I’m 18+ and all characters and participants must be 18+
"Oide Yo! My name is Honoka~! And it is my great pleasure to welcome you all to Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A's Grand opening~!!" A very busty, pink haired woman appeared on the screen at the front of the transportation bus. The only thing she was red heart shaped pasties over her nipples and pussy, a red armband that read "cast", and matching elbow length gloves and thigh high stockings.
"As Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A's first ever guests, we have many great surprises in store for you all~! Unfortunately I can't talk about them, you all will just have to see them for yourself~. But what I can talk about is all of the amazing "worlds" that Mizuryuu Kei Land has!
Starting with the Beginner Area, this part of the park is the first thing you see once you leave the gear area. In Mizuryuu Kei Lands original location in Japan. This is the area where our shy guests spend their time. Mizuryuu Kei Land is all about sexual freedom, and sometimes that can be very scary. For guests that aren't as open with their sexuality as others. But that's OK! For most guest all it takes is one ride on the "Meet N Fuck FerrisWheel" to break them out of their shell. Apart from the Ferris wheel, the Beginner Area also has other attractions for both men and women. The Dildo Carousel, and Glory Mystery Wall are both very popular attractions.
The Urban Jungle is a place where our guest can live their exhibitionist fantasies. Built to look like New York City. Guests here can live out their wildest public sex fantasies. Sure fucking in public is what the park is all about. But there is something special about fucking in a city environment. And in the Urban Jungle there is a place for every fantasy. From bars and clubs, to all types of store recreations, and of course all types of dirty alleys and public restrooms. It is a guarantee that you will never have the same experience when you visit the Urban Jungle.
From Urban Jungle to actual Jungle. Where the Wild Whores Are, is the ultimate pet play experience. Men and women alike can live out their most depraved fantasies of living as fuck pets. The area is divided into several "habitats". A tropical jungle, a pet walking park, and "the zoo". So if you want to let out your wild side, or want to know what it feels like to own your own fuckpet come on down to to Where the Wild Whores Are.
There are many more areas inside of Mizuryuu Kei Land. So many that I am unable to inform you about all of them in such short amount of time. Unfortunately due to legal reasons I am also unable to discuss what goes on inside of areas like our Raceplay World, and Land of Beasts. You will just have to experience those places for yourself hehe~.
Now I'll leave you all by letting you know that as our lucky week long guests. You all have the ability to switch hotels at any point during your stay for free. There are many themed hotels inside of the parks areas. And we want you all to be able to experience as many of our facilities as you can~!
Other than please enjoy all the amazing attractions, restaurants, facilities, events, and both staff and guest contest. Your ride is now at its end. Welcome to Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A!
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Hello dear pervs :3. And thank you for reading my Mizuryuu Kei Land roleplay idea. Based off of the original doujinshi, I want to create a story that severely expands on the world that wonderfully depraved doujinshi created.
So I did not emphasize a "main character" during the prompt. That is because there are many different characters that we can choose from for this rp.
There is Honoka, the current peppy mascot of Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A. Who gets to live in the park and do all sorts of fun events for the guest. Unfortunately she did not read her contract to well. And now she has to fight for the right to keep her job as the parks mascot. Or be replaced by another slut.
There is also Natalia, a college student who's friend was somehow able to score 3 tickets fo the theme parks grand opening week. As a closet pervert Natalia was basically dragged along by her friends. In an attempt to get her to loosen up. Oh if only they knew the bitch in heat they unleashed in the park.
Another option is Stephanie, a 30 year old single mother who was given a ticket by her best friend as a birthday present. She didn't really want to come, as she felt the idea of the park was disgusting. But accepted to go anyway as it was a gift from her friend. The question is will Stephanie be able to come out of the park as the same woman she was when she got there? Or will the depravity of the park turn her into a shameless slutty milf?
And finally there is Evelyn, a recently graduated journalism major and self proclaimed artist. Who infiltrated the park by getting a job as a staff member. As she is trying to launch her career as a real journalist. By exposing Mizuryuu Kei Land as a corrupt cesspool of depravity, and misogyny. Created by the "Patriarchy" to force a narrative that women are nothing but sex objects. Will Evelyn be able to find enough evidence to prove this? Or will the parks influence and its "secret board of directors" turn her into the thing she hates the most, a whore?
The park is basically a sandbox, where we can create anything we want. The only limit for what story we can create is literally our imaginations! So as my GM you will have a lot of creative freedom for what ever lewd attraction, event, store,etc. You want to add to the park.
As for what I am looking for in a partner? I'm looking for someone literate, creative, who can match my writing. Be it multiple paragraphs if the need arises, or just short replies. Really just someone as excited as I am for this prompt. So if my prompt interested you, then please message me at Demondork on Kik. Chat will be ignored, and long detailed replies will get my attention first.
Kinks and limits list:
Kinks: cum, cum eating, cum food, cum play,bukkake,cream pie,bdsm, bondage, forced, body writing, spanking, cuddling, degradation, rough partners, sizeplay, dominant partners, toys, multiple partners, spit roasting, mating press, full Nelson,frenching,rimming,body oil,bestiality,water sports,wax play,sex machines,being filmed,cosplay,NTR,petplay,exhibitionism,biting and pretty much anything that isn’t my limits
Limits:
Scat,gore,vore,hyper sizes,necro and vomit

