Hello my name is Mads. My username is MadEye#9738 and I enjoy literate RP. I’m 23. Please comment below to discuss if you’re interested. We can rp on discord or tumblr if you’d like but I prefer discord. I have an Elden ring oc, Adelina (Ada for short). She’s a runt omen and the daughter of Mohg. Her information is below for further elaboration, but I will give a brief description. https://www.tumblr.com/tarnishedlambkin/710824434242600960/adelina-daughter-of-blood-written-by-mads-i
-Ada is the daughter of Mohg and he created her as an heir to the dynasty. To his dismay she was born a runt in the sewers.

• As a young adult, she escaped the sewers and was later captured and taken to Stormveil. Godrick grafted her wings to him so he can gain more power and so she cannot fly away. She was held hostage for years.
  
  • Mohg eventually discovered where she was being held and sent his grunts such as white masks to bring her back. That’s how she met Varré.
  • She is brought back to mohgwyn palace and is a major head in the cult. Perhaps she gets her wings back?

She has sheep for pets and uses blood incantations as attacks.
Any character is fine and fellow OCs are welcome. Mohg, Varré, Morgott and other characters relevant to her lore would be great. SFW preferred. Romance needs build up (I ship her with Varré but even then I want build up). Darker themes are okay because this is Elden ring after all. Looking foreword to RP with you owo

Name: Ad-Ad Fruit
Ability: The Ad-Ad Fruit (Kōkoku Kōkoku no Mi) is a Paramecia-type Devil Fruit that allows the user to create and manipulate advertisements around them. Making the user a Salesman Human.
Appearance: The Ad-Ad Fruit is a white head-sized fruit that has a long pointed nose-like protrusion that sticks out from the large amount of foliage from under the fruit that covers the whole fruit. Sticking out from the top of the foliage is a black stem that comes out of the top of the fruit, the stem form into a ‘G’ shape and then curls flatly similar to dots on both ends of the stem, strangely enough the stem’s coloration switches from black to bright red once.
In-Depth Description: Upon consumption the user is granted the ability to create and manipulate advertisements of any type and through any medium. Through coming into physical contact with an advert, the user is able to completely change the appearance of that advertisement and make it one of their [Ads]. Once that happens, the user is capable of remotely seeing through any of their [Ads] and allowing the user to see the current [wants and needs] of whoever is looking at the advertisement as well as communicate through them; and in-real time the user is able remotely change it’s contents to further appeal to the customer who might take the offer. If the customer were to take the offer on the advertisement through either verbal confirmation, signed documentation, or willingly shaking the user’s hand to officialize the [[DEAL]]. Depending on the few situations after a [[DEAL]] is made will the [true power] of the Ad-Ad Fruit take effect.
After striking a [[DEAL]] with a customer, the user must be able to deliver their end of the [[DEAL]] before being capable of receiving the customer’s payment. If the user is unable to fulfil their end of the bargain, then the [[DEAL]] will be immediately voided and any payment made by the customer will be returned in full back to them. But if the user possesses the [“intended product”], then the deal will proceed as normal with the customer receiving the product while the user receives the agreed form of [payment] while in person or through the [Ad] acting as a gateway for both [product] and [payment]. As to more favour the user, they are able to [[SCAM]] the customer so long as they don’t ask for the user to inspect the [product], sign the [“required”] documentation without reading it, or unconditionally accept the [[DEAL]]. While the user has to meet their end of the [[DEAL]], the quality and condition of the [“intended product”] does not need to meet such requirements as long as it looks like the [“intended product”] or it fulfils the purpose of [“intended product”]. The rules of both of these conditions are incredibly loose in interpretation, allowing the user to exchange a bad copy/bootleg of the [“intended product”] so long as it meets either requirements.
However, in the event that the customer does not possess the required payment either during the immediate [[DEALmaking]] or they fail to meet the steps of alternative paying methods, the user is then able to invoke special string-like green wires that rain down upon the [InDEBT Consumer] and attach themselves into their body from behind them. These [[Silly Strings]] are completely invisible to those who either aren’t indebted to the user or to a customer who hasn’t noticed anything, but if the user were to tell someone how this particular facet of the fruit works, then they will have the capacity to see these green wires. Once someone becomes a [InDEBT Consumer] the user is capable of slowly but surely manipulating them into doing what they want, with the more [[Silly Strings]] embedded into their body, the more overall control and sway the user has over them. So long as one green wire remains, the user will always know where the [InDEBT Consumer] is located. Just having a few green wires attached to you will make one susceptible to the user’s [“sweet words”] and [[Sales Pitches]], as well as being more blind to such actions of the user, to then end up with more [[Silly Strings]] attached onto their body. With a certain amount of green wires, the user is then capable of influencing a [InDEBT Consumer]’s actions through sleight hand movements and or verbal commands, after a few green wires after that stage, they will begin to become more reliant and gullible to such [“endearing encouragement”] from the user.
With enough [[Silly Strings]] attached onto a [InDEBT Consumer], their minds will become fully oblivious to any [“bad publicity”] of the user and do just about any of the user’s whims and bidding. However if a [InDEBT Consumer] were to become too indebted to the user and possess far to many [[Silly Strings]], then their mind will automatically start to deteriorate to the point of insanity, and become potentially become too unstable for the user to verbally manipulate them. When at such a stage, a [InDEBT Consumer] will fully acknowledge the existence of the [[Silly Strings]]. But just like all other [InDEBT Consumers], they themselves are unable to cut their own [[Silly Strings]], requiring the help of [“non-consumers”] to cut these green wires.
Back onto the [Ads] part of the devil fruit, the overall range the user has depends on the amount of [Ads] of any kind relative to each other. With the user’s pseudo-omniscience ranging far and wide as long as an [Ad] is in the relative range of another [Ad]. If a chain of [Ads] are all in relative range of each other and the user is at least in the radius range of one of the [Ads] making up the chain. Then the user will have complete and perfect vision through all of them. If the user is not in range of a mass of [Ads] then the viewing quality from them will begin to lessen. But if there are enough [Ads] in relative range from each other, then that will generally improve the user’s pseudo-omniscience. However the user themselves also possesses an effective range themselves, with the more in range the user and [Ad] are to each other the stronger the connection. The user’s range is able to be widened and increased with the more [[DEALS]] they make, which in turn slowly increases the range of the [Ads]. An individual [Ad] can have their own connectivity increased with the more customers they draw in and the amount of [[DEALS]] the user makes through that specific [Ad].
Now onto the last facet of the devil fruit, the user is capable of manifesting [Ads] from technological mediums such as [Pop-ups], [3D Models], [PNG/JPGs], and [Videos] into the real-world. Taking the same form as viewed on a Computer or Phone and appearing out of them into the real-world, where the user can telepathically move them around, enlarge them, shrink them, and stretch them. Whilst manifested they are very incredibly durable and can withstand any elemental attack as if it were all the same, however by tapping the close button the top right of these digital [Ads] will make them disappear. They function just like regular [Ads] of the physical world, possessing a relative range and can allow the user to see through them.
Weaknesses: The Ad-Ad Fruit is a devil fruit that is not inherently combat-based, requiring a lot of preparation before the devil fruit can be used in such a sense. As on its own it does leave the user with many options besides the primary facets of the devil fruit’s powers. While people who are obvious to the green wires or people who have green wires attached to them but don’t notice the effect they cause are completely unable to see these green wires attached to them and seemingly originate from the sky above. Non-affected people who have been informed by the user themselves of the green wires or have figured out themselves are capable of snipping the green wires. While the user can turn normal advertisable media into their own, allowing for further use of their devil fruit abilities, despite becoming more sturdy in terms of not flying in the wind if a gust came, they will all still possess the same durability and weaknesses as their normal counterparts.
The main demographic for the user are usually run of the mill people, people who aren’t observant enough to pick up the pieces of very slight things that happen to them. Such as the feeling of something latching onto them, their body doing something on their own, or feeling a certain way toward something all of a sudden. All manifested technology ads are the ads usable form combat, however they are at the same time the easiest to deal with. Just by hitting the top right “X” button to close the floating window. Most importantly, the user of the fruit must be somewhat capable of being a sales(wo)man or be willing to learn as a minimum to use this fruit at all or just be able to lie very well to people without feeling guilty.
Combative Info: The Ad-Ad Fruit in its entirety is not inherently for combative use, however it is capable of such use. Through coming into contact with any technological medium that adverts can be placed in, the user can make such ads manifest in the real-world. The windows from computer-like mediums are very durable, easily withstanding multiple cannon fire without such much as a crack. And are also capable of cutting someone by spinning it to further increase the windows cutting power. 3D polygon models act similar to props then anything that the user can telekinetically throw, if it so happened to be an animated model, then once manifested it will repeat its actions in a loop. The user is capable of raising the volume and brightness of video pop-ups to both blind and deafen opponents.
While the user ensnares more people in debt as well as deepening their staggering debt to the user for not doing their end of the deal. The user can forcibly take control of the user’s green wires and puppeteer them into fighting, operating in a similar fashion to Doflamingo’s Parasite technique. And the user is able to detach green wires from nearby indebted customers and manipulate to wrap around or attack the unaffected opponent while at the same time not attaching any debt onto them. However this not only allows the unaffected person to see the green wires, but also be able to cut them while they are in physical contact, even if they manage to snap a green wire, then that wire will not be reattached to their original indebted recipient. But can still be used by the user to attack opponents, but they can still be re-used for their intended purpose on another or an upcoming [InDEBT Consumer].
Non-Combative Info: Despite the absurdly greedy uses of the Ad-Ad Fruit, it is still an incredibly useful devil fruit for normal commercial uses or really any other form of normal trading uses. The user can easily create high-quality advertisements of any kind for any purpose on any advertisable medium. Being able to create a fully fledged security system by viewing through any and all [ads].
Techniques:
[Advertise]: The user physically touches a medium used for advertisement and transforms it into whatever form of marketable advertisement the user can imagine. When used on things such as paper or signs, the user erases whatever was written/printed on them before printing whatever they could think of. When used on a technological device, the user is simply able to instantly create pop-up ads and video advertisements. So long as it was possible on the chosen medium.

• [Limited Time Promotion]: The user creates a special ad under the guise of a promotional campaign, and whatever they are selling will be only available for a limited time. Increasing incentive for unassuming targets to quickly make a deal as the user reduces the time limit to add pressure on them.
• [Auction Sweepstake]: The user creates advertisements through any televised or radio broadcasting linked to a special advertisement that visually presents an auction sweepstake of multiple [“intended product”] that hypes them up and pretends to increase the bidding from a low price to make it look very valuable.
• [Wonder Trading]: The user creates numerous special ads that work off the basis of giving away a random item in response to a target donating a random item through this special advert. The value of the item given and received are completely, but the user can alter such values to weigh to their favour or someone else's. In addition to being able to see one’s wants and needs, the user can give out specific items to targets so that they are incentivized to donate more for similar items they desire.

[[Silly Strings]]: The user summons special string-like green wires from the sky onto the backs of a [InDEBT Consumer]. The more wires attached onto the back of a victim, the more susceptible they are to any of the user’s manipulations. The wires themselves become more durable and stronger the further the number of th deals the user makes, but will decrease the more deals get broken. While general training with them will make the base strength of the wires more stronger.

• [Sleight of Hand]: The user calls for a specific line of [[Silly Strings]] that are attached to a [InDEBT Consumer]. It will descend from the sky and wrap around the user’s finger, from there the user is able to completely control whatever part of the victim the wire is attached to. From making ever so slight hand gestures to weave the [InDEBT Consumer] to do whatever the user wants so long as they don’t make it apparent or obvious that they're being orchestrated.
• [Debt Termination]: The user manipulates all of the [[Silly Strings]] attached to a [InDEBT Consumer] and wrapped them in a dangerous sharp hold; particularly around the neck and in turn strangling them to death. Although when the user does this, the [[Silly Strings]] become visible to anyone around the victim who isn’t in debt, allowing them to snip the wires during this time.
• [Account Freeze]: The user summons all the [[Silly Strings]] attached to a [InDEBT Consumer] and simply halt the movement of the victim, for further entrapment the user wills the strings to wrap around the joints of the [InDEBT Consumer]. However once more doing such an action will cause non-[InDEBT Consumers] to witness the existence of the [[Silly Strings]].
• [Raining Green]: The user releases all the [[Silly Strings]] from a [InDEBT Consumer’s] body, causing them to each detach from that victim. The user then manipulates all of them to rain down upon a target and pierce them straight through. Alternatively the user can wrap themselves in a few of the [[Silly Strings]] to lift themselves off the ground and into the air. Similar to that of the [String-String Fruit].

