Garbage dump him tee

Came into work with a pretty bad muscle spasm in my back. Could barely walk and forget about bending over for anything.
The place where I work essentially forces me to work 4 jobs at once in the mornings- bartending, serving, hosting, bussing, and take-out. It gets busy in the mornings and I have to handle roughly $1000 in sales on my own (usually more), and that’s not including take-out and UbeDoordash. Every now and then they give me server support, but they’re often too cheap to do that.
First table I get is a table of teenagers. There were 7 of them so it’s an autograt. They were super impatient and kept demanding stupid little things the whole time and acting like they were my only table, tried rushing everything I did. I go to get the bill and as I’m putting in the autogratuity, one of the owners (let’s call him Asshole) tells me that the autogratuity (that we have been doing for years) is too high, and demands I put it lower.
Next table that comes in while I’m already dealing with this is just as bad- 3 top of two women and a boy. The kid just keeps screaming over anything I’m saying demanding things, and the mother is doing jack about it. Literally- “can I start you off with sparkling wa—“ “I WANT A PIZZA” “okay, which pizza?” “The meatlovers” “okay one meatlovers pizza, can I start you all off with water?” “NO CARAMELIZED ONIONS” “okay…no caramelized onions…any water for the table?” The mom- “yes, I’ll have sparkling, she’ll have tap.” Mom starts to order and while I’m taking it down- “I WANT A LEMONADE” just ignoring him at this point, taking the adults’ orders. I repeat everything back to them and the kid just starts screaming “PIZZA AND LEMONADE PIZZA AND LEMONADE” and the mom is just laughing and stroking his hair.
Then I get a little busy, maybe 7 tables in and I hit a point where everybody has what they need and I have a moment to use the bathroom. Asshole comes and aggressively jiggles the handle and tries to enter the bathroom for about 10 seconds. I wash my hands and he starts screaming at me for using the bathroom.
All this while I’m close to tears my back hurts so much.
It starts to drizzle outside and our two tables in the patio get wet, including the roll-ups. I have tables that need immediate attention, so I leave it for the moment since it’s not urgent and the damage is already done.
One of the other owners (let’s call him Dickhead) points to the glasswasher and demands I clean the garbage from the tray. I clean it and he starts yelling that it’s unacceptable to keep it that way. Because apparently I have all this time on my hands to clean shit while doing all these other things.
Finally finishing up, last table closes up and I start my closing duties for the morning shift. Dickhead runs to the back where I’m doing rollups and starts screaming at me that the rollups on the patio got wet.
I finally leave and try getting home. Subway is down at the station I need to get to, so I get off one station earlier where it was going to turn back and see my bus is there. It only comes once every 40 minutes or so so I was pretty happy, but this asshole sees me coming up and starts to close the doors and drive off. I run in front of the bus and he stops, gets all pissed and opens the doors, screaming at me that he had been there all day. I reply “congratulations, I’ve been at my job all day, too.” He makes a face but doesn’t respond.
Finally get home and my back is still absolutely killing me to the point that I am close to tears. I am exhausted, in pain, beaten down, and have been disrespected all fucking day.
Just one of those days where everything seems to go wrong, it seems.

Hello everyone. 42/F here. I have depression and anxiety, and I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 19. Like all of us, I have good days and bad days, and I'm currently on 10 mg of Lexapro, probably less because I want to be and more because it fends off that dizzy feeling that I get when I try to stop taking it. Just a bit of history, I did have a hospitalization back in 09 (suicide attempt, in for 5 days) following my first divorce and a really dramatic custody battle that had a really shitty outcome.
Back in 2016, I met the love of my life, and we've been together since. We're an international couple and we have had a lot of challenges with immigration, so we've bounced from country to country and we have had to have a lot of separations because of time limits in places, and it's just been hard. He hasn't been employed and I spent some time employed working shit jobs that I could quit when it was time to go back to him. I got tired of this and I went back to finish my degree. I chose a program that wasn't online but that the faculty modified for me so I could do it mostly online. I had to do my last semester in person because of a few class requirements, so it meant leaving his country and going back to my own.
It was hard. When I love someone, I love them hard, really hard, and I would get so frustrated with him because here I was busting my ass to try to make something happen for us, to create the miracle that would allow us to be stable, and he just wasn't meeting me halfway. I would get sad, then I'd get angry, then I'd lash out, and then we'd fix it but we went through this cycle so many times. I suppose I should mention that we DO NOT fight at all when we are together in person. We have a great time and we have a wonderful physical connection.
Anyway, long story short, I went through one of my overworked and super upset periods and said that I couldn't do it anymore and didn't want to be married. I never mean it when I say these things, but I guess this time he just took it to heart. He developed what he referred to as an "emotional attachment" to a family friend. I knew something was wrong because I just know him like that, and when he finally came clean, some of the words he used were that things were always tense with us but she made him smile and laugh, that they were talking it slow over a long period of time, and that they would never do anything while he and I were still together. Then he tried to tell me that they are just friends. But, he's saying that he doesn't know if he can trust me or that he can repair the relationship, and does he have to end his friendship with her, and he hasn't decided if he wants to repair things or allow me to come see him so that we can try to talk in person. I wrote her an email, because I really liked her before all of this, and told her how broken hearted I was and asked her, if she had any respect for me at all, to please not take my husband away. I think he's gone, though. I just have a gut feeling. All of that effort, crossing oceans and continents, working shit jobs that made me sick and miserable just to scratch together the funds for flights, going back to school and busting my ass to try to create something out of nothing, and this is how it ends. Y'all, I got into fucking Harvard for grad school, he wasn't into the idea because it meant moving to the US, and I wanted more than anything to be with him. Thankfully I have an offer at a local university that is really good, but I really don't even have the motivation for that anymore, because all of this was supposed to be for him and for us. I came back for one semester thinking that I would be returning to his country, so I don't have a car or the financial backing to get out, and I'm in this fucking godforsaken rural area with no school right now, no places to work that are closer than 20 miles away, and now no husband.
I'm so low, y'all. So low. Wailing, sobbing, can't eat, can barely get out of bed, panic attacks, knowing that I can't go down the darkest road because my kids, who are now 19 and 21, would have to live with that, but damn, do I just want the lights to go out forever on their own without me having to take action to make it happen. I hurt, my whole body hurts, it's hard to get out of bed, I just cannot see beyond this moment. I am not actively suicidal but I just think about standing in front of the train or walking into the water somewhere and the peace in that. I'm not going to do it, let me reiterate that, but there's a peace in the thought of this really hard life being over. I'm old enough to have lived and I've seen a few interesting places, my kids are adults, I don't really have any other goals left because they were all tied into him, like buying a home and taking a real vacation together and having dinners and watching movies and just finally having a normal life for once. Without those goals, I don't really have any of my own and I don't really care anymore. My social anxiety keeps me from being able to connect with friends, and my family is really challenging, complicated, and unsupportive. I tried to reach out to a family member today and I got, "You STILL down in the dumps?" Jesus Christ, I wish I was just down in the fucking dumps. This is different and it's very reminiscent of the time I was hospitalized.
I've downloaded Headspace to try to breathe, tried listening to music, can't focus enough to read, but nothing is working. My hygiene is lapsing. I'm having really vivid nightmares where I wake up sweating (last night it was one about being forced to slice my own toes off and eat them WTF). I just don't know what a person with no support system does when things are like this. The last time I was hospitalized, someone just happen to find me because I was living on a military base, but that's not going to happen this time. No one is coming to save me, and I have to save myself but I don't know how.
I'll take any advice. Literally anything. No pressure, but you guys are my only outlet and I don't have anyone else to ask. This is sorta my last ditch effort to get some help. This shit HURTS like nothing ever has. Any thoughts? I'll be glad to hear them.
​

