For the past two weeks I have been experimenting with Amanitas. I have depression and anxiety, and have been exploring it as a medicine for these conditions of mine that I haven’t found relief from yet. Until today, I thought that I was Immune to the effects of these mushrooms. I was so wrong, and have a new respect.
I experimented with Muscaria for the past two weeks. Looking back now, I can see that I was more talkative, was getting a little bit more done, and could laugh more. It was loosening me up. I ordered some Regalis, though, because it seemed as if I couldn’t get beyond the threshold of feeling just a bit tipsy, and this may be an exaggeration, but I didn’t want my microdose to be 10g per day. One day I would take 9g, and another I would take 15g. It seemed ineffective to me. Yesterday My Regalis arrived and today I had quite the experience from it.
This morning I had 4g worth in tea, then two hours later ate a 5g cap with some cheese, then three hours later, since I was experiencing nothing, so I prayed for a safe, effective experience, and ate another 6g cap. I still wasn’t expecting for much to happen, so I planned on going to my mom’s for a late lunch before doing some afternoon jobs. About 2 hours after eating that last mushroom, I was sitting in a chair at my mom’s while reading the intro to Baba Masha’s book. It arrived in the mail as I was leaving home to head over. At the end of the intro, I realized that something new was happening. I got excited and called my wife to tell her that I thought I might finally be feeling something from all of this. After that I went back to the living room, hugged my dog multiple times, and then it turned into a full blown trip.
My wife and mom have been great, and have been supportive with me experimenting with Amanitas. They know that they are legal, and psychoactive, but that I seek something medicinal and therapeutic. My Mom was extra concerned that I might poison myself, or become addicted, but her and my wife have both seen that my depression and anxiety has caused me lots of problems and were onboard with me giving this a try.
When the trip went full blown, I was in my mom’s living room and she was there. I explained to her what all had happened and was happening and she concluded that I took too much to be useful, and was high, but she kept me company and kept talking to me. I was in disbelief of the trip myself and was trying to figure out meanwhile if it was real or not. Then I ended up feeling like I was seeing these snapshot moments of reality, that I was seeing the universe, and that every moment had infinite possibilities and outcomes, and I was along for the ride to see these infinities of the universe flashing before me and evolving into the next moment. I felt like I was seeing existence itself, and that each next moment was all that there was, and that I was one with it. It felt like an eternity. At one point I thought that I was stuck there.
After at least an hour of this, I felt the need to show my wife how much I loved her. I made my mind up that somehow I was going to make it home to be in love with my wife. Love was such a beautiful thought to me, and I wanted to experience it and share it with the person I love most. Then I had the terrible idea that I was somehow going to drive home in this condition. I reasoned that in one of these infinite realities I must make it home rather than crash. I was either going to die or make it there, and logically the only reality that mattered to me was the one where I made it home safe. I gave my mom the biggest bear hug, told her how much I loved her, and headed straight to my vehicle before she could stop me. Somehow, I dodged every obstacle and made it home. Do not drive while tripping. This was a very bad decision, and shows how incapable I was in making good decisions.
The next hour was filled with more eternity feelings, lots of big hugs with my wife, me telling her how much I was in love with her, and me trying to explain the infinity to her that I was experiencing in every moment. I kept saying similar things and kept thinking that I was seeing the future before it happened. She said it was like following around someone with dementia. I guess that I was twitching too.
After that, I started gaining back my consciousness of time. Then I started to feel very apologetic. I started to realize that I was tripping, that I drove home against my mom’s wishes, endangered others on the road, forced my mom and wife to babysit me, and ruined our evening plans of going out. I kept apologizing to my wife that she had to deal with me. I also kept telling her that I loved her. I was so thankful we were married and that It was for better or worse. Since I was conscious to time again, I kept telling her that I was finally back in the real reality. She didn’t understand what I was trying to say, since I was obviously still not my normal self. This all went on for the next hour. She let me have my phone at one point and let me call my mom. I explained to my mom that I was so sorry for driving off, and I was irresponsible, and that the hug and how much I loved her was real.
I’m writing this multiple hours later, before I go to bed, so that I don’t forget. It was a wild, unexpected experience. I have much more respect for Amanitas now, and don’t think I am Immune to their effect anymore. To my surprise, my mom and wife both encourage going forward with the mushrooms at lower doses. They think that it may have had positive effects on me lately, and that it is worth further testing at the microdose level. Both of them were very supportive to me today and I couldn’t have done it without them.
I also thank God that I was kept safe. He is the true infinite holder of eternity. My experience, was just a creation in my mind. I pray that I can find important lessons in this experience. I also plan on figuring out how to not do this again, so that I can have the mental benefits of the mushroom while being sober minded. At least when I wasn’t sober, all I wanted to do was love on and hug everyone that I loved.
God Bless you all

