Good job gif

I'm not sure if this belongs here, but I couldn't think where else I should post it. (Also, on mobile so I apologize in advance for spelling/grammar mistakes.)
TL;DR - what the title says
My childhood bff, whom I have known for over forty years, is really struggling these last couple of weeks. She's got her bills paid, but was laid off from her second (part-time) job, so her income has dropped.
She really is a very kind, big-hearted person, who loves dogs most, but loves all animals. She recently (3 months ago?) ended her relationship with an abusive, narcissistic, self-important, d!ckHæd. In doing that, she also lost her transportation, because he was the owner of "their" car. She now rides her bike, takes the bus or utilizes an Uber... whichever is best at the moment, depending where she needs to go.
As I was speaking to her a few days ago, I discovered she had been visiting food pantries to get by for several weeks. So often that they are now telling her that she can't come back until specific dates. (There are several in the area, but not many, and its their way of preventing abuse of the system.) Today, I found out she's been eating saltiness and water for 4 days, and fed her beloved dog the last of its food. (She's had the doggo for 6 years)
I don't live near her. I'm a 3.5 hour drive away, and it just isn't feasible today. So... I put in a Walmart Grocery delivery order for her. She knows I'm sending a bag of dog food. And she said she could get by with some frozen fries and a bag of frozen chicken nuggets. I couldn't do it... I mean I couldn't send JUST that. I ended up sending a 30 pound bag of dog food, and spent $135 on food. I planned the delivery so she'll get the order in about an hour and a half, after she is home from work. I'm excited for her to see it all, because I know she'll appreciate it, but nervous because I think it might make her cry. The jerk she was with had her so beat down emotionally, it seems like she feels she doesn't deserve to be treated nicely, or to have good things happen to them. I'm not rich or well off by any means, but my fiancé and I are comfortable enough financially, that it allows me to do this for her. I wish i could do more. I mean, she's been my bff since age 11, and I love her like a sister.

A huge number of people will leave reddit altogether if 3rd party apps shut down because a lot of them hate the normal app that much. Our only hope is if someone buys Apollo and other 3rd party apps and it’s not very likely.
For me and many other creators, reddit is our main source for promoting. About 98% of my subs come from here. We need to start finding different sites and way to promote. Go ahead and start figuring it out before it’s too late. Just yesterday I started trying to learn how to actually grow bigger on Tiktok, so i don’t have any useful knowledge yet.
I would like for this post to be a place we can all come and help each other find other ways we can promote. Even if reddit doesn’t end up taking a massive L, it will help us. Most of us know TT is good but not everyone knows how to do it, and personally that’s the only other decent way i know how to promote.
Lots of us, including me, rely on this and for some of us getting a “normal job” may not even be an option (not the point here, i don’t feel like going over for the 100th time everything wrong with me and why i can’t work any job i would be technically qualified for)
So please, if you have any info or questions, please please let’s discuss it! We are all in this together.

Hello all,
After job hunting for 5 months I finally landed a position with a service company. During the interview they seemed legit and their reviews are 5/5.
I tried going the union route but unfortunately the wait list is 1.5 years here so I decided to get the ball rolling and do non union. I am taking classes twice a week as well.
The starting pay is $18 during the 90 day probation period. It threw me off track because that’s super low, especially for the cost of living here in California. They said it would go up to $25 after 90 days.
What do you guys think? Luckily I have a ok savings and my fiancé is supporting this career change for me (I’m 31) and she makes good money.
I’ve been excited to start I just want your opinion to see if the pay they are offering me is fair?

I am currently in a health care (graduate level) school but I cannot say because I do not want to be identified.
Several months ago I quit working for this hospital because the department kept writing me up for things. I would admit that I have made some mistakes, but overall I was a good worker. I picked up many shifts, trained people, got along with all of my coworkers. Heck, I practically worked almost full time last summer even though I was prn. But I guess I wasn't on Management's good side. So I quit before they had the chance to fire me. Once someone gets fired from that hospital chain, all the other hospitals within that chain can see if one got fired, and this particular hospital chain owns many hospitals across the U.S. In fact, I think they are the biggest hospital chain. Let's just call this hospital chain "Cetaphil" for anonymity.
Recently I decided to apply to another hospital. I applied to the student position. I got rejected. I reached out for clarification, and they said that the feedback from my former employer wasn't great.
What The Heck! I did not put any references on my application, nor did the application ever ask for any. I specifically avoided hospitals under the Cetaphil chain for this very reason. This was the only non-Cetaphil hospital hiring within a 50 mile radius.
I thought it was illegal for former employers to badmouth former workers. Aren't they just supposed to confirm that I worked there? If I specifically put down a manager for a reference then I sorta understand, but are they supposed to give out this information.
And to make matters worse. This is a teaching hospital and the hospital is directly next to my school (literally the buildings are connected). I walk through this hospital to get to class and once in a while one of the staff would do a lecture in our classes. So not only I was rejected because my former employee gave me a bad rep, I have to be reminded of the situation every time I go to class. I think even some of my professors work for that school.
It was really distressing when I found out why I was rejected. And its discouraging me from continuing school. If I can't even get a student position, how am I supposed to get a job or a residency after I graduate. Tuition is literally 15K per semester. I don't know what mistake I made, working for my former employer, or pursuing a career in this field in general. This past semester was so hard, and I was super sleep deprived. I had to do a month internship 8hrs, 5 days a week in a town over an hour away (no we were not paid). What if I did all this work, and sacrificed so much for nothing? For me to either drop out, or graduate with over 100K in student debt and not even get a job?
It's just upsetting. Literally this profession is really competitive and absolutely no one can afford a bad rep and my former employer knows it. If they don't want me to work for them, I am fine with that, but they can't go out of their way to screw me over when I try to start over again and improve myself.
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I am 26 year old woman. Throughout my life I have always been a naturally confident and outgoing person, it was something just natural for me. I was that person who took school and university seriously and thrived. All my jobs I have had since graduating universiity were all WFH because a lot offices in my city have kept the policy post pandemic. I have struggled with WFH
I got fired earlier this year from my first ever full and serious job since graduating university and it has damaged my confidence so much. I worked in the housing sector.
Before I got fired the job role itself was very challenging it was doing resident complaint handling. I really wanted to help the people in my cases but it was hard due to the fact the organisation had lots of issues with the management and bureaucracy. The organisation has been in the news a couple of times over its controversial management and not supporting residents housing problems. The department I worked in was very target driven culture and management used to criticise me for not closing cases quickly even though the cases I had ongoing repair issues. So much kept going wrong at work. I really wanted to be a good employee.
I struggled to fit in at work being the youngest and my colleagues were not nice people. Someone who I thought was a friend at work and trusted gossiped about me to everyone else at work while pretending to be my friend. This woman is a mother whoose kids are the same age as me which makes it more disturbing. Her gossip spread and made my life at work absolute hell because the humiliation she put me through. My boss blamed me for bringing "nothing but problems" to the department ever since I arrived. His criticism was so brutal. I take things personally unfortunately.
I got fired for underperforming and not meeting the organisations high standards of good customer service. Since getting fired I feel like I am not good enough anymore for anything and I am scared of getting fired again. If I get another job I will feel have to pretend to be someone else so I can fit in with everyone else.
The jobcentre just keep giving me stress and so much pressure to find work quickly.

I’m a Member of Parliament in a small country in Europe. I am in my late twenties, I have a Master’s degree & I first ran for office in late 2019. So, I’ve been doing this for about 3.5 years now, with ~2 years left until the end of my mandate. Before this, I had one full-time job in sales/marketing (which I got right out of college & where I worked for 2 years). So, my CV looks like this: internships/summer jobs during college, 2 years in sales/marketing, and then politics.
Although I was initially excited about this role, I realized there isn’t much I can do to make a change, and I feel like I don’t fit in at all in these circles. I feel like being in politics has killed my spirit. I have no motivation to do this, I kinda just do it cuz I committed to it & don’t want to seem ungrateful to my political party who helped me get to where I am (politically). I desperately want to go back to a career in the private sector, but I feel like I may have killed my chances at a good job because of my political involvement, both because I am now known for my political views & because of my “gap” in my resume. Technically there is no gap, but I feel like employers may not consider my being an MP as a “real job” experience.
Do you think I have a chance to get back to building a career in the private sector without starting from scratch? Like I said, I am in my late twenties & don’t know if I am willing to go through internships & entry level jobs again.
By the way, I am also able to work part-time while being an MP, but I can’t get myself to apply to jobs because of fear of failure. I don’t even know what kind of a career I can have at this point. Help!

