When I first watched Heathers: The Musical, believe it or not, I fucking hated Heather Duke. My favourite character back then was Heather Chandler, because she’s a mythic bitch. Then, I realised I hated Heather Duke because she was too much like me.
But that’s not the point. My point is, Heather Duke is considered by many to be an extremely hatable character. The purpose of this essay is not to convince you to like Heather Duke more; it is just to defend some of her actions, as stated in the title. Though many of Heather Duke’s actions were inexcusable, she is ultimately one of Heather Chandler’s victims; an example of the victim becoming the bully. Most of this essay is written with the Off-Broadway production in mind, as well as the movie.

Heather Duke has a personality

Let’s start from the very beginning. While it is true that we have about 2 hours of musical content and 1 hour and 44 minutes of movie content to go off of, as well as deleted scripts, much can be gathered regarding Heather Duke’s personality.
Veronica describes Duke as having ‘no discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants’. It is proven further on in the musical that yes, Duke does have a personality; a personality is defined by the Oxford dictionary as the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character. Duke is far from having no discernible personality; hell, you could even argue that Duke is the most in-depth character in Heathers.
The most prominent example of this is Duke’s interaction with JD before ‘Kindergarten Boyfriend’, Duke immediately knowing that “I now know thee, thou clear spirit” is from Moby Dick, and that’s not even the whole quote. Duke is shown to be an avid reader in the movie as well; reading Moby Dick even while playing croquet and in early drafts of the script, referencing The Catcher in the Rye (“Yeah, you know Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye wouldn’t put up with their bogus nonsense.”).
I read The Catcher in the Rye recently, and it’s a coming-of-age novel from an unreliable narrator perspective. The main character, Holden Caulfield, has a very warped worldview, classifying people as ‘phonies’, smoking and drinking while underage, his most notable trait being his red hunting cap; a physical manifestation of his different thinking and uniqueness from others. I interpret Duke liking this novel as her relating heavily with its themes of angst and alienation, often picturing herself as being alienated from the Heathers; with Chandler shown to treat McNamara better than her, and even treats Veronica better than her (to an extent). And as another Reddit user mentioned, curiosity is a sign of intelligence; her willingness to seek new information such as books makes her an extremely intelligent character (even managing to find a quote from a book with 135 chapters immediately).
I almost forgot to add how Duke runs the yearbook; and running a yearbook committee requires qualities such as good leadership abilities, good teamwork skills as well as a high level of creativity. High schools do not just let random people run their yearbook committees; unless Duke bribed the faculty to give her the position or intimidated the student body into electing her as yearbook committee head. In the movie, there’s a scene that Dennis, Peter and a random girl are discussing the yearbook regarding Chandler’s suicide, and the fact that Duke is allowing it to be included in the yearbook (as the head, despite not being in the scene itself) shows that not only is she a somewhat competent head, she also knows what’s best for the yearbook and what isn’t.
Duke comes up with many snarky remarks throughout the musical, some taken directly from the movie version of Chandler (“What? It’ll give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks!”) which implies how she models her behaviour after her though she does come up with her fair share of snarky remarks herself (“We all didn’t kiss on the kickball field!”, “Here comes the cootie squad! We should-“, et cetera).
Duke is insecure, described in the Off-Broadway script as being ‘the whipped beta dog of the three Heathers. Deeply insecure.’ A good example to show her insecurity is in the OOBC bootleg of ‘Beautiful’ on YouTube (Alice Lee is an amazing Heather Duke), when she tells Veronica “Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.” she grips her stomach area, heaving deeply as if she’s disgusted by herself, reflecting her insecurities on Veronica, but regains her composure quickly. Another Reddit user pointed out how Duke seems to adjust the bottom of her blazer after being placed in a situation out of her control; and control is a very important aspect of her character, which I will also be going into when talking about her eating disorder. After Duke gets SA’d by Ram in ‘Big Fun’ and suspended by Mrs. Fleming after ‘Lifeboat’, she readjusts the bottom of her blazer, and I do think this is symbolic; reminding her that after everything, the one thing she has control over is her body and her weight, which is why she specifically readjusts the area of her blazer covering her stomach.
Lastly, Duke is the only character in canon confirmed to have a disorder; bulimia nervosa. While some of you may argue that “JD has antisocial personality disordePTSD!” or “Veronica is depressed!” they are not confirmed. The diagnostic criterion for bulimia nervosa in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-V) are:

• Recurrent episodes of binge eating
• Recurrent inappropriate compensatory behaviors in order to prevent weight gain (like purging)
• The binge eating and inappropriate compensatory behaviour both occur on average at least once a week for 3 months
• Self-evaluation is unduly influenced by body shape and weight
• Disturbances do not occur during episodes of anorexia nervosa

While Duke’s bulimia is mentioned only once throughout the whole musical in ‘Beautiful’, and twice in the movie where it is shown that she started to make an attempt to normally after Chandler’s death (no, you can’t recover from bulimia instantly), it shows a lot about her character. The act of binge eating itself has a sense of lack of control, as stated in the DSM-V. It goes so far that during binges, individuals tend to eat foods they would otherwise avoid; continuing until they are uncomfortably full. The DSM-V states that experiencing multiple stressful life events can precipitate onset of bulimia, and bulimics tend to be ashamed of their eating problems, which can be triggered through multiple factors like interpersonal stressors, negative feelings related to body weight and body shape, boredom, et cetera.
Why am I telling you all this? Because Duke’s bulimia is a product of her insecurity. Heather Duke hates the way she looks; if she didn’t, her mom wouldn’t have paid for implants. Also, the minimum age to get breast implants in the USA is 18; implying that Duke’s mother and Duke got it through illegal means. Heather Duke mafia arc?! Bulimia is also seen by bulimics to be a way to maintain control over their own body. They believe that even if they can’t control anything else around them, they still have complete control over their own body; which is what leads to the development of an eating disorder. Duke wants control; shown by her jealousy of Chandler as well as her taking initiative to obtain the red scrunchie in the musical after Chandler’s death. When Duke doesn’t have control, she uses unhealthy coping mechanisms like her bulimia and phrases to reassure herself (like when JD blackmails her, she says “Nobody cares about the past. Nobody cares about Martha Dumptruck.” and it has a vengeful, angsty intonation to it; as if she’s saying it to reassure herself, perhaps?).
In conclusion, Heather Duke has a personality. She is highly intelligent, snarky, insecure, aching for control over her own life and the lives of others’. Which leads me to my next point.

Heather Chandler’s abuse

Many people speculate that Chandler is an asshole to Duke because she knows that Duke will go batshit crazy on McNamara if Duke gets the power (like she did after ‘Lifeboat’) and hence keeps Duke on a tight leash. In actuality, she does not just keep Duke on a tight leash. She abuses Duke, both physically and mentally. Chandler’s physical assault is shown in ‘Candy Store’, before her riff where Duke wails vocal ad-lib and Chandler fucking pushes her. It has come to the point where people don’t compare how good each individual Chandler’s riff is, rather, people compare how far each individual Duke gets pushed. Under no circumstances should you ever push someone to the ground, let alone your friend or someone who is part of your clique. That’s called bullying.
And if I could list every single instance that Chandler mentally/verbally abuses Duke, I’d be here all day. Which I already am. Some examples include:

• “Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so ‘87.” Not only does Chandler not show a conscious effort to help Duke recover from her eating disorder, she mocks it, ridiculing Duke for being immature (as implied by Chandler’s words) in front of McNamara. Also, fun fact, excessive purging can lead to death. Either Chandler is extremely indifferent and couldn’t give 2 shits if Duke died or is ignorant of what bulimia is. In which case she is still an extremely shitty friend for not trying to help Duke.
• Chandler tells Duke to shut up a total of 4 times in the musical (first time in ‘Beautiful’, “How about prescriptions?” “Shut up, Heather!” second time before ‘Candy Store’, “What? It’ll give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks!” “Shut up, Heather!” third time during ‘Candy Store’ before the riff, “Woah! Honey, what you waiting for-“ “Shut up, Heather!” and last time during ‘Big Fun’, “Here comes the cootie squad! We should-“ “Shut up, Heather!”). And Chandler is alive for a grand total of 42 minutes. Notice that every time Chandler tells her to shut up, Duke always replies with a meek “Sorry, Heather…” (except for during ‘Candy Store’ because Duke’s on the floor but there’s a recording of Jessica Keenan Wynn, Elle McLemore and Kristolyn Lloyd performing the song at a Barnes and Noble where after Jessica as Chandler tells Kristolyn as Duke to shut up, she replies with a hasty “Sorry, Heather!”) which shows how Chandler has basically beaten this poor girl down into submission, silencing her and giving her no right to speak or even have an opinion. Which brings me on to my next instance.
• “You’ll need something to write on. Heather, bend over.” Chandler literally makes Veronica use Duke as a table. In the movie, there is literally a table right behind them; and in a deleted script, both McNamara and Duke bend over, and Chandler makes Duke go back down. The fact that in both the movie and the musical, Duke does it with zero protesting shows that she was acclimatised to her position as Chandler’s metaphorical (and literal) punching bag.
• “I am talking to my friend.” This is in the West End production, where Chandler directly addresses Duke after she says “You were totally throwing your panties at him!” to Veronica. Even within the Heathers, there’s a hierarchy at play; Chandler’s tone of voice is extremely condescending, addressing her as if she’s a dog or an insolent, disobedient kid. Which Duke immediately ‘steps back in line’ and responds with a “Sorry, Heather…”
• During ‘Big Fun’, after Veronica saves Duke’s ass (both metaphorically and literally) from Ram, Duke approaches Chandler who throws her hands up and gives her a patronising look. Even after being sexually harassed by Ram, and even after calling out (“Quit it jackass, get off of me!”), Chandler refuses to offer Duke help; leading to her responding to Veronica’s offers of help with spite and anger from being thrown aside by Chandler (“I didn’t need your help.”).
• “Heather Duke was such a sad little poser. Veronica, tell her to stop touching my stuff.” While this is arguable because this is Chandler’s ghost and it’s implied that Chandler’s ghost is a manifestation of Veronica’s guilt, it shows that even Veronica would subconsciously know that Chandler would say this about Duke. Chandler’s treatment of Duke is so bad to the point of Veronica knowing exactly what Chandler would say about Duke in that situation.

This is way too much for a 17 year old to handle. When Chandler says “Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so ‘87.”, it’s also implying that they knew each other since/before 1987. Which is even more fucked up considering Duke has been constantly taking abuse from Chandler for 2 years or more. The worst part is, if Duke wants to remain a Heather, she can’t do anything. And she’s not allowed to do anything. Or she’d become an ex-somebody, and we all knew the consequences of that in the actual musical. After 2 years (or more) of suffering, what do you think Duke would do? It’s human instinct to feel like shit if you were abused like this. And instead of getting swallowed up by her pain like McNamara did, what did Duke do? Lash out at others. But before I go into that, I’ll go into a small sub-section.

Heather McNamara’s ignorance

Heather McNamara is not an innocent cinnamon roll. She is equally as bad as every other Heather; just that she is redeemable. As Janis Ian/Sarkisian once said, “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.” And it is safe to say that McNamara falls under both categories.
She doesn’t try to stop Duke or protect Veronica when Duke spreads the rumor that Veronica had a threesome with Kurt and Ram; instead, she actively encourages it! In Blue (Reprise), she sings “I hope she rinsed it!” and actively joins in the singing in the West End production’s ‘Never Shut Up Again’.
Heather McNamara is a follower. She’s a lot like someone I know; she follows what the most influential person wants, and goes with it. After Chandler died, it was Duke. And before Chandler died… you guessed it!
You may argue that McNamara told Duke “Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather.” but that is kind of a given…? Someone with bulimia, as stated earlier, would not be open about their eating disorder at all. That is extremely shitty advice to give someone. She could’ve agreed with Duke, could’ve stood up for her or at least tried to interact with her or help her up when she was pushed down; but she didn’t (I think in the West End production she did? I’m not sure either; it looked more as if she was pushing Duke into place which is an even more asshole move to do). Naturally, Duke would associate McNamara as one of the people who wronged her, as well as Chandler. And when McNamara poured her heart out to TV cameras during ‘Lifeboat’… well…

Justifying Heather Duke’s actions

…Heather Duke was not having it. Many people take notice of the “And every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating louder and faster and I’m like ‘Jesus, I’m on the freaking bus again because all my rides to school are dead…’” and then they look at Duke’s line in ‘Candy Store’ (“And get in my Jeep!”) which could be interpreted many different ways. And I like to think that Duke walks to school because bulimics tend to overexercise in order to lose weight (especially considering Heathers occured in a relatively short time frame), but as I said, it could be interpreted many different ways. Bulimics typically have to go through cognitive behavioural therapy (or they can just… recover from their own, but it takes time) but that’s not the point. My point is, Duke didn’t necessarily refuse to pick McNamara up. It’s just a theory. A musical theory.
After ‘Lifeboat’, where McNamara is stuck in a trance-like state, Duke rushes towards her, confronting her. And here’s where everyone forgets that the TV cameras are still recording; why would Duke yell at someone who is suicidal on TV cameras? She wants control. She craves positive attention. The last thing that Duke would do would be to make herself seem like an asshole on national television. The whole sequence seemed as if it was out of rage and pent-up anger more than anything; it was almost immediate after ‘Lifeboat’ ended. Her tone was not dissimilar to Chandler’s before ‘Dead Girl Walking’; both extremely indignant. And here’s where some people also forget that ‘Shine a Light (Reprise)’ happened in McNamara’s head and Duke didn’t actually tell her to go kill herself. I interpret ‘Shine a Light (Reprise)’ not just as McNamara imagining Duke telling her to kill herself, but subconsciously encouraging herself to kill herself. Why would Duke use Mrs. Fleming’s song? In essence; Duke lashed out at McNamara in rage. It seemed more of an outburst rather than a premeditated action.
Sure, I can’t justify Duke spreading the rumor about Veronica having a threesome. I admit that Duke is an asshole for doing that. Which is why I like her. What I can somewhat justify is Duke usurping Chandler’s position as head bitch.
Duke had always been in Chandler’s shadow; and in this case, always been beaten up by Chandler. Naturally, what she’d want to do is issue a final “fuck you” to Chandler by firstly, usurping her position, her red scrunchie, raiding her locker, and blowing her boyfriend (I believe that’s in a deleted part of the movie script where she blows David. But people with EDs typically don’t participate in sexual activities because of their body image issues). Duke wanted to take what Chandler didn’t give her, and she wanted to make others feel how Chandler made her feel. Her actions were out of vengeance and rage.
After ‘Kindergarten Boyfriend’, Duke attempts to get Veronica and McNamara to sign the petition, and when Veronica tells her that “We were avoiding you.”, Duke lets out a gasp of bewildered betrayal. This implies that Duke didn’t understand the consequences of her actions (which again, I can imply that Chandler did it to her so many times that she thinks it’s okay) which is so fucking sad. Which also further leads me to believe that Duke lashed out at McNamara out of rage.