Hey fellas. Here's Part 10 of the Exploits of Irving Reese.
I decided that I would retire my fanfiction.net account so I can focus on posting my stories on AO3 and Reddit.
As per usual, you can also find this story and my other works Here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Irving and Enterprise woke up next to each other. Oklahoma and Malcolm’s wedding was coming soon.
Enterprise volunteered to help Oklahoma with dress shopping. While Irving, Samuel, and Warren all decided they were going to help Malcolm make plans for the wedding.
Enterprise and Oklahoma were busy looking through shop windows. The engagement ring on Oklahoma’s hand was shining in the light, and she still could not get over the fact that she was going to get married.
The two shipgirls stopped at a store that had a beautiful white wedding dress.
“I think it looks perfect on you, Oklahoma.”
“You think?”
They entered the store, and Oklahoma put it on. She smiled as she checked herself out in the mirror.
“You’re right!”
Enterprise smiled.
Meanwhile, Irving, Malcolm, Warren, and Samuel were talking about plans for the wedding with the commander. The news about the wedding had spread like wildfire, as it was the first time a shipgirl from the Eagle Union was getting married.
“So the wedding will be on September 19th, and it will be at the church on the Eagle Union part of the base.”
The Commander pulled out a gift bag.
“I have something for you, Malcolm.”
Malcolm opened it and could not believe his eyes.
Inside was a set of pink and greens. They had the patch of the 29th Infantry Division on the sleeves, along with the two chevrons of a corporal on them.
“Thank you, Commander. The other men will wear suits at the wedding.”
After the meeting was over, Irving went back to Enterprise’s room. He saw Enterprise sleeping on the couch. He laid down next to her and slept.
He knew he would have quite a busy few months ahead of him.
The next few months happened as if they didn’t exist. Irving was getting ready for Malcolm’s bachelor party. They were going to the bar with Malcolm and the men, as they planned the bachelor party months ahead of them.
Soon, Irving was at the bar. He saw where Warren, Samuel, and Malcolm were sitting. Irving joined them.
“Hey, bartender. A round of vodka shots for me and my friends.”
The bartender gave each man a shot of vodka.
Irving raised the glass into the air.
“To Malcolm. May he be the best husband he can be.”
“To Malcolm!” The group shouted in unison. They clinked their glasses together and began the party.
After a while, they could tell that they had maybe a bit too much to drink.
Irving was seeing double, and he could barely stand. Realizing that none of them could drive. Irving called anyone one of his phone contacts that wanted to answer.
Fritz picked up on the other line. Irving's raised his eyebrows.
“Hello? Irving? Why are you calling me?”
Irving hiccupped on the other end.
“Ah, Fritz, Buddy. Look, the fellas and I need a lift. Do you feel like being the drunk wrangler? We’re at the bar in the Eagle Union part of the base.”
Fritz sighed and pinched his fingers on his nose. He knew that his bachelor party ended the same way. Bismarck’s husband Heinz hade to pick him up.
He sighed.
“Alright, I’m coming to pick you up.”
Irving hung up his phone.
“Ay, Fellas. Lettin you guys know, Fritz is comin’ to pick us up.”
Before they knew it, Fritz was there to pick them up.
Malcolm rode in the front seat, as he was the least intoxicated out of the men. "I don't want Oklahoma to have to deal with me being hungover."
Warren, Samuel, and Irving all got themselves inside the backseat.
Fritz had to put the seatbelt on for the men, like he had to do for his children when they were younger.
As Fritz drove the men home, Samuel had to vomit.
Unfortunately for Irving and Warren, they were in the splash zone when he did it. Irving and Malcolm could feel the warm fluid on their shoes.
Fritz was at a red light when it happened, and as soon as he smelled vomit, he knew that one of them was the culprit. His eyes could barely contain his fury.
“Alright, who was the one who threw up?”
Samuel raised his hand, and Fritz sighed and shook his head.
“Sorry, Fritz.” Samuel was busy trying not to fall asleep.
“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Tirpitz. It’s her car.”
Samuel could not help but blush out of embarrassment and drunkenness. Soon, the car reached the Eagle Union dorms.
While all of this was happening, Enterprise was at Oklahoma’s bachelorette party. They decided they would do some drinking and hang out at the mall.
The group was getting quite intoxicated. However, Enterprise noticed that Oklahoma did not even have a single drink.
“Why are you not drinking?”
Oklahoma blushed. She had never seen Enterprise drunk before. Her face was as red as a tomato.
“I’m the one that is getting married tomorrow, and I don’t want to be hungover for my wedding.” Oklahoma bit her lip. She was trying to keep herself from telling the real reason.
“Plus, I volunteered as the designated driver for my bachelorette party, so there's that too.”
Enterprise, Arizona, Nevada, and New Jersey all laughed as they realized that all of them were too intoxicated to drive.
Oklahoma ushered the group into her car, and she drove back to the Eagle Union dorms.
Enterprise made her way back to her room and vomited into her toilet. Her hangover had already started.
Fritz ushered the men out of the car. Fritz turned to look at Irving.
“Irving, you own me one.”
Irving knew that Fritz and Tirpitz were going to be in a very foul mood come morning. But that was not here and now. Irving and the men had to focus on making it to the dorms and sleeping off the booze.
After all, he had a massive day tomorrow.
Irving walked up to Enterprise’s room. He opened the door and confronted by a somewhat angry and also slightly hungover Enterprise.
“Where were you? Do you know how late it is!”
"Sorry Enty. I lost track of-"
Irving gagged as he ran to the toilet and puked. Enterprise watched him as he sounded like a dying donkey. She calmed down. She knew she did the same thing and that the best thing for a hangover was to rest and rehydrate.
Enterprise went into the kitchen and grabbed some water bottles. She knew that the more water Irving drank, the less hungover he would feel in the morning. She found Irving lying on the floor of the bathroom, barely conscious.
“Come on, drink this.” Putting the bottle to his lips as if she was feeding an infant.
Irving’s eyes went wide as he felt the water enter his throat. He drank it, and his eyes closed slowly.
Enterprise smirked and chuckled. Irving reminded her of an infant drinking away at a bottle. Irving looked at Enterprise.
“More.”
He reached for the other water bottle. Enterprise propped Irving against the wall of the bathroom and handed him the other water bottle.
Irving downed the water bottle quickly. He felt insanely thirsty, as if he was in the desert for two days straight.
Enterprise giggled. She never seen Irving drink so much water in such a short amount of time.
“Irving, you keep drinking like that. You’re going to piss the bed!”
Irving smiled. He knew Enterprise was no longer mad at him.
“You care to join me? I have a feeling you're gonna be hungover as well if you don’t drink like I am.”
Enterprise nodded and went to the kitchen to grab some water bottles, she returned to the bathroom and sat next to Irving.
“So, how was the party?”
Enterprise was cracking open the water bottle in her hands.
Irving laughed. “I mean, other than us almost getting kicked out of the bar, and Samuel puking in Fritz’s car, I say it went very well.”
Enterprise laughed. “It sounds like you guys had fun.”
She gulped her water bottle. It oddly impressed Irving at the feat he had witnessed.
Enterprise soon drank the second water bottle she had brought with her. After a few minutes of sitting on the bathroom floor, she got up. She reached for Irving to pick him up.
She carried Irving to bed.
“How was the bachelorette party?”
“It was fun, but Oklahoma didn’t drink a thing. Oklahoma told me she didn’t want to be hungover for her wedding.”
Irving yawned, exhausted from the night he had.
“But isn’t that the fun part at a wedding? Getting drunker than a skunk?”
Soon, Irving fell asleep. Irving awoke in the middle of the night to vomit.
He was hungover.
However, he had a wedding to attend in the morning.
Irving and Enterprise woke up next to each other. They got into the shower together and got dressed.
Irving was wearing a suit, and Enterprise was wearing a dress. Today was the day that Malcolm and Oklahoma were getting married.
They walked outside to the site of the leaves on the trees turning colors. September and Autumn had hit the base.
Irving and Enterprise made their way to the church.
Irving made his way to where Malcolm, Warren, and Samuel were.
They could tell that Malcolm was nervous. He was checking himself in the mirror, making sure that everything looked correct and that he was ready for his big day. Irving looked at his friend and gave him a small smile.
“Mal, you’re gonna do alright.”
Malcolm took a deep breath and looked at the men. Irving’s look reassured him.
Elsewhere in the church, Oklahoma was vomiting into a toilet. Nevada was on the other side of the door, listening to her sister.
“Okie? Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
Oklahoma was going to claim that it was nerves. She, however, knew the truth. Her sister could keep a secret for at least twenty-four hours.
Oklahoma opened the door to see her sister in the doorway.
She whispered the truth into Nevada’s ear. Her eyes went wide.
"Please don't tell anyone else. Especially Malcolm. I don't know how he will react."
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Now let’s get you into your wedding dress, m’kay?”
Malcolm was standing at the altar, Irving standing next to him, as he had made Irving his best man at his wedding.
“Do you think I look good enough?”
“Relax. You’re going to do great.”
The church’s organ began playing “Here comes the bride” and Malcolm saw his bride walking down the aisle.
She was beautiful in her wedding dress. Nevada was already at the altar, waiting for her sister.
The priest began the service.
Soon, the couple said their vows.
“I, Malcolm Hall, take Oklahoma to be my wife, and promise to take care of her in sickness and health, till death do we part.”
He was trying to keep himself from crying tears of joy.
Oklahoma blushed as she held Malcolm’s hands.
“I, Oklahoma, take Malcolm Hall to be my husband and promise to take care of him in sickness and health, till death do we part.”
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Malcolm leaned over and kissed Oklahoma on the lips. The crowd cheered.
After some time, the couple had their first dance, and they were in heaven in each other’s embrace.
Soon it was nighttime. Irving and Enterprise left to go back home. They were in their room and in their underwear.
In the middle of the night, Irving got a call from Malcolm.
“Irving! You would believe it! Oklahoma told me that she's pregnant! I’m gonna be a dad!”
He could barely contain his excitement about his impending fatherhood.
Irving’s eyes went wide. He couldn’t believe that Malcolm and Oklahoma already had a jumpstart on starting their family.
Of course, he had reason to suspect that something was up. He noticed along with Enterprise. Oklahoma refused to drink anything alcoholic during the reception.
All he knew was Malcolm was excited he was going to be a father.
And Irving was happy for him.

For the past few months my mental health has been so, so low… I have had a lot more anxiety than usual and I feel way more depressed. I have definitely been through these phases before, but it’s really hitting me how lonely I am. I just want to die or disappear somehow.
When I think about it, I feel like everyone would be better off. But then I think about how it would effect my boyfriend and mom and feel guilty. I just can’t do that to them, but I feel myself shelling up from everyone and just.. detaching.
I used to have so many friends and it was wonderful even though I’ve always had to deal with some challenges - friends were always there. I know it’s normal to lose friends as you get older (I’m 28) but fuck. It’s an awful feeling when you realize you’re excluded from plans and people treat you like crap.
So shitty when you pitch ideas to hangout and you’re either ignored or they decline, only to find out they were hanging with your other mutual friends.. idk.. it makes me feel like I’m annoying to have around. Like nobody likes me anymore.
I don’t know what changed. If anything, I think I have really grown up these last few years especially after taking care of my terminally ill father until his death. It made me really cherish things in life and I don’t think I’m being cherished by anyone anymore except my boyfriend. I’m very thankful for him, but he also doesn’t understand my feelings at all. It makes me feel so much lonelier sometimes.
I hope this doesn’t sound cry baby-ish. I’m just tired of feeling lonely, worthless, and unwanted.

this new year has been rough all around, it’s almost felt non stop. this last month especially has been a really rough month though. from my first ever car accident and possibly needing a new car i can’t afford to dental issues getting worse and knowing i can’t fix it yet to them testing a nodule they found in my moms lung for lung cancer to possibly being in trouble at my second job because a coworker is an irresponsible idiot and everything else going on in between all that. i’m just exhausted and could use some encouragement. some nice stories. some positivity.

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Illustrator: TAKOLEGS Voice actor: Kakihara Tetsuya
A maverick and Meiji Restoration patriot who gallantly entered the scene in Chōshū at the end of the Edo period.
He was a disciple of Shōka Sonjuku, an academy presided over by Yoshida Shōin. Together with Kusaka Genzui, Yoshida Toshimaro and Irie Kuichi, he was known as one of the Four Heavenly Kings of Shōka Sonjuku, showing great promise for his future.
At first glance, he appears to be a calm, intellectual gentle-looking man, but in actuality, he has a wild temperament and is a troublemaker who is willing to do anything as long as he finds it amusing. At any rate, he is a free-spirited one-man-show of a president who acts independently of other people.

Profile 1 (Bond 1)

Height/Weight: 177 cm / 63 kg Source: Historical fact Region: Japan Alignment: Chaotic Good Gender: Male
"I, Takasugi Shinsaku, shall lead you all to victory!"