Ben had never thought that he would ever be a cat dad, not since he saw his own father run over his cat when he was only five. But yesterday, history almost repeated itself when he almost ran over two stray kittens while driving himself home from the graduation ceremony.
It had happened only a few hours ago - despite the fact that in an attempt to impress his dad, who was in the passenger seat, he had tried to be extra precise while backing out of his parking spot, he missed a little something in his way.
However, before the disaster could happen, a shrill scream made him slam the brakes.
"STOP! You'll run over them, STOP!"
Shira?
He jumped out the car and ran to the back, to find Shira looking slightly wary of a cardboard box near one of his back wheels. Inside the box were two kittens.
"BEN!" she shrieked on seeing him, her arms flailing in an almost comical way, "You almost killed them!"
Ben picked up the box, and noticed that there was a small slip of paper inside it.
"You should be more mindful of how you treat animals, Ben! We're supposed to share the planet with them, not-"
"Here, hold it for a moment" he interrupted, holding out the box for her to take.
She did not comply. Instead, she scooted away with a scared look on her face.
It took every last ounce of resilience inside Ben to not roll his eyes. Here she was, lecturing him about being 'mindful' with animals, when she was too disgusted to hold a box with two tiny, malnourished sleeping kittens.
Balancing the box in one hand, he pulled out the slip of paper and opened it.
"Take care of them, please" it read.
Take care of them. Hm. Someone left them here to be found.
After a moment of pondering, he made his decision.
"I'll take them to a shelter." he told Shira, opening the car door to put the two kittens inside.
"Wait!" Shira exclaimed, pulling out her phone and positioning herself as if to take a selfie.
"Shira, I'm really not in the mood to-" Ben began protesting, but the sound her phone made told him she had refused to listen to him. She skipped away, typing what he was sure was a story about how she saved two innocent kittens.
Her followers will like that, for sure.
Still, I'm rescuing two kittens from certain death. That's a good deed.
His good deed, however, remained unfinished, because the shelter did not have any space for cats and could not take in the two kittens. Ben was forced to take the kittens home, with the reassurance that his dad would find a place for them somewhere else.
And now here he was, having cleaned and fed them with Patty, trying to figure out what variety they were while shovelling spahgetti into his mouth.
"Oh, Ben! My sweet boy has graduated!" a saccharine voice suddenly spoke.
His mother.
Vivian Gross, unlike his dad, had chosen to be absent from his graduation ceremony, where he and Devi had jointly recieved the title of valedictorian. His dad had hugged him tightly and exclaimed how proud he was of his son with tears in his eyes. Ben knew he would remember that moment and smile till the day he died, he would be forever grateful for it, but it didn't quite erase the truth - he had expected his mother to show up. This was not a PTA meeting, not a debate tournament, not a club presentation - he has graduated high school. This was important. Today, for one day, he was important.
Apparently not important enough for his mother to abandon her regenerative healing spa appointment.
He did not want to admit it, but a sinking weight had appeared in his chest when his dad had informed him that his mom wasn't coming at all, and it had only dulled slightly since then. On hearing her voice, the weight re-appeared with full force. She pulled out a chair and sat beside him at the dinner table.
"No phone! Be respectful when your mother wants to talk to you, alright?"
Ben immediately put his phone down.
"So, have you thought about college, honey? Where would you like to go?"
Ben tried his best to not let the sheer disbelief show on his face. After all, 3he should have seen this coming.
"Uh, yeah, I - I applied to Columbia. The acceptance letter arrived two months ago. I got in. I'm pretty sure I told both you and dad?"
"You did? Oh, I must have forgotten! Typical me, forgetting things all the time."
It isn't normal to forget what ivy league your son got int- no, no Ben, don't be ungrateful. Don't say anything.
Well, I'm not being ungrateful here. She should've known this.
Before Ben could decide whether or not to convey his true feelings on the matter, Vivian cut the conversation short by pulling her phone out of her purse and beginning to scroll through it. Whether she ignored or didn't hear his scoff, he did not know.
After some time, she spoke up again.
"Oh, you and your girlfriend rescued kittens today? That's so nice!"
"My girlfriend?"
"Shira! She's your girlfriend, isn't she? I'm one of her followers! Very sweet girl, understands the importance of self-care very well."
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out for a bit.
"Mum" he began, drawing a deep breath and trying to control the quiver in his voice "Shira and I broke up two years ago, in sophomore year."
You'd know that if you knew anything.
"Huh? Oh! So you haven't had a girlfriend since?"
"No." he mumbled back, realising it wasn't worth it to explain anything to her. If his mom didn't care enough to know everything that had happened in his life in two years, then he didn't care enough to tell her either.
Ben had always thought the fault was in him. After all, he was richer than most kids in his class, he knew that - he had everything. And yet he felt unhappy. He felt unhappy despite having everything, hence he must be ungrateful.
But he had come to understand he was anything but ungrateful. His dad was the one who was always busy, but he had tried - he had become a better parent. He had been there for Ben. He had showed up.
His mother had chosen not to, and it certainly wasn't his fault. Mothers didn't behave like that - he had met Nalini Vishwakumar. He had to fight the urge to yell some sense into Devi every time she said she hated her mom.
She's ungrateful. I'm not.
This realisation had made him colder towards his mother. He realised it, but was even more hurt by the fact that she didn't notice this at all.
"Well, what did you end up doing with the kittens anyways?"
"The shelter didn't have space for them, so I brought them home. They're in my bedroom. I'll keep them until Dad finds a spot for them." he said.
The silence that followed made him look up from his plate, to find his mother staring back at him with disgust.
"You let stray animals into my house?"
"Stray - what? But you just said it was a nice thing to rescue them!"
"It is! For somebody else! If you wanted a cat we could get you whichever you liked from a breeder!"
"I don't want them! They had been left in the parking lot! They would've died there!"
"They could be diseased, you know."
"They're not. I had them checked and vaccinated at the shelter. There's a veterinary clinic right beside it."
"Still, Ben, get rid of them right away. There will be no random abandoned strays in my house."
Bold words, calling it your house, when you're never in it yourself.
She left the dining room in a huff, mumbling exasperatedly to herself.
Left alone, Ben made a decision. Sure, it was driven by hurt and anger, but he would do it anyways. She hadn't come to his graduation, had she? She hadn't listened to him. Why should he listen to her?
For the first time in his life, Ben Gross was going to disobey his parents. He was going to keep those damn cats.
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Ben woke up the next morning to the sounds of two kittens rolling around and yawning in a box, and realised he was a bit conflicted - taking care of a whole live animal was no joke, especially since he couldn't ask for help from Patty and his dad.
Hiding them from mom isn't really a problem.
The thought of his mother brought back some of the rage he had felt the night before.
He was keeping those kittens, for sure, but for now, he didn't know where to start.
After an hour of research, Ben had a list and a day full of errands to run.
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Why are there so many litter box varieties in this world?
Ben had never known such confusion in his entire life. He was the class valedictorian, had won multiple awards and first place prizes, had gotten into a freaking ivy league, and yet had never faced something so difficult.
In front of him were five tub-like containers - each of a different colour, shape and size. One of them had a transparent lid, another one had a coloured lid, one of them had all these little knobs and buttons on the side, another one had a tag that said 'CAUTION : Be careful of electric wires'
He had angrily told the salesman to leave him alone after the idiot had attempted to sell him seeds for a parakeet, and now he had no one to ask for help.
Or maybe not.
He whipped out his phone and dialled a number.
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Ben was regretting his choice.
Paxton had been standing beside him for the past five minutes, brow furrowed and completely silent.
Ben had suddenly realised that he did, indeed, have friends, friends he could ask for help. Only, his friend seemed even more lost and confused than he was.
"I- Wait, does that one say be careful of wires? I thought litter boxes didn't need electricity!"
"So did I! That's why I called you for help!"
"Me? What would I know about this? I've never had a pet!"
"But then why did you agree to help me?"
"Dude, I thought the box was too heavy for you to carry!"
"What's too heavy to carry?"
Trent had showed up out of nowhere, but Ben was somewhat used to him appearing out of thin air.
"Nothing. We can't figure out what to do here, which one of these litter boxes should I buy?
Trent looked at him with confusion. "Bro, you know these are for, like, cats, right? You can't use them."
Ben closed his eyes while Paxton held in a laugh.
"Yes, Trent, I know. I have two kittens at home. This is for them."
"Oh!" Trent said, rolling up his sleeves "Well, none of this fancy shit. What you need is a smart, durable, and simple solution" Spinning around, he called out - "Yo, does anyone here know where the Paw-fect range is?"
A girl in an apron appeared in the aisle, gesturing at them to follow her. She lead them to a different part of the store - a section that seemed entirely dedicated to the company Paw-fect.
An hour later, they were walking out to Ben's car with three large shopping bags.
"Dude, how do you know all this stuff? I mean, you basically told us what varieties of cats there are based on hair length. Where did you find that out?" Paxton asked Trent, not being able to place when precisely Trent had become an expert on cats.
"I spend a lot of time watching commercials on youtube, bro. I know exactly how to look after bunnies and dogs too."
Ben smiled to himself, getting inside the car. He rolled down the window and bid his friends goodbye before driving off towards home.
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A month had passed since that fateful day when he discovered his two beloved pets in that parking lot. Now, a month into the summer, he felt he had become somewhat of an expert cat dad. Well, enough of an expert to be worthy of a 'Best Cat Dad in the World' mug, the purchase and use of which had earned him some inquisitve glances from his father, but no questions.
He had hidden the kittens away inside his room, making sure to keep it locked at all times.
So far he was managing spectacularly. He had told Patty that he would clean his own room from now on, in preparation for college, and she had not discovered the kittens yet. To his dad he had said that the same shelter they had visited on graduation day had found an empty spot and accepted them.
He had developed a routine - everyday when Patty went out for grocery shopping, he would empty the litter boxes, fill up water and cat feed in the dispensers and brush their fur. He had installed a lock on his door, and made sure to leave it locked whenever he went out.
So far, so good. Nobody knew - not his dad, not Patty, and definitely not his mom, who had only been in the house for two days in the entire span.
The doorbell rang, telling him that Paxton and Trent had arrived to meet the cats.
"Oh, welcome! Ben is upstairs!" he heard Patty tell them.
Footsteps got louder and louder till Trent finally burst through his door.
"Where are they? Where are my nieces?"
"Trent, dude, not so loud man!" Ben warned, but he couldn't stop the smile from coming onto his face.
When he had found them, the two kittens had been on the verge of death. Thin and sickly, with dull fur, they barely had any energy at all, and would stay lying around and yawning all day long. Now, Ben had nursed them back to health, and they were happily climbing up their scratching post.
The only complaint he had was how aloof they stayed all the time. They made absolutely no efforts to return his affection and made no effort to get close to him, and bolted any time he tried to pet them.
He would call them ungrateful, but they weren't humans after all. Perhaps this was just how cats behaved.
"So, what are their names?"
Ben looked at Paxton for a moment before realising - he hadn't named them yet.
"You haven't thought of names yet, have you?"
"Uh, no."
"We'll help."
They both sat down on his bed and began gazing at the cats carefully.
This went on for some time. Just before Ben was about to interrupt, Trent finally spoke up.
"The white one is Taylor and the ginger one is Sadie."
On recieving confused looks, he explained further "She reminds me of Taylor Swift and she reminds me of Sadie Sink. Name your kids after great people and they shall become great themselves."
Before Ben could say anything in reply, the cats noticed that they had visitors in the room and bounded towards Trent. Jumping onto him, they began licking his face.
"Hey! They like the names!"
"Well," Ben said, smiling "Taylor and Sadie it is."
The very next morning they had little silver collars with Taylor and Sadie engraved on them, hanging around their necks.
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Ben stood as if ready to tackle, glaring at the white kitten. Taylor glared back - no one would make her take a bath if she did not want to take a bath.
A moment more of glaring, and Ben jumped onto her. Taylor let out a yowl and shot off towards the bed.
"Come back here, you little rascal! Don't get my bed all muddy!"
But Taylor refused to listen. Jumping on the bed, she left her muddy footprints all over the white sheets.
Ben had accidently left the window cracked open the previous day, and the more mischiveous one of his cats had taken the opportunity to escape out into the rain-filled muddy backyard. Ben had been trying to get her to take a bath in his tub ever since, but getting a cat near water was proving to be more difficult than imagined.
"You were fine with soaking around in the rain yesterday - what's the problem with my tub? It's still water!" he exclaimed as she attempted to run away from between his legs.
She was not succesful, however, for in that second Ben bent over and caught her.
She growled again as he held up her little kicking and squirming frame in victory.
That very moment, the door opened, revealing Patty on the other side.
Ben gulped - he had forgotten to lock the door.
"I can explain-" he began, but he was cut short.
"Oh little prince, did you really think you could keep a cat in this house for two whole months without telling me? Who do you think kept them clean this whole time? Come one, hand them over, I will give them both a bath."
Shocked, Ben handed Taylor over to her.
"Does-does Dad know?"
"Of course! He really liked your 'Best Cat Dad Ever' mug."
As Patty took the kittens away, Ben smiled to himself. So his dad did know him well enough to know his secrets after all.
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The news had put a damper in an otherwise splendid morning.
Ben had grown out of wanting his mother to return home. Now, he didn't feel anything but frustration when she was around, didn't wish for anything but for her to leave. It was better when she was away.
But that morning Patty had told him that she would be returning home for a whole week.
Way to ruin a boy's day.
He was shuffling about his room, reluctantly trying to find his jacket so he could go out and buy something nice for his mother.
Ever since the reveal that both Patty and his father were well aware of his pets, Ben had let them run free in the house. The very first day the two had run across the hall while he was they were eating breakfast, and his father had simply smiled in response.
Now he headed downstairs, calling out to them, but neither of them appeared.
Shrugging it off, he left for the grocery store. A box of chocolates would do nicely, he thought.
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Ben returned home to chaos.
His mother was apprently screaming at someone in the living room.
As he got closer, he could make out the words more clearly.
"How could you let those...those creatures stay in our house Howard? He picked them off the street!"
Of course, the very first thing she did after returning home was berating his pets. Anger bubbled up inside him, but he pushed it back down and entered the room smiling. His father was sitting on the couch, massaging his temples, while Vivian stood in front of him.
"Mom, you're back! I got you chocolates." he said, trying his best to fake happiness, holding out the box.
His mom didn't take it, and instead crossed her arms and glared at him.
"Ben, I told you to get rid of those cats."
"You did."
"But you didn't listen to me! They were in my house! I went to the fridge to get myself water and I found them rolling around on the kitchen floor!"
Ben paused for a moment.
"I wanted to keep them."
"I don't care! I told you to get rid of them! You have to listen to me, I AM YOUR MOTHER!"
Well, it's not like you ever behave like a mother.
"What did you just say?"
Did I say that out loud?
"What did you just say, you ungrateful brat?"
That was what did it. Something inside Ben's chest shattered into pieces. His eyes filled up with tears as he stared straight at his mother, having waited far too long to say what he needed to be said.
"I SAID, you never behave like a mother! You didn't show up to your only son's graduation ceremony, you didn't know that I got admitted into a ivy league, hell , you didn't even know who my girlfriend was! THAT IS NOT HOW MOTHERS BEHAVE! If only you actually had time left for me after all your retreats and spas and treatments, maybe you would realise you know nothing about me!"
Ben did not wait to find out her reaction. He did not turn around to face his dad who was calling his name. He did not look at Patty. He simply bolted up the stairs to his own room.
Locking the door, he jumped onto his bed with shoes still on, and buried himself under the covers. Trying his best to not let the tears fall, he tried to call his cats.
"Taylor? Sadie? Are you there? Taylor?"
Not one peep. They weren't here either.
For the first time in a long time, Ben felt absolutely alone. He had his dad, he had his friends, but he had never had a mom. She was right there, down the stairs, the woman who had given birth to him, but he had never had a mom. And for whatever reason, that was enough to make him feel the way he did.
He lay quietly for some time, not letting a single tear or a single sound escape. He refused to cry.
Suddenly, he felt something weighing down the bed beside him.
Taylor and Sadie both made their way underneath the blanket, finally lying down right beside Ben.
He turned to his side and tried to pat Taylor's fur. He gently touched her with his hand, afraid that she would run away any moment.
But she didn't. Instead, she let out a content purr and curled up into an even smaller ball of fur.
They were here. They were here with him.
He could not hold back the tears any more. But even through the sobs, he began to smile.
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"Take good care of them Patty!" Ben called to his housekeeper as he hugged both of his cats one last time.
"I'll be back for Thanksgiving and Christmas, alright?"
He finally got up to leave when Patty began hounding him about being late to the airport.
He got into the passenger seat beside his dad.
His mom hadn't spoken to him since his outburst that day. He had tried to get a hold of her, but had always come out empty handed.
Still, having let all of it out had left him feeling lighter than ever. This time, he noticed, he didn't really care about his mother's absence.
"I left all the instructions for food and water on a checklist on my desk. Vet visits every month, and -"
"Ben, relax, we got this. You're going to college, be excited."
Ben smiled and looked out the window one last time as the car started, at the two little fur balls that he had come across by accident, who had ended up claiming rather large pieces of his heart.
What's more, they had ended up healing large parts of it as well.
"Yeah, I'm so excited." he said, looking at the road ahead.
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Author's Note : I am so sorry for being SO LATE, but I have an excuse - I kept deleting and re-writing over and over again because this is the first time I'm showing something I've written to someone else. I'll be doing the other two prompts over the next two days as well.
Well, this ended up being sappier than I had thought earlier! Anyways, I always appreciate constructive criticism, but please be kind.
Thank you for reading!
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I have a friend coming to town from Europe that I haven’t seen in years. I know the area is well trodden but curious if there’s any suggestions for lunch on Saturday in river north? I don’t dine there often and I’m trying to get a spot near their hotel. I feel like lots of places can be hit or miss and I don’t want to disappoint! Also ok with nearby areas. Was thinking maybe XOCO? Thanks!

Hi lovely people,
We just came back from our first trip to Japan and it was truly a memorable trip. We spent over 3 weeks in Japan from 07th May until 30th May. WE LOVE JAPAN! Can't wait to come back.
A little bit about us: We are both ~30y olds and enjoy a mix of urban, outdoor and culture during our holidays. We are foodies, but not hard-core as in we don't specifically organize our trips around restaurants. There are so many restaurants in Japan, it is hard to get a bad meal. We enjoy just wandering around neighbourhoods. Mostly low/mid-budget stuff with a splurge once in a while.
Our travel itinerary can be found here
General comments

• Time period of travel: We arrived 7th of May which is the last sunday of Golden week. We specifically wanted to avoid Golden week, as we heard it can be crazy busy due to domestic travels. And we also didn't want to go too late in May because June is rainy season in Japan. We were pretty lucky with the weather overall as we only had a couple of days of rain, most days were sunny and we even had some days of sweltering heat :O
• Like other people suggest, try to get in shape before you go! We are both in average shape. Almost every day we walked around 20.000 steps or more. The only rest days we had were the days where we were switching between cities, i.e. sitting in trains for longer periods of time. No complaints ;). I brought two pair of shoes: water-proof hiking shoes and one pair of light-weight running shoes. Switching between shoes was nice, I didn't have any blisters during my time in Japan luckily. All the walking compensated all the eating though!
• Check whether region specific JR passes might work for you. We decided against getting the nationwide JR passes as they didn't fit our needs and were expensive and instead opted for a regional JR Setouchi area pass. It was perfect for the Shimanami Kaido. We could travel from Osaka to Onomichi -> Hiroshima/Miyajima -> Kyoto. And it also gave us access to Nozomi shinkansen (fastest) and a great ferry ride between Matsuyama and Hiroshima.

Japanguide has a nice overview of all the passes : https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2357.html

• Be flexible (That's how we like to travel). I mapped out most of the sights beforehand according to must-see's and mapped out what other interesting sights there would be in those areas. The day before or in the morning, we would decide what we would do roughly, sight-see according to neighborhood and just wing it a little bit. We just love to wander around and see what we come across, mixed with some google maps + "explore" function. Some days you are just tired and just want to hang out in a park, or you have temple-fatigue and want to do something entirely else. Same with food/restaurants, we usually just used google maps to see what kind of great restaurants were near us at that moment. We haven't lined up more than twice our whole time there and still ate wonderfully. We do tend to avoid overly hyped stuff anyways. I do keep in mind that everyone has their own ways.
• Buy e-sim if possible, it is the cheapest and easiest way. My partner bought an e-sim and it was so convenient! My phone unfortunately didn't support it and I had to buy a sim. I opted for getting one at BIC camera, which was the cheapest I could find. 10GB for 30 days for 3200 yen.
• Keep plastic bags for trash. Buying food from conbini, and eating it somewhere? say yes to that plastic bag, because you will need it to stash your garbage until you are back at your hotel where you can throw it away or you find a garbage bin at the train station per chance. I read about this a lot on this subreddit, but still I found it astonishing the lack of trash cans. Fascinating how the streets of Japan are so damn clean.
• Try Pokari sweat. :) I tried it for the first time there and I was hooked immediately. It is awesome! Best electrolyte drink ever and it definitely saved me during those hot sweaty days there. CC lemon is also great!
• Go for a haircut or some other beauty/massage treatment. The hospitality is amazing in Japan. You won't regret getting pampered in Japan. They have all kinds of crazy treatments. I got the best haircut of my life for 4400yen.

Trip report

PS. I am not mentioning everything we did in this post. I will just mention highlights. It is still a long read though ;).
D1 - D2 Osaka
We landed at Kansai airport. Before our trip, we also bought train vouchers for Osaka online (https://www.howto-osaka.com/en/ticket/). Best decision ever, because the journey was rough and we were exhausted by the time we landed. We only had to exchange our vouchers at the station and off we went.
Osaka was nice city to start with as it is a more manageable "smaller" city whilst recovering from our jetlag. Despite being smaller, I do think it is worth a visit. Osaka is so iconic at night. We stayed at a spacious Airbnb near Kuromon Ichiban market.