Hi! I’m going to have some additional questions I’m sure but my credit card debt has snowballed - I wouldn’t mind paying the minimum payments for a long time but I may be getting laid off from my job and unemployment wouldn’t cover the payments. If I got a personal loan to pay off my credit card bills, would that affect my credit? Would it increase my credit score because my credit utilization has gone down? Also, are pre approval numbers accurate? Discover gave me pre approval for 20.99% - this isn’t good but my credit score is around 660 right now so it’s probably the best I can do. If this is accurate, my payment would be around $550 a month instead of the $750 I pay for my cards now. Also, I know I need to change my spending habits - I’m planning this for a worst case scenario situation.
Thanks!

Our Towns Big Dam Problem [Part 1]
Do you know how some decisions in life just feel so right? Imagine a nice warm pizza right out of the oven. The pizza is covered in gooey cheese, warm meats, and whatever else will delight the eyes and nose so late into the night. So image, if you will, going out for just the briefest of seconds to enjoy the crisp feel of the fall air on your face. You come back to the apartment building that you, and appropriately 50 or 60 of your neighbors call home, only to find smoke billowing down the halls as you suddenly remember that you turned on the burner, and not the oven to preheat, and the smoke is from that pizza you left on the stove.
If you feel like burrowing down the deepest hole after reading that, just remember that you are not alone. In the last week, I have taken a job at a hydroelectric power station as an operator, which at the time felt like an easy no-brainer decision. The job description was nothing if not a little enticing. There was a hefty sign-on bonus, more money than even I thought I was worth, and housing courtesy of the Corps of Engineers, which consider the aforementioned fire above, I needed pretty badly.
My name is Kate Fugate, I am 24, and in so, so much, debt that I have moved to a small town in the northern Appalachia wilderness hoping to carve out a life here. The town is very small, having a few local stores primary consisting of convenience stores, gas stations, and dollar stores. The town is deeply forested and has recently had the honor of having this vast area be designated a National park. The houses are sandwiched into a sharp valley, consisting of a river, sprawling train tracks, and speckled with bridges of all makes and builds. If you were to come here at night, and I very much doubt you would be here at night, you might also take notice of the emergency room-slash-post office combination with twinkling neon lights. If you plan on staying here for very long, and once again, I doubt it, you should get to know the staff.
The main attraction, and the reason that I am christening this journal, is that as much as I would like to believe otherwise, this place is weird but we will get into that more a bit later. What should be the most prominent feature of the town, the dam, is actually not in town. It is about 15 miles upstream, hidden on an unmarked road nestled in a forgotten corner of the park. This fortress spans the length of the river from hill to hill, and is a huge concrete wall with an office building made of brick and a stunningly massive art -deco window spanning the two floors of this structure neatly tucked off the side like an after thought. There are massive, brilliant flood lights spanning the entire length of the dam and stretching pretty far upstream.
The concept is pretty simple, water goes in, spins turbines, and comes out on the other side, and creates the miracles that we all know and love: electricity. In addition, this place prevents flooding and is an all-around great place for serving the town as an early indicator for fires and other disasters. To make matters even more excruciatingly boring and downright fucking frustrating is that there no cell or internet connections to the dam or the cabin nearby that I get to call home. The formal answer I got back for this pile of fake manure is that the cell tower determined the population to “insignificant” to put a cell tower in this area, which I can almost buy. The sorry excuse for the internet is that the park service determines this spot too high of a national security threat and doesn’t want the risk of Russians destroying the place or something, this reasoning being absolutely shit if you ask me.
In order to still get a tiny shred of civilization, I have to climb a stairway to heaven itself up a fire tower, on a hill to get just enough Wi-Fi to keep some semblance of sanity. And let me tell you, my ass is burning, my tounge is dry, and my lungs are one iota from exploding from the effort, and it is worth it.
My first day here started off with my coworker, Sam, showing up two hours late for our designated meeting. He was dressed in bright white pants and a striped plunging v-neck tiger shirt and I would be lying if I didn’t say my first impression was trying to find a camera crew, because I was just certain that someone was trolling with me. He was average height, approximately 35, black hair, blue eyes, and very well groomed hair, and huge muscular arms and, all-in-all, gave off an energy that he thought he was a very pretty boy.
We shake hands, before he cocks his head and give me a quizzical look, “Hey I noticed on your paperwork, is your name actually —“
I cut him off hard and fast, “Yes, it is. My parents were a bit, well, downright eccentric, alright? Don’t use that name, don’t even remember it alright. Do me a favor and call me Kate, Katie if you prefer.”
He looks a bit taken aback and I feel a shred of remorse for the hostility, “Can do, may name is Samuel Carrington but Sam sounds more approachable if you wouldn’t mind using that.”
We take a quick tour of the facility going into the offices, him quickly pointing out the landlines, emergency switches, exits, ect. He goes over the more technical aspects of the job, but then stops right before going into the turbine room, looks me dead in the eye with more seriousness than I thought was possible.
“There are only a handful of rules you absolutely must follow:
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1. 1. Treat the equipment well, it is fucking EXPENSIVE and a lot of it is specialized. There is no hydroectric repair store just sitting around the corner.
2. 2. Do not leave the site. I am dead serious about this one. Do. Not. Leave. The. Site. The only time you can leave is if you have someone competent here. I am only here two days a week as I have other obligations with the government, as you know the rest is up to you until we can get more people here.
3. 3. Don‘t turn off the turbines for any reason. There are people downstream that stake their lives on the continual operation of this place.
4. 4. If, for whatever reason, this place can not operate due to exceptional circumstances, or can no longer contain the river you must activate the emergency system. In addition to letting out an alert, it allows for people to know in advance to get to higher ground. This is critical, we are the only thing preventing everyone downstream a brutal watery demise.“

