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I'm (25F) in grad school for health profession. Just started my 3rd and final year of school with a hospital clinical that is mon-fri unpaid 40 hours a week for the next 9 weeks. This past year I got into my first relationship, and I couldn't be happier about it, it absolutely came out of nowhere at a time I was fairly certain (and kind of happy) about the fact I was going to be on my own for the foreseeable future.
I've always been pretty independent and enjoyed doing things for myself, being alone never bothered me much. Sometimes I thought it might be nice to have a partner, but once I was settled into the peaceful quietness of my parents basement with a decent sized bowl of ice cream and a new episode of my favorite show or video game queued up to relax, I couldn't imagine enjoying anything more. I'd go out to bars/club or other social settings with friends for dancing, fun, and socialization. flirting was fun but I always wanted to go home alone to my own clean bed and not have to worry about staying over somewhere else or having to deal w someone else in the morning. I lived my life very much to my own enjoyment specifications and never felt I was missing out on something. I received all of the socialization I needed from my friends and I was satisfied with that. I always thought I had a decent grasp on how to be a good partner but never cared enough to pursue a relationship just because it seemed like a burden to some degree, I have to make time for them, spend money on them, manage their emotions as well as mine, and in a way if the relationship becomes long term have a part of my identity reside with them which seemed scary. It never felt like something I needed, I planned my next 10 years under the impression of continuing on single as I had my entire adult life.
This is all to say I could not have been more wrong.
The person I fell in love with is the most perfect thing on the planet and I'm not sure if I could ever be as happy as I was alone again, now that I know what this kind of happiness feels like. This is a person that makes my day better just on sight. They are just good. It sounds boring I know, but I don't know how else to describe it. They're so kind and thoughtful and their heart is just so... good. Their love and attention is the most beautiful feeling to experience. And she's a complete badass, I genuinely don't know what I did to deserve this person. I feel incredibly safe and comfortable w her (even though she still makes me a little nervous in a good way sometimes), and I know I could tell her anything (for reference I've never been big on telling people anything personal outside of normal conversation, I've always been very private). We don't have every single thing in common which is honestly great, I love hearing her talk about things she loves that I don't know about, and our values and expectations of life are synchronous. She makes me laugh. We have a really wonderful sense of trust and understanding between us. I want to do everything for her, I want her to fall asleep with me and to be able to hold her in the morning. The way she smells and feels when I hug her makes it nearly impossible to let go. I want to buy everything for her I think would make her happy (even though I probably can't afford it anyway, and we do have a pretty equal way of splitting things). I want to do all of the stuff I did when I was single but with her (shocking revelation, I know).
Cuddling with someone you love while watching your favorite show is better then anytime I've spent out at a bar or other social setting. It's completely euphoric. I love making time for her and will drive anywhere to see her (sometimes we're over an hour apart and I currently work early 7 days/week). I get sad when I cant see her, I still love being alone, but it's not as fun when I am. I think about her the entire time. I love learning everything about her whether it's emotionally tough or otherwise. I've never been prouder to be associated with another person, and I want people to think of her when they see me and vice versa. Oh my god and on top of all that she's absolutely stunning, beautiful, gorgeous. It's objectively undeniable, I thought that before we even became interested in each other. I mean I never saw myself as particularly ugly but I'm a complete scrub next to this person. I know this isn't big news and most people have known all of these things since they started dating as teenagers. But it's been a big deal for me, and it's really exciting. I honestly just assumed I didn't have the ability to feel those feelings. Now my life feels completely different.
Back to the original point of this post though, it's that I'm tired. Clinical has me waking up earlier than I usually do and the hospital setting is draining physically and emotionally, it takes up most of my day and I practically drop when I get home. Not a lot of time or energy left over to do the things I enjoy. No relief on the weekends either I still have to wake up early sat/sun for my paid job. I know some people have it worse, but all of that wouldn't matter to me if I didn't have someone perfect it was keeping me from. I'm about an hour and 20 from this person at the moment, and it's difficult to get to her when we have to wake up so early the next day-- Usually I wouldn't care about going to work tired but this clinical demands my active attention and I just operate better if I can get at least 7 hours. Now the solution isn't so obvious that she come and stay with me more often, she also has a clinical with similar hours closer to where she's currently living. So travelling back and forth over the week becomes cumbersome for both of us, especially after hobbies and such. Because I work on the weekends too, and live with my parents at the moment to save money, she has to wake up early with me on what's supposed to be her day off those days and drive all the way back to her appt, which I feel terrible asking her to do. But I love and appreciate when she does (and I let her know).
I'm not looking for solutions I know this issue will all be over in 9 weeks, but it's just really bumming me out and I wanted to get it off my chest (and wanted to talk about how much I love her for a bit). This person makes me so happy, and it's hard seeing her stressed and tired on top of me also being stressed and tired. We see each other only once a week right now which is a stark contrast from when we saw each other everyday in class, and when she lived closer (was only 30 mins away from my home at that time, we called ourselves spoiled about it). I'm not concerned about drifting apart or anything like that I'm just sad about the time i'm missing being with this person. but I know there will be more to have in the future. Not to brag but I feel like I kind of absolutely nailed it first try with this person, I don't think I'd mind at all being with her for a very long time. I know I sound incredibly naïve saying all this about my first relationship but I don't mind that criticism. It might be true I'm being naïve, but if she is how my heart gets broken one day, I'll always be thankful she showed me what a healthy love looks like and I feel pretty secure about that. In all the time we've been together now it's never become easier to say goodbye to her, and the absolute burning fire in my heart for her as only become larger... but maybe calmer. Whereas the initial falling in love feels unwieldy and beautifully uncontrollable (which is an amazing experience on its own)-- developing our relationship over the months has made the fire functional, capable of warming a home and feeding a village. Large, beautiful, and sustainable. She makes me feel so sure, so secure, and so happy.
