible album cover, or is Caroline’s new work a step in the wrong direction? After all, they are shedding the quirky LONER and glamorous Superstar personas. They are abandoning tracks that make you get up and move your body (Though there are still some), and they are being completely open and honest with their lyrical storytelling. Well, my friends, I’m sitting here trying to write this review while Miami blares in my ears and I try not to let tears cloud my vision. This is an utter triumph from Rose, and I am a total sucker for honesty in lyrics and emotional music.
I am brought to my knees by The Art of Forgetting, so let’s find out why:
Love / Lover / Friend - As I stated before, I wasn’t too excited by this song when it came out, but boy does it give me so many feelings now. Knowing that this song is the opener to the album made me understand it completely, and it is quite the intro. The soft guitar strumming, the cinematic strings, the soft voice, it’s all meant to introduce you to a record that is a far departure from Superstar. Strap yourself in, we’re riding the train of emotions today, friends! During the 2nd half, Caroline showcases their love for songs that are purely vocal by using theirs in all sorts of interesting away and creating a desperate and pained feeling. And it makes sense, as this song is all about the frustration at a fraying relationship, Rose not keen with their heart being messed around with and achingly reinforcing who they are to their partner. It hurts but makes for a stunning track. This song is the denial stage of grief.
Rebirth - When I tell you my jaw hit the floor during this song, I’m not kidding. First of all, I don’t usually like vocal distortion most times, but Caroline’s voice just sounds so good here, and it was a super cool choice for the song. It gives the song its identity by being the only track that has that particular distortion, too. But the song starts with a cut-up guitar, which is an incredibly cool and freaky sound. Already, Caroline is showing off their creativity in this album. The part where my jaw fell on the floor is after the first “Packed for rebirth” when the Spanish guitar comes in and then Caroline’s vocals, followed by the feral drums that make this sound like a ritualistic dance. For a song called Rebirth, it just ties the whole thing together. To me, the song is about the longing to be someone else. The song describes the feelings after the relationship in Love / Lover / Friend has crumbled, and Caroline is explaining how they are ready to start over so they have another chance, but ultimately life isn’t that simple. Sick track.
Miami - This song was released and my eyes were open. It had the softer sound that Love / Lover / Friend had but I thought the acoustic guitar was beautiful. Cut to Caroline’s cassette clicking, then the song’s electric guitars EXPLODING in my ears. Holy shit. The feeling this gave me the first time I heard this song will never leave me. Those epic drums making this charge longer than live just fill me with so much emotion. That finale where Caroline is crying out and we get the title of the album as if to welcome us to the journey we are about to go on. After all, it’s still the beginning of the track list! At this point in the narrative of the album, Caroline has forgotten how to love themself, and this song documents the emotions they were feeling, and a conversation with their mother about their depressed state. The song’s epic finale tells us this is them forgetting how to love themself, but ultimately they will need to move on after all of the pain.
Better Than Gold - I’ll be honest, after hearing that this album was going to have voicemails throughout, I was prepared to not enjoy them, but boy was I wrong. They are one of my favorite aspects of the album and reinforce its themes so strongly. It might sound weird to review a voicemail from someone’s grandma, but I’m reviewing the album as a whole, so it can’t be helped. Caroline’s Mee-Maw’s voice sounds so comforting with the soft crooning, natural flow, and Southern accent. Hearing Caroline’s name, specifically, in the album personalizes the record to them, but that name can be replaced with anyone’s, I feel. We can all be Caroline, and maybe some of us have been Caroline. Heartbreak is a human experience and most of us will go through it. More on the voicemails later. The fact that Mee-Maw forgot to hang up the phone and we could hear her natural conversation and sweetness with her aid is so lovely. It reminds us of the kindness of other people in life which is one of the greatest traits humanity has. The movie Everything Everywhere All At Once says it best: “Be kind.”
Everywhere I Go I Bring the Rain - What a song! It’s upbeat and you can definitely dance to it, which a lot of the fans of their previous albums will appreciate. The acoustic guitar inspired a good feeling inside, yet this song is really a facade, as were the tracks on Superstar. Before we get to the lyrics, I want to say the bridge of the song is great with the percussion pattern flip, but the ending of the song is breathtaking, as well as unexpected. It’s only the last minute of the song, but Caroline knows how to craft an amazing ending, and the switch to a wild style of drumming at the end as the song fades out is one of my favorite artistic choices on the record. The lyrics being sung over the crazy drums emphasize the intensity of the message. The entire song is all of Caroline’s pain and self-doubt rolled up into one track. They are self-deprecating and brutally harsh on themselves, but in the end, we discover that it's time to face that pain head-on because you can’t just escape it, no matter what you do. In a way, I feel like it’s a message to anyone who is hard on themselves that maybe it's time to look inside of themselves and start the journey to improvement. “You can never run away from your pain” may sound hopeless on its own, but in my eyes, it’s a battle cry that means you need to get up and do something about that pain. Outstanding. The depression stage of grief.
The Doldrums - This was yet another single and, while dreamy and gorgeous, I didn’t understand it as the follow-up to Miami. It was slow and methodical but didn’t really feel like single material. I must say, in the context of the album, I freaking love it. It has the incredible sound of the album and some amazing piano work. Halfway through, when the percussion comes in, it just adds some depth to the song that it needed. The strumming of the harp adds a sort of heavenly feeling to an incredibly dark track lyrically. Originally, this song was far, far, longer, with about seven pages of lyrics, but Caroline felt they were far too dark to put out into the world. I can understand. I’ve been deeply depressed before, and it really hurts to look back on that version of yourself. Still, a song like this about mental health is important, and I’m thankful Caroline has shared any version of it with us. Definitely a necessary track to the album. After Everywhere I Go I Bring the Rain tells us we need to face our pain, The Doldrums is what that pain that we’re facing is. Haunting. The anger stage of grief.