[Manifested Windows]: The user focuses their [Ad-Ad Fruit] power on an advertisement off a technological screen. This causes the advertisement shown on the screen to begin to distort before literally coming out of the screen and assuming itself a 3d form. These manifested windows can be used in various ways from offence to defence. These 3d advertisements can be interacted with like advertisements the user creates. But the user is able to revert any of these manifests into 2d shapes and place them around like normal handout adverts, minimising them so that they maximise when someone is near, or make them float toward the nearest person and harass them.

• [3D Knockout]: The user creates manifested windows advertisements, and transforms them into 2d windows before having them slide underneath certain parts of a target’s body. And after they’ve slid under, the 2d windows instantly become 3d once more and collide into the target with excessive force.
• [[POP-UP Tabs]]: The user creates manifested windows advertisements, and transforms them into 2d windows before minimising them. The 2d manifested windows then sneak up on a target, and right when they least expect it, the windows maximise themselves and pop-up right in-front of the target.
• [Spam Mail]: The user or their [InDEBT Consumer] sets up many hidden pop-ups, minimised and scattered across every corner, door, window, device, etc and have them activated to the closest sentient being approaches its proximity. The Spam Mail pop-up will surprise and continuously annoy them by playing their own sound clips over and over again. And whenever they are closed, they will slightly shift out of the way.
• [Advertisement Block]: The user either during or out of combat grabs a manifested window and expands the window out to defend against attacks. But when expanded, the user can also turn the entire window 3-D, gaining a sudden immense amount of weight added to it. And crushing whoever the user drops it on, or they can use it as a shield or blockade.
• [Loud Notification]: The user creates a special variation of pop-up tab, that plays a loud and obnoxious-type of ringing noise whenever they are open. They can be programmed to follow targets and continuously play the same sound over again similar to spam mail.
• [Advertised Product]: The user reaches over and sticks their hand into an advertisement that’s showcasing an item and grabs it. Then the user pulls the product out of advertisement and into the real world. The user can use the product similar to the actual version, however it will be only half as effective. All that is left of the product from the advertisement is a white space shaped exactly like the item.

Awakening:
Once the user of the Ad-Ad Fruit awakens, catching up their body and mind to the levels of their own ability. The standard abilities given when first consumed are significantly increased beyond what they were before, the proverbial range of advertisements are increased, the strength and durability of [[Silly Strings]] improved, the intricacies of the [InDEBT Consumer]’s body that can be manipulated are heightened, and much more. The former weakness of the devil fruit where the user needed a pre-established advertisement or materials to use their devil fruit has been lifted to an extent*****. Now all the user needs to do to create an advertisement is to simply make a sales pitch of any kind, with the more grandeur the pitch, the stronger the advertisement. The user can even now conjure pop-up tabs and digital lettering in thin air to help begin a sales pitch, or enhance their own speechcraft. They can even be used in combat if the user desires, though they are not as potent as physical advertisements or manifested tabs.
However that is only half of the entire awakening, the other half focuses on the conceptual power of the devil fruit and what the user can exactly turn into an “Advertisement”. While in the pre-awakening state, the user is only able to bargain for and sell physical objects and beings. Now the user is able to wrap their [[Silly Strings]] on more intangible [products] such as a person’s soul, in turn granting complete control over an individual, or perhaps something that has yet to exist like a person’s first born. Or even something tied to their very being like their devil fruit ability, though [WARNING: ANY ATTEMPT FOR THE USER OF AD-AD FRUIT TO ABSORB INTO THE POWER OF ANOTHER DEVIL FRUIT USER THAT HAD [“willingly”] SOLD THEIR DEVIL FRUIT POWER TO THEM WILL SUFFER FROM SPONTANEOUS EXPLOSION OF THEIR ENTIRE BODY. THERE ARE NO REFUNDS\.]*
Lastly while the user is able to wrap their [[Silly Strings]] on more intangible [products], the user is now capable of extending what they can exactly turn into advertisement. Following more in line with a standard paramecia awakening, but in a thematic way, any land the user comes into [“ownership”] of and becomes their [“property”]. The wielder of the Ad-Ad Fruit is able to freely change and manipulate everything within and connected to the user’s square feet of land into advertisements. While the user is unable to manipulate the environment in the same way as other paramecia users due to the less malleable nature of advertisements. The esoteric nature of advertisements and how exactly the user can portray their power because of how broad an advertisement can be makes up for the lack of traditional control over their transformed land. But there is a singular weakness to this facet of the Ad-Ad Fruit, which is that if the deed or proof of documentation (and if there isn't any, one is automatically created every time the user assumes control of a lone land.) is destroyed or damaged, then the affected environment will either be completely reverted back or parts of it will instead.
Awakened Techniques:
[Deal with the Devil]: The user creates a [specil] one time only [DEAL], however compared to the normal advertisements the user creates, this one is created with the intention of the user trading for something not entirely physical but something that has value to a specific customer. This [DEAL] is more one on one than any other advertisement deal. Requiring the soon to be customer to either sign on the dotted line of a document to finalise the dealmaking, or by [“willingly”] shaking the user’s hand.

• [Deal for Another Life]: The user creates a [specil] one time only [DEAL] for someone who needs assistance in saving someone, be it that they're in a dying state or simply injured. By accepting the [DEAL] for the user to save the life of another, the recipient will have their condition ”heal” in a sense depending on the situation. If medical supplies are in the vicinity capable of mending them, then the Ad-Ad Fruit will use those supplies to instantaneously patch them up. If there are none, then the [“customer”] will have either their own life or a certain amount of years off their life to help save or extend out the recipient’s.
• [Devil for a Devil]: The user creates a [specil] one time only [DEAL] for the intent of trading the devil fruit abilities of two people between them. Once that either sign or shake each other’s hands with the user present to finalise the dealmaking. Both people will begin to convulse and scream from the pain of the swapping of devil fruits, what appears out from them appears to be the will or soul of their particular devil fruits which pass by each other before phasing into their new user's body.

[Ad Infinitum]: The user proceeds to make a literal one time only [DEAL] like no other to whom but the Ad-Ad Fruit itself, arranging a [DEAL] that will allow the user to gain a significant amount of power by absorbing all existing goods received through every [DEAL] the user has ever made. In turn however, once the user has finished with what they had intended to do with the power, parts of their own individuality is exchanged by the Ad-Ad Fruit itself with one perfectly lined with the devil fruit’s function. That of being a Salesman and their job of making deals. However once done, they themselves will be ensnared by [[Silly Strings]] with them even knowing, and secretly manipulating them into performing and doing things that allows them to make more deals and benefit them.

• [NEO]: One of two transformations the user can undergo once the deal has been made, and is mostly done through the intake of many material items the user has ["respectfully"] received from a ["customer"]. Granting them a physiology similar to that of a mechanical machine. Allowing to shrug off a majority of dangers that normally threaten a [MEAT PERSON]. They are able to fly at great speeds and ascend as high as they want due to the [[Silly Strings]] attached to their back once in this form. For combat they have many options, from blasting opponents with their arm cannon, opening their chest cavity for their own mechanical heart to spring out and shoot out white diamonds, and even increasing their own size to ram into and squish their opposition.
• [OMEGA]: The second and most powerful and the two transformations the user can undergo once the deal has been made, and is made when on top of absorbing material items, they also take into both the souls of people who gave them up and actual living people who sold their lives to the user. The main difference between the two forms is not only in power but also in sheer size and mobility being more slow. During both transformations, the user experiences a even higher boost in their ability of manipulating and transforming their [“property”] into anything advertisable.

P/N: I had created this fruit around the beginning of 2022, but never got around to actually starting anything. But then around the time Spamton Sweepstakes started I then, randomly out of nowhere, thought of the entire concept for the devil fruit.
I will say that I gave up at the end with the awakening moves, due to not feeling the best. But I just wanted to get this devil fruit over and done with. Any of the moves are up for interpretation.

Un top 5 c'est trop facile, et ça change tout le temps.donc qeul sont ces jeux qui vous ont marqués, pour diverses raisons, qui ont changés votre approche des JV sur le long terme etc, qui ont fait de vous la joueuse/le joueur que vous êtes.
( 20 jeux maximum sinon on va jamais s'en sortir, classés plus ou moins par ordre dans lequel je les ai découvert).

• Super Mario world
• Zelda : a link to the past
• Final Fantasy X -Chrono trigger -Resident evil 4 -Beyond : Two souls
• Xenoblade chronicle X -Dark souls 2
• Axiom Verge
• Hollow knight
• Bloodborne
• zelda : breath of the wild
• zelda : majora's Mask -Dead cells
• Death stranding
• The evil within
• Blasphemous
• Elden Ring

Voilà voilà, faites moi découvrir vos jeux du cœur !

Hello my name is Mads and I enjoy literate RP. I’m 23. Please comment below to discuss if you’re interested. I have an Elden ring oc, Adelina (Ada for short). She’s a runt omen and the daughter of Mohg. Her information is below. https://www.tumblr.com/tarnishedlambkin/710824434242600960/adelina-daughter-of-blood-written-by-mads-i
Any character is fine and fellow OCs are welcome. Mohg, Varré, Morgott and other characters relevant to her lore would be great. SFW preferred. Romance needs build up (I ship her with Varré but even then I want build up). Darker themes are okay because this is Elden ring after all. Looking foreword to RP with you owo

Ok first post on here so hopefully this goes well. Doing a closet clean out and hopefully some of you fine men and women can put this stuff to use. PayPal G&S per sub rules.
PICS: https://imgur.com/a/ppVf67U
Everything here is priced shipped:
MR762 KeyMod Rail - $50
MPX Rail for 16" Barrel - $40
MPX Barrel 4.5" (I think) this was an 8" that was chopped down. Threads are good 1/2x28 - $50
MPX Factory Trigger - $25
SCAR Factory Trigger (2 available) - $25 each
SCAR 17 factory muzzle and shoulder ring - $25
SCAR 16 Factory Flash Hider (taken off 10" barrel) - $35
YHM 1/2x28 Phantom Suppressor Mount: $25
Larue Tactical LT660 (for the T-1/T-2 and H-1/H-2) light salt - $75
A2 Pistol Grips - $15 for all 4
Dead Air Asylum Package (Got this for buying too much dead air stuff) everything pictured dead air is included, shirt is an XL - $40
THE FOLLOWING CAN ONLY BE PURCHASED AS AN ADD ON TO SOMETHING ABOVE:
Geissele Super Gas Block NO ROLL PIN - $10
AR15 7.62x39 Magazine - $5
Random Bird Cage Flash Hider - $5
Magpul GenM3 7.62x51 Magazine - $8
DD Milspec Brown vertical grip (picatinny) - $10
DD black vertical grip - $5
DD Carbine Burnsed Loop - $5
Random IMI magazine - $5

