This is a rant and also looking for help on this situation. I’ve tried multiple resources and nothing has given me much info or help.
I grew up in an extremely unstable household, but shortly after I turned 11 my dad began sexualizing me. He would say the most disgusting things I can still hear to this day, and grab/touch me all the time. I wasn’t aware CSA was going on until a few years after I moved out of his house, so I was about 20. I’d have reoccurring dreams of him SA’ing me and I’d brush it off as a nightmare until I would dissociate and memories would flash. Fast forward to today, I have full memory of those horrible moments and I’m in therapy. I’ve also learned that my dad has SA’d multiple people, including my mom. My dad still sexualizes me to this day, sends me porn and asks about my sex life and more. If I calmly tell him that I refuse to talk about that he becomes so enraged that I can’t calm him down and he threatens to dishonor his divorce agreement with my mom and stop paying every month. Without his money we would be on the streets and we have no money to take him to court. We both work but my mom being an immigrant she can’t find a well paying job, and i never had the funds to finish my degree, so I’m stuck working multiple jobs for scrap. My mom is telling me to just play nice with my dad but I can’t. On top of everything else she refuses to acknowledge how my dad treated me when I was a child AND now. She usually says something along the lines of “that’s how all men are, they’re creeps. Anyway I had it much worse than you” and then she’ll go into detail about all the times he SA’d her and that her situation with my dad is worse. She knew about everything he did and enabled it. I’m just broken and done. This will never end until he’s gone and I’m stuck. Trying to hard to heal my cptsd but I don’t know how that will ever happen when I still have to continue living like this.

I can’t find any of the shrines even though my sensor keeps going off and I can’t see anything.
Alright thanks for reading my rant.

I want to preface this rant by saying that I'm SO happy people are loving the game, and the reason these issues affect my experience so much might be because of my autism and ADD, but hopefully y'all can understand what I'm talking about in this possibly quite selfish rant.
Breath of the Wild is my favourite video game of all time (and I've played a LOT of amazing games). So I was naturally super excited for the release of its sequel, and I bought TotK on release day. I started playing and had a great time for the first maybe 3 hours. Then I slowly started to realize more and more annoying things with the game, and now, not 15 minutes go by without me getting terribly frustrated with the game.
First thing I noticed is that switching weapons is slower than in botw. This is something that i do multiple times per battle, even in small encounters. In botw, switching weapons is very swift, allowing you to switch back and forth between weapons, arrows, shields and bows multiple times in small time windows without breaking the flow of the fight. In TotK, there's a small delay where you can't input anything every time you press left, right or up on the d-pad, and after you've selected a weapon, there's an even longer delay before the menu closes. From my experience, all this more than doubles the switching time on average and feels terrible and it kills the flow of combat every time you switch. You also can't switch weapons with the triggers in TotK for some reason, and don't even get me started on the long ass item menu.
Next thing I noticed is that having to navigate the sky islands for so long without the paraglider is a terrible experience. It's cool in the beginning, but after a while, it's just... frustrating and takes forever imo. This is definitely a smaller thing, but it kinda represents a bigger problem from the very start that I have with the game.
And that problem is clunkyness. This is mostly about Ultrahand, but also about a lot of other aspects of the game. So, the main mechanic of TotK is Ultrahand, and while letting you build anything you want with a huge arsenal of devices sounds amazing, it's awfully clunky in practice imo, at least early game. I'll give it credit for being better Magnesis, but also manually using Ultrahand to spend 10 minutes building a machine to traverse a gap while using up a ton of resources, just to find out that it straight up didn't work, is one of the most miserable experience i've had in a zelda game. Using machines you built is a lot of fun but when you before you get Autobuild, building them feels terrible and is filled with tiny annoyances with the controls of Ultrahand (not to mention autobuild still takes resources).
But why don't we talk about the other abilities too? Ascend is wore revali's gale. There, I said it. It's just worse, it doesn't work if the uneven or slanted, and the fact that you can't use it in the air is outrageous to me. Clunky. Then there's Fuse, which is an awesome concept, but honestly, it just feels unnecessary and slightly out of place to me. A ton of weapons from botw seem to have been removed in totk because Fuse can replace them, but if I'm forced to pick between a stylish sledgehammer or double axe and varius iterations of a club or sword with a rock on it, I think I know what I'm choosing. I won't deny the potential for creativity Ultrahand and Fuse have, but from a casual TotK gamer's perspective, it just doesn't feel as good. Also fusing shit onto arrows is hell why do i have to do it for every single arrow, why cant i just switch to my ice arrows and be happy. And then there's recall which... just takes too long for me man, I don't like waiting in video games, and if I'm already frustrated from everything else, and then I fuck up my recall idea oh my god. Not to mention that you can't use it on enemies like with stasis +, which was one of my favourite combat mechanics in botw, and with recall it coulda been really cool i think.
To really summarize how I feel about this game, it feels like BotW basically had this motto of "if you wonder whether or not you can do something, you probably can", and the few times where it didn't work, it at least didn't feel super frustrating or it might even have been funny. In TotK, I'll have a cool idea, and it either just won't work because the game said so for seemingly no reason (see: my opinion on Ascend) or I'll waste a bunch of time/resources and end up frustrated. And this happens A LOT.
And then there's the more frequent blood moons (annoying), the lack of the bomb rune (im addicted to windbombs), the lack of cryonis (i just like it idk) and the vibe of TotK being much less serence/relaxing/beatiful/peaceful (imo), gloom hands being more annoying than scary, and far inferior to guardians (imho), the lack of the gerudo vai set (very minor but still), etc.... All in all im really disappointed and sad that I don't enjoy the sequel to my favourite game like everyone else seems to.
​
TL;DR: Everything feels clunky and I get frustrated all the time by so many small annoying things, and all of my favourite things about BotW are either not in TotK, or they feel less significant or much clunkier.
PS. I hope some of you could relate to at least some of these issues I have with Tear of the Kingdom, and if not... that's okay too and I implore you to ignore me and go have fun with your unethical warmachines (which I btw love seeing videos of on here), and in the meantime, I'll just be over here, windbombing around the ruins of Hyrule. Random BotW fan on the internet, out.