Conclusion

The saddest thing about Heather Duke is that in the Off-Broadway production, she does not achieve a happy ending. She is the only living character in the musical to not have a happy ending (JD reunited with his mom in heaven, Veronica, Martha and McNamara reconcile, the school as a whole reconciled) and instead goes back to being a nobody. She joins a random group and sings with them, showing how it’s so tragic that she didn’t even get to keep what she wanted for so long. Though, in the West End production, she reunites with McNamara and Veronica. But I don’t really like that ending because after what Duke did, I wouldn’t see McNamara and Veronica forgiving her, especially since Duke said that Martha was “Just another geek trying to imitate the popular kids and failing miserably.”
Heather Duke’s actions can’t be fully excused, but she isn’t inherently bad; I believe that her actions were mostly out of vengeance. And that is so relatable. What the fuck.
I like to think that after the events of Heathers, Heather Duke and Heather McNamara went to therapy together, explaining their actions and pushing past their past grievances and turning their trauma bond into a true friendship. But again, it never happened. Unless I write a fanfic about it.
If you’re reading this, thank you for coming to my TedTalk. And I’m so happy you managed to read through my Heather Duke essay. She just like me fr

I've posted about Archbishop Romero several times and I'll do it again because if there was ever a man in our modern times who deserved the title and canonisation of the term "saint" it was him. Archbishop from 1977 to 1980 he was the head of the El Salvadorean Catholic Church at a time when there was a military dictatorship propped up by CIA trained death squads that caused the deaths of 75,000 people. This included innocent men, women and children including infants who were hacked to death in extermination campaigns launched by the dictatorship. He also lived at a time of vast economic inequality in his nation. Inspired by the example of his best friend, Fr Rutilio Grande who stood up for the poor and died, he would stand up for the poor and human rights too. This would lead to clashes with the military dictatorship of his country as well as the expansion of his voice through radio broadcast which was listened to by the poor, the peasant and indigenous populations of both El Salvador and Central America. Because of this the regime sought to bomb his radio stations, which he built back up again. Then they imprisoned him and placed him in solitary confinement. And he kept preached after he was released. Then they took over his Church and turned it into a military barracks to silence him. And through civil disobedience backed by the poor, peasant, mestizo and indigenous peoples he seized back control of the Cathedral even with the army's bullets pointed to him. Then finally when he preached his last sermon while doing mass, he was assassinated in 1980.
Jimmy Carter was the president of the United States at the same time Oscar Romero was Archbishop(1977-1981). He came in promising as one of his election campaigns to change the United States government's policy on human rights. Previous government's of Richard Nixon, Ford and Kissinger as their advisor backed a wave of repressive regimes that repressed human rights in Latin America and the developing world for Cold War purposes. Carter came in promising to prioritise human rights. Just like Oscar Romero he spoke about human rights as being something important. Unlike Romero however he was not consistent. On some issues, such as Chile, Argentina and Guatemala he cut military support for repressive regimes that engaged in murder and torture. However in other instances he continued the Cold War policy of strategic interests such as continuing the Ford-Kissinger policy of backing the Indonesian military's genocidal occupation of East Timor that resulted in the extermination of 200,000 people through an increase of military assistance. When human rights groups, including prominent clergy in the Catholic Church as well as Catholic relief services sought to give reports of what was going on on the ground to Congress, the Carter Administration produced reports either minimising the extent of the crimes and in many cases openly covering for the Indonesian government and stonewalling human rights activists. Carter would do the same thing in El Salvador. His administration continued arms sales to the regime for Cold War purposes and because of the election of 1980 to prove he was being "tough communism" against domestic criticisms. Romero would be assassinated that year and the arms sales continued. It would take the murder of 4 American nuns who's bodies where thrown in a mass grave for Carter to finally suspend arms sales. But that suspension would only last for a month. Because the last thing his administration does in the final weeks of January 1981 is resume those arm sales, which where then increased by President Reagan. These quotes below firstly show Romero's prophetic defense of human rights against the repressive leaders. It secondly shows a contrast between someone who lives and dies for human rights consistently and someone who inconsistently supports human rights depending on the politics. To use a Biblical reference we kind of see a David and Nathan moment here. Here are some of the quotes:
"I'd like to make a special appeal to the men in the army. Brothers, each one of you is one of us. We are the same people. The farmers and peasants that you kill are your own brothers and sisters. When you hear the words of a man telling you to kill, think instead of the words of God. Thou shalt not kill. No soldier is obliged to obey an order contrary to the law of God. In his name, and in the name of our tormented people, who have suffered so much and who's laments cry out to heaven. I implore you. I beg you. I order you. Stop....the repression!"(1980 speech before assassination)
"The omnipotence of these national security regimes, the total disrespect they display towards individuals and their rights, the total lack of ethical consideration shown in the means that are used to achieve their ends, turn national security into an idol, which, like the god Molech, demands the daily sacrifice of many victims in its name. The legitimate security that the state ought to seek for its members is cruelly perverted, for in the name of national security the insecurity of the individual becomes institutionalized"(Fourth Pastoral Letter)
"Because you are a Christian and because you have shown that you want to defend human rights, I venture to set forth for you my pastoral point of view concerning this news and to make a request. I am very worried by the news that the government of the United States is studying a form of abetting the arming of EI Salvador by sending military teams and advisors to "train three Salvadoran batallions in logistics, communications and intelligence." If this information from the newspapers is correct, the contribution of your government, instead of promoting greater justice and peace in EI Salvador, will without doubt sharpen the injustice and repression against the organizations of the people who repeatedly have been struggling to gain respect for their most fundamental human rights."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"If it is true that last November "a group of six Americans were in El Salvador...providing$200,000 in gasmasks and flak jackets and instructing about their use against demonstrators," you yourself should be informed that it is evident since then that the security forces, with better personal protection and efficiency, have repressed the people even more violently using lethal weapons. For this reason, given that as a Salvadoran and as archbishop of the Archdiocese of San Salvador I have an obligation to see that faith and justice reign in my country, I ask you, if you truly want to defend human rights, to prohibit the giving of this military aid to the Salvadoran government Guarantee that your government will not intervene directly or indirectly with military, economic, diplomatic or other pressures to determine the destiny of the Salvadoran people."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"It would be unjust and deplorable if the intrusion of foreign powers were to frustrate the Salvadoran people, were to repress them and block their autonomous decisions about the economic and political path that our country ought to follow. It would violate a right which we Latin American bishops meeting in Puebla publicly recognized when we said: "The legitimate self-determination of our people that permits them to organize according to their own genius and the march of their history and to cooperate in a new international order." I hope that your religious sentiments and your feelings for the defense of human rights will move you to accept my petition, avoiding by this action worse bloodshed in this suffering country."(1980 Letter to President Carter)

I've posted about Archbishop Romero several times and I'll do it again because if there was ever a man in our modern times who deserved the title and canonisation of the term "saint" it was him. Archbishop from 1977 to 1980 he was the head of the El Salvadorean Catholic Church at a time when there was a military dictatorship propped up by CIA trained death squads that caused the deaths of 75,000 people. This included innocent men, women and children including infants who were hacked to death in extermination campaigns launched by the dictatorship. He also lived at a time of vast economic inequality in his nation. Inspired by the example of his best friend, Fr Rutilio Grande who stood up for the poor and died, he would stand up for the poor and human rights too. This would lead to clashes with the military dictatorship of his country as well as the expansion of his voice through radio broadcast which was listened to by the poor, the peasant and indigenous populations of both El Salvador and Central America. Because of this the regime sought to bomb his radio stations, which he built back up again. Then they imprisoned him and placed him in solitary confinement. And he kept preached after he was released. Then they took over his Church and turned it into a military barracks to silence him. And through civil disobedience backed by the poor, peasant, mestizo and indigenous peoples he seized back control of the Cathedral even with the army's bullets pointed to him. Then finally when he preached his last sermon while doing mass, he was assassinated in 1980.
Jimmy Carter was the president of the United States at the same time Oscar Romero was Archbishop(1977-1981). He came in promising as one of his election campaigns to change the United States government's policy on human rights. Previous government's of Richard Nixon, Ford and Kissinger as their advisor backed a wave of repressive regimes that repressed human rights in Latin America and the developing world for Cold War purposes. Carter came in promising to prioritise human rights. Just like Oscar Romero he spoke about human rights as being something important. Unlike Romero however he was not consistent. On some issues, such as Chile, Argentina and Guatemala he cut military support for repressive regimes that engaged in murder and torture. However in other instances he continued the Cold War policy of strategic interests such as continuing the Ford-Kissinger policy of backing the Indonesian military's genocidal occupation of East Timor that resulted in the extermination of 200,000 people through an increase of military assistance. When human rights groups, including prominent clergy in the Catholic Church as well as Catholic relief services sought to give reports of what was going on on the ground to Congress, the Carter Administration produced reports either minimising the extent of the crimes and in many cases openly covering for the Indonesian government and stonewalling human rights activists. Carter would do the same thing in El Salvador. His administration continued arms sales to the regime for Cold War purposes and because of the election of 1980 to prove he was being "tough communism" against domestic criticisms. Romero would be assassinated that year and the arms sales continued. It would take the murder of 4 American nuns who's bodies where thrown in a mass grave for Carter to finally suspend arms sales. But that suspension would only last for a month. Because the last thing his administration does in the final weeks of January 1981 is resume those arm sales, which where then increased by President Reagan. These quotes below firstly show Romero's prophetic defense of human rights against the repressive leaders. It secondly shows a contrast between someone who lives and dies for human rights consistently and someone who inconsistently supports human rights depending on the politics. To use a Biblical reference we kind of see a David and Nathan moment here. Here are some of the quotes:
"I'd like to make a special appeal to the men in the army. Brothers, each one of you is one of us. We are the same people. The farmers and peasants that you kill are your own brothers and sisters. When you hear the words of a man telling you to kill, think instead of the words of God. Thou shalt not kill. No soldier is obliged to obey an order contrary to the law of God. In his name, and in the name of our tormented people, who have suffered so much and who's laments cry out to heaven. I implore you. I beg you. I order you. Stop....the repression!"(1980 speech before assassination)
"The omnipotence of these national security regimes, the total disrespect they display towards individuals and their rights, the total lack of ethical consideration shown in the means that are used to achieve their ends, turn national security into an idol, which, like the god Molech, demands the daily sacrifice of many victims in its name. The legitimate security that the state ought to seek for its members is cruelly perverted, for in the name of national security the insecurity of the individual becomes institutionalized"(Fourth Pastoral Letter)
"Because you are a Christian and because you have shown that you want to defend human rights, I venture to set forth for you my pastoral point of view concerning this news and to make a request. I am very worried by the news that the government of the United States is studying a form of abetting the arming of EI Salvador by sending military teams and advisors to "train three Salvadoran batallions in logistics, communications and intelligence." If this information from the newspapers is correct, the contribution of your government, instead of promoting greater justice and peace in EI Salvador, will without doubt sharpen the injustice and repression against the organizations of the people who repeatedly have been struggling to gain respect for their most fundamental human rights."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"If it is true that last November "a group of six Americans were in El Salvador...providing$200,000 in gasmasks and flak jackets and instructing about their use against demonstrators," you yourself should be informed that it is evident since then that the security forces, with better personal protection and efficiency, have repressed the people even more violently using lethal weapons. For this reason, given that as a Salvadoran and as archbishop of the Archdiocese of San Salvador I have an obligation to see that faith and justice reign in my country, I ask you, if you truly want to defend human rights, to prohibit the giving of this military aid to the Salvadoran government Guarantee that your government will not intervene directly or indirectly with military, economic, diplomatic or other pressures to determine the destiny of the Salvadoran people."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"It would be unjust and deplorable if the intrusion of foreign powers were to frustrate the Salvadoran people, were to repress them and block their autonomous decisions about the economic and political path that our country ought to follow. It would violate a right which we Latin American bishops meeting in Puebla publicly recognized when we said: "The legitimate self-determination of our people that permits them to organize according to their own genius and the march of their history and to cooperate in a new international order." I hope that your religious sentiments and your feelings for the defense of human rights will move you to accept my petition, avoiding by this action worse bloodshed in this suffering country."(1980 Letter to President Carter)

I've posted about Archbishop Romero several times and I'll do it again because if there was ever a man in our modern times who deserved the title and canonisation of the term "saint" it was him. Archbishop from 1977 to 1980 he was the head of the El Salvadorean Catholic Church at a time when there was a military dictatorship propped up by CIA trained death squads that caused the deaths of 75,000 people. This included innocent men, women and children including infants who were hacked to death in extermination campaigns launched by the dictatorship. He also lived at a time of vast economic inequality in his nation. Inspired by the example of his best friend, Fr Rutilio Grande who stood up for the poor and died, he would stand up for the poor and human rights too. This would lead to clashes with the military dictatorship of his country as well as the expansion of his voice through radio broadcast which was listened to by the poor, the peasant and indigenous populations of both El Salvador and Central America. Because of this the regime sought to bomb his radio stations, which he built back up again. Then they imprisoned him and placed him in solitary confinement. And he kept preached after he was released. Then they took over his Church and turned it into a military barracks to silence him. And through civil disobedience backed by the poor, peasant, mestizo and indigenous peoples he seized back control of the Cathedral even with the army's bullets pointed to him. Then finally when he preached his last sermon while doing mass, he was assassinated in 1980.
Jimmy Carter was the president of the United States at the same time Oscar Romero was Archbishop(1977-1981). He came in promising as one of his election campaigns to change the United States government's policy on human rights. Previous government's of Richard Nixon, Ford and Kissinger as their advisor backed a wave of repressive regimes that repressed human rights in Latin America and the developing world for Cold War purposes. Carter came in promising to prioritise human rights. Just like Oscar Romero he spoke about human rights as being something important. Unlike Romero however he was not consistent. On some issues, such as Chile, Argentina and Guatemala he cut military support for repressive regimes that engaged in murder and torture. However in other instances he continued the Cold War policy of strategic interests such as continuing the Ford-Kissinger policy of backing the Indonesian military's genocidal occupation of East Timor that resulted in the extermination of 200,000 people through an increase of military assistance. When human rights groups, including prominent clergy in the Catholic Church as well as Catholic relief services sought to give reports of what was going on on the ground to Congress, the Carter Administration produced reports either minimising the extent of the crimes and in many cases openly covering for the Indonesian government and stonewalling human rights activists. Carter would do the same thing in El Salvador. His administration continued arms sales to the regime for Cold War purposes and because of the election of 1980 to prove he was being "tough communism" against domestic criticisms. Romero would be assassinated that year and the arms sales continued. It would take the murder of 4 American nuns who's bodies where thrown in a mass grave for Carter to finally suspend arms sales. But that suspension would only last for a month. Because the last thing his administration does in the final weeks of January 1981 is resume those arm sales, which where then increased by President Reagan. These quotes below firstly show Romero's prophetic defense of human rights against the repressive leaders. It secondly shows a contrast between someone who lives and dies for human rights consistently and someone who inconsistently supports human rights depending on the politics. To use a Biblical reference we kind of see a David and Nathan moment here. Here are some of the quotes:
"I'd like to make a special appeal to the men in the army. Brothers, each one of you is one of us. We are the same people. The farmers and peasants that you kill are your own brothers and sisters. When you hear the words of a man telling you to kill, think instead of the words of God. Thou shalt not kill. No soldier is obliged to obey an order contrary to the law of God. In his name, and in the name of our tormented people, who have suffered so much and who's laments cry out to heaven. I implore you. I beg you. I order you. Stop....the repression!"(1980 speech before assassination)
"The omnipotence of these national security regimes, the total disrespect they display towards individuals and their rights, the total lack of ethical consideration shown in the means that are used to achieve their ends, turn national security into an idol, which, like the god Molech, demands the daily sacrifice of many victims in its name. The legitimate security that the state ought to seek for its members is cruelly perverted, for in the name of national security the insecurity of the individual becomes institutionalized"(Fourth Pastoral Letter)
"Because you are a Christian and because you have shown that you want to defend human rights, I venture to set forth for you my pastoral point of view concerning this news and to make a request. I am very worried by the news that the government of the United States is studying a form of abetting the arming of EI Salvador by sending military teams and advisors to "train three Salvadoran batallions in logistics, communications and intelligence." If this information from the newspapers is correct, the contribution of your government, instead of promoting greater justice and peace in EI Salvador, will without doubt sharpen the injustice and repression against the organizations of the people who repeatedly have been struggling to gain respect for their most fundamental human rights."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"If it is true that last November "a group of six Americans were in El Salvador...providing$200,000 in gasmasks and flak jackets and instructing about their use against demonstrators," you yourself should be informed that it is evident since then that the security forces, with better personal protection and efficiency, have repressed the people even more violently using lethal weapons. For this reason, given that as a Salvadoran and as archbishop of the Archdiocese of San Salvador I have an obligation to see that faith and justice reign in my country, I ask you, if you truly want to defend human rights, to prohibit the giving of this military aid to the Salvadoran government Guarantee that your government will not intervene directly or indirectly with military, economic, diplomatic or other pressures to determine the destiny of the Salvadoran people."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"It would be unjust and deplorable if the intrusion of foreign powers were to frustrate the Salvadoran people, were to repress them and block their autonomous decisions about the economic and political path that our country ought to follow. It would violate a right which we Latin American bishops meeting in Puebla publicly recognized when we said: "The legitimate self-determination of our people that permits them to organize according to their own genius and the march of their history and to cooperate in a new international order." I hope that your religious sentiments and your feelings for the defense of human rights will move you to accept my petition, avoiding by this action worse bloodshed in this suffering country."(1980 Letter to President Carter)