I appreciate anyone who reads this or gets this far. I ended up writing much more than I thought. I've been having a hard time in general with other factors in my life and this entire situation has just felt heavier. It's depressing working everyday and only really having free time to eat, shower and sleep. simply wanted to write it out somewhere to unweight a bit and spill it out somewhere in the bowels of the internet.

I was going to be late. I was on the verge of panic, uncertain of where I’d come from or why I was late, but I was going to be late.
Today was supposed to be different. I was sure of it. The start of something new. My only opportunity to move out of my little dead-end corner of Appalachia rested on me arriving for the night shift on time.
I sped over the rolling road in a panic. Dense old growth rushed past in a blur periodically broken by small plots of pasture, apple orchards and fields that a few months earlier were brimming with corn. Shadows danced out there in the dim moonlight and the closer I got to the airfield the more separated from the small outlying town I felt.
My steering wheel was cold and it vibrated wildly in rhythm with my heart. I tapped it impatiently.
The rusted hulk nearly left the road each time I crested a hillock. My suspension groaned under the salt spurred corrosion and strain.
I can get a new car if this all works out.
I nearly missed my turn. Fishtailing, I plodded off the main road onto an aptly named “Airport Drive”.
I came to a halt at the designated stall and turned the car off.
A minute to spare.
I looked out into the darkness beyond the parking area and a tingle ran down my spine. The shadows that were once dancing as I passed were still now and the air oppressive. My hands were tingled with cold yet brimmed with sweat. Before opening the door, I took a few deep breaths, flattened my hair, and made sure my uniform was sharp. Looking into my image in the rearview mirror I cleared my throat.
“Alright buddy. You’ve been drifting from service job to service job in this dying county for half a decade. Somethings got to change. *You’ve* got to change. You’ve got a daughter now, you can’t be out there chasing bar weasels and getting drunk every other night. It’s time to up your game. You aren’t the little boy who had to stand in the corner with his nose to the wall every time you messed up anymore. Now your choices matter for her life too. The pay and experience here are going to help springboard you off into something bigger and brighter. You can do this.”
My car door shrieked open causing the chirping and croaks in the forest around the airfield to briefly fall silent. The crunch of gravel followed me across the unpaved, unmarked parking spaces poorly illuminated by one lonely floodlight. I made my way to the entrance of the terminal and pulled open the door to the chime of an old brass bell.
“Oh, hey buddy.” He glanced at the clock. “You’re early.” Stepping into the room I saw Gus casually looking up from his crossword, bifocals resting on his fat, bright red nose.
“Yessir. I figured maybe if things weren’t too busy we could get started early. I’ve heard night shift can be a lot to take in.”
His brows furrowed and his mouth hung half open.
“Well….alright, I guess. But we’ll be easing you in. Just the basics for the first week.” He held up a finger, “Will and I are gonna rotate each night, until we know you’ve got the hang of it, then we’ll start giving you more responsibilities – if you’re up to it.”
We spent several hours on the night shift responsibilities for the airfield. Many of the duties weren’t too complicated. When we went to the control room at the base of the single tower overlooking the tarmac we flipped several very clearly marked switches turning the runway lights on and off. Then we walked over the several generators tucked away behind baggage claim to check their fuel and oil levels.
“Checking these emergency generators things each night seems a bit overkill, no?” I asked.
Gus smiled. “These aren’t for emergencies. This is our power. Yea, this past winter much to our surprise we found that some of the power poles came down. Some heavy rainfall right before the first snow turned the ground to soup and the just sort of…fell over.”
“They really shouldn’t do that.”
Gus shrugged. “Yea well, corners get cut all over the place. Damn things still aren’t back up, so here we are.”
As we walked back over to the portables for baggage claim and arrivals/departures. Another tingle ran down my spine. Instinctively I looked around and caught sight of something out in the dark. It was the feeling of being watched. I tried to focus my eyes on the darkness. I saw some gently pulsating shadows near the trees but nothing more.
The chirping and croaks were nowhere to be heard and I shivered.
“Come on kid, I ain’t got all night.”
I came to and trotted over to where Gus had stopped. “Sorry, I thought I saw…something.”
We continued onward, restocking the restrooms, went over baggage tagging and safe lifting procedures and the other mundane parts of preparing for the night’s departures and arrivals.
Finally, we wrapped up my first training session with perimeter checks.
Gus’ labored breathing alternated with his footfalls on the blacktop as we walked down the small runway.
“Every 3 hours you are going to be making this walk.” He gestured around. “You start over at the ATC tower and head out to the tree line, then follow that parallel to the tarmac until you pass the last of the landing lights and keep going until you hit the transmission shack. Don’t get distracted and go off following the transmission lines. Had a guy do that a year or two ago and it took us a week only to find his ass mumbling by the side of the road talking about the linemen – boy wasn’t right after that.”
He paused thoughtfully for a moment.
“Anywho, after the transmission shack you hook right following the shore of the river until you hit Eddie’s orchard then head back. You’ll pass his cornfield and follow that until you see the two terminal portables, then you check the parking lot and come back to the office to enter it all in the logbook. Just need to make sure there ain’t nothing out there that shouldn’t be.”