27 F Culture, anime, tv series, movies, Ramdom thoughts, humor, listening and giving advice. If you need someone to talk to and listen to your sad or happy news, someone who'll be on the phone listening to you rant on how unfair or how lonely the world is.

23M, 183 cm, 60 kg, live in Belgium
Hi. First and foremost i'll have to notify that this symptom occured after having a relatively high dose of MDMA at a rave party. This caused me to have some nystagmus (for about 15 minutes), which in turn triggered a small panic attack. After this incident, the night progressed more than smoothly and I had a great time. However, a couple weeks later I noticed that my vision was a little off, things looked generally more blurry than before and the contour of objects also looked a bit off. My vision isn't doubled. I also have a slight "twitch" in my eyes when I try to focus on small things. It feels like my eye for a split second turns to something else and back in place. This seeming eye movement is not observed when someone is looking directly at my eyes, so it's not nystagmus. An other symptom I have is that, when I look at objects at certain angles, the image does not converge properly (mess of double and non-double vision). It seems as if I have a smaller depth of field than I had before. It also seems like i'm more aware of the background become double (physiological double vision; I know this is normal but it seems to happen at shorter distances than before). I also have visual snow (had this before but to a lesser degree) and palinopsia.
I have been to an eye doctor and he said that I only have a slight near- (left eye) and far-sightedness (right eye). He also gave me eye drops to combat dry eyes, but these don't seem to work. I had an appointment with a neurologist who couldn't find any possible explanation. An MRI is scheduled for later this month to rule out anything bad. In general i'm starting to live with these symptoms as they don't bother me as much anymore (at first it gave me anxiety). I'm just curious, is this something benign? I was thinking of some form of convergency issue, strabismus, or binocular vision dysfunction.
EDIT: these symptoms started more than 3 months ago
Thanks!