We head continue the turbine room talk about more dull operating procedures and then stop by a small office space.
Sam stops and swings open the door which reveals all of a tiny efficiency apartment. “This is my room while I am here, if you need anything feel free to swing by.” He gives me a wink as I contemplate vomiting on his stupid gold tasseled shoes “We have a cabin for you since no other apartments exist and it was left furnished by my last guy.”
We walk a short gravel path uphill to a small old cabin with a porch. He swings open the door, leaving very little to the imagination. Bed and mattress, fridge, stove, fill nearly all the available space. Right smack in the middle of the table sits a pissed off mostly hairless cat, that jumps off the table gives us a hiss for good measure and runs off into the woods.
“Look, we can probably get rid of that if you want. I have no clue how it got in here, or hey, look at it this way! You already have a built in roommate! Feel free to decorate this place anyway you want, if you want I can go get us some food, and I can help you move in. Tomorrow I can go on a grocery run.”
I open the cabinet to find an assortment of canned oddities left over from the last occupant.
“No, that really won’t be necessary, but thank you so much for the offer.” I say trying to be nice. And then the thought occurred to me that this guy is being perhaps a bit too friendly. “Hey, is it alright if I have some, umm, well, overnight friends over? Very special female friends?” I asked trying to be subtle to see if that would discourage him.
“Well douse me in gasoline and toss me a match. Are you a lesbian? That is so freaking awesome! I love chicks too, how cool is that? I shoulda known what with the flannel and pickup truck.” He says, totally oblivious to my growing acceptance that this guy was mostly harmless, if not a touch stupid. Sam cracks open the fridge, and rapidly shuts it back, as a slightly warm pungent smell swaggers into the room. “Yeah, definitely gonna get some real groceries tomorrow.”
“Yep, that’s me, I’m a super lesbian.” I lie feeling like this statement may come back and haunt me. I turn on the kitchen facet as black water spills out.
Sam looks at it a little concerned, “Might want to let that run for a bit, if it doesn’t clear soon, I’ll look into having it fixed. But look, seriously, if you need any help at all, don’t hesitate to call. This place is pretty spooky and it is easy to get hurt or in trouble out here. I’ve only been here about 3 months and my last coworker got pretty messed up. I liked him pretty well and it is an easy, if not boring job but it can take a toll.” Sam stepped out on the porch shooting a slightly nervous look at the woods before looking back at me.
I waved him out, “It is alright, I’m fine, I can take care of myself. I will see you bright and early in the morning.” Sam nodded at me with me with a warm smile and made the short trek back to the dam.
Night swiftly fell, and I was clutching my stomach off loading the contents into the porcelain alter for a cruel sadistic god. I hadn’t checked the expiration date too closely before downing a can of beef tounge I had found in the cabinets, which in retrospect was such a fuckingly stupid move on my part. I stepped back into the main living area to see just a swift glint of metal, before listening to the “Crash” as my widow was busted in and a hand swiftly unlocked the door from the inside.
“Shit, this is real bad.” My brain thought. As my body tensed for a fight, in walked a figure in a green ranger uniform. The guy was 26-27, 5’11, light brown hair, green eyes, fair skin. He looked absolutely furious but satisfied.
“I got you now, you jackass arsonist.” He says, grabbed me by the arms and tossing me on a stuffed chair hard. I feel a flash of pain on my ass as I land. “Damn, I realllly hope that wasn’t a needle.” I think as jump back up. Now, he looked back at me with with sheer bewilderment in his eyes. “OH shit, oh shit, I am gonna die.” I feel dread sneak into me as scramble looking around.
I take up a knife from the counter and plunge it into his hand. He lets out a yelp and given me a kick to my already twisted stomach. ”This is it.” I think as I land on the ground, and take the chance to grab his leg while it is still in the air. I push forward as he stumbles backwards.
“Wait, but your not -“ he tries to slide out of the cabin but I pull down his socks and bite like a rabid dog, with all the energy I had. I taste a glint of metal. He starts really letting his lungs work now before coming to his senses again and grabs a fire extinguisher off the porch and hits me squarely with it. My vision swiftly faded to white after that.
My next memory has me coming back to consciousness in a hospital room. I am under a blanket with cows on it, and look over to see a shitty thin blue curtain with yellow ducks on it. As I try to piece back my memory, I hear a commotion on the other side of the curtain.
One female voice nearly splitting my ears says, “Are you a dumbass? You look like one to me dumbass. You obviously weren’t thinking, dumbass. God, what a dumbass.”
Another male voice joins in, ”A girl, you beat a harmless girl senseless. And the poor thing was starting the job at the power plant. If you weren’t in already in the hospital, I’d put here, but to be fair that would make Dr. Sanders work harder, and unlike you I actually like the guy.”
An older man wearing a white coat comes in about this time who I presume is the aforementioned individual, gives me the mouth zipping motion, a wink and walks to the other side of the curtain.
“Well, she’s dead. You may as well see your handiwork.” The old doctors says.
A younger voice pipes up, “B-B-But it was an accident. I didn’t mean-“
The curtain flies open to reveal two police officers, a short and slightly heavy male and a tall African American woman. Both looking ready to kill the park ranger in bed with his hand bandaged up. The young man looks at me absolutely horrified. I can’t help but let out a small snicker at the scene.
The white haired doctor cracks up at the look of pure indignation I shoot park ranger.
“She’ll be fine.” He says. The two officers looked a bit more at ease. Dr. Sander then goes on to say after sitting down on the edge of my bed, “You spooked us just a bit there, that one over there” he points to the park ranger, “sprayed you down with a fire extinguisher and caused some temporary asphyxiation.”
The guy piped up, “I am so so so sorry. My name is Reuben, call me Ben. I’m so sorry, I had you mistaken for someone else. I’ll make this up to you. I really really fucked this up. Please don’t hate me,” he says. He was genuine, I fully believed that.
“Glad you said, that Ben, because I’m pretty sure I need a door now. My name is Katie.” I went over and gave him a light smack to the back of the head.
Dr. Sanders gave a puzzled look and picked my chart off the bed, “Wait, isn’t your name -,”.
I stopped him, “Yep, it is, please for the love of all that is holy, just don’t.”
After that, the female officer who’s name I learned was Talia, dropped me back off at the dam the next morning. Sam who had only the vaguest of ideas of what had gone on that night was filled in by Talia of the rest of the details and she quickly leaves afterwards leaving a cloud trail in the gravel.
“Well,” Sam says “I guess this means your leaving.”
“Are you kidding?” I say, “I only just got here.”
Sam cracks a wide smile, “You’re in luck then, I forgot to show you something yesterday.”
We go into the dam, down into the basement under the water level under the turbine rooms. I gasp as I look into the room, it was beautiful. There was a massive window looking out underwater. I could swear for the slightest second though that a fish swam by, displaying three eyes, and a sharp row of teeth. I knew in that moment that this river holds terrible and dark secrets and I had not even dipped toe in them.
This is Katie, signing off, until next time.

Man has my stomach been just taking me for a ride lately. First it was dull kinda weird pain that had me questioning if it was actually pain or not. Now it’s like these sharp stabs in my lower right side. Pretty sure it’s from chugging seltzers but hope that it’s not anything worse. I really hate being a fucking hypochondriac.
Was at an in person job interview today downtown gettin grilled by three different interviewers when all the sudden I felt like I was gonna puke. I had to keep my composure and luckily nothing came of it. I remember reading somebody on here shit themselves in a business meeting and that’s like my worst nightmare (sorry bro). I whipped out some pretty ballsy lines though while I was trying not to vom like “Hey, I’m not gonna sell you on my sales numbers or performance because that speaks for itself and it’s on the paper right in front of you, but what makes me different is the intangibles” or some shit like that idk. Meanwhile I’m sweating my ass off in these proper clothes so I wait for them to leave the room first so they don’t see that the back of my shirt is soaked.
Anyway was thinking of switching to vodka gatorades but idk. My girlfriend said it would help with the stomach shit so maybe I’ll give it a try. I always think about what life would be if I just quit. Yeah maybe I’d feel good but fuck would it be boring. I’m convinced the prospect of having a kid would scare me straight but I’m totally not convinced it would either. I just know I’d want to be more of a role model and not this. I wouldn’t want my kid to see this version of me. Maybe this version of me but drinking like half of what I’m doing now.
Bye y’all.