Be me: Kol-Jha, Koldemar Sorcerer
Be not me: DM; Silit, Kobold Rogue; Levi/The Replacement, Suli Warpriest; Vira Noral Vitalist; Velius Sylph, Druid; Spoon, Changeling Fighter;
After slaying the minor army of undead we complete the ritual and now to find the source...
There's one location left on the map; The Ruins.
Time to put a stop to all this undeath.
Arriving to the ruins Levi mentions they're less ruinous than they were before.
Kol mentions that a necromancer might be interested in having their undead refurbish the place.
DM calls for Perception...
Flickering flames from down the hallway but vision is reduced...
SomeA thing rumbling and wind whirring comes from down the hall...
Silit crouches and disappears from view Skyrim style
She sneaks on up and peeks around a corner...
She sees animate piles of rocks shambling about and dust devils milling about apparently of their own volition.
There's some kind of barrier blocking the door on the far side.
Knowledge(Planes)... and she fails the check.
She brings the info back and Kol manages a Nat1 IDing one type and not much better on the other.
Between the whole party we kinda know what the rocks are and know for sure the dust devils are air elementals.
We cast our buffs and Initiative is rolled.
Vira managed to roll -1 on Initiative...
Levi charges in! Or not as DM is claiming a corner of the room's wall is preventing a charge...
A little geometry later and he's got his charge.
Silit's turn. She takes aim and fires a bolt at one of the air elementals... critical miss. Weapon jammed, no attack next turn.
Velius... decides to start summoning a Crocodile.
The Earth elementals try and fail to strike Levi
Kol throws Jolt trying to zap one of the elementals... don't know if it did anything.
Vira's turn. She tries to steal HP... and fails.
The elementals try to attack Levi and fail
Levi's turn! He empowers his blades with elemental power and attacks the Earth Elementals.
Silit... can't attack but can move. They reposition for a good position.
Velius! His croc appears! They toss a mudball... and it misses.
The croc! Also misses.
The Earth Elementals hit Levi
Kol moves up and misses throwing another Jolt.
Vira steps into melee to steal health.
Air elementals... wiff.
Levi slays the first air elemental!
Silit misses.
Velius & Croc. The Croc chomps on an air elemental... or not, miss.
Velius moves up and stabs... missing.
Kol moves into melee and confirms a crit with his Tail Attachment... too bad they're immune.
Vira fails again to steal health.
Levi manages a single hit against one of the Earth Elementals.
Silit's turn... miss
Velius stabs the air elemental and the croc finishes it off.
Velius repositions to give Levi flanking
The Earth elementals crit Levi! Crit table: 'Chest struck, heart punctured by ribs, immediate death'
Well damn, none of us have revives.
The other manages to hit Velius
Kol throws Jolt and steps up to provide flanking.
Vira steps up... and wiffs.
V&C the croc moves up and chomps then Velius finishes it off.
The final Earth Elemental hits Vira
Kol wiffs.
Vira... manages to steal HP from it!
Velius kills the last earth elemental and the barrier falls.
And the next fight begins immediately: Two large fire elementals!
Proper disclosure: Mood thoroughly soured by this point.
Kols turn as we kept init order. Hit.
Vira steals more HP.
The elementals slay the croc.
Silit takes aim... and misses.
Velius summons a geyser to douse the fire elementals
Kol fails to connect w a Jolt
Vira also misses.
An elemental misses trying to hit Kol
The other provokes AoO from Kol & Vira
Kol misses, Vira hits... and it sets her clothes on fire.
Silit makes a break past the fire elementals to get good aim on them.
They manage to set Silit on fire.
Velius casts create water, dousing Silit.
Kol connects a Jolt to the first elemental.
Vira... is still on fire but she manages to steal it's HP
The gyser douses them again.
The elemental strikes Velius and sets them on fire too...
Silit manages a hit against them... would've been a crit if these weren't elementals.
Velius' turn. Creative spellwork douses both Velius and Vira with Create Water
Kol provokes two AoOs and laughs them both off... however he should've spent more time aiming and less time laughing as he misses.
Vira slays one and steals 5 more HP for us.
Footsteps behind us... somebody has entered the ruin.
The fire elemental's slams continue to bounce off Kols unbreakable defenses.
Silit fails to connect with another bolt.
Velius throws mudball... and hits blinding the elemental.
Kol connects with Jolt
Vira follows up stealing HP for the party
The footfalls come closer, somebody jogging up on us from behind.
An animate suit of armor... wielding a giant spoon in both hands.
It strikes the elemental slaying it.
All of us but Vira press onward to continue the dungeon delving...
Vira tries to talk to Spoon. Spoon replies with writing then runs off after the party.
Silit leads the way deeper in...
The finds a few elementals... and they spot her.
Kol steps up to defend her... and cast Light because it's dark in here and the healer can't see.
The elementals move up to engage Kol and all miss
Vira's turn. She stumbles forward in the dark trying to get to the light.
Spoon charges into battle... and misses.
More XP joins the fray.
Silit 5ft steps back and fires a crossbow bolt at some of the encroaching hoard of elementals.
Velius joins the fray and stabs at one... and sets himself on fire again.
Kol steps back and Jolts
The elementals advance and try to kill Spoon
Vira leeches more HP from the enemy.
The elemental fair to hit Kol again.
Silit nails one through the melee.
Velius throws their burning spear at an earth elemental
Kol has a new toy... and decided he can spare one casting: Lightning Bolt
Slay one Earth Elemental, seriously wound a second, and zap a fire pretty good too
The Earth Elementals manage to wound Spoon.
Spoon rolls a crit-fail. ree
Silit puts an elemental down.
Velius grabs his backup spear and stabs at the fire elemental.
Kol throws Jolt provoking 2 AoOs. He hits and the elementals decide to try and focus Kol
Vira steals more HP slaying one.
Spoon steps up and cleaves! Dissipating a fire elemental.
Velius fumbles but keeps their footing.
The elementals continue their onslaught with Spoon taking another big hit.
Vira goes to steal more HP
Spoon gets a strike in.
The elementals ineffectually bounce off Kols invulnerable defenses.
Silit gets a crit-miss... they stumble but manage to not fall on their face
Velius stabs... miss.
Kol tries to tail-strike and his tail-attachment breaks on a crit-miss.
The elementals manage to wound Spoon again.
Vira slays the fire elemental stealing the last of it's HP
Silit keeps on pumping bolts into elementals, racking up another kill
Velius' turn. They reposition to get flanking and strike true.
Kol Jolts in melee costing them their AoOs.
The remaining two decide to focus Velius wounding them.
Vira rips more HP keeping us all nice and healthy
Spoon drops his spoon. Crit-miss, and picking up his weapon he takes the AoOs Kol usually laughs off, taking serious damage.
Silit runs past and attacks the Obelisk in the room.
Velius takes a look at the Obelisk and they believe it to be a summoning system that'll refresh the room
Kol steps away to look at the Obelisk...
Spoon gets hit by the elementals again.
Vira slays another elemental and redistributes it's HP
Spoon reduces the Earth elemental to rubble
Silit readies an action to counter a summoned elemental
Velius... walks up and pokes the Obelisk with their spear.
Kol throws Jolt and chips the Obelisk
Vira tries siphoning HP
Spoon's spoon does nothing to it.
Silit's turn... can't hurt this thing, she's on overwatch for elementals
Velius burns a FlameBlade scroll...
Kol Shocking Grasps the Obelisk and takes a decent amount of HP off of it.
The Obelisk summons a new elemental and Silit nails a bolt into it.
Spoon strikes the new elemental then twists his ankle falling flat on his face trying to follow through to the Obelisk
Silit reposition for a clear line of fire and hits the elemental again.
Kol wiffs his Shocking Grasp and crit-fails.
Vira rips more HP off the new elemental
Spoon cleaves cutting more HP off the elemental but does nothing to the Obelisk.
Silit continues to lob bolts at the elemental
Velius slashes with his Flameblade
Kol connects with his Shocking Grasp.
Spoon PAs and... no damage on the Obelisk
More SP tax on Kol trying to kill the Obelisk
Kobold overwatch from Silit
Velius FBs the Obelisk
Kol loses balance but keeps his charge of Shocking Touch
Spoon & Vira join Silit on overwatch.
Velius slashes it
Kol is just regaining balance.
Party overwatch continues.
Velius slashes it again.
Kol connects with his Shocking Touch finally
The Obelisk summons more playthings for us.
The plaything dodges Spoon, then gets nailed by Silit, and finally gets HP drained by Vira
Velius taps the Obelisk for more fire damage
Kol pumps another Shocking Touch into the Obelisk slivering it.
The elemental hits spoon, wounding him.
Spoon hits it back, slaying it.
Velius and Kol finish it off with a Jolt and Flameblade
Session called, after midnight
​
Previous Session

Hello my name is Mads. My username is MadEye#9738 and I enjoy literate RP. I’m 23. Please comment below to discuss if you’re interested. I have an Elden ring oc, Adelina (Ada for short). She’s a runt omen and the daughter of Mohg. Her information is below. https://www.tumblr.com/tarnishedlambkin/710824434242600960/adelina-daughter-of-blood-written-by-mads-i
Any character is fine and fellow OCs are welcome. Mohg, Varré, Morgott and other characters relevant to her lore would be great. SFW preferred. Romance needs build up (I ship her with Varré but even then I want build up). Nsfw is earned. Darker themes are okay because this is Elden ring after all. Looking foreword to RP with you

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**
Looking to game and as a Netflix machine. Mostly single player. Current games would be Elden Ring, Cyberpunk, RDR2, Forza. Looking forward to Starfield, Armored Core IV. Would potentially like to delve into VR down the line.

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?

Looking to spend no more than $1300. I do need a monitor and mouse as well.

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

Not until May-ish. I know that means prices won’t be current, but I’d like to get an idea of what I should be looking for.

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

Tower, OS, monitor, mouse, would love some sound equipment if someone has a rec within the budget.

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?

Utah, USA. Looking like the nearest micro center is in CO.

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

I have a cheap keychron K8 keeb I intend to keep for now. Eventually want to build myself a nicer one.

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?

Probably not.

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)

I would like the most visually impressive setup I can get for the price.. prioritizing frame rate. I don’t know what any those acronyms mean. I also don’t want a huge case. If there’s any way to make things a wee bit smaller..

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

Perhaps a mid sized case. I don’t want anything too flashy, pushing towards the monochromatic look. Some lighting would be nice but not overkill.

Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?

Indeed I do, and no preference.

Extra info or particulars: Not sure how particular or reasonable this ask is. Just putting the feelers out there. Any advice is appreciated. If you’d prefer to just provide some critiques to the preferences mentioned, that’s welcome too since the buy is a little ways out. Thanks in advance!