Hi all - I'm not sure what to ask here but here's context. I was already a 30G pre-pregnancy and went up a few sizes while staying relatively small even with my 21w bump. I'm concerned that I'm seeing redness under my breasts with obvious tenderness but more than anything it's frustrating because it's just plain hard to get enough air growing a baby let alone feeling this extra weight on my chest. Anyone else in my position? Any suggestions to try to manage breast size except trying to consistently get cardio (which is tough when you can't catch a breath)?
My sister couldn't breastfeed due to the same issue and causing inverted nipples so I'm sad I might be in the same position, too.
Just a side rant that I have had terrible luck with maternity clothes because they don't allow for enough room for large breasts which just makes me feel doubly insecure on how I look.

This will be just a short little rant about some mid- and late season 1 stuff that I couldn't help but notice.
When Apollo and Persephone had their confrontation, (the one where Eros and Psyche in nymph form burst through the window) Apollo admitted that he wanted to be together with Persephone. Her reaction was angrily asking him when her birthday was, to which he did not know. She then asked him to name three things she likes, to which he answered flowers.
Cut to some chapters later where we see Persephone's actual birthday chapter and lo and behold, Hades had no idea when her birthday was. I even found myself wondering if Hades even knew threw things Perse likes? Even as a reader, I can really only think of dogs and school at that point.
The parallel is pretty infuriating. How are we supposed to actually root for Hades as her romantic partner when he had the same amount of information as Apollo for Pete's sake. It's just embarrassing how similar the villain and love interest act outside of a literal triggering event.

This is just a general note about the fundie community, specifically their desire to share their testimony all the damn time. WE GET IT, CHRISTIANITY EXSIST! It is literally one of the most followed religions in the world. You do not need to introduce me to Jesus, I already know about him. If I wanted to join I would. I have seen multiple tiktoks of fundies saying the best way to get more people to join is to share their journey with Jesus. I promise you, people already know! We just don't want to join your particular flavor or AT ALL. I understand that sharing your faith is an integral part of most Christian sects, I get WHY they do it, but it drives me insane. It comes across as pushy and super condescending. Not to mention when they choose to go on missions to countries or areas that are ALREADY heavily Christian! They can't seem to understand that it's not that I haven't heard youother's Jesus story, it's that I don't like the message at all, full stop. Rant over.

To my fellow Festival Goers/Ravers:
I’ve been raving since 2010 and have also brought the “party” to the clubs recreationally, if you know what I mean ;). What I’m saying is that I just don’t feel that “euphoria,” that high like I used to. And I don’t think it’s the “stuff, because I think they just keep getting stronger & stronger.
My question is: Are there supplements to take before an event to help bring back that feeling??

So we all know that Peter had a thing for Gamora back in the first movie. By the end of the second and during Infinity War, it’s clear the two fell in love. By Endgame, it obviously doesn’t go the way Peter wants. While this is Gamora from before she met and fell in love, Peter is still in love with her.
But the scene where Gamora offhandedly says Nebula seems more like who he’s after and he does that stare, I immediately lost hope for the PeteGamora romance. Even if it was for the sake of comedy, if Peter truly loved Gamora, he wouldn’t have done “the stare” with Nebula, Gamora’s own sister.
Anyways, that’s my rant. Aside from that, still a great movie.

Can anyone share YouTube videos with non -Indian scammers? I keep hearing the same swears and rants so it gets a lil repetitive. And kit's impressions have also become quite familiar. So editing and outrageous drama aside, I'm trying to find something a lil fresh

Chat with your friends from PCOS here about your daily progress, or rants and raves related to your PCOS experience. Off topic posts are permitted here, although sub rules otherwise apply!