Profile 2 (Bond 2)

He was born into the Takasugi clan, a prestigious family that had served the Mōri clan for generations since the Sengoku era.
At first he attended Meirinkan, a feudal domain school, but he found their practices of allowing only samurai to attend, stiff formal lessons, among numerous other niceties, so utterly archaic that he enrolled into Shōka Sonjuku, an academy presided over by Yoshida Shōin, a previous top student at Meirinkan.
Unlike Meirinkan, Takasugi found Shōka Sonjuku, or rather Shōin's classes, stupidly interesting, and he quickly rose to prominence as Shōin's disciple. He also went to Edo to study abroad, but his teacher, Yoshida Shōin, was captured and executed due to the Ansei Purge. This is when Takasugi began to openly speak of overthrowing the Shogunate.
Following these events, Takasugi joined a delegation under the Shogunate and studied in Shanghai. Witnessing the threat posed by the Western powers, he grew even more concerned about the future of Japan and overthrowing the Shogunate.
After returning to Japan, he joined the Sonnō Jōi movement and mingled with samurai from various clans in Edo and Kyoto. But even amongst these samurai, Takasugi was an exceptionally unconventional man who committed a numerous amount of radical acts such as setting the British legation on fire.
The Chōshū domain tried to keep Takasugi obedient by offering him a position, but he immediately turned it down. He continued to act nonsensically, ranting that he would fool around for a decade and shave his head. He also stated he would go somewhere far away, but he ended up playing his shamisen and composing songs in his hometown.
Chōshū bombarded the Americans, French and Dutch in Shimonoseki, and promptly got pummeled by them. Frightened by the outcome, Chōshū entrusted Takasugi with defending Shimonoseki. As a result, Takasugi established the "Kiheitai", a modernized militia not bound by social status. However, following some disputes, he was soon dismissed as the leader of the Kiheitai. "Damn clansmen, always complaining over the littlest things."
Anyhow, this and that happened, and Chōshū became the enemy of the imperial government after the Hamaguri Rebellion, continuing to be bombarded by the combined naval forces of four nations in Shimonoseki. "It's over now!" they thought, but for some unfathomable reason the Chōshū clan once again asked Takasugi, who was in prison at the time, to negotiate a peace agreement. However, Takasugi was only too eager to sabotage this peace conference, and so he developed an Ultra C plan to force the Shogunate to pay the reparations instead. At the meeting, Takasugi put on a show by suddenly reciting the Kojiki and even pretending not to hear about the concession of Hikoshima.
While all of this was going on, the First Chōshū expedition was approaching, and a faction of the Chōshū clan loyal to the Shogunate emerged to try to accept the Shogunate's demands. Takasugi was so enraged by this that he commanded a unit with a miniscule number of men at Kōzanji. As reckless as his decision was to command a unit, Takasugi and his men in a state of heightened frenzy, marched into Hagi and wiped out the faction loyal to the Shogunate. Hence the Chōshū were now unified in its policy to overthrow the Shogunate. The Second Chōshū expedition by the Shogunate was commenced in response to this act. Everyone believed that Chōshū was now done for, but Chōshū, perhaps having had a taste of success, decided to appoint Takasugi as their naval commander. Takasugi then took command of the navy and won a great victory against the Shogunate fleet. This battle's victory undermined the authority of the Shogunate, which in turn contributed to the Meiji Restoration.
However, Takasugi, who had been afflicted by illness, died of pulmonary tuberculosis without ever seeing imperial rule fully restored.
"Ah, I was just getting to the best part, too."

Profile 3 (Bond 3)

Takasugi may have a lithe frame, but he has fully mastered Yagyuu Shinkage-ryū. Surprised?
Well, that alone seemed too run-of-the-mill for the likes of him, so he developed a mysterious and strange sword technique that combines a specially made Molotov cocktail and Shinkage-ryū. It's fun to swing around.
During normal combat, he wields his homemade Molotov cocktails and shamisen blades, and on top of that he even summons and manipulates a miniature prototype model called Prototype Arahabaki, demonstrating his reckless fighting style. If anything, my style's more like a Rider than an Archer. But I'm not the kind of guy to fit a stereotype, just something else to appreciate about me.
This combat style was derived from events in the Restoration City Saitama singularity, but due to the nature of his peculiar Noble Phantasm and dramatic fate, it became engraved into Takasugi's Spirit Origin.

Profile 4 (Clear CBC 2023 and Bond 4)

Unprecedented Child Prodigy: A An unfinished masterpiece. A phrase coined by a specific someone regarding Takasugi, who raced across the end of the Edo period like a glittering star.
Armament Restoration: B Innovate. Modifying the armaments of one's own army into the latest equipment of that era. A skill derived from the Kiheitai, who overwhelmed the Shogunate forces with the latest equipment and daring tactics.
My Japanese Spirit Will Live Forever: A A line from his teacher Yoshida Shōin's death poem. It makes it possible for Takasugi to rise up against adverse circumstances to escape death in the nick of time. This is an unprecedented skill composition, possessing Guts despite his Weak Constitution.
Weak Constitution: － Weak Constitution was originally a demerit skill, but it has transformed into the Japanese Spirit skill mentioned above after accepting the words and spirit of his teacher.
What's up with this "Weak Constitution" skill bullying its user, save this kind of crap for the Shinsengumi's Manslayer-or-whatever-the-name-was.

Profile 5 (Clear CBC 2023 and Bond 5)

Super Restoration - Kiheitai Rank: B+ Type: Anti-Army Noble Phantasm Range: 1-30 Maximum targets: 300
Chōkyū Ishin - Kiheitai. A Noble Phantasm sublimated from an anecdote about the army created by Takasugi. This is an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm that strengthens its allies by endowing them with the necessary skills and equipment according to the war’s situation. It is a difficult Noble Phantasm to use, as it requires managing the finer details such as determining the enemy’s weaknesses, selecting the necessary equipment, and adjusting one’s skills. Essentially, it is a supporting Noble Phantasm that enhances its allies.
In its fully unleashed version, in other words the ace up his sleeve, it is possible for Takasugi to summon the strongest army he can imagine and utilize it temporarily.
Due to the effects of the Noble Phantasm described above, it is possible to summon or select a large number of soldiers with Servant-class combat power with the best equipment, skills and abilities needed to suit the battlefield, as well as operate and strengthen said soldiers as a unit. However, once unleashed, it is a self-destructive Noble Phantasm that rapidly wears down Takasugi’s Spirit Origin and places a tremendous burden on him, so its operational time is short and it becomes difficult to activate again.
Incidentally, the equipment and weapons to be enhanced will become the latest armaments available in that era, so its effects may vary. For example, the Stone Age will summon stone axes, and the early modern era will summon bombers, thus making this a romantic Noble Phantasm that you never know will be strong or weak.

Profile 6 (Clear CBC 2023 and Bond 5)

─── Live interestingly in this uninteresting world.
I mean, it’s not like I was planning to go that far for the sake of my nation or for the sake of other people. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never been able to stand boring things. I have zero motivation to do anything other than what catches my interest, and my body won’t even move an inch. Personally, if something doesn’t interest me, that thing becomes evil in itself. That’s right, if it’s fun, then it’s just.
I don’t know whether this truth exists in this world or not, but it’s worth acknowledging it as the sole truth, that’s for certain. Stuff that’s boring or uninteresting aren’t usually considered good things anyways.
Simple, huh? Oh, I’m not trying to get you to agree with me or anything like that. To begin with, I don’t care what people say about me, or whether they think I’m insane. If everything in this world is boring, then it’s this world that is wrong. All I have to do is destroy everything that’s boring and make it interesting.
─── Live interestingly in this uninteresting world.
I mean, ultimately as long as humans live a humorous life, that’s more than enough. It’s not about what you’ve accomplished or not, it’s about how you live your life.
That’s right, live a humorous life. Live.

Bond CE

After Waking Up Late In The Morning
"Well, I suppose it's about time I get up."
Long ago, back when the youth worried about the state of their nation and rose up in times of turmoil to save it, there was a man who succumbed to death without having achieved his dream.
Well, that in itself wasn't unusual in particular. Back then, everyone was in a hurry to live, while scrambling to be the first to die. Although he would have liked to go a bit more on a rampage first.
The man awakens once again, not knowing whether his wish has been fulfilled or if fate is playing tricks on him. And now together with the youth of the new era, he faces not only a crisis in Japan, but a plight for humanity’s very survival.
Hahahahaha! Excellent, if I were to go on a business trip, of course it would be for a desperate situation of this magnitude with no way out whatsoever. The more powerful the enemy and the more difficult the obstacles, the more interesting it becomes. You think so too, right? Indeed, this obstinate man will stand up again and again. Guided by a strange destiny, leading a strange army into a strange battle.
His eyes gleamed just like that time back when he knocked on a certain door that day.
“This far in, what is there to say? The late cherry blossoms flutter away, carried by the winds of my hometown. At last, I follow my teacher’s shadow in Noyamagoku.”
“Well, I’ll be off then, Sensei.”