It was a beautiful day in the fall, and though being in the middle of nowhere in Ohio isn’t exactly my ideal setting for an assignment, it could have been worse. Opening my windows, listening to music, and getting a good whiff of country air is a nice contrast to being cooped up in cities like I’m used to. The sight of brown stalks of corn populating the miles of fields along the road was welcome, as was the cool and clean smell of the air. It’s a good thing these jobs don’t involve much interaction with people. Unfortunately, some level of interaction is inevitable.
​
On my way to this one, I got a speeding ticket from a cop at some little local department. Though I was, in fact, speeding, I got the feeling that he also didn’t so much like seeing a fed in his neck of the woods. The local police aren’t a fan of us, so I’ve come to learn. They tend to get suspicious of us, thinking we’re up to some top-secret mission behind their backs. I guess they would be right.
​
I kept driving down the gravel road until the navigation let me know my destination was coming up on the right. Turning down the radio as I approached, I glanced toward the empty fields and the woods that met them beyond. I then turned into the long dirt driveway leading to our civilians’ house and garage.
​
I rolled up and parked with my trunk facing the porch. Stepping out, I got another whiff of the fresh country air and looked at the area of operations that lay before me. I was surprised at the amount of land and space that I had at my disposal. Space is good for these jobs. Additionally, I was informed that there weren’t any neighbors close enough to worry about. I couldn’t have asked for a better setting.
​
After stretching and letting out a light sigh, I decided it was time to get to work. I pulled the keychain out of my pocket and unlocked the front door. It seemed like a nice enough place. It was certainly nothing worth complaining about given the conditions of houses I’ve faced in my previous assignments. I went back outside to my massive, government-issued vehicle and opened the trunk.
​
I pulled the first couple of duffel bags worth of equipment out and brought them inside. The kitchen was as good a place as any to set up. After making five or six trips of dragging heavy bags and boxes of my junk into the house, I went back outside to open the garage. Thank God we were able to catch this case early and the civilians were able to make it out in time. It also meant I got room in the garage to park this thing. All that remained in the truck was the large metallic box, but I wasn’t going to need that until later.
​
I shut the trunk and pulled my vehicle into the garage, closing it on my way out. I stepped back into the house where I changed from my suit to my gear. Wearing the suit all day annoys me but I suppose the higher-ups want us to look like good, “friendly” feds to the public. The public has no idea the kind of monsters we are.
​
I unpacked box after box of equipment and weapons. I loaded up my Glock 17 with its extended 30-round magazine just as I did with my standard .556 rifle. I checked the laser sights on both. All good. Next was my favorite, the.338 with the best scope you could ever ask for. It sure is nice having a virtually infinite budget. Perks of working for the US federal government I suppose. The final firearm I brought was my personal .357 magnum revolver that I kept holstered on my chest. I figure it’s never a bad idea to have one more gun, just in case. Maybe I should have brought more on this one. If things got too close, I always had my hunting knife. I sharpened it that morning before heading out.
​
The next few hours consisted of me going out into the woods near the house in various places and setting up dozens of my little cameras equipped with motion sensors. They were there to give me an idea of the location of anything that got brave enough to get close to the fields that surrounded the house, I would be able to know about anything that was coming to me. I didn’t take too much caution in setting them up. Things never get interesting until nightfall.
​
I returned to the house where I turned on my laptop and assured that all the cameras were connected and working. I could see every single one of them from there and would know if anything so much as moved. I then got situated on a chair by the kitchen table, where I opened the window and set up my .338 rifle to watch the fields with.
​
I suppose it would be worth mentioning why I’m out here, setting up fancy equipment in the woods and loading up an arsenal of guns while I’m alone in a farmhouse that isn’t mine. Let’s back it up.
​
March 1st, 2017, 3:33 am, Iowa
​
Dispatch gets a call from a local farmer. He claims to be looking at a figure standing still at the edge of a treeline on his property. The description given by the farmer was that of a man of average stature and build, clothed in a loose black or grey shirt and trousers and a large-brimmed hat.
​
The farmer tells dispatch that he had awoken abruptly roughly an hour earlier, unspecified as to why. He spotted the figure outside his kitchen window soon after. The figure had been standing near the edge of a row of trees. It was facing the house and hadn’t moved a muscle since the farmer noticed him. The farmer quickly retrieved his rifle and walked out onto his lawn, proceeding to brandish his firearm and tell the trespasser that this property was his and to leave immediately. The farmer, seeing that the man remained unthreatened by his warning and display of a firearm, retreaded back into his home to retrieve his phone and call 9-1-1 as he continued to watch the figure from his porch.
​
During this call, the farmer’s voice was noticeably nervous and frightened. The desperate tone and quivering speech continued to worsen as he went on explaining the situation to dispatch. Dispatch instructed the farmer to remain where he stood and not to approach the trespasser. Dispatch reassured the farmer that the police were on their way. A few quiet and uneventful minutes passed. Then, without warning, the farmer let out a horrified scream through the phone. The call was disconnected seconds later.
​
The police began their over 40-minute drive to the residence. Halfway to their arrival, multiple new calls were coming to dispatch from the farmer’s neighbors. They reported seeing a large stack of smoke coming from the farmer’s home, and the closest reported seeing the house on fire.
​
By the time police arrived, the house had burned to the ground. The fire department arrived shortly after but oddly enough, the fire had completely subsided. What remained was the charred crumbs of what was once a house. The firefighters that arrived on site were bewildered by how quickly the fire must have burned the house. There was no explanation they could fathom.
​
The police searched the nearby fields and woods for the farmer and alleged trespasser to no avail, however, their search was quickly called back upon the findings of the firefighters in the house. The man’s charred bones were found beneath the rubble but not as they should have been. It became clear after further investigation that the man’s limbs were ripped from his body before it was incinerated at an impossible speed. 4 .308 bullet casings were found where the porch of the house used to be. The rifle was found just outside of the house, unscathed despite its proximity to such a violent fire. Forensics confirmed that the rifle had fired these casings but the bullets themselves were never found.
​
This was the first, but far from the last.
​
October 28th, 2017, 11:07 pm, Montana
​
Dispatch gets a call from a rancher who spotted a woman in an old-fashioned black and white dress and wearing a linen cap. The rancher claimed the woman was standing amongst his cattle and not moving. The rancher expressed no panic or concern for his safety over the phone, but rather a concern for the woman in the field. The rancher also noted that his cattle kept their distance around the woman.
​
An ambulance arrived at 11:29. Paramedics found no trace of the alleged woman. They walked to the entrance of the rancher’s house and discovered his door to be unlocked and open. After calling for the rancher and getting no response, they stepped inside to be greeted by the corpse of the rancher, hanging from a noose in his stairwell. The man had no history of mental illness and none of his relatives or acquaintances had any reason to believe he was suicidal. Additionally, an autopsy report concluded that both arms were broken in multiple places as well as every finger as if they had been crumpled together by a great force. He could not have tied the noose himself.
​
November 29th, 2018, 2:06 am, Wisconsin
​
Dispatch gets a call from another farmer. He had spotted a woman in an old black and white dress and linen cap. The woman had been standing in the long driveway from the road to his house, lit by the lamp that covered it. She stood motionless in the cold, windy, and heavily snowing weather. The farmer and his wife were later found under a collapsed wall of their crumpled house with stones placed on top. They had been placed in a seemingly orderly fashion until there was enough weight to crush their bones.
​
This happens to be the first incident we have on record with photo evidence. A trail cam owned by the farmer and his wife a few acres away from the house caught a picture the night of the incident. It caught a picture of the woman exactly as the farmer had described. Black and white dress, white linen camp. It looked as though she had stepped through time from hundreds of years before and placed like a mannequin in front of the camera.
​
May 30th, 2019, Minnesota
​
September 3rd, 2019, Nebraska
​
January 4th, 2020, South Dakota
​
I could go on but the point is that these incidents have been happening more and more frequently and they aren’t stopping. We do know what they are, or at least what they’re supposed to represent to us.
​
Every single one of these “people” lived in North America during the witch trials. We don’t believe they were the ones who were executed. We believe they were the ones who made the accusations, the ones who got their neighbors killed, the ones who carried out the executions and now they’re back to kill again.
​
Luckily, my department picked up on these patterns early on and designated a team to deal with them. There are a few hundred of us. I am in the dark about what everyone does exactly. I haven’t met many but I do know that some find potential incidents, some investigate, some deal with the cover-up and handling the publicity, and then, of course, there are the ones you send in to eradicate the problem. That’s where I come in.
​
I am here to hunt them down, to put them back in their graves so it would seem. Sometimes I get here before they’ve claimed a victim, sometimes after. But their reign of terror comes to an end with me. They’ve never gotten away from me, and I have never failed an assignment. I didn’t plan on this night being any different.
​
A beep sounded from my laptop screen as an outline from one of the cameras lit up, indicating that the motion sensor detected movement. It had been quiet since I set it up, there was not even the slightest sign of wildlife. No deer, no squirrels, nothing. I leaned forward and intently examined the camera that had been triggered. There was nothing to see. Another sensor triggered. Again, the camera showed nothing. My eyes darted from camera to camera, looking for motion. Another camera triggered, though all that I caught sight of was a shaking tree branch. There was no wind today. Another. This time I saw it. A dog-looking figure darted across the camera in only a few frames, but I knew it was no dog.
​
I turned my attention from the cameras to the field in front of me, where the movement had come from. I got behind my rifle and looked down the scope to the treeline in the distance. My heart began to pound in my chest at an intense tempo.
​
I could feel the adrenaline kicking in while I scanned the edge of the field for movement. All that greeted me was the orange glint of the setting sun on the treeline and the tiny shadows of the little stumps of corn stalks in the otherwise empty field. It was silent. Not even a wind accompanied me this evening, though I can’t complain. It’s better for shooting.
​
For a few minutes, I continued to run my scope along the treeline, occasionally getting a peek with my own eyes. It was during one of these peeks when I noticed a color out of place, in between a couple of trees on the other side of the field—some sort of black-and-white spec that was there not a second before. I lowered my head down, back behind the scope, and centered it. As I steadied the scope, a man-like figure standing at the edge of the field came into focus.
​
It wore black, tattered rags of clothing that hung loosely on its rigid frame. It stood still, stiff as a board. Its eyes were fixed on something ahead of it. It took me a moment to realize it was focused on me. It didn’t move a muscle, not even blinking as it stared.
​
I came to my senses and prepared to do my job. I flipped the safety off of my rifle and centered my crosshairs on its chest. I began to breathe deeply, my finger on the trigger, ready to pull but I didn’t take the shot, not yet. I saw it start to move.
​
Even with the distance between us, my scope made the picture of this figure clear as day. The movement came from only one part of its body; its mouth. First, its crusty lips detached from one another and the mouth began to open. Steadily, it opened more, and more all the while the rest of its body and head remained fixed. Its jaw sank to what should have been all the more it could, but it didn’t stop. It fell further, dipping down below its chest, its skin like a stretched rubber band waiting to snap, though it didn’t, it kept stretching.
​
Still stiff as a board, the man-like thing remained with its eyes locked on me while its mouth sat open, impossibly wide. It stood still with its hanging jaw for a moment, a moment I shouldn’t have given it. Now I knew I had my target. I began to apply pressure to the trigger before I was stopped, shaken by a force.
​
A scream, like a choir of souls in despair being dragged off to hell, with the power of a thousand horns sounding the start of a medieval battle rung through the fields. Its volume caused flocks of birds in the nearby trees to fly away in a panic, its bass shuddered through my chest and left me too hypnotized to pull the trigger. I’ll never get used to hearing one of them scream.
​
“Here we go”
​
I muttered to myself, the only thought I could conjure from my brain at the moment.
​
Closing its mouth, it leaped forward and reached for the ground in front of it with its hands fixed like claws. As soon as they met the ground, the feet followed and planted themselves quickly so that it could boost itself forward once again. It had begun its terrible charge. All the while, its face remained fixed on me, rotting teeth exposed and clenched in rage. The speed at which it rushed across the empty field would make a deer running for its life look lazy in comparison, but I was the prey here.
​
Though my heart began to race at the sight of this abomination barreling toward me, this anomaly of hatred and hunger bound to flesh, I remained calm. I began to steady my breathing, taking control of each breath, in and out.
​
Inhale. Exhale.
​
Inhale. Exhale.
​
Inhale. Exhale.
​
Squeeze.
​
The crack of the shot rang out through the dimming sky and the field before me, my response to its enraged scream. I remained fixed on the target, observing the spatter of blood as it shot from its back. It began to scream again, this time rapidly and desperate in tone. I quickly moved the bolt and chambered the next round, accompanied by the soft ring of the brass bouncing on the floorboards under my chair.
​
Although I managed to land a clean shot to the chest, it didn’t do much. It kept running, keeping on at its same speed. Though now it changed its direction and was running adjacent to my position in the house. It was trying to flank me. It wanted to find a way around my line of sight. I couldn’t let it.
​
Again, I took control of my breathing. Slowly, I drifted my rifle on the bipod until the creature came back into view. Its limbs pounded at the ground with speed and power as it propelled itself across the field. I’ll never get used to seeing one run either.
​
Starting behind it, I continued to move the scope, just fast enough to begin gaining on him, just fast enough to let the crosshairs catch up. Inhale. Exhale. The crosshairs slowly began to overtake it. Inhale. Exhale. Squeeze.
​
I chambered the next round quickly. This shot brought him to the ground, but it didn’t keep him there. After a short tumble, it rose and began to run again, this time back towards the woods it came from. Inhale. Exhale. Squeeze.
​
The third shot grazed its back. Frustrated, I chambered another round and took aim, but it was far too late. Before I could even begin to line up my fourth shot, it had taken one final leap from the field back into the treeline it came from.
​
I let out a sigh and hung my head in disappointment. I knew what I had to do next but I sure as hell didn’t want to. The last flickers of sunlight shone through the open window and lit my .338 rifle as I reloaded the magazine. I sat and stared blankly at the screen in front of me, hoping a camera would pick up some sort of movement that could clue me into wherever it ran off to. Knowing my luck, I shouldn’t have expected it to.
​
After coming to terms with reality, I stood up and grabbed my .556, slinging it around my body and letting it hang in front of me. I aimed it down, looking through its sight and testing its laser again before checking the chamber. Good to go. Next, I adjusted the night vision set to my head before picking up my .338 and heading for the door. As I stepped outside, I let out another sigh, this one of stress. Hunting these things at night, on their own turf is never as fun, nor as easy as finishing them quickly from a distance but what choice did I have? I just wanted to get it over with.
​
I flipped down my goggles and switched them on, illuminating the dark field in green and white. I began my long walk across. It took me longer than expected. The speed of that monstrosity caused me to underestimate the size of the field. Each step I took was slow and quiet. I didn’t want the crunch of my feet meeting the dirt and remnants of corn stalks to disturb my hearing. If that thing made a noise, I needed to hear it. If only I could have quieted my incessant heavy, nervous breathing too.
​
I was not even halfway to the treeline when I reached the first pool of blood, where I had shot it for the second time, and it decided to retreat. Bits of flesh were scattered about the ground, but I didn’t care to stop and look. Instead, I focussed on the blood I could see that led back into the woods.
​
Any experienced hunter has had to track a deer or two. It can be very frustrating. The trail isn’t always so clear, and you never know how far it has gotten. In my case, I knew this thing was still alive, and it was angry.
​
I continued my walk, splitting my attention between the blood trail on the ground and the treeline in front of me, scanning for movement and listening. If I was lucky enough, it would have gotten bold and tried to take me down in the field. Unfortunately, I’m not so lucky. Silently, I followed the trail until it met the woods. I stopped walking and calmed myself.
​
I didn’t want to go past those damn trees, but there was no avoiding it. I had a job to do. I extended the bipod of my .338 and lowered it to the ground before raising the stock of my other rifle to my shoulder. I took a deep breath and resumed my walk, now even slower and more cautious. At least now my heavy breathing would be drowned out by the sound of snapping twigs beneath my feet.
​
Immediately upon entering the woods, I spotted the next sight of blood. It came from a tree branch, its leaves covered in the dripping crimson liquid. I walked up to observe, only to notice more blood on the branch above that one. And the next. I noticed the pattern and followed each branch up, one by one, each with its leaves covered in blood. Suddenly a mass moved on top of the tree next to the one I was looking up at.
​
I swung my rifle up, pointing above me at the top of the trees. The mass turned and into view came two glowing eyes, like white lights in my night vision. It opened its mouth again to let out another deafening scream but I raised my rifle and took aim. Its scream was cut short by a bang from my barrel and the thud of the rounds meeting flesh. I was only able to squeeze half a dozen rounds off before it leaped away, to the tops of the neighboring trees.
​
I kept shooting as it jumped from one tree to another, though within seconds it was out of my line of sight. I charged through the woods after it and watched it leap impossible distances, shaking trees so hard I thought some might snap. All the while I kept trying and failing, to line up a clean shot. The ones I did manage to squeeze off were either misses or ineffective.
​
Even at the full-on sprint that I managed to sustain for a good few minutes, I was barely able to keep up. I almost abandoned the chase entirely before I saw an opportunity. There was a clearing ahead. A trail. The distance across was far too wide for it to jump. It took a sharp right once it realized this and began jumping from tree to tree along the trail. I rushed into the opening before kneeling to line up a shot. I followed it with my sights, tracking the timing of each leap, and letting t it land and leap once more before it settled on a new tree. I shot off two more rounds as it braced to leap again.
​
They were perfectly placed and its body tumbled in the air and crashed violently to the ground. Having lined up my sight, I squeezed the trigger again to hear the absence of a gunshot, replaced by the click of the firing pin in the empty chamber. I screamed curses at myself as I quickly exchanged magazines. By the time I looked up, the body was already gone.
​
I got to my feet and continued down the trail at a jog-like pace with my rifle at the ready. I was beginning to get frustrated more than anything. I’ve put dozens of these things in the ground before, I didn’t understand why was I having such a hard time with this one. As I approached a curve in the trail, I slowed my pace and brought the stock of my rifle back to my shoulder. I approached the curve from the outside of the trail, trying to get a clear view of what was beyond when my head violently snapped to the left.
​
My vision went suddenly dark and it took me a few moments to realize that I wasn't dead, nor was I unconscious. Something hit my night vision goggles and knocked them clear off of my head, breaking the mount they sat on. My eyes were only beginning to adapt to the dark when another object came flying towards my head, narrowly missing as it whistled forcefully past my ear. It was a rock, around the size of a football. I couldn’t help but glance behind me in astonishment at the object that had nearly decapitated me before turning my attention back to what threw it.
​
Sure enough, there it was. Standing behind the trees at the corner of the path. I let my anger take control and began to fire rapidly at its torso. My disregard for accuracy hardly mattered at this range. Regrettably, it meant I was now closer than I would have liked and it began to charge. I landed shot after shot. Blood spurted from its back and painted the tree branches and leaves that it passed as it barreled toward me.
​
Again, my magazine went empty. Instead of bothering to reload a new one, I quickly drew my Glock and continued my rapid fire on the beast. It broke into the clearing and fell to all fours before it leaped forward and ran as it had done in the field. It closed the distance between us in seconds.
​
A hand clenched around my throat and I was lifted off of the ground like a feather. It kept running, past the edge of the clearing and carrying me into the woods. I continued to pepper it at point-blank range with my pistol. Between shots, I could hear its hysterical laughter directed at my futile efforts. Its face smiled with a look of sadistic insanity.
​
I continued shooting until my magazine went dry and I was stuck with an empty gun. With nothing else I could do, I began to beat its face with the empty pistol. This seemed to piss it off. It violently threw me through the air. I felt my body snap dozens of branches before I met the ground and rolled uncontrollably.
​
Recovering quickly, I grasped the rifle still slung around me and replaced the empty magazine with a new one. It was mere feet away from me when I started to fire. I got a few shots off before it grabbed my arm. This time I whipped the barrel of my rifle up, clubbing it hard across the face. It let out a short, irritated scream. I thrust my barrel at the top of its head, knocking it back as it emitted another angry grunt. It reached up with its left arm and tried to grab the barrel before half of its fingers were blown off by my next shot. It recoiled its arm in pain before swinging it back at me.
​
Upon contact, my rifle flew out of my hands and the sling came undone from my body as it was thrown far into the woods behind me. I attempted to retreat before he grabbed me with his right hand, and what remained of his left around my neck. Again, I was picked up and it carried me, this time only a short distance to a tree. My back cracked as I was slammed into the bark.
​
It looked up at me and smiled again.
​
“We killed our sinners, we brought justice to our land. We brought justice for God”
​
I ignored its foul speech, lifting an arm and hooking it across the face with a firm punch. It had no effect.
​
“You are all sinners, and you will die for your sins as they did”
​
Again, I struggled and pummeled its face with everything I could muster but it still did nothing.
​
“Now go and burn in the lake of fire”
​
It shouted, before laughing with a dozen sadistic voices all coming from its mouth.
​
It opened its mouth and its jaw was once again stretched to what should be an impossible level. It lowered me until I was level with it. It moved its open mouth toward my head, shaking with rage. Its teeth now inches from my face. Its breath, foul. With my left arm, I drew my knife, slashing it across the chest before plunging it into its neck. I hooked a punch with my right arm that finally caused it to stumble. It wound up its own punch and let it loose. I narrowly escaped, ducking out of the way before its fist met the tree and went right through, splitting it in half before the wood tumbled to the ground.
​
I took this opportunity to draw my .357. He recovered from its punch and faced me, pulling the knife from its neck and letting blood spurt and gush. It stared me down as it slowly approached, ready to deliver its finishing blow.
​
Its head was shaking now, harder than ever in anger, its mouth hung open to half its capacity where it showed its rows of rotting human teeth. I raised my revolver and attempted to steady my sights but I was too shaky. I quickly collected myself. Inhale. Exhale. The front sight became level with the rear. Squeeze.
​
The recoil caused the gun to rise enough for me to get a look at the damage. I clipped its mouth, in the corner of its jaw. It hung open, with one side detached completely. It wailed in pain as it gargled its blood and crumbled to the ground. I aimed again, cocking the hammer. Squeeze. With the second round, I detached its jaw completely.
​
“Let’s see you bite me now, fucker”
​
I painfully muttered with anger. It dropped my knife and was now laying flat on its back, breathing heavily. I approached, cocking the revolver again as I did. It reached out with its mangled hand but I kicked it away before placing my barrel to its skull. Squeeze. And then silence.
​
After dragging the body back to the field, I spent the next few hours retrieving my lost and damaged equipment, as well as tediously finding every one of my cameras. I then retrieved my vehicle and drove it to the edge of the field. There was just one more thing to do.
​
I opened my trunk and pulled out the metallic box. I don’t understand why they make these things so goddamn heavy. I opened it and placed the corpse inside before securing the extremely heavy-duty lock. Next was the hole. It wasn’t easy digging after I had been roughed up and tossed around by an undead religious maniac with superhuman strength, but at least this was the last thing I had to do.
​
I finished digging the hole, placed the metal casket inside, and covered it up. From there, I collected my equipment, packed it up, and took off. Supposedly there’s a cleanup crew that comes in after we’re done with these missions and destroys any bizarre evidence.
​
I suspect they take the body as well. Where do they take it? What do they do with it? I have no clue but I’ve been strictly reminded to not ask questions on the matter and to just stick to doing my job. Still, I always find myself wondering.
​
What I have even more questions about is why these things exist in the first place. What the hell is going on? Why them? Why now? Has this been going on for longer than I know? Am I being lied to? What happens next, in the future, if this keeps going on? It’s only been getting worse. They’ve only been popping up more and more frequently. When does it end? Does it end?
​
I have more questions than I do answers but what I can tell you is that this problem isn’t going away anytime soon. It’s only going to get worse. There are only going to be more of them, not less. The death toll will only continue to rise. People are going to find out sooner or later. It might as well be now. Maybe we will stop them. Maybe this will all come to an end one day, or maybe we are the ones who are all going to meet our end. Either way, I’ll be there to see it.