Cw: Possible animal cruelty or general lack of care torwards animals
I’ve rewrote this post twice trying to keep it as short as possible but it’s a lot…and unhinged.
Basically, my dad got remarried to my SM about 2 years ago. Our relationship has been fine until she voluntarily came to get me from Texas. I never asked to do this, she just didn’t like me and my dad’s plan of switching cars earlier in the month as my car was having issues.
Basically, I just got out the Army through medical retirement after 9 years. It was traumatic, and due to toxic leadership and one of my SOs (who lived with me) not helping and the other two not living in the state, I did not have a savings nor other help to move. Luckily, I ended up finding a good job in DC and my dad was planning to let me use his RV until I could afford to get a place. The only problem was me getting to his house (in GA) as originally, I was going to stay in TX until I could find a job but few of my roller derby teammates/friends showed their true colors and fucked up my mental health and he could not get me as he already had other plans.
From the beginning, SM was very pushy about the trip insisting I should be ready to jump in the car and go as soon as she got there as she had “stuff to do” it was weird and me and my dad kept telling her it wasn’t reasonable, but we chalked it up to stress as she’s never behaved like that towards me before. She gets here and it was straight down hill from there.
Firstly, she knew I had recently got cats. They are essentially my ESAs for my trauma from the military. They only are not formally as I don’t have money to pay for the official paperwork now. SM neglected to tell me that not only does she hate/fear cats, but the person she brought to help drive is allergic. As such, she demanded I keep them in the carrier for the whole 20 hour trip(it’s a large multi cat carrier but they are also harness trained I have seatbelts for them), does not want to give me time to appropriately let them pee, had to be convinced by her friend to let me stop for litter as she had -against my direct instructions- put their litter box in an unreachable locations and refused to let me get it as it would “take to much time”, blamed me for her friends asthma attack when her pills wore off, and would not let me put the third seat down so the carrier would be properly balanced as she didn’t want her cooler to be in the bed of the truck. She also convinces me to get rid of some of my stuff (like just throw it away) as it would take too much time to load it and it took up too much room. This leads to a big argument after I had enough and she basically DARVOs me the entire time and says its fine if they just…piss in their carrier cause we can clean it up later (keep in mind this is not her truck, it’s been paid off for years before she was in the picture, and its my dads dream car). I’m yelling at her, and she just says she just wants me to “compromise”. I say I have, and asked what exactly SM has “compromised” and she says that her letting my cats in the truck at all was her compromise. She refuses to answer when me or her friend asked her directly the alternative was and yells it’s not her responsibility to come up with a solution. Her friend manages to calm us down, and finally make it to GA.
As soon as we get back, she is acting weird and ruder than during the trip. She refuses to give me my dads keys so I can make a copy (I have had a key since he bought the house but he got a new door knob), will not actually let me use my dads truck -despite that being agreed upon well in advance- to the point when my car needed a jump she chose to not jump it with his truck even though it was right next to me and instead drives her car closer to mine to jump it, and is generally pushing me to hurry up and get my stuff out of my dad’s truck/my car and put it in the RV. She also told me that my childhood dog, Blue, and hers are not allowed to free roam the house anymore, and that they are only allowed out of their area during certain points of the day. I’m perplexed but don’t say much and ask if they have leashes so I can take them on a walk at least. She says they aren’t the walking type and basically shoots down any idea I come up with spend time with them outside of just taking them in the front. I don’t like this idea because, I don’t know this new dog and I think she probably won’t listen to me. Because of this, and her rushing me to unpack so much, I tell her I’m going to take Blue upstairs so he can meet my cats and finish unpacking. She doesn’t like this Idea and says she thinks they’ll fight. I say I’m sure it will be fine as Blue is used to cats and my cats aren’t generally assholes. Note: she never said not to, and he is my dog so I thought it was fine.
Well, I guess between the stress of the trip and them not knowing this animal, I was wrong and Jean, one of my cats, swipes at Blue. Its just a surface cut but I’m distraught by this and go downstairs to ask for a med kit to clean it. I apologize a lot and am clearly shaken. SM decides this would be a good time to chastise me and tell me “None of this would have happened if you just listened and followed my rules”. I’m floored but say nothing a go to keep unpacking. Fast forward to later that night, this entire time, she refuses to give me my dad’s keys, locks both doors every time I leave, but gets frustrated when I have to knock or text her to open it (my dad typically leaves the door unlocked during the day as he knows all his neighbors so it was already weird) .
I ended up going to get some food and she isn’t home when I left or answering my messages so I figured she’s busy and leave the house. When I come back the door is locked and she isn’t answering the doorbell, so I text her. She answers the door, again annoyed, after her mom confirms the doorbell rang. I also am texting my SO in Texas at this time an accidentally text SM “this woman is mad she has to open the door for me but won’t give me a key”. Once I realize my mistake, I run downstairs to apologize, and she refuses to open the master bedroom door and is screaming at me through it. I try to talk to her, but she then says to go away as I’ve been talking to everyone behind her back and getting ppl against her. I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about as, at this point, I’ve only told my dad pieces about the fight and that I felt uncomfortable to which we agreed not to tell her we talked til he got back and my SO in TX who she hasn’t met yet (I suspect she was listening to my earlier call as the door upstairs doesn’t fully close). She says other ridiculous stuff, I and decide its best for both of us if I left and went up to North Carolina as I was going to go visit anyway and come back when my dad gets back. I ask her for his flight info as he had asked me to pick him up. She doesn’t answer at all and eventually I get mad and say fine I guess he just won’t get picked up and go to pack.
She goes absolutely nuclear at this and starts screaming a me and tells me I need to go upstairs and go to bed. I tell her no and she point blank calls me a spoiled, manipulative, a liar, and a brat. She alludes very strongly that I’m like (emotionally abusive) mother until I tell her point blank to no speak on her as she’s met her once. She’s calling me all theses things with the justification of my dad doing stuff for me makes me spoiled and that I’m abusive to him and that I have him wrapped around his finger. She says I needs to ask her permission to leave the house for anything as I will always be a child in this house and can’t just come and go as I please and as such was mad that I left for food in the first place. There’re so many unhinged things she said in this fight, to the point that my friend had I called to ask stay with her wires me money just so I don’t have the added stress of doing a 3-hour trip at 11 at night and can be safe. She ends the convo with “Its late, and my voice is and I’m a singer (at their church) and can’t ruin my voice so I’m going to bed. You should do the same but if you choose to leave close the garage and go through the front”. I’m honestly angry and in shock but leave any way. She never texts me the entire 2 days to even see if I made it there despite being upset because she thought me leaving would make my dad mad at her and make her look bad, especially if my car broke down(which luckily didn’t happen but very much could have happened).
The day of his flight comes, and I make my way back to GA. My dad finally got cell signal and had to force her to tell me anything (turns out she refused to tell me because she didn’t know as my dad’s flight got moved). He insists this is just a misunderstanding and wants to have a group talk which goes horribly. She wouldn’t let me tell my side at all, deflects the whole time, and the I discover she told my dad she thought I was drunk during the road trip. After me and my dad talk to his best friend, I discover that his bestie has never liked her, told him not to marry her (including on his wedding day), that this woman has put my dad in debt, and my dad says point blank if not for her sick mom living in the house, he would have left her already. Dad also tells me that none of the rules she listed were legit and he never agreed to them. He then reveals that this behavior, while shocking and unhinged, is probably because he told her that her cousin was not allowed to use his truck without his permission and that I am still the primary recipient on his will for everything, including the house (I had no idea about this).
Needless to say, it’s a lot. He was visibly pissed for a few days and had me fake apologize just to see if her behavior toward me changed and when it did not barely spoke to her. Until… maybe a week in. She started acting friendlier towards me and he seems to be in a better mood. I know he said he had a plan but its hard to see them carrying on like normal with everything. SM goes on a trip on Friday, and I am torn between asking him what he plans to do and leaving him alone. I didn’t come here to ruin his marriage, I just needed help. But at the same time, I feel like her behavior was unforgivable. It especially hurts, because the stress was so much my dad and his friend convinced me to try to get my start date moved because I was visibly stressed and depressed only for my new job instead to rescind their offer. I’m at his house for a bit longer as he asked me to stay so we could spend time after she left, but after that I’m going up to NYC to be with my other partners and try to focus on myself. Keep in mind, all this, is the extremely shortened version.
I read this sub a lot but never thought I'd have anything to say in it, especially for anyone other than my actual mom. I’m at a loss on what to even do or what direction to steer my life in now that she effectively ruined my plan and new beginning.

Hi everyone! My BF (23M) has been going through bouts of depression for years now, even before we were together. It’s pretty cyclical, and while I think it may be bipolar, he says every therapist/counselor says he’s not bipolar. Nonetheless, here’s what’s happening.
My BF will look in the mirror and start spiraling out because he hates the way he looks. To me, he’s the most handsome man in the world, man of my dreams, yada yada yada. He spiraled because he has some fat around his midsection (which is normal?) but I know what it’s like to feel like shit about your body. I just tell him how much I love him and find him attractive. This will spiral to the point where everything is bad: job, friends, etc, in his mind.
I’m aware that he should seek some therapy or mental counseling. But until then, I want to spoil him a bit. I’m asking the men of Reddit: What can women do to help you feel pampered and special?
I did book him a massage. Firstly because he has very bad neck problems from an injury. We’re also both retail workers who are constantly standing and on our feet. I feel like a good 50 min massage would help him both physically with those pains, and help him feel special. What else can I do (that’s relatively cost effective) that will help him feel a little better? How do men like to be pampered?

TLDR: I, like many others, am not happy with my new career. I worked 1 year as a Data Scientist and gained near zero experience. I’ve grown to heavily dislike the tech/IT field. I can’t keep up with the skills and technologies. I am not technical enough nor do I care to keep up. I’ve contemplated going back to school for accounting. Should I make the switch to accounting and get out of tech/IT roles?
This post is partly a rant. I know my dilemma is not unique. I’ve read plenty of other Reddit posts and comments about career dissatisfaction and career indecision. I still feel lost, hopeless, and empty about my career path and it aggravates my anxiety and depression, which is not an uncommon experience. I also know I’m still young and I’m only at the start of my journey, but not knowing makes me scared.
I earned my Math degree in early 2022. My first job was supposed to be a Data Scienctist role, but I did nothing Data Science related. I was at a very well-known government contracting firm. My managers only cared that I find billable work. They placed me on a software development team to keep me afloat- it was not a good fit. In between taking Udemy courses (to up my data science skills) and applying internally for roles to be turned down, I lost my enthusiasm/interest in data science.
Currently, I’m a contractor for a Cyber Security team. A friend of the family said their team needed help for a few months and they could use my data skills. At the moment I feel like an imposter. I know nothing about IT or cybersecurity. As I learn more about cybersecurity and its processes, the more I learn that I don’t care for this. I am definitely underqualified knowledge-wise. I could go back to school for cybersecurity, but I have not a lick of interest in this field. Also, using Excel is not really data science.
What really rubs me wrong, is that no one takes the time to really train and mentor anymore. Everyone expects you to hit the ground running these days. I feel like work gets thrown at me, then my supervisors run off to their meetings all day. Part of it is my fault, I hesitate to ask questions because I really don’t know what to ask. When I do ask questions (I make sure I have questions ready for scheduled meetings), I get roundabout answers from my supervisors. I never had these issues during my research internships or when I slinging donuts and coffee.
I feel discouraged to continue to work. It’s affecting my current productivity because I rather procrastinate and do the bare minimum to get by. I never had this issue when I served coffee and donuts for minimum wage.
I took a bunch of career aptitude tests- one of the results I am interested in is accounting. I would have to go back to school and I am open to it. My local community college has a 51-credit financial accounting certificate program for bachelor's degree holders. The program is supposed to prepare me for the CPA exams.
How would I even start my career switch? What are entry-level roles in accounting? Should I even bother? Should I just stick to data science/analysis? I just don’t want to make a mistake and waste my time.
I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries.

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1. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.

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1. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later.

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1. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.

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1. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.

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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MODERN LEFTISM
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1. Almost everyone will agree that we live in a deeply troubled society. One of the most widespread manifestations of the craziness of our world is leftism, so a discussion of the psychology of leftism can serve as an introduction to the discussion of the problems of modern society in general.