The Kiss - I didn’t expect this song to be like this when I first heard it. I was expecting something to chill that would probably groove along, but instead, we got a synth dreampop track that continually builds during its runtime. This is the slowest moment of the album, but because The Doldrums was before it, it doesn’t bring the album’s pacing to a stop. As always, Caroline’s vocals sound incredible, and the way they layered them in this song is brilliant. It’s like multiple different versions of themselves experiencing the same thing. This song encapsulates the utter feeling of loneliness after a breakup, desiring the touch or kiss of anyone, just anyone. It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as Caroline’s feeling affection. When you’re alone with yourself and all the painful memories are playing over and over in your head, you just want nothing more than to create better memories with someone else. The loud final two minutes of the track cascade over you like the feelings in the lyrics cascade over Rose. I adore it and I’m glad they gave it so much time to build up.
Cornbread - What a beautiful interlude filled with guitar and synth. Mee-Maw is back, and we realize that Caroline hasn’t called her back or answered her voicemails since the last time. It’s heartbreaking, but hearing Mee-Maw’s voice grounds us, especially after the darkness of the last three tracks. It was overwhelming for Caroline, but having the voicemail from Mee-Maw showed something beautiful in humanity. Something as simple as thinking cornbread hit the spot reminds us that it’s the littlest things in life that add up to create joy. Just a wonderful and simple message and Mee-Maw isn’t even aware that she’s giving it to us, but that’s what makes it so pure.
Stockholm Syndrome - Why, oh why, oh why, couldn’t this track have been longer? It’s so lovely and beautiful and I wish Caroline had extended it further, but I understand some things aren’t meant to be. We are in the middle of a grieving process, after all. This is the album’s most humorous song, and it’s sort of like the bargaining stage of grief. “What if I kept trying to love you? Would you eventually love me back if I did something simple like writing a love song?”
Tell Me What You Want - The final single from the album, and I was thrown for a loop when it was released! You see, I was so hyped for this album that I had been constantly listening to a live version of this song on YouTube, so I thought I knew pretty much what to expect when going in. Boy, was I wrong. Caroline completely changed all of the lyrics, melodies, and instrumentals. It was a refreshing surprise and I must say, this is one of Caroline’s best vocal performances on a track. The vocal work on the album is stellar the entire time, but the performance here is just awe-inspiring. “ARE YOU TRYING, TRYING TO KILL ME?” sounds so desperate and pained and it is just fucking fantastic, excuse my language. This song goes through many dynamic shifts throughout, which keeps the song from ever feeling stale, always keeping you on your toes. Because the song talks about how confusing a relationship is, I bet Rose intended this to feel like how wild of a rollercoaster a faltering relationship is. It’s Caroline’s take on a classic breakup song, and one of the best I’ve ever heard, talking about the utter frustration from the lack of communication from a partner. Lack of communication is one of the leading causes of relationship deaths these days. Caroline also communicates how scared they are to let the relationship go because they know how much it will hurt, but they know that it can’t continue or it will just be an endless cycle of hurt. Sonically, the song is a sequel to Miami, and Rose ending the song with the wailing guitars from that song is such a great callback that it just elevates my opinions of them as an artist. What a track.
Florida Room - Originally a full song, this was meant to add more upbeat and happier tracks to the record, but it didn’t really end up fitting. Though it is not a message from the interlude, I think this situation still shows how you can’t force happiness into something like this, it has to come naturally. That’s true for any situation where joy is involved. The actual interlude, though, is another voicemail from Mee-Maw that again shows that Caroline is still not talking to her or answering her voicemails. The rule of three with these voicemails worked so well, and I feel that each one bookends a sort of chapter in the album. This one takes right to . . .
Love Song For Myself - Darn it, this melody gets stuck in my head so often. Truly a beautiful song that is another beat inclusion on the record. I haven’t talked about the bass that much in this review, but the bass on this song is super dope. The shift in the middle of the song where we get a slower drum pattern and Caroline comparing themself to a hurricane is amazing, but I love all the parts where the song’s main percussion pattern comes back in. It sounds amazing. The lyrics of this track show the journey to loving oneself again by affirming all the negative things that you think you are and then contrasting them with something good. Humans aren’t just one thing, they are a great many things, and Love Song For Myself is sort of cosmic in that way. At the end of the song, we get some beautiful synths that remind me of the stars, which ties into the cosmic feeling of the lyrics. Stunning song with some of my favorite lyrics on The Art of Forgetting. “If I am loneliness, then I’m the loneliest” is one of my absolute favorites.
Jill Says - Caroline Rose’s first piano ballad! I knew this going into it and expected something simple, yet powerful. I can’t believe how wrong I was again, as this song is complex in its layering and astounding all the way through. This is my favorite track on the album without a doubt, as much as I adore the rest. This song has so much room to breathe and gives us long stretches of instrumentals which are alluring and incredible and it all works so well. The song is a conversation with a therapist about a failed relationship and getting to the root of all the pain. In the end, Caroline finally accepts the loss of their relationship despite their continued feelings for their ex-lover. “I’m gonna miss you for a long, long time” never ceases to bring tears to my eyes.