So.. Ugh I have posted this here before. But basically I had some kind of psychotic episode where I ended up texting someone who had previously exhibited abusive behavior towards me(attacking) some really scary text messages about my childhood trauma. They were psycho messages honestly. I was not being a good person. I was being weird and creepy. But this person never responded so I didn’t really like…I didn’t understand that what I was doing was like…not okay. Especially because drugs were involved. Im Not saying that I’m not responsible for my behavior, I really wish I didn’t act like that.. it’s incredibly embarrassing
I used the triggering word ‘child sex abuse’ and then began to try to explain why I had sent those messages…but I was also struggling with the idea that I was saving the world. And I was trauma dumping on this person. It was really inappropriate behavior, honestly. It was scary. I’m still healing from it, it’s been 9 months post breakdown. But I was so mean and inappropriate during that time… I essentially just repeated the cycle of abuse. I mean…I was incoherent and crazy yeah…but I said things like ‘When are you going to realize that you’re more than who you think you are’ I don’t really believe that I am justified with this behavior. I just had a psychotic break. I tried to apologize to this person but honestly…I am so deeply ashamed and embarrassed it’s hard to even find the right words to say. I think where I went wrong is I tried to show empathy to someone who had already showed me their true colors(attacked me when I had done nothing wrong) by talking about how I had been abused and I was trying to heal & that I was sorry that I wasn’t ready to go out with him but it didn’t mean he had to attack me. During the episode I genuinely believed explaining myself was going to cause him to understand me. Umm but I mean I was very mean..I commented on how he was ‘manipulative and controlling’ which he himself had told me ‘because he needed to heal from his inner pain’ Oh my god, I was just awful. I’m writing this out because I’m trying to regain self awareness after losing it due to psychosis. This really sucks.
Yeah I mean…I ruined my life by this happening. Other people I told don’t think so, but genuinely being a bad person is not something I ever wanted to be 😔 but here we are…I genuinely was so disturbing. Yeah I…I’m upset because genuinely I felt really good about myself because I had shown him kindness after he had been so rude to me. And then…meltdown…yeah. I feel like I went from a diamond heart to shit in one night.

I am currently listening to POA again and would love to read something where after Harry blows up aunt marge, she has a personality change or change of heart…somehow realizing that Vernon and Petunia are garbage and she decides to become a better person who apologizes to Harry and moves closer to be around him more in order to protect him/be his safety net. Knowledge of his magical abilities could be discovered or just have a suspicion. Anyone know something along those lines?

Ok so please answer respectfully. I’m looking for actual advice and not just “never go back to an ex” this is something I’d really like to do despite what the outcome might be.
My ex 31m broke up with me 35f in the beginning of May. We met at the end of September right before he moved to a different state. We talked the entire time and he came to visit me quite a lot. He was never really sure if he was moving back to our home state so I was sort of reserved the entire time to protect my heart. We had a lot of fun together when he would visit even with my reservations but I did not open up to him as much as he was hoping which ultimately ended with us breaking up. We are on good terms and still talk here and there. He told me he is moving back next week the last time we spoke which was on Sunday. I really want to text him to see if he would be willing to talk and see if he’s open to actually trying a relationship when he is here and we can see eachother whenever we want rather than it be this weird LDR dynamic. Does anyone have any advice for me?
I know that he should be the one making the move since he dumped me. But I don’t want to regret not telling him how I feel. When he broke up with me all I said was “okay I understand, I care about you a lot and want you to be happy”. But I never told him that I’d be open to trying once he’s home if he wanted to give it a shot. I feel like I dropped the ball.

Lisa was so right calling out petulant James for his moronic rhetoric. He so so bothered and hurt by Raquel dumping him. James needs to go .. so over him

Ok so please answer respectfully. I’m looking for actual advice and not just “never go back to an ex” this is something I’d really like to do despite what the outcome might be.
My ex 31m broke up with me 35f in the beginning of May. We met at the end of September right before he moved to a different state. We talked the entire time and he came to visit me quite a lot. He was never really sure if he was moving back to our home state so I was sort of reserved the entire time to protect my heart. We had a lot of fun together when he would visit even with my reservations but I did not open up to him as much as he was hoping which ultimately ended with us breaking up. We are on good terms and still talk here and there. He told me he is moving back next week the last time we spoke which was on Sunday. I really want to text him to see if he would be willing to talk and see if he’s open to actually trying a relationship when he is here and we can see eachother whenever we want rather than it be this weird LDR dynamic. Does anyone have any advice for me?
I know that he should be the one making the move since he dumped me. But I don’t want to regret not telling him how I feel. When he broke up with me all I said was “okay I understand, I care about you a lot and want you to be happy”. But I never told him that I’d be open to trying once he’s home if he wanted to give it a shot. I feel like I dropped the ball.