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1. But what is leftism? During the first half of the 20th century leftism could have been practically identified with socialism. Today the movement is fragmented and it is not clear who can properly be called a leftist. When we speak of leftists in this article we have in mind mainly socialists, collectivists, “politically correct” types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal rights activists and the like. But not everyone who is associated with one of these movements is a leftist. What we are trying to get at in discussing leftism is not so much movement or an ideology as a psychological type, or rather a collection of related types. Thus, what we mean by “leftism” will emerge more clearly in the course of our discussion of leftist psychology. (Also, see paragraphs 227-230.)

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1. Even so, our conception of leftism will remain a good deal less clear than we would wish, but there doesn’t seem to be any remedy for this. All we are trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the two psychological tendencies that we believe are the main driving force of modern leftism. We by no means claim to be telling the WHOLE truth about leftist psychology. Also, our discussion is meant to apply to modern leftism only. We leave open the question of the extent to which our discussion could be applied to the leftists of the 19th and early 20th centuries.

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1. The two psychological tendencies that underlie modern leftism we call “feelings of inferiority” and “oversocialization.” Feelings of inferiority are characteristic of modern leftism as a whole, while oversocialization is characteristic only of a certain segment of modern leftism; but this segment is highly influential.

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FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY
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1. By “feelings of inferiority” we mean not only inferiority feelings in the strict sense but a whole spectrum of related traits; low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, depressive tendencies, defeatism, guilt, self- hatred, etc. We argue that modern leftists tend to have some such feelings (possibly more or less repressed) and that these feelings are decisive in determining the direction of modern leftism.

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1. When someone interprets as derogatory almost anything that is said about him (or about groups with whom he identifies) we conclude that he has inferiority feelings or low self-esteem. This tendency is pronounced among minority rights activists, whether or not they belong to the minority groups whose rights they defend. They are hypersensitive about the words used to designate minorities and about anything that is said concerning minorities. The terms “negro,” “oriental,” “handicapped” or “chick” for an African, an Asian, a disabled person or a woman originally had no derogatory connotation. “Broad” and “chick” were merely the feminine equivalents of “guy,” “dude” or “fellow.” The negative connotations have been attached to these terms by the activists themselves. Some animal rights activists have gone so far as to reject the word “pet” and insist on its replacement by “animal companion.” Leftish anthropologists go to great lengths to avoid saying anything about primitive peoples that could conceivably be interpreted as negative. They want to replace the world “primitive” by “nonliterate.” They seem almost paranoid about anything that might suggest that any primitive culture is inferior to our own. (We do not mean to imply that primitive cultures ARE inferior to ours. We merely point out the hypersensitivity of leftish anthropologists.)

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1. Those who are most sensitive about “politically incorrect” terminology are not the average black ghetto- dweller, Asian immigrant, abused woman or disabled person, but a minority of activists, many of whom do not even belong to any “oppressed” group but come from privileged strata of society. Political correctness has its stronghold among university professors, who have secure employment with comfortable salaries, and the majority of whom are heterosexual white males from middle- to upper-middle-class families.

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1. Many leftists have an intense identification with the problems of groups that have an image of being weak (women), defeated (American Indians), repellent (homosexuals) or otherwise inferior. The leftists themselves feel that these groups are inferior. They would never admit to themselves that they have such feelings, but it is precisely because they do see these groups as inferior that they identify with their problems. (We do not mean to suggest that women, Indians, etc. ARE inferior; we are only making a point about leftist psychology.)

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1. Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong and as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may NOT be as strong and as capable as men.

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1. Leftists tend to hate anything that has an image of being strong, good and successful. They hate America, they hate Western civilization, they hate white males, they hate rationality. The reasons that leftists give for hating the West, etc. clearly do not correspond with their real motives. They SAY they hate the West because it is warlike, imperialistic, sexist, ethnocentric and so forth, but where these same faults appear in socialist countries or in primitive cultures, the leftist finds excuses for them, or at best he GRUDGINGLY admits that they exist; whereas he ENTHUSIASTICALLY points out (and often greatly exaggerates) these faults where they appear in Western civilization. Thus it is clear that these faults are not the leftist’s real motive for hating America and the West. He hates America and the West because they are strong and successful.

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1. Words like “self-confidence,” “self-reliance,” “initiative,” “enterprise,” “optimism,” etc., play little role in the liberal and leftist vocabulary. The leftist is anti-individualistic, pro-collectivist. He wants society to solve everyone’s problems for them, satisfy everyone’s needs for them, take care of them. He is not the sort of person who has an inner sense of confidence in his ability to solve his own problems and satisfy his own needs. The leftist is antagonistic to the concept of competition because, deep inside, he feels like a loser.

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1. Art forms that appeal to modern leftish intellectuals tend to focus on sordidness, defeat and despair, or else they take an orgiastic tone, throwing off rational control as if there were no hope of accomplishing anything through rational calculation and all that was left was to immerse oneself in the sensations of the moment.

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1. Modern leftish philosophers tend to dismiss reason, science, objective reality and to insist that everything is culturally relative. It is true that one can ask serious questions about the foundations of scientific knowledge and about how, if at all, the concept of objective reality can be defined. But it is obvious that modern leftish philosophers are not simply cool-headed logicians systematically analyzing the foundations of knowledge. They are deeply involved emotionally in their attack on truth and reality. They attack these concepts because of their own psychological needs. For one thing, their attack is an outlet for hostility, and, to the extent that it is successful, it satisfies the drive for power. More importantly, the leftist hates science and rationality because they classify certain beliefs as true (i.e., successful, superior) and other beliefs as false (i.e., failed, inferior). The leftist’s feelings of inferiority run so deep that he cannot tolerate any classification of some things as successful or superior and other things as failed or inferior. This also underlies the rejection by many leftists of the concept of mental illness and of the utility of IQ tests. Leftists are antagonistic to genetic explanations of human abilities or behavior because such explanations tend to make some persons appear superior or inferior to others. Leftists prefer to give society the credit or blame for an individual’s ability or lack of it. Thus if a person is “inferior” it is not his fault, but society’s, because he has not been brought up properly.

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1. The leftist is not typically the kind of person whose feelings of inferiority make him a braggart, an egotist, a bully, a self-promoter, a ruthless competitor. This kind of person has not wholly lost faith in himself. He has a deficit in his sense of power and self-worth, but he can still conceive of himself as having the capacity to be strong, and his efforts to make himself strong produce his unpleasant behavior. [1] But the leftist is too far gone for that. His feelings of inferiority are so ingrained that he cannot conceive of himself as individually strong and valuable. Hence the collectivism of the leftist. He can feel strong only as a member of a large organization or a mass movement with which he identifies himself.

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1. Notice the masochistic tendency of leftist tactics. Leftists protest by lying down in front of vehicles, they intentionally provoke police or racists to abuse them, etc. These tactics may often be effective, but many leftists use them not as a means to an end but because they PREFER masochistic tactics. Self-hatred is a leftist trait.

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1. Leftists may claim that their activism is motivated by compassion or by moral principles, and moral principle does play a role for the leftist of the oversocialized type. But compassion and moral principle cannot be the main motives for leftist activism. Hostility is too prominent a component of leftist behavior; so is the drive for power. Moreover, much leftist behavior is not rationally calculated to be of benefit to the people whom the leftists claim to be trying to help. For example, if one believes that affirmative action is good for black people, does it make sense to demand affirmative action in hostile or dogmatic terms? Obviously it would be more productive to take a diplomatic and conciliatory approach that would make at least verbal and symbolic concessions to white people who think that affirmative action discriminates against them. But leftist activists do not take such an approach because it would not satisfy their emotional needs. Helping black people is not their real goal. Instead, race problems serve as an excuse for them to express their own hostility and frustrated need for power. In doing so they actually harm black people, because the activists’ hostile attitude toward the white majority tends to intensify race hatred.

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1. If our society had no social problems at all, the leftists would have to INVENT problems in order to provide themselves with an excuse for making a fuss.

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1. We emphasize that the foregoing does not pretend to be an accurate description of everyone who might be considered a leftist. It is only a rough indication of a general tendency of leftism.

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OVERSOCIALIZATION
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1. Psychologists use the term “socialization” to designate the process by which children are trained to think and act as society demands. A person is said to be well socialized if he believes in and obeys the moral code of his society and fits in well as a functioning part of that society. It may seem senseless to say that many leftists are oversocialized, since the leftist is perceived as a rebel. Nevertheless, the position can be defended. Many leftists are not such rebels as they seem.