Where Do I Go from Here? - The epic finale of our journey, Where Do I Go from Here? Has everything. It starts soft, then gets loud, then the drums continue in the second verse as the acoustic guitar joins it. The song then pulls back to give us gorgeous piano before SMASHING back into its utterly hopeful ending. This is it. Caroline Rose’s longest song is a cinematic masterpiece that ends the album with Rose finally learning to move on from all of the pain they have been experiencing through the course of the album. The end of the album recalls the Japanese art of kintsugi, without actually saying anything about it. Caroline has discovered this art on their own, for themself, and realized that all of the pain that we go through in life only leads us to be a more beautiful person in the end. I really began crying at the end when Caroline FINALLY calls Mee-Maw back. Throughout the album, we come to realize that Rose has included these voicemails to show just how much their grandmother was there for her, despite her failing memory. It’s what grounded them in this unbelievably hard period of their life, and what ultimately kept them going. It shows the support system that you have when you’re going through a mental health crisis and that despite not communicating with her, Caroline’s grandma was always thinking about them and missing them. It’s such a comforting feeling. I didn’t expect the album to have such a satisfying payoff, but Caroline’s voicemail at the end really completes the entire journey of the album. They are feeling good again and ready to open up and be happy. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. What a fucking beautiful ending to, without a doubt, one of my favorite albums of all time now.
You know that feeling you get when you have been anticipating for so long and your expectations are actually met? That’s how I feel right now. It’s a huge feeling of relief, but in all honesty, I never doubted Caroline. This was their most personal album yet, and while yes it is about their personal journey of mental health, it’s meant to make people that struggle with depression feel seen and heard. I can’t even begin to tell you how validated I feel by this album and how incredible it is to have a queer artist that just gets me as a whole. I love quirky and fun Caroline, but as I stated before, humans aren’t just one thing. Caroline showed another facet of themself that elevated my appreciation for them as an artist.
From Superstar to The Art of Forgetting, it feels like multiple albums could have come out between then and now by Caroline because the progression is just that insane. People might complain that they can’t dance to these songs, but I genuinely don’t see how you can hear this album and think any part of it is boring. It’s meant to make you feel, and The Art of Forgetting once again shows just how powerful music is. Isn’t it a wonder how something created by someone else has the capacity to fish out feelings from our souls? Isn’t it incredible how a sequence of notes and words can drive one to tears?
It’s because it’s all part of the human experience. The artist is just giving us a glimpse into the world, allowing us to feel everything they felt at the time, and ultimately telling us a triumphant story of overcoming darkness. This is truly one of my favorite albums of all time and certainly will be my album of the year when we reach December. Thank you, Caroline Rose.
From the bottom of my heart,
Niles Hollowthorn.

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I never thought life would turn out like this, Everything is so much worse and so much more horrid than you can ever even imagine as a kid. Even if you've been through shit as a child, even if you were abused, with an absentee parent and living in the depths of poverty, broken homes not properly built, infested with rats and roaches, and were a literal suicidal child. At least you still had hope, and whatever rare comforts you had. But I don't know how much longer I can keep hoping, it feels like that joy and hope and innocence is slipping through my hands like sand. My body feels horrible all the time, my stomach hurts like every day and I feel like I'm developing an addiction to weed because it's what soothes and helps my stomach and stress and sleep, oh yeah it's so fucking hard to fall asleep, I can't sleep with any lights or sound, I need it to be the perfect temperature and I can't have any goddamn piss in my body or I can't fall asleep no matter what I do and the piss literally just keeps being made so if I don't fall asleep in enough time I have to get up and usually start the whole process over again until in exhausted enough. I'm so unhealthy and I have such bad habits and I don't know how to get rid of them, I got ghosted by a fucking therapist and never ended up going again and now is when I really need one the most because my stress and anxiety and depression are at all time highs were it feels like I have no energy to even breathe sometimes. I wish I wasn't so picky, I wish people were more sympathetic to how having ADHD is honestly an actual disability sometimes because of how fucking difficult and finicky and stupid my own goddamn brain is. And I wish people didn't suck so much, I've drifted away from so many people because we weren't compatible and lost so many people I thought would be good friends and now I really don't talk to anyone at all because I hate myself so much I keep convincing myself everyone hates my guts and nobody wants to be my friend, but oh haha great thing about life is this could not just be me and my sickly brain convincing myself of shit but it actually working properly and recognizing patterns. It feels like nobody wants to really talk to me all that much whenever someone does. And I hate how my identity, my fucking existence is politicized and used for people's fucking agendas when all people like me want is to live in goddamn peace, all we want is to live without the threat of punishment or mutilation or murder for loving someone and minding my business, all we want is to not starve and to be respected as much as any other human deserves.
Everyone forgets that we are all human, simply because someone invented certain labels to hate and discriminate someone thousands of years ago, and all we are doing is continuing this endless cycle of shit and suffering. I'm so tired of the struggle, of the fight and of the arguing, of the intolerance and the minding of business that isn't yours, and I wish it wasn't so hard to connect to and love other people.

I feel like every time I am about to cry is in front of people and I just want to cry alone. I've always hated being comforted, yet craved it like water in a desert.
So far I've tried listening to United in Grief, I Gotta Find Peace of Mind, and other songs that touch my heart, but nothing more than a few tears come
Does somebody need to pass away or what? 😭

Hello again,
This happened so long ago, I wanted to make sure I wrote it down with as much detail as possible.