We continued walking in silence for a few minutes. “So what do I do if I find something? Are we looking for the Wilson boys or something? I thought they stopped causing trouble after you…”
“Well, you need to enter it in the logbook for one.”
“Bears? What do I do if it’s bears?”
He stopped. “Bears? What the hell are you rambling about? We don’t get bears this time of year. Oh, and be sure to bring your bear spray.”
“Even though there aren’t bears?”
“It’s under the counter next to the logbook.” He paused again. “If you see any wildlife, just take the truck out there and honk at it to get it away from the runway. Be sure to use your high beams, too. Very important. You see any people you get back to the office and call the Sheriff – don’t need to be a hero. You hear anything weird out there in the dark you leave it be, if it’s off property it’s not our problem.”
“Any questions?” he asked as we got back to the office.
A few.
“No, I’m good.”
“Great, Will’s in the control tower if anything comes up. No flights scheduled for tonight so it should be awfully quiet. Here’s the keys to the castle. Adios.”
He placed a massive key ring into my hand that had more keys than there were doors on the property and took off.
I sat down behind the counter, looked at the broken clock and sighed.
I was able to knock out the task list before midnight and had 6 more hours to kill before the end of my shift. There was no cell service, because of course not. I tried reading an old Town and Country magazine I found stashed under the desk and found most of the pages had been covered in circles and doodles by someone who must have been just as bored as I was on some unknown shift prior.
I decided to sweep up and clean the counters to keep myself busy and after I was done it was only 12:15.
I groaned.
The silence was oppressive. Outside the window was an empty, dark expanse with a slowly strobing series of red lights marking the flight line. I felt safer indoors but even then as I stared into the dark something felt off. If I turned my gaze from the windows I could see something out of the corner of my eyes. Branches swaying in the breeze.
There was no wind here.
12:34.
I pulled the logbook out from its shelf and placed it on the counter entering my start time, grabbed my flashlight and headed out into the frigid night.
The occasional whistling of the wind punctuated my footfalls. I passed red light posts every few yards on a never-ending runway. I kept walking for what felt like half an hour, losing count of the lights I’d passed. I turned back out of curiosity and still saw the slowly receding light of the air traffic control tower confirming that yes, all was well. After the runway ended I continued into the dark until coming to the boarded up transmission shack and the power lines that ran off into the forest.
I came the edge of the marsh and began following it. Minutes passed. I turned to get my bearings on the tower and found it’s lonely beacon, but I also noticed a void in the dark – not a blackness per-se, black is a color. No, it was a complete lack of color, a hole in existence out past the power lines. It was getting larger.
I picked up my pace.
I got to the orchard and looked back finding that the lights were out. All of them were out. And that thing in the forest was growing near.
I stood there and watched it for several minutes waiting for it to move. It didn’t.
I turned back now walking as fast as I could. After a dozen yards I stopped and turned around.
It was closer, I was sure of it. Much closer.
I turned and began to jog forgetting everything Gus had told me. It was gaining on me.
Now I was in a full-blown run down the flight line, glancing back every few moments, still unable to see it but sure it was there. The thing that had been watching me since I got here. The thing that drove a cold shock down my spine. This was it.
My legs pumped like pistons and the sting of cold air shot through my chest with each strained, gasping breath.
I passed the recently harvested cornfield, in which stood two perfectly still Deer judging me for my frantic escape.
It was gaining on me.
Finally I came to the portables. I slammed into the nearest door but it stood firm. I slammed my shoulder into it three more times and it didn’t budge. I remembered my key chain.
I pulled it out and started flipping through the keys. *too many keys*.
First key. No.
Second key. No.
Third key. No.
The fourth key worked, the tumbler clicked and I was in. Slamming the door back in place, I frantically locked it.
My hands were shaking and even though I was panting, I went to the window. The void cast long shadows across the field as it stood transfixed not on me, but on the deer.
“Shhhh” a man’s voice whispered from behind me.
“Oh SWEET JESUS FU-“ I screamed as a hand clamped down on my mouth.
“SHHH.” Sharper this time, commanding. “It’s me.” Will whispered, releasing his hand from my mouth.
“What..” I replied quietly as I turned to see him using his phone to maneuver the drone. “What’s going on? You scared the shit out of me. Nice to meet you by the way I’m..”
He smiled, “You gotta be more careful buddy, Didn’t Gus tell you not to go out into the woods?” Now that I could hear him clearly, his odd vowel pronunciation took me off guard. He’d fit right in, in Venice beach. Surfers. He sounded exactly like how I imagined California Surfers sounded. Very out of place for this part of the country. I shook the thought from my mind.
“I didn’t, I..”
He shushed me and pointed to the deer.
“Just…watch.”
I’d never seen deer stay still so long.
I strained my eyes to see. The shadows, tilled earth and wilted corn husks broke up the terrain making it hard to see what was hidden in plain sight. I’d see movement then have to dismiss it as wind kicking up gentle curtains of soil or the shifting of a shadow from the small movements in the night.
Slowly a thin sharp shadow moved, followed by another, then another. They moved in concert from that enormous void that had followed me.
The deer stood transfixed before it all happened at once.
A mixture of humanlike screams erupted as each of their bodies were slammed into the ground. Viscera painted the wind. In another moment the light went out and I heard Will sigh.