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
I’ve known my now ex BPSO since April 2016. Things were good, looking back I can see the moments where there was mania and depression, but it was just life. He was diagnosed with depression over 20 years ago and took antidepressants off and on.
In December 2021 he lost his mom. They were very close, he’s an only child. 3 months later, to the day, he lost his father. They had a tenuous and fractured relationship and there were a lot of unsaid words and unsettled feelings. Feelings of abandonment, etc. He did not deal with grief at all. He was drinking significantly and the grief manifested in anger. The most insignificant tiny things would have these huge angry reactions.
But I stood by him, waiting for the grief to show up. Not knowing what to do, so I was there. If he needed time alone, he got it. If he called me at 2am, I answered. I listened, I freely gave hugs, wiped away tears, tried to make him smile, and gave him hope for the future.
In September 2022 we left for a week long vacation that was supposed to be heaven on earth. The first two days were, and then heaven turned into hell. The next 4 days, he was drunk. He was either mean and angry or ignored me. And then on day 6 I walked into the hotel room and found him passed out on the balcony, I honestly thought he was dead. He was drunk on another level, I spent the next 12 hours checking to make sure he was breathing. When he sobered up, he admitted that he thought he had handled his parents deaths, but he hadn’t. And the place we were on vacation, years ago he had apparently promised his mom that he would bring her. All of that was too much to process. He apologized and we had the last couple of days and then headed home.
The next week was great, things were back to normal, taking about the future, making plans, etc. Over the next month, there were moments of depression, but then his uncle died in October 2022. He was profoundly affected. He stepped in and started making arrangements for his uncle, much to my horror. He was in no emotional state to do it, but his family was oblivious. He’s a very dominant alpha male personality, that’s the mask he wore in front of them. I watched him at the funeral, half expecting him to have a nervous breakdown. But he held it together, until all the family stuff was over and he broke down in front of me.
We got to Thanksgiving, the first one without his parents. A couple of days before, he started planning a birthday trip for me. He started suggesting summer plans for us with our respective kids. A lot of reminiscing about the past, all the good times we’ve had, laughing and just enjoying each other. I had gotten an irregular mammogram results before Thanksgiving and had a follow up ultrasound the week after and he had said he would go with me, without me even asking.
And then everything just broke. Thanksgiving brought on a manic episode, the likes of which I’ve never seen. Suddenly he “never loved” me. I was “overwhelming and suffocating”, I didn’t “understand” him. He walked away, said vile and mean things, didn’t go to my appointment with me, never even asked about the results. He ghosted me, surrounded himself with new random strangers, they were “his people”. He spent upwards of $25K in three months on sporadic expensive trips, alcohol, etc. All the while making me the enemy, after years of saying how amazing I was.
On NYE he sent me an email with a series of rewritten narratives of our life, calling me names, saying I’m a narcissist, asking why I thought he was miserable without me because he doesn’t even think of me (yet he was emailing me on NYE at 10:30 pm).
Then a month and a half later, he remembers my birthday and sends me a Happy Birthday message.
Earlier this month, another email of how he never loved me, etc etc.
And then two days ago, he randomly unblocked me on Facebook. I only noticed because he showed up in a Facebook memory.
How do feelings of years and years just turn off? Please help me understand. If I’ve misspoken, please forgive me. I’m really just trying to understand.
Also, he is unmedicated and in his early 50’s.
Thank you in advance. Your insight is so appreciated.

Every Friday night, me and my kids go out to eat. I've been having this issue lately with my 11yo son Caleb to get moving on everything. As we were getting ready, I told him we're leaving in 10 minutes so put clothes on and get ready. He was on his iPad. I reminded that I will leave without him since he held everyone up last time.
10 minutes passed and me and my other two sons were in the car. I waited 5 more and took off. 10 minutes later Caleb texted me asking me where everyone was. I said at the restaurant. He called crying and asking me to come back to pick him. I said no. Make cereal for dinner and I'll see him when we get back. He kept on calling and texting and I ignored it.
When we came home he was upset. I told him if he doesn't like being left behind then he needs to move it. I brought leftover pizza so it's not like he went to bed hungry.

FINAL DRAFT: To post to Subreddits.
Slenderman has always been an internet rumor of sorts. You know, the sort of thing that you only see in videogames, videos of creepypastas, let’s play, et cetera, et cetera. This was how I believed Slenderman, just a sort of internet rumor of sorts. That was, until I changed my belief of Slenderman after I had an experience of sorts with him.
I remember I played Slenderman a lot as a kid and was only scared by it at first because I do not get scared easily, but one day I discovered a new story of sorts that changed my belief of Slenderman as only a game. An internet advertisement when I was watching let’s plays told me that Slenderman was watching me, and this scared me a little bit but again it did not scare me a lot because it is very difficult to scare me. Just for reference I did not even get scared when a bee or even a wasp landed on my bare skin.
I clicked on the advertisement because of curiosity, and it directed or redirected my browser to a website of sorts that displayed nothing more than a black screen with hyperrealistic blood and Slenderman in the middle surrounded by hyperrealistic blood and guts and disgusting bits. Of course this was very disturbing but because I was not scared I clicked on Slenderman because I believed it could have been a game of sorts or a “ARG” which I saw a video about a little bit ago.
When I clicked my mouse on Slenderman I heard suddenly a very loud noise of sorts that was very high pitched and was also extremely disturbing. Even I was taken a-back and had to take off my earbuds because it scared me so badly, which does not happen often even when wasps land on me. When I looked back at Slenderman on the screen there was a smaller Slenderman next to the normal Slenderman also covered in hyperrealistic blood, and he told me that he is “Slenderman Jr.”. Of course this was some sort of joke or if it was not it was very scary.
At this same time the website that this advertisement led me to was closed all by itself. In fact at this time I was not even putting my hands anywhere near my iPad because I was too busy covering my ears because of the noise of sorts that had just played through my earbuds. After the website closed I saw on my iPad screen “1 out of 8 websites discovered.” I muttered under my breath this is no joke because this could not be a game or “ARG” or anything other than a Slenderman curse, or a curse from Slenderman Jr. because Slenderman only works with pages, Slenderman Jr. works with websites of sorts, a different type of “pages” of sorts.
I immediately began to look for different advertisements but there were 7 to be found and I was also a little bit scared that Slenderman Jr. would find me on the websites which would be a jump-scare of sorts which I saw in many of the let’s play videos I watched. I tried calling the police officers because at this time I was so scared but instead of going to voice-mail instead I think it was Slenderman Jr. who picked up because he told me you can not hide until you have discovered all 8 of the websites. Ok, what?
As I browsed YouTube for more advertisements the YouTube 666 glitch occurred and my YouTube began to be covered in hyperrealistic blood with weird noises of sorts that disturbed me and created a desultory feeling inside of me. Even though there was blood everywhere and it was even possible that at the same time I was being cursed by the Devil or Slenderman Jr. with his powers of sorts I still was happy because these brought me more advertisements. Before I knew it I even found the second website from an advertisement that showed Slenderman Jr. holding me as a hyperrealistic body with hyperrealistic blood, too.
Very quickly I found many of the rest of the websites but because Slenderman Jr. was a trickster of sorts like a fox or another fairy tale character he put fake websites to deceive me these websites also were deadly because Slenderman Jr. made eye contact with me even though he has no eyes he could still see me through the screen somehow. Or maybe he was not seeing me through the screen?
After I found the sixth website I was called by the police officer. I am saved I thought until I picked it up and realized how boned I really am. Slenderman Jr. said he killed the police officer and I was next if I dared to collect the pages and see his story. I dropped the phone really hard and began to look for the last websites. I also heard a noise inside of my house which I believed was my parents or older brother because what else would it be?
It was not my parents or older brother because when I found the 7th page a tall man of sorts teleported to me in my bedroom through the door. He was probably heading for the source of the pages which was my iPad. At that time I was about to scream Slenderman but I noticed it was Slenderman Jr. because he was covered in realistic blood and also was shorter than I remember Slenderman from the games and advertisements I saw.
When I saw Slenderman Jr. I remembered always look away because if you look at Slenderman or now Slenderman Jr. it could be the last thing you ever see so I had to shut my eyes tight and leave the room to go outside to collect the final website. It felt like I was now in the let’s play videos I watched because at the same time I walked around with my iPad outside trying to find the last website and not look at Slenderman Jr. or I will sort of die.
Just as I discovered the final advertisement I was about to direct myself to the website but I heard a large scream of sorts that sounded like my mom. I was about to end this but thought I must save my mom. I ran back to the house when I realized blood was everywhere and no where were my parents only Slenderman Jr. in the corner of my eye he was about to destroy me. Uh oh. I ran to my parents bed room and they were there and safe too so what was the scream was it Slenderman Jr. being a trickster of sorts?
This was answered when I clicked on the final website and 8/8 websites discovered. However Slenderman Jr. only got more mad when he said 8 out of 8 websites discovered… how many websites have you completed? He grew a smile so big that it finally made me so scared I could only scream as he demolished me forever. Slenderman Jr., son of slenderman.