• Takoyaki :) We had our first try of takoyaki at Takotako King instead of one the places at Dotonbori to avoid the crazy lines. You can sit down, have a beer and yes the takoyaki is amazing. It should be crunchy on the outside and deliciously goeey on the inside, doused with sauces and katsuobushi. Man, I wish I could go back and eat it again. It is true, you can't get great takoyaki outside of Osaka, at least I didn't get that same crunchy gooey combo again in other cities.
• Discount sushi from Takashimaya department store. For the budget-minded, this is a no-brainer. Around 7PM, an hour before closing time, you can get delicious fatty tuna maki at discount prices in the basement of takashimaya. Other foods at the department store food floor such as the fresh mochi are delicious also. Takashimaya is my favorite department store for food I think!
• Osaka castle - Our first castle in Japan. The green roof and the golden ornaments are beautiful and unique!
• Dotonbori - iconic :) fun to walk along. The queues are long there. We avoided eating at Dotonbori.
• Shitenno-ji - beautiful pagoda with buddha statues inside. Do pay the fee to go inside and see the garden. You can also go into the pagoda and walk up.
• Huge fan of Shotengai's, Shinsaibashi-Suji Shopping Street. They are so quintessential Japan.
• Ramen Tendo, the first ramen joint that we tried in Japan, so it has a special place in my heart. They specialize in chicken broth with lots of umami katsuoboshi flavor. Noodles were great too, very bouncy. Delicious! Little did I know that this ramen joint was really one of the best we would have this trip. It set the bar high for sure!
• Visit a local grocery store. Maybe it is just me, but I love to browse at local grocery shops (KOHYO namba Minatomachi) and be fascinated by all the different things they sell. It is also a great place to buy food souvenirs, like miso, green tea etc. Lots of pre-cooked meals/ fried stuff. Just a wider selection than your typical conbini. And again discounts if you go ~1hr before closing time.

Skip Shinsekai: We visited during the day and it felt very empty to me. More like a tourist-trap, the eateries didn't look appealing to me. Maybe during the evening this area is more fun.
D3 Nara
We did Nara as a day-trip from Osaka.

• Yes, to feeding the deer. It is touristy, but it is so much fun to be chased by cookie-crazed deer. One more thing: deer's fart a lot. We were wondering where this weird high pitched sound was coming from, those are actually deer farts.
• Todai-ji is very impressive, definitely a must visit.
• Just wander around in Nara park, it's very lush and beautiful and has many more shrines and interesting sights, such as manyo botanical garden. I wish we had one more day to explore Nara but oh well maybe next time :)
• We ate lunch at Magura Koya, a small restaurant run by a lovely elderly couple. Delicious tuna dishes. I had a tuna sashimi bowl and my partner the fried tuna set meal, so fresh!
• We had the best pork bun at Hourokutei at the end of the Higashimuki shopping street. It's a small hole in the wall, but omg the squishy-est juicy-est porkbuns ever.

D4 Onomichi
After staying in Osaka for 3 days, we headed west for the Shimanami Kaido. We decided to stay in Onomichi (Hotel Beacon Onomichi) for the night before we started our two day bike trip. For this part of our trip, we picked up our 7-day Setouchi area pass at Shin-Osaka JR station. I just want to mention that I really love the hospitality of the staff in Japan. The JR office people were so nice and helpful. We reserved our seats for the shinkansen and off we went to Onomichi. Onomichi is a lovely little seaside town to just stroll around and take in the views. I really recommend spending at least half a day here. Don't skip it!

• Senkoji park observatory - we walked up to the observatory (ropeway available), please walk up as there are lots of nice alleyways, shrines and cats along the way :). The view is amazing, especially at sunset.
• Cat alley: honestly, every alley is cat alley.
• Onomichi Shotengai - very retro, lots of cute shops. We bought a nice poster from a little granny there.

D5 & D6 Shimanami Kaido -> Matsuyama
The next day, we picked up our reserved cross bikes from the general bike rental and off we went. Honestly, biking the shimanami kaido was the highlight of our trip. We took two days to bike the whole way, one day would definitely be too rushed for us. We stopped at Ikuchi island (Shimanaido NEST) for our halfway stay.
The sights along the way were great! It was so much fun to go down-hill, the uphills were do-able. We had great weather also, not too hot and no rain. Everything was clearly indicated, we just followed the blue lines. I felt very safe biking in Japan. PS. My butt did hurt from the saddle, so be warned! Bring some cushioned pants if you want to be safe side.

• First pitstop after the first bridge was Hassakuya. You have to stop here! They have delicious strawberry and citrus daifuku! The citrus had a bitter aftertaste, but they are famous for their citrus so its definitely nice to try.
• Just enjoy the views, stop everywhere to take pictures. There are lots of things to explore along the way.
• Stop at roadside stations such as > tatara shimanami park and yoshiumi iki-iki-kan. Especially before you take on the last bridge just do a little pit stop. It's a nice place to take some pictures of the insanely long bridge and have a citrus/vanilla soft cream.

https://shimanami-cycle.or.jp/ for more info and bike rental
We decided to bike one-way from Onomichi to Imabari and we have no regrets. I liked that we ended the bike trip with the longest bridge (4km!!). Imabari is very industrial, but after the fun long way down from the last bridge and being exhausted from biking you just want to get to the station and stuff yourself with pastries from the bakery at the station and go on to your next destination. Thus, we immediately took the train to Matsuyama. Originally, the plan was to enjoy the famous onsen in Matsuyama, but we didn't have enough time and we were also pretty tired. After checking-in at the hotel, it was already 4, we made our way to Matsuyama castle but unfortunately, we were too late to go in. It was still nice to view it from the outside and walk around the park. We planned to do sightseeing in Hiroshima the next day, so there was no more time to explore Matsuyama further.
D7 Hiroshima -> Miyajima
After Shiminami Kaido, we headed towards Hiroshima/Miyajima. We took an early ferry from Matsuyama. The ferry was included in the setouchi JR pass, so we gladly took advantage of that. It's a nice way to get to Hiroshima, just one last view of the Seto inland sea. One remark: if it is not JR serviced transportation, you do have to obtain separate tickets. Normally, just showing your setouchi JR pass is enough to get onboard the train, but for the ferry you do have to go to the ticket desk and show your JR pass to obtain the ferry tickets.

• Peace memorial museum - a history we must not forget and do not want to repeat
• We tried another Hiroshima speciality for lunch: Hiroshima Tsukemen. This tsukemen is GREAT. One of my favorite dishes. We ate at Tsukemen Karabu Tokaichimachi. The spicy umami dipping sauce is very addicting!

Surprisingly, it was very hard to find affordable good accommodation in Hiroshima. It was the weekend and two weeks before G7, so maybe that was the reason why it was harder to find accommodation. In the end, I found a nice simple hotel on Miyajima island and it was a good decision after all! After a long day in Hiroshima, we made our way to Miyajima to stay two nights. Staying on Miyajima island is lovely especially when all the day-trip tourist leave.
D8 Miyajima
Honestly, Miyajima is truly magical. Another highlight of our trip! We started the day early to get ahead of the crowd and that made it all so much more enjoyable. Seeing shrines and temples without a crowd is truly 1000x better! If you can stay at Miyajima island, do it! You don't have to splurge on expensive ryokan (although it would have been nice). We stayed at Sakuraya, which was very budget-friendly.

• Itsukishima Jinja - Nice but Daishoin and surrounding nature were the highlights for me.
• Daishoin - it is the most beautiful shrine complex I have seen in Japan this trip. I think it's because it was so quaint and it was embedded in the hill, surrounded by lush green nature. There were multiple complexes. There was a pathway studded with Jizo statues, buddist cave, prayer wheels and much more. While we were there, a ceremony with a monk was ongoing and everyone could participate in helping burning the origami peace cranes made by children, to make their wishes come true. We bought a little peace crane made from the ashes to remember this moment.
• Mt. Misen - we hiked up from Dashoin. It was ~2hrs? of steep stair climbing, 500m elevation gain. A challenge for sure but we definitely earned our way going down by ropeway :P. Views are great! go go! There is a bus to the ropeway so you don't have to suffer if you don't want to.
• Momijidani park - If you don't like Momiji trees, you can't be my friend.
• Snack along the Miyajima ometesando street. Crowded, but the cakes are great!

One remark, our hotel didn't include dinner and all the restaurants on the island close quite early. Luckily, with our setouchi JR pass, we could take the ferry for free, so went to the mainland for dinner. Just keep this in mind, when booking your stay.
D9 - D13 Kyoto
We took the early train to Kyoto and checked in at Tokyu stay Sanjo-karasuma. We had 5 days to explore Kyoto and by this time we had lost our FOMO a little bit and also decided to take it a bit more slow. We still ended up walking a lot anyways but at least we were sleeping in.
The day we arrived,15MAY, was supposed to be Aoi matsuri so we headed to Kamo river to see the festival. Unfortunately, the festival was postponed due to the slight rainfall and we had no clue! but we were next to Kyoto botanical garden and we decided to visit that instead!

• Kyoto botanical garden: it is a lovely garden with a huge variety of plants and trees to see. Really well maintained and during our visit there was a great rose garden in bloom. I recommend going there! It has a nice japanese garden section too with momiji trees and moss. A greenhouse with orchids. Lot's to see here. Only 200 yen.
• Arashiyama area - I really loved this area, not just for the bamboo forest. Togetsukyo bridge and Katsura river were the highlights for me. You can walk along the both sides of Katsura riverbank. A nice way to get to the bamboo forest and bypassing the busy beginning at the start of bamboo forest is by walking along the katsura river bank into Kameyama park and following the signs to Okochi sanso garden. You will end up at the backside of bamboo forest, which is the nicest part. We went more north to visit Pottery Tanuki, this area was very nice and quaint to walk around; bamboo, shrines and traditional houses everywhere.
• South kyoto - Fushimi Inari + Uji day trip - We visited fushimi inari around 9am and it was already very busy! If you hike deeper into the Tori gates, it gets more quiet. We decided not to hike to the top, but instead do a little loop and we stumbled upon some lovely fox shrines. After Fushimi Inari, we took the train just a little bit more south to Uji. If you like matcha, visit Uji. It is a scenic little town with lots of matcha specialized cafes. We ate at Torikiku, famous for their matcha soba and udon. I had the best matcha icecream dessert at Nakamura Tokichi Byodo-in. Again, the river views are beautiful! It's a great daytrip from kyoto. On the way back to kyoto, we spontaneously decided to visit the Gekkeikan Sake museum. It's a small museum, mostly about the history of Gekkeikan, but for 500 yen entry fee, you also get 3 small sake tastings. Fun for an hour or so. I wouldn't go all the way here just for the museum, but for us it was a nice stop on the way back to Kyoto.
• Gion - visit Gion in the evening and just wander around the little streets. Hanamikoji street is one of the more famous streets there.
• We ate amazing gyoza lunch at Gyoza-dokoro Sakemasa. Best gyozo of our trip.
• Higashiyama area - Heian jingu shrine, visit the attached garden for a fee, definitely worth it! We ate amazing mazesoba and ramen for lunch at Menya Yamahide. We also visited Kyoto handicraft center in this area where we bought an ukiyo-e painting. There was also a vintage antique market at that day. We just browsed a bit around the market and honestly that was a day worth of exploring :).

I didn't mention everything we did in Kyoto here. We also had so much more planned for Kyoto, but didn't get around to it, which was totally fine! We were also a bit temple-fatigued by that time and needed a slower pace. Hopefully next time, we can visit some of things we skipped. Furthermore, some days were incredibly hot (30 C degrees and humid) or we had whole days of rain. On those days, we decided to go shopping instead.

• Sanjo Meiten-gai shopping arcade , Compasso teramachi. One long shopping street between Omiya and Kyoto-kawaramachi station. My favorite shops were: Standard products, Tokyu hands and Loft.

D14 - D15 Takayama
After spending 5 days in Kyoto, it was time to leave the city and head for the Japanese alps. We took the shinkansen to Nagoya, where we changed to a limited express to Takayama. It took around 3 hours to get to Takayama, but we didn't mind. Train travel = resting time for our legs! Also, the views from the train were great!! I really enjoyed this train trip to Takayama. We arrived around noon and immediately checked in at our hotel (Hotel Kuretakeso Takayama). We had two nights in Takayama to explore the town.

• Hida beef - it's the wagyu of this area and I found my favorite place to eat it: Ajikura Tengoku. We went there twice for lunch, because it was that good. It was our first time in Japan to try yakiniku and sukiyaki. I really do appreciate the taste of wagyu but only in small amounts. I couldn't eat it everyday, because it's really so rich and yes paying for the premium cuts really does make a different in taste and texture of the wagyu beef.
• We really loved Takayama. Again, if you have time, stay overnight and wander around the streets during the evening when all the daytrippers leave. The town has such a nice vibe and it still has a very local feel to it.
• Miyagawa morning market. Fun to stroll around
• Hikaru museum - we stumbled upon this via google maps. It's a mayan temple-inspired building, very unique. You could visit the place just for the architecture itself, really impressive. It has a very nice collection of art. When we reached the top floor, there was a whole exhibition dedicated to a specific religious person. We didn't know beforehand but this museum is connected to a cult. Suddenly, it all made sense why this museum was so unique. We didn't mind, but it definitely puts the whole experience in a different light. It's a 1-hour walk from downtown, there is no direct bus connection unfortunately.
• Hida folk village - Open-air museum with nice re-builds of traditional mountain houses. We spend over half a day there. You can see local craftsmen doing their thing and you can also participate in pottery for example. There is a lovely pond and it is just pleasant to walk around. it's only a ~10 min. busride from Takayama bus station. You can buy combined entryfee+bus combo tickets at the bus station.

D16 Kamikochi -> Matsumoto
After checking out of our hotel in Takayama, we took the 7am bus to Kamikochi. We were only going to spend a day here, and then continue our way to Matsumoto to stay overnight.After ~1 hour of bus, we finally made it to Kamikochi. The Japanese alps are amazing. I wished we stayed longer in this area, but just the bus ride alone to Kamikochi was already a great with the views. We decided to hop off at Taisho pond bus stop and walk along all the major sights in the park. We had no specific plan. Just hike around as far as time allowed. For lunch, we stopped at this cute teishoku restaurant, where we ate katsu curry, a big lunch to fuel our walking. We also saw wild japanese macaques and lots of wildflowers where blooming during our time there.At the local shops, we bought some yummy pastries to snack on. I had the tastiest baumkuchen with cheesecake center and my partner had a chocolate ganache cookie. I really regret not buying more kamikochi pastries to take home while we were there.After spending the day walking around, we hopped on the 4pm bus towards Matsumoto. Checked in at Tabino hotel lit Matsumoto, where I relaxed in the onsen.
Tips:

• We were only carrying backpacks, so we hiked with them until we reached the kamikochi bus terminal, where you can drop off you bag at the storage for a small fee.
• Reservation is mandatory for the bus Kamikochi -> Matsumoto, you can do it online or while you are at the busstation before hiking.
• Transportation in the Japan alps is mostly by bus, do reserve ahead if you go at peak times. Main bus company is Nouhi bus: https://www.nouhibus.co.jp/english/.)