During the 80s, my mom, who had a lot of friends, liked to celebrate, and have house parties. It was mom’s turn to host in our modest house containing a small living room, a small kitchen, a small bedroom, and a small bathroom. The advantage was that there was a large space in front of the house that led to an even bigger backyard. At the time, I was 6 or 7 years old. I was bored out of my mind with the music booming. Through the abundance of Michelob beer bottles and KFC chicken tubs, mom still managed to cook something for my brothers and I—white rice, pinto beans, steak strips, and fried plantains. One of those old war films was on TV. I think it starred Clark Gable as the lead actor. A good friend of my mom gave me a bag of M&M’s. That gave me great joy. With my brothers now asleep in the lone bedroom, I went outside to enjoy the wispy cold air. I stood near the porch of our neighbor. The darkness of that house contrasted with the beaming lights coming out of mine.
A figure emerged from the porch behind me. My neighbor, Susan, came over to me with a wide smile on her face. Her green eyes always managed to mesmerize me—I think she always knew that. I offered her some of my M&M’s. After a while, she asked if I wanted to go somewhere a little quieter. I, being tired of the music and lights, agreed and followed her to the center patio which was almost embedded in darkness. The only part of that patio that remained visible was the white refrigerator, which was tucked against a corner of another neighboring house. Susan headed towards that refrigerator. We went in front of it which was facing the house wall. She suddenly opened the door causing us to be completely enclosed from any prying eyes. Susan looked at me with those enchanting green eyes—Want me to show you something? Before I could say anything, she kissed me. The kiss seemed to last a long time. Tongue and all, it was a brand-new experience for me. Afterwards, she closed the door and retreated to her house—I hope you liked it, she whispered before disappearing. I was left wanted more. I guess biology started to kick in. She was 15. I peered into the metallic black door and the inner wooden door was still open. I called her name several times in hopes she would come out again. But she never did.
During the following months, I would infrequently see Susan—mostly when she would go to school in the mornings. I recall rushing back from school hoping to catch her returning. However, I would never see her coming back during the daytime. I suppose she would come back at night. Her mom, her aunt and two little brothers lived there. Paying a little more attention, I would notice random men and women arriving and leaving the house next door. They all had something in common: they wore dark jeans and either white t-shirts or tank tops. Most of the time they would also have dark hoodies. Years later I would discover that Susan’s mom and aunt were in a gang. All the unsavory activities would catch up to them as they were forced to move out one year later. I would only see Susan a handful of times since.
Eventually, my family and I ended up moving into the bigger house. Over 5 years passed by when there were loud knocks on the metal door at night. I happened to be in the living room watching TV. I decided to peek from the curtain next to the door. I saw Susan and a friend of hers. Both had dark jeans and white tank tops along with hoodies. Susan wore dark lipstick and heavy makeup that made her unrecognizable from the night we kissed. I told mom that it was Susan and a friend. She went ahead and opened the door. As they came inside, I stood next to mom hoping Susan would say hi to me. She never acknowledged me—Hi! I’m sorry for coming here so late. Can we use your bathroom for a bit? My mom looked a bit put off by the request, but still ended up letting them through. I did not know what they were doing, but there were in the bathroom for a long time. After an hour they both rushed into the living room, open the door and disappeared into the night.
A year later, Susan would go on to have a baby boy. Another year would go by and my mom sat down on the couch next to me and gave me the news—I am sorry but Susan has died. It turned out that one night Susan was on a payphone and was spotted by a rival gang. Shortly after finishing a phone call to her mom, where she asked how her baby was doing, Susan was summarily shots multiple times.
Throughout the years, I always thought of the ways I could have helped her out—how things would have been different if she would have come back outside that night we kissed. I just hope she has the peace she was denied in life.

*SHUNK*
A blink of an eye passed, moments after the object was thrown across the room by Efena over to Mystia. Sumireko and the others were stunned by what had occurred; some were perplexed, while others were concerned.
What they saw was Mystia being tightly embraced by Satsujin, in a position where Satsujin could act as a shield, a protector for the Night Sparrow. The object had dug deep into his back, injecting firmly well into him. But the object in question was strange. It wasn’t some kind of special bullet that Efena had prepared, nor was it a blade of any kind. It was a syringe filled with an unusual blue liquid that slowly seeped into Satsujin until it was completely drained.
Satsujin felt a pulse of energy course through him, as if a jolt of electricity had zipped from the top of his head to the ends of his toes. He felt a surge of immense power surging through him, only for it to dissipate and vanish, nothing more than a flickering light that had lost its spark. But other than that, he felt fine.
"Mystia…" He said, looking at the girl’s face. "Are you alright?"
"Satsujin…" Mystia looked at his face, seeing the genuine, reassuring smile he gave her, letting her know everything was alright. "You…took the hit for me."
"Yeah…I did." Satsujin said. "Because I wouldn’t want to witness the one I love get hurt." He said.
Within his subconscious, Satsuki was weeping with tears of joy, as though she were watching a soap opera. Satsugrim, on the other hand, did nothing but facepalm as hard as he could.
"Satsujin… You’re… You’re so brave… You’re so heroic. You’re so…Gullible." Mystia’s voice suddenly changed to a dark and scary one.
"W…What?" Satsujin was confused. The way Mystia said that word, it was as though she were now a different person. But that can’t be true, right? He sensed nothing wrong from her, nothing! There’s no way she’s a fake; he would know!