FINAL DRAFT: To post to Subreddits.
Slenderman has always been an internet rumor of sorts. You know, the sort of thing that you only see in videogames, videos of creepypastas, let’s play, et cetera, et cetera. This was how I believed Slenderman, just a sort of internet rumor of sorts. That was, until I changed my belief of Slenderman after I had an experience of sorts with him.
I remember I played Slenderman a lot as a kid and was only scared by it at first because I do not get scared easily, but one day I discovered a new story of sorts that changed my belief of Slenderman as only a game. An internet advertisement when I was watching let’s plays told me that Slenderman was watching me, and this scared me a little bit but again it did not scare me a lot because it is very difficult to scare me. Just for reference I did not even get scared when a bee or even a wasp landed on my bare skin.
I clicked on the advertisement because of curiosity, and it directed or redirected my browser to a website of sorts that displayed nothing more than a black screen with hyperrealistic blood and Slenderman in the middle surrounded by hyperrealistic blood and guts and disgusting bits. Of course this was very disturbing but because I was not scared I clicked on Slenderman because I believed it could have been a game of sorts or a “ARG” which I saw a video about a little bit ago.
When I clicked my mouse on Slenderman I heard suddenly a very loud noise of sorts that was very high pitched and was also extremely disturbing. Even I was taken a-back and had to take off my earbuds because it scared me so badly, which does not happen often even when wasps land on me. When I looked back at Slenderman on the screen there was a smaller Slenderman next to the normal Slenderman also covered in hyperrealistic blood, and he told me that he is “Slenderman Jr.”. Of course this was some sort of joke or if it was not it was very scary.
At this same time the website that this advertisement led me to was closed all by itself. In fact at this time I was not even putting my hands anywhere near my iPad because I was too busy covering my ears because of the noise of sorts that had just played through my earbuds. After the website closed I saw on my iPad screen “1 out of 8 websites discovered.” I muttered under my breath this is no joke because this could not be a game or “ARG” or anything other than a Slenderman curse, or a curse from Slenderman Jr. because Slenderman only works with pages, Slenderman Jr. works with websites of sorts, a different type of “pages” of sorts.
I immediately began to look for different advertisements but there were 7 to be found and I was also a little bit scared that Slenderman Jr. would find me on the websites which would be a jump-scare of sorts which I saw in many of the let’s play videos I watched. I tried calling the police officers because at this time I was so scared but instead of going to voice-mail instead I think it was Slenderman Jr. who picked up because he told me you can not hide until you have discovered all 8 of the websites. Ok, what?
As I browsed YouTube for more advertisements the YouTube 666 glitch occurred and my YouTube began to be covered in hyperrealistic blood with weird noises of sorts that disturbed me and created a desultory feeling inside of me. Even though there was blood everywhere and it was even possible that at the same time I was being cursed by the Devil or Slenderman Jr. with his powers of sorts I still was happy because these brought me more advertisements. Before I knew it I even found the second website from an advertisement that showed Slenderman Jr. holding me as a hyperrealistic body with hyperrealistic blood, too.
Very quickly I found many of the rest of the websites but because Slenderman Jr. was a trickster of sorts like a fox or another fairy tale character he put fake websites to deceive me these websites also were deadly because Slenderman Jr. made eye contact with me even though he has no eyes he could still see me through the screen somehow. Or maybe he was not seeing me through the screen?
After I found the sixth website I was called by the police officer. I am saved I thought until I picked it up and realized how boned I really am. Slenderman Jr. said he killed the police officer and I was next if I dared to collect the pages and see his story. I dropped the phone really hard and began to look for the last websites. I also heard a noise inside of my house which I believed was my parents or older brother because what else would it be?
It was not my parents or older brother because when I found the 7th page a tall man of sorts teleported to me in my bedroom through the door. He was probably heading for the source of the pages which was my iPad. At that time I was about to scream Slenderman but I noticed it was Slenderman Jr. because he was covered in realistic blood and also was shorter than I remember Slenderman from the games and advertisements I saw.
When I saw Slenderman Jr. I remembered always look away because if you look at Slenderman or now Slenderman Jr. it could be the last thing you ever see so I had to shut my eyes tight and leave the room to go outside to collect the final website. It felt like I was now in the let’s play videos I watched because at the same time I walked around with my iPad outside trying to find the last website and not look at Slenderman Jr. or I will sort of die.
Just as I discovered the final advertisement I was about to direct myself to the website but I heard a large scream of sorts that sounded like my mom. I was about to end this but thought I must save my mom. I ran back to the house when I realized blood was everywhere and no where were my parents only Slenderman Jr. in the corner of my eye he was about to destroy me. Uh oh. I ran to my parents bed room and they were there and safe too so what was the scream was it Slenderman Jr. being a trickster of sorts?
This was answered when I clicked on the final website and 8/8 websites discovered. However Slenderman Jr. only got more mad when he said 8 out of 8 websites discovered… how many websites have you completed? He grew a smile so big that it finally made me so scared I could only scream as he demolished me forever. Slenderman Jr., son of slenderman.

FINAL DRAFT: To post to Subreddits.
Slenderman has always been an internet rumor of sorts. You know, the sort of thing that you only see in videogames, videos of creepypastas, let’s play, et cetera, et cetera. This was how I believed Slenderman, just a sort of internet rumor of sorts. That was, until I changed my belief of Slenderman after I had an experience of sorts with him.
I remember I played Slenderman a lot as a kid and was only scared by it at first because I do not get scared easily, but one day I discovered a new story of sorts that changed my belief of Slenderman as only a game. An internet advertisement when I was watching let’s plays told me that Slenderman was watching me, and this scared me a little bit but again it did not scare me a lot because it is very difficult to scare me. Just for reference I did not even get scared when a bee or even a wasp landed on my bare skin.
I clicked on the advertisement because of curiosity, and it directed or redirected my browser to a website of sorts that displayed nothing more than a black screen with hyperrealistic blood and Slenderman in the middle surrounded by hyperrealistic blood and guts and disgusting bits. Of course this was very disturbing but because I was not scared I clicked on Slenderman because I believed it could have been a game of sorts or a “ARG” which I saw a video about a little bit ago.
When I clicked my mouse on Slenderman I heard suddenly a very loud noise of sorts that was very high pitched and was also extremely disturbing. Even I was taken a-back and had to take off my earbuds because it scared me so badly, which does not happen often even when wasps land on me. When I looked back at Slenderman on the screen there was a smaller Slenderman next to the normal Slenderman also covered in hyperrealistic blood, and he told me that he is “Slenderman Jr.”. Of course this was some sort of joke or if it was not it was very scary.
At this same time the website that this advertisement led me to was closed all by itself. In fact at this time I was not even putting my hands anywhere near my iPad because I was too busy covering my ears because of the noise of sorts that had just played through my earbuds. After the website closed I saw on my iPad screen “1 out of 8 websites discovered.” I muttered under my breath this is no joke because this could not be a game or “ARG” or anything other than a Slenderman curse, or a curse from Slenderman Jr. because Slenderman only works with pages, Slenderman Jr. works with websites of sorts, a different type of “pages” of sorts.
I immediately began to look for different advertisements but there were 7 to be found and I was also a little bit scared that Slenderman Jr. would find me on the websites which would be a jump-scare of sorts which I saw in many of the let’s play videos I watched. I tried calling the police officers because at this time I was so scared but instead of going to voice-mail instead I think it was Slenderman Jr. who picked up because he told me you can not hide until you have discovered all 8 of the websites. Ok, what?
As I browsed YouTube for more advertisements the YouTube 666 glitch occurred and my YouTube began to be covered in hyperrealistic blood with weird noises of sorts that disturbed me and created a desultory feeling inside of me. Even though there was blood everywhere and it was even possible that at the same time I was being cursed by the Devil or Slenderman Jr. with his powers of sorts I still was happy because these brought me more advertisements. Before I knew it I even found the second website from an advertisement that showed Slenderman Jr. holding me as a hyperrealistic body with hyperrealistic blood, too.
Very quickly I found many of the rest of the websites but because Slenderman Jr. was a trickster of sorts like a fox or another fairy tale character he put fake websites to deceive me these websites also were deadly because Slenderman Jr. made eye contact with me even though he has no eyes he could still see me through the screen somehow. Or maybe he was not seeing me through the screen?
After I found the sixth website I was called by the police officer. I am saved I thought until I picked it up and realized how boned I really am. Slenderman Jr. said he killed the police officer and I was next if I dared to collect the pages and see his story. I dropped the phone really hard and began to look for the last websites. I also heard a noise inside of my house which I believed was my parents or older brother because what else would it be?
It was not my parents or older brother because when I found the 7th page a tall man of sorts teleported to me in my bedroom through the door. He was probably heading for the source of the pages which was my iPad. At that time I was about to scream Slenderman but I noticed it was Slenderman Jr. because he was covered in realistic blood and also was shorter than I remember Slenderman from the games and advertisements I saw.
When I saw Slenderman Jr. I remembered always look away because if you look at Slenderman or now Slenderman Jr. it could be the last thing you ever see so I had to shut my eyes tight and leave the room to go outside to collect the final website. It felt like I was now in the let’s play videos I watched because at the same time I walked around with my iPad outside trying to find the last website and not look at Slenderman Jr. or I will sort of die.
Just as I discovered the final advertisement I was about to direct myself to the website but I heard a large scream of sorts that sounded like my mom. I was about to end this but thought I must save my mom. I ran back to the house when I realized blood was everywhere and no where were my parents only Slenderman Jr. in the corner of my eye he was about to destroy me. Uh oh. I ran to my parents bed room and they were there and safe too so what was the scream was it Slenderman Jr. being a trickster of sorts?
This was answered when I clicked on the final website and 8/8 websites discovered. However Slenderman Jr. only got more mad when he said 8 out of 8 websites discovered… how many websites have you completed? He grew a smile so big that it finally made me so scared I could only scream as he demolished me forever. Slenderman Jr., son of slenderman.