Greetings Tarnished!
This is the place to ask any questions you may have about Elden Ring. This includes obscure detail questions, "newbie" advice questions, build questions, boss advice questions, and what have you.
Well written, constructive criticism is fine but please avoid ranting about aspects of the game you just don’t like. This includes “so and so boss is stupid and too difficult.”
If you are interested in the game but don’t own it yet, please don’t post “should I buy this game?” or “Is this game worth it?”. If you have played other FromSoftware games and enjoyed them, the answer is yes. If you haven’t, just do a little research! These games are difficult, and sometimes frustrating, and not everyone is going to enjoy them. And that’s okay!
Lastly, be friendly! We are all here because we are interested in the same game! Please treat your fellow players with respect.
Here are a few helpful links:
Our Discord which has an awesome Helper Request System!
Elden Ring Wiki
Elden Ring Map
Most Recent Patch Notes (1.06)
/BeyondTheFog for co-op help!
/PatchesEmporium for item trading!
/EldenRingBuilds for builds and build help!
Our community password is straydmn
Rise, Tarnished!

Why I Am So Good at Writing

by Faircod (Y.)(B.) (IATIATTA; TATATIA)
(Please read past the hyperlinks on first reading or don't. Thank you, or no thank you.)
Also here: IMLL
Why am I so good at writing? You might ask yourself as you find your reading wobbly, asking If the gas you passed through on the corner of this moment to breathe here was hallucinated.
Was the gas you passed hallucinated?
The gas you passed when you pulled your sternum whole to breathe this moment, then to breathe it out, it was and was not a hallucination by the writer of this sentence, telling it so.
It was and was not
Was and was not. A tiring phrase. “Yes, yes, you greymatter-missilebrity. You are so smart. Why do you permit the rise of Walmart? Welp, if you’re so smart, cannot you make love harder?”
“Was and was not.” Why should we read this? (Professor of Creative Writing, Earl Cornfield: Well, that is and is not a question being forced here. Authoring is a gravedigger’s business,
These five were the words the poet spoke to me; all else, he kissed. It was and was not last winter, when the season’s red piss
This entire charade, entitled “Why I Am So Good…” is ended to carry out a scene on the foregoing lines, intended to demonstrate beyond reasonable compunction I am so good.
To demonstrate (beyond reasonable compunction) By Professor of Creative Writing, Earl Cornfield
Why should we read this?
These five are the words the poet says to me; all else, he jizzes. This was and was not at college, when our reasons’ lead kisses
Were, and are, and are not, a question being forced here. Pluncking it each, the member spat out the choked tear,
Like a fable unsent, a nun, cloaked in modesty. Punishing it, plummeting from, roped in its tree,
I hooked my fingerbones over his phylogeny and This was why the poem smeared all over my hand
Is why should we read this By Professor of Creative Writing, Earl Cornfield:
To demonstrate (beyond reasonable compunction) Authoring is a gravedigger’s business.
Authoring is a gravedigger’s business
These five were the words the poet spoke to me; all else, he kissed: Authoring is a gravedigger’s business.
It was and was not last winter, when the season’s red piss Arboring me in housejogger christmas
Mellowed me, pleistocene puppy-minder, till all I would want is a prince Emptying his eloquence in full view of mine, for pure lust’s fey evidence:
Mental ring of pink doilies, pure pleistocene Exiting the clown in a househunter business
That is and that was a sober bride-collection of a christmas trip, A weary reflection trying the mind on its worrying glide through film.
Of a business trip glide through film
I wish you to know, this was strictly business. Strictly, it is my wish to glide through this film
Of a business trip, and rush back to my room. Blurry capsule, end to end, some millimeters,
Here in my head, it filters the entire orchestra. Lipfillered, It is in this case replete pleistocene
Christmas complete and combined with this.
A pleistocene christmas complete & combined with this
Businessweek: All About the New Class Consciousness The new class consciousness is not afraid to be ordinary.
The new class consciousness sees without needing to say, For the class consciousness is embedded by its very nature
In ordinary sense-making in the carrying out of the mature. In the carrying out of the mature, the sense-making denizens
Hold a pleistocene christmas replete and respined in <Arizona,> In the form of a cactus parade where the cactuses resplendeth
Ouching with glyphs their landmineral-heistcluster accomplices.