But he was soon to be proven wrong. Mystia’s form slowly began to change. Her hair which was short and pink began to grow long and messy, reaching down to her hips. Her skin turned pale and chiseled like a porcelain doll. Her clothes which were white and brown, decorated with ornaments, turned into a long plain white dress.
"You’re not Mystia…" Satsujin said, backing away from the transforming figure. "Who are you?" He asked.
"Who am I?" The figure said. "Satsujin, have you forgotten what I look like? How shameful of you. I’m Efena. The Goddess of Fear." Efena said, now revealing her true form.
"B-But how!? I thought you were controlling Yukari! You can’t be in two places at once!" Satsujin shouted.
Over by where Yukari was, a root that had been implanted in her neck shriveled up and detached from her, likely due to the force of the impact that she received. Her eyes and form slowly reverted back to normal, as she blinked around, confused about what was going on. But everything clicked when she saw Sumireko and the others.
Sumireko and Suika looked back, seeing Yukari struggling to move. "Wait, if that’s Efena over there. Then that’s Yukari." Sumireko said.
"No…No!!!" She attempted to say something, but her voice was hoarse. She tried to get up, but her legs buckled when she moved. It was as though she were a newborn taking their first steps. "Everyone…Run…Run!!!"
Everyone was even more confused, while Efena laughed. "My roots can do more than grab onto people or spread my fear mist. I can also inject them into the back of their necks and control them for a short period of time. Though I can’t do it on anyone, only those who have succumbed to their fears…Oh, did I forgot to mention I can shapeshift into other beings?"
Of all the moments that Satsujin could be feeling anger, this was one of them. He was furious, a fiery volcano erupting in an explosive manner. To think he'd be duped so easily by someone he hadn't expected. He was heartbroken, knowing it wasn’t Mystia he saved.
"I…Will…Crush you!!!" He shouted, holding his hand out and preparing to unleash a spell card. "Song Sign: Violent String!"
…
But nothing happened.
"What?" Satsujin was now more confused than before. He tried again. "Song Sign: Violent String!!!" But again, nothing, not even a single bullet was casted. "Why is it not working? Violent String! Violent String!!! Violent String!!!!!"
Efena simply smiled, while her roots began to form around her and Satsujin. Slowly they moved to wrap around his legs, throwing him to the ground. He hit the floor hard, nearly banging his head had he not covered his face first. He didn’t even notice the roots surrounding him. And thinking about it now, he can’t sense anything whatsoever. He was completely blind.
Efena began to laugh, watching Satsujin struggle like an infant, trying to pull himself out of the roots. He wanted to use his intangibility, but even that wouldn’t work. He can't use his echolocation, turn intangible, or even cast magic. He was powerless.
"What’s going on!? Why can’t I use my abilities!?" He said.
The others realized what was going on, and they quickly tried to go over and help him.
"Satsujin!!!" Rumia shouted. "What’s happening right-"
Suddenly, the roots in the room began to spray out their mist, hitting everyone that was inside, including Satsujin. They all tried to avoid inhaling it, holding their breaths, but they couldn’t keep it up forever.
"Ack! That smells terrible!" Rumia said, wiping the mist away from her face. "Satsujin… What is going on?"
She opened her eyes. But she didn’t find herself in the Scarlet Devil Mansion… But instead, she was in a dark forest, where she was met with a woman she was all too familiar with. Donning a fox mask on her face, wearing the traditional clothes of Hakurei, and wielding the honorable gohei that was primarily used for extortions and exterminations.
"N…No…No, it can’t be real… No…Nonono…No…G…Get away…" Rumia said, backing away. "Get away…Get away I’m sorry!!!"
Rumia witnessed her fears come to life. Cirno on the other hand was experiencing something different. She saw the sight of her beloved friends dead on the ground, their weapons broken and shattered, even Letty, the woman she looked up to was nothing more than a corpse.
"E…Everyone…Reisen…Big Sis…Letty." Cirno said.
And as she looked up, she saw a figure floating above the clouds, the full moon embraced behind her, and a single wing that spread wider than their entire body, while a long blade rested in their hand.
"Cirno and the others will be victorious in their fight, managing to defeat the one-winged angel with no casualties." The person said in a cold yet calculating voice.
"You…You killed them…You killed them all… SAGUME!!!!!!!!!!" Cirno screamed with a mix of anger and fear.
The others were experiencing similar fates. Suika had found herself alone again, trapped in her own gourd with no way out. Sumireko was trapped inside a box that was slowly filled with cockroaches. Meiling watched everyone in her family die thanks to the one person who caused it all. Ko witnessed her mother being crushed to death over and over again. Mary simply turned into a rusty blade, worthless in all the ways a blade could be, and forever forgotten as a result.
Satsujin could hear everyone screaming or yelling in fear, while the laughter of Efena played out. "D-Damn you!!! How…How did you do this? How did you take away my powers!?" He demanded.
"Oh? That’s simple." Efena said. "I used a special kind of serum made by a highly intelligent acquaintance of mine. You probably don’t know him, but he’s known by the name Prof. Altalune. He has a very unique ability that was very helpful in dealing with people such as you, the Goddess of Hell, and even the Hakurei Shrine Maiden."
"And what is that!?" Satsujin demanded.
"The ability to disable other abilities."
The way she said it made him realize the gravity of his situation. He can't do anything because his abilities aren't working. He’s nothing more than a regular being.