FINAL DRAFT: To post to Subreddits.
Slenderman has always been an internet rumor of sorts. You know, the sort of thing that you only see in videogames, videos of creepypastas, let’s play, et cetera, et cetera. This was how I believed Slenderman, just a sort of internet rumor of sorts. That was, until I changed my belief of Slenderman after I had an experience of sorts with him.
I remember I played Slenderman a lot as a kid and was only scared by it at first because I do not get scared easily, but one day I discovered a new story of sorts that changed my belief of Slenderman as only a game. An internet advertisement when I was watching let’s plays told me that Slenderman was watching me, and this scared me a little bit but again it did not scare me a lot because it is very difficult to scare me. Just for reference I did not even get scared when a bee or even a wasp landed on my bare skin.
I clicked on the advertisement because of curiosity, and it directed or redirected my browser to a website of sorts that displayed nothing more than a black screen with hyperrealistic blood and Slenderman in the middle surrounded by hyperrealistic blood and guts and disgusting bits. Of course this was very disturbing but because I was not scared I clicked on Slenderman because I believed it could have been a game of sorts or a “ARG” which I saw a video about a little bit ago.
When I clicked my mouse on Slenderman I heard suddenly a very loud noise of sorts that was very high pitched and was also extremely disturbing. Even I was taken a-back and had to take off my earbuds because it scared me so badly, which does not happen often even when wasps land on me. When I looked back at Slenderman on the screen there was a smaller Slenderman next to the normal Slenderman also covered in hyperrealistic blood, and he told me that he is “Slenderman Jr.”. Of course this was some sort of joke or if it was not it was very scary.
At this same time the website that this advertisement led me to was closed all by itself. In fact at this time I was not even putting my hands anywhere near my iPad because I was too busy covering my ears because of the noise of sorts that had just played through my earbuds. After the website closed I saw on my iPad screen “1 out of 8 websites discovered.” I muttered under my breath this is no joke because this could not be a game or “ARG” or anything other than a Slenderman curse, or a curse from Slenderman Jr. because Slenderman only works with pages, Slenderman Jr. works with websites of sorts, a different type of “pages” of sorts.
I immediately began to look for different advertisements but there were 7 to be found and I was also a little bit scared that Slenderman Jr. would find me on the websites which would be a jump-scare of sorts which I saw in many of the let’s play videos I watched. I tried calling the police officers because at this time I was so scared but instead of going to voice-mail instead I think it was Slenderman Jr. who picked up because he told me you can not hide until you have discovered all 8 of the websites. Ok, what?
As I browsed YouTube for more advertisements the YouTube 666 glitch occurred and my YouTube began to be covered in hyperrealistic blood with weird noises of sorts that disturbed me and created a desultory feeling inside of me. Even though there was blood everywhere and it was even possible that at the same time I was being cursed by the Devil or Slenderman Jr. with his powers of sorts I still was happy because these brought me more advertisements. Before I knew it I even found the second website from an advertisement that showed Slenderman Jr. holding me as a hyperrealistic body with hyperrealistic blood, too.
Very quickly I found many of the rest of the websites but because Slenderman Jr. was a trickster of sorts like a fox or another fairy tale character he put fake websites to deceive me these websites also were deadly because Slenderman Jr. made eye contact with me even though he has no eyes he could still see me through the screen somehow. Or maybe he was not seeing me through the screen?
After I found the sixth website I was called by the police officer. I am saved I thought until I picked it up and realized how boned I really am. Slenderman Jr. said he killed the police officer and I was next if I dared to collect the pages and see his story. I dropped the phone really hard and began to look for the last websites. I also heard a noise inside of my house which I believed was my parents or older brother because what else would it be?
It was not my parents or older brother because when I found the 7th page a tall man of sorts teleported to me in my bedroom through the door. He was probably heading for the source of the pages which was my iPad. At that time I was about to scream Slenderman but I noticed it was Slenderman Jr. because he was covered in realistic blood and also was shorter than I remember Slenderman from the games and advertisements I saw.
When I saw Slenderman Jr. I remembered always look away because if you look at Slenderman or now Slenderman Jr. it could be the last thing you ever see so I had to shut my eyes tight and leave the room to go outside to collect the final website. It felt like I was now in the let’s play videos I watched because at the same time I walked around with my iPad outside trying to find the last website and not look at Slenderman Jr. or I will sort of die.
Just as I discovered the final advertisement I was about to direct myself to the website but I heard a large scream of sorts that sounded like my mom. I was about to end this but thought I must save my mom. I ran back to the house when I realized blood was everywhere and no where were my parents only Slenderman Jr. in the corner of my eye he was about to destroy me. Uh oh. I ran to my parents bed room and they were there and safe too so what was the scream was it Slenderman Jr. being a trickster of sorts?
This was answered when I clicked on the final website and 8/8 websites discovered. However Slenderman Jr. only got more mad when he said 8 out of 8 websites discovered… how many websites have you completed? He grew a smile so big that it finally made me so scared I could only scream as he demolished me forever. Slenderman Jr., son of slenderman.

I (22m) just deleted TikTok five days ago, and they have been the most depressing, bland and lifeless days in a long, long time.
I recently found myself on TikTok for almost 4 hours every weekday, and close to 10 hours each on the weekends. It was what I did first thing in the morning, the moment I got off work and the lullaby that put me to sleep. It was bad. It got to the point where I would pause a 10 minute YouTube video for a “TikTok break”.
About a week ago I decided I finally had had enough. If this continued, I couldn’t see my life going anywhere. I would work, TikTok and sleep my life away. I debated heavily about trying to just cut back or set a timer on my phone, but knowing my previous history, it was cold turkey or nothing. I deleted TikTok and prepared for the happiness to flood back into my life.
Only, it didn’t happen. I had heard all these testimonials about how deleting TikTok was the best thing someone did, or how people found joy after uninstalling. I felt nothing. Literally, I have felt nothing the last five days.
And I don’t know why. Everything in my life is going better. Every night that I would just be scrolling TikTok, I spent with friends or family. I finally started working on learning coding again. I’ve planned events for the whole next week, something I never would’ve done. I’ve been more productive than ever.
Yet I feel more depressed and nihilistic than ever. Almost suicidal. I keep reaching for my phone, only to remember there’s nothing there for me. Life feels gray and empty. I’m bored out of my mind, all the time. It’s to the point where it literally gives me a headache.
I’m not reinstalling it, but I need assurance I’ll make it out of this slump. I’m glad I got rid of it. It was a cancer, but the life without it is so bland, I wish every day I had it back.

I have been having this issue for the last few years and everything that I have tried to fix it does not work. I have followed countless YouTube videos and tutorials but nothing seems to work. The only solution that I know that seems to work is to reset my wifi router for 10 minutes every 8 or 12 hours and that usually resolves the problem. It only happens on my PC but all of my other computer related devices that I have tried does not seem to work. So far I have tried:
Reset TCP/IP
Cearing Network cache
Update netowrk adapter drivers
Disable anti virus
Disable fast start up
Run the issue through troubleshoot
Disable Microsoft kernel
Disable IPV 6
I even moved my computer from upstairs using a wifi dongle to downstairs to connect it to an Ethernet port and that still did not resolve the issue. The only one that works is resetting the wifi modem and that only corrects the problem for 8 hours or so. I am out of options on what to do with resolving the issue. I tried to change the DCHP settings but they were greyed out when I went to look. I also recently activated my windows 11 product key so I am not so sure if that has any issues to resolve it. What other solutions could I try?

Almost a year back my dad had as stroke. Since then, he has recovered a lot, but he is still not back to hi original capabilities.
Ever since the stroke I have been more or less depressed. I even quit my previous stable job, because I was not able to focus on work. I was not even able to be productive or do my work. I have been meditating on and off and it did help me(I also lost a lot of weight).
Then for a few months I was jobless. During this period I was extremely depressed. Even suicidal. But somehow got a job in a startup run by my friend.
I am scared of multiple things. Not always but sometimes. Being laid off. Not being productive enough. I don't why, I procrastinate a lot. My therapist says I probably have mild ADHD.
I am scared of again getting health emergencies, for . myself or family.
I am scared of fianances. When my dad was there he used to take care of his business and we always had enough/more than enough. Now, I can't take care of his business, because I have to do my job. I graduated from one of India's best engineering institute, so I took up a software engineer job.
In college I was good at coding because it was a curiou new thing. However, in the job it feels very task based and I don't feel like working. I don't know if am lazy or lethargic.
These days I sleep a lot and procrastinate much more. I am scared of myself and my lethargy. I am literally working for ny first year roomate. All my friends have gotten ahead in life, this guy is literally the CEO of a company. I have other friends also, who slogged at college, but after college started getting disciplined and all. My brother too is doing better than me.
I on the other hand is just struggling with basic work, being very lazy and lethargic and anxious, not doing my work.
The field of software is also very fast changing, if I don't keep learning I fail.
And there's a Recession going on with layoffs and all in other companies. I don't know how long I will last in this job. Being jobless was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Because I was a studious person, my identity was heavily linked to my career. Having none for 3 months depressed the shit out of me.
I am 24 year old male. I had a girlfriend with whom I had a long distance relationship, but she also broke up. I have never had sex either.
Now am also responsible for my mom and dad along with my life. The world feels very heavy and difficult.