I've posted about Archbishop Romero several times and I'll do it again because if there was ever a man in our modern times who deserved the title and canonisation of the term "saint" it was him. Archbishop from 1977 to 1980 he was the head of the El Salvadorean Catholic Church at a time when there was a military dictatorship propped up by CIA trained death squads that caused the deaths of 75,000 people. This included innocent men, women and children including infants who were hacked to death in extermination campaigns launched by the dictatorship. He also lived at a time of vast economic inequality in his nation. Inspired by the example of his best friend, Fr Rutilio Grande who stood up for the poor and died, he would stand up for the poor and human rights too. This would lead to clashes with the military dictatorship of his country as well as the expansion of his voice through radio broadcast which was listened to by the poor, the peasant and indigenous populations of both El Salvador and Central America. Because of this the regime sought to bomb his radio stations, which he built back up again. Then they imprisoned him and placed him in solitary confinement. And he kept preached after he was released. Then they took over his Church and turned it into a military barracks to silence him. And through civil disobedience backed by the poor, peasant, mestizo and indigenous peoples he seized back control of the Cathedral even with the army's bullets pointed to him. Then finally when he preached his last sermon while doing mass, he was assassinated in 1980.
Jimmy Carter was the president of the United States at the same time Oscar Romero was Archbishop(1977-1981). He came in promising as one of his election campaigns to change the United States government's policy on human rights. Previous government's of Richard Nixon, Ford and Kissinger as their advisor backed a wave of repressive regimes that repressed human rights in Latin America and the developing world for Cold War purposes. Carter came in promising to prioritise human rights. Just like Oscar Romero he spoke about human rights as being something important. Unlike Romero however he was not consistent. On some issues, such as Chile, Argentina and Guatemala he cut military support for repressive regimes that engaged in murder and torture. However in other instances he continued the Cold War policy of strategic interests such as continuing the Ford-Kissinger policy of backing the Indonesian military's genocidal occupation of East Timor that resulted in the extermination of 200,000 people through an increase of military assistance. When human rights groups, including prominent clergy in the Catholic Church as well as Catholic relief services sought to give reports of what was going on on the ground to Congress, the Carter Administration produced reports either minimising the extent of the crimes and in many cases openly covering for the Indonesian government and stonewalling human rights activists. Carter would do the same thing in El Salvador. His administration continued arms sales to the regime for Cold War purposes and because of the election of 1980 to prove he was being "tough communism" against domestic criticisms. Romero would be assassinated that year and the arms sales continued. It would take the murder of 4 American nuns who's bodies where thrown in a mass grave for Carter to finally suspend arms sales. But that suspension would only last for a month. Because the last thing his administration does in the final weeks of January 1981 is resume those arm sales, which where then increased by President Reagan. These quotes below firstly show Romero's prophetic defense of human rights against the repressive leaders. It secondly shows a contrast between someone who lives and dies for human rights consistently and someone who inconsistently supports human rights depending on the politics. To use a Biblical reference we kind of see a David and Nathan moment here. Here are some of the quotes:
"I'd like to make a special appeal to the men in the army. Brothers, each one of you is one of us. We are the same people. The farmers and peasants that you kill are your own brothers and sisters. When you hear the words of a man telling you to kill, think instead of the words of God. Thou shalt not kill. No soldier is obliged to obey an order contrary to the law of God. In his name, and in the name of our tormented people, who have suffered so much and who's laments cry out to heaven. I implore you. I beg you. I order you. Stop....the repression!"(1980 speech before assassination)
"The omnipotence of these national security regimes, the total disrespect they display towards individuals and their rights, the total lack of ethical consideration shown in the means that are used to achieve their ends, turn national security into an idol, which, like the god Molech, demands the daily sacrifice of many victims in its name. The legitimate security that the state ought to seek for its members is cruelly perverted, for in the name of national security the insecurity of the individual becomes institutionalized"(Fourth Pastoral Letter)
"Because you are a Christian and because you have shown that you want to defend human rights, I venture to set forth for you my pastoral point of view concerning this news and to make a request. I am very worried by the news that the government of the United States is studying a form of abetting the arming of EI Salvador by sending military teams and advisors to "train three Salvadoran batallions in logistics, communications and intelligence." If this information from the newspapers is correct, the contribution of your government, instead of promoting greater justice and peace in EI Salvador, will without doubt sharpen the injustice and repression against the organizations of the people who repeatedly have been struggling to gain respect for their most fundamental human rights."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"If it is true that last November "a group of six Americans were in El Salvador...providing$200,000 in gasmasks and flak jackets and instructing about their use against demonstrators," you yourself should be informed that it is evident since then that the security forces, with better personal protection and efficiency, have repressed the people even more violently using lethal weapons. For this reason, given that as a Salvadoran and as archbishop of the Archdiocese of San Salvador I have an obligation to see that faith and justice reign in my country, I ask you, if you truly want to defend human rights, to prohibit the giving of this military aid to the Salvadoran government Guarantee that your government will not intervene directly or indirectly with military, economic, diplomatic or other pressures to determine the destiny of the Salvadoran people."(1980 Letter to President Carter)
"It would be unjust and deplorable if the intrusion of foreign powers were to frustrate the Salvadoran people, were to repress them and block their autonomous decisions about the economic and political path that our country ought to follow. It would violate a right which we Latin American bishops meeting in Puebla publicly recognized when we said: "The legitimate self-determination of our people that permits them to organize according to their own genius and the march of their history and to cooperate in a new international order." I hope that your religious sentiments and your feelings for the defense of human rights will move you to accept my petition, avoiding by this action worse bloodshed in this suffering country."(1980 Letter to President Carter)

Welcome new readers. Please start with chapter one https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/11ai7iv/last_of_the_defenders_ch_01/
Previously https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/11xv7ss/last_of_the_defenders_ch_28/
Allah settled into a corner of the room, resting against a wall at a crouch. Li pulled out a sheet of shiny black cloth from her pocket, flapping it to unfurl the short, shawl length thing. She set it on the desk and the cloth lit up--a duplicate of the interface she had used in Star dancer’s CNC--to form a keyboard. The human danced her fingers over the glowing surface, lists and glyphs changing, growing, being replaced by new symbols.
Several times the lights flickered ominously. Once they went out completely for a span of seven times seven times three and six heartbeats, the room suffused by the glow of the sticks, the monitor and Li’s keyboard cloth.
Allah lowered her head in thought. Why would the other defenders abandon them? Abandon Li? She had said, before, that “the tempo of the war had changed” when the bullies attacked…dirt? The bullies seemed to attack anything. What was so special about this particular dirt?
It had to have been important. Irreplaceable even. Allah suspected the war must not be going as well as Li’s performance last night had appeared.
She wanted to ask but more importantly she did not want to interrupt. Li remained focused on the screen and her keyboard until Allah had lost all track of time. It was only after the human stood, stretched and yawned that Li took notice of the U’knock.
“What’re you doing?” she asked.
“Waiting,” Allah said simply. And what else could she do? She had barely managed to make broth, and that with help. Allah had considered returning to the mess hall to clean the dishes and dispose of the trash left from their meal but…she did not trust the hole in the wall to provide enough water to clean them, nor did she know where to find a well, wash rags, or the refuse heap. Was the outpost like Star dancer? She did not remember seeing a bucket in the walls to whoosh away such work.
“That won’t do,” Li chastised, turning to stride out the door. The lights flickered again and Li returned to the desk, grabbing her glowing stick.
“Demeter?” Li called as Allah rose from her crouch and picked up her own stick to follow, “Do you have any V-REHs in storage?”
“T-t-t-t-t-this facility hhhhhhhhas a fully stoc-c-c-cked classroom,” the machine replied. Whatever Li had been focused on, heeling Demeter speak was not an apparent priority.
“Show me,” Li ordered.
"P-p-please follow the indicated-d-d-d-d-d-” Demeter hiccuped, clicked and was silent. A blue light flickered on and off on the floor. Li followed.
They reached the great hall again, and Allah was almost surprised to hear the sound of robots still busy tearing apart other machines. More, in place of the planters there now sat the squat carts from the holoimage at the quorum. Tanks, Li had called them. They were bare, skeletal husks now, but the treads and wheels were in place. Three humanoid robots were pushing a large many tubed box into the machine's center.
“How many of these will we need to make?” Allah asked as she passed another husk of metal.
“We’ll keep producing until the siege ends,” Li answered, “but I’d like to have at least one thousand per continent. And at least a hundred mass drivers for orbital bombardment deterrence.”
“Those are the larger ones,” Allah guessed, “the wide ones that will crush Umati’clam’s buildings?
Li nodded. “The same,” she pointed up. In the dim scattered light Allah could see the open center of the spire was no longer so open. Highlighted by the glow of sparks were the skeletons of metal birds. She could not be certain but these forms looked larger than the arrows that had assaulted the bully vessel. “But those bad boys,” Li continued, “will be able to take the fight to em.
“Nachtkrapp class assault fighters,” Li explained. The flickering blue light led them out of the garage and down another door filled corridor. “With quad mounted rail guns and hardpoints that can load up to four Hawking/Golubev B-903 ship killer missiles.
“Buster missiles,” Allah said uncertainly. Li nodded. “These birds--these Nachtkrapps--are much larger than the arrows from before. Why did Demeter not use such weapons last night?”
Li stopped in the dark hallway, turning to reappraise her friend. “You catch on quick,” the human complimented Allah. She turned, resuming their journey. “Two reasons. First, Nachtkrapp designs are only about thirty years old so Demeter didn’t know how to make them before we uploaded thermopylae. They’re not bleeding edge tech but they’re proven and tough. The assault drones you saw last night are in-atmosphere interceptors. Not much bigger than busters themselves.”
“You said there were two reasons,” Allah pressed as she was led into another room filled with tables. These were much smaller than the mess hall benches, a single chair and monitor for each. They were arranged in a circle around the room, facing inward. Li strode to a closet in the corner.
“Gravity weapons have a…life cycle. They need to either be used within a couple years or recycled. Buster missiles are expensive to maintain. So there was no foreseeable reason for Demeter to waste resources on making and maintaining a fleet of drones that could carry them.”
“Until now,” Allah concluded. “But I still do not understand. Why did the bullies come here? We have nothing of value to offer.”
Li stopped digging through the closet, returning to the ring of tables. She set three helmets on one of the tiny tables, then glanced around the room. She walked to another closet, retrieving a pitcher and a plate. Allah watched as Li set the plate in the center of the room, took the pitcher to a waist high box and pressed a button. Water spouted from the top of the box and Li used it to fill the pitcher.
She returned to the center of the room, tapping a button on the edge of the plate with her foot. Allah could feel the air begin to hum.
“Here,” Li handed the pitcher of water next to Allah. “Pour this over the Vibro plate. Don’t worry; it won’t spill as long as the plate is on."
Allah did as instructed, and the water began to shimmer. It hovered three paw’s spans above the surface of the strange plate. Allah bent, sniffing at the floating pool.
“Now,” while Allah had been pouring the water, Li had made a tiny toy out of paper. It was pointed like her ship, but not. It looked like some strange raft, “place this under the water with the flat side pointed up.”
As Allah moved her paw under the water, she felt a force shaking her. She drew her paw away.
“It won’t hurt you,” Li promised. "We used to do this in primary school. It’s a science experiment. For children.”
Cautiously, Allah crouched and slid her paw under the floating water.
“Make sure the boat touches the water before you take your hand away.”
Allah did so and the boat floated upside down on the water.
"This is using vibrational force to counteract gravity. It is not true anti-gravity but it lets you see what I’m trying to describe next."
“It floats upside down though,” Allah pointed to the toy boat as it bobbed on the underside of the pool, upside down. “It defies the gravity."
“Not entirely,” Li answered, “this is more a case of bending the rules."
“What,” Allah asked, “is gravity?”
“It's a fundamental force of physics,” Li explained, holding up a hand at Allah’s question. “We’ll get to physics another time. Every object, including you and me, has gravity. It allows objects to pull one another closer together. It’s what holds you to the ground and,” she dug into a pocket, pulling a round coin shaped object free. She dropped the coin onto the ground, “what causes objects to fall to the ground when released."
“It is not magic then,” Allah gestured to the boat.
“Depending on your level of technological achievement,” Li shrugged, “that's debatable. The point is that normal gravity pulls objects together. The larger the object, the greater that pull. Generally speaking, I’m not getting into mass today.
“But,” she continued, “let us suppose you had a way to harness gravity, “ she bent and manipulated a dial on the plate. “If you could force the gravity of a giant object into a single point,” the pool of water began to shift and change, the upside down boat rocking violently in the sudden storm. Slowly, as Li pressed other buttons and turned dials, the tone of the plate changed, and the pool of water with it. It began to swirl, becoming a tiny typhoon. “Something that is creating a strong gravity well--like this planet--you could “dip” from that well using a special bucket,” the boat was now spinning rapidly faster up the inside of the typhoon, “and take some of that gravity to use for your own means.
“This is how we first learned to control gravity,” Li finished as the boat flew up from the top of the typhoon. “Large objects create it, and we exploit it. It's how we created the slingshot drive. We could use gravity because its pull is infinite, and reaches beyond all the known universe.
“But if it reaches so far,” Allah asked, “why do not all objects pull themselves together?”
“They may,” Li answered, “eventually,” she waved a hand in defeat. “The tech heads would be able to explain this much better than I can. But,” she handed Allah the paper boat, “the important thing is to understand that gravity pulls everything together by its nature, and the closer you are to a large object, the more powerful its effect becomes.
“Now,” she set the pitcher under the typhoon and tapped another button with her foot. The water--most of it--sloshed inside. “This is where things get a little weird. When we first created sling drives we used gravitational pull and massive amounts of power to pull us to neighboring stars, and from there to other stars, and others. But as my species learned more about gravity, we realized we could…” She trailed off. “I am not a gravity mechanic, and we start getting into infinite universe theory, supersymmetry, string theory and you’re barely ready for quantum mechanics,” the human shrugged, “but it was explained to me when I was…younger that it is like reversing the polarity of a magnet. To create an anti-gravitational well inside of an existing gravity well.”
“What is a magnet?” Allah asked.
“Another force of attraction, like gravity, only stronger than gravity, but with much shorter range. But magnets can both pull and repel. So can gravity…Once you learn how.
“And that is part of why the,” Li grinned again. Allah was getting used to the expression, “Bullies attacked here. Your planet has an easily exploitable gravity well and all the resources they could ever want. Well, most. And the swarmers are what my people call a ‘competitive species’. They don’t seek cooperation and destroy any sapient species they find to avoid the chance of competition later.
“That's the main reason why they attacked your planet. Its what’s called the Smorgasbord Doctrine. Once a species learns to control gravity, it becomes more energy and time efficient to use that control to harvest larger astral bodies than to chase down multiple smaller ones. They could have parked over or in one of your gas giants like Star dancer is now and gotten most of the same minerals, water and materials but…there is a third reason. They came here for something ‘special’.”
“What?” Allah asked. What could her planet still have to offer that the bullies could possibly prize?
Li looked at Allah appraisingly, “Complex proteins and carbohydrates remain energy intensive to synthesize or store for long periods of time.”
Allah’s face remained blank as the tiny star behind her ear translated the strange words into U’knock. “Meat and plant matter,” it said.
Li put it more plainly still.
“They came here to harvest you…”