Time sure flies, doesn't it? We are about to ring in a brand new year, and as we do so, the release of Grand Theft Auto V is now more than six years old (and is fast approaching five years on PC). Given the time that has elapsed, it is certainly possible (maybe even plausible) that Rockstar Games is deep in development on Grand Theft Auto VI. To that end, a supposed QA tester claims to have the skinny on the next installment.
We should preface this information with a disclaimer. There is no way of knowing if the supposed QA tester is what the person claims to be, or if any of the leaked details are accurate. All we know is that it's been a long time since the last Grand Theft Auto gaming (though Grand Theft Auto Online has been receiving continued updates and support).
What is interesting about the situation, though, is the anonymous source first posted the leak on Reddit, and it was removed by the moderators. It's not clear if perhaps Rockstar Games pressured the mods to take down the content. All that said, let's jump into it.
The folks at Dexerto managed to preserve the post. According to the original poster, the map in GTA VI is "huge" and covers to major cities, those being Carcer City and Vice City. Carcer City is based on Boston, and Vice City is based on Miami.
According to the leaker, GTA V is a "schoolyard playground" compared to the massive map in GTA VI. The leakers says Rockstar Games improved the weather effects and polished things up, borrowing from its experience on Red Dead Redemption 2.
"The map is huge, like stupendously huge, hence the game's emphasis on air travel. It makes GTA 5 look like a schoolyard playground. There is an array of atmospheric effects that bring out the life in everything. Light pollution, hurricane winds, morning fog, etc. I've never seen an open world game this realistic before," the leaker wrote.
Grand Theft Auto V Plane and Traine
Assuming all that is accurate, it would be a good opportunity to inject real-time ray tracing into the mix, though there is no mention of that. Instead, the focus is on the size of the map. The leaker says it's so big that it's "a little awkward traveling from Boston to Miami," in part because there are no other major cities in between them, in the game. Expect a lot of air travel, if that's the case.
The leaker also says GTA VI will again put players in control of multiple characters, just like in GTA V. One of the protagonists is said to be "an undercover cop or something," and other might possibly be a sibling. In addition, the leaker says Rockstar Games "complete revamped" the mission design.
"You can permanently abandon some missions or take different routes that sprout different consequences," the leaker says.
For more supposed details, you can check out this screen capture on Imgur, uploaded by another Reddit user (Colonize-Mars).

I am not some kind of scientist, physicist, or mathematician. I'm just a normal, ordinary person, who likes video games, watching movies, and overthinking things.
But, this morning when I was taking a shower, suddenly the way to turn back in time came to my mind. Of course, it is a theory that I have gone over and over in my head throughout the day.
What would happen if something went wrong? Would it affect the timeline of things? What if I don't remember anyone? Questions like these have been running through my head all this time, but, I really have nothing to lose. I don't have children, my partner just broke up with me, and I quit my job, I mean, I don't have any responsibilities that bind me to this timeline and stop me for execute this little experiment.
Of course, I have several options designed for the time to which I would like to return. It could be at the beginning of university, where I had my first love and had the whole future of the world at my fingertips by studying engineering, as my mother dreamed. It's a good idea since it would be before I made the excellent decision to drop out and thereby become the stinky lazy loser that I am.
Or maybe go back to high school where I can get revenge on the people who bothered me and also be at the premiere of incredible sagas like "The Lord of the Rings" on the big screen again. My favorite movies. And play with my old video game console, but I think it would be the newest console at that time, right? Celebrating the best Christmas once again with my whole family would be one of the best things that I would like to repeat, to be honest. And have another chance to tell my grandparents that I love them. I really miss them. I guess they'd be disappointed if they saw me now.
However, I think the best option is to go back to my childhood, at that time everything was easier because I received the things I wanted, I watched cartoons all day and I had no responsibilities like paying debts, looking for a job and I was never depressed. Those were good times, I would like to return there. It would be the best.
I can have the opportunity to make my life one more time. Wow! I don't understand why I hadn’t thought of that before. I guess it's because I hit my lowest point and at this moment, my brain found a solution.
With this post, I hope to confirm or throw away my theory. If I'm still here tomorrow it was because I failed and I'll keep you posted on what happened to me, and if I don't show up again it's because I figured out a way to go back in time.
And to do it, I just need some blood from my wrists and sleep until the next morning.
Good night everybody.

So, I got Elden Ring at launch. The promise of a FromSoft game, which I'd never had luck with, being open world and less linear spoke to my soft little brain.
Annnnnd I hated it. I felt lost. Confused. Just meandering. Felt like I wasn't getting anywhere and just didn't get 'it.' I was a weird mix of magic and strength and everything. I was just using whatever I found if it looked cool.
I killed Margot, after countless times, and then just wandered and didn't really find my next journey and gave up when I got stumped by random Enemies in the castle.
Cut to about 3 weeks ago, something caught my eye about Elden Ring and I wanted to give it a go. I read some articles about builds, which was something I hadn't considered in my first go round.
I bought the game again and embarked with a simple "Beserk" build in mind. And I loved it. I felt like I was doing it properly now.
I found a good rythym with 2 swords and jump attacks. Found the talisman that boosts jump attacks and found my style. A jump attack and a quick dual handed combo.
Then I met Godrick The Grafted and it was fucking epic. After the cut scene, we ran at each other and like a fucking anime, we both jumped and collided mid air. The music was soaring and I was just feeling it.
My finance was having a ball watching me react and freak out over how epic and grandeous it was. I died. A lot. But I understood what I had to do and was actually enjoying the challenge?
I was like "is this it? Am I elden ringing?"
Got a flame negation for his phase 2 and buckled down. I wasn't getting greedy, I was attacking and rolling away. Dodging like a beast and fucking did it.
It was actually an immense moment of completion. It felt like I achieved something with the game and did what I was supposed to. I learned his attacks, and just enjoyed the fight.
I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm now 60 odd hours in and I think that Godrick the Grafted fight has just stuck with me. It was one of the best moments in my "gaming career" and I just wanted to say I now get why this game is so heralded and enjoyable haha while being so fucking frustrating.

I cash out this lady, 3 minutes before my shift ended tonight rang up her case of water. I told her the total (it’s plus tax btw this context is important.)
“So why did it say 5.99 on the shelf of its just gonna ring up to 8.00??”
I wasn’t in the mood nor did I have the time to deal with a rude customer, I went back to the previous screen to see if it rang up correctly and it did. She rudely told me that shouldn’t be right, “three dollars for tax?? That can’t be right. Can you get a manager to fix this?”
I keep trying to explain to her that it’s just plus tax. Told her all ETLS are gone for the night and the closest she’d get is a 16 year old cart attendant. And if she had a complaint she should just come back in the morning. She just ended up leaving.
Good fuckin riddance DO PEOPLE FOREGT PLUS TAX IS A FUCKIN THING? Welcome to New York. Everything is fuckin expensive.