The wind whistled and died, but we could still hear it out there breathing heavily as it gorged itself. From where I stood I could only see a throbbing silhouette breaking the horizon as it went to work. A crisp snap rang out as it pulled limb by limb from the carcass. The throbbing of the shape slowed as a new sound arose. A contented hum made its presence felt through the rattling of the windows and doors and threatened to overwhelm my own beating heart.
The sound rose as the shape slowly moved closer.
“What do we..”
Will shushed me.
I jumped and stifled a scream as a wet, boneless appendage slammed against the window curiously. The doorknob rattled though this time not from the creatures’ purr but from it’s clumsy efforts to open the door and join us inside.
The ceiling creaked above us under a massive weight.
It groaned as if remembering something and suddenly began moving away back towards the trees. There were no footfalls, just the gently receding sound of a blissful purr.
When it finally entered the world beyond its movements melted into those of the swaying branches becoming indiscernible. The more I tried to focus on it the harder it was to recall its form or the impossibility I’d just witnessed.
Will smiled and patted me on the shoulder sadly, “Welcome to Murkintok.”

Here are my thoughts and suggestions after FT from 2022! It’s in no particular order but I wrote out most everything that I did:
​
— bring the good kind of cough drops (the berry Halls breezers)
— tape for your heels and the back of your feet
— laminate print offs of 9lines and EODs
— bring as many gummy vitamins :)) the good tasting kind! Worth the investment
— small scissors (large ones will be contraband)
— for moleskin make sure you cut it before you go
— I always bandaged my feet the night before to save time (you can do this during foot checks or after lights out of you need to)
— practice EODs. We did a lot of finding IEDs and bombs etc. we did that way more than medical stuff
— for medical stuff, literally just know how to wrap a wound since people get shot. Tourniquet. The basics and you will be good
— be prepared to do tactical scenarios where you are in the woods with paintball guns and you have a mission. The missions are usually find a fallen pilot or find UXOs + IEDs etc (like finding explosives)
— know how to do the 5Cs since we did that a lot
— it’s good to know the basic formations, like wedge, column, line — and know when they are good for. It’s good when you are leading a scenario to call out “now we are doing XYZ formation because…”
— be prepared for long hours on the classroom doing GLPs that are honestly boring. You literally are planning an air show or planning evacuation of people/ aircrafts on an island
— bring a ruler. It’s helpful in some classroom GLPs and it’s helpful for measuring your bed. Your pillow is 12in away from the bed frame to the start of your sheets
— know how to do hospital corners since makes it much faster in the morning
— get good at tying your boots / tucking in the laces. For me when dressing into OCPs, tying my boots took the longest
— remember to always use the 7 basic responses
— KNOW DFAC PROCEDURES! Know the verbiage when you get to the mess checker. Know how to move throughout and the order where you sit. Make sure you know how to sit at attention— especially have your feet at 45 degrees and not looking down or tilting your body
— KNOW HOW TO DO COLUMN OF FILES / building entry procedures. Know the verbiage well!! Know the verbiage if you are an element leader
— be prepared for lots of destination marching. You March everywhere!
— KNOW HOW TO DO COUNTER MARCH!! This is so SO helpful for reveille and retreat
— know how to do a lot of half movements — Column half left and right. It’s very helpful for marching on sidewalks or orienting.
— full column movements are slower because you put your flight in half step after. Hence why I suggest doing column half movements when you can
— my flight didn’t use route step. Check in the DNC how to March on grass and uneven terrain. We did “At ease, march” when we entered grass. Then to get out of it “flight, attention”. If you want to turn, you say “guide, incline 90 degrees to the right “. We would also use “cease guiding” at the end. Check the DNC for marching on sidewalks. We used “Guide, guide right to the right side of the troop walk”— and this would allow you to March on the sidewalk without have to constantly do half movements
— know how to detail march (pretty easy)
— warrior knowledge was not a big part of my FT. Only for the interview and then if you are academic officer. If you are academic officer and your flight is just standing around you can be like: “As academic officer, now would be a great time for some WK! The airman’s creed is as follows…”
— be prepared to have time hacks for EVERYTHING
— know how to write memos! I wish I wrote more memos!! You can write memos to request different things from your CTA/ FTO
— as flight commander, know the process for marching from pace to place. ** 1) always set a time hack (or ask for the time from your time hack — depending on what you do) 2) you need to fall in your flight 3) get accountability from your deputy flight commander 4) then you report accountability to your FTO/ CTA 5) have road guards don your gear 6) turn your flight and get ready to March
— when you see a road up ahead, prepare for putting your road guards out (you will have 4 road guards). Make sure you estimate the time correctly; when in doubt put your flight in “mark time harch” to give your road hoards time to run out and so you don’t just go into the street
— pay attention to where things are since directions as flight commander is a big thing since you are going from place to place
​
— know how to unlock your lock quickly. It can be helpful especially when you have to lock your duffel bag at Vigilant Warrior
— know how to properly fold your duffel bag
— know how to security lock your duffel bag
BEFORE YOU GO:
— make sure you label all of your clothing items and towels. It’s the first letter of your last name and then the last 4 digits your social security number
— bring sharpies and erasable pens!! You will def want erasable pens
— bring a bright colored duck tape. It’s helpful for your flight and putting it on your backpack, etc
— bring extra ziplock bags (different sizes) and trash bags
— *** make sure everything is standardized within your flight. Standardization is a big thing! Make sure your patches are in the right spot, ** especially the flag!! Check to make sure your laces are tucked in. Put your OCPcap on the right pocket, etc
— I brought tiger balm with me and that actually helped me stay awake during some long hours lol

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I was going to be late. I was on the verge of panic, uncertain of where I’d come from or why I was late, but I was going to be late.