D17 Matsumoto Tokyo
After sleeping in, we did some sightseeing in Matsumoto before we moved on to Tokyo. We really liked wandering around in Matsumoto. Lots of cool shops with local crafts. We didn't know but the biggest national crafts fair is held in Matsumoto. Unfortunately, we were only able to stay for one day, but next time we would love to visit this crafts fair!
Matsumoto Castle - I really like the interior of the castle. It has been renovated, but still contains that castle feel. It is 5 story castle and you are allowed to climb all of it. It also included a pretty extensive gun/weaponry exhibition. Do arrive early because you do have to line-up within the castle to get from one floor to the other. This is due to the steep stairways, on which they allow only one-way traffic at a time.
Matsumoto city art museum - There was a nice exhibition from Yayoi Kusama. We didn't know but Yayoi Kusama was born in Matsumoto. It is a good replacement exhibition if you aren't able to snatch up tickets for Yayoi Kusama museum in Tokyo.
Nakamachi street and Frog street - street with persevered houses with craft shops, cafes, brewerys. What more do you want.
After spending the day in Matsumoto, we took the train to Tokyo, our last destination of our stay. We decided to stay in Ueno (Hotel resol ueno). This hotel was located close to Ueno JR.
D18 - D24 Tokyo
Last 7 days in Tokyo. By this time, we were just enjoying everything at a much slower pace. Tokyo is huge! Staying near the JR line is indeed a must like everyone said. I could go on hours about Tokyo, I am just going to mention some highlights here.

• Anmitsu at Anmitsu Mihashi. My favorite dessert! It contains agar jelly, mochi balls, red bean paste, fruit and a scoop of matcha icecream.
• shopping in Ginza - It's nice to go during the weekends when they close of the streets for cars. We liked visiting flagship stores of Muji, Uniqlo. Go to Itoya if you are a stationary freak.
• Ueno park - Museums, shrines, Lotus pond. Have a look at their website, there are almost always events in the park. :)
• Tsukiji market - very busy, but fun to have a look. Lines everywhere. Look for sushi restaurants that open around 11am, line up at one of those places. I don't think it has to be the one with 4.5 rating and 1000 reviews. Why? There are so many good restaurants in Tsukiji area. We went to Tsukiji Kagura Sushi.
• Hamarikyu gardens - Bonsai pine trees pruned to perfection. Ponds filled with sea water, thus there were seabass, little sardines and jellyfish in the water. Very special! You also had a nice skyline view from the park which is a cool contrast! It was nice and quiet.
• Tokyo Skytree - best view :) it also has a great shopping complex attached to it.
• Asakusa area - Senso-ji
• Yanaka Ginza - we went during the weekend and there was live music, little stalls and just very lively in general. Really nice to spend a morning. Largest preserved cemetery, which apparently welcomes visitors a lot for flower viewings. It is a preserved neighborhood with traditional houses and lots of shops selling crafts, gifts, souvenirs, and unique snacks.

That's it!
For 24 days, we spend around ~2500 euro p.p. (excl. 1000,- flights). This amount includes food, transportation, entrancefees and shopping/gifts. so average is ~100 euro/day. We didn't track every cost. Hotel costs were 900,- pp, which ranged from 50,- to 120,- per night accommodations. The conversion yen/euro is also great at the moment, so it might have contributed!
I hope you enjoyed my trip report. Let me know if there are any questions.

Two weeks ago, I was in South America visiting some friends. My first night there, my friend and I are walking into the hotel to go to bed and as I pass the lobby bar I notice a this man sitting by himself at one end. We make eye contact and I tell my friend I’m going to stay up for a while and try to meet him. I go to the bar and send him a drink, he picks it up with his left hand I note that he’s not wearing a ring and text that info to my friend who is like “yes!! Go for it!!” I walk over to talk to him and was in his room within 10 minutes. He was prepared. Had wine, condoms, body hair was very manicured. After we did the deed and we’re laying there cuddling and chatting, I make a stupid joke and say “does your wife know you’re with me right now?” to which he just laughs and says there’s no wife.
I end up spending the night and when I leave the next morning, we exchange numbers. We were both traveling to Europe later that week, each for work, but me to Italy and he to Spain. He follows me on instagram, no sign of a partner, and we start chatting all day every day there and on WhatsApp. After 9 days he convinces me to come stay with him in spain after wrapping up my work. I add two nights to my trip and way too much in flights to go stay with him. So Tuesday of this week I fly to spain, we go to dinner together and he is sweet as anything. I feel so into him and on Wednesday spent nearly the whole day in bed with him with some intermittent walks where we had deep talks about our lives and emotions. I asked him if he’s ever been married, had kids, had a pet, has he ever cheated on someone. He seemed so genuine when he said no.
Wednesday evening we’re at dinner and he tells me he’s tired of life on the road. He says he wants a real relationship and feels sad that he’s met me and can’t spend more time with me and that he wants to switch his career and is having a third-life crisis. I felt so sad for him! Smh. I was holding his hand across the table and reminding him that it was because of his transient nature that we could meet and reunite so quickly in the first place, and I offer to fly out more in the future to continue visiting him. He’s also due to be in my city in the US (he’s English) in October and I offered for him to stay with me. He acted like this wasn’t enough and I felt bad for him that he seemed to have such strong feelings (lol).
Wednesday night he slept fitfully and I kept waking up to him clinging to me and it was frustrating. I woke up yesterday morning early to catch my flight home and he’s laying in bed looking sad, then he says “do you normally get into men’s heads this much?” And he keeps telling me that I’m trouble and it was making me feel strange. He says I’m better at not getting attached than he is and I said I just wasn’t sad because I knew it wasn’t the end, it was just the beginning (LOLLL). He walked me out to my cab and kissed me goodbye and kept in touch all day long.
I get home yesterday evening and he video calls me and for a moment I thought I noticed a ring on his left hand and immediately asked about it. He laughs it off and I let it go. I was showing him my apartment and he comments on how my apartment is such a metaphor for who I am because it seemed like a lonely place and then he called me broken and said I’m afraid to be emotionally available and started asking if my ex husband hurt me so badly that I couldn’t trust people anymore. I rejected this psychoanalysis and said that while yes, I am independent, I have lots of friends and a pet and I don’t feel lonely. He started talking more about how attached he felt to me and I told him that maybe he feels lonely because he’s on the road touring all the time, and I asked who his best friend is. He started to cry and hung up on me.
I felt terrible and like maybe I hurt his feelings and I apologized to him over text and asked if he’d like some space. He sent back a weird cryptic message that said
i am a douche... and i think i know that so that why its hard for me to hear. I have met you who's awesome, your zest for life and drive is inspiring and refreshing, but i also have not been truthful. My actions over the last week could/will hurt people... and i dont want that to happen... i dont want you to hurt, or feel hurt, or be depressed or hate me, but i also dont want to hurt those who i should be faithful to. My loneliness is damaging to everyone around me... i feel like i have been more authentically me whilst simultaneously lying through my teeth and that is the "problem". I feel trapped between what i know i should do and what feels right. And even whist writing this... which is so hard to do and admit Im a douche... all i want to do it turn on the camera, look at your face and could happily sit in silence looking at you in awe of your passion for your dog magnets and pens... and yet my being dishonest with you will hurt and damage you, it would certainly damage my home relationships and i don't want anyone to hurt. My inability to be fulfilled and my now newly recognised acknowledgment of being lonely then make me question everything about my life.... Im sorry... so sorry
I immediately replied “are you married?” To which he said “yes”. I was a bit crushed, disappointed, creeped out, and massively angry for his wife. I was also triggered to the emotions of relationships I’ve been in where I was cheated on. I sent him a few explosive messages and told him to grow up and stop feeling sorry for himself.
I couldn’t sleep all night after this and I ended up looking him on Facebook. Yep. Wife of ten years. Beautiful wedding photos. 5 year old son, she stays home to care for the child while deadbeat dad traverses the world fucking women who are 8 years younger than him. Finally at 5 in the morning I get out of bed and realized I had a UTI. I start thinking about the possibility of him giving his wife an STD. I’m completely seething at this point. I unblock him and tell him that either he is telling her or I am and it’s happening today. He starts pleading with me and doesn’t acknowledge her emotions once, just that he’s going through so much, he didn’t realize he was lonely until I said it, he’s going to change and be better. I was emotionally dead to all of his pleading until he finally messaged her the following:
im so sorry... I have cheated on you... I have made the biggest fuck up of my life. When I was in Brazil I met someone... I am in such a bad head space... im sorry. She then met me in Barcelona... Im having a break down here... I didn't tell her I was married... I regret my actions so much... I cant phone you yet im stuck in the office... but please I would like to talk later... I promise it has never happened before... im so sorry... Obviously I know I fucked up... obviously I didnt want to tell you as I know it will rip our world apart... but to be clear... I don't want to loose you..... ive been a cunt... a dick... an asshole... I know I have... I want to be accountable for my actions.but I don't want to loose you... I am so ashamed of what I have done.... I told the woman involved last night…... And obviously she is mad... and want to also hold me accountable.. so she says she's going to message you to make sure ive told you.... Im so so so so so so SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry.....I need therapy
(For the record I will not actually message his wife for confirmation. I do believe he actually sent the text)
After that I just felt sick and sad. I felt like she HAD to know, he tells me he’s never done this before and that’s why he’s so upset now but he had his ring off at the bar and he pursued me for over a week after we’d had the one night stand. I didn’t consent to being an affair partner, I would never. I’m also sad because I really liked him and I feel used and disappointed. And that of the two of us, I’m the one who seems to have more empathy for the woman he’s supposed to love. Luckily my friends are kind and uplifting to me so I have support and I know this won’t get me too down. A couple of my guy friends said I shouldn’t have gotten involved and shouldn’t have made him tell her. My women friends are very glad that I did.
When he showed me had messaged her I said Okay. Good luck with everything. Hope you get your life sorted. It’s not the end of the world but you’ve got a turbulent road ahead and I hope you learn from that and come out stronger and happier. I really liked you and thought you were one of the good ones. Really sad to find out the truth. All the best and please if you’re really feeling like you’re having some kind of mental health thing and you’re a danger to yourself, get help. Do actually get a therapist, know the emergency numbers, and reach out to your family if you need help.
I then blocked him and I feel bad for him weirdly and even feel I may have been too harsh with him. I was really harsh when I’d first messaged him - called him a child, said his behavior was gross, and when I made him tell his wife I said I didn’t care about his feelings. I wonder why he even told me the truth. What if he kills himself. What if it ruins an otherwise healthy marriage and causes trauma to his child. I feel like shit because at first I felt bad for him thinking he was sad that we couldn’t be together yet (lol) but now I’m realizing he was just anxious and panicking that I was going to find out about his marriage and blow his cover. Im out and about today and refusing to mope around about this, but it’s just such a sad situation all around. I don’t know if I made the choice but I am thinking that whether I did or didn’t, keeping him blocked is the best option.