Ok so please answer respectfully. I’m looking for actual advice and not just “never go back to an ex” this is something I’d really like to do despite what the outcome might be.
My ex 31m broke up with me 35f in the beginning of May. We met at the end of September right before he moved to a different state. We talked the entire time and he came to visit me quite a lot. He was never really sure if he was moving back to our home state so I was sort of reserved the entire time to protect my heart. We had a lot of fun together when he would visit even with my reservations but I did not open up to him as much as he was hoping which ultimately ended with us breaking up. We are on good terms and still talk here and there. He told me he is moving back next week the last time we spoke which was on Sunday. I really want to text him to see if he would be willing to talk and see if he’s open to actually trying a relationship when he is here and we can see eachother whenever we want rather than it be this weird LDR dynamic. Does anyone have any advice for me?
I know that he should be the one making the move since he dumped me. But I don’t want to regret not telling him how I feel. When he broke up with me all I said was “okay I understand, I care about you a lot and want you to be happy”. But I never told him that I’d be open to trying once he’s home if he wanted to give it a shot. I feel like I dropped the ball.

Ok so please answer respectfully. I’m looking for actual advice and not just “never go back to an ex” this is something I’d really like to do despite what the outcome might be.
My ex 31m broke up with me 35f in the beginning of May. We met at the end of September right before he moved to a different state. We talked the entire time and he came to visit me quite a lot. He was never really sure if he was moving back to our home state so I was sort of reserved the entire time to protect my heart. We had a lot of fun together when he would visit even with my reservations but I did not open up to him as much as he was hoping which ultimately ended with us breaking up. We are on good terms and still talk here and there. He told me he is moving back next week the last time we spoke which was on Sunday. I really want to text him to see if he would be willing to talk and see if he’s open to actually trying a relationship when he is here and we can see eachother whenever we want rather than it be this weird LDR dynamic. Does anyone have any advice for me?
I know that he should be the one making the move since he dumped me. But I don’t want to regret not telling him how I feel. When he broke up with me all I said was “okay I understand, I care about you a lot and want you to be happy”. But I never told him that I’d be open to trying once he’s home if he wanted to give it a shot. I feel like I dropped the ball.

I (19f) dumped my boyfriend (21m) because of my family. He's non Muslim. I'm not even a Muslim myself but i'm in the closet cause i'd be disowned. Our relationship was secret. We're going to meet one last time this sunday and I hope to hear what he feels, if he wants to work things out or go forward in life. Today when we were texting i told him that I love him, he replied with have a nice day. He told me yesterday that he doesn't want to talk about the break up or how things went, that he chose silence. I'm hurting over here as he was my first and last. I don't want anyone else.

Coming onto eight months post BU, I could never have imagined before not seeing him for a week. Now, we have not seen each other for eight months and not spoken for six. Life still goes on. I can't say I am doing particularly well but I am also not doing bad. My progress of healing had many ups and downs.
Month 1 of NC- Basically a walking zombie. I have never experienced such an pain before. It was literally like someone ripped my heart apart. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and was very depressed. I lost 5 kg this month. It was also my birthday accompanied with xmas and new year, making me feel extremely lonely. I also quit my job this month. Being jobless, having a lot of time and being dumped is a bad combination. So much time to think about the why's.
Month 2 of NC- Starting to go out more and try to get back my life on track. I met with a lot of friends and really saw that I have a group of very good friends. They were so supportive. I started a new job, which was a good distraction. Also went on a date with a nice guy, but I was really not ready.
Month 3 of NC- Just as I was slowly getting back on my feet, all came crashing down because of his bday. I didn't send him anything which hurt me a lot because I really would've liked to spend it with him. I struggled so much to not send him anything. I bought a lot of things this month just to deal with the sadness and watched a lot of things related to breakup and nc.
Month 4 of NC- This month was better. I started to think less about him, although he will still cross my mind daily. I went on a vacation with a good friend who is going through a divorce. She gave me some other insight on a BU. I admire her since she was so strong to move on and not look back. I also slept with a woman on this trip. It was not bad but I realize that I am really not into women. But yeah, you have to try to know.
Month 5 of NC- This was the best month of all. He still crosses my mind at least once a day, but I don't feel so much sadness and regrets anymore. I started to focus more on my carreer. I also hooked up with someone. Weirdly after the hookup, I felt a sense of relief because I started to accept that it is over. The hookup was really nice and the aftercare he gave was divine. It made me compare him to my ex who did not do anything for me. Unfortunately, he was just on vacation in my country. So, we probably will never see each other again. I started to accept that I will never see my ex again. I have also realized that I was waiting for something from him. A text, a phone call any sign. After I killed that hope, I started to see how he really does not care or have never cared since he didn't even keep his last words to me. This was what pushed me to move on.
Months 6 of NC- Just as I was moving on greatly, I came into a down month. I don't know why, but I have been thinking a lot about him lately.
I don't know how I will be in a few months, but I do see some progress after six month. The hurt is not as painful anymore and most importantly I learned a lot about myself. It is like being reborn. I'm not unhappy with how things are going right now. It is just that sometimes, I feel restless and lonely. The most difficult part was to see that he didn't care. I couldn't lie to myself anymore when the truth was put in front of me. He may have his reasons for not keeping his last promise, but my reality is that he didn't keep it. So, I can't waste any more tears on someone who does not deem me important. I have been dating here and there, but I guess I am not ready yet and dating apps sucks. I realized that I was his rebound and don't want to inflict this pain on someone else. Hence, I am going to take a break from dating and start again when I am truly ready.
To conclude, there is no miracle cure. I went through all the stages of BU and sometimes went back and forth. Time is the best healer. I am sure he came into my life for a reason. I have grew mentally and learned a lot about myself. However, I am not going to thank him and I am petty, so I am not wishing him a great life either. I am not at the point yet to wish him well after everything that happened AFTER the breakup. You really see a person's true nature when you are no longer useful to them. But to end this on a positive note, don't give up hope of getting over them. That day will come.

Hi, this is my first post, and I am a first time parent trying to navigate gentle parenting with my twin toddlers that are 22 months old.
We have just recently entered the tantrum stage in the last month, and I have been reading about gentle parenting since they were born, but now I’m really trying to apply it to difficult scenarios, and I’m struggling.