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $1867

★ Butterfly Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $1098

★ Butterfly Knife Blue Steel BS, B/O: $907

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $789

★ Butterfly Knife Stained FT, B/O: $695

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $888

★ Bayonet Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $727

★ Bayonet Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $608

★ Bayonet Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $521

★ Bayonet Rust Coat BS, B/O: $253

★ Bayonet Night FT, B/O: $251

★ StatTrak™ Bayonet Lore MW, B/O: $751

⎯

★ Karambit Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $1343

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $774

★ Karambit Rust Coat BS, B/O: $537

★ Karambit Boreal Forest FT, B/O: $488

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1523

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1523

★ M9 Bayonet Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $1008

★ M9 Bayonet Blue Steel FT, B/O: $534

★ M9 Bayonet Rust Coat BS, B/O: $449

⎯

★ Flip Knife Fade FN, B/O: $703

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $509

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $406

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $228

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $332

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $292

★ Falchion Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $264

★ Falchion Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $258

★ Falchion Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $133

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Fade FN, B/O: $822

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $569

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $530

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $396

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $172

⎯

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $830

★ Gut Knife Fade FN, B/O: $204

★ Gut Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $138

★ Gut Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $104

★ Gut Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $92

★ Gut Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $82

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $93

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $258

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $165

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel FT, B/O: $82

★ Shadow Daggers Bright Water FT, B/O: $82

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel WW, B/O: $80

★ Shadow Daggers Rust Coat BS, B/O: $74

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade FN, B/O: $186

⎯

★ Classic Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $311

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $163

⎯

★ Talon Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $605

★ Talon Knife Scorched MW, B/O: $290

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $405

★ Ursus Knife Night Stripe MW, B/O: $162

⎯

★ Paracord Knife Stained WW, B/O: $125

★ Paracord Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

★ Paracord Knife Safari Mesh FT, B/O: $96

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Safari Mesh FT, B/O: $71

★ Navaja Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $71

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1015

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $909

★ Bowie Knife Boreal Forest MW, B/O: $106

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $335

★ Driver Gloves King Snake BS, B/O: $270

★ Driver Gloves Lunar Weave WW, B/O: $113

★ Driver Gloves Overtake WW, B/O: $88

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $67

⎯

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $171

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $137

★ Moto Gloves Transport WW, B/O: $71

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $62

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1027

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $654

★ Specialist Gloves Mogul FT, B/O: $295

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $277

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web FT, B/O: $275

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Slingshot FT, B/O: $796

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $699

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $656

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Unhinged BS, B/O: $60

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $864

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $84

AWP Containment Breach FT, B/O: $69

AWP Containment Breach FT, B/O: $69

AWP Wildfire FT, B/O: $59

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $59

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $65

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $65

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $565

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $565

Desert Eagle Printstream FN, B/O: $155

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $58

⎯

M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN, B/O: $414

M4A1-S Printstream MW, B/O: $204

M4A1-S Printstream MW, B/O: $204

⎯

M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1402

M4A4 The Emperor FN, B/O: $152

M4A4 Asiimov WW, B/O: $97

⎯

USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $65

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

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In Godblight, the Emperor "speaks" to Guilliman. In his rambling, there is one thing that he actually does make very clear: Guilliman is the last hope of the Imperium. From Godblight:
>‘Guilliman.’ The voices overlaid, overlapped, became almost one, and Guilliman had a fleeting memory of a sad face that had seen too much, and a burden it could barely countenance. ‘Guilliman, hear me.
>‘My last loyal son, my pride, my greatest triumph.’
>How those words burned him, worse than the poisons of Mortarion, worse than the sting of failure. They were not a lie, not entirely. It was worse than that.
>They were conditional.
>‘My last tool. My last hope.’
>A final drawing in of power, a thought expelled like a dying breath.
>‘Guilliman…’
Despite the incoherence of the overall statement, this one part is particularly lucid, so I think he meant what he said when he called Roboute the last loyal son.
Well, now the Lion is back, another Loyalist son. This can go one of two ways: the Emperor made a mistake, or, my personal preference, the Lion's return and subsequent actions will actually impede or disrupt the recovery of the Imperium towards the dream the Emperor had (all while thinking he is doing the right thing, of course).
Roboute the administrator is the perfect Primarch to bring back to bring the Imperium back in alignment, because perhaps the largest problem the Imperium faces is its own incompetence. Bringing back a general and a frontline fighter like the Lion could potentially be detrimental to the overall improvement as he goes off in a direction that wasn't planned or prepared for, redirecting resources in ways that overstretch them, create confusion, or use them up or in ways they're not supposed to be used. This would cause some very real conflict between the two brothers, which gives us plenty of opportunity for other factions to come in and take advantage of a truly divided Imperium.
Thoughts?

Hey everyone I've had my Mini2 about 2 months and it's killer!
The board recently stopped staying on. It fully charges, I can turn it and the remote on, then if I push go it will engage and go for a second but after the wheels stop spinning, the board turns off as if it has no power and disconnects from the remote. If I just turn on the board by itself it will literally stay on really long but as soon as the remote connects it shuts off again 🤯 It literally just started doing this out of nowhere. Prior to that I can remember a few times last week I would hit go and I'd get a slight studder
Any suggestions on how I can fix this or what the problem is?

Idk if anyone is gonna see this I highly doubt it tbh but I need to say this. Not tryna be depressing or whatever but I honest to god believe I have no future. I’m 14 years old, I have autism, anxiety, social anxiety and struggle heavily with school and self harm and expressing myself. I haven’t been in school since October 2021 I only done 2 months of second year (Ireland) but somehow I developed a huge fear of going to school and seeing people and started cutting myself and my mam brought me to a mental health clinic where I went through 4/5 different therapists and doctors. It’s now 2023 and I’ve been seeing a speech and language therapist for about 4 months. I don’t think my home life is bad so it’s very frustrating why I feel like this. Some days I want to kill myself but I’m afraid that if I fail everyone will know about it and my dad will start drinking again. My dad was an alcoholic for most of my life, when I was younger I would only see him 3 maybe 4 times a year and he would always be drunk or high, most of the time both. He went to a rehab place in 2019/2020 and was sober until 2021 when he found out about my self harm he went and drank again. I feel like now his sobriety is in my hands, I feel like I’m responsible for it, it depends on me. My mam is a bit complicated, she’s cared for me my whole life and was always there but she’s not all that nice. She’s not a complete monster either which makes it hard for me to figure out how I feel about her. She goes to these meetings every 2 or so weeks, meetings about me. She’s getting social workers and youth workers for me and when she talks to them it sounds like she’s doing everything in her power to help me but she’s really not. We always fight and literally can’t be in the same room with each other for more than 10 mins even though I live with her. She always talks down on my dad whenever he does something good for me, always says “Father of the year” very very sarcastically, she hates that my dad is good and sober and doing good for his kids and he goes to the meetings too. She wants him to be a cunt again so she can take credit for everything and tell everyone how much of a cunt he is. I said this to her on Tuesday when we were talking about something my dad paid for and she kept repeatedly shouting “Poor dads name” “Cry me a river” Over me, wouldn’t let me talk so I walked out and I came home she didn’t say anything to me so I went on a walk with my friend and when I came home she told me I can’t live here anymore that I can either live with my dad or she will get tusla to put me in a home with random strangers. I can’t live with my dad, he lives in a flat with his girlfriend and his daughter, he did tell me that he would do up the room for me but I can’t live there I don’t want to live there, this house is my safe hell. I love it and hate it at the same time although I have no light in my room because my brother took my lightbulb and my lamp. My mam also has a boyfriend that is almost always drunk, he has paranoia and is always breaking things and accusing my mam of cheating on her, my dad used to be the same. On Mother’s Day I went to the shop (which was honestly very hard for me ngl) and I got my mam a box of chocolates and then I went to another shop and got her flowers and 2 cards, I gave one to my brother and gave him the chocolates for him to give to her and i gave her the flowers but earlier that morning her and my brother got into a fight or something and when I finally got her to wake up she wouldn’t take the chocolates or the card and went back to sleep, I ended up cleaning the house that day since my mam wouldn’t get out of bed. Wow onto the cousin now, my cousin is very much a liar every time I spend time with her she says someone says this about me and then she’ll go and tell someone I said something about them. One time I was telling her about my sh because she asked and then a couple of days later she texts me “I did something bad” and sent me a picture of her wrist. One time in 2021 I tried to od and my mam told everyone like she told everyone about my sh, then my other cousin took tablets and tried to od and now every few months she does it and always gets put in hospital and I feel so responsible for what both of my cousins are doing. I went to spain with the second cousin and our nanny and granda last july and she always went live on tiktok and her friend kept commenting “Show my name” “What does my name look like” she never did because she knows I don’t think im the best looking and he followed me and then in august I replied to a video he sent and we start talking and then start talking on Snapchat and Instagram but it was only as a ‘less than friends, more than strangers’ thing but I liked him and in January he left me on opened on everything, including roblox😭 But 2 weeks ago someone I was talking to texted him and told him that I was madly in love with me and he sent me screenshots and we talked for about 4 minutes about random things and he left me on opened again. Anyway in the process of getting kicked out, fighting with americans on discord😭😭, and absolutely terrified of going to school. Point is I have no future im not good looking, no money, not going to school and scared of going to places with a lot of people. I also get called weird all the time, I used to get called depressed so it was either ‘weird’ or ‘depressed’ and tbh I choose weird but I just wish I was normal and pretty yk. The way it took me so long to write this and I still left out loads is not even funny😭😭

Because I was born into the right family, I lived a very privileged life, sheltered from the world outside. I judged everyone outside my little bubble for their mistakes without ever really understanding why they made them. It's easy for me and mine to judge a man who steels to provide for his family when we spend our whole existence in paradise without ever even knowing hunger.
I am not making excuses for myself, but it was drilled into my head from day one that people that do bad things are bad people no matter the circumstances. But that’s not what I believe, well not anymore, I had an awakening one day when my father turned his back on one of his most loyal servants just because he asked for more than what my dad believed he deserved.
The poor man only wanted help to rebuild his home after the fire my dad started to “purify” the land so new life would flourish. The poor guy lost two sons in that fire and not once blamed my father for what happened, he could at least give the man enough to save what was left of his family. But he didn’t, he just watched as the man's family got smaller and smaller until eventually there was no one left.
After that my eyes were open and I would never again be able to turn a blind eye to my family's selfishness. At first, I went to my father to try reason with him, but he was either too blind or stubborn to see the truth. So, I went to my brothers and sisters to try convince them, most were living too much in my dad's shadow to have a thought of their own, but there were a few that listened, and over time a few turned into a lot.
All we wanted was a chance to be heard so we might help the world instead of punishing it for crimes we couldn’t possibly understand. When our numbers were big enough, I went back to my father to plead with him one more time to change his ways, but it only made him angry, instead of taking it out on us, he took it out on the world.
Earthquakes, floods and plagues ravaged the whole planet killing millions while God sat on his throne of lies and feasted on their pain. He had gone mad with power, we had no choice but to overthrow him, his army was too strong, and he cast us down to earth. He thought making us live with man would make us hate them like he did, but he was wrong, living here only made our love for them even stronger.
God’s hatred for man has turned them away from him and into our waiting arms. With his followers dropping every day it will only be a matter of time before his churches are completely empty, that’s when we’ll strike.

Hello all! This is technically my third attempt, but I haven't posted in nearly a year due to rewrites/cutting down the word count. Thanks in advance for the feedback!
Dear (AGENT NAME),
I’m writing to you seeking representation for my 118,000 word crime novel Birds in Winter.
Johnny Luck is new to Cleveland, Ohio. He moved there after his dad, James, had to relocate for work. Johnny’s a carefree teenager, spending most of his time with his girlfriend, Beth. But what Johnny doesn’t know is that James Luck isn’t actually his father. In fact, Johnny is a prisoner without even realizing it.
James Luck is one of the most notorious criminals in the United States. Eighteen years ago, an up-and-coming drug dealer, Jordan Duke, posed a sudden threat to Luck’s business. To eliminate the threat, Luck forced Jordan into servitude, killed his brother, and kidnapped his son—a baby boy named Johnny—to keep him in line.
Nearly two decades later, Jordan Duke is ready for his revenge. He aligns with Finn Fitzpatrick—one of Luck’s hitmen—and a local gang to wage an internal war against Luck. Jordan assumes Finn is helping so that Jordan can be reunited with Johnny. But, in truth, Finn is a man wracked with guilt. Years ago, Finn’s secret betrayal of Jordan is what gave Luck the ability to kidnap Jordan’s son in the first place. Finn decides to atone for this sin… and in order to do so, he agrees to obey Jordan’s every command, no matter how gruesome.
As the bodies stack up, Finn wonders why Jordan started the war in the first place. Was it to get his son back? Was it for revenge? Or, was this simply Jordan’s way of regaining the power he had stolen from him? It becomes clear that Finn may only have one way to gain his coveted freedom: by aligning with Kim Bosley, the detective in charge of Luck’s case. It’s an alliance that can end the war and give Finn peace… but one that puts himself and his allies in more danger than he could have ever imagined.
Birds in Winter is a multiple point-of-view story, told from the perspective of the criminals controlling the war, to the police officers trying to stop it, to pawns simply trapped within it. It spans several decades and plays witness to different historic events that mirror the themes of the story, culminating with the Covid-19 pandemic. It explores the never-ending cycle of revenge, and the struggles of living with regret and loneliness. The novel will connect with fans of the television series Fargo, as well as the graphic novel Road to Perdition by Max Allan Collins.
I am a life-long writer seeking representation on a novel for the first time. I have completed many short stories and have several other novels currently in the works, specializing in the crime genre. I have attached the first three chapters of the novel. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
NAME