Chapter Sixty Six: Plotting with Puppy
Entering into the entrance hallway of the apartment Simone tentatively holds up her hand to inform the other two women to wait.
”Something wrong?” Chak asks before looking down at Zrume who sits at her side vigilantly.
The animal’s ears perk up and nostrils flare silently, keeping her own tabs on the situation.
“Hope not, but…” Simone replies in concerned thought, “While I was stranded on the Gratt homeworld and just getting to know Meeki, she was chased and attacked by big burly dogs like Zrume here. Not the same breed of course, but I wanna check in with her before waltzing in, you know? Her only experience with dogs being like that, she probably needs a warning.” she informs.
Chak’s eyes widen slightly and she quickly nods.
“Oh, of course. Yes, that’s a good idea.” she agrees before placing a lower limb on the mutt’s big head.
“Surprised you accepted taking it! You seemed very scared of it at first.” Sonla comments, having been keeping her own distance from the animal thus far.
“She’s a little scary, certainly. Definitely intimidating in size and stature…” Chak grants, “But that look in her eyes… she’s without a doubt a very good natured girl.” she says while gently petting the dog.
“I think so too, but we’re gonna have to be careful introducing her to everyone and make sure she knows who’s a friend. Don’t want her thinking any of them approaching you is of concern.” Simone says before walking ahead to enter the apartment, “You guys wait here, I’ll just be a sec.”
Entering the apartment proper, Simone looks around the circular center hub space. There’s a faint smell of pizza in the air as the empty boxes are still resting on the counter island in the kitchen area. However there is no sight of either Gratt or Terran outside their disheveled mess in the center media couch.
Simone would have felt a but more concerned with how late the three seems to be sleeping in, but the evidence around reveals that they just have been up late having fun while they can.
However, knowing that she still can’t surprise them with the pouch, she walks over to the Gratt’s room and knocks her knuckles against it.
Though when Troy answers it dressed in nothing but a blanket Simone looks over to the other room doors confused.
“Oh, morning dude. Sorry, did I forget who’s room is who’s?” she asks in a chuckle.
“Nope.” the sheepish man replies as he rubs the sleep from his eyes, “Uhm… shoot. Yeah, uhm… Meeki and Nodrin are just waking up too, need me to get ‘em out for ya?” he says as his cheeks redden.
Simone’s eyes gradually expand in realization as she tilts her head enough to see the partially collapsed fortress of pillows and blankets. Nodrin pokes their head and upper torso out from the draping wall in a stretch, while another pair of loving Gratt hands massage their torso in the usual process of separation.
“Hmmmm… morning good Simone.” Nodrin groggily utters as they more fully pull away from their softly chittering partner in a crawl out.
Returning her eyes back to Troy to grant the nude Nodrin a bit of privacy, Simone clears her throat and rubs the back of her head.
“Wow… It looks like you guys had a hell of a time. Uhm… congrats? It seems like it went well. Right, ahh… Yeah...” Simone rambles with several streams of thoughts going through her mind, but she eventually snaps to it by raising her voice slightly, “Meeki? Nodrin? I need you two to get dressed and step out asap. There’s something I need to run by you guys before Chak comes into the apartment.” she calls out to the Gratt before winking at Troy and stepping away and scavenging one of the few remaining cold slices of pizza in the fridge.
“Okay!” Meeki’s voice replies before Troy closes the door to get dressed himself.
Simone updates Chak on the situation with her Lens as she leans against the kitchen island, and only waits for about a minute before the three hurry on out more appropriately garbed. For the most part.
Troy is still shirtless as he wanders out and approaches the kitchen area and starts digging through the cupboards.
Meeki and Nodrin run up to the island by Simone and sit up on the stools. The female wears a gray shirt that’s way too big for her, answering why Troy’s outfit is incomplete.
“Well I’m not seeing much guys, we can try ordering in again. But there’s enough to work with here for some quick and dirty pancakes. Not seeing any syrup or jam, but I think I can make something real quick with these frozen fruit packs in the freezer. Maybe I’ll just throw ‘em into the batter and see if it works out?” Troy tells the duo, seeming to have picked up a conversation they were having while getting dressed, “Oh! And bacon! At least… something that looks like bacon. Definitely not from a Terran animal so I can’t be sure if it’ll cook the same.”
“Sounds much good!” Nodrin agrees as they rest their head in their hands, watching the half dressed Terran get to work, very much enjoying the show.
“What we need to discuss?” Meeki inquires the nearby redhead.
Simone nods before finishing off the slice in her hand.
“Chak and I brought some new friends back home with us, and I wanted to give you a heads up. Probably should’ve messaged ahead… but let’s just say we were a bit distracted. One of them is a Vorook named Sonla. She’s a bit of an infiltration expert and I have a good idea of what she can do in case things don’t go to plan. That said, hold back on details with her for now.” Simone says, to which the Gratt nod, “And… the other is a security service animal that was gifted to Chak by the Z’ah’tuck ambassador. Long story.”
“And I thought we had a wild night… Did you even manage to have that date?” Troy says over his shoulder as he mixes wet and dry ingredients in a bowl.
“Yes, actually. It was amazing, all this other stuff happened afterwards. Anyway, Meeki, Nodrin. I want to clear it with you before bringing the animal in because… it’s a dog. Meeki, I know for a fact that your introduction to dogs was harrowing to say the least, because they were the animals those Gaia people used while invading your home.” Simone addresses the two green folk, seeing a bit of confirmation of her concern in the responding fearful Gratt eyes looking to the entrance door of the apartment.
“The four legged beasts with fur?” Meeki inquires a bit nervously.
“Yep. But I assure you that this one will mean you no harm. Those Dogs that attacked you before were raised and trained to do so. But dogs themselves are domesticated animals that are broadly safe to be around, as long as you don’t make yourself a threat to them. And even then, they may just cower from ya rather than fight. That said, Chak’s new dog Zrume is trained to be a kind of bodyguard. It’s important to know to not act aggressively towards Chak when she’s ‘on duty’, alright? However I’d like to socialize her with you guys here in a sec while she’s ‘off duty’. You know, to make sure she understands you two are friends and permitted near Chak in times of crisis. Is it okay with you two to let them in?” Simone elaborates.
“So… this dog is nice?” Meeki questions for full confirmation.
“Chak called her a sweetheart herself. And I completely agree. As long as you don’t bum-rush Chak for some reason as soon as she walks in, you will be perfectly fine. Just don’t stare into her eyes until she’s comfortable around you. For dogs direct eye contact can be seen as a threat.” Simone answers, “Ready?”
Meeki blinks as she watches the door for a moment longer.
“Yes. Is okay to bring them in.” she nods.
The redhead pats Meeki’s shoulder reassuringly and messages Chak, informing her that she is cleared to enter.
Everyone within the apartment turns to get a look as the entrance opens up to the Cali princess holding a leash to an animal that weighs more than she does.
Meeki relatively takes hold of Nodrin’s hand, but otherwise remains calm as the god is brought closer to the kitchen area.
Chak stops and pulls up a list of provided commands that the canine is trained in.
“Zrume, at ease. Safe zone.” she states firmly, hoping that she did it correctly.
Immediately, Zrume’s posture loosens and even becomes a little wiggly as as she looks down and begins sniffing the ground and nearby furniture within range of the leash’s allowance. Although the leash straightens out, the gentle creature doesn’t pull against her owner’s grip, instead simply shifting her focus to something else.
Quickly that focus comes upon the two Gratt still sitting on stools. Coming closer with caution, Zrume approaches the strangers carefully.
“Lower your hands with palms out, let her say hi first.” Simone advises.
Nodding Meeki slowly obliges, twitching slightly as the animal starts to sniff her clawed hands. Then in a side-rub against Meeki’s legs the dog opens its mouth in a relaxed grin exposing her tongue.
Feeling like permission is granted, Meeki starts to pet Zrume’s shaggy fur along her vertical back.
Nodrin then lowers their hands as well for another sniff-inspection before being enthusiastically allowed to join in on the petting.
Meeki’s nerves gradually fade as the animal proves to be indeed very friendly and well mannered. Nothing like the animals that intended to tear her to shreds way back when.
“Hello Zrume.” she says in a relieving sigh.
At the sound of her name being spoken by this new person the dog arches her head back and up at the Gratt female. Her expression being only what can be defined as ‘goofy sweetness’ with big expressive eyes and a heavy swinging of her happy tail.
Simone covers her mouth, trying to not snort a laugh upon seeing the dog’s dorky nature. Removing her bag from her shoulder she turns to look at Sonla who has been very quietly looking around the apartment and the folks within.
“And this is Sonla. Sonla, this is Nodrin, Meeki and Troy.” the redhead introduces with a moving hand gesture.
The monkey-like lizard stood up from walking on her knuckles to give everyone a wave.
“Hi.” she says a bit awkwardly.
“Welcome to the circus!” Troy greets as he pours his pancake-fruit mixture into a heated and buttered pan. Leaving it for just a moment he leans over on the island and gives the Vorook a big smile, “Want any pancakes? I might have made a bit too much batter while trying to even out the texture.” he offers.
“I’m an obligate carnivore, so no thanks.” Sonla replies as she settles back on her thickly scaled knuckles.
“Oh, sorry, right. My bad.” Troy chuckles as he rubs the back of his neck, “Uhh… what about some bacon? The animal is uhm…” he turns sound to closely read the chilled packaging for the answer, “Premium cloned loamph? Not really sure how ‘premium’ cloned stuff is, but we got it!”
The man flips the package in the air with one hand while the other gives the lizard lady a thumbs up.
“Yes!” Sonla immediately replies as she maneuvers up to the remaining stool by the island, and adjusts it to compensate for her shorter stature.
“You got it!” Troy says with a finger-gun before turning around once more to tend to his cooking.
After a short while seeing the dog is handling the situation well, Chak takes off the leash. Zrume takes this opportunity to step away from the Gratt and further explore the space around her.
“She’s very nice.” Meeki says as she watches the animal sniff around everything that was in her path, “She play or no?” the Gratt inquires curiously.
“Oh yeah. I imagine she’d be happy to play things like fetch and tug-of-war. In fact Chak already ordered toys, food, a bed and a waste pad system to be eventually delivered to the Kwip-chap.” Simone answers before her fiance pressed up against her in a side hug.
“It’s only sensible to be prepared now, rather than later.” Chak defends in a chuckle as she keeps an eye on the pouch, “I just hope the children will like her.”
“I’m sure they will.” the redhead replies as she gently rubs the Cali’s back.
Meanwhile Sonla finds herself staring up directly at Nodrin with an unreadable expression.
“You… alright?” Nodrin asks.
“Why do you have four eyes?” Sonla bluntly counter-questions.
“Ah- uhm… because I was born with four? As most Gratt are. Four eyes not all that strange when it comes to other species. Truba, Carvv and Hallo as examples.” Nodrin answers, confused by the question,
“Well duh, but I mean why does your species have four eyes evolution wise?” Sonla clarifies, “Carvv and Hallo have four to see different light spectrums, and Dillo needed six to look upwards for falling debris in sandstorms and cliffsides. Runeani have eight! I think that is because they needed good depth perception.”
“Oh, so you much study biology science?” Nodrin assumes.
“No. It’s just kinda creepy to look at without context.” Sonla bluntly responds with a shrug,
Nodrin leans back a bit, finding themself a bit offended.
“Much rude… but if it make you comfortable to be around us then I’ll answer the best I can.”
“Sorry. But yes, it’ll help.” Sonla says, although to the Gratt her tone can stand to be a bit more apologetic.
“Very well. They help get more clear vision in dark places. Mostly they help us with close inspection and far distance seeing.” Nodrin explains before pointing at their pair of eyes furthest from the center of their face, “But outer eyes are much special. Our ancestors were aquatic animals and so Gratt’s outer eyes still have extra clear lids to see underwater.”
“Oh. Aquatic?” Sonla questions, “Where did head fur come from then? Are you like mammalian?” she adds with more genuine curiosity.
“I… don’t know…” Nodrin admits, “Gratt study past ancestors much, but we still know little. Though hope new tech from the stars can help with all our sciences.”
“I saw Terran article that said we closely resemble… uhm…” Meeki inserts herself into the conversation before trailing off as she forgets the classification used, “One moment…” she utters as she navigates her Lens to find the article she found, “Ah! Synapsids! Not exactly like, but much comparison. So we are compared to ‘Mammal-like reptiles’.”
Sonla blinks before looking back as the roar of bacon hits a hot pan.
“Huh… Neat!” she replies, “Vorook can’t really swim very well. We tend to sink and even if we don’t we are too top heavy so our heads get stuck underwater. Very funny to see, but also sad. But we are really good at climbing! We can hold on to and dangle from things for long periods of time!”
“But not holding on to speeding shuttles roofs, huh?” Simone teases, as she maneuvers her positioning to get a better line of sight on the sizzling bacon.
“N-no… Well maybe, if it didn’t get so cold so fast.” Sonla says,
Troy looks back at his fellow Terran with a furrowed brow.
“What did you guys get yourselves into?” he says as he breaks into a bewildered laugh.
“I’m sure you’ll know soon enough when you get the chance to look at the news. But by the end of it Chak managed to secure overwhelming Z’ah’tuck support for her and her efforts to take back the throne. Like… military support. Granted, they have a lot to gain from it, but so do we.” Simone reveals as she finds herself a bit closer to the plate where the man was putting down the greasy strips of crispy goodness.
Chak then lets out a genuinely humored giggle that borders on outright laughter.
Confused, Troy looks to Simone then to his other side where Chak is looking. Having somehow sneaked up on him, Zrume sits there while gazing up at him with big pleading eyes with a little line of drool dripping from her maw. Noticing that he is boxed in he turns to Simone and aims his tongs out at her.
“You already pillaged our leftovers, you can wait a few minutes for bacon!” he states sternly in his fake parental tone before turning to the dog.
“Sorry pupper… way too much sodium for you. It’ll upset your guts real bad.” he sweetly apologizes.
As he addresses the canine, Simone swiftly reaches over and silently snatches two hot strips from the plate and retreats back before he is able to notice.
“You motherf-” Troy laughs once he sees both Simone and Chak snacking on the stolen goods, but knowing he would do the exact same drops it immediately.
Simone smirks in victory as she wanders over to the circular center couch to make herself comfortable as they all wait for their other Terran comrades to return from their own mysterious mission.
-
“Well that wasn’t a complete disaster…” Brandy mutters as she strides ahead of Thorn and Devin with her arms crossed while marching into the apartment entrance hallway.
“Hard to believe we weren’t caught after that water tank collapsed… Almost didn’t have the time to scrub us from all the crossing security footage.” Devin groans in a low grumble.
“Getting caught? How about -oh you know- nearly crashing that tanker shuttle into a residential area!?” Brandy snaps back.
“Not my fault that the pilot passed out.” Devin argues.
“Sorta was, that kinda happens when you jumpscare a Zernth from behind like you did.” Brandy counters.
“It was either lose the target or try to convince the Zernth to turn left.” Devin sighs before he feels a mechanical hand press on the back of his shoulder.
Pushing him to hurry up, Thorn catches up with Brandy where he plants his other hand.
“Mmhmm. Not our best work. But we got the bastard and actually convinced the Squilla ambassador to help us out in our little operation here. Other than some spilled water, we managed to pull it off without a hitch. I say we all learn from the experience and get to what’s further down the trail. Remember what’s at stake.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But still… it’s those stakes that make every mistake feel like I’ve wronged the entire universe. Like it’s heavier than it has any right to be.” Brandy replies as she reaches the door, “One fuck up and who knows how many people will be hurt from it down the line…”
“Aye… but in the grand scheme of it all your actions have had the same weight your entire life, because it led you here doing what you’re doing. Still, you're right, it’s a lot to bear on the heart.” Thorn grants, “My advice? Take a note from Simone’s book. Just keep moving forward and rest in the arms of whoever you want to hold ya.”
“I honestly don’t know how she copes. It’d drive me into a downward spiral of stress and paranoia going through half of what she has.” the woman huffs as she reaches to open the door via indicator.
“Don’t compromise who you are, and preserve your capability to love throughout all of the hell life will march ya through. It’ll hurt, but it’s worth it because that’s how you win life.” the old man states right before the door opens.
“Yooo! Bout time! You guys want some cold pancakes? I can reheat ‘em if you’d like!” Troy cheers from the couch with two Gratt resting at his sides.
“I hope you three have moved from the couch at some point…” Brandy says with an exaggerated eye roll, “Have a good night?”
“Yeah we did!” the man answers both of Brandy’s sentences at once.
“I’m going to set up to get our finalized planning underway. Ten minutes.” Devin notifies as he peels off to his room.
“Good. I hear we have a new member to the crew?” Thorn says as he strides in with his hands on his hips.
As if summoned, Sonla’s head peeks out from behind the other side of the couch.
“That’s me! Master infiltrator Sonla at your service!” the Vorook introduces herself, now standing proudly upon the headrest.
“Master eh? Good… We’re definitely gonna need a master’s handiwork in our lil’ operation.” Thorn chuckles as he scratches at his five o'clock shadow.
“We were also told that we have a doggie?” Brandy asks as she looks around for any trace of the animal.
“Yup! Simone and Chak were just showing her off to their kids in a call.” Troy explains as he thumbs to their room.
As if summoned by Troy’s opposable digit, the door opens with Chak once again holding the leash of the dog.
“Welcome back, I hope everyone is alright?” the princess inquires as she guides Zrume out to meet Brandy first, “At ease, safe zone.” she reminds the animal.
“Why hello there! Oh my goodness I’ve never seen a breed quite like hers before! Like a big pitty and… African painted dog maybe? Has the color at least. Definitely some others mixed in there too, hint of mastiff or something else chunkier? But still all the pretty in a fluffy package!” Brandy says as she scratches under the dog’s wide neck, which is very much approved.
Though the angle of Zrume’s ears change to one of caution and alertness. Turning her head towards the old man who had yet to approach she released a low growl.
“It’s okay Zrume, safe zone.” Chak assures, but the animal’s stare remained intense on the cybernetic man.
Seeing the confusion and concern on everyone’s faces, Thorn raises his hand.
“Don’t worry about it, dogs and I don’t really mix. A shame really, but it’s something to do with how my non-organic bits emit a sound they find very agitating. Like a walking annoying dog whistle. I’ll see if Devin can do anything about that, but in the meantime it’s best if the dog and I keep separate.” he explains.
“Oh damn. Yeah I guess dogs never really approached you before. Bummer. I guess while we sort things out we’ll have her chill in our room.” Simone says apologetically.
“And I’ll bunk up when she needs some runnin’ around time.” Thorn nods back appreciatively, “She’s downright adorable by the way.”
As Chak turns back around to lead Zrume back in her room for the time being, Troy’s eyes go wide and he points at Simone dramatically.
“Shit dude I almost forgot! Someone came asking for you by name.” he reveals.
Looking to him with a bit of fear in her eyes Simone gave him her full attention.
“Who?” She demands.
“Don’t worry I never confirmed you were actually here and she seemed… not like the people we’re up against. She was a tall thin lady who said she was a friend of yours from your academy days? She left a contact card and before you ask, yes I scanned the hell out of it. She seemed to really really want to talk to you.” the man explains as he feels around his pockets and when he finds nothing he shoves his hand down the crevice of the couch until he victoriously pulls the card out of the furniture-void.
He holds it out to which Simone accepts hesitantly.
“Yeah, okay…” she mumbles while looking at either side of the card.
“Just be careful, our options of people who we can trust from your military career are thin at best.” Thorn cautions.
“I know. And… I think I know who it is. Honestly I have no clue how involved she is, if at all… but it’s quite the coincidence she shows up now of all times.” Simone admits.
“Is she gonna be a problem for what we’re planning to do?” Brandy asks.
“If she has nothing to do with the Terran terrorists, then I don’t think so. I’d ignore this completely, but I ought to at least know what she wants to talk about, clearly she knows I’m here anyway. No point in avoiding it, especially if she seeks me out during our operation regardless of her intentions we’re asking for trouble. The other big issue of course, is that she’s still with the Terran Union. This could just be a ploy to get me arrested and into Union custody.” the redhead says as she taps the card in the palm of her other hand.
“Then wherever she wants to meet I’ll come with you.” Chak announces as she returns to her Terran, “I’ll even request for Ambassador Zrreak’s attendance if possible, or at the very least have a representative of his there to show that arresting you would be a terrible political nightmare for the Union.” the princess adds sternly with an affirmative nod.
“Damn you're so hot when you get like this…” Simone replies in jest to alleviate her own nerves, “But yeah, I appreciate it.”
“But first before any of that potential shit-show…” Thorn says as he crosses his arms, “It’s time we put our main plan to paper. We have a president to possibly kidnap and hold at gunpoint after all.”
“Oh… wow. That’s a bit more than ‘less than legal’...” Sonla mutters with wide eyes “Good thing I’m a master of explosives too…”