Today was supposed to be different. I was sure of it. The start of something new. My only opportunity to move out of my little dead-end corner of Appalachia rested on me arriving for the night shift on time.
I sped over the rolling road in a panic. Dense old growth rushed past in a blur periodically broken by small plots of pasture, apple orchards and fields that a few months earlier were brimming with corn. Shadows danced out there in the dim moonlight and the closer I got to the airfield the more separated from the small outlying town I felt.
My steering wheel was cold and it vibrated wildly in rhythm with my heart. I tapped it impatiently.
The rusted hulk nearly left the road each time I crested a hillock. My suspension groaned under the salt spurred corrosion and strain.
I can get a new car if this all works out.
I nearly missed my turn. Fishtailing, I plodded off the main road onto an aptly named “Airport Drive”.
I came to a halt at the designated stall and turned the car off.
A minute to spare.
I looked out into the darkness beyond the parking area and a tingle ran down my spine. The shadows that were once dancing as I passed were still now and the air oppressive. My hands were tingled with cold yet brimmed with sweat. Before opening the door, I took a few deep breaths, flattened my hair, and made sure my uniform was sharp. Looking into my image in the rearview mirror I cleared my throat.
“Alright buddy. You’ve been drifting from service job to service job in this dying county for half a decade. Somethings got to change. *You’ve* got to change. You’ve got a daughter now, you can’t be out there chasing bar weasels and getting drunk every other night. It’s time to up your game. You aren’t the little boy who had to stand in the corner with his nose to the wall every time you messed up anymore. Now your choices matter for her life too. The pay and experience here are going to help springboard you off into something bigger and brighter. You can do this.”
My car door shrieked open causing the chirping and croaks in the forest around the airfield to briefly fall silent. The crunch of gravel followed me across the unpaved, unmarked parking spaces poorly illuminated by one lonely floodlight. I made my way to the entrance of the terminal and pulled open the door to the chime of an old brass bell.
“Oh, hey buddy.” He glanced at the clock. “You’re early.” Stepping into the room I saw Gus casually looking up from his crossword, bifocals resting on his fat, bright red nose.
“Yessir. I figured maybe if things weren’t too busy we could get started early. I’ve heard night shift can be a lot to take in.”
His brows furrowed and his mouth hung half open.
“Well….alright, I guess. But we’ll be easing you in. Just the basics for the first week.” He held up a finger, “Will and I are gonna rotate each night, until we know you’ve got the hang of it, then we’ll start giving you more responsibilities – if you’re up to it.”
We spent several hours on the night shift responsibilities for the airfield. Many of the duties weren’t too complicated. When we went to the control room at the base of the single tower overlooking the tarmac we flipped several very clearly marked switches turning the runway lights on and off. Then we walked over the several generators tucked away behind baggage claim to check their fuel and oil levels.
“Checking these emergency generators things each night seems a bit overkill, no?” I asked.
Gus smiled. “These aren’t for emergencies. This is our power. Yea, this past winter much to our surprise we found that some of the power poles came down. Some heavy rainfall right before the first snow turned the ground to soup and the just sort of…fell over.”
“They really shouldn’t do that.”
Gus shrugged. “Yea well, corners get cut all over the place. Damn things still aren’t back up, so here we are.”
As we walked back over to the portables for baggage claim and arrivals/departures. Another tingle ran down my spine. Instinctively I looked around and caught sight of something out in the dark. It was the feeling of being watched. I tried to focus my eyes on the darkness. I saw some gently pulsating shadows near the trees but nothing more.
The chirping and croaks were nowhere to be heard and I shivered.
“Come on kid, I ain’t got all night.”
I came to and trotted over to where Gus had stopped. “Sorry, I thought I saw…something.”
We continued onward, restocking the restrooms, went over baggage tagging and safe lifting procedures and the other mundane parts of preparing for the night’s departures and arrivals.
Finally, we wrapped up my first training session with perimeter checks.
Gus’ labored breathing alternated with his footfalls on the blacktop as we walked down the small runway.
“Every 3 hours you are going to be making this walk.” He gestured around. “You start over at the ATC tower and head out to the tree line, then follow that parallel to the tarmac until you pass the last of the landing lights and keep going until you hit the transmission shack. Don’t get distracted and go off following the transmission lines. Had a guy do that a year or two ago and it took us a week only to find his ass mumbling by the side of the road talking about the linemen – boy wasn’t right after that.”
He paused thoughtfully for a moment.
“Anywho, after the transmission shack you hook right following the shore of the river until you hit Eddie’s orchard then head back. You’ll pass his cornfield and follow that until you see the two terminal portables, then you check the parking lot and come back to the office to enter it all in the logbook. Just need to make sure there ain’t nothing out there that shouldn’t be.”
We continued walking in silence for a few minutes. “So what do I do if I find something? Are we looking for the Wilson boys or something? I thought they stopped causing trouble after you…”
“Well, you need to enter it in the logbook for one.”
“Bears? What do I do if it’s bears?”
He stopped. “Bears? What the hell are you rambling about? We don’t get bears this time of year. Oh, and be sure to bring your bear spray.”
“Even though there aren’t bears?”