Disclaimer: mobile formatting and I am a bit upset and not thinking clearly at the moment
Me (20F) and my mother (50F) have always had a somewhat rocky relationship. I still live with my family with my mom being the head of household. Our relationship is pretty good about 40% of the time but the rest of the time we have a lot of disagreements. In my early teenage years our relationship was especially tense with almost constant arguments. It did get better for a few years but we have had some recent issues that have ended in very big arguments.
The issues are all about my behavior. I stay out too late or don't contribute enough to the household. I feel like I do take what I have for granted but it is difficult sometimes. I stayed out one night and she put an air tag on me and gave me a curfew. One time I broke curfew without good reason and she tried to take my keys as I was leaving for work the next day. A year ago she hid the car keys for two weeks because I visited my boyfriend's apartment.
I rarely ask her for help with anything and try to help out taking care of the rest of my family. I go to school (although might be taking a break to move out) and work so I'm not home very often. I am trying to buy a car and find a second job so I can move out as soon as possible but I want to improve my relationship with her long term. I admit I can be irritable at times and this makes her angry which then leads to days of me trying to fix things and her ignoring me. I don't think simply moving out will help fix our relationship but it doesn't seem she is open to accepting my side of things or even understanding it. Therapy is not an option. Last time we had a session together and the therapist disagreed with her she ranted about their personal bias afterwards and was convinced the therapist was wrong too.
TLDR: My mom and I have a strained relationship. I don't think simply moving out will fix it. What are ways I might be able to improve our relationship and maintain it?

So I left the church about a year ago and have since been living my best life. Enjoying my freedom to be unapologetically me (happy pride lmao). Anyways since I left things have been tense but most family members are at least civil with me.
Yesterday was my grandma's 80th birthday. Everyone was invited. But not me, not my brother who left the church, and not my brother whose wife has left. The cousins from across the country went and celebrated. But we weren't invited.
This morning I hop onto Instagram and see that my aunt has posted about the party. She claimed that there are only 21 cousins. There's 24. We were erased. I don't exist to them anymore.
I hate it.
Thanks for coming to my rant :)

It’s currently 2am, I can’t sleep, and the world is too quiet. For a bit of background, I have a hard time connecting with people, like I can make “friends” with them but it won’t develop further than small talks due to that I can count the number of people I’m close to with one hand.
I ~have~ had two friends, for 13 years they were the only ones I could connect to and because of that I tried really hard to make it work. I tried so hard to communicate, I made sure to answer their chats within the hour they sent them even if I was busy. I learned how to accept hugs and people touching me without flinching away because they love hugging people. I studied how to comfort people because I’ve never done it before meeting them.
During the pandemic I was at my lowest. I lost all motivation and did things I’m not proud of. I turned to my friends to distract myself from my thoughts, I didn’t tell them I was feeling down, I justed wanted someone to talk to about anything. Most of the time they didn’t reply, I thought maybe they were busy, but it happened several times.
I realized that despite my efforts our friendship was already failing. I looked through our chats and texts, and saw that even before the pandemic they were already pulling away from me. The last nail on the coffin was on my birthday, rather than a cake or birthday gifts what I got instead was a lab test result. I broke down to one of them, and even now I still feel hurt and angry remembering it.
I was crying. I was pouring my heart out to you, scared. I expected you to tell me that it was okay that I was going to be fine. All I got in return was you telling me that I’m privileged. Why? How? You’re richer than me, you have a complete and happy family who shows and goves you affection, and most importantly, you have a healthy body.
After this, I only had one friend left. I stopped initiating conversation, and they never started one, because of that they pulled away completely. I gave them so much of myself. I tried so hard to learn things and get out of my comfort zone. I’m so tired trying.
13 years of friendship ~was it even friendship? or was it just me?~ gone just like that. It’s been a few months and I still feel those emotions. It feels unreal, but I immediately got used to being alone again, yet every once in a while, I get hit with questions of what I did wrong.
P.S. Sorry for the long rant, the rambling, and the wrong grammar and spelling.