Godzilla

GRAWWWWWWWWR

The Calico is a research vessel that sails all around the world investigating mysterious phenomenon. This often results in the ship's crew encountering all sorts of monstrous creatures and other dangers, but luckily they have friends in low places. With a push of the button (or a scream from their pet monster Godzooky), they are able to send a signal into the ocean's depths, summoning Godzilla to their aid. Using his fire breath, laser eyes, and incredible strength, Godzilla acts as a protector of humanity that constantly finds himself doing battle with other monsters and generally helping people that are in danger.

Strength

Striking

• Smacks away the Firebird with his tail, a monster that is a comparable size to him^S1E1
• Claws through a volcano's exterior^S1E1
• Knocks aside a seaweed monster with his tail^S1E5
• Merely stumbling into a rock formation causes large amount of debris to break off an fall on top of him^S1E6
• Jams his fist into a monster that later was totally unaffected by helicopter blades^S1E11
• Smacks aside an energy blast that had blown apart some large rocks^S2E4
• Hits the corner of a pyramid with his tail, causing a section as large as he is to crumble^S2E4
• Rapidly swipes away large abouts of rock, digging a canal through an island for a submarine to pass through^S2E6
• Tackles a golden statue that is roughly his size^S2E9
• Punches through a rock wall^S2E11
• Smashes its head through a layer of rock^S2E11
• Smashes a rocket through several layers of rock to the ocean floor^S2E11
• Knocks over an airport control tower with his tail after destabilizing it with his lasers^S2E12
• Uses a giant icicle to knock down an ice formation^S2E13
• Punches through a giant wall of ice^S2E13

Lifting/Throwing
Other Monsters

• Picks up the Earth Eater before beginning to wrestle with it on the ground^S1E2
• Picks up a giant stone monster and slams it to the ground^S1E3
• Spins and throws a Megavolt monster while underwater^S1E4
• Carries a giant seaweed monster onto land despite its resistance^S1E5
• Forces a robot that's roughly his size towards a ledge before throwing it over^S1E7
• Throws a large monster over his head^S1E8
• Lifts a giant turtle monster^S1E10
• Lifts a giant squid out of the ocean and throws it a great distance^S2E1
• Tosses a dragon into the air behind him^S2E5
• Throws a monster from the ocean floor to the surface^S2E8

Objects

• Lifts a research ship out of the water^S1E1
• While underwater, he picks up a boulder larger than his head and blocks off a cave with it^S1E1
• Carries a section of the Golden Gate Bridge over his shoulder^S1E2
• Picks up and throws a massive boulder towards a pair of monsters^S1E4
• Throws a UFO into the distance (and presumably into space)^S1E6
• Catches and throws a large boulder that was flung at him by a psychic monster^S1E8
• Carries a giant boulder over his shoulder and uses it to plug a volcano^S1E12
• Catches a satellite that had fallen from orbit^S1E13
• Picks up an iceberg several times his size^S2E10
• Holds a tower in his hand^S2E12
• Throws a round structure a good distance into the ocean^S2E12
• Lifts a large spaceship and flips it over^S2E13

Pushing/Pulling

• Pushes a rock formation under the ocean^S1E9
• Tears off a robot's arm^S1E7
• Halts the motion of a boat that was caught in a creature's magnet powers that had the same energy as the Earth's own magnetic field^S1E10
  • He later stops himself from being pulled into the mouth of the same creature when it had gotten strong enough to blow the South Pole ice cap off the Earth^S1E10
• Halts a large ship and pushes it back^S2E2
• Pulls back an out of control submarine that had enough power to level a harbor^S2E6
• Pushes an enlarged black widow, sending it flying through the air^S2E7
• Pushes a giant iceberg off a cliff^S2E10
• Pushes aside several large walls of rock while underground^S2E11
• Knocks down two giant ice formations^S2E13

Other

• After being encased in ice he is able to break out of it^S1E3
• Wrestles with a sea monster in the ocean^S1E4
• A copy of himself tears apart electrical towers^S1E6
• Wrestles with a copy of himself^S1E6
• Widens a crack in the ground^S1E6
• When a chimera grows to a massive size Godzilla overpowers it and forces it back to normal size^S1E9
• Fights against a T-Rex^S1E13
• Bends a submarine's rudder^S2E6
• Struggles against a golden guardian statue^S2E9
• After Godzooky and his friends had fallen into a fissure in the ground that was closing again, Godzilla forces it apart long enough to grab them^S2E10

Speed/Agility

• When the Firebird charges at him he smacks it away (the Firebird could dodge Godzilla's laser eyes)^S1E2
• Avoids a monster's attack that was confirmed by a scientist to use soundwaves (he later reacts to this attack again)^S1E2
• Leaps over a monster that lunged at him^S1E9
• When Godzooky gets caught in a creature's magnet powers that had the same energy as the Earth's own magnetic field Godzilla snatches him out of the air^S1E10
• Swims in a circle fast enough to create a giant whirlpool^S1E10
• Leaps into the air from the water^S1E10
• When a monster explodes he catches the submarine that was in it^S1E10
• Catches two of the military's missiles^S1E11
• Sidesteps a monster when it dives at him^S1E12
• Catches a satellite that had fallen from orbit^S1E13
• Snatches a torpedo out of the water that had been fired from a WWI era German U-Boat^S2E3
• Dodges lightning bolts fired by the Power Dragon^S2E5
• Outpaces an out of control submarine by a wide margin, having enough time to dig a canal through an island before it arrives^S2E6
  • He later catches up to it again^S2E6
• Climbs a waterfall^S2E7
• Avoids a statue's laser eyes^S2E9
• Smacks away a fighter plane and snatches another one out of the air^S2E12

Durability

Blunt

• Gets continuously pelted by balls of hail the size of his head^S1E3
• Buried in rubble after stumbling into a rock formation^S1E6
• Gets spun rapidly before being flung through the air and into a large building^S1E7
• Slammed through a building by a robot^S1E7
• Sent skidding backwards by a T-Rex^S1E13
• Gets rammed into by a giant submarine that had enough power to level a harbor^S2E6

Falling

• Gets dropped by the Firebird, falling hard enough to split the ground beneath his feet and not being phased^S1E1

Explosive

• Catches a satellite which had turned into an atomic bomb, seemingly containing the blast within his hands (though it then transports him through time, so its unclear he contained the entire thing before it disappeared)^S1E13
• A torpedo blows up in his face which was powerful enough to sink a battleship^S2E3
• A sea mine blows up in his face and he immediately afterwards contains the explosion of several more in his hands^S2E12

Heat

• Gets blasted by the Firebird's heat breath which could melt large glaciers in seconds^S1E1
• A copy of himself hits him with its eye lasers^S1E6
• A chimera hits him with its flame breath^S1E9

Cold

• Is unphased by cold winds that quickly froze a helicopter's propellers^S1E3
• Powers through a pair of monsters' cold breath (though extended contact encased him in ice)^S1E3

Other

• Is unphased by a tidal wave that was a similar size to him^S1E1
• Gets hit with a point-blank sonic attack that could destroy buildings from a distance and be used to burrow through the ground^S1E2
• Shocked and later blasted with a beam of electricity from a monster that a scientist detected containing millions of volts^S1E4
  • Blasts from smaller versions of that same species could destroy large boulders with their beams^S1E4
• Is unbothered by the pressure after arriving to save a pod that had fallen to the bottom of an underwater trench and then returning to the surface^S1E4
• Gets hit by an energy attack that previously destroyed a large rock formation^S1E6
  • However, he was in pretty rough shape afterwards^S1E6
• Gets knocked back by a creature's magnet powers that has as much energy as the Earth's own magnetic field^S1E10
• Puts his hand inside of a creature and is unaffected when that same creature near instantly dissolved an anchor^S1E11
  • After growing significantly this creature could dissolve entire buildings and Godzilla was still unaffected by it^S1E11
• Withstands winds that blow away trees and houses^S2E4
• Gets hit by the Power Dragon's lightning blasts which destroy buildings on several occasions^S2E5
• Gets blasted by a statue's laser eyes (while the beams do cover him in gold after long exposure, they have been shown to have a force element as well, matching Godzilla's own laser beams and knocking down walls that are as tall as him)^S2E9
• None of a terrorist group's weapons can harm him, including artillery cannons and tanks, a mine field, missiles, rockets from fighter planes,

Other Attacks

Firebreath

• Melts a giant ball of hail while midair before canceling out a monster's cold breath that rapidly froze his hand^S1E3
• Somehow cancels out a beam of electricity from a mosnter that could destroy large boulders (a creature of the same species released a beam that contained millions of volts)^S1E4
• Forces back a copy of himself^S1E6
• Forces back a large robot^S1E7
• Breaths fire out of his nostrils^S1E10
• As a cliffside was falling apart he uses his firebreath to superheat it back into place^S1E12
• Reduces a boulder to a significantly smaller chunk of rock (for scale the monster holding it was a similar size to Godzilla)^S1E12
• Melts a glacier with three blasts of fire^S2E3
• Blasts a cliffside, turning the rock into a reflective surface that bounces a monster's beam attack back at it^S2E4
• Blasts a large wall of rocks, melting them together^S2E7
• Completely melts a group of golden guardian statues in a second (these statues are the same size as Godzilla)^S2E9
• Melts an artillery cannon^S2E12

Laser Eyes

• Rapid fires them at a flying monster^S1E1
• Blasts a large monster through a building^S1E2
• Destabilizes part of the Golden Gate Bridge that a monster had climbed onto (though it doesn't actually collapse until the monster is tricked into hitting it)^S1E2
• Seals several cracks in a dam^S1E6
• Blasts off a robot's arm^S1E7
• Destroys the top of a capital building when it was thrown at him^S1E11
• After being shrunk to a size where he has to fight off the bacteria in water, he fires his laser straight though the side of a petri dish^S2E2
• Shoots the top of a cave that was large enough for him to fit inside, blasting off enough rock to cover it^S2E3
• Frees himself from an enlarged spider's webbing that he wasn't strong enough to break with his own strength^S2E7
• Destabilizes an airport control tower with his lasers before knocking over an airport control tower with his tail^S2E12
• Melts an artillery cannon^S2E12

Misc.