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1. The moral code of our society is so demanding that no one can think, feel and act in a completely moral way. For example, we are not supposed to hate anyone, yet almost everyone hates somebody at some time or other, whether he admits it to himself or not. Some people are so highly socialized that the attempt to think, feel and act morally imposes a severe burden on them. In order to avoid feelings of guilt, they continually have to deceive themselves about their own motives and find moral explanations for feelings and actions that in reality have a non-moral origin. We use the term “oversocialized” to describe such people. [2]

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1. Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means by which our society socializes children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society’s expectations. If this is overdone, or if a particular child is especially susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed of HIMSELF. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the oversocialized person are more restricted by society’s expectations than are those of the lightly socialized person. The majority of people engage in a significant amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work, they hate someone, they say spiteful things or they use some underhanded trick to get ahead of the other guy. The oversocialized person cannot do these things, or if he does do them he generates in himself a sense of shame and self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are contrary to the accepted morality; he cannot think “unclean” thoughts. And socialization is not just a matter of morality; we are socialized to conform to many norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading of morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down for him. In many oversocialized people this results in a sense of constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe hardship. We suggest that oversocialization is among the more serious cruelties that human beings inflict on one another.

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1. We argue that a very important and influential segment of the modern left is oversocialized and that their oversocialization is of great importance in determining the direction of modern leftism. Leftists of the oversocialized type tend to be intellectuals or members of the upper-middle class. Notice that university intellectuals [3] constitute the most highly socialized segment of our society and also the most left-wing segment.

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1. The leftist of the oversocialized type tries to get off his psychological leash and assert his autonomy by rebelling. But usually he is not strong enough to rebel against the most basic values of society. Generally speaking, the goals of today’s leftists are NOT in conflict with the accepted morality. On the contrary, the left takes an accepted moral principle, adopts it as its own, and then accuses mainstream society of violating that principle. Examples: racial equality, equality of the sexes, helping poor people, peace as opposed to war, nonviolence generally, freedom of expression, kindness to animals. More fundamentally, the duty of the individual to serve society and the duty of society to take care of the individual. All these have been deeply rooted values of our society (or at least of its middle and upper classes [4] for a long time. These values are explicitly or implicitly expressed or presupposed in most of the material presented to us by the mainstream communications media and the educational system. Leftists, especially those of the oversocialized type, usually do not rebel against these principles but justify their hostility to society by claiming (with some degree of truth) that society is not living up to these principles.

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1. Here is an illustration of the way in which the oversocialized leftist shows his real attachment to the conventional attitudes of our society while pretending to be in rebellion against it. Many leftists push for affirmative action, for moving black people into high-prestige jobs, for improved education in black schools and more money for such schools; the way of life of the black “underclass” they regard as a social disgrace. They want to integrate the black man into the system, make him a business executive, a lawyer, a scientist just like upper-middle-class white people. The leftists will reply that the last thing they want is to make the black man into a copy of the white man; instead, they want to preserve African American culture. But in what does this preservation of African American culture consist? It can hardly consist in anything more than eating black-style food, listening to black-style music, wearing black-style clothing and going to a black- style church or mosque. In other words, it can express itself only in superficial matters. In all ESSENTIAL respects most leftists of the oversocialized type want to make the black man conform to white, middle-class ideals. They want to make him study technical subjects, become an executive or a scientist, spend his life climbing the status ladder to prove that black people are as good as white. They want to make black fathers “responsible,” they want black gangs to become nonviolent, etc. But these are exactly the values of the industrial-technological system. The system couldn’t care less what kind of music a man listens to, what kind of clothes he wears or what religion he believes in as long as he studies in school, holds a respectable job, climbs the status ladder, is a “responsible” parent, is nonviolent and so forth. In effect, however much he may deny it, the oversocialized leftist wants to integrate the black man into the system and make him adopt its values.

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1. We certainly do not claim that leftists, even of the oversocialized type, NEVER rebel against the fundamental values of our society. Clearly they sometimes do. Some oversocialized leftists have gone so far as to rebel against one of modern society’s most important principles by engaging in physical violence. By their own account, violence is for them a form of “liberation.” In other words, by committing violence they break through the psychological restraints that have been trained into them. Because they are oversocialized these restraints have been more confining for them than for others; hence their need to break free of them. But they usually justify their rebellion in terms of mainstream values. If they engage in violence they claim to be fighting against racism or the like.

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1. We realize that many objections could be raised to the foregoing thumbnail sketch of leftist psychology. The real situation is complex, and anything like a complete description of it would take several volumes even if the necessary data were available. We claim only to have indicated very roughly the two most important tendencies in the psychology of modern leftism.

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1. The problems of the leftist are indicative of the problems of our society as a whole. Low self-esteem, depressive tendencies and defeatism are not restricted to the left. Though they are especially noticeable in the left, they are widespread in our society. And today’s society tries to socialize us to a greater extent than any previous society. We are even told by experts how to eat, how to exercise, how to make love, how to raise our kids and so forth.

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THE POWER PROCESS
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1. Human beings have a need (probably based in biology) for something that we will call the “power process.” This is closely related to the need for power (which is widely recognized) but is not quite the same thing. The power process has four elements. The three most clear-cut of these we call goal, effort and attainment of goal. (Everyone needs to have goals whose attainment requires effort, and needs to succeed in attaining at least some of his goals.) The fourth element is more difficult to define and may not be necessary for everyone. We call it autonomy and will discuss it later (paragraphs 42-44).

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1. Consider the hypothetical case of a man who can have anything he wants just by wishing for it. Such a man has power, but he will develop serious psychological problems. At first he will have a lot of fun, but by and by he will become acutely bored and demoralized. Eventually he may become clinically depressed. History shows that leisured aristocracies tend to become decadent. This is not true of fighting aristocracies that have to struggle to maintain their power. But leisured, secure aristocracies that have no need to exert themselves usually become bored, hedonistic and demoralized, even though they have power. This shows that power is not enough. One must have goals toward which to exercise one’s power.

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1. Everyone has goals; if nothing else, to obtain the physical necessities of life: food, water and whatever clothing and shelter are made necessary by the climate. But the leisured aristocrat obtains these things without effort. Hence his boredom and demoralization.

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1. Nonattainment of important goals results in death if the goals are physical necessities, and in frustration if nonattainment of the goals is compatible with survival. Consistent failure to attain goals throughout life results in defeatism, low self-esteem or depression.

I have had some complicated issues with my husband over the last few weeks and it involves me being insecure/jealous of a female friend he has. He is also a binge drinker (usually on the weekends). The drinking problem has been a constant issue for the length of our marriage.
After 11 years, I feel like I have reached my breaking point. My husband is narcissistic and whenever I voice a grievance or something I don't like, he manages to gaslight me or make it about him and how he feels miserable. It's hard to explain. I'm trying to keep this short.
Today, he told me he was meeting up with his female friend, who is an ex-coworker. I immediately felt upset. I never said I was ok with him hanging out with her, especially when he lied about an event they both went together a couple months ago. But I told him I wasn't going to stop him or make him stop being friends. Reverse psychology bullshit. He was guilting me about it. I know he would still secretly text her and probably see her at work since their jobs are near each other.
But I am feeling some very heavy emotions and feel like I should leave him. It's not the first time. I feel like I'm going crazy. He insists he never did anything wrong and he's a "good husband." I used to rationalize it and agree. Most of the time, he is a good guy. But he ignores and dismissed me whenever I bring up topics he doesn't like.
I'm sad and he makes it about him.
He never admits to a drinking problem. He calls himself a "lush." He said he's not attracted to his friend, but I saw some pictures on his phone that make me believe otherwise.
Idk if I'm blowing everything out of proportion or if I am justified to feel the way I do. I just feel fed up.