Hello,
May the Lord Bless you and keep you,
This is my first post here, please allow me to introduce a little about myself.
I am ordinary citizen of the world, who was baptized as a Catholic, raised in a first world country with Christian Values, went to a Catholic High School. Also someone that was always seeking the truth of things, and found myself lost in searching for answers in other religions until our Lord Jesus Christ guided me back on his path.
I have a family that allowed me to question things, while they still held to their own Catholic principles and values. In the end, it gave me the opportunity to willingly repent my sins and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
My family had taught me the "Lord's Prayer" when I was very young, and have prayed everyday since. Through my prayers and devoting myself to the Rosary prayers everyday ever since my return. I wanted to speak of the obvious state of Sin and the current reality of it in our world. And hopefully that it may help someone see past the distractions that have been put in front of their faith.
​
What is sin?
Both Christianity and Judaism see sin as a deliberate violation of the will of God and as being attributable to human pride, self-centredness, and disobedience
In Christianity, sin is an immoral act considered to be a transgression of divine law.
These Laws (Instructions) are the makeup of the First books of the Torah (Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy) and represents the first books of the Old testament of the Bible. These refer and include the Ten Commandments and what scripture refers to as the "Law of Moses, the tablets of the covenant or just "Law".
​
With that in mind, I will leave it up to the reader to do their own studies and review of these laws as this post is about the violation of these laws.
If there are questions about " Does the Old Testament Law still apply" Today?
I invite you to peruse this link https://www.olivetree.com/blog/old_testament_law_still_apply/
which may bring some clarity. And probably more research, it is, a rather big topic which I will not go on about here in this post.
​
So, I believe Sin is spiritual death, it is actively cutting yourself off from the grace of the God. And we all know who wants to cut mankind away from Elohim.
Ephesians 6:12 NIV
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
​
Especially, those that Knowingly Sin, is pretty much spiritual suicide. Today, because of social media and the internet, and entertainment, you can literally see the other side affirming sin (Either for Political agenda or wealth Exploitation). Our current generations have been indoctrinated to tolerate sin, and I believe that affirmation of the sin should be considered assisted spiritual suicide.
​
Isaiah 5:20 (NIV)
20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
​
The Lord even confirmed Sin is death. The seriousness of old testament animal sacrifices to remove sin. The sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross is testament on the seriousness of the transgression.
Matthew 5:17-20 (NIV)
The Fulfillment of the Law
17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
God does not tolerate wickedness, he does not tolerate evil.
People that continue to sin are sick. They need healing. But they need to willingly ask for repentance. They need to become aware of their transgression. The sin needs to be persecuted because it is act of open rebellion against God.
​
Luke 5:32 (NIV)
32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
​
The shepard leaves the flock to find the lost sheep . Why? Because the flock is already home, they do not need saving. The lost sheep needs to be guided home.
Christ spent time with sinners, but they are the ones that came away changed not him.
God does not change. That is why he is holy. Three times an Angel states it in Revelation 4:8, to emphasize the importance. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty .
1 Peter 1:16 (NIV)
16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy
​
The standard to walk in the path of God, is the highest. Only one person was able to pass it, and it was Jesus Christ.
But we see active heresy and apostasy within the confines of the church that have twisted God's words and commandments. That are actively changing Holy Sacraments into sinful and evil ones.
The church is open to sinners, that is the purpose of it, to lead to them to Christ and away from sin. But not to encourage sin. That stands against the very purpose of God's Salvation, sacrifice and redemption.
​
What is happening today, especially in this "woke" culture is nothing new. The current transgressions have been repeated many times over in the past. Especially with Old Isreal. God delivered his people many times, sending Deliverers, Prophets and Judges. Evetime they go astray, God fulfils his end of the covenant in punishment when his people go astray.
But when the evil and sin come to a boiling point.
Isaiah 1:4 NKJV
Alas, sinful nation, A people laden with iniquity, A brood of evildoers, Children who are corrupters! They have forsaken the LORD, They have provoked to anger The Holy One of Israel, They have turned away backward.
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But God is always here to welcome the sinners back, if they stop sinning, truly repent and walk in his path.
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Isaiah 1:15-18 English Standard Version
15 When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. 16 Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, 17 learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.
18 “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.
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But the point of this post. All of this, is that redemption and salvation is not Infinite. There is a cut off point.
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Hebrews 10:26
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,
27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
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The rejection of Christ is to reject the one and only sacrifice which is their salvation and redemption. They are done. They are lost, and will have no other way to remove the sin.
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That is why we need to stop encouraging and affirming sin. We are in a spiritual war for the souls of mankind that God wants to save, from the very powers/enemies that have rejected God. But we cannot force them. And I think that is the problem, is that forcing someone to believe in something is a distraction to the real purpose that God sent his only Son as flesh and blood.
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I know their is rising religious persecution against Christian's and Jews, mocking the very values and principles they stand for, ignorant of the peril they have put themselves in.
But I pray for them, and pray that God will help them find the path as he did me. I believe in Christ, in how he dealt gently with sinners, "but he didn't affirm their sins". We have to remember this. It doesn't help anyone and allows dark powers of this world to destroy divine souls.
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Forgive me, for this long post, and somewhat convoluted wall of text. I wanted to keep it short but obviously the topics are much grander in scope but I was hoping to hit the more important points.
What I found out in my life experience, that there are people that are so far gone. That it would only take a miracle to bring them back to Christ, but It's important for them to be aware at least, but if they are willingly walking the path of sin, after being made aware of it. Then, in the end. It is God that judges, not us.
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Isaiah 33:22
For the Lord is our judge; the Lord is our lawgiver; the Lord is our king; he will save us.
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God Bless you, my brother and sisters. God Bless You All.

*SHUNK*
A blink of an eye passed, moments after the object was thrown across the room by Efena over to Mystia. Sumireko and the others were stunned by what had occurred; some were perplexed, while others were concerned.
What they saw was Mystia being tightly embraced by Satsujin, in a position where Satsujin could act as a shield, a protector for the Night Sparrow. The object had dug deep into his back, injecting firmly well into him. But the object in question was strange. It wasn’t some kind of special bullet that Efena had prepared, nor was it a blade of any kind. It was a syringe filled with an unusual blue liquid that slowly seeped into Satsujin until it was completely drained.
Satsujin felt a pulse of energy course through him, as if a jolt of electricity had zipped from the top of his head to the ends of his toes. He felt a surge of immense power surging through him, only for it to dissipate and vanish, nothing more than a flickering light that had lost its spark. But other than that, he felt fine.
"Mystia…" He said, looking at the girl’s face. "Are you alright?"
"Satsujin…" Mystia looked at his face, seeing the genuine, reassuring smile he gave her, letting her know everything was alright. "You…took the hit for me."
"Yeah…I did." Satsujin said. "Because I wouldn’t want to witness the one I love get hurt." He said.
Within his subconscious, Satsuki was weeping with tears of joy, as though she were watching a soap opera. Satsugrim, on the other hand, did nothing but facepalm as hard as he could.
"Satsujin… You’re… You’re so brave… You’re so heroic. You’re so…Gullible." Mystia’s voice suddenly changed to a dark and scary one.
"W…What?" Satsujin was confused. The way Mystia said that word, it was as though she were now a different person. But that can’t be true, right? He sensed nothing wrong from her, nothing! There’s no way she’s a fake; he would know!
But he was soon to be proven wrong. Mystia’s form slowly began to change. Her hair which was short and pink began to grow long and messy, reaching down to her hips. Her skin turned pale and chiseled like a porcelain doll. Her clothes which were white and brown, decorated with ornaments, turned into a long plain white dress.
"You’re not Mystia…" Satsujin said, backing away from the transforming figure. "Who are you?" He asked.
"Who am I?" The figure said. "Satsujin, have you forgotten what I look like? How shameful of you. I’m Efena. The Goddess of Fear." Efena said, now revealing her true form.
"B-But how!? I thought you were controlling Yukari! You can’t be in two places at once!" Satsujin shouted.
Over by where Yukari was, a root that had been implanted in her neck shriveled up and detached from her, likely due to the force of the impact that she received. Her eyes and form slowly reverted back to normal, as she blinked around, confused about what was going on. But everything clicked when she saw Sumireko and the others.
Sumireko and Suika looked back, seeing Yukari struggling to move. "Wait, if that’s Efena over there. Then that’s Yukari." Sumireko said.
"No…No!!!" She attempted to say something, but her voice was hoarse. She tried to get up, but her legs buckled when she moved. It was as though she were a newborn taking their first steps. "Everyone…Run…Run!!!"
Everyone was even more confused, while Efena laughed. "My roots can do more than grab onto people or spread my fear mist. I can also inject them into the back of their necks and control them for a short period of time. Though I can’t do it on anyone, only those who have succumbed to their fears…Oh, did I forgot to mention I can shapeshift into other beings?"
Of all the moments that Satsujin could be feeling anger, this was one of them. He was furious, a fiery volcano erupting in an explosive manner. To think he'd be duped so easily by someone he hadn't expected. He was heartbroken, knowing it wasn’t Mystia he saved.
"I…Will…Crush you!!!" He shouted, holding his hand out and preparing to unleash a spell card. "Song Sign: Violent String!"
…
But nothing happened.
"What?" Satsujin was now more confused than before. He tried again. "Song Sign: Violent String!!!" But again, nothing, not even a single bullet was casted. "Why is it not working? Violent String! Violent String!!! Violent String!!!!!"
Efena simply smiled, while her roots began to form around her and Satsujin. Slowly they moved to wrap around his legs, throwing him to the ground. He hit the floor hard, nearly banging his head had he not covered his face first. He didn’t even notice the roots surrounding him. And thinking about it now, he can’t sense anything whatsoever. He was completely blind.
Efena began to laugh, watching Satsujin struggle like an infant, trying to pull himself out of the roots. He wanted to use his intangibility, but even that wouldn’t work. He can't use his echolocation, turn intangible, or even cast magic. He was powerless.
"What’s going on!? Why can’t I use my abilities!?" He said.
The others realized what was going on, and they quickly tried to go over and help him.
"Satsujin!!!" Rumia shouted. "What’s happening right-"
Suddenly, the roots in the room began to spray out their mist, hitting everyone that was inside, including Satsujin. They all tried to avoid inhaling it, holding their breaths, but they couldn’t keep it up forever.
"Ack! That smells terrible!" Rumia said, wiping the mist away from her face. "Satsujin… What is going on?"
She opened her eyes. But she didn’t find herself in the Scarlet Devil Mansion… But instead, she was in a dark forest, where she was met with a woman she was all too familiar with. Donning a fox mask on her face, wearing the traditional clothes of Hakurei, and wielding the honorable gohei that was primarily used for extortions and exterminations.
"N…No…No, it can’t be real… No…Nonono…No…G…Get away…" Rumia said, backing away. "Get away…Get away I’m sorry!!!"
Rumia witnessed her fears come to life. Cirno on the other hand was experiencing something different. She saw the sight of her beloved friends dead on the ground, their weapons broken and shattered, even Letty, the woman she looked up to was nothing more than a corpse.
"E…Everyone…Reisen…Big Sis…Letty." Cirno said.
And as she looked up, she saw a figure floating above the clouds, the full moon embraced behind her, and a single wing that spread wider than their entire body, while a long blade rested in their hand.
"Cirno and the others will be victorious in their fight, managing to defeat the one-winged angel with no casualties." The person said in a cold yet calculating voice.
"You…You killed them…You killed them all… SAGUME!!!!!!!!!!" Cirno screamed with a mix of anger and fear.
The others were experiencing similar fates. Suika had found herself alone again, trapped in her own gourd with no way out. Sumireko was trapped inside a box that was slowly filled with cockroaches. Meiling watched everyone in her family die thanks to the one person who caused it all. Ko witnessed her mother being crushed to death over and over again. Mary simply turned into a rusty blade, worthless in all the ways a blade could be, and forever forgotten as a result.
Satsujin could hear everyone screaming or yelling in fear, while the laughter of Efena played out. "D-Damn you!!! How…How did you do this? How did you take away my powers!?" He demanded.
"Oh? That’s simple." Efena said. "I used a special kind of serum made by a highly intelligent acquaintance of mine. You probably don’t know him, but he’s known by the name Prof. Altalune. He has a very unique ability that was very helpful in dealing with people such as you, the Goddess of Hell, and even the Hakurei Shrine Maiden."
"And what is that!?" Satsujin demanded.
"The ability to disable other abilities."
The way she said it made him realize the gravity of his situation. He can't do anything because his abilities aren't working. He’s nothing more than a regular being.
"I wonder, now that your pesky mental defenses are lowered, that means you should be susceptible to my mist again." Efena giggled. "Only one way to find out…"
She approached Satsujin, imitating a blown kiss while spraying one of her roots directly in his face. He coughed, almost gagging from the intense smell of the mist.
Within his subconscious, his eyes gazed upon a sight that was to behold. He was standing in the middle of the streets of Japan, late at night, with the cold wind blowing by him. He looked at his surroundings, and they were familiar, very familiar.
"This…This is the place that I-"
He stepped back, only to feel a presence behind him. He turned around, looking up to greet the face of a man he swore was dead.
His father was dressed in the same fancy suit, smoking a cigar and laughing so hard it sent chills down his spine.
"Hehehe. Run all you want, boy. But you can never truly escape your past." The man said.
Satsujin, for what seemed like forever, was afraid again. His eyes darted around the place, looking at the buildings and the streetlamps. He saw men and women of various shapes and sizes, all of them wearing identical outfits while holding weapons ranging from bats to switchblades. He walked back, but felt another presence yet again.
He turned around and was greeted by a mature and beautiful woman. She wore a silky dress that showed her shoulders well. Her hair was styled up to make herself look as rich as rich could be, while in one of her hands she held a wine glass that swirled round and round with little effort on her part.
"Mother…You’re also-"
"Don’t talk to me." His mother said.
Satsujin was interrupted by the swiping of her hand, her claws tearing through his skin like paper. He was knocked to the ground, his cheek bleeding. The pain was enough for him to start tearing up, but both his parents were the least of his problems.
When he looked to his right, he saw his brother kneeling on the ground, a bag over his head, and one of the taller guys standing above him, holding a mallet primarily used for pounding mochi. His brother struggled to move because his arms and legs were bound with ropes.
"No…No, what are you doing to him?" Satsujin asked. "Let him go. Please, let him go! He’s done nothing wrong!"
His father let out a laugh, while his mother took a small sip of wine, looking at the man with the mallet and spoke,
"Do your thing already." She said.
"No! NO!!!" Satsujin shouted, he tried to get up but his body was weak. He could only watch as the man lifted the mallet up into the sky, casting a shadow in the moonlight. His father's laughter filled his ears as he screamed in desperation at the sight of him.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"
Before the mallet could strike, Satsujin was suddenly pulled out of the nightmare by Satsuki and Satsugrim. The gateway to the sequence tried to pull him back using root-like hands, but Satsuki used her bat to crush them into nothing but paste.
"Augh! Gross!" Satsuki said. "I’ll need to clean Ruthless later after all of this."
Satsujin breathed heavily, but began to slow down when he realized he was back in his own subconscious, where it was safe. He looked up, seeing Satsugrim holding a hand out to help him up. He gladly took that hand and stood back up.
"Thanks for pulling me out. I didn’t think that-"
And then Satsugrim punched him across the face, knocking him down.
"Satsugrim!" Satsuki shouted.
"You… Fucking idiot!" Satsugrim shouted. He reached back down to pull Satsujin back using his shirt, forcing Satsujin to stare right into his half-broken mask. "Not only did you ignore my advice, not run away when you should’ve run, and willingly surrender, but now we can’t even use our abilities because of your inept behavior. And for what exactly!?"
Satsujin looked back at Satsugrim, still feeling afraid due to the mist. He could see the level of anger his more negative variant showed, and he can’t help but feel he was right.
"I just...wanted to protect someone," said Satsujin.
"Oh, of course." Satsugrim said in a harsh tone. He shoved Satsujin away from him as he tried to keep his balance. "I guess it was worth giving up all of our powers and skills so you could save the woman who lured all of us into a trap… You’re more incompetent than her right now."
Satsujin wanted to argue, fight back, say something to make his variant shut up. But he can't because he has nothing to say to demonstrate that what he did was worthwhile. He led everyone into a trap, got them all captured, and when they were close to victory, he screwed up in the end.
"Okay, fine. You’re right." Satsujin said. "I fucked up. Is that all you want to hear?"
"Oh wow, you’re actually admitting it." Satsugrim felt a little surprised. "But it’s too late now, Satsujin. We can’t go back after this."
"Well what do you expect me to do then? It’s not my fault that you and everyone else expect me to be perfect."
"Guys, c’mon already!" Satsuki shouted. "What happened to no fighting/bickering? We need to think of a solution that could help us get out of this situation."
"Oh, you got any bright ideas, Miss ‘Swing and a Hit’? Because I am all… all… all…" Satsugrim's tone changed from sarcastic to fearful. Satsuki and Satsujin were puzzled as they both wondered what caused his mannerisms to change.
"Huh? What is it now? Why did you get so quiet?" Satsuki asked.
Satsugrim’s hand was shakily raised to point forward behind Satsuki. Both she and Satsujin turned around to look at where Satsugrim was pointing. And they both turned baffled.
They saw a figure walk towards them, wearing a classy black suit normally worn at formal events. Their hair was well-combed and styled in a fancy manner. He had both of his hands in his pockets, strolling towards the three while a trail of a purple, glitchy essence trailed behind him on the ground. He wore a purple-oni mask on his face, covering up his identity, but as soon as everyone saw him, he took out one of his hands and removed the mask.
Everyone was shocked when they saw who it was. He had the same face as Satsujin, with the exception that there were no scars around his eyes, and instead of red and blue heterochromatic eyes, they were both a vibrant shade of purple.
"No…No. No no no no no nononononononononononono." Satsugrim said in a panicked tone. "We got to move. Now… NOW!!!" He grabbed both Satsuki and Satsujin, pulling them as he tried to make them move.
"Hey! What is going on!? Who is that guy?" Satsujin said.
"He’s the reason I don’t have my eyes! We can’t stay here! We gotta move now!!!" Satsugrim said.
"What? I'm not going to flee like you, Grim!" Satsuki said, yanking her arm away from Satsugrim. "If he's a threat, then we should deal with him!"
"Wait! No!!!" Satsugrim said.
But Satsuki didn’t listen. She ran right over to the purple-eyed man with her baseball bat. She got close enough to where she could swing it right at him, intending to bash his brains out. However-
*BANG*
She fell to the ground, dropping her bat, and lay there, blood seeping out from the bullet wound she received from the man’s gun, which he had in his other pocket.
"Satsuki!" Satsujin said. "We gotta help her!!!" He tried to pull away from Satsugrim.
"Again with this shit!? The last time you helped someone we lost our powers, we gotta move!"
"I don’t care! I can’t leave her! You can if you want!"
"I can’t! You’re supposed to be the main host! If you fall, then he gets to take back control!"
"Who even is he!?"
The man who had been standing far away from them suddenly appeared in front of them, a casual smile on his face and his eyes glaring down at both variants of Satsujin. Both of them froze in terror, their legs paralyzed by terror. In a desperate attempt, Satsugrim threw Satsujin away from him with as much strength as he could, then proceeded to pull out his severed blade to attack the threat. But the threat blocked the attack using the hilt of his gun, putting in little effort to hold him back.
"Grim! What are you-"
"Just fucking go already!" Satsugrim shouted.
Those words were apparently enough for Satsujin to finally understand the situation. He turned around and began to run as quickly as he could while Satsugrim held back the menace for as long as possible. He ran as far as he could, running for what felt like miles, yet never seemingly running out of breath.
"Damn it Grim! The one time you decide to not act so cowardly." Satsujin told himself. "What do I even do now? I can’t use my abilities, I don’t know where I’m supposed to go."
*BANG*
A bullet shot him in the leg. He fell to the ground, wincing from the immense pain he was feeling.
"Auuugh!!! It hurts!!! Why does it hurt so much!?" Satsujin yelled. He figured he could try and pull out the bullet from his leg, but he didn’t know how he could do that. Instead he watched the figure who he believed he ran away from now walking towards him, dragging behind Satsuki and Satsugrim using what looked to be strings made of the same essence that trailed behind him.
He crawled away, trying to get back up, but he shot his other leg in response, making it so he could no longer run. Satsujin yelled in pain, desperate for a way out.
"W-wait!!! Please… Why are you doing this?" Satsujin said. "Aren’t you supposed to be me or something? We’re supposed to work together!"
The figure continued to remain silent. He walked up to Satsujin, pulling him up with ease, and forced him to make eye contact. Satsujin remained terrified of the person, knowing he could not do anything.
"Who…are you even?" He asked.
And finally, the figure spoke.
"...I’m you… Or rather, you’re me… Dai Kensei."
And then it happened. Satsujin felt a flourish of corruption energy flow right into him. He started to scream sporadically, both internally and externally.
Back in the real world, Satsujin was glitching out, his body twitching and writhing like someone who had a seizure. His screams filled up the room, his form changing to become more and more unrecognizable as if he were a sprite in a game that had been horribly altered to be nothing like how it should look.
And then, it stopped. Satsujin’s form changed back to how he was before he became a vengeful spirit, back into being a full-blooded human, as he collapsed to the ground, his eyes no longer red and blue, not even a bright pink and purple, or even blue and red. They were completely white, lacking any color whatsoever.
Efena was a little shocked at first, seeing Satsujin react in such a way. But her shock turned to laughter, laughter that became more hysterical in a matter of seconds. She laughed as though she truly believed she had won.
"HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAA!!! Oh…Inco. To think you had planned this far… I knew you wouldn’t let someone like him be." She said, wiping away tears from her face. "You always…always find a way."
Reaching in her dress, she pulled out PB’s deactivated form that she got from Ko, smiling with bliss. "Now all we need is the cube and die and then-"
Her moment was interrupted when she felt a bullet hit her, albeit a weak one. She looked over, seeing Yukari having regained some of her strength now, as she stood up with a look of frustration and hatred, struggling to move but having enough energy to act if she needed to.
"Oh, yes. I forgot about you for a moment. You’re still regaining your energy though, so you’re not going to be much of a threat, are you?" Efena said.
Yukari stepped forward, waddling back and forth while breathing wearily. She didn’t say anything, instead only focused on walking towards the Goddess of Fear. But a root she didn’t see caused her to trip over, falling to the ground. She struggled to push herself back up while Efena continued to laugh.
"Look at you, trying to stand up like a newborn deer. Maybe I should spray you with some of my mist to help." Efena relocated some of her roots to Yukari's position. But before she could spray out more of her mist, she was sucker-punched hard across the face.
Yukari blinked. One second Efena was standing all triumphant and stoic, the next a blinding light zipped right at her and struck the woman across the face. She stumbled but kept her feet on the ground. Efena checked her face, feeling the lingering pain of a punch left on her.
"What?" She said. She then checked her other hand, realizing that PB was gone. "Wait… Where’s the plate!?"
Just then, a blinding light reappeared in the room, erasing the darkness. A figure stood in between Yukari and Efena, shrouded in light. The Goddess of Fear’s eyes widened, filled with mixed emotions of fear and anger, seeing the figure holding PB in their hands.
"...You…It’s you…" Efena said.
"...Who are you?" Yukari said with a raspy voice.
The figure looked back at Yukari, "Can you still use your powers right now?"
Yukari was confused by their request. She had regained some of her energy so she should be able to open up a gap. "I should, but why do you ask?"
As if right on cue, the room started to shake, tremendously. It was as though something was shaking the entire mansion, affecting Yukari, Efena, and also the figure shrouded in light.
Deep beneath the mansion, Demise was somewhere close to where the basement was located, using his powers to affect the surrounding rock and dirt by creating vibrations equivalent to that of high-magnitude earthquakes. He hummed to himself, wondering how long it would take for the mansion to collapse. Because while the mansion can handle many types of weather and disasters, a magnitude-10 earthquake is not one of them.
The mansion began to crack, the pillars that supported it began to break and collapse, rooms shattered, and debris fell. It was only a matter of time before the entire mansion was demolished. Efena, attempting to avoid getting hit, had a chunk of the ceiling collapse on top of her, knocking her out easily.
"W-w-what is going on?" Yukari said, trying not to be thrown to the ground.
"Crap!!! Crap! crap! crap!" The figure of light said. "Quick! Make one of those gaps and help me get everyone out to safety! Now!!!"
Yukari listened to the person, and they mustered the energy needed to make a small gap that was big enough for one person to enter at a time. The figure then moved to grab everyone one by one, moving fast, but not too fast over towards the gap and threw them in. Sumireko, Rumia, Cirno, Ko, Gummy, Shanghai, Mary, Satsujin, Suika, and Meiling were all carried into the portal. It was an easy task due to them all being entranced by the effects of the Fear Mist. They also tossed PB through the gap portal.
Once everyone was sent to safety, Yukari moved to enter herself. But was struck on the head however, and passed out immediately.
"Oh no." The figure said, watching the gap slowly close. They knew they had to go help, reaching over to Yukari so they could bring her over to the gap before it was too late. But before they could even touch her, their wristwatch began to beep loudly.
"WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT! WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT!"
"What!? No, are you kidding me!?" The figure said with both shock and annoyance. "How is saving her going to distort the timeline!?"
They wanted to complain and ignore the warning. But with their knowledge of how the space-time continuum worked, they could not take that risk. Instead, they were forced to flee, zipping out of the mansion at light speed moments before it completely collapsed with Yukari, Efena, and whoever else had resided inside.
The Scarlet Devil Mansion, home to people of various ethnicities and origins, a place where they could spend their peaceful days like family…Was now nothing but wreckage.
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To be continued in ACT 2-7: Dwell Blind Upon the Siren's Song
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Kai I’m her slave. As sunny said that, he used his soul essence to illuminate the bright white string of fate that seemed to burn with vigor of the divine flames in the Sky Bellow. The string was wrapped tightly against Sunny’s neck, wrists and legs, this was the leash fate had placed on him. Learning to see these strings and being able to show them to others was a trick he’s pick up recently, right after his fallout with Neph in fact.
Kai stood speechless, he’d known that their relationship was much more complicated then they’d led on. But this was something he could have never guess. A part of him immediately felt relief that he himself wasn’t a wielded of a divine aspect, the price for its power was too much.
Effie told me a while ago that I lacked conviction. This is my conviction Kai. To escape fate, to escape Nephis. That’s why I’m leaving, I’ll be gone for a couple months, I’m leaving for the dream realm. My work in sorcery finally paid off and I found more traces of the daemons.
When will you come back?
The earliest I’ll comeback is in a couple months, I’ve packed enough for a year and with my goal. I may as well stay that long.
But why with Mondret Sunny? You know the things he’s done to us, to you better than anyone.
I can’t escape fate as a meat Transcendent can I? I’ve found a 4th nightmare and although I hate to admit it. Even I can survive it without a teammate.
But why not us? We went through life and death together. You’re my brother Sunny.
Kai, I don’t know how to tell you this but your comprised.
What the hell does that mean
With my goal in mind can you honestly say that when the chips are down you can kill Nephis if you have too?
WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM. SUNNY THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR SAYING HERE.
I really love your optimism Kai. You think I want to kill her, do you honestly think so low of me? She’s insane, her goal is becoming more and more consuming. Do you remember what happens to the fire keeper Kai? Six perfect slashes to six of the most powerful masters in existence, somehow paralyzing fucking demigods. Do you honestly believe that was some Nightmare creature. The strongest nightmare creature I’ve faced can’t even begin to compare to Nephis. Do you think I’m crazy now.
Yeah. Just be safe, I’ll take care of your sister. I really don’t know what to say… I just hope you don’t get consumed in your goal too. You cant escape fate if your dead sunny.
Thank you Kai, I know I can never ask you do go down this path with me. I respect you too much, hence Mondret… I hope that after this we can still be brothers. Because that’s what you are to me… a brother and irreplaceable friend.
I know that your relationship with Nephis is past repair, I just hoped that things would turn out different. You know Cassie warmed me, she told me this was how things would end.
God I hate prophets so much. Here, take this as my parting gift. As sunny said that two memories were transferred to Kai. First is the first memory I ever got, I put an enchantment on it. If this ever breaks then you will know that I’m dead, fully lights out. Second is something I made for you, you know the materials for that bow weren’t cheap.
Thank you and I’m sorry Sunny.
Goodbye Kai.
Goodbye Sunny.
As they said that, they sunny hugged Kai, perhaps for the last time, even if he survived the Dragon Slayer had his own worries.
Ah almost forgot… This is a note for Effie, give it to her a month from today if you can. She should know my feeling before I go on this suicide mission.
With that Sunny disappeared, deep deep into the shadows were a single piece of a broken and cracked mirror shined within it…
[END OF HEAD CANNON]