1. My son has recently started hitting me and pulling my hair when he is upset. I tell him that I’m not going to let him hit me, and I set him down. I even model gentle hands. I know it will take repeated instances of this before it finally sinks in, but what do I do in situations where I can’t set him down. For example, if we are in a public place or if I need to change his diaper? The hitting and kicking is especially bad during diaper changes.

Also, I’m trying to work on teaching them to pick up their toys. My son will gladly help me pick up the toys, but then he will dump them all out just before we finish. I’m sure this is normal behavior for his age, but I’m unsure of how I should stop this?
Thanks in advice for any guidance you can provide.

I'm just wondering if anyone else is watching this show? I'm actually kind of adoring it. I was a little cringed out at first by how XL was acting, but she got a lot better after her realization that if she kept acting that way, even if they got together, JSC would have no respect for her. It's so clear, early on that he actually does care about her. The>! hair tie garbage scene cracked me up, and so did him 'hypothetically asking about kissing' and then watching romance dramas trying to figure out what she is doing.!<
I was also wondering what their age difference is supposed to be, after what we learned in episode 16, clearly their only a 4-5 years apart in age max.
I do like that while this is a bit of a romantic drama, it doesn't seem to be over the top with major drama every episode. It seems to be more sweet.
I was hoping to discuss what people were thinking about what might happen next. Episode 16 dropped today. There are 20 more episodes left to go, and>! I am glad they are together already!<....and I cannot stress how much I hope there is not some major misunderstanding that happens that breaks them up for a while. I do think she will end up going missing at some point and he'll have to find her.
Its also kind of interesting knowing that his mother was her music teacher, so even without the car accident, they might have met eventually.

I know what you're thinking: no way; there's no chance Tim Duncan is the GOAT. He's not even the best player of his generation you might say. You're thinking there's no way Tim Duncan belongs in the same category as MJ or LeBron. If you believe this, there are three things that you'll probably bring up as I make this argument.

1. The Second Act: If you're the kind of person who rates players through spreadsheets, his career in the 2010s is statistically underwhelming.
2. The Peak: You might say that Duncan never had a real peak where he was the most dominant player in the league on a daily basis, like Shaq.
3. Greg Popovich: Duncan has always had Pop, arguably the greatest coach of all time in his corner.

I hear you, and I will address these later on in this post. First, let me address Duncan's stats and accolades.
Duncan's notable accolades from his NBA career are as follows:

• 5 Championships
• 15 All-Defensive Teams (8x First Team, 7x Second Team)
• 15 All Star selections
• 2 Regular Season MVP's
• 3 Finals MVP's

Duncan's 5 championships are more than Larry Bird or Wilt Chamberlain, his 15 All-Defensive selections are the most of anybody ever, his 15 All Star appearances are tied for 3rd all time, he has as many regular season MVP's as Kobe and Shaq combined and only MJ has more Finals MVP's.
Don't forget about his college accomplishments though, because remember: Duncan came out of Wake Forest after four years despite people like Jerry West who said he could have been the number one overall pick had he left after his sophomore year.
Duncan's accolades form his collegiate years:

• 3x NABC Defensive Player of the Year
• 2x ACC Player of the Year
• 2x consensus All-American
• 1997 Naismith Player of the Year
• Most rebounds in NCAA history.

These NBA and collegiate snapshots of his basketball career, should be enough to have him at the table of the GOAT conversation. You're not convinced yet, let's dig into some more numbers.
Here's where Duncan ranks all-time on some of the major statistical categories across his NBA career:

• Points: 16th
• Rebounds: 6th
• Blocks: 5th
• Steals: 158th
• Assists: 100th

These career totals, admittedly, are substantially less impressive than other players at his position, like Kevin Garnett (19th in points, 9th in rebounds, 18th in blocks, 18th in steals, 55th in assists), Karl Malone (3rd in points, 7th in rebounds, 70th in blocks, 12th in steals, 61st in assists) or Dirk Nowitzki (6th in points, 26th in rebounds, 53rd in blocks, 94th in steals, 155th in assists). And that's because you can't judge Tim Duncan's numbers like you can with most players. Imagine in 15 years if somebody said to you that Russell Westbrook was better than Steph Curry, citing how many PTS, AST, and REB Westbrook had. You'd laugh right? Because you know that numbers do not always tell the full story. It is impossible and irresponsible to discuss a player's ranking without mentioning the stats that exists, but by measuring players purely by their basketball reference page, you're leaving out context and the story in which those numbers were achieved. That context is what makes those numbers meaningful.
Such is the case with Tim Duncan, whose success and greatness transcends a box score. You can't judge Tim Duncan with numbers alone. The fact of the matter is, that if you ran a team and if you could pick from any NBA player that ever played the game, and your goal is to win, you would pick Tim Duncan.
Offensively, Duncan was dominant for his first ten years in the NBA. From '98 to '08, he averaged 21.6/11.8/3.1 while playing on one of the slowest teams in the league. In that span, the Spurs never ranked in the top half of the league for PACE. Adjusting his stats for PACE and looking at his stats per 100 possessions (31.2/17.1/4.5 with 3.5 BLK at 50.8 FG%), you're looking at a big man who was every bit as productive as any other offensive player in the league at the time.
You already know about his skillset. He was, after all, The Big Fundamental. He could pass out of double teams, face up and break down the defense with surprising agility, consistently knock down shots from the elbows, and torch any big man in the league with his array of moves in the post and suddenly imposing physicality. He could masterfully run a PnR with any guard with working limbs. And, of course, he had his signature bank shot, one of the most consistent and reliable shots of all time along with Kareem's Sky Hook and Dirk's fadeaway. Those skills never deteriorated throughout his career, except perhaps his last year.
This is where I want to attack the 2nd idea that his second act was unexceptional. His scoring numbers dipped in last 8 years, where he never averaged over 20 PPG. But, as the Spurs offense became more collaborative and free-flowing, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili shouldered more of that scoring burden as Duncan aged. Duncan's shot attempts fell, though he remained efficient. His skills hadn't waned; the Spurs just didn't need him to score 28 points every night. He retained his role as alpha dog during this stretch and contributed in other facets of the game. He could pick his spots, put his teammates in position to succeed, and save himself undue punishment and wear until is was needed. That's why in 2013, at the age of 36, he became the oldest player ever named to First Team All-NBA.
Duncan was never a prolific scorer, even in his prime. His game was never predicated on gawdy point totals like Malone or Dirk. With a different offense, he took fewer shots, and with fewer shots, he scored fewer points. In his last eight years, he remained a tremendous rebounder, was the go-to guy in crunch time, and the best defender, maybe ever. And this is what hurt his stats: the lack of flashy numbers for defense outside of blocks and steals. It's so hard to measure how much a drive was cut off because of his presence or a shot that was altered because of his contention. There are some metrics that attempt to measure this, like DRTG, Defensive Win Shares, and Defensive +/- , and while it is an inexact science, these measures do a fairly good job at assessing a player's impact on defense. Duncan's ranking in those metrics is unmatched:

• 95.6 DRT (3rd all time)
• 106.3 Defensive Win Shares (2nd all time)
• Defensive +/- (5th all time)
  These metrics along with his All-Defensive selections serve as a testament to how Duncan thrived when the opponent had the ball. Legendary basketball writer, Jack McCalllum wrote this for SI in 2016 after Duncan retired:
  

"Duncan guarded centers and power forwards (sometimes even small forwards) with equal success. And as the NBA became more and more of a high pick-and-roll game, Duncan accepted the extra responsibility of getting involved at the perimeter, while never abandoning basket responsibility. Nobody was better than Duncan at being both an advance guard and the final fortress."
FiveThirtyEight published this article in 2016, where analyst Neil Paine calculated career WAR values that took into consideration defense and offense, and Tim Duncan led the WAR rankings, by a mile:

1. Tim Duncan: 109.2
2. KG: 96.2
3. Karl Malone: 95.4
4. David Robinson: 89.3
5. Hakeem: 85.9
6. LeBron: 82.8
7. Kareem: 78
8. Larry Bird: 74.2
9. Shaq: 73
10. Pippen: 72.7

What does all of this mean? It means that Duncan was a tremendous offensive player, despite the lack of volume, and one of if not the greatest defenders of all time. In short, his value as a two-way player is virtually unmatched in the last 50 years of NBA basketball.
Enough with the numbers. I want to talk about Duncan when it mattered the most: the playoffs. You can look at any numbers, read any article, or talk to any fan who paid attention to the game at the time, and you'll come to the same conclusion: Tim Duncan was a killer in the playoffs. All of his most memorable performances came in the postseason, and more often than not, came in crucial games when his team needed him most. From his near quadruple double in 2003 to close out the Nets and earn his 2nd championship to his 25 point first half against the Heat in Game 6 of the 2013 Finals ten years later, there was never a moment too big for Duncan. Here are his playoff numbers, significantly higher in almost every category than he his in the regular season:

• Points: 6th
• Rebounds: 3rd
• Blocks: 1st
• Steals: 46th
• Assists: 33rd

His '99 championship run was phenomenal, where he tore through a young Kevin Garnett, the newly assembled Kobe-Shaq Lakers, Rasheed Wallace's Trailblazers, and the Patrick Ewing-less 8-seed Knicks on his way to being named the second youngest Finals MVP ever. His 2002 campaign was incredibly underrated, as he carried one of the worst teams of his career to 60 wins and outplayed Shaq before being beat by the two-time champs. His 2003 season was his best season, and we'll get to that in a second. Just know that his running mate, David Robinson, averaged 8.5 PTS and 8 REB in the regular season and that Duncan's 5.9 win shares in that playoff run remain the most of anybody in a single postseason.
In the mid-to-late 2000s, Duncan's Spurs remained a fixture in the playoffs against competition like Dirk's Mavs, Nash's Suns, and Kobe's Lakers. He repaid them with two more titles in '05 and '07. He also gave us one of the clutch shots of his career in Game 1 against the Suns in 2008 with this 3 point game-tying three pointer in OT.
Like I said earlier, in Game 6 of the 2013 Finals, at age 36, playing against Wade, Bosh, and apex LeBron on the road, Duncan put up 25 points in the first half. It would have gone down as an all-time series clinching performance had it not been for Ray Allen's iconic game-tying 3-pointer. Looking for revenge in the 2014 Finals, Duncan set the tone in Game 1 with the classic 21/10 game, while shooting 9/10 from the field. As his final playoff hurrah in 2015, trying to defend the title at the ripe age of 38 in Game 7 of a first round series against the Clippers, Duncan reached all the way back and put up 27/11, sinking crucial free throws to tie it, before Chris Paul hit a clutch, game-winning shot near the buzzer.
The same Tim Duncan giving the business to a 22-year-old Kevin Garnett, was the same Tim Duncan taking a 26-year-old DeAndre Jordan to school. Duncan was ready to win championships from the day he entered the league to the day he left. And I think that is why his peak is used against him as an argument for GOAT status. The fact that his championship window lasted his entire 19-year NBA career and that his teams were always somewhere between 50 and 60 wins meant that it's hard for any one of his seasons to stand out from the rest. And for some unfathomable reason, being consistently great is less of an accomplishment than being great for short stints.
Like I said, his 2003 season was his best, after leading his team to 60 wins and his 2nd consecutive MVP, Duncan eviscerated everything in his path as he tore through the playoffs. He upended the Suns, ended the Lakers 3-year reign as champions, and outdueled Dirk before absolutely torching the Nets in the finals. By the time he was holding the trophy, it was clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that Duncan was the league's best, most complete player.
Now, I'd be lying if I said that Duncan's peak was higher than Shaq's. But I also wouldn't feel comfortable saying that the difference between the two is great enough for me to lose sleep over. To me, the truth is that Shaq was so much more of a spectacle. To watch peak Shaq was an experience unlike anything else. To see someone of his size and stature move so powerfully and fluidly is still something of a miracle. To see Duncan at the peak of his powers was a lot like seeing him seven or eight years later. He was just a little faster, a bit stronger, and a touch quicker in his prime. But do aesthetics denote superiority? I'd say, no. And though Shaq in his prime was certainly a more dominant offensive player, there was never a time where he could match Duncan's abilities as a defender, leader, or teammate. The two are the antithesis of each other. Shaq loves fame; Duncan loathes it. Shaq would sometimes show up to training camp out of shape, often battle with his co-stars and finished his career having played for six different teams. Duncan took great care of his body, cemented himself as the cornerstone of his franchise, and is one of the most celebrated teammates in NBA history. Shaq left a little on the table. You can never say the same thing about Duncan. Shaq cared a little too much about what everyone thought of him, while Duncan couldn't have cared less.
Let's tackle the third criticism: that he always had Pop. To me, Pop is the greatest coach of all time, but he would be the first one to tell you that he wouldn't be here without Tim Duncan.
For one, Duncan can play any style of basketball, in any era. You want to go slow school, old-pace, dump it off to the big man down low, let him bang and be solid on defense? Titles. Remove the hand-checking and illegal defenses, increase scoring and start moving toward the perimeter? Titles. The league goes small ball, the pace explodes and shooting and ball movement is more important than anything? The largest margin of victory in NBA finals history.
Secondly, he can play with any team. Honestly, has any superstar done more with less? Jordan had Pippen his entire run and Rodman for the last half. Bird had McHale and Parish. Wilt had West and Hal Grier. Russell had Cousy, Jones, and Havlicek. Magic had Kareem and vice-versa. Kobe had Shaq and vice-versa. And LeBron has had Wade, Kyrie, and AD. Duncan's best teammates? Old David Robinson, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili, who combined for 5 Third Team All NBA appearances and 4 Second Team appearances during their time with Duncan. Parker and Ginobili are long shots for the HOF, and even though Robinson's in the HOF, he wasn't playing at a HOF level alongside Duncan.
Third, and most importantly, Duncan forged the culture of the Spurs. Pop was essential in acquiring players and reinforcing the culture that Tim wanted, but Duncan was truly the most vital component. The NBA is a star-driven league and finding a great player who hasn't gotten a coach fired is like finding a good Star Wars movie: they're few and far between. Not only did Duncan not get Pop fired, he let Pop coach him harder than any superstar ever. If Tim had ever thought to himself, "you know what I don't feel like getting my chops roasted in front of the whole team today because I didn't box out well in practice" he could have gone right to RC Buford, and Pop would have been gone - end of story. But Tim understood what Pop was about, and trusted him enough to be mentored in an unprecedented way. He set the example for his teammates, that no one is immune to criticism and that it's expected of everyone to leave their egos at the door.
In 2017, the Spurs SB Nation blog, Pounding the Rock, spoke to Sam Walker, author of "The Captain Class," a book which examines winning culture in team sports, from field hockey to rugby. In an exchange, Walker said this:
"[T]he book's main conclusion is that the only one factor that must be present in order to maintain greatness over a long period of time is the presence of a particular kind of selfless, relentless, independent-minded, publicity-averse, emotionally composed captain with strong communication skills. And that's Tim Duncan. Duncan was a pure example of the species."
I love Pop, but I have to believe that Duncan was the catalyst that powered Pop to be what he is now. This isn't Belichick-Brady where you wonder who made who. Pop is the greatest coach of all time, because of Tim Duncan. If you want to take credit away from Duncan by saying he played for the best teams, you might be right, but only because he made them the best team. He gave up touches, let other guys hold the torch, put everyone around him in the best position to succeed, and he enjoyed it when they did.
When I said earlier that the thing that hurt Duncan's stats more than anything was a lack of defensive numbers, I lied. The thing that hurt Duncan's stats more than anything was the fact that he never gave a shit about stats or awards. Ever. He wanted his teams to succeed and he wanted to win. That's it. Just read about how his teammates talk about him:
"The best PF ever! Thanks for the memories old man. A great player and teammate."
- Lamarcus Aldridge
"Sometimes all you NEED to say is THANK YOU....To the BEST EXAMPLE of a Leader, Brother, Friend."
- Bruce Brown
"Even tho I knew it was coming, I'm still moved by the news. What a HUGE honor to have played with [Duncan] for 14 seasons!
- Manu Ginobili
I don't think there is a more beloved teammate than Tim Duncan. In the words of NBA commissioner Adam Silver, "...his understated selflessness made him the ultimate teammate." Duncan was always the big brother. Correcting his teammates when they made mistakes and throwing his arms around their shoulders when things didn't go their way. He led in the most effective way possible, not with tweeting, bombastic words, or showy halftime speeches, but by example.
Of all the end-of-career farewell wishes, the one from his former teammate, Brent "Bones" Barry stuck out to me the most. He quoted Mark Twain, saying "'To be good is noble, but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble'; for your brilliance TD, I am grateful. For your skills as a player I am in awe. And for your friendship I am honored."
Milwaukee Bucks coach and former Spurs Assistant, Mike Budenholzer said to ESPN's Kevin Arnovitz in 2016: "The magnitude of that, the number of people in this league who have enjoyed opportunity or found fortunate spots in the league, you can trace it back to this one guy -- to the way Timmy played ball and the way he conducted himself. The 'culture' is Timmy."
The NBA is a league of superstars and dynasties - from Russell to Jordan, from Wilt to LeBron. We'll remember its history through its champions, and in the history of North American sports, no team has been as good for as long as the Spurs. San Antonio's success is completely unprecedented in the world of basketball. Aside from his lockout shortened sophomore season, Duncan won 50 or more games and qualified for the playoffs in every season of his NBA career. He finished his career with a win percentage of 71%, the highest of anyone, in any sport, ever. The Spurs run of success started in 1997, the year they drafted Duncan. Since then, he was the cornerstone, the engine of the franchise that has perpetually defined what winning culture looks like - in and outside of basketball.
And so I say again, if you could pick any NBA player from any era of basketball and your goal was to win, you would pick Tim Duncan. His abilities as a basketball player are what made him a superstar. But his consistency, willingness to be coached, love and support of his teammates, and humility are the things that make him transcendent.
I'll let Pop have the last word. This is what he said to the press after Duncan announced his retirement:
"Everybody always talks about who they'd like to eat dinner with, if you had one night and you could go to dinner or lunch with someone. Some people say Mother Teresa, Jesus, the Dalai Lama...I could honestly tell you, my dinner would be with Timmy. He is the most real, consistent, true person I've ever met in my life."