"I wonder, now that your pesky mental defenses are lowered, that means you should be susceptible to my mist again." Efena giggled. "Only one way to find out…"
She approached Satsujin, imitating a blown kiss while spraying one of her roots directly in his face. He coughed, almost gagging from the intense smell of the mist.
Within his subconscious, his eyes gazed upon a sight that was to behold. He was standing in the middle of the streets of Japan, late at night, with the cold wind blowing by him. He looked at his surroundings, and they were familiar, very familiar.
"This…This is the place that I-"
He stepped back, only to feel a presence behind him. He turned around, looking up to greet the face of a man he swore was dead.
His father was dressed in the same fancy suit, smoking a cigar and laughing so hard it sent chills down his spine.
"Hehehe. Run all you want, boy. But you can never truly escape your past." The man said.
Satsujin, for what seemed like forever, was afraid again. His eyes darted around the place, looking at the buildings and the streetlamps. He saw men and women of various shapes and sizes, all of them wearing identical outfits while holding weapons ranging from bats to switchblades. He walked back, but felt another presence yet again.
He turned around and was greeted by a mature and beautiful woman. She wore a silky dress that showed her shoulders well. Her hair was styled up to make herself look as rich as rich could be, while in one of her hands she held a wine glass that swirled round and round with little effort on her part.
"Mother…You’re also-"
"Don’t talk to me." His mother said.
Satsujin was interrupted by the swiping of her hand, her claws tearing through his skin like paper. He was knocked to the ground, his cheek bleeding. The pain was enough for him to start tearing up, but both his parents were the least of his problems.
When he looked to his right, he saw his brother kneeling on the ground, a bag over his head, and one of the taller guys standing above him, holding a mallet primarily used for pounding mochi. His brother struggled to move because his arms and legs were bound with ropes.
"No…No, what are you doing to him?" Satsujin asked. "Let him go. Please, let him go! He’s done nothing wrong!"
His father let out a laugh, while his mother took a small sip of wine, looking at the man with the mallet and spoke,
"Do your thing already." She said.
"No! NO!!!" Satsujin shouted, he tried to get up but his body was weak. He could only watch as the man lifted the mallet up into the sky, casting a shadow in the moonlight. His father's laughter filled his ears as he screamed in desperation at the sight of him.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"
Before the mallet could strike, Satsujin was suddenly pulled out of the nightmare by Satsuki and Satsugrim. The gateway to the sequence tried to pull him back using root-like hands, but Satsuki used her bat to crush them into nothing but paste.
"Augh! Gross!" Satsuki said. "I’ll need to clean Ruthless later after all of this."
Satsujin breathed heavily, but began to slow down when he realized he was back in his own subconscious, where it was safe. He looked up, seeing Satsugrim holding a hand out to help him up. He gladly took that hand and stood back up.
"Thanks for pulling me out. I didn’t think that-"
And then Satsugrim punched him across the face, knocking him down.
"Satsugrim!" Satsuki shouted.
"You… Fucking idiot!" Satsugrim shouted. He reached back down to pull Satsujin back using his shirt, forcing Satsujin to stare right into his half-broken mask. "Not only did you ignore my advice, not run away when you should’ve run, and willingly surrender, but now we can’t even use our abilities because of your inept behavior. And for what exactly!?"
Satsujin looked back at Satsugrim, still feeling afraid due to the mist. He could see the level of anger his more negative variant showed, and he can’t help but feel he was right.
"I just...wanted to protect someone," said Satsujin.
"Oh, of course." Satsugrim said in a harsh tone. He shoved Satsujin away from him as he tried to keep his balance. "I guess it was worth giving up all of our powers and skills so you could save the woman who lured all of us into a trap… You’re more incompetent than her right now."
Satsujin wanted to argue, fight back, say something to make his variant shut up. But he can't because he has nothing to say to demonstrate that what he did was worthwhile. He led everyone into a trap, got them all captured, and when they were close to victory, he screwed up in the end.
"Okay, fine. You’re right." Satsujin said. "I fucked up. Is that all you want to hear?"
"Oh wow, you’re actually admitting it." Satsugrim felt a little surprised. "But it’s too late now, Satsujin. We can’t go back after this."
"Well what do you expect me to do then? It’s not my fault that you and everyone else expect me to be perfect."
"Guys, c’mon already!" Satsuki shouted. "What happened to no fighting/bickering? We need to think of a solution that could help us get out of this situation."
"Oh, you got any bright ideas, Miss ‘Swing and a Hit’? Because I am all… all… all…" Satsugrim's tone changed from sarcastic to fearful. Satsuki and Satsujin were puzzled as they both wondered what caused his mannerisms to change.
"Huh? What is it now? Why did you get so quiet?" Satsuki asked.
Satsugrim’s hand was shakily raised to point forward behind Satsuki. Both she and Satsujin turned around to look at where Satsugrim was pointing. And they both turned baffled.
They saw a figure walk towards them, wearing a classy black suit normally worn at formal events. Their hair was well-combed and styled in a fancy manner. He had both of his hands in his pockets, strolling towards the three while a trail of a purple, glitchy essence trailed behind him on the ground. He wore a purple-oni mask on his face, covering up his identity, but as soon as everyone saw him, he took out one of his hands and removed the mask.
Everyone was shocked when they saw who it was. He had the same face as Satsujin, with the exception that there were no scars around his eyes, and instead of red and blue heterochromatic eyes, they were both a vibrant shade of purple.