TL;DR: The DM throws random insane stuff that makes no sense at us until we switch him out.
I've been playing in a D&D group for my college class. The class is only 24 people and 6 of us are in the game. I hadn't played in a few years (I was supposed to play in college but ran into some time overlaps and it just didn't happen.) I created our discord and started to organize everything. I made a spreadsheet to find the best time for us to all get together. We didn't have a DM and one of us volunteered. In fact, it's the problem player in this story. I have now since taken over as DM by vote.
To start this guy was someone who gave me a lot of bad vibes from the start. I shoved those vibes down because I had barely known him at the time. Sitting down at our first game we had a small group.
I was playing a Paladin loyal to the god Shakara The Silent (This will be relevant later.) The god himself refused to talk to us mere mortals and my church had the belief that we just were not worthy. Shakara had fought a great demon a thousand years ago and had not been heard from since. Now in truth, Shakara had actually lost that battle and had been locked in chains for a millennium but the church had yet to discover that.
I had to make sure my character was a fresh take from what I was used to. So my character became the best boy out there. His goal in life was to help everyone. He was a missionary carrying 100 pamphlets to hand out. Someone building a house on their travel? Hey, it's a few hours for us but it makes this guy's whole day. In a fight? We can talk them out of it, trust me. He was meant to be naive as hell and a challenge for the party. I made him tanky so I could still be helpful but I couldn't kill anyone.
Now let's say I did kill something by accident... He would go into a deep depression and not be able to function. The hope was that eventually in the game I would be able to use that as some character development.
Foreshadowing.
The DM decided to start before the party would meet. I found that really interesting. K, our group's Rogue (The only other veteran at the table) was in a prison convoy for a crime they hadn't committed. Interesting, I'm sure we'll meet in an interesting way, perhaps I have to break them out of their wrongful imprisonment and-
I got teleported in front of the convoy.
I don't mean the DM just had me wonder in front of the convoy, I mean I found a teleportation door and just happened to show up there.
Now my missionary is then promptly accused of a crime. Sure, okay sounds good, what is it?
I was accused of murdering the king. Later in this same session, we would meet the king. The math is not checking out on this one.
My character pulls out his pamphlets to try and prove that I had just started my mission and it wouldn't be possible. Nope. I was arrested and taken to jail.
This was frustrating, but okay, sure, plot train choo-choo.
From here we came across the 3rd member of our group who has since quit the game for unrelated reasons. The 3 of us were soft-locked by the DM at this point. Our weapons are gone, our armor striped and our items confiscated. There were no cracks in the wall or rust on the bars. This should have been the moment I realized the DM had no idea what they were doing, but that comes later.
I try sparking a conversation with the guard. I hand him my last pamphlet which he then tears up and hands back. The DM then describes it as something that has been written on the interior. What could it contain? All that was written inside was "Escape."
The fuck what now?
We've been asking questions trying to get for 4 minutes and he can't understand we have nothing that we can use to do that. So I ask the guard "And how are we supposed to do that?"
"With this."
And he hands us a club.
"Thanks for holding out on us."
I was IRL kind of annoyed. But whatever, let's break out. I strike the wall with all my force.
AND I KILLED A CHILD SOLDIER ON THE OTHER SIDE. NO DAMAGE DICE. NO ROLL TO HIT.
I BLEW UP HIS HEAD.
Now my paladin starts to freak the hell out. Collecting the bits and pieces to save the kid. When he obviously can't save the kid he starts to carry around the corpse to at least give it a proper burial. The DM at this time is laughing at my character's misfortune. No one else is.
Now, that kid would later be fed to crocodiles by a fellow party member but that's beside the point.
Before we can open the door the king (That I had apparently murdered) bursts through the door with 20 of his best men and tells us that we are going to kill the dragon terrorizing the land. Alright, sure, plot train Choo-Choo hop let's kill the dragon.
He introduces us to our "home base" for the game with a flying sled just like Old Saint Nick's.
Now, this is where the first session ended. At the time I viewed it as a rough start but overall alright.
The second session is the real turn of the tide.
We have our first mission, we hop into our flying sled and as we're flying we enter into my new favorite dimension.
THE MIRROR DIMENSION Music sting.
Yeah, we just slide right in, no saving throws, nothing.
Now it's also around this time now that we're in THE MIRROR DIMENSION Music sting that we find an under-compartment. Now our Rogue decides to slip down there to see what's below. Skulls and body parts. But there was a magic scroll. The Rogue reads it and sees a vision of the future. Where my head is separate from my body, and the 3rd player is sitting on a throne. Always great to hear that my character is going to die. Then the Rogue returns through... The other player's eye...
We were stunned. This didn't even make sense to us, and I'm pretty sure the DM didn't either. Soon after our sled is going to crash. No roll, again. Just going to happen. At this point I am so disconnected I just say "Wait until the last second and jump." I am the only one who pulls it off, I jump out of the sled and the rest end up crashing into a castle.
This is when things just stopped making any sense. Now, what can I do? Mr. The law is the law for a reason. I knock. Inside the castle is god. Just straight up god. God is just chilling inside of THE MIRROR DIMENSION Music sting. And god tells me to leave. I get a little upset because this CLEARLY isn't my god, so I start telling him off a little. "Hey, my friends are in there and I need them!" what does god do?
He strips my paladin powers.
For those who don't understand, this is the literal worst thing that can happen to a paladin. And this is the second session. My Paladin doesn't stop, I start demanding my friends. God then rolls to tell me they don't think I'm their friend and he succeeded.
"No. No, they- You're lying they... OH GOD! Oh god no..."
My character apparently cries for 8 hours. Sure, why not. But the DM is laughing again, and no one else is.
Eventually, I break out the other players, and my character, with their life ruined, decides to start a church here in THE MIRROR DIMENSION Music sting.
Now this session wasn't just bad, it was terrible. The only way we got through it was by making fun of the DM's terrible story. I made the joke that THE MIRROR DIMENSION Music sting was reversed in every regard. Evil became good, left was right, and cats and dogs got along. Now the DM every time someone would make that joke would state "NO! That's not how the mirror dimension works!"
"If you're a good god, then the god on the other side of the mirror dimension must be evil! You need to fight him!"
"That's not how the mirror dimension works!"
"Gravity must be reversed here in the mirror dimension!"
"THAT'S NOT HOW THE MIRROR DIMENSION WORKS!"
All I can say is everything is the way it is inside of THE MIRROR DIMENSION Music sting.
​
Edit: I forgot to mention this: The DM explicitly told me that he wanted to break my character after the second session. I'm not that paranoid.

I finally realized BC could be causing me more damage than benefits after 8 years!!! So, today is my third day off it and physically I feel the best I’ve ever felt in 8 years.
Call me naive but I never associated the migraines with BC bc my mom gets migraines. Since migraines have a genetic predisposition and they commonly start in women in their 20s, this is what I assumed was happening to me. I went to many eye doctors bc the pain would be sometimes behind my eyes and many PCPs. They all said it’s either migraines or eye strain (I wear eyeglasses). I took 3 different migraine medications without much improvement. I purchased close to 100 pairs of eyeglasses in the last 8 years thinking that was the issue. I did eye therapy, too. Nothing worked.
Before BC, I wasn’t overweight. I ate normally. I would eat breakfast, lunch and a small dinner. After BC, I gained a noticeable amount of weight. It doesn’t help that I’m very short, so my extra pounds show very easily (even 5 lbs looks like 10-15 lbs on me). I was always so hungry every few hours. I would get headaches from hunger and BC. I honestly didn’t think that BC was the issue bc I was told they don’t cause that drastic weight changes. I was packing on a lot of weight (20 lbs at least). I just chalked it up to getting older and my metabolism slowing down.
I feel like my sleep has been much better. I’m more alert during the day, not just dragging myself. I don’t wake up and immediately get a headache or have a stuffy head (if that makes sense). I feel like my body is physically lighter. I feel a dramatic difference already.
I’m also not binge eating every few hours anymore. Im not as hungry as I was with the BC. I’ve been eating similarly as I was from before I started the BC. Granted it’s only been 3 days but I’ve noticed this huge change in just 3 days!!!
Of course all this doesn’t come without its issues.
Downsides for me: Today I was a raging bitch. Everything and everyone was irritating me. I’m still a little irritated. I was going through bouts of anger, irritation, agitation, anxiety and sadness over things I shouldn’t even be that upset about. This was a major issue today. And I started spotting today… 😕
I’ll keep y’all posted!!!

I have almost no friends because my mom sheltered me then me developing bad anxiety about small things. Went to a public school this year for my junior year high school and last week met a person who wanted to be my friend and talk I wanted to talk to him but got too nervous I had a very bad panic attack and told him I was not ready to be his friend. But there's a part of me who wants to stop this isolation and hang out with him or talk. How could I stop being so nervous about making new friends ?

Age 34
Sex F
Height 5'6"
Weight 150
Race caucasian
Duration of complaint 2weeks
Location generalized anxiety
Any existing relevant medical issues- anxiety disorder
Current medications - daily citirizine
I (34F, 5'6", 150lb, daily cetirizine) have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder but am currently unmedicated (have been on citalopram in the past). I have a prescription for Xanax if needed, but I avoid taking it. I haven't taken it for 2 years. Every March my physical symptoms of anxiety (disorientation, chest tightness, rapid heart rate, insomnia, choking feeling, heated from the inside) worsen. I'm not anxious about any situation or thoughts in particular so therapy strategies such as "floating" the thought or Cognitive Behavior Therapy don't seem relevant. I've had a stress test, echocardiogram, and heart ultra sound 6 months ago and they came back normal. Is it okay to simply cope and get through the symptoms, or can the symptoms themselves be dangerous to my health? Do I need to schedule a follow up with my doctor about anxiety attacks that last for 30-45 minutes even if I don't want to be on meds or can I just accept them as part of chronic anxiety?