• Summoned by the Godzilla signal or by Godzooky's shouts before sinking back into the depths^S1E2
  • Its later revealed that he responds to a special frequency^S2E6
• Size varies greatly, from roughly five stories tall to as tall as skyscrapers to towering over San Francisco^S1E2
  • If the intro is anything to go by, his official height is thirty stories tall
  • Here is a size comparison between himself, Godzooky, and a human boy^S1E4
• The only guy with feet bigger than Shaquille O'Neil^S1E4
• His fist is air tight and pressure proof as he transports two people to the bottom of the ocean^S1E4
• After a group of sirens hit him with a beam that causes him to fall asleep he suddenly wakes up upon hearing that Godzooky is in danger^S1E9
• Uses a tree as leverage to pick up a giant boulder and carry it to the top of a volcano^S1E12
• Breaths hard enough to redirect a satellite that had fallen from orbit^S1E13
• Begins to feel "sick" if he spends too much time out of the water (though the exact timeframe is unclear)^S2E2
• Tricks an enlarged black widow into biting itself^S2E7
• Tricks a group of statues into following him into a marsh, where they then sink and are trapped^S2E9

Episode 01: Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!
The scene faded into a shot of the Earth from space, an astronaut banging on a small communications satellite in the foreground with a wrench. The satellite had the letters 'TDRI' scrawled on the front in black.
"We've been to the movies," the voice of Chris McLean began as the satellite seemed to whir into function, lights on either end of it glowing green. "We've been around the world!" Just as the astronaut gave the camera thumbs-up, the satellite suddenly failed with a jolt of electricity and broke apart, the astronaut palming the visor of their helmet. "And this season," Chris said as the camera rapidly began to zoom in towards northern Canada, "we're going right back where it all began," the camera past through layers of cloud to reach a beautiful morning sky, then panned down to an all-too-familiar island, "at Camp Wawanakwa!"
Chris McLean was already standing just off-center on the dock, right by the 'Wawanakwa' sign – both of which looked like they'd gone through some heavy wear and tear. "I'm Chris Mclean," the host formally introduced himself, "and as you can see, things have changed since we've been away." He walked down the dock to where a male red-shirted intern of southeast Asian descent waited with a coconut drink on a platter; the right side of the camp's sign fell down as he passed by, taking out a small piece of the dock.
"And by changed," the host said with a darkly expectant smile, "I mean gotten really, really, dangerous!" He took the coconut drink from the intern. As soon as he did so a giant pink tentacle rose from the lake with a terrifying roar, and slammed down on the dock – Chris calmly sidestepped it, but the intern and a sizable chunk of the end of the dock were smashed into the water. "Good stuff," the host laughed.
"But the rules of the game remain the same," he told the camera, the scene changing to a panning shot of one of the cabin rooms, a cockroach scurrying over the lens. The room itself looked about the same as it had three seasons ago – decrepit and old-fashioned, but boringly so. "A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers," Chris explained during the pan, the shot cutting to a stained piece of male underwear nailed to a wooden door that promptly opened to reveal the old outhouse confessional within, "air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island," the camera cut to a long-distance shot of the thousand-foot-high-cliff, zooming in on the gleamingly jagged rocks in the water below it, "and risk being voted off," Chris continued as the shot cut to the clearing, firepit, oil drum, and eleven stump-seats used for Campfire Ceremonies of the past.
"Last one standing wins," the shot cut from the elimination area to a still image of a wheelbarrow overflowing with money, "one, million, DOLLARS!" A short, grand, and victorious tune blared as the shot zoomed in on the prize money.
"Speaking of our cast," Chris said back on the Dock of Shame as a cool rock theme began to play, "here they are now!"
The shot cut to a small but luxurious red-striped yacht where the twenty-four contestants of the past three seasons could be seen more-or-less enjoying themselves. Brick and Courtney were making out on the starboard side while Ella, Ezekiel, and Sadie danced nearby, Eva looking away from them. On the stern deck, Mike, Owen, and Sky were dancing and Izzy was hanging upside down swinging life rings with Noah watching with disinterest. On a higher sternward balcony, Dawn was meditating, Beth was reading a book, and Cody and Harold played with video game handhelds. Shawn dropped down on the group unexpectedly from even higher up, startling all four. And at the bow, Heather leaned coolly against the port-side railing and smiled at the camera, Topher was looking at his reflection in a mirror, Jo and Lightning arm-wrestled on the railing next to them, Amy and Rodney were dancing to music that Duncan was setting up on his boombox, and Lindsay sat on the very foremost point of the railing posing.
Chris waved at the yacht as it approached...and kept on going, the music scratching to a halt instead of the ship. "NOOOO!" Owen hollered in surprise in anguish as the boat sailed off-screen, and Chris laughed.
"No, not them," he told the camera as it zoomed back in on him. "This season, we've got all new players, fighting for the million!" he announced as the music turned tense and grandiose. "And here they come now, for real!"
The shot cut to another yacht approaching, similar to the last one but with its stripes a pale teal instead of red. Several teens could be standing along the bow, port-side, upper deck, and stern, and the camera cut to those at the head of the ship – Molly and Dave.
"Meet Molly," Chris said, the girl noticing the boy next to her feeling scared.
"What’s the matter? We’re just going to compete where the show started," Molly assured the boy.
"Dave," Chris continued, and the boy blinked.
"Yeah, but I didn't know that the island would consist of toxic waste," Dave told the girl before breaking out the hand sanitizer and rubbing his hands and arms with it, causing the indie girl to raise an eyebrow.
The camera panned to the right to show the next two campers in line – Scott and Trent.
"Scott! And, Trent!" Chris continued.
"Why are you carrying a guitar around?" Scott asked Trent, who was happily tuning up his guitar.
"So I can practice my songs at camp," Trent smiled at the grumpy boy.
"Max!" Chris announced next, the pale boy in question suddenly and without warning popping up between Scott and Trent with enough force to knock the two to the sides with startled cries. From the evil smile he was sporting to the pale skin, everything about him radiated villainy.
"These compestants have no idea what awaits them when we arrive," Max said, speaking darkly as a dark tune played in the background. "For I am the definition of pure evil!" Max degenerated into laughter as the camera panned away from him, showing Leshawna and Sammy, the next contestants.
"Leshawna," Chris introduced the large girl witnessing Max's introduction.
"That boy is not right in the head," Leshawna shook her head with disapproval.
"Sammy," Chris introduced the nervous cheerleader.
"He is a bit free-spirited," Sammy said timidly while holding her left arm.
The camera panned right again to show B. He snapped his fingers for the audience.
"B," Chris finally introduced, "and Scarlett," he added, the camera panning further right to show the girl next to B reading a book.
"You seem confident to be here," Scarlett said dryly without taking her eyes off her book. "Do you know about the substance of toxic waste and radiation?" B nodded in agreement, impressing Scarlett. "That's good to know."
"Katie," Chris continued as the scene cut to a spot further down the yacht, showing the girl holding her tablet.
"Just in," Katie waved pleasantly at the camera. "I'm about to be competing for a million dollars, I-"
As she spoke the camera panned away to Anne Maria spraying her hair.
"Anne Maria," Chris introduced.
"Oh yeah!" Anne Maria looked at the camera. "Three more coats oughta do it."
She was interrupted when Katie walked back into the shot. "Not to be rude," she looked at the camera, "but you panned away before I could finish my introduction."
"Sorry, viral," Anne Maria smirked. "The camera just loves me more."
"Geoff," Chris introduced next as he dashed onto the scene, putting himself next to the two girls.
"Okay, girls," Geoff said in what was a chill tone, "let's not get off on the wrong foot. You'll get more camera time after we're all introduced."
Anne Maria proceeded to spray her hair again, the cloud causing Geoff and Katie to cough profusely.
"Sierra," Chris introduced next, the camera panning up to the girl standing on the upper balcony.
She was hurriedly typing into her phone. "I can't wait to step foot on Camp Wawanakwa and talk about it on my blog!" Sierra said, looking around in amazement until a small flock of pigeons flew past and knocked her over the railing with a scream.
"And DJ," Chris finished as Sierra landed next to the fourteenth and final competitor of the season.
DJ looked down as Sierra landed and gasped. "Oh snap! Let me help you up!" DJ quickly bent down and helped Sierra up. "There you go."
"Yup!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him on the Dock of Shame. "It's our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!" He took out a remote control, and pressed the large central button with his thumb.
The yacht that the new contestants were sailing in on suddenly exploded, sending all fourteen of them flying and screaming in every direction.
Chris took a casual sip of his coconut drink, then looked at the camera and raised a finger high. "Right here," he said as a faint version of the series' capstone theme played, "on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!" The shot jumped outward as the title was said, showing Wawanakwa island in its entirety with a few plumes of smoke in the distance marking where the yacht had exploded.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
[The sequence begins much as it did three seasons ago, with an open into letterbox format as the camera focuses on the tops of a few distant pine trees. A rusty stage light rotates up and turns on; then the shot changes to a cobwebby spotlight swinging down and turning on as well; then a small security camera popping out of one of several leaky toxic waste barrels; then another camera bursting out of a tree hollow, held by an octopus tentacle and dislodging a few bones; then a pair of fair-skinned arms clapping a film slate in front of the camera which switches to a shot of the island, briefly showing a giant octopus looking out of the lake to the right, then flying forward down the dock and past the buildings, passing under a totem pole that Chris was sitting on and which was being carried by a trio of male interns of mismatched heights.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
[The camera rapidly flies through the trees as the lyrics begin, quickly reaching the top of the thousand-foot-high cliff.]
You guys are on my mind!
[It looks down at the ring of buoys in the water below and dives, immediately cutting to an underwater view as the bubbles disperse to reveal Sammy gagging with several vicious-looking fish watching her hungrily until a claw-like machine grabbed her and pulled her up to the surface.]
You asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
[Up in a canoe, B tinkered with the machine, and looked up as it pulled Sammy out of the water and into the sky.]
I wanna be...famous!
[The scene lingers on Sammy in front of the sun for a moment, then quick-pans left to Katie in the middle of the woods posing as she is filming herself; a falling Sammy abruptly hits her on the back and knocks both to the ground. Katie lifts her head to look at the cheerleader, who just smiles bashfully. Geoff runs past them as the camera pans left to Sierra sitting on a tree branch and texting on her phone. Gophers suddenly pop up from the ground and roar, causing Sierra to flee.]
I wanna live close to the sun!
[At the top of a waterfall, Molly and Trent float downriver in a canoe. Trent was playing a song on his guitar, to which Molly was vibing to until she finally spotted the waterfall. Both screamed as they went over the edge.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
[The camera pans down to DJ, balancing a log on his finger. Though he does not see the canoe falling behind him, he does see Molly and Trent as they fall right on top of him, breaking the log he was holding onto and sending all three into the water.]
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
[Scott is laughing at the three's misfortune, and a monstrous shark with arms and legs bursts out of the outhouse with a toothy grin, making Scott run away.]
I'll get there one day.
[The camera pans to the Mess Lodge, Chef Hatchet's silhouette visible in the window. Zooming in to the room shows him stirring a pot of some greenish slop with a dark grin, and the shot pans over to show Max cackling wickedly until Chef shoves a spoon full of slop into his mouth.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
[Another pan to the left reveals Anne Maria spraying her hair. Once she realized she was being recorded, she glared at the camera and sprayed it with her can. The spray cloud moves the scene out of the lodge and into the beach, where Scarlett is calmly reading her book – until a hawk flew right in just to snag it and flew away, much to Scarlett's unamusement.]
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans away from Scarlett and on to Dave applying hand sanitizer. A furry hand taps him on the shoulder, distracting the germaphobe and allowing the arm to snatch away the sanitizer. Dave realizes what's happened, and rushes angrily at the large hairy ape-man now using the hand sanitizer.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans down to the end of the dock to show Leshawna, blowing a kiss before taking a few steps back. She busts out a few dance moves of her own.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[A sudden splash of water comes down on the sista, interrupting her dancing and causing her to send a frown upward – Chris is hovering above him in a jetpack and helmet, holding an empty bucket. He drops the bucket then flies off, the flames from his jetpack taking over the screen. It becomes night as they peter out, and the camera pans down across the stars and treetops and full moon to Anne Maria and Geoff sitting at a campfire together. As they lean towards each other with expectant smiles they are interrupted and separated by Chef Hatchet, wearing a hazmat suit and holding a glowing green marshmallow between them with a pair of heavy tongs.
The shot zooms out to show the rest of the cast looking shocked, whistling the last few notes of the song – Trent, Leshawna, B, Scott, Dave, and Katie on Anne Maria's side; Max, Sammy, Molly, Scarlett, DJ, and Sierra on Geoff's side; and Chris standing next to Chef on Geoff's side as well. The shot continued to zoom out until a signboard was shown marking the presumed entrance to the fire pit; it read 'TOTAL DRAMA REVENGE OF THE ISLAND' in block letters, the third word being the largest and the last word relegated to a board tacked on at the end.]
XXXXX
"AAAAHHH!" Max screamed, the episode fading in to him landing hard on a rock jutting out of the water. "Why must a villainous mastermind suffer like this?" he groaned, pitifully sliding into the water as Anne Maria swam past in the background.
"Chris is so getting a beatdown for this!" Anne Maria said to herself.
Sammy was shown swimming by clinging to a piece of driftwood, then looking to the side at the sound of someone coming up behind her. "Sorry about this!" Trent shouted as he shot past like a torpedo.
The camera followed Trent as he swam past Molly. "There is a thing called open space!" Molly said before continuing her swim.
The shot cut back to Max, now flailing his arms as he struggled not to drown. "Spaz," Scott said as he swam past him.
Max finally sank below the water, but fortunately Scarlett quickly swam over and dived down.