“God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe say, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
God say, "No, " Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want Abe, but
Next time you see me comin', you better run"
Abe said, "Where do you want this killin' done?"
God said, "Out on Highway 61"
The radio, a martyr’s relic from a bygone era, sounded half as faded as I was.
I reeked of vodka and middy weed. I didn’t care. This lonely stretch of highway belonged to no one as far as I was concerned, and you gambled taking the curves in the dark.
It was your fault if you choose to gamble with me. Least, that’s the way I saw it.
Texas felt so far away.
“Well, Cowboy Dan's a major player in the cowboy scene
He goes to the reservation, drinks and gets mean
And he's gonna start a war
He's gonna start a warrrrrr
And he hops in his pickup
Puts his pedal to the floor
And says, "I got mine
But I want more"
Because Cowboy Dan's a major player in the cowboy scene
He goes to the reservation, drinks and gets mean
He goes to the desert, fires his rifle in the sky
And says, "God, if I have to die, you will have to die"
I hacked up what felt like part of a lung. My hand was stained, the oxidized rust of old blood mixed with a fresh coat of red, a fresco that highlighted a life poorly lived.
Wait.
What happened to Bob Dylan?
Or was it Johnny Cash?
Wasn’t I just listening…
Gaps in time. I prayed I hadn’t taken the ketamine.
That was for later.
If you want proof time is just a strongly worded opinion, just slip into a k-hole.
That was for later.
My eyelids felt heavy.
There were no stars.
Endless pines, only shadowy outlines in the dark, still cover for the night’s starving predators, were all I could make out.
I just guessed at where the road kinked and turned and straightened.
I was playing a game with God, and I wanted to lose.
I wanted us all to lose.
“Dance, Dance to the radio
While the, Devil takes control,
Dance, Dance to the radio,
While the, Devil takes control…”
The warm hug of oblivion, a feeling like endless cookies and Saturday morning cartoons, began slipping its infinite arms around me.
Come and See, and I saw.
It was still the witching hour when I woke with a startled gasp. I could feel the claws of need, withdrawal, dragging up my arms, burrowing into my skin, making the back of my eyeballs vibrate.
Every day the need grew stronger, and every day, I killed off a little bit more of me.
One is too many, and a thousand is never enough.
I was in a ditch.
This wasn’t new or news. I tended to wake up in a lot of ditches. Beats Motel 6. Fewer roaches and you could smoke in every room.
My truck wouldn’t start.
Not even the wheezing gasps of a machine trying to cling to artificial life. Just a click and utter silence.
The battery couldn’t be dead. I checked my watch.
5:55 A.M.
I figured I’d tried to hit the eternal snooze button around 3 A.M. It had only been a few hours. Battery should be fine.
A cursory inspection showed no external damage. No blown tires, no misbegotten wires or missing spark plugs. Hell, it seemed like I’d just slowly cruised into this dark little corner of the universe.
It was as though the truck just gave up the ghost and said, "I’m done." The thirsty horse dropping to the ground in an endless desert, done with the death march.
I bear crawled up the small ravine and onto the highway.
A generous term for a lonely road in whatever the Hell backwater burg America had shit out here.
All I could see were outlines in the dark.
Fitting, I thought.
And then an explosion stole my vision.
Let there be light.
And there was.
And it was good.
Especially good.
Because it was a bar.
A ramshackle of a spot, dive joint meets biker meth hangout, from the looks of it, and it was just powering up.
Shit, if you couldn’t drink on Sunday morning, were we really free? Were we really God’s children at all?
I started ambling toward the light, my eyes adjusting to the deep gloom.
“The Man from Capernaum.”
Hell of a name for a spot in the middle of BFE.
Hell of a name.
Hell.
Hell, I needed a drink.
My watch read 6 a.m. but it was 5 o’clock somewhere, and this place had electricity buzzing it had to pay for and didn’t much strike me as the sort of establishment that probably saw the law as anything more than a nuisance.
I sauntered up to the door, my black boots clicking loudly against the rotten wooden porch.
Into the lion’s den we go.
Unsurprisingly, it was empty as a church on Friday night. Why kill the Son if you can’t have the sin, after all?
But it was unlocked and music was softly crooning from somewhere.
“As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that Good Ol’ Way
And who shall wear the robe and crown
Good Lord, show me the way”
Fantastic. No bartender and proselyting in a shit joint. That’s just what my migraine and itchy skin called for.
I considered hopping the bar and grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, but this struck me as a place where your head might become acquainted with a shotgun right quick and nobody would kick up much fuss.
I was going out, a lamb among wolves, but on my terms. I’d had enough violence. I wanted to feel the void swallow me whole, not feel a hole swallow my head.
Plopping down on an empty stool, I risked lighting up a smoke. Certainly they wouldn’t get bent out of shape over a cowboy killer or two.
And shit, who was there to kick up dirt anyway? A ghost town without the spirits, save the ones just behind the bar and out of reach.
The tantalizing fruit in the garden.
God, I need a cold one, now.
“Till armageddon no shalam, no shalom
Then the Father Hen will call His chickens home
The wise man will bow down before the throne
And at His feet they'll cast their golden crowns
When The Man comes around”
The hairs on my arm stood up.
That wasn’t the gentle croon of some A.M. gospel channel. That was someone singin’ in the bar.
In the furthest stool at the left end of the bar, a wild looking man sat, intermittently taking greedy gulps of amber beer and singing loudly, his other arm flailing frenetically as though conducting an unseen orchestra.
Ah, good, a ninja crackhead. That’s just what I need.
He looked over at me and I leapt from my chair and damn near outta my boots.
Ancient as the hills, this man looked like he’d just come down the mountain from communing with the darkness itself.
God damn.
A wild, grey, patchy beard splayed out in every direction, as though the hair itself was trying to escape the vessel that grew it.
The crown of his head was bald but the rest was shaggy white hair, matted in some places, errantly sticking up in others, as though it couldn’t choose between electrocution and submission.
He wore what looked like a white robe, but it was stained with all manner of mess. Copper, brown, yellow, black. Blood, shit, piss, and Heaven only knows what. A fetid robe of many colors.
Tattered, rudimentary sandals held in dirty feet with long, yellowed toenails.
The man reeked worse than sulfur. Worse than death. It was like the pungent stank of the human stain clung to him with reckless abandon.
He was chubby and withered and maddened.
But none of that held a penny to his eyes.
Orbs of the purest white, ringed with seared, blackened flesh around the edges.
Nothing but endless, empty white that somehow felt like it saw nothing but what we all couldn’t see. Nothing of this world but everything we hide in it. Our lies, the horrors behind the masks, what we do in the dark, this tattered, horrible amalgam we have the audacity to still call “a soul.”
Fuck this.
I went to run but found I had no will to do so.
My boots had become one with the earth, like the leather was finally gonna join the cattle that had to die for me to feel like a man.
A crash of thunder stole my hearing, a tiny whirlwind began lifting and smashing bottles from behind the bar.
The seals of the bottles came open, spraying spirits everywhere.
The bar was alight with white fire and a light blasted through the bar that would embarrass the Sun.
Then all was silent and still.
“Nice hooves,” the man said in a velvety baritone.
I looked down at my black boots and back up at him.
There is probably a drug cocktail somewhere in existence where, if mixed properly and taken with utter scientific precision, probably unlocks the gates to Heaven in the human consciousness.
I think I might have found the one’s that unlocked Hell’s.
The man wore a wide, warm grin. Authentic and inviting, the jovial visage of every TV grandfather. Creature comfort. He no longer looked like a raving maniac.
Far from it.
The man was now young, maybe late 20’s.
Golden, feathered locks elegantly curved just behind his ears.
A black cardigan, dark jeans, and new Grecian sandals graced a well-kept temple, a body of with seemingly perfect porcelain skin.
Sapphire blue eyes, pools of painful beauty, the kind that feels like a knife twisting your gut, looked at me with compassion.
I could smell lilac and some spice that seemed reminiscent of a world long gone by but made me what want to curl up with a blanket and read a good book by the fire wafted my way.
A single, marred tattoo of a small cross ran down the index finger of his left hand.
The man sat down and said, “why don’t you and them hooves join me, Pappy?”
I go by a lot of names to keep myself safe in this shithole world, but I hadn’t gone by my real name since I beat a kid black and blue in elementary school for mocking me for it and my daddy had told me he was proud of me. Put a cigarette out on the back of my neck later that same night after a few too many for causing trouble.
The duality of man or whatever the Hell the academics prattle on about, I guess.
“They’re boots,” I snarled, playing at bravery, bluffing like I did every day of this wasted life, hopin’ it might but him back on his heels.
I didn’t know if I was messing with some damned creature not of this world or was just higher than a kite and seeing nonsense. While the latter seemed far more likely, I wanted to prepare for the former.
“Sure,” he said kindly, “sure.”
I sat down on the tattered stool.
“Where’s the bartender? And how the Hell do you know my name?”
“Calm down, son. You look like you could use a drink of the old blood. Sure beats those poisons you keep sticking in that body we gave ya.”
A wine glass appeared before each of us, filled to the brim. The man, or whatever it was, sipped away, humming some forgotten hymnal.
“I ain’t much of a vino fan. Got any Irish whisky?”
He lifted his glass as though to toast me and said “Sure. And you certainly will need that later. For now, the grapes of wrath, as it were.” A soft chuckle left his lips.
I sipped the wine. No sense bucking the bull when you don’t know how big or angry it really is.
It tasted like nothing I had ever had before. An indescribable, wicked deliciousness.
It warmed me up and filled me with light and hope and covered up all the dark holes that had punched through me by others.
Even plugged the ones I’d punched myself.
“We?”
The man took a small sip. “Sorry?”
“You said ‘the body *we* gave ya. *We*.”
It was only then I noticed he was crying.
There were no sobs, no audible gasps, no tremors or shakes, just slow, steady tears of blood dripping from those perfect blue orbs.
“Name’s Arah. I’m an Angel.”
Arah downed the goblet of wine, flecks of his bloody tears caking the glass’s rim.
“Behold, I send an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared.”
This obvious machination of my drug addled brain chuckled louder this time, a slight slur and anger tinging his words.
“I’m even less for all that religious babble than I am for wine. Though this shit’s pretty damn good, I gotta admit.”
“LIAR!” Arah screamed, shaking the whole bar. His eyes were wide and obsidian and his chest heaved heavily.
“Liar.” This, a quiet whisper.
“You spent your whole life in church.
You soaked up every hopeful word, every promise of redemption and fixing, and the truth of that still rattles around inside you.
You can stick all the needles you want into that arm so you can lie to yourself and take away the pain you were meant to bear, but you can’t lie to me. We see everything, for we are many.”
Arah refreshed his glass with a small flourish of his hand before downing it again, his disposition getting slightly wobblier.
“DRINK!” he screamed, and when the world stopped shaking and those eyes turned blue again, I sure as shit started pounding the fermented fruit.
Ain't the time to be picky.
“You aren’t having a bad trip. I'm having a bad trip.”
The endless tears of blood fell quicker, like a swift red river coursing from a deep blue waterfall.
Small pools of it began forming of the bar. A slight acrid smell was on the air, barely noticeable behind all the wonderful aromas.
I felt warm and real and firm. I felt human again. My glass had been refilled and I downed another.
Okay, so I was getting wasted with an angel. Admittedly a first, even for my winding and warped road, but getting blitzed on Jesus Juice sure beat pissing off some emotionally unhinged cherub motherfucker.
“I can’t find Him. I can never find Him.”
Slight groans left Arah’s lips and he gulped down another glass.
With a minor twitch, the glass flew and smashed against the wall.
A nanosecond, if even, after the sound of shattering, it reappeared anew, full of the deep blood wine, before him, and he slurped it down his gullet.
I was trying to keep pace with him.
Shit I could drink a fifth of whisky and make it home alive but something in this good good had me slippin’. A part of me knew I should be petrified to ask, but the rest of me was too faded to care.
“Find who? What brings you here, cryin’ tears in yer beers?”
Now I was the one slurring.
“Take them.”
I looked down at the bar.
A belt. A syringe full of something brown and beautiful.
All the gear.
And six shots of what I prayed was Jameson.
“But where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.”
Arah was slurring hard now, slowly spinning in his chair, laughing and crying.
“Have a taste. At least there’ still manna.”
I shot the whole thing and downed that beautiful Irish whisky. Warmth and light filled me up and stole me away from this putrid rock.
Somehow, as wrecked as I was, I felt I could see Arah all the clearer, like the Sun pushing out the remnants of a storm. His hands looked withered, and those blue eyes looked heavy and tired.
“I miss Him. God. Father.”
I began to mumble some apocryphal question, but a raised hand silenced me.
“We’re taking communion here, son, an act of contrition, of grief, celebration and loss. I’m not giving about to give you a seminar on the finer points of how you all bungled what we gave you and called it ‘religion.’ Just shut the fuck up and drink.”
We downed a glass of wine in unison, a broken human and clearly a broken angel, performing a ritual at the alter we were left with.
“You wanna know why I’m here drinkin’? I know you do. I can hear it rattling around in that little rat brain of yours, gnawing, gnawing, gnawing.
Well, here’s why. GOD LEFT.
You remember your Bible.
Like a schizophrenic mother when the voices just crept too far in, he drowned all his children in the bathtub. He felt regret.
You apes can’t come to terms with the fact that it isn’t cognitive dissonance to be perfect and make mistakes. Your binaries and absolutes are the pathetic crutches you rest on, the prisons you build for yourselves. You think you live in the grey but you don’t. You are the simple minded mistake of something far greater than you could possibly fathom.
Hell ain't nothin' but a door locked from the inside.
He was right to drown all of you, ya know.
You’re an abortion that didn’t take.
You’re the science experiment gone wrong.
You’re the motherfucking poisonous residue left over when the manufacturing process goes the slightest bit awry.
He TRIED. He gave you EVERYTHING. And you chased him away.
He wanted to put you all down. Wipe the slate clean. Shoot the wolf with the broken leg caught in the trap. Mercy. But He had made those fuckin’ rainbows, and He kept his word.
You all sit and pout and scream and gnaw and gnash and blow each other up. Always the same shit in this horrible flat circle.
"My god is real, your god is fake! "
You never once consider you’re all talking about the same damn thing, and more to the point, you're spend your entire lives debating His existence. What a catastrophic waste to be so far from the mark.
Is He real? Is He a fairy tale?
Is there a big bearded man with a sword in the sky or is it just what some primitive apes told themselves to explain the lights in the night sky, a mechanism of control and purpose in an entropic and meaningless world?”
I felt frozen listening to Arah rant.
Somewhere, between the distant sound of brutal words, I heard that radio kick on.
“The Third Planet is sure that they’re being watched
By an Eye in the Sky that can’t be stopped
And when you get to the Promised Land
You’re gonna shake the Eye’s hand”
“You won’t.”
Arah spoke quietly and sipped and audibly sobbed.
“I…I won’t what?”
“Shake his hand. He’s GONE.
You all fight with words and books and swords and shells and atoms about whether he exists. It’s your relentless, simpleminded addiction to dichotomy. It would be so boring if it wasn’t so sickening.
You think He exists, and if He does, He is here and He loves you and hears your stupid little prayers about football and bone cancer and bank accounts and AIDS.
And if He doesn’t exist, well, it’s just a bunch of conmen working over some fools with a fairy tale.
Any of you shitbirds ever consider He exists and LOATHES you? That he cut the cord to that existential phone line and ain’t nobody on the other side of that line anymore?
You live in an infinite universe that is forever exploding and expanding. He exists outside of even that.
You think you’re special? You’re one tiny experiment among so fucking many, I couldn’t make the smartest mathematician in the history of this planet understand how infinitesimally numerically irrelevant you are.
The question isn’t, is God real or is it all a hoax, a self-delusion?
The salient question, Pappy, is whether He’s here. And He ain’t.
He kept his word and let you all live and fester and replicate and mutate like the virus you are. The fruit that ate itself.
But daddy split. Went out for smokes and He ain’t never coming back. Moved onto a new family. Just like He's done again and again and again. And I'm guessing will keep doing 'till He decides He got it right. Ain’t been here for a long time. Long, long time.”
6 glasses of wine appeared before Arah and he downed them all with lightning speed, spewing blood, sobbing and gasping and drinking.
His hair greyed and whitened and fell to the floor.
His nails began to decay and yellow.
The smell of shit and piss and bile crept up and began to make me nauseous.
“And you know who got really fucked? US. The angels.
God gave us instructions and we followed it. We knew what we had and we didn’t deviate. We did our duty. And He left us behind, too.”
Arah’s clothes began to whiten and dirty.
The enrapturing blue of his eyes began to fade, growing paler and lifeless. A wild, twisted beard and belly began to sprout.
“Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation."
Arah began shrieking.
"Fucking humans.
I AM AN ANGEL OF THE LORD YOUR GOD, AND I AM BOUND FOREVER TO THIS SHITHOLE OF A ROCK, ENDLESSLY SEARCHING THE COSMOS FOR A FATHER I CAN NEVER FIND, TRAPPED IN A PRISON I CAN NEVER LEAVE, FOR A CRIME I DIDN’T COMMIT.
YOU ALL DID THIS.
YOU ALL DID THIS.
YOU DID THIS.”
Arah leapt up and grabbed me by the throat, lifting me on high.
Fire scorched his eyes, leaving empty pale pools singed to a blackened crisp at the edges.
The wild, infested thing I’d seen before held me as though I weighed less than the judgment feather.
He was sobbing.
“I…I just did what I was told.
Do you know what Hell is? There’s no fucking lake of fire or torture rack with goats.
It’s this.
An endless existence having tasted God’s grace and love and then forever being separated from it, eternally searching for that one drug you know you can never find.
'Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss.'
This, this place, is Hell.”
All the opium in the world couldn’t save me from the stark terror of this celestial’s tortured judgment.
I was quaking and pissed myself.
“Now I got ya shakin’ in your boots. Nice hooves.”
He threw me and I slammed against the wall and I felt every ounce of wine and heroin and whisky spill out of my body and onto the floor.
In that moment, I felt the unmitigated suffering of absolute sobriety, and I’ve been sober every moment since.
This wild, unfettered thing inched closer to me.
It was only then I noticed the tattoo on his finger more closely. It was…clearer to me now. Everything was. That little cross on his finger was upside down as it faced me.
“What does your name mean, Arah? What did you do that made God leave all his angels behind?”
Arah opened his mouth and two snakes, one a viper, the other a colorful coral, slid out of his mouth and began encircling his head and neck, never striking, never squeezing, simply coiling infinitely.
“YOU FUCKING APES. I’LL RIP THE SOUL OUT OF EACH OF YOU AND EAT IT FOR LIFE ETERNAL.”
Arah, this manifestation of man’s worst nightmare, leapt at me, blood spewing, snakes dancing, the bar shaking and burning and reeking.
Alas, Babylon, for me.
Inches from me Arah froze, held still by some unseen force, his mouth snarling words that only came out as unintelligible, wet squelches.
A voice from the bar’s door whispered a single word.
“World.
In the first tongue, 'Arah' meant ‘World.’
At the door stood an older black woman with the kindest eyes I’d ever seen.
She wore a bracelet of thorns and a dress made of every flower my mind could conceive.
Golden eyes flecked with amber looked at me lovingly.
She quietly sauntered up to Arah and shook her head wistfully, a disapproving but loving mother wishing her child would just behave.
“You would do well to accept your place here, Arah. The Father may be gone, but this is where you and your lot stay. It was not man’s fall that bound you here.
Tell him what you did...Angel.”
Arah fell suddenly to the barroom floor, all the strength clearly sucked out of him.
“I..I did what I was told. I followed the orders I was given. It was for Him, Uriel.”
Uriel tutted her tongue as though an impudent child had told her a silly, obvious fib.
“You can lie to yourself all you want, Arah, but you cannot lie to me.
You, who whispered endlessly to Herod.
You, who dwelt in Caligula.
You, who served Qin Shi Huang.
You, who sought refuge in Robespierre .
You, who possessed Mengele.
‘And the angels who did not keep their positions of authority but abandoned their proper dwelling—these he has kept in darkness, bound with everlasting chains for judgment on the great Day.”
Uriel helped me to my feet, brushed me off, and lightly put her hand on her cheek. It was the only moment in my life I knew what the word “home” meant.
“And you won’t lie to Man, either.
You remember the deal you begged for, Arah? Let remind you:
'They began to entreat Him, saying, “If You are going to cast us out, send us into the herd of swine.'
You had the gall to call his creation, however staggeringly imperfect, swine.
You got what you asked for, then.
And you will have it for all time.
Get behind me.”
Uriel picked me up as though I were a mere baby and carried me to my truck. She laid me gently in the passenger side and started the engine.
The radio kicked on.
“I’m a rolling stone
All alone and lost
For a life of sin
I have paid the cost
Take my advice
Or you’ll curse the day
You started rollin’ down
That Lost Highway”
As she pulled away, I looked back at The Man from Capernaum one last time.
It was consumed in fire and the squeals of pigs shrieking carried through the cool night air.
“Do not pity him.
‘You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons.’
God may have left this world but let the Demon burn.”