“It’s under the counter next to the logbook.” He paused again. “If you see any wildlife, just take the truck out there and honk at it to get it away from the runway. Be sure to use your high beams, too. Very important. You see any people you get back to the office and call the Sheriff – don’t need to be a hero. You hear anything weird out there in the dark you leave it be, if it’s off property it’s not our problem.”
“Any questions?” he asked as we got back to the office.
A few.
“No, I’m good.”
“Great, Will’s in the control tower if anything comes up. No flights scheduled for tonight so it should be awfully quiet. Here’s the keys to the castle. Adios.”
He placed a massive key ring into my hand that had more keys than there were doors on the property and took off.
I sat down behind the counter, looked at the broken clock and sighed.
I was able to knock out the task list before midnight and had 6 more hours to kill before the end of my shift. There was no cell service, because of course not. I tried reading an old Town and Country magazine I found stashed under the desk and found most of the pages had been covered in circles and doodles by someone who must have been just as bored as I was on some unknown shift prior.
I decided to sweep up and clean the counters to keep myself busy and after I was done it was only 12:15.
I groaned.
The silence was oppressive. Outside the window was an empty, dark expanse with a slowly strobing series of red lights marking the flight line. I felt safer indoors but even then as I stared into the dark something felt off. If I turned my gaze from the windows I could see something out of the corner of my eyes. Branches swaying in the breeze.
There was no wind here.
12:34.
I pulled the logbook out from its shelf and placed it on the counter entering my start time, grabbed my flashlight and headed out into the frigid night.
The occasional whistling of the wind punctuated my footfalls. I passed red light posts every few yards on a never-ending runway. I kept walking for what felt like half an hour, losing count of the lights I’d passed. I turned back out of curiosity and still saw the slowly receding light of the air traffic control tower confirming that yes, all was well. After the runway ended I continued into the dark until coming to the boarded up transmission shack and the power lines that ran off into the forest.
I came the edge of the marsh and began following it. Minutes passed. I turned to get my bearings on the tower and found it’s lonely beacon, but I also noticed a void in the dark – not a blackness per-se, black is a color. No, it was a complete lack of color, a hole in existence out past the power lines. It was getting larger.
I picked up my pace.
I got to the orchard and looked back finding that the lights were out. All of them were out. And that thing in the forest was growing near.
I stood there and watched it for several minutes waiting for it to move. It didn’t.
I turned back now walking as fast as I could. After a dozen yards I stopped and turned around.
It was closer, I was sure of it. Much closer.
I turned and began to jog forgetting everything Gus had told me. It was gaining on me.
Now I was in a full-blown run down the flight line, glancing back every few moments, still unable to see it but sure it was there. The thing that had been watching me since I got here. The thing that drove a cold shock down my spine. This was it.
My legs pumped like pistons and the sting of cold air shot through my chest with each strained, gasping breath.
I passed the recently harvested cornfield, in which stood two perfectly still Deer judging me for my frantic escape.
It was gaining on me.
Finally I came to the portables. I slammed into the nearest door but it stood firm. I slammed my shoulder into it three more times and it didn’t budge. I remembered my key chain.
I pulled it out and started flipping through the keys. *too many keys*.
First key. No.
Second key. No.
Third key. No.
The fourth key worked, the tumbler clicked and I was in. Slamming the door back in place, I frantically locked it.
My hands were shaking and even though I was panting, I went to the window. The void cast long shadows across the field as it stood transfixed not on me, but on the deer.
“Shhhh” a man’s voice whispered from behind me.
“Oh SWEET JESUS FU-“ I screamed as a hand clamped down on my mouth.
“SHHH.” Sharper this time, commanding. “It’s me.” Will whispered, releasing his hand from my mouth.
“What..” I replied quietly as I turned to see him using his phone to maneuver the drone. “What’s going on? You scared the shit out of me. Nice to meet you by the way I’m..”
He smiled, “You gotta be more careful buddy, Didn’t Gus tell you not to go out into the woods?” Now that I could hear him clearly, his odd vowel pronunciation took me off guard. He’d fit right in, in Venice beach. Surfers. He sounded exactly like how I imagined California Surfers sounded. Very out of place for this part of the country. I shook the thought from my mind.
“I didn’t, I..”
He shushed me and pointed to the deer.
“Just…watch.”
I’d never seen deer stay still so long.
I strained my eyes to see. The shadows, tilled earth and wilted corn husks broke up the terrain making it hard to see what was hidden in plain sight. I’d see movement then have to dismiss it as wind kicking up gentle curtains of soil or the shifting of a shadow from the small movements in the night.
Slowly a thin sharp shadow moved, followed by another, then another. They moved in concert from that enormous void that had followed me.
The deer stood transfixed before it all happened at once.
A mixture of humanlike screams erupted as each of their bodies were slammed into the ground. Viscera painted the wind. In another moment the light went out and I heard Will sigh.
The wind whistled and died, but we could still hear it out there breathing heavily as it gorged itself. From where I stood I could only see a throbbing silhouette breaking the horizon as it went to work. A crisp snap rang out as it pulled limb by limb from the carcass. The throbbing of the shape slowed as a new sound arose. A contented hum made its presence felt through the rattling of the windows and doors and threatened to overwhelm my own beating heart.
The sound rose as the shape slowly moved closer.
“What do we..”
Will shushed me.
I jumped and stifled a scream as a wet, boneless appendage slammed against the window curiously. The doorknob rattled though this time not from the creatures’ purr but from it’s clumsy efforts to open the door and join us inside.
The ceiling creaked above us under a massive weight.