I need help finding someone to talk to about a family member (my 55 year old brother) who is taking advantage of my 86 year old mother and putting a huge stress on our family by freeloading. He has always been this way, and I don't believe he's ever had a job. My mom is WAY too old to deal with this these days (he moved in with my sister once and came between she and her husband - they are now getting a divorce). We have gotten him several trailers to live in over the years and he absolutely trashes them to the point they need to be hauled away to the dump. Can't do that anymore, way too expensive. Every time we confront him on his behavior, he gets a mysterious illness that brings him to the edge of "death." It's obviously complete BS (he's done this hundreds of times over the years, and those life threatening "illnesses" always miraculously disappear). We have actually kicked him out in the past, and he's been homeless, and then someone in the family gets a soft heart and brings him back in. But I seriously can NOT do this anymore. He doesn't appear to have a mental problem, but the fact that he has always done this speaks to a possible mental disorder of some kind I suppose. He is extremely smart and VERY manipulative and always seems to come out on top. He has completely taken over my mother's house and has blacked-out all the windows and removed all the lightbulbs. He also demands that everything be completely silent when he sleeps - which is from about 10pm to noon or 1pm the next day and yells at my mother if she does something that upsets him. She has a chair that she is supposed to be using, but he has taken that for himself. He also takes her car all day long presumably doctor shopping for schizo meds (Long story, but we caught him doing that). He presents fake illnesses for doctors who prescribe pain meds for him. (He does have diabetes, and so the doctors all prescribe him meds for that, which he has stored in a cupboard and has never used, but there are a bunch of empty medication bottles for schizophrenia -can't remember the name of that drug). None of us knows where to go or what to do about him, and we need to know who to talk to about this. This has literally gone on for decades. And here's the kicker: my mother will not allow ANY of her other kids to take action against him. I've contacted the police to see if we can get a restraining order or something, but they said as long as she welcomes him, there is nothing they can do. I'm sorry if this is the wrong venue, but if you have any information about what the right course of actions is, I am all ears. Please HELP!

This might be long so I apologize in advance. Also English is my second language, please bare with me.
When I was in high school, I met a guy who is now my toxic crazy ex boyfriend. I was with him on and off for about 3.5 years. In 2019-2020 I ended up temporarily moving with him to a home he claimed was going to be ours. However, we shared the home with my exboyfriends then uncle (was or still might be best friends with his dad; I encountered him around 2021 when he told me that he isn’t as close to them anymore which is why I don’t know what he is to my ex boyfriends family) and his two step children. When I moved in, I ended up putting my name on some of the bills in order to work on my credit. Fast forward to 2020, I dump my ex and move out. I was under the impression that my name would be cut from all documents related to the home.
Now it is 2023, I have found the love of my life and I am married to him. We are trying to get our first apartment, and we achieved in doing so. We move in tomorrow, and are now trying to make sure we have all utilities and everything squared away. I decided to call our assigned utility company to attempt to put my name on the bill, but when I called something unexpected happened. I got told that I already have an account with them and that I owe them money! I asked them more questions and found out that it’s been going since 2019, was never cancelled, and that the account hasn’t been payed in months. I found where it was from and confirmed that it was from the house I use to live at in 2019-2020 when I was with my crazy ex.
I’m upset about this. This person is using my information on this account for their bills, I’ve never gotten a call or email about any of this either. My husband and I are going to go to the home and try to talk to my ex boyfriends uncle to see what’s going on. But it is still a very unexpected and upsetting event to be in. Im not sure what will happen or what else to do apart from trying to talk to this person.

!!Warning this post includes Talk about suicide, sh, maybe abuse and probably other considerable heavy topics. Please if you don’t like that sort of stuff or get triggered by it, do not continue reading!!
English isn’t my first language so, sorry for mistakes. And I’m gonna leave out some details for privacy reasons.
I don’t know how to start this but by the title most people can guess what this is about. For some background I (15 f) have divorced parents and two older siblings. My parents are divorced since i was around 5, i don’t know if it was a messy divorce or not but in the end my siblings and i moved in with our father and to another country (unwillingly but not like we had a say in that) my mother was ill even before she had me (I’m the youngest) she was slightly depressed. But after she had me it went downhill. My mother was in bad condition and got sent to a place where they keep an eye on you till you get better. I don’t remember that bc i was like 3 months old but it affected my OS she is probably the only one that actually remembers what happened in that time.
Anyway we moved in with my father and his new girlfriend, and ofc she is the evil girlfriend type (not stepmother!!) Anyway new kindergarten no friends, new school some friends and yeah in all i started to skip classes bc i didn’t wanna go(no one noticed or cared). My OB got into all sorts of trouble which ofc made me the annoying little sister and a person that didn’t exist in his life.
My home life started to get worse, father was always working which means stress what causes irritation and in the end he always got angry with us for being kids, one time he got so mad at us that he lined us up in the kitchen and threw some kind of porcelain bowl at the wall right beside us. Some other behaviors he showed was grabbing my sister wrist and bending it with Her arm behind her back which hurts a lot btw he did it to me too, only once tho i think, i preferred to stay away from him as much as possible. He would threaten us if we didn’t behave saying things like „“if you don’t behave you won’t see your mom in the weekend“ or „“if you don’t clean your room I’ll get a black sack and throw away everything that’s on the ground“ or again „“why are you crying, stop or do you want me to give you a reason to cry“. We got a free time club house in our 4th year and i started to spend all my time there playing video games with my friend which i really enjoyed.
One weekend we were at our mothers place (i had just turned 12) and our downstairs neighbors wanted us to talk about how it went with our Father, us responding with „“not good“ and then there was a whole stir up which got us to move in with our mother and pretty much just leaving my father. I again lost all my friends and got stuck with having to start all over again. (At the same time I suddenly couldn’t sleep anymore, which ended in me getting plant based calming meds which worked at first but then stopped, probably bc i almost took 3 every day in school and some before i had to go to bed)
New school end of fifth year Corona started and we were doing online school, not much to say but it was bad (and the teachers were really dumb) Got sent to grade 7 at a new school where the teachers grade you on how much they like you and not on your actual intelligence. (I started feeling really bad again and started to cope with a box cutter to right below my shoulders so people wouldn’t see even if i just wore a t-shirt that day. I also got new sleeping meds called melatonin but it felt like they didn’t work, even after taking them every night at the same time for like two weeks ) Started skipping again and then at the end of the year we didn’t even get grades anymore just red lines that showed us nothing important. 8th year, three weeks in and i stopped going to school altogether, i couldn’t get out of bed anymore and just started sleeping and doing nothing. Was out of school for half a year and a bit more,my father thought it would be better to take me back to his place and get back into my old school ( no idea how he convinced me or why i decided that was a good idea) but back in my old school thy screwed me over completely and sent me back to year 7 which i already passed. So i was pissed and stopped going to school again.
Now I’m 15 and my father and some therapist and social workers and other people are trying to get me into a girls school that will teach me what i need to learn for the final exam so i can just finish year 9 without a big deal. Now I’m here in my room crying like an idiot bc if this doesn’t work and i fail all together i won’t be able to keep going with my life. I don’t wanna work some job for 40 hours or something i can’t do that. I’m just not made for that sort of stuff and idk why. I’ve been wanting to get this of my chest for so long but never knew how or where since i don’t like to talk to people like therapists and stuff.
There is a lot more stuff that i wanted to write in but that feels like just dumping my problems onto this platform and that didn’t feel right especially bc this is a crying messy rambling session of my weird life.
Thank you for listening to me rambling on about my stupid life that i just can’t bring myself to love.
And again sorry for the mistakes in this post. :]