Was kind of wondering what changes Fromsoft will make to Elden Ring bosses in the dlc. Based on reviews, people were saying the bosses were spamming attacks, lots of aoe damage to take into account that the player will use spirit summons. And so if you were to fight a boss solo, delayed attacks, chain combos by bosses would be the regular experience. It's not impossible to beat bosses in Elden Ring solo you can certainly do it, but this is what you would have to contend with.
So will future bosses be design around fighting the bosses solo or around the use of spirit summons, meaning even more unlimited stamina combos? It would be interesting if the bosses are now designed around the player fighting the bosses without any summons like in previous games, but that would mean Fromsoft is aware of the flaw in the base game. Either way I am interested in how the dlc will play, what kind of changes will be made to bosses if there are any?
Your thoughts below?

Hi! If anyone could help me out, I'd be very grateful.
So, two friends and I downloaded the newest Seamless version today (which works with the new ER patch). We're using the most up to date version of the item and enemy randomizer, and using the same seeds.
​
Their games are working just fine, but my game keep crashing at the Chapel of Anticipation door. We all have the same files setup the same way -- we screenshared to be sure. I've tried verifying my Elden Ring files through Steam, but there was no issue. Earlier, I couldn't get past the opening cutscene, but now its the first door.
​
Any ideas? I've had kind of a long day so my brain is fried, let me know if I can provide more information. Thanks!

Road to Revolution

After MJF disappears from the screen, his internet activity becomes more and more cryptic. He often posts about contracts, about Punk being a shell of his old self, nothing but an old man trying to cling to relevancy. When Punk is asked about he simply says he moved on from Max, that, in a way, Max failed him. Punk fully expected to lose to MJF, he went into the match hoping MJF would dethrone him, but when it came to in ring skills, MJF left a lot to desire, and as a result, Punk now has his sights into properly being a champion, being the time for him to start steering the ship into a great future.
On the following episode of Dynamite from said interview, Punk addresses The Firm, going off about how ashamed he is from what went down at Full Gear, he says he was more than ready to lose to Max, even with the clear testament that Punk is the better wrestler now that he is 2-1 over MJF, the undeniable truth is that he’s old and his time is running out BUT having the final stretch of his legacy being tarnished by the involvement of The Firm, he can’t help but feel sorry for Max. It doesn’t matter how despicable and miserable MJF is, the only feeling Punk has for him is pity. He caps the segment off by saying that “the cowards under contract with Stokeley aren’t on the show right now, so I hope next week they’ll be here so I can start correcting some wrongs, with nothing more nothing less than some good ass kicking.”
The following week, Punk is ambushed backstage by The Firm but not without showing some fight, the numbers game eventually being too much for him. Security team floods the area, big W. Morrissey cleans the house and Stokeley calls the attack off. Punk is left laying on the ground like a bag of meat.
On the following Dynamite episode, Punk is arguing with TK about The Firm, he says he wants to take them on, doesn’t matter when or how, he just demands Tony Khan to make it. After some bickering Tony Khan decides. “Next week on Rampage, it will be CM Punk in a GAUNTLET MATCH against The Firm! If you survive through that, great for you, if you don't, whoever pins you gets a title match, I do need to be fair with them too.” And so it’s made official
CM Punk Vs. The Firm Gauntlet

Punk, still feeling the effects of his last match against MJF, looks very worried with this match, on his way to the ring he keeps on checking his foot and arm, which Max targeted throughout their match. The first member of The Firm is Austin Gunn, who jumps the fucking gun, eats a GTS on the first 8 seconds of the match and is instantly eliminated.
Out comes his brother Colten, who also jumps the fucking gun, gets hit with a Piledriver on the middle of the ring and rolled back up into a GTS!!! The Gunns got eliminated in the first 30 seconds of the match! The crowd roars in favor of Punk as Lee Moriarty marches down the ramp.
Lee Moriarty after getting inside the ring doesn’t do the braindead shit of going straight at Punk, instead, he waits for Punk to step up, and once it’s done, Lee chain wrestles the old man to the ground, focusing on grinding the feet of Punk. For the next 7 minutes, it’s a sequence of counters to complicated locks and transitions. Moriarty is able to escape the Anaconda Vice and locks in an arm bar, which Punk breaks with a Buckle Bomb followed up by a Shining Wizard! Even with Moriarty superior speed, Punk’s experience plays a major role, his ring IQ being displayed as he begins to out-maneuver Lee. Eventually Punk is able to hit Moriarty with the Pepsi Twist that he quickly turns into the GTS! Lee Moriarty has been eliminated.
Out comes Ethan Page! From here on it's simple. Page is able to overpower Punk for the next 8 minutes, with slow comebacks from Punk being squashed. This would repeat until a GTS out of nowhere was about to get Ethan Page, but he expertly grabbed Punk’s leg and began to maul it. Punk is able to mount a comeback after being stopped multiple times and he’s finally on the verge of nailing Ethan with a Piledriver when Stokeley climbed on the apron, catching the referee’s attention and we all know where this goes. A distracted referee, Punk gets hit out of nowhere with a Big Boot by W. Morrissey! With the help of the big man to put Punk on All Ego’s shoulders, an Ego’s Edge in the middle of the ring, the ref never saw the attack, 1…2…3! Ethan Page secures himself a title match for Winter is Coming, but the punishment still has only begun.

The Firm starts their pack attack on Punk, ready to nail him with a Championship Belt to the head when suddenly, a hooded figure jumps the barricade, steel chair in hands, runs to the ring, drops Moriarty with a chair shot, neutralizes Ethan Page, takes out The Gunns! But when he goes for a shot at W. Morrissey, a Big Boot to the chair stops the attack. The hooded figure slips something on his hands, rushes to Morrissey AND DROPS HIM WITH A SINGLE PUNCH! The hooded figure reveals himself to be MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN!!!!!! MJF approaches the fallen CM Punk, he motions to help him back up but he grabs the World Title instead and stares at it for a moment while Punk gets back up.
Both men are now in the middle of the ring, a tired, old and hurt CM Punk stares at Max with murderous intent. MJF goes to give the belt back, drops it and when Punk goes to pick it up, at the motion of bending down, MJF NAILS PUNK WITH AN UPPERCUT WITH THE DYNAMITE DIAMOND RING! Max begins to viciously attack Punk, he drags him around ringside, throwing him on barricades, on the ground, everything. Eventually the attack ends when Max PILEDRIVES CM PUNK ON THE PYRO GRATE! PUNK’S LIMP BODY FALLS TO THE GROUND AS RAMPAGE ENDS WITH MJF STANDING TALL OVER THE CHAMPION!
The following episode of Dynamite, MJF opens the show in a similar fashion to when he won the World Title from Mox IRL. Coming out to a thunderous roar and cheers.
He gets a microphone on one hand, on the other, he has a contract! He begins reading the details but he does not specify when it expires, how much he makes and how much backstage pull he has, but he makes sure to say the most important clause of the contract: “As long as this contract is valid, Maxwell Jacob Friend has the right to, with previous warning as to set the card, challenge for ANY title he wants AS LONG AS he haven’t won them before”. At that, Cult of Personality hits and out comes the champion himself! Completely battered and bruised, he has his arm on a sling and he’s limping to the ring. Before Punk hits the ring, Max cuts anything he would do by simply saying “Stop there old man, we don’t want you to get hurt YET! I’ll spare you the breath so you have some when the match actually comes, please do be ready by then, The Devil will show himself to be crowned after his dominant win against Old Man Punk at REVOLUTION! Very poetic considering the whole landscape of AEW will change on that day, obviously for the better, BECAUSE I’M MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN AND I’M BETTER THAN YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!”
Max goes out of the ring to a thunderous reaction while leaving CM Punk to be dragged backstage by the medic team.
From here on out there isn’t much to say, the “less is more” game is played to perfection, with the final Dynamite before Revolution being closed with Punk and Max brawling through the arena(again) prompting TK to declare their match as a NO DQ MATCH! This being the final straw in hopes those two either drown this hatred under liters of blood or they die trying.

AEW Revolution 2023

CM Punk Vs. MJF - AEW World Championship - No Disqualification Match

Take their dog collar match. Now make it more bloody. That’s what you get. In the first 5 minutes Punk gets busted open after being hit with the Dynamite Diamond Ring, an attack he answers after being dragged to the outside by slamming Max’s head into the steel steps multiple times.
This goes crazy, we have backstage fight, they fight on the crowd, there are barbed wires from Hangman and Moxley’s match, there are steel chairs, ladders, a fucking Pepsi Plunge through a table. The brick simply doesn’t come into play because they didn’t find it.
Just like the Danielson match, it stops mid action because both wrestlers are being administered oxygen, all for the sake of the match having a true winner. We get the oxygen tank spot BUT Max adds insult to injury by hitting Punk with a Stone Cold Stunner and proceeding to tie Punk’s damaged leg together with the previously damaged arm using a chain and wrenching both members back, in a weird Fujiwara Armbar where he simply pulls the chain back. Punk is able to almost crawl towards the ropes when MJF drags him back to the middle of the ring, keeps on the punishment and CM PUNK TAPS OUT!!! AFTER 54 MINUTES OF PURE HELL, HE TAPS OUT, THE DEVIL IS YOUR NEW AEW WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!!!!

With this, Punk gets written of TV to recover from his injuries and we get to the same place we are IRL, with Max as a dominant champion that still has a lot to prove and with a shining path ahead of him!
footnote: the swerve in our glory shit got scrapped last minute because I’m an asshole