This post doesn't mean I'm definitely right, but I just wanted to rant a bit about how lazy I think the pokemon designers have become.
I've been a player since Gen 2, and things felt an improvement for me back then

Let's add abilities to make team building have something more
Let's add hold items to make team building have something more

Lately I feel it's just

Let's make this pokemon have 50 more stat points so players only chose this pokemon and the CEO thinks the player base chooses this pokemon because we are really good, not because we are cheating
Okay people still like this pokemon, we need players to choose the ones we made so let's take it's best move
Okay this pokemon would counter one of the starters, the most important pokemon, it has been present literally in every single game but we can just take it out completely because we can not justify getting rid of all it's movepool

Don't tell me power creep is a thing, this is not some card game where they need people to buy the latest expansion, it would hurt no one to see Charizard in competitive... In my opinion, since this devs can't grasp that a huge dragon like pokemon looks cooler than a lizard with a sniper rifle they literally cheat to force us to use their lazy design.

Hello world!
I'm that one weirdo who debuted on this sub by covering the Pokémon song. Let's see how many times I have to be extremely bad at marketing myself before I can post a success story! Here we go again!
Personality and background

• Happily living in Denmark (Copenhagen) after a few years of hopping from city to city in Europe. "Where are you from?" is not a straightforward question, but if you want my take on the sense of identity and belonging, feel free to ask it!
• I have a strong attraction for accumulating knowledge, regardless of method and type. As an example, I'm the type of person who will go back to a museum multiple times just to read the descriptions of every single exhibit. I'm never afraid to ask questions, even if they may be inappropriate; my curiosity knows no bounds.
• Most likely autistic and on the way to get a professional diagnosis. My brutal honesty, social challenges, keen interests and a lot of other little quirks line up perfectly with this.
• My favourite people quality is drive. I'll listen to someone rave about their special interest for hours, no matter what it is.

Interests

• Pokémon. EVERYTHING Pokémon, especially the main series games and TCG. Need someone to talk your ears off about Pokémon? Say no more.
• Dungeons and Dragons. I love spellcasters and have a strong chaotic good/neutral personality, both in and out of character. I'll seize any available chance to meme, quote, reference, pun, and all manner of other ridiculous things, just because I want to see the effects. I love surprise.
• Blood on the Clocktower. I'm endlessly fascinated by the complexity and deduction aspects of this mafia game; I watch games both on the official channel and by No Rolls Barred, and I play in the unofficial server.
• Board games in general, digital art, and I want to learn how to play the violin someday.

I'm primarily looking for a partner but also open to friendships! If you're contacting me with the possibility of a relationship in mind, here are some things you should know about:

• I don't date long distance, my limit is about 3 hours travel one way. It's important for me to be able to see each other in person, ideally at least once a week or every other week. I also don't plan to move out of Denmark so I'm looking for someone who also wants to live in Denmark in the long term.
• I don't date parents and I'm childfree (this also means no adoption).
• My main love language is quality time, so I want someone who also enjoys spending time together in every form. If you share at least one main interest with me, that's a huge plus.
• You must love hugs because I WILL squeeze you with oh no, my weak nerd arms!

My preferred means of communication is Discord. I also have Telegram. If you want to chat, go ahead and send me your user ID so I can add you :) TTYL!

Most of the time when I rant about this… I’m told I’m fishing for compliments but literally I look disgusting all the time. I like this guy (one knows I’m gay) and I know I have zero chance with him because of my lack of just general attractiveness. I’m a seventeen year old male. I’ll link my Instagram below to see what y’all think but don’t go there if you’re a predator please and thank you.
https://instagram.com/bingham__03?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Note: This comes from my old fig blog.........called "Dan's Cajun Figs"
(see ...........cajunfig.blogspot.com for pictures and more information).