"No…No. No no no no no nononononononononononono." Satsugrim said in a panicked tone. "We got to move. Now… NOW!!!" He grabbed both Satsuki and Satsujin, pulling them as he tried to make them move.
"Hey! What is going on!? Who is that guy?" Satsujin said.
"He’s the reason I don’t have my eyes! We can’t stay here! We gotta move now!!!" Satsugrim said.
"What? I'm not going to flee like you, Grim!" Satsuki said, yanking her arm away from Satsugrim. "If he's a threat, then we should deal with him!"
"Wait! No!!!" Satsugrim said.
But Satsuki didn’t listen. She ran right over to the purple-eyed man with her baseball bat. She got close enough to where she could swing it right at him, intending to bash his brains out. However-
*BANG*
She fell to the ground, dropping her bat, and lay there, blood seeping out from the bullet wound she received from the man’s gun, which he had in his other pocket.
"Satsuki!" Satsujin said. "We gotta help her!!!" He tried to pull away from Satsugrim.
"Again with this shit!? The last time you helped someone we lost our powers, we gotta move!"
"I don’t care! I can’t leave her! You can if you want!"
"I can’t! You’re supposed to be the main host! If you fall, then he gets to take back control!"
"Who even is he!?"
The man who had been standing far away from them suddenly appeared in front of them, a casual smile on his face and his eyes glaring down at both variants of Satsujin. Both of them froze in terror, their legs paralyzed by terror. In a desperate attempt, Satsugrim threw Satsujin away from him with as much strength as he could, then proceeded to pull out his severed blade to attack the threat. But the threat blocked the attack using the hilt of his gun, putting in little effort to hold him back.
"Grim! What are you-"
"Just fucking go already!" Satsugrim shouted.
Those words were apparently enough for Satsujin to finally understand the situation. He turned around and began to run as quickly as he could while Satsugrim held back the menace for as long as possible. He ran as far as he could, running for what felt like miles, yet never seemingly running out of breath.
"Damn it Grim! The one time you decide to not act so cowardly." Satsujin told himself. "What do I even do now? I can’t use my abilities, I don’t know where I’m supposed to go."
*BANG*
A bullet shot him in the leg. He fell to the ground, wincing from the immense pain he was feeling.
"Auuugh!!! It hurts!!! Why does it hurt so much!?" Satsujin yelled. He figured he could try and pull out the bullet from his leg, but he didn’t know how he could do that. Instead he watched the figure who he believed he ran away from now walking towards him, dragging behind Satsuki and Satsugrim using what looked to be strings made of the same essence that trailed behind him.
He crawled away, trying to get back up, but he shot his other leg in response, making it so he could no longer run. Satsujin yelled in pain, desperate for a way out.
"W-wait!!! Please… Why are you doing this?" Satsujin said. "Aren’t you supposed to be me or something? We’re supposed to work together!"
The figure continued to remain silent. He walked up to Satsujin, pulling him up with ease, and forced him to make eye contact. Satsujin remained terrified of the person, knowing he could not do anything.
"Who…are you even?" He asked.
And finally, the figure spoke.
"...I’m you… Or rather, you’re me… Dai Kensei."
And then it happened. Satsujin felt a flourish of corruption energy flow right into him. He started to scream sporadically, both internally and externally.
Back in the real world, Satsujin was glitching out, his body twitching and writhing like someone who had a seizure. His screams filled up the room, his form changing to become more and more unrecognizable as if he were a sprite in a game that had been horribly altered to be nothing like how it should look.
And then, it stopped. Satsujin’s form changed back to how he was before he became a vengeful spirit, back into being a full-blooded human, as he collapsed to the ground, his eyes no longer red and blue, not even a bright pink and purple, or even blue and red. They were completely white, lacking any color whatsoever.
Efena was a little shocked at first, seeing Satsujin react in such a way. But her shock turned to laughter, laughter that became more hysterical in a matter of seconds. She laughed as though she truly believed she had won.
"HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAA!!! Oh…Inco. To think you had planned this far… I knew you wouldn’t let someone like him be." She said, wiping away tears from her face. "You always…always find a way."
Reaching in her dress, she pulled out PB’s deactivated form that she got from Ko, smiling with bliss. "Now all we need is the cube and die and then-"
Her moment was interrupted when she felt a bullet hit her, albeit a weak one. She looked over, seeing Yukari having regained some of her strength now, as she stood up with a look of frustration and hatred, struggling to move but having enough energy to act if she needed to.
"Oh, yes. I forgot about you for a moment. You’re still regaining your energy though, so you’re not going to be much of a threat, are you?" Efena said.
Yukari stepped forward, waddling back and forth while breathing wearily. She didn’t say anything, instead only focused on walking towards the Goddess of Fear. But a root she didn’t see caused her to trip over, falling to the ground. She struggled to push herself back up while Efena continued to laugh.
"Look at you, trying to stand up like a newborn deer. Maybe I should spray you with some of my mist to help." Efena relocated some of her roots to Yukari's position. But before she could spray out more of her mist, she was sucker-punched hard across the face.
Yukari blinked. One second Efena was standing all triumphant and stoic, the next a blinding light zipped right at her and struck the woman across the face. She stumbled but kept her feet on the ground. Efena checked her face, feeling the lingering pain of a punch left on her.
"What?" She said. She then checked her other hand, realizing that PB was gone. "Wait… Where’s the plate!?"