It groaned as if remembering something and suddenly began moving away back towards the trees. There were no footfalls, just the gently receding sound of a blissful purr.
When it finally entered the world beyond its movements melted into those of the swaying branches becoming indiscernible. The more I tried to focus on it the harder it was to recall its form or the impossibility I’d just witnessed.
Will smiled and patted me on the shoulder sadly, “Welcome to Murkintok.”

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So, I just finished watching Nick Hodges' video on 1917, which is very good, and which you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpP5mRgsls
This is a post about the things he and his writeresearcher missed. To be clear, I agree with him that 1917 is a very good movie and worth watching (and, I DID add it to my movie collection), but as a specialist, some of the errors are just a bit more hard for me to miss (which does, at times, make it difficult to enjoy WW1 movies the way non-specialists can).
So, things Mr. Hodges missed:

1. The date (April 6, 1917). I've seen some hints that the original script was set in March, which would make much more sense for what appears on screen. But, the shift in month makes a few parts of the movie rather comical from a historical point of view. Among other things, you have speculation about the next big push coming up. The thing is that the preliminary bombardment for the Battle of Arras would have been going on for two days at this point (it started at 6:30 AM on April 4th). They would have been able to hear it from where they were in the line. (See Capt. Cyril Falls, Military Operations France & Belgium 1917 Volume 1.)
   
2. The British trenches have a lot that's wrong. For one thing, you have telephone wire running into the front line trenches. This wasn't done by 1917 - the wire had to be buried to prevent it from being cut by artillery fire, and the Germans had technology that could listen into what was being said over buried telephone wires (which was discovered when they started greeting incoming units by name). So, by 1917 all of the telephones had been pulled out of the British front lines. (See E.E. Priestly, The Signal Service in the European War of 1914 to 1918 (France).) You also have a front-line unit having been in the line long enough to forget what day it was. This also didn't happen. The British were very good about not keeping units in the front lines for more than a few days per month, and most units only spent around 3-4 days in there. After that, they would be rotated out for leave, training, and manual labour in the rear. (See Gordon Corrigan, Mud, Blood and Poppycock for a good discussion of this.)
   
3. The entry into the trenches of the 2nd Devons - trenches in movies are almost always wrong and do not have a proper traverse system (I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen them done right, and one was in a Doctor Who episode), but that's not the problem here (well, at least not the one I want to talk about). The problem here is that you have troops entering the trenches within sight of the front lines - this would get them shot. Now, everything in the movie is smaller than the real Western front would have been, since you can't spend an half an hour to an hour watching them walk through trenches just to get to a briefing, but this is particularly bad. The second wave entering the trench to queue up should have been mowed down as they approached.
   
4. The attack is all wrong. By 1917 the British weren't using these sorts of human waves anymore. They were, in fact, using a platoon system. And, they would have been advancing behind a creeping barrage (which had become the standard tactic at the time). The irony here is that the military advisor they hired actually DID train the extras to do it properly, and then the director completely disregarded that for the shot - see the comment by Joseph Harris, who WAS one of these extras, in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpP5mRgsls ). And, for a good source on this, see Paddy Griffith, Battle Tactics on the Western Front: The British Army`s Art of Attack, 1916-18.
   
5. There is one key point where I think Mr. Hodges is wrong, and that is where he suggests that the attack by the 2nd Devons is inspired by the Battle of Arras - and no, it really wasn't. The Battle of Arras was a major campaign that, among other things, saw the taking of Vimy Ridge by my countrymen in the Canadian Corps. It wasn't an improvised battle. What it was almost certainly inspired by were what were called "straightening the line" attacks. These could be ordered on a field commander's authority, and the point was to take the enemy line and add it to your own (hence, "straightening the line"). This happened a lot during WW1, particularly during battles like the Somme and Passchendaele (and as I recall both Peter Hart and Nick Lloyd have written about this in their respective books, The Somme and Passchendaele: The Lost Victory of World War I, on the subject). Another possible source of inspiration might be the mobile warfare in the last half of 1918, once the German spring offensives had been stopped and the British were driving the Germans back (and, in some cases, outrunning their artillery, and for this see Peter Hart, The Great War: A Combat History of the First World War). But, what you see in the movie really wasn't a thing that happened in 1917 - 1917 was a year of set-piece battles and bite-and-hold tactics.
   

So, as I said, it's a good movie, albeit with some inaccuracies, and Nick Hodges did a very good video on it. He just missed a couple of things that you wouldn't necessarily know about unless you had spent a decent amount of time steeped in the war.

Hey my name is Russ, I’m a 24 year old male bass player in the Denver area searching for a drummer who wants to create a new original sound and perform it. Someone who is a creator, who doesn’t just want what’s in front of them, and truly strives to make great art. Someone who has a sense of the bigger picture, while still being a grounded person when it comes to things. I am pretty versatile, time-flexible, own all my equipment (including a car, my own gear, and some recording equipment) I’m all about pushing the envelope, and have no interest in our limitations!
We’re looking for an open minded all encompassing band that wants to jam, improvise, experiment, and hone our sound with the songs and ideas we create! A band that can deliver loud/thrashing/heavy bangers with thundering guitar riffs, all while still being able to showcase slowemoodieemotional/acoustic material as well. We just need an all-around solid person, who also has a strong drive and enthusiasm to create and play music.