I met my now ex boyfriend back in April of 2022. We officially started dating in August of 2022. Everything was great, honestly. Until I saw his anger. He often apologized and made up for it and stated he would work on his anger and become better for me. I truly believed he loved me. He was never very good at communicating, so I just thought perhaps he hasn’t had it easy in life and just needs a support system and someone to help him work on that to grow into a better version. He seemed to be very willing. There were times he would read self help books, but then stop. He had made a bullet list of things he needed to work on and how he may be able to work on them, but then he gave up on that. He never wanted to do therapy. I was told by his mother that he had always had anger growing up. He had lost his girlfriend of 5 years in a car accident 2 years before meeting me. I had gotten out of an abusive relationship 2 years before I met him. He stated that his ex girlfriend had cheated on him and they were also on and off. I had thought maybe we were 2 broken people meant to come together to heal one another. Now I think the opposite. When I look back on everything, I see all the red flags I’ve missed or pushed aside because I simply sympathized. He kicked me to the curb 6+ times where I had to pack my things and leave his place (note: he lives with his mother). He would scream at me to leave and then I would start packing and then he would scream at me to stop and to stay. Then I would stay and try and talk but he would still be angry and go right back to telling me to leave. A lot of our arguments stemmed from not being able to communicate in a healthy manner. We both knew that. I tried hard to tell him my needs and wants and he never seemed to be able to do that for me. He would for a short while (especially after breaking up with me and then me going back), but then it would stop. And I would be back to telling him I don’t feel appreciated or loved and he would hate me for feeling that way. He always flipped it around and tried to make it seem like it was my problem and I didn’t love him. But I did, and I exhausted myself trying to talk with him and how he just can’t seem to understand what I’m trying to say or ask for. Long story short, I broke up with him 2 days ago. He was angry, and I had just gotten shoulder surgery 4 days prior. He was taking care of me during the time but complained a lot about doing so. ( i should also note he dumped me the night before my surgery and then begged me to come back the next day because he wanted to take care of me) I was frustrated and so was he. We both said we felt unloved and I thought we had come to a mutual agreement to end things. But then he texted me 3 hours later how sorry he was and “this didn’t feel right in his soul”. At this point I was tired of being broken up with and given apologies and going back and having it repeat. I told him that. I told him I wanted a genuine apology that actually sticks and he follows through with his words. He didn’t want to go out of his way to do that because I guess I was still supposed to believe all the other apologies he gave me. I didn’t agree. I told him we should go our separate ways and I wished him well and hope he grows and finds himself. He then proceeded to call me names and claim I was talking with others dudes. I shut that anger down and ignored him. He said I’d never hear from him again but what do you know, 30 minutes later he types “I miss you” on the app Agape that we have been using for the last 2 months to build our relationship. Then he tries to call me and I ignore and he says he loves me. I sent him a long message how I’ve been feeling unhappy and let down and how I just wished he was the person he claimed to be and promised to give me. He then sends me this:
“All I’ve ever known is being gaven up on. I’ve never met someone like you that actually gives a fuck, but just reading what you have to say about me now questions that you are actually gunna give up on me too and it’s because of my actions I know. And I’m sorry. There’s so many things that I stress about and overthink and I’m sick of that, it affects the way I treat you, affects our relationship and I want to change that. I’m sick of feeling anxious and stressed out when I should be nothing but happy with you. I’m sick of the thought that I ruined this even more than I already have. It’s getting old even to myself how many times I have to fix myself after you telling me how fuccked up I’ve been. It’s just sad. I never intended anything but a happy future with you and I’ve been just so lost since the start trying as best as I could. And it’s sad cuz you think I don’t try for jack shit. What do I even think now… my mind is all over the place. Been on my mind all day if I’ll ever even see you again. Plus worrying about you in general and your shoulder. I fucking worry so much because I care for you so deeply. All of this shit hurts. And now I’m back to questioning if I’m actually the right person for you.”
And this:
“I’ve been selfish… for too long. I get why you want to leave. Scares me. Hate knowing I’ve been so shitty and inconsistent. Just not the person you want. Breaks my heart. I wish I could be good enough for you.”
Then he said this was too much for him to handle and he was going to bed and talk with me more about this tomorrow morning (today). I didn’t wake up to any messages, just a Snapchat of his face and then later on he messaged me “hope you are doing okay”. I didn’t respond.
What do I do? Do I block him? I’m just not sure how to move on with the amount of energy I invested into him. I’m sure most people will think I’m stupid for staying so long, but please keep in mind that I do love him and have always wished him the best, even if he hasn’t been the best to me.

My favorite directors are (and this is in no particular order):

1. Wes Anderson: Quirky in his way of dealing with serious subject matter.
2. Akira Kurosawa: Absolutely epic. A master storyteller with beautiful cinematography.
3. Ingmar Bergman: One of the most thoughtful film directors of all time, very philosophical.
4. Frederico Fellini: An absolute artist. He pretty much paints a picture with film.
5. Terry Gilliam: I love how he creates his own worlds of whimsy and wonder.
6. Andrei Tarkovsky: His movies are like poetry and great literature.

My least favorite directors are

1. John Waters: Absolute garbage movies. Just trash.
2. Pedro Almodovar: I don't know why, but I can't get into him.
3. Jean Luc Goddard: So pretentious.
4. Michael Bay: Need I explain?

And who are you favorites and least favorites?