Initially posted on SATURDAY, MAY 26, 2012

Choosing Fig Varieties......by their taste (flavor)

By Dan
Semper Fi-cus
📷Hmmmmm!! Which one should I choose?? Figs come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. There are large ones and small ones. Round ones and flat ones. Some have long necks while some have no neck at all. Some are pear shaped and others are very elongated in shape. Colors can be green, yellow, brown, red, purple, and black. Some even will have two colors and these colors can exist as color vertical bands or stripes. The Panachee is a beautiful yellow fig which has vertical striped bands of green. The fig's pulp color can range from clear, cream, amber, gold, pink, red, and purple. Taste too can vary quite a bit from cultivar to cultivar. So how does one go about choosing a fig based on flavor??
Well, my taste buds tell me that there are a just a few broad groupings that are based on their "TASTE" or their flavor alone. Keep in mind that any taste rating is very subjective and a personal thing. Given that qualifier, here is what my tongue tells me are similar tasting fig varieties. The better figs in each group will have a richer and more complex flavor. A rich flavor will linger on your tongue for several minutes after you eat it and provide maximum taste sensation. A complex flavor will remind you of several different flavors all playing in concert with each other....and teasing your taste buds. Not all figs will have both a rich and complex flavor. Some will have only a single flavor note....like most honey figs. The sugar to acid ratio of the fig pulp too plays a very big role in its overall taste sensation.
I have some of my figs listed in similar flavor groupings. They are in no particular order:
1) The Celeste types .....Celeste, LSU Improved Celeste, O'Rourke, Southern Brown Turkey, English Brown Turkey, Blue Bingo, Blue Celeste, Celestine, Texas Everbearing.
2) The Mission types.......Black Mission, Violette De Bordeaux, Native Black, LSU Scott's Black, Black Beauty 10, Negronne, Petite Aubique, Beer's Black, Maltese Falcon (GM#5), Rond de Bourdeaux, Hardy Chicago New, 2 Fat Lady Black
3) The Honey types......LSU Golden Celeste, Italian Honey, LSU Gold, Jack Lily, White Triana, Atreano, Florentine, Cajun Honey, Cajun Gold, China White, Flanders, Vernino/Pasquale Not, UCD 143-36, LSU Everbearing, Latarula
4) The Blackberry types.......Hardy Chicago, Sals, Sicilian Black, LSU Purple, Black Triana, Black Italian, Marseilles VS, Dark Portuguese, Gino's Black, Black Beauty 10, Dark Sicilian #11, St. Jerome, Quantico, Maltese Falcon (GM#5), Pastillier
5) The Adriatic types.......Smith, Dalmatie, Battaglia Green, Adriatic, JH Adriatc, Green Greek, Strawberry, Monstreuse, Late Green, Verte, Ischia White, Conadria, Lattarola ---------------------------------------------- IMO Everyone should have one from each taste grouping.
Black Beauty 10....is hands down the best tasting fig in my collection. It's taste is very complex and fits into multiple groupings. It will produce two crops in a zone 9 climate. It is a Persian fig which originated from the northern part of Iran. It is NOT the same fig as Kathleen Black. Persian figs are reputed to have better flavor than European or Mediterranean figs because of their different gene pool. I have two other Persian figs which are yellow in color. The yellow one from Northern Iran (not written about yet) is truly outstanding in flavor which leads me to believe that Persian figs are indeed better flavored than those cultivars that originated from Europe. Time will tell..........
Col de Dame is my second best tasting. Its taste is complex and fits into multiple groupings. My climate is long enough to ripen this fig to perfection. It needs a long hot climate. It can produce a light breba crop. Main crop figs ripen late in the season.
Bourjosotte Gris is third best based on taste alone.....it has a very strong and intense strawberry flavor. This fig tastes more Strawberry than a real strawberry. However, its productivity is still in question. Its taste is complex and fits into multiple groupings. It too is a late season fig producing only one crop.
Smith is often to die for good. It is a very well flavored, balanced, and rain tolerant fig. As more and more fig enthusiast around the country get to taste this truly outstanding fig....you will hear them raving about its flavor. It produces two crops in a zone 9 climate.
IMO....Violette De Bordeaux is a MUST HAVE fig as it tastes so good and does real well in most climates. It can produce two crops in a zone 9 climate.
-----------------------------
IMO, there are other factors that should go into cultivar selection besides "TASTE" (flavor) alone. Ripening times, number of crops, persistence, speed of ripening, productivity, rain tolerance, bug resistance, skin quality, sweetness, pulp consistency, heat tolerance, fruit drop, size of tree, cold hardiness, pot culture vs. in-ground culture, cooking qualities, etc. should also be taken into consideration when choosing a fig variety.
For taste and overall performance in the rainy areas in the South.....it is still hard to beat the Louisiana heirloom Celeste fig that I found several summers ago. I was in fig heaven for over an hour as I ate a ton of figs from that particular mother tree. That fig can be seen in the above picture and listed as Celeste LF. Celeste figs can be to die for good. That is why Celeste still remains the Queen Fig of the South....even though it is usually a one crop fig. -------------------------------------------------
Added the following on June 27, 2012
Here are a few current pictures of my old time Celeste LF stain. This one is not an LSU hybrid fig like the LSU Improved Celeste. IMO, this is THE BEST regular Celeste fig strain to be found in Louisiana and likely the nation.......no, let's make that the best in the world!! lol...... This is the one that I have been searching to find for years. My conclusion is based on lots of research on lots of Celeste fig trees. Its taste is absolutely superb (a perfect 10), does not drop its figs, and does not split. This one will dry on the tree into a raisin if you let it. Its taste gets rather complex as the interior pulp turns into a very rich and jam-like sweet treat. I am exceedingly happy to have found this particular strain. I put a lot of miles on my truck during my hunts to find this fig. You can read more about it in another future post on my Fig Blog..............
📷Celeste LF figs A Superior strain of regular Celeste fig June 2012
📷Celeste LF figs A Superior strain of regular Celeste fig June 2012