TLDR: I, like many others, am not happy with my new career. I worked 1 year as a Data Scientist and gained near zero experience. I’ve grown to heavily dislike the tech/IT field. I can’t keep up with the skills and technologies. I am not technical enough nor do I care to keep up. I’ve contemplated going back to school for accounting. Should I make the switch to accounting and get out of tech/IT roles?
This post is partly a rant. I know my dilemma is not unique. I’ve read plenty of other Reddit posts and comments about career dissatisfaction and career indecision. I still feel lost, hopeless, and empty about my career path and it aggravates my anxiety and depression, which is not an uncommon experience. I also know I’m still young and I’m only at the start of my journey, but not knowing makes me scared.
I earned my Math degree in early 2022. My first job was supposed to be a Data Scienctist role, but I did nothing Data Science related. I was at a very well-known government contracting firm. My managers only cared that I find billable work. They placed me on a software development team to keep me afloat- it was not a good fit. In between taking Udemy courses (to up my data science skills) and applying internally for roles to be turned down, I lost my enthusiasm/interest in data science.
Currently, I’m a contractor for a Cyber Security team. A friend of the family said their team needed help for a few months and they could use my data skills. At the moment I feel like an imposter. I know nothing about IT or cybersecurity. As I learn more about cybersecurity and its processes, the more I learn that I don’t care for this. I am definitely underqualified knowledge-wise. I could go back to school for cybersecurity, but I have not a lick of interest in this field. Also, using Excel is not really data science.
What really rubs me wrong, is that no one takes the time to really train and mentor anymore. Everyone expects you to hit the ground running these days. I feel like work gets thrown at me, then my supervisors run off to their meetings all day. Part of it is my fault, I hesitate to ask questions because I really don’t know what to ask. When I do ask questions (I make sure I have questions ready for scheduled meetings), I get roundabout answers from my supervisors. I never had these issues during my research internships or when I slinging donuts and coffee.
I feel discouraged to continue to work. It’s affecting my current productivity because I rather procrastinate and do the bare minimum to get by. I never had this issue when I served coffee and donuts for minimum wage.
I took a bunch of career aptitude tests- one of the results I am interested in is accounting. I would have to go back to school and I am open to it. My local community college has a 51-credit financial accounting certificate program for bachelor's degree holders. The program is supposed to prepare me for the CPA exams.
How would I even start my career switch? What are entry-level roles in accounting? Should I even bother? Should I just stick to data science/analysis? I just don’t want to make a mistake and waste my time.
I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

“Return with honor”. “No Empty Chairs”
Mormonism largely holds people in not by the pangs of their own consciousness through Christ but primarily through a collective honoshame culture.
It’s worth considering this, especially since we believe it to be relatively clean example of right wing americana (and for good reason). However, it’s customs are more in keeping with traditionally collective cultures.
You don’t just leave your religion when you leave Mormonism. You’re turning your back on your upbringing and your family. You abandon then eternally.
However, the binding truth is that if you shame the religion, you shame the family and it becomes exquisitely painful.
They may not use the word shame and honor as much- more often see it as “worthy” and “not worthy.”
Being public about your negative feelings regarding Mormonism brings public shame. Mormon family members feel betrayed and don’t trust you.
Mormons claim individual revelation but only if it agrees with the collective. Public Individual disagreement is first and foremost an excommunication offense. This makes sense in a collective honoshame society.
Consider Mr. Bednar, who demands the honor of standing first.
Consider standing for the prophet.
Consider the public shame of withholding the sacrament.
Consider the public shame of disfellowship penalties and excommunication.
Consider the requirement of public penance to a bishop.
Consider the exclusiveness of temple weddings.
Consider the public shaming of apostates (“taffy pullers, lazy learners”)
Consider the subtle ostracizing of “immodesty.”
Consider the isolation via singles ward until marriage allows entry into mainstream Mormonism.
Why is this important? Because despite being in (largely) a westernized individualistic society, Mormonism chain-gangs salvation in a way that is subtle and we may not be aware it’s happening.
However, shame culture has not infested Mormonism. Mormonism was built on a collective honoshame system. Our historical folks comment on the specifics, but one noticeable aspect is that Joseph Smith showed no discernible guilt over his wives, since he had “the right.” Honoshame cultures operate on external controls, not internal pressures. It only matters once/if you get caught, since it’s the community job to hold you responsible.
There are many, many examples. Oaths to avenge the prophet fathers deaths in the temple, for example.
It may help you in your journey out to consider the influences of not only a religion, but a collective honoshame culture.
Hope this helps!

Posting here because I feel like I'm being over-sensitive and I think you guys might understand how I'm feeling.
I am a mid-level employee at a mid-size company. When I joined the company last September, I took over a project from a senior colleague.
Immediately I felt overwhelmed by her. She's not a manager but she acts like one. She gets involved in everyone's business, but particularly my business because we keep being paired up on projects—to my chagrin!
I actually think she displays some autistic traits, like matter-of-fact feedback and high attention to detail. I also have these traits. The thing is, I don't give people unrequested feedback unless I think it's important. With her, it's feedback feedback feedback. Although the department head is very happy with my work and praises me a lot, I feel extremely micromanaged and smothered by my colleague and it's starting to cause severe burnout.
It feels like I do nothing right in her eyes and she's constantly pinging me. I dread her meetings because she infodumps on me for up to two hours without writing any minutes and completely ignores the time allotted for the meeting slot, which overstimulates me for the rest of the day.
Here are some highlights from today that have left me crumpled in a ball on the sofa:
-She criticised the way I showed that a ticket was approved by a project manager who refuses to follow the proper ticket workflow. The manager conveyed that a task was approved over IM so I put a screenshot of the IM in the ticket comments. She said this wasn't good enough because the manager didn't directly reference the name of the task he was approving in the IM and this wouldn't satisfy imaginary auditors looking at our tickets. She insisted I tag the PM and delete the screenshot, which doesn't seem much better to me?
-I added a comment on one of my closed tickets because I changed one word in a document. I left the comment to ask my higher-ups if the change was ok to publish. I didn't realise she was a watcher on the ticket and she pinged me to complain that I should create a new ticket. Reminder: I changed ONE WORD.
-I worked with a QA to publish some tutorials to our site. I was on a video call with him and saw that he published to both the demo and prod site. She was also a hidden watcher on these tickets because she reviewed them, so she pinged me again because the QA only mentioned publishing to prod and not demo in the submission comments, and she wanted to know if he had also published to demo.
Just want to make something clear: she has no responsibility over any of these tasks. She is not my manager. If I perform these tasks wrong, the blame is on me, and I am happy to take the blame. Yet it feels like she's always watching anything I do like a hawk. I couldn't perform the rest of my tasks today because I was so upset by all this badgering.
I'm not used to this style of feedback because in my last company, the seniors were very good at conveying constructive feedback and trusting me to do a good job. They would tell me if I did something inorrectly, but they treated me like an adult and not an unruly student. They were also happy to have chats that were not related to work, whereas all this new colleague talks about is work and there's no levity. My colleagues at my last job understood that sometimes people have different approaches to a task, and you don't need to be pulled up on every difference. With my new colleague, I literally try to hide tasks that I'm working on from her so I don't have to listen to her nitpick it.
It's a small team, so I can't really transfer projects. We have some new hires coming in, but I don't want to swap with them on my current project with her because it has some quirks that would be difficult for a newcomer to deal with. I also don't have a direct manager who I could mention these issues to, just the head of the department, and I don't want to cause any hassle because someone who joined at the same time as me got fired after having some communication issues with a different senior colleague. I have records of all this communication with her but I feel like nothing really stands out as bad out of context. Sometimes the feedback is actually helpful, you know? It's just there's no compliments on the things I do correctly mixed in.
I wish it was easier to find new jobs these days. I feel like a ticking time bomb and it's only a matter of time before I melt down at someone.

Pics of the shower
I am currently remodeling a bathroom. It was completely gutted and rebuilt since the previous owners neglected it. I have done everything but the shower itself. Someone else did it, but I believe did a bad job. They installed the pre fab showetub, but screwed Harris backer directly to the dry wall. From what i have read, this is a no no, you should put the cement board right to the studs.
I was advised by another person to tile from where the pre fab ends, upto the ceiling to prevent mold. The hardie backer they used behind the shower ends slightly above where the shower does, so I figured I can just cut a new piece and continue and seal the seams. But after further research I don’t know if it is a good idea to have the drywall behind it.
My question is, what should I do? Rip out drywall, attach hardie backer to studs and redguard, or just put the hardie backer over the drywall, and redguard and seal it?
Or if both of these ideas are bad, what should I do instead?