Just then, a blinding light reappeared in the room, erasing the darkness. A figure stood in between Yukari and Efena, shrouded in light. The Goddess of Fear’s eyes widened, filled with mixed emotions of fear and anger, seeing the figure holding PB in their hands.
"...You…It’s you…" Efena said.
"...Who are you?" Yukari said with a raspy voice.
The figure looked back at Yukari, "Can you still use your powers right now?"
Yukari was confused by their request. She had regained some of her energy so she should be able to open up a gap. "I should, but why do you ask?"
As if right on cue, the room started to shake, tremendously. It was as though something was shaking the entire mansion, affecting Yukari, Efena, and also the figure shrouded in light.
Deep beneath the mansion, Demise was somewhere close to where the basement was located, using his powers to affect the surrounding rock and dirt by creating vibrations equivalent to that of high-magnitude earthquakes. He hummed to himself, wondering how long it would take for the mansion to collapse. Because while the mansion can handle many types of weather and disasters, a magnitude-10 earthquake is not one of them.
The mansion began to crack, the pillars that supported it began to break and collapse, rooms shattered, and debris fell. It was only a matter of time before the entire mansion was demolished. Efena, attempting to avoid getting hit, had a chunk of the ceiling collapse on top of her, knocking her out easily.
"W-w-what is going on?" Yukari said, trying not to be thrown to the ground.
"Crap!!! Crap! crap! crap!" The figure of light said. "Quick! Make one of those gaps and help me get everyone out to safety! Now!!!"
Yukari listened to the person, and they mustered the energy needed to make a small gap that was big enough for one person to enter at a time. The figure then moved to grab everyone one by one, moving fast, but not too fast over towards the gap and threw them in. Sumireko, Rumia, Cirno, Ko, Gummy, Shanghai, Mary, Satsujin, Suika, and Meiling were all carried into the portal. It was an easy task due to them all being entranced by the effects of the Fear Mist. They also tossed PB through the gap portal.
Once everyone was sent to safety, Yukari moved to enter herself. But was struck on the head however, and passed out immediately.
"Oh no." The figure said, watching the gap slowly close. They knew they had to go help, reaching over to Yukari so they could bring her over to the gap before it was too late. But before they could even touch her, their wristwatch began to beep loudly.
"WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT! WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT!"
"What!? No, are you kidding me!?" The figure said with both shock and annoyance. "How is saving her going to distort the timeline!?"
They wanted to complain and ignore the warning. But with their knowledge of how the space-time continuum worked, they could not take that risk. Instead, they were forced to flee, zipping out of the mansion at light speed moments before it completely collapsed with Yukari, Efena, and whoever else had resided inside.
The Scarlet Devil Mansion, home to people of various ethnicities and origins, a place where they could spend their peaceful days like family…Was now nothing but wreckage.
---
To be continued in ACT 2-7: Dwell Blind Upon the Siren's Song
---
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If you're a man in India struggling with depression, you may feel overwhelmed by the pressure to get married from your family and society. It's important to remember that your mental health and well-being should always come first, and that you are not alone in this struggle.
Here are some tips for dealing with parental pressure to get married when struggling with depression:

1. Communicate with your parents: Talk to your parents about how you are feeling and why you are not ready to get married yet. Help them understand that your mental health is your top priority right now, and that you need their support and understanding.
   
2. Seek therapy: Talking to a therapist can be incredibly helpful in managing your depression and in communicating your needs to your parents. A therapist can provide you with tools to manage your depression and can help you communicate with your parents in a way that is constructive and productive.
   
3. Set boundaries: It's important to set clear boundaries with your parents and other family members about what you are and are not comfortable discussing. If talking about marriage is a trigger for your depression, make it clear that you do not want to discuss it right now.
   
4. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family: Reach out to friends and family members who understand your struggles and can provide you with emotional support during this time. You don't have to go through this alone.
   
5. Take care of yourself: Make sure you are taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Engage in self-care activities that bring you joy and help you manage your depression, such as exercise, meditation, or creative pursuits.
   

Remember, you are not alone in this struggle. Depression is a real illness, and it's important to prioritize your mental health and well-being above societal and family pressures. Seeking help and support is a brave and important step towards healing and improving your quality of life.

tw: mentions of suicide
i think I’m going to end things that day. I’m really tired. I’m alone. I just don’t feel joy anymore and I haven’t for many years. I’ve picked that date bc I’m supposed to go to two concerts in the meantime. I’m going to see nct dream in april and I’m going to see tomorrow x together in may. I should be happy, ecstatic, and anxious all at the same time in anticipation for these events but I really don’t feel anything. It’s always been my dream to be near them, just for those few moments…but I’m not excited to see the people I admire most. I’m not thrilled at all to see them sing and smile and dance.
that’s how I know it’s over for me. txt and nct were always a source of happiness for me especially when I was at my lowest. they’d always felt like home to me, but now I’ve lost my feelings for them just like I have with everything else I used to enjoy.
what I’m most afraid of is that I’ll somehow find my will to live again during these next two months but then bOOM I’ll be hit with another depressive episode in which I’m too much of a coward to k m s. so I’ll just suffer all over again just like I have been for years. I’m tired of the up and down I’m tired of getting nowhere I’m tired of working hard and never feeling fulfilled. I’m tired of stuffing myself with food in attempt to fill my emptiness. I’m tired of being and feeling ugly and deformed. I’m tired of being sad and having no one close to go to for comfort.
sorry I’m so negative. I’m just trying to take up time bc I don’t have the will to do anything productive. I’m literally just waiting to die.