So I've never actually made a reddit post before but I'm at the point where I'm not even sure if I'm looking for help and advice or I just need to rant to a bunch of people who might actually understand what I'm going through.
Last March I got a tooth pulled out. Simple right? Not so much. I ended up with loads of swelling, jaw lock and so much pain. I was on mush for a week and taking pain meds. Specifically ibuprofen, which you're not meant to take on a empty stomach.
This then began a 3 month long journey with sickness and vomiting blood. I went to a and e multiple times, spoke to many different doctors. I got told 'you sure you're not pregnant, you probably are' (1- vomiting blood is not a sign of pregnancy, 2- I'm a trans guy who's been on testosterone for over a year). I also got told that it was because of my hormones, taking testosterone was making me vomit blood. Right. Then I got told that it was all in my head and that my anxiety disorder was causing it.
I finally got diagnosed with chronic gastritis and got some medication. As soon as I come off the medication the pain, the sickness, everything comes back.
Cut forward a few more months and I start really struggling, I'm always tired, I keep waking up feeling like I have the flu. I keep getting dizzy etc etc. Everything is just becoming hard.
I ended up going back to the doctors multiple times (I have been so lucky in the fact the GP I see regularly actually believed me and immediately started doing tests). Everything came back clear, apparently I'm healthy. So they told me it's most likely fibromyalgia and M.E.
Then I found out I'm actually Autistic.... And that I probably have ADHD.
Then I stopped taking some anxiety medication I had. It was medication that I didn't need to take every day, I could come off at any point. And if never really helped because it's less of an anxiety disorder and more autism! Whenever I hadn't taken the medication for a day or so i would start to get these episodes of presycope and feel horrific.
So I went back to the doctors, and now I'm being tested for POTS.
I am 25, and I'm stuck unable to do anything because of pain and fatigue. It's worse because I don't drive so I really am stuck in my flat. I moved away from my family for my partner before this all happened, but now my partner is going to start a new job so we can't move..... My family isn't exactly the most supporting either, but still.
I feel so isolated and helpless. I'm still working, I work from home, currently not full time. But I'm so tired and I have no idea what to even do. What are we supposed to do these situations?
I've applied for pip so I can try and reduce my hours, but I'm paying private for my transition and for therapy. Because I live with my partner I'm not entiteled to any other help apart from pip, even if I was unemployed. I cant keep on top of my flat or remember to cook for myself half the time. It's horrible. Don't get me wrong, not every day is bad.... But still.
I suppose I just needed a rant. So thanks if you got this far.