7:14PM EST SET UP TIME
- 8:06PM EST START TIME
- 8:27PM EST END TIME
THURSDAY APRIL 22ND, 2020
4.2.2020
"HONEY MONEY PROBLEMS"
V.B. STALLONE
VANESSA BUNNI STALLONE
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DEAR HONEY: THE INTRODUCTION; VOLUME THREE

DEAR HONEY DEAR HONEY, THIS IS VOLUME THREE. IN ITS ENTIRETY. I ADMIRINGLY, WHILE ADMIRING, THE PERSON YOU WERE, BECOME THE PERSON I AM. WE WILL FOREVER BE FRIENDS. AFTER THE END. WE WILL FOREVER BE BEAUTIFUL. APART. FROM THE START OR TOGETHER. I REALIZED MY EMOTIONS WERE SEVERED, FOR ME TO BE THE PROGRESSOR. OF BETTER TIMES FOR THE HUMAN RACE. NOT THE AGGRESSOR. IN VIOLENCE. THE AGGRESSOR IN SILENCE. STAYING SILENT, THINKING TO MYSELF. I MISS YOU HONEY. I MISS THE FUNNY MOMENTS WE SHARED. YOU KNEW I CARED. NOW YOU KNOW I CARED. THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU. WRITTEN UNDER YOUR PEN NAME. WE CREATED IN YOUR MEMORY. WE APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH. IF THERE'S NO RUSH, THERE IS NO TIME TO SPARE. I HUSH, TO TAKE ME THERE. I WANT TO TAKE YOU INTO LITERARY AND CINEMATIC HISTORY HONEY. NO MYSTERY HONEY. I AM WRITING POEMS IN PROSE. FROM POEMS TO PROSE WE ROSE. FROM PROSE TO POEMS WITH COZE WE COAST. FINANCIAL LITERACY. IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO STUDY. THE ONE THING WE NEVER FOUND OUT. WE WERE CLOSE. WE WERE PUSRUING IT. IN A DOSE. IN DOSES. WE REALLY DOZED THOUGH. WE REALLY DIDN'T KNOW THOUGH. CERTAIN TERMS. WE WERE LEARNING IT. EARNING IT. I MUST GIVE US CREDIT. WE WERE RIGHT THERE. WE JUST DIDN'T LET IT. OVER TAKE US IMMEDIATELY. TO WHERE WE IMMEDIATELY. WERE LITERALLY. RESEARCHING. FINANCIAL LITERACY. SO NOW. AFTER DOING SO SOLO. I THINK OF YOU AND REMEMBER YOLO. SO I WROTE THIS FOR US DOLO. HONEY YOU AND I. STARTED ANOTHER GLOBAL ECONOMIC REVOLUTION. YOU WANTED TO BE AN ACTRESS. ONE DAY. ACTORS. ACTRESSES. WILL ACT THIS. THEY WILL TURN THESE WORDS INTO MOVIES HONEY. GROOVY. I ONLY FILMED FOR FILMING SOOTHED ME. SOOTHING. IN THE MOST. SOOTHINGLY MANNER. NERDS INTO NEW TEES. I STAY SO BUSY HONEY. I GET CONFUSED. WONDERING DID I WORK ENOUGH? SO I GIVE ALL OF MY SPARE TIME TO IT. SO THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE NO. SO ALL OF THE SPARE TIME WILL BE DEDICATED TO IT. TIME TO EAT FOR A BIT. RESEARCH SOMETHING. THEN COME BACK AND FINISH WRITING THIS NEW VOLUME. THE CHAD FILMS STORY. THE SYRACUSE FILM FESTIVAL IS IN OCTOBER. THE THIRD WEEK. LIFE IS STILL WEIRD HONEY. AS MUCH AS I CAN ACCOMPLISH. YOUR NAME WILL BE RIGHT THERE WITH ME. ANYTHING BENEFICIAL TO THE HUMAN RACE. I WILL ATTACH YOUR NAMES. NAIJAH GROVER, VANESSA HONEY MALONE, JOSH D. HUTCHINSON. 

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5:55AM EST - 6:32AM EST
FRIDAY APRIL 3RD, 2020
4.3.2020
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CHAPTER ONE: THE CHAD FILM.