TLDR: I, like many others, am not happy with my new career. I worked 1 year as a Data Scientist and gained near zero experience. I’ve grown to heavily dislike the tech/IT field. I can’t keep up with the skills and technologies. I am not technical enough nor do I care to keep up. I’ve contemplated going back to school for accounting. Should I make the switch to accounting and get out of tech/IT roles?
This post is partly a rant. I know my dilemma is not unique. I’ve read plenty of other Reddit posts and comments about career dissatisfaction and career indecision. I still feel lost, hopeless, and empty about my career path and it aggravates my anxiety and depression, which is not an uncommon experience. I also know I’m still young and I’m only at the start of my journey, but not knowing makes me scared.
I earned my Math degree in early 2022. My first job was supposed to be a Data Scienctist role, but I did nothing Data Science related. I was at a very well-known government contracting firm. My managers only cared that I find billable work. They placed me on a software development team to keep me afloat- it was not a good fit. In between taking Udemy courses (to up my data science skills) and applying internally for roles to be turned down, I lost my enthusiasm/interest in data science.
Currently, I’m a contractor for a Cyber Security team. A friend of the family said their team needed help for a few months and they could use my data skills. At the moment I feel like an imposter. I know nothing about IT or cybersecurity. As I learn more about cybersecurity and its processes, the more I learn that I don’t care for this. I am definitely underqualified knowledge-wise. I could go back to school for cybersecurity, but I have not a lick of interest in this field. Also, using Excel is not really data science.
What really rubs me wrong, is that no one takes the time to really train and mentor anymore. Everyone expects you to hit the ground running these days. I feel like work gets thrown at me, then my supervisors run off to their meetings all day. Part of it is my fault, I hesitate to ask questions because I really don’t know what to ask. When I do ask questions (I make sure I have questions ready for scheduled meetings), I get roundabout answers from my supervisors. I never had these issues during my research internships or when I slinging donuts and coffee.
I feel discouraged to continue to work. It’s affecting my current productivity because I rather procrastinate and do the bare minimum to get by. I never had this issue when I served coffee and donuts for minimum wage.
I took a bunch of career aptitude tests- one of the results I am interested in is accounting. I would have to go back to school and I am open to it. My local community college has a 51-credit financial accounting certificate program for bachelor's degree holders. The program is supposed to prepare me for the CPA exams.
How would I even start my career switch? What are entry-level roles in accounting? Should I even bother? Should I just stick to data science/analysis? I just don’t want to make a mistake and waste my time.
I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

I’m happy to take this down if it isn’t allowed. Even my therapist hasn’t been able to help me find a long-standing solution to this. Im wondering if anyone else experiences this and maybe has a good starting off point to understanding this issue more.
I do not know how to relax. I keep thinking I’m wasting my life and could be using the time I’m relaxing better. I can see this being a reasonable approach if I’m regularly sedentary, but I’m a very active person. I have 4 part time jobs, and can go 7am-1am several days a week. I don’t have hobbies that are just for fun, they have to add value to my life—like crafts I can sell, gardens I can harvest, exercise to make me stronger, or only books and documentaries that expand my knowledge. Trying to relax for a day will make me very, very nervous.
My therapists have all told me to start meditating and develop skills for being present in the moment, but I have never been able to convince myself I’m allowed to chill. I can easily see myself working to the point of injury, burnout, or to the point where it damages my mental health further.
Is this something I can fix, or is this just a personality trait? Does anyone else have experience with this feeling? How did you manage it?

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: White
• Residence: Southeast
• Income Bracket: Low-middle income
• Type of School: Large competitive public school (~20-30 to T25s every year)
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): None

Intended Major(s): Political Science/Public Policy
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0/4.88
• Rank (or percentile): 1/600+
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 24 APs (some online), 3 DEs (2 online), the rest honors

9th: APHUG (5), APCSP (5)
10th: Micro (5), Calc BC (5), Physics 1 (5), Bio (5), World (5), Euro (5)
11th: Macro (5), Lang (5), APUSH (5), Physics 2 (4), Physics C Mech (4), Chem (4), Comp Gov (5), Seminar (5), DE Calc III
12th: Lit, Stats, Art History, US Gov, Psych, CSA, APES, Physics C EM, DE Linear Algebra (one semester), DE Differential Equations (one semester)
Standardized Testing

• SAT: 1600
• AP: Reported all scores: 13 5s, 3 4s

Extracurriculars/Activities

1. Research @ Local State School on Greed Tendencies in Humans. Designed experiments and tested different age groups to test if greed was conditioned or natural to humans. Published research paper (submitted as research supplement to some schools) (11).
2. Writing Internship @ Very Popula"Prestigious" Newspaper Company. Wrote tons of articles. Only high school intern (11, 12).
3. Local Youth Political Action Committee Head. Discussed potential policy solutions to local issues and presented solutions to local gov officials. Featured on news twice (10, 11, 12).
4. Local Leftist Teens (Not Actual Name) Founder. Group for local high school activists/passionate leftists to come together and discuss how we can promote leftist ideas to the general public/get real issues real attention. Presented policy solutions to local gov officials. Kind of similar to the last activity (11, 12).
5. Job @ Restaurant. Weekends during school year. Worked 30 hrs/wk during summers (9, 10, 11, 12).
6. School+Club Soccer Team Captain (9, 10, 11, 12).
7. Knowledge Bowl Team President. Grew club from ~5 before I was pres to ~30 after I was pres. Regional+state champ (9, 10, 11, 12).
8. School Debate Team Captain. Placed individually in nationals. Headed fundraisers and meetings with local college debate team to practice against higher level competition (9, 10, 11, 12).
9. Informal Debate Club Founder. Name too unique so not naming here. We just meet weekly and debate politics. That's literally what happens and that's exactly what I said in my description on the Common App (10, 11, 12).
10. Philosophy Club Founder. We talk about philosophy and stuff. Lots of religious debate. Initiated altruistic fundraiser along with the help of local college philosophy department (11, 12).

Awards/Honors

1. Essay on anticapitalism published in very notable journal (not a high-schooler-publishing-type journal) (11).
2. Debate individual nationals placements (11, 12).
3. State knowledge bowl tournament first place solo, regional first place, youngest individual state champion ever (a few placements clumped) (9, 10, 11, 12).
4. Featured on national news for activist efforts/got to talk about youth activism (12).
5. Research award (11).

Letters of Recommendation
LOR 1: From AP histories teacher. Said I was his best student both years I took him. Don't know much else. We were really close; he was also the teacher sponsor for real debate and the more informal debate club I founded, so he saw me compete lots and saw my debate skills/political knowledge. 9.5/10.
LOR 2: From AP calc/calc 3 teacher. Said I had very unusual math strength, especially for someone who isn't going into math. Was surprised when I told him I wanted to study PoliSci instead of something STEM. We were very close tho. Probably 8/10.
Didn't get one from my research mentor.
Interviews
Stanford: 5/10. Online. Idk the guy seemed to not really care that much/wasn't too attentive, but this might've just been bc it was online. Conversation only lasted like 25 minutes max. I rlly don't think the guy would've had that much at all to say/tell the admissions committee about me but yeah.
UPenn: 9/10. Talked about capitalism. Guy was from Wharton, so yeah, different paths for sure but he seemed to really be interested in what I was talking about. He thought I was smart and said my resume was incredible/very professional.
Harvard: 10/10. Interviewer seemed to really enjoy our conversation. Lasted about 2 hours; we talked about philosophy lots. Interviewer said I was the most impressive interviewee she'd ever seen.
Yale: 6/10. Talked about politics (don't) and my interviewer clearly didn't agree with me. Might be exaggerating how bad this was but idrk. Guy was chill tho. Realistically, it was prolly better than I thought and I doubt the guy would write bad stuff for us disagreeing. We actually had some pretty good conversation. Idk.
Vandy: 8/10. Talked about southern environment of Vandy; that's what I wanted to know abt the school (that environment's implications on the school's culture) so I just asked. Good conversation and definitely made me like the school a lot more. Much more focused on the school as opposed to me and my interests than all my other interviews.
Essays
Honestly, I spent summewell into the school year on my PS, but my supps were all done pretty quickly. I made sure they were good, but I didn't have a private counselor or anything like that, so it was pretty much just my own judgement. My PS was about activism/how I got into politics, and ik I'm biased and everything, but I really do think it was an incredibly strong essay. The only person who read it was my AP lit teacher, and she said it was easily the best PS she'd ever seen and said it was "beautifully written." I consider myself a strong writer (lots of experience/I read lots), so I think my essays were all well written; some of the supps could've had better content, tho. I was also making some jokes in my essays, so they were kinda funny at times, so yk take that how you will. I only made jokes when they came naturally; nothing was contrived/fake or anything. I'd rate my PS a 9.5/10 and my supps an average of a 7.5/10.
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• Harvard (RD)
• Stanford (RD)
• Princeton (RD)
• Duke (RD) -> committed!!!!!!!!!!
• Columbia (RD+likely letter)
• UChicago (EA)
• UPenn (RD)
• Brown (RD)
• Northwestern (RD)
• Vandy (RD+full tuition scholarship)
• Georgetown (EA)
• UNC (EA+full ride)
• My state school (EA)

​
Rejections:

• MIT (deferred EA, rejected RD)

​
Waitlists:

• Yale (RD)

​
Additional Information
After UChicago EA came out, I decided to only apply to schools RD that I thought I might take over UChicago, so I scratched all my targets that I'd started writing for (UChicago's FA was good). I got very good FA offers from multiple schools, which is why I didn't take the UNC full ride or Vandy full tuition scholarship (I probably would have otherwise). HSP offers were a tad (and I really mean a tad) cheaper than Duke's—but I alr liked Duke so much and fell in love with it when I visited campus. Duke felt like a perfect fit. If y'all were wondering, I didn't take the WL spot at Yale, and I wouldn't have gone to MIT, so yeah—go Blue Devils!!!!!!!!!!!