A little backstory. My mom's family all live out west. We live in central Canada. We have always been considered outsiders in the family because we live so far away. I have them on FB, bu I was really only in touch with 1 cousin and aunt. The cousin was not in a good place, so I made sure to keep in touch with him. He told me he was basically disowned, and having gone through depression myself, I refused to give up on him and checked in constantly.
Last February, my cousin sent a text asking what I was up to. I said I was at work, and he said, "I'm sorry." Thought that was odd as he messaged all hours of the day, but whatever.
The next day, I got a call that he hanged himself.
While I know I'm not to blame, there were some things that cause my aunt to blame me, as he told me things I withheld from her. It is still something I struggle with.
A month later, another aunt reached out. My cousin, her nephew's death, rattled her and made her want to reconnect and visit. She and my Uncle came out a few months later, and we had a fantastic visit... so much so that my family booked tickets in the summer to visit them for a week.
Today, I got a text message from her. My uncle has been diagnosed with a 3.5 ich tumour in his lung. They don't know much more, but various reasons makes us believe that it is cancerous.
I am absolutely devastated. I've been the outsider in the family for so long, and the one branch who has made an effort to reconnect and get to know us, and now my uncle may be very ill.
I know there is not much I can do, being 2000 kms away. I am just heartbroken and hope that I can see him one more time.

All Games Below are Steam Keys unless noted by it and are gotten from places Like, Humble and Fanatical in and out of Bundles.
I am Mainly looking for games I do not own, ones at least Playable on the Steam Deck are ones I will more likely trade for. I will also take tf2key offers but please no low balls.
I will only Trade for Games I do not own, I do not want keys for Games I own since I would have to trade those for other games. An since there is no way to check if a Key is Valid without activating it they are worthless to me.
Have
---------------------------------------------------
March 2023 Choice Leftovers

• Hero's Hour
• Jurassic World Evolution 2 ^{(I will keep this game if I do not get any good offers})
• Demon Turf ^{(I will keep this game if I do not get any good offers})
• Golden Light
• Rogue Lords ^{(I will keep this game if I do not get any good offers})

Türkiye-Syria Earthquake Relief Bundle Leftovers
I may of missed some the games from the bundle I will be going through the bundle list again and will add ones I missed Some that I do not own I may keep so I will update that info too. The 3 bigger games I already used the keys for since that's the main reason I bought the bundle.

• Xcom 2
• PAYDAY 2
• Ticket to Ride
• Strange Brigade
• Stick Fight
• Farming Simulator 17
• System Shock Enhanced Edition
• System Shock 2 (may keep)
• Pilgrims
• Flynn: Son of Crimson (May Keep)
• Worms Rumble
• Mount & Blade: Warband
• Armello
• Backbone
• 911 Operator
• 112 Operator
• Calico
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Zombie Driver HD
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Monaco
• Death Squared
• Lust from Beyond - M Edition
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Remnants of Naezith
• Planet TD
• Firegirl
• XEL
• Little Orpheus
• Detached: Non-VR Edition
• Agent in Depth
• Lighthouse Keeper
• Hyper Gunsport
• Meow Express
• Arcade Spirits
• Non-Stop Raiders
• The Inner World
• The Amazing American Circus
• Soulblight
• Stacking
• Hack 'n' Slash
• MirrorMoon EP
• Cosmic Express
• Cris Tales
• Orbital Racer
• Symmetry
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Alchemist's Castle
• Soul Searching
• Doughlings Arcade
• Doughlings Invasion
• Quadrata
• Rym 9000
• stikir
• Cats and the Other Lives
• Soulflow
• Izmir: An Independence Simulator
• Guns & Fishes
• Pill Baby
• Project Chemistry
• Pixross
• Frick, Inc.
• Sunlight

New Games to the List

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition
• Darkwood

Humble Choice, January 2023 Leftovers ^{(If I don't get good offers on these I will keep them})

• Encased: A Sci-Fi Post-Apocalyptic RPG
• Conan Chop Chop
• The Serpent Rogue

Older Games
Humble Choice, August 2022 Leftovers

• Emily is Away <3

Humble Choice, May 2022 Leftovers

• Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (origin)
• Surviving the Aftermath
• If Found...
• Genesis Noir
• Morkredd

Others

• Starpoint Gemini Warlords Link
• Neon Abyss Link
• Bridge Constructor: The Walking Dead link
• Project Nimbus: Complete Edition link May Keep
• Crown Trick link May Keep

Stand with Ukraine Bundle Leftovers, I may have missed a few or listed ones I did not mean to, I will update the List when I go through the bundle more.

• 112 Operator link
• 911 Operator link
• Amnesia: Rebirth link
• Book of Demons link
• Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons link
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018 link
• Crying Suns link
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC link
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition link
• Drawful 2 link
• Draw Slasher link
• Endless Space 2 link
• Fury Unleashed link
• Popup Dungeon link
• Ryse: Son of Rome link
• This War of Mine link
• PGA Tour 2k21 Link
• Ring of Pain link
• Expeditions: Viking link
• Rustler (Grand Theft Horse) link
• Radio Commander link
• Kingdom Two Crowns link
• West of Dead link
• Going Under link
• Yoku's Island Express link
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack link
• WARSAW link
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition link
• Moon Hunters link
• RPG Maker VX link
• Slinger VR link
• Telefrag VR link
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine link
• Wizard of Legend Link
• Pixplode link
• Pawnbarian link
• Hexologic link
• Post Void link
• Roarr! The Adventures of Rampage Rex link
• We Are Alright link

Other Games

• 911 Operator Link
• 12 is Better Than 6 Link
• A Case of Distrust Link
• AI War: Fleet Command Link
• Age of Wonders III Link
• American Fugitive Link
• Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy Link
• Ancestors Legacy Link
• Calico Link
• Contagion Link
• Curse: The Eye of Isis link
• Duke Nukem Forever Link
• Endless Space 2 Digital Deluxe Edition Link
• Eastside Hockey Manager Link
• Europa Universalis IV Link
• Evoland Legendary Edition link
• Fluffy Horde Link
• Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition x2 Link
• Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition Link
• Galaxy Grey Goo Definitive Edition link
• Gift of Parthax Link
• GRIP: Combat Racing Link
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron Link
• Haimrik Link
• Hero of the Kingdom Link
• Hero of the Kingdom 2 Link
• Last Word x2 link
• Love Letter Link
• Milky Way Prince - The Vampire Star Link
• Millennium: A New Hope Link
• Monster Slayers Link
• Mysterium: A Psychic Clue Game Link
• Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy Link
• Oniken Link
• Papo & Yo Link
• PAYDAY 2 Link
• Project Winter Link
• Realpolitiks link
• Rebel Galaxy Link
• Regular Human Basketball Link
• Remnants of Isolation Link
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2 Link
• Shelter 2 Link
• Sinking Island Link
• Skautfold: Shrouded in Sanity Link (I may keep)
• Skautfold: Usurper Link (I may keep)
• Skautfold: Moonless Knight Link (I may keep)
• Skautfold: Into the Fray Link (I may keep)
• SKYHILL Link
• SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION Link
• Space Run Link
• Surviving Mars Link
• Sword Legacy Omen Link
• Take On Helicopters Link
• Telltale Texas Hold'em Link
• Terraforming Mars Link
• The Corporate Machine Link
• The Political Machine 2016 Link No Longer on Steam
• The Princess' Heart Link
• The Ship: Remasted Link
• The Walking Dead: Season 1 Link
• Ticket to Ride Link
• Titan Quest Anniversary Edition Link
• Yoku's Island Express Link
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL Link
• Zeno Clash 2 Link

DLCs
--------------------------------

• Surviving Mars: Deluxe Edition Upgrade Pack Link
• Fall Guys - Popstar Pack DLC Link
• Fall Guys: Collectors Pack DLC Link

Software
-------------------------

• AppGameKit Classic Link
• Axis Game Factory's AGFPRO v3 Link
• Axis Game Factory's + Zombie FPS + Zombie Survival Pack DLC Link
• Fences 3 Link
• GameGuru x2 Link
• RPG Maker XP Link

Software DLCs
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• AppGameKit - Giant Asset Pack 1 Link
• AppGameKit - Giant Asset Pack 2 Link
• AGFPRO v3 Premium Link
• GameGuru - Death Valley Pack x2 Link
• GameGuru Mega Pack 1 Link
• GameGuru Mega Pack 2 Link
• GameGuru - Fantasy Pack Link
• GameGuru - Buildings Pack Link
• RPG Maker VX Ace - High Fantasy - The Deep Link
• RPG Maker VX Ace - Tyler Warren RTP Redesign 1 Link

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Wanted
Below are just a few of the games I am looking for, there are a lot more, so don't just think these are all I am looking for. If you have something else to trade, make me an offer, I will look through what you got and let you know.

• Farcry Games
• AMID EVIL
• Tunguska: The Visitation
• THE GAME OF LIFE 2
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• From Space
• PlateUp!
• Dreamscaper
• Praey for the Gods
• Syberia: The World Before
• Streets of Rage 4
• Garfield Lasagna Party
• Any other Offers

DLCs

• PC Building Simulator Fractal Design Workshop
• PC Building Simulator - Razer Workshop
• PC Building Simulator - Overclocked Edition Content
• Stellaris: Toxoids Species Pack
• Stellaris: Overlord
• I will also take tf2 keys for any game I have listed above. Make me an Offer and I will look at it.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/rvbetl/cbanders_igs_rep_page/