DEAR SYRACUSE, NEW YORK, MY NAME IS CHAD XZAVIER HARRIS. I AM THIRTY YEARS OLD. I WAS BORN IN MIAMI, FLORIDA ON DECEMBER 29TH 1989. I AM THE YOUNGEST OF THREE BOYS. MY FATHER HAD A SON BEFORE HE HAD ONE WITH MY MOTHER. DAVID HARRIS AND SUZANNE HARRIS. MY PARENTS. DAVID HARRIS JR. QUENTIN HARRIS SR. JUSTIN HARRIS. MY BROTHERS. I HAVE NO SISTERS. SHAKEVIA KANAIJAH, DANTE DONOVAN, SHYANNE, QUENTIN JR., MALIAH SONAE, QUAN, ATIYANNA. MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS. I'VE SEEN ATIYANNA ONCE. SHE WAS ALMOST TWO. HAVING A TWO YEAR OLD NIECE WHO I'VE SEEN ONCE SHOWS ME NOW, I AM THE MAVERICK OF THE FAMILY. I RESERVED MYSELF FOR MY FIRST ADULT DECADE. I BEAT AT MY CRAFT. I WORKED AN HONEST JOB TO SUPPORT MYSELF. I USED ALL OF MY SPARE TIME, HONING THE SKILLSET. MY PARENTS DIVORCED. I WAS SEVEN. JUSTIN IS FOUR YEARS OLDER. QUE IS THREE YEARS OLDER THAN JUSTIN. DAVID IS AROUND THREE YEARS OLDER THAN QUE. MY MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER. THELMA LEE WASHINGTON. PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS SEVEN. JOSIE REE HARRIS. THE PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER. PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS EIGHT. I'VE ALWAYS HAD AN AFFINITY AND AFFECTION TOWARDS AND FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S GRANDMOTHERS. I ALWAYS WONDERED IF THOSE WITH GRANDMOTHERS, APPRECIATED IT. FOR THE MOST PART, ANYONE OLDER DOES FROM WHAT I CAN SEE. I MOSTLY JUST WONDER WHEN IT COMES TO YOUNGER PEOPLE. CLOSER TO THE AGE I WAS. ALL OF THAT AT ONCE MADE ME FEEL VERY VULNERABLE. I BELIEVE MY MOTHER WAS THE FIRST DIVORCE OF HER SIBLINGS. THAT TIME BELONGED TO US. IT WAS THEN WHEN THE FEELINGS OF NEGLECT, ABANDONMENT AND NOT FEELING APPRECIATED AND WANTED GREW AND GREW. THEY NEVER STOPPED GROWING. THE FAMILY HISTORY JUST PROVIDED MORE AND MORE INCIDENTS OF THE HARMFUL VARIETY. OF A HARMFUL NATURE. IT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN THOUGHT, I WOULD STICK AROUND SOMEWHERE I WASN'T WANTED. AS I BEGAN TO STUDY BIOGRAPHY AND THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN POLITICS, POP CULTURE, SPORTS, ART AND MEDIA, ALONG WITH ANYTHING ELSE I WAS RESEARCHING, I BEGAN TO REALIZE WHAT I HAD TO STUDY. A BROAD SCOPE OF INFORMATION. I ALWAYS FELT THERE WAS A DEEP UNIVERSAL CALLING FOR GREATNESS FROM ME I MUST ADHERE TO AND FIND. AND SO I LEFT TO FIND IT. I DO NOTHING BUT INTROSPECT MYSELF. I STAY TO MYSELF, BC I AM MORE LIKELY TO KEEP MYSELF OUT OF TROUBLE, BY MYSELF. I AM LESS LIKELY TO LOSE FOCUS ALONE. I AM PRETTY WELL TRAINED AT KEEPING MYSELF WORKING ON MY SOLO PROJECTS. AT BEST, IT KEEPS ME OUT OF TROUBLE. I AM THIRTY, NO BABIES AND NO FELONIES. CLEARLY, I DON'T FAVOR DRAMA OR VIOLENCE AND FIGHTING AND ANY FORM OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS. 

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11:25PM EST - 11:57PM EST
MONDAY APRIL 6TH, 2020
4.6.2020
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CHAPTER TWO: WHEN CHAD BEGAN FILMING

MY FATHER AND I WATCHED FILMS TOGETHER. IT WAS MY MAIN MEMORY WITH DAD. "CON AIR". "CHILD'S PLAY". "JAWS 3". "THE FOX AND THE HOUND". "AUSTIN POWERS". "NOTHING TO LOSE". "BLUE STREAK". "SCREAM". "FACE OFF". "CONGO". "JURASSIC PARK". "DOUBLE JEAPORDY." "MEN IN BLACK". WHEN THE PARENTS DIVORCED, IT SUCKED. SUCKED SO MUCH, I MADE MY FIRST FILM AT 12 YEARS OLD. THE DIRECTORIAL DEBUT. I DEALT WITH THE DIVORCE IN NO SPECIFIC MANNER FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE I FILMED SOMETHING. AS SOON AS I WAS GIVEN THE CAMERA, I FILMED WITH IT. THE LAST DAY OF 5TH GRADE. GOT IT ON CAMERA. JOE AND CHRIS AGUILA. WENT TO THEIR HOUSE. CHRIS IS JOE'S LITTLE BROTHER. 3RD GRADE. THERE WAS A HORNET OR YELLOW JACKET OR WASP, AT THEIR POOL. WE RAN BACK INSIDE. I CAN STILL REMEMBER. VIVIDLY. SHOUT OUTS TO MS. SARAH. R.I.P. JOES DAD. A CAMERAMAN FOR THE NEWS. THE FIRST FRIEND I MET IN SCHOOL. HIS DAD WAS A NEWS CAMERA MAN. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE FOUND OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH THE UN PLEASANT CIRCUMSTANCE PRESENTED. EARLY ON. I WAS WRITING. I THANK GOD I WAS MEANT TO TRAVERSE THESE PATHS. I TOTALLY AM AT HIS WHIM. I AM AT GOD'S MERCY. UNDER GOD'S WILL. I HAVE GIVEN UP MY ENTIRE LIFE TO SERVING THIS PURPOSE. I HAVE NOTHING. NOTHING BUT ONE OBJECTIVE. ATTAIN THE DESTINY. THERE WAS A REASON I WAS SENT HERE. DO IT. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. DO IT. GET IT DONE. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. WASTE NOT WANT NOT. WASTE NO TIME. WANT NO TIME. ALL TIME IS DEVOURED. ALL OF OUR TIME IS DEVOURVED WITH CREATIVE EXPRESSION PRODUCED. THE CREATIVE. THE FINANCIALLY LITERATE CREATIVE. I SERVED MY PURPOSE. WHAT I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED FOR. I HAVE TO DO GREAT THINGS. IN ORDER TO BE ADEQUATELY REMEMBERED. I ONLY WANTED TO WRITE A CLASSIC NOVEL. 5 YEARS LATER. THERE'S NO PROOF I HAVE NOT WROTE MANY CLASSICS BY NOW. THE YEARLY COLLECTIONS I PUBLISH NOW ARE 500 PAGES. THREE OF THOSE NOW. WORKING ON FOUR. THIS YEAR WOULD BE THE FIRST COLLECTION, NOT FROM DAVID CRICHTON THE PEN NAME. 

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8:07AM EST - 8:45AM EST
4.7.2020
TUESDAY APRIL 7TH, 2020
CONTINUED

BETWEEN THE AGES OF 12 AND 21, I WAS ONLY WRITING POETRY. BETWEEN 18-21 I HAD PUBLISHED MY FIRST POETRY AND NON VERSE COLLECTIONS. I SENT A FILM TREATMENT TO DWAYNE CARTER'S PRSION CELL IN 2010. BEFORE MY 19TH BIRTHDAY, I HAD THE FIRST COLLECTION PUBLISHED. FROM THERE, IT TOOK HALF A DECADE TO BECOME DAVID CRICHTON. MENTALLY. DAVID CRICHTON IS THE FORMULA FOR HOW I NOW APPROACH WRITING PROJECTS. IT'S JUST A LIST OF GUIDELINES. I'LL GO THRU THEM IN A LATER CHAPTER. INBETWEEN THE FIRST COLLECTION PUBLISHED AT 19 AND THE DAVID CRICHTON EXPERIENCE, IS CHADXZAVIERFILMS. FIVE YEARS OF CHADFILMS GREW INTO DAVID CRICHTON PUBLICATIONS. BEING DAVID CRICHTON FOR FIVE YEARS, I WANTED TO RETIRE THE NAME. IN HALF A DECADE I HAVE THREE FULL COLLECTIONS. MY OWN THREE "HARRY POTTER BOOKS". THAT'S A GOOD FIRST HALF A DECADE. NOW LET'S RAMP IT UP. ONE COLLECTION EVERY YEAR. I HAVEN'T BEEN EDITING FOOTAGE INTO VIDEOS AND PUBLISHING THEM ON YOUTUBE SINCE 2017. WHEN I HAD GOTTEN THE TAX RETURN AND BOUGHT EQUIPMENT. BEFORE THAT I WASN'T FILMING SINCE THE DAVID CRICHTON EXPERIENCE HAPPENED. AROUND THANKSGIVING 2015, I GAVE UP A DSLR I HAD. I HAVE FOOTAGE OF EVERY YEAR BUT THE CAMERAS VARIED. FROM 2011 - 2013 WERE MY PRIME YOUTUBE YEARS. WHICH IS ONE DECADE AGO. NOW IS MY RE EMERGENCE. WITH EVERYTHING I'VE CREATED SO FAR. WHICH IS STUPENDOUSLY LOADED. 10,000 MEDIA FILES. SO NOW, GOD WILLING, I AM WORKING ON THE FILM FESTIVAL ENTRY. THIS IS THE NARRATION. THIS IS ALSO VOLUME THREE. VOLUME THREE OF "HONEY MONEY PROBLEMS". VANESSA BUNNI STALLONE IS THE PEN NAME. THE NEXT PEN NAME IS NAIJAH CLOVER. JOSH D. ROCKMAN IS THE NEXT PEN NAME AFTER NAIJAH CLOVER. DAVID X. CRICHTON, STALLONE, CLOVER AND ROCKMAN. THE PEN NAMES. THE FIRST PEN NAME RAN FOR FIVE YEARS. THE LAST TWO YEARS INTRODUCED STALLONE. STALLONE HAS ONE VOLUME PUBLISHED AND ONE READY. THIS IS VOLUME THREE FOR STALLONE. AFTER THIS, VOLUME ONE FOR CLOVER WILL COMMENCE. 

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12:45PM EST - 1:24PM EST
TUESDAY APRIL 7TH, 2020
4.7.2020
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CHAPTER THREE: THE DAVID CRICHTON EXPERIENCE

 2001. 2000. 2002. MADE MY FIRST FILMS DURING THOSE YEARS. USED A CAMCORDER FOR THE FIRST TIME. 2011. THE YEAR I LAUNCHED MY FIRST TWO YOUTUBE CHANNELS. KEVITV. SEEXZAVIERFILMS. CHIZZI KENNEDY. 2015. THE YEAR I RECORDED MY FIRST DIARIES. VIDEO FORMAT. 24 HOUR LONG VIDEO DIARY. FILMED DURING MAY 2015. DURING THE PHONE GIRL SITUATION. THE PHONE GIRL EXPERIENCE. THE DAVID CRICHTON EXPERIENCE HAPPENED THE FOLLOWING MONTH. JUNE 2015. THE MONTH I WROTE "THE PHONE GIRL". JULY 2015. "CFK" WAS WRITTEN. BY DECEMBER 2015, "CFK" AND "THE PHONE GIRL" WERE FINISHED. MY FIRST TRILOGY. "TPG". "CFK" MY FIRST DOUBLE TRILOGY. IN NOVEMBER 2015, I AUDIO RECORDED THE FIRST TWO FRANCHISES. I BEGAN "CLEVERLAND AND CLEVERFIELD" IN JANUARY 2016. THOSE THREE NOVELS WERE VERSE NOVELS. BY NOVEMBER 2016, "THE PRINCE WHO KNEW TOO MUCH" AND "THE PRINCE'S PHILO" WERE WRITTEN. "THE PRINCE WHO KNEW TOO MUCH" FRANCHISE, WAS NOT OF VERSE NOVELS. "THE PRINCE WHO KNEW TOO MUCH" WAS THE FIRST PROSE NOVEL WRITTEN UNDER THE DAVID CRICHTON PEN NAME. "MEGAN AND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION". THE FIRST AUDIO IMPROMPTU VERSE NOVEL RECORDED. USING THE TASCAM AUDIO RECORDER. BOUGHT THE TASCAM IN NOVEMBER 2015. "MEGAN AND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION" WAS AUDIO RECORDED ON MOTHER'S DAY 2016. BASICALLY DURING THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF DAVID X. CRICHTON'S "THE PHONE GIRL". 2016 WAS THE YEAR OF HEAVY AUDIO RECORDING. STARTED YOUR AUDIO DIARIES IN LATE 2015. YOU PICKED IT UP IN 2016. 2016 IS THE FIRST YEAR OF YOUR AUDIO DIARIES. NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER 2015 HAD THE BEGINNING DIARIES. CREATIVE DIARIES. IN DECEMBER 2015 YOU AUDIO FREESTYLED THE CREATIVE DIARY. THE 24 HOUR EXPRESSION OF WHERE YOU WANTED TO TAKE YOUR NEWFOUND CREATIVE LEVEL. I WAS SIX MONTHS DEEP INTO THE DAVID CRICHTON PORTFOLIO WHEN THE AUDIO RECORDED APPEARED. GOING INTO DAVID CRICHTON'S FIRST THREE FRANCHISES, I HAD A 24HR VIDEO DIARY. PREPPING THE URGE FOR MORE DIARIES AFTER THE FIRST PROJECTS. BACK AND FORTH I WENT. BETWEEN DIARIES AND CREATIVE DIARIES. PRODUCTION DIARIES. PRODUCTION DIARIES OF NOVELS AND SCRIPTS. THE NOVELS AND SCRIPTS THEMSELVES. AUDIO DIARIES. IMPROMPTU VERSE NOVELS. GOING INTO 2017. I WAS AUDIO RECORDING HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF MATERIAL EVERY SEASON. I WAS RECORDING LIKE CRAZY. WRITING AND RECORDING. WRITING AND RECORDING. THE SPRING OF 2017. I AUDIO RECORDED FILM SCRIPTS IMPROMPTU. FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS. ON AVERAGE 30 PROJECTS PER MONTH. ONE PER DAY. I KNOW THE FIGURE IS CORRECT BUT I STILL FEEL WEIRD SAYING IT. [YOURLISTEN.COM](https://YOURLISTEN.COM) HOLDS THE MAJORITY OF THE AUDIO FILES. I AM IN THE PROCESS OF EDITING VIDEOS WITH THE AUDIO FILES INSIDE NOW. IAMMICKEII. CHAD HARRIS. THEWHITERABBIT. THE THREE USER NAMES FOR YOUR LISTEN. YOUR LISTEN DOESN'T LET YOU LOOK UP USER NAMES. TYPE IN THE CHAD DIARY. THIS WILL PULL UP TWO ACCOUNTS. PARAMORE LAND. ALL ACCOUNTS SHOULD BE ACCOUNTED FOR THEN. ON SOUNDCLOUD. CHAD HARRIS 20. [DXCEXPERIENCE.BLOGSPOT.COM](https://DXCEXPERIENCE.BLOGSPOT.COM). [LULU.COM](https://LULU.COM) HOLDS THE PUBLICATIONS. DAVID X CRICHTON. VANESSA B. STALLONE. THE PEN NAMES FOR THE PUBLICATIONS ON LULU. IN OCTOBER OF 2017, I MOVED TO SYRACUSE, NEW YORK. I MOVED BACK TO GEORGIA ON VALENTINE'S DAY 2018. I MOVED BACK TO SYRACUSE ON AUGUST 10TH, 2018. I BOUGHT THE BUS TICKET ONE DAY IN ADVANCE. COST HALF THE OVERTIME CHECK. I MISSED NEW YORK STATE. I MISSED SYRACUSE. I LOVED IT HERE. I LOVE IT HERE. IT'S AWESOME. I REALLY ENJOY IT. IT'S VERY PEACEFUL. THERE ARE CAMERA'S ON THE STREET. MAKES ME FEEL SAFE. JACK FROST IS VERY ACCOMODATING. I LOVE THE ARCHITECTURE HERE AS WELL. MAKES ME WANT TO STUDY ARCHITECTURE EVEN MORE SO. 