I’m currently working with a guitarist/vocalist on original material at the moment. We have a full set list of this original material, and have played a handful of shows to date. If I had to give you a basic idea of what we may sound like, I’d say our material at the moment sounds most similar to the band Turnstile. We’re really about having a good groove/rhythm to our songs, which is why we’re looking for someone who can really lock in with the drums and take this to the next level.
We’d like to form a band that draws from a variety of different elements. Yes the title of the listing says punk rock band, but we’re not trying to put ourselves entirely in a box like that. Like how bands like The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Alice In Chains, queens of the Stone Age, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, and Soundgarden aren’t limited to just one particular tone/style/formula.
These bands listed have multiple sounds that convey a variety of emotions and ideas! Led Zeppelin isn’t just Immigrant Song, Black Dog, Heartbreaker, and Dazed and Confused. They also play No Quarter, Ten Years Gone, Over The Hills and Far Away, The Rain Song, and Kashmir
Some of my personal largest influences include: The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, Velvet Underground, Smashing Pumpkins, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Queens of the Stone Age, Nirvana, The Beatles, The Black Keys, Radiohead, Rage Against The Machine, Metallica, Mad Season, Dead Meadow, Aerosmith, arctic monkeys.
Call or text me at 724-919-3694 if you’re interested.
This first link is a single we just recently recorded at Ghost House Studios in Denver. The other links are from a previous band, just to get an idea of my bass style.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Vu0hRw0etj3r7YaqbNvZSgWmfyzRFK7O/view?usp=drivesdk
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs5RinWttmE&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=6
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x8XZ5V-hbUs&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=2
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YTObZmbsDuc&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=3
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1FKtfxXRY1Q&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=8

Hey my name is Russ, I’m a 24 year old male bass player in the Denver area searching for a drummer who wants to create a new original sound and perform it. Someone who is a creator, who doesn’t just want what’s in front of them, and truly strives to make great art. Someone who has a sense of the bigger picture, while still being a grounded person when it comes to things. I am pretty versatile, time-flexible, own all my equipment (including a car, my own gear, and some recording equipment) I’m all about pushing the envelope, and have no interest in our limitations!
We’re looking for an open minded all encompassing band that wants to jam, improvise, experiment, and hone our sound with the songs and ideas we create! A band that can deliver loud/thrashing/heavy bangers with thundering guitar riffs, all while still being able to showcase slowemoodieemotional/acoustic material as well. We just need an all-around solid person, who also has a strong drive and enthusiasm to create and play music.
I’m currently working with a guitarist/vocalist on original material at the moment. We have a full set list of this original material, and have played a handful of shows to date. If I had to give you a basic idea of what we may sound like, I’d say our material at the moment sounds most similar to the band Turnstile. We’re really about having a good groove/rhythm to our songs, which is why we’re looking for someone who can really lock in with the drums and take this to the next level.
We’d like to form a band that draws from a variety of different elements. Yes the title of the listing says punk rock band, but we’re not trying to put ourselves entirely in a box like that. Like how bands like The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Alice In Chains, queens of the Stone Age, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, and Soundgarden aren’t limited to just one particular tone/style/formula.
These bands listed have multiple sounds that convey a variety of emotions and ideas! Led Zeppelin isn’t just Immigrant Song, Black Dog, Heartbreaker, and Dazed and Confused. They also play No Quarter, Ten Years Gone, Over The Hills and Far Away, The Rain Song, and Kashmir
Some of my personal largest influences include: The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, Velvet Underground, Smashing Pumpkins, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Queens of the Stone Age, Nirvana, The Beatles, The Black Keys, Radiohead, Rage Against The Machine, Metallica, Mad Season, Dead Meadow, Aerosmith, arctic monkeys.
Call or text me at 724-919-3694 if you’re interested.
This first link is a single we just recently recorded at Ghost House Studios in Denver. The other links are from a previous band, just to get an idea of my bass style.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Vu0hRw0etj3r7YaqbNvZSgWmfyzRFK7O/view?usp=drivesdk
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs5RinWttmE&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=6
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x8XZ5V-hbUs&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=2
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YTObZmbsDuc&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=3
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1FKtfxXRY1Q&list=PLqoJLiaH96Eg8Dhq0NWdvH1SKT5W5m-O2&index=8

So along with my "I'm stupid" post I have discovered another thing that I did not know would affect Klipper prints as much as it does. I have spent all day trying to figure out why I was getting a butt load of filament at the start of each layer during my calibration cube print. I double checked the extruder calibration and when I command 100mm of filament I get 100mm of filament. So, I was scratching my head and thought well I have not completed pressure advance yet maybe that needs to be done. It helped but the print were still a face only a mother could love. In my scrub of the internet, forum, discord, and reddit someone mentioned a setting that some slicers have about extra filament at start of...... I use Orca and it wasn't enabled. While I was messing with the slicer I figured I would change the retract settings because I have a DD now. Low and behold that was the cause of this monstrosity called a calibration cube. I went from 6mm retraction to 1mm. This, for some reason, does not affect Marlin as much as Klipper. So, if you are coming from Marlin to Klipper and also change from bowden to DD and can't figure out why your print is so ugly you want to kick your dog, double check the retract settings.
Yes, I know there is more calibration I have to do especially flow rate for this filament, but at least I can look at this print and not hate my mom,
​
Left - 6mm retraction, no pressure advance.
Center - 6mm retraction and pressure advance.
Right - 1mm retraction and pressure advance
​
https://preview.redd.it/4z16cb1m0x3b1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86eee63d02b819cbdf7a2a13a758bd019ed2559d