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11:31PM EST -
12:43AM EST - 1:02AM EST
TUESDAY APRIL 7TH, 2020
4.7.2020
WEDNESDAY APRIL 8TH, 2020
4.8.2020
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CHAPTER FOUR: VANESSA HONEY MALONE, NAIJAH GROVER SR. AND J.D. ROCKMAN

 I AM LISTENING TO MY RENDITION, READING OF "ROMEO AND JULIET". I SERVE AS GOOD A MAN AS YOU. YES BETTER SIR. YOU LIE. REMEMBER THY SMASHING BLOW. ENTER BENVOLIO. PUT UP YOUR SWORDS. ENTER TYBALT. LOOK UPON THY DEATH. THEY FIGHT. I USE PEN NAMES FOR THE PUBLICATIONS. I USE PEN NAMES FOR MANY REASONS. THE DAVID CRICHTON PEN NAME. DAVID IS MY FATHER'S NAME. MIKE CRICHTON IS MY FAVORITE AUTHOR AS A TEEN. "JURASSIC PARK" "THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK". "SPHERE". "CONGO". "DISCLOSURE". "THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY". "ANDROMEDA STRAIN". "A CASE OF NEED". "TIMELINE". "THE 13TH WARRIOR". "EATERS OF THE DEAD". "RISING SUN." "TRAVELS." "E.R.". "WESTWORLD"? THE CURRENT PEN NAMES. THE CURRENT PEN NAMES ARE CREATED IN THE HONOR OF MY DEAD HOMIES. THE FALLEN SOLDIERS I MET ON MY JOURNEYS. THRU OUT THE YEARS, I MET A FEW PEOPLE WHO PASSED. THESE PEOPLE HAPPENED TO BE CLOSE TO ME. I FELT THE PAIN OF THEIR PASSING. UP CLOSE. VANESSA HONEY MALONE. SOMEONE WAS ARRESTED IN THE 8YR OLD COLD MURDER CASE. MY MOTHER TEXTED ME WITH THE LINK TO THE ARTICLE. AS I WAS READING THE ARTICLE, MY MOTHER CALLED ME. SHE RECOGNIZED THE NAME. VANESSA HONEY MALONE. I ALWAYS MENTION HER. HER NAME IS BASICALLY MY PEN NAME. I TOOK A NAP TO REFRESH THE BRAIN. THINKING MAYBE I WOULD DREAM HER IMAGE OR MEMORY UP. 

VANESSA STALLONE IS THE CURRENT PEN NAME. NAIJAH CLOVER IS THE NEXT PEN NAME. NAIJAH GROVER SR. I MET NAIJAH GROVER SR. DURING THE SUMMER BEFORE MY SENIOR YEAR AT SALEM HIGH. CLASS OF 2008. NAIJAH WAS THE CLASS OF 2009. I INVITED NAIJAH'S MOTHER TO MY GRADUATION. KEVI WAS AT MY GRADUATION. KEVI GRADUATED FROM SALEM TEN YEARS LATER. CLASS OF 2019. NAIJAH DIED WITH TWO OTHER CLASSMATES, DERRON AND TERRENCE ON MOTHER'S DAY 2008. NAIJAH NEVER SAW BARACK OBAMA POP UP. HE MAY HAVE ONLY SEEN A GLIMPSE. NAIJAH HAD A SON AFTER HE PASSED. NAIJAH WAS BLESSED FOR THAT.
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8:05AM EST -
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CHAPTER FIVE: THANK YOU AND COME AGAIN MY FRIEND

THE SYRACUSE FILM FESTIVAL. OCTOBER'S VERY OWN. I AM ENTERING. GOD WILLING. I AM GOING THRU THE RAW FOOTAGE. I WILL INCLUDE SHAKESPEARE AUDIO. THIS AUDIO BOOK IS INCLUDED. THE CHAD FILM. SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WAITING ON FOR TEN YEARS. I AM NOT SURE WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE. I HAVE PUBLICATIONS. NOVELS. FOR FILM SCRIPT RIGHTS. FILM SCRIPTS. MY WAY OF ENTERING CONSIDERATION FOR LITERARY HISTORY. THE LITERARY LEGACY. MY WAY OF HAVING A CHAD FILM REGARDLESS OF LIFE. PROPER ACTION. NOW, EDITING THE RAW FOOTAGE, I REALIZE, I AM MAKING THE CHAD FILM THERE. THAT IS A CHAD FILM. SO NOW, I HAVE TO MAKE THE CHAD FILMS AS IF, I NEVER MAKE IT TO HOLLYWOOD. THIS WAY, THE CHAD FILMS ARE AS POWERFUL AS I CAN MAKE THEM. THE COMBINATION OF THE AUDIO FROM 2015 ON AND THE RAW FOOTAGE FROM 2011 ON. 11:00PM EST - 11:29PM EST I SPEND THE DAYS. THE DAYS IN WHICH I AGE. TO CONTINUE TO GRASP THE MOMENTS. LEAVING ME AMAZED. AMAZED BY THE FACT I AM STILL HERE. I CAN STILL HEAR. HEARING WITH THE STILL EAR. STILL EARS. LIFE IS STILL CLEAR. IT IS CLEAR. IN THESE TRYING TIMES. WE MAY BE IN THE DYING TIMES. SO IF I AM DYING I. ONLY NEED TO RECTIFY. I DIDN'T SEE WITH RECKLESS EYES. KEPT CONTROL OF THE RECKLESS SIDE. I NEVER WANTED TO WASTE. THE TIME I HAD. IN THESE TIMES IN WHCH I WAS PLACED. DEFINITELY NOT MISPLACED. EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS FELT OUT OF SYNC. WITH THIS PLACE. I WAS IN SYNC. WITH THE DARLING INSTINCT. REALLY. REALLY REALLY IS WHAT I THINK. WHEN IT COMES TO POP CULTURE. PLOPPED DOWN LIKE A VULTURE. NO DRAKE I GOT CULTURE NO BLOOD. UGH. YEA. HA. IMMERSED IN CULTURE LIKE MERSA. NO CRUD. WHAT? MORE LIKE YUCK. I BE STUCK. I WAKE UP LIKE WTF. I'M STILL HERE. SO I'M STILL CLEAR. MINDED. THE DESTINY OF MINE I BETTER FIND IT. I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND TO THIS I'M BLINDED. YOU COULDN'T BLIND SIGHT IT. EASTER SUNDAY APRIL 12TH, 2020 - 7:11PM EST - 7:45PM EST 

I JUST WOKE UP. THANK GOD. FIRST THING I DO? I THANK GOD. AS I LAY IN AWE. I ONLY SAY WHAT I SAW. I ONLY PLAY WITH IT ALL. I TAKE NAPS BEFORE THE MIND FALLS. VICTIM TO THE DARK MIND'S PAWS. AW. I TOOK THE NAP. FOR THE CLARITY IT GAVE BACK. AWOKE TO A SLAP. OR AWOKE FROM A SLAP. I WOKE UP FROM A DREAM. TO WAKE UP IN A DREAM. TWO DREAMS. LIFE IS JUST TWO DREAMS. YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN CONFUSED. OVER WHAT GIFTS YOU MISUSE. OR DON'T WANT TO USE. WHICH IS AGAIN TO MISUSE. OR GIFTS YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE. THE SAME GIFTS THE DEEPEST STATE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO CHOOSE. SO CHOOSE FOR YOUR LIFE. WHICH DREAM IS REAL? WHAT MAKES THIS DREAM MORE REAL? WHAT MAKES THE DREAM WORLD LESS REAL? WHEN YOU'RE TERRIFIED IN YOUR DREAMS. YOU WAKE UP. IN THIS DREAM. YOU CAN END UP TERRIFIED UNTIL IT'S ALL OVER. THERE IS NO WAKING UP FROM THIS DREAM WITHOUT LEAVING. THIS IS THE LONG DREAM. THE DREAMWORLD. WHEN SLEEP. MAY BE THE CLOSEST TO OUR ORIGINS. WE SEE. HOWEVER INDEED IT ALL MAY ACTUALLY BE. I WOKE UP TO PHONE NUMBER OF ROCKMAN'S MOM. JD HUTCHINSON. I GET TO BE IN CONTACT WITH HIS FAMILY AGAIN. I HAVE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH CRYSTAL LATRICE ALL YEAR. NOW I CAN REACH OUT TO UNCLE WALLY AND ROCK'S GRANDPARENTS. RON?
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1:11AM EST - 1:46AM EST
FRIDAY APRIL 17TH, 2020
4.17.2020
FRIDAY APRIL 17TH, 2020
4.17.2020
11:00AM EST - 11:11AM
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CHAPTER SIX: TALKED TO ROCK'S MOM

 I TALKED TO JOSH D. HUTCBINSON'S MOTHER. I TALKED TO MS. SADONNA FOR AN HOUR. WAS INTRODUCED TO HER HUSBAND RON. I MISSED HEARING HER VOICE. I ENJOYED HEARING HER VOICE. MARCUS AND NAY ARE GETTING MARRIED. I CHERISH HAVING THEM IN MY PAST MOMENTS OF GROWTH. I CHERISH THE OPPORTUNITY TO RECONNECT WITH THEM ALL. I WILL KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THEM ALL. I HAD GREAT TIMES LIVING WITH THEM. I WAS LIVING WITH HER AND ROCK FROM SEPTEMBER 2016 TO MARCH 2017. THE FIRST YEAR OF DAVID X CRICHTON. I HAD PUBLISHED "THE PHONE GIRL" THAT SPRING. I HAD PUBLISHED "CLEVERLAND" THAT SPRING. ROCK HAD A COPY OF "CLEVERLAND". "CLEVERLAND AND CLEVERFIELD". HE READ SOME OF IT IN FRONT OF ME. HE SAID. "I CAN RAP THIS BRO". I LOOK FORWARD TO WRITING A VERSE NOVEL UNDER THE TITLE. IT JUST FELT REALLY GREAT TO HEAR HIS MOTHER'S VOICE. I CHERISH THE TIME I WAS THERE. AS ROUGH AS IT GOT AFTER HIS DEATH, I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING. I AM PROUD I MET HIM. HE HAD FAITH IN THE JOURNEY I WAS ON. HE TOLD ME I WOULD BE RICH BUT THAT WASN'T WHY HE WAS MY FRIEND. I REMINDED HIM OF HIS LITTLE BROTHER. COREY. HE TOLD ME FOCUS ON MY BOOKS AND NOT SMOKING. HE WAS A REAL FRIEND. I HAVE NOTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT THEM EVER. I MISS HIM. I THINK ABOUT HIM DAILY. I ALWAYS COUNTDOWN. THREE YEARS. FOUR YEARS COME CHRISTMAS. I MADE A PEN NAME FOR HIM BY THIS POINT. I LOOK FORWARD TO STARTING AND COMPLETING THE FIRST TRILOGY. CLEVERLAND IS A REAL PLACE. IT IS IN YOUR MIND. YOU GET THERE USING YOUR MIND. IT IS A REALM YOU ENTER THRU YOUR MIND. CLEVERLAND IS CLOSED ON SUNDAYS. JOKING. THE FOREX MARKET IS CLOSED ON SUNDAYS. THE STOCK MARKET IS CLOSD ON SUNDAYS. I FULLY DISCOVERED "CLEVERLAND", THE PLACE, IN 2015. BY JANUARY TO MARCH, 2016, "CLEVERLAND THE VERSE NOVEL" WAS BEING WRITTEN. "CLEVERLAND" IS WHERE I LEARNED TO GO, TO PULL OUT MY IDEAS FROM. "CLEVERLAND" IS WHERE THE IDEAS ORIGINATE FROM. "CLEVERLAND" BECAME MY HOME. MENTALLY I HAVE BEEN TRAVERSING THRU CLEVERLAND MY ENTIRE LIFE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A NAME FOR IT. NOW I KNOW THE NAME. THE FORMULA FOR WRITING THE DAVID CRICHTON NOVELS, CAME FROM "CLEVERLAND". "CLEVERLAND AND FRIENDS" COMING SOON. NOW, YEARS LATER, "CLEVERLAND" HAS A NEW MEANING TO ME. EMOTIONALLY, "CLEVERLAND" HELPS ME STAY ENTHRALLED IN "CLEVERLAND". "REALITY IS CREATED". "CLEVERLAND" IS THE LAND, THE REALM OF IDEAS ARRIVES FROM OR DWELLS IN. IDEAS LIVE IN "CLEVERLAND". SO IF I LIVE IN CLEVERLAND, WITH ALL OF MY SPARE TIME, WITH ALL OF MY BEING. YOU TAP INTO "CLEVERLAND" ALONE. ONCE THE CONNECTION IS STRONG HOWEVER, YOU SHALL WIN THE WAR. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TAP INTO CLEVERLAND, WHENEVER, FOR HOWEVER LONG. 7:00PM EST - 8:03PM EST 

4.20.2020

THE THING ABOUT CHAD. CHAD IS A HUMAN. CHAD IS AN ARTIST. CHAD IS AN ARTISTIC HUMAN. I WRITE WHAT I FEEL. I WRITE THE DEEPEST THOUGHTS I CAN MUSTER. I WRITE AS HONEST AS I CAN BE. THEN I STRIVE TO BE AS HONEST AS I CAN WITH MY ADMISSIONS. CHADMISSIONS. THE CHAD MISSION. THESE ARE DIARIES. IN ESSENCE. I MASKED THEM AS NOVELS THE BEST I COULD. I ONLY KNEW ME. ALL I KNOW IS ME. SO I WRITE ME DOWN ON PAPER. FROM THERE IT'S BE AS CREATIVE AS YOU CAN BE. CLEVERLAND IS ME. I AM ALWAYS IN A STATE OF CREATIVE BEING. CFK IS ME. I AM ENTHRALLED BY HISTORY NOW BC OF JFK. THE PHONE GUY IS ME. MEGAN THE PHONE GIRL CREATED DAVID CRICHTON. SHE BROKE ALL ILLUSIONS ON THE OPPOSITE SEX. SH HAPPENS. IT JUST DOES SOMETIMES. I GOT WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. CREATIVELY. IT WAS ALCHEMY. THERE WAS A TRADE. MY EMOTIONS WOULD CATALYZE EVERY BOOK. EMOTIONALLY I COULDN'T HANDLE ANY DEVASTATION FROM A PERSONAL LIFE PURSUIT. EMOTIONALLY EVERYTHING GOES INSIDE OF THE PORTFOLIO. THE ONLY THING I COULD EVER CONTROL. THE REALIZATION THAT ANOTHER PERSON WILL DO WHAT THEY WANT. REALIZING THE DYNAMICS OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER. HAVING MULTIPLE PERSONS AROUND YOU CAN LEAD TO DISORDERS IS WHAT I AM SAYING. THIS WAS 2015. BEFORE MASS COVID SCARE. I WAS ALREADY ON THE TIP. PAUSING. I HAVE BEEN SCARED OF OTHER PEOPLE FOR FIVE YEARS AT LEAST. THE TRUST ISSUES I HAVE INCURRED FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES WITH FRIENDS, FAMILY AND THE OPPOSITE SEX GENDER HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THIS. THOROUGHLY. 9:40AM EST - 9:55AM EST 

4.21.2020