"I pity you, and I also don't want you dead," Scarlett informed as she surfaced, pulling a coughing Max back up with her.
"Get me to land now!" Max demanded.
The camera cut to Geoff. He reached another rock jutting out of the water and pulled himself up onto it. "Okay. How am I gonna get myself to shore?" The party guy then saw a long piece of wood shaped like a surfboard and grabbed it. "I think I know what to do!"
Positioning himself on the rock while laying belly first on the wood, Geoff boosted himself off the rock and rocketed through the water, even managing to get up and maintain himself.
The shot cut to Scarlett helping Max swim to shore, only for a surfing Geoff to unknowingly splash water onto the both of them, causing them to fall under the water.
Leshawna sputtered as she sank and struggled to stay afloat. "I don't think I can stay up for much longer!"
"I'm on it!" DJ and Katie said, appearing out of nowhere and swimming to the girl.
"Oops. You can go first. Sorry if I interrupted," Katie apologized.
"No no. You can go instead. I think it was the other way around," DJ offered.
"Well, I mean, if you insist," Katie chuckled until the hand of Leshawna held onto Katie's head for support, dragging her down.
DJ panicked. "Hang on! I'm coming!" He dived down and got both Leshawna and Katie, the former spitting out water.
"If we weren't in water right now, I'd be tweeting about you saving me," Katie commented.
Confessional: DJ
"So this is my first confessional," DJ opened while looking around the outhouse confessional. "I've watched the first season, and this is where the contestants come in to talk about their feelings or strategy or whatnot."
"We're all newcomers here, so if I see anyone struggling, I'll be there to help them out," he continued with a smile before frowning. "Right after I get used to this island first."
Confessional: Katie
"Hello," Katie said in the next confessional to her tablet. "This is the first time I am in the Total Drama confessional. It's a little disgusting, but that's for another time!" She continued with her perky smile and put her tablet away. "I came onto this show in order to promote my vlogging expertise and gain more followers. I'm a bit of an advice guru, so don't be surprised if I have a solution for some sticky situations." She laughed blissfully. "That was so alliterative!"
Confessionals End
The footage resumed with a rather wet Trent on shore. He looked around, then cheered in victory. "Yes! I'm first!" he cheered. "And my guitar is in one piece-"
His face dropped as he looked to his left, and the camera panned to show Sierra fixing her wet hair.
"How did you get here before us?" Trent asked.
"I practiced swimming back home in case we have a beach episode," Sierra explained happily.
Dave was the next to come to shore, crawling out of the water. "I'm here!" he panted before falling on his face.
Confessional: Dave
Dave squirted hand sanitizer on his hands, and set his pocket-sized bottle aside on the seat, beginning to rub his hands together to spread the cleaning product. "How did I not read my contract fully? I never would've signed up if I had known how unclean the environment was gonna be."
Confessional Ends
B and Max were the next to make it to dry land, the quiet genius dragging the super villain up the beach on his head with the super villain coughing out water.
Confessional: Max
"I do not like yachts, so it was very enjoyable to have it be destroyed," Max grinned. "I just wish it was me who blew the yacht up instead of being on the receiving end like those other fools," he complained briefly.
"I guarantee you, everybody will be frightened by my abnormally large brain and my super advanced hearing. No one has ever, ever been able to sneak up on me!" he declared confidently just as an orange butterfly flew over him. It landed on his head...and with a sickening bone-crunch, Max started to tilt over. "Begone, brutal butterfly!" he cried in pain, falling over onto the seat under the butterfly's weight.
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to the beach, showing Trent, Sierra, Dave, B, and Max loitering around a large rock further up the beach and revealing that Scott, Scarlett, Anne Maria, Sammy, Molly, Leshawna, Katie, and DJ had all made it to shore as well.
"This is preposterous!" Max ranted, pouring water out of his shoe. "I am not to be treated with disrespect! Chris will rue the day he met Max Mayhem!"
Molly was sitting next to Max and listening without a care. "Is your last name actually Mayhem? If it's not, I'd respect you for creating your own nickname."
Max was about to answer, but a wave and a dramatic riff signaled that another person had washed up.
It was Geoff, who coughed out a small fish.
Confessional: Geoff
"I wiped out for a while," Geoff confessed. "I’m more into parties and having a good time. As long as I get along with everyone and not be harsh, I can last up to the tenth or eleventh episode."
Confessional Ends
"I can't believe we were blown up before we even got on the island," Sammy said, Katie sitting near her. "I've been watching Total Drama for a while, and I can't even tell what's going to happen next," she looked at the girl.
"It's not your fault. None of us can look into the future," Katie told her before looking at her tablet. "Katchy Katie here, and so far, the island is looking pretty bland," she told her viewers.
"Katchy Katie?" Sammy wondered. "What's that about?"
"That's just my vlog name," Katie explained. "I usually record what's going on in my life so I can tell my viewers what to do and not what to do."
"Could you send me a link to your vlog?" Sammy asked the influencer. "It sounds interesting."
Katie gave a slip of paper with her name on it to Sammy. "Here you go. It's best to always keep track of what you see and know on paper so you won't forget in the future."
"Attention, fresh meat!" Chris announced, the shot cutting to a pair of loudspeakers on a tree nearby, then panning down and right to show that all fourteen campers were now waiting around on the rocky beach. "See that trail leading into the forest?" the host continued, the camera following the contestants' gazes right as they looked at where the beach, trees, and rocks met. "Race to the end of the trail," Chris commanded, "and do not disturb the wildlife! That would be bad."
"Does he seriously think that will frighten us?" Scarlett blew him off.
"The tiniest sound can set them off," Chris continued. "Liiike...THIS!" He blew an airhorn over the intercom, forcing all fourteen campers to cover their ears.
The camera panned over to the distant treetops on the left, the airhorn fading in to a loud, terrifying roar that startled a flock of birds to flight. The music became tense as one tree was knocked over, then another closer to the beach. Finally, the cast screamed and fled into the woods.
\
A clock wipe transitioned the footage ahead to an adorable little purplish bird singing on a branch...until a frog-like tongue snapped out of a hollow behind it and dragged the bird into darkness.
The camera panned down to a finish line, just as Geoff and DJ ran past it with the brickhouse in the lead. "Alright! First place!" DJ turned to the party guy. "Don't worry. Second's not that bad."
"I know," Geoff smiled. "I don't get why people are worked up over it though."
It was then that Chris rode up on a red ATV, his usual smile on his face. "Party Time, two steps left. You're on Team A," he directed, Geoff nodding happily and walking a few steps back towards the finish line. "Big Friendly Giant? Move right. You're on Team B," he told DJ, directing him to the right; he complied just as Scott crossed the finish line, skidding to a stop next to Geoff.
"Pit Sniffer," the host told him, "you're on Team A." Molly slid in next. "Free Spirit, Team B," Chris told her.
"Alright then," Molly said with a smile and ran off to the right. B stopped running and came to a halt.
"Silent Treatment, Team A," Chris told him, causing him to give his signature greeting to Geoff and Scott before Trent arrived. "Guitar Hero, Team B," Chris told him.
"Okay!" Trent went to his designated team.
Sammy and Katie arrived next, the nervous cheerleader bending over to catch her breath and the influencer clutching her chest. "Sour Sport. Team A. Perky Influencer. Team B," Chris said.
"I'm not that bad," Sammy mumbled while Katie ran to her team.
"Blogspot, Team A," Chris continued over a shot of Sierra running and stopping at her team. Dave arrived next. "Germ Avoider, Team B."
The camera zoomed out a little ways from Team A just as Leshawna ran up, panting and out of breath.
"Loud and Proud, Team A," Chris said. "Tan in a Can, Team B," Chris continued as Anne Maria arrived, walking rather than running.
"I'm… so… tired!" Max moaned while dragging himself through the floor.
"Maniacal Max, Team A," Chris directed. As Max joined his teammates they all looked back towards the finish line, with Scarlett simply walking to the finish.
"Aaand Quiet Genius, Team B," Chris finished with a smile.
"What was that thing in the forest?" Sierra said, trudging past her teammates.
"I'm pretty sure that cry does not sound like any normal animal," Trent added.
"Relax, it'll all make sense eventually," Chris explained, his impish smile quickly degenerating into long, evil laughter that caused the two teams to stare at him and look at each other in awkward, nervous confusion.
Chris finally stopped laughing, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Now, this season of Total Drama will be a little bit different," he explained. "For example, in every episode, someone will be eliminated."
The campers gasped, and an ominous chant played in the background. "It's never been that hard before," Sammy remarked in shock.
"I know," Chris told her with a smug grin, "I'm good. But since you're all first-timers, I'm gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the campgrounds." He held up what appeared to be a small wooden carving of his head, and the shot cut in for a close-up. "A genu-ine McLean Brand Chris Head! Your free ticket back into the game!" The small carving was shown against a radiant white and blue background, an angelic chorus playing as images of Chef Hatchet dressed in a lavender leotard and tutu, angel wings, and a halo flew into the corners of the screen while holding harps and singing.
"Even if your teammates vote you off," he added as B and Geoff were shown staring with wide eyes. "Whoever finds it," Chris continued over a shot of DJ, Dave, Scarlett, and Molly also watching with wide eyes, "will become the most powerful player in Total Drama history!" Both Sierra and Max were shown smiling in awe.
The angelic chorus ended as Chris brought the statue in for a closer look. "Is the cleft on my chin really that big?" he asked in concern.
"Yep, and it looks like a butt," Scott answered, earning an annoyed glare from the host.
"Moving on," Chris said forcefully, "time for the team names!"
"I hope the names won't be stupid!" Molly immediately said. "I don't want to be defined by a name like the Silly Bunnies?"
"You got that right Molly," Chris told her, "The names have been chosen by moi. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as, the Toxic Rats!" A short but energetic riff played as the screen switched to a green, red, and yellow starburst-patterned background, a green logo spinning up to the front. It bore the image of a six-limbed rat standing up on its hindlegs and bearing its teeth menacingly.
The Toxic Rats stared blankly for a moment before Max laughed and said "How evil!"
"And Team B," Chris continued, turning his head to the other six, "you are hereby dubbed, the Mutant Maggots!" A different energetic theme played as a teal, yellow, and orange sunburst-patterned background took over the screen, and a red logo spun up to the front. This one depicted the head of a three-eyed maggot, its mouth frozen in a gaping hiss.
The Mutant Maggots stared blankly for a second as well. "What's with all the chemical waste references?" Dave asked.
The perspective switched to a group shot as another loud roar shook the area. "It's the monster!" Anne Maria shouted in terror, making the others look around in shock.
The shot cut to some distant trees, a flock of birds flying away as one fell, then the camera panned to the right as another closer tree fell. Dave, DJ, and Katie gasped in fear, the brickhouse quickly grabbing the influencer's arm for comfort, and the camera zoomed in on a bush in front of the last fallen tree.
A small hairless squirrel with big yellow eyes jumped out and looked around.
"So we panicked over a small squirrel?" Scarlett said in disbelief.
"Aww, it's kinda cute!" DJ gushed...until it blinked sideways, and he cringed audibly.
"What happened to it?" Katie asked from off-screen as the squirrel happily blinked and looked around some more.
"While we were gone," Chris explained, "I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company." As he spoke, the camera cut to a pile of oil barrels stashed in and around a tree. All of the barrels had a hazard sign on them, and most were leaking some sort of foul bubbling green liquid. "Sweet people," the host remarked.
"But," he added as the focus cut back to him on his ATV, "the waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna." The hairless squirrel was shown again, blinking as a monarch butterfly flew close to it. It snapped out its tongue like a frog, and swallowed the butterfly up.
"This may be odd, but that squirrel is cool!" Geoff said with a grin as Max and Sammy gave him odd looks.
"You know," Leshawna said, cautiously approaching it with a smile on her face, "it looks weird but I'm sure it's perfectly harmless! Am I right?" She reached out to pet it, and it roared the same deep and terrifying roar that had scared them all earlier, then shot lightning from its eyes at the ground Leshawna was standing on. Leshawna screamed and ran away, and the squirrel blew her a raspberry before hopping back into the bush.
Chris was laughing hysterically as the shot cut to Leshawna jumping into the arms of a surprised Geoff in fear. The camera cut back to Chris as he stopped laughing, then in an elated and dramatic tone said "Most. Danger. Ev-er~!" as an equally sharp and dramatic tune played.
Confessional: Leshawna
"That guy is some kind of crazy," Leshawna confessed to the outhouse camera in outrage. "Adding toxic waste to the island? That's gotta be a criminal offense if it endangers us."
Confessional Ends
"Now," Chris said with a wide smile as the scene cut back to him once again, "before we start our very first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. DJ," he turned to the left, "because you made it up here before anyone else, your team gets a trampoline!" A grand tune played as the shot cut to a close-up of the trampoline, and moments later Chef Hatchet bounced down upon it. "And the Rats, get a hacksaw," Chris added, the shot cutting upwards to show his glowering assistant holding the tool in question.
Chef suddenly lost his balance and fell with a crash; Max laughed and had the hacksaw thrown at his head for it; and Scarlett silently laughed too, and in turn got crushed by the trampoline that was thrown at her, making her groan in pain.
"What do these items have to do with this bomb?" Chris asked, holding up a square of plastic explosives with a wireless timed detonator attached to it.
"Uhh, he's not gonna blow us up again, is he?" Trent nervously asked an equally nervous Scarlett.
"Who knows," Chris said with a sly smile, leaning in between the two with the bomb. "Find out when we come back!"
(Fade to Commercial)

UVa alumna claims professor groomed, sexually assaulted her
A 2020 University of Virginia graduate has accused one of her former professors of grooming, sexually assaulting and initiating an inappropriate romantic relationship during her tenure at the university, which began in 2018.
A celebration of life held for 13-year-old struck and killed by baseball On a stormy Memorial Day, family, friends, teammates and more gathered at Ting Pavilion and celebrated the life of Calvin Ness, the 13-year-old Buford Middle School student who was hit in the head with a ball before a community baseball game on May 8 and died two days later.
Charlottesville-based bodybuilding coach indicted on child exploitation charges
Elliot Atwell has built a following over the years as a trainer to male bodybuilders and fitness models, often working virtually with clients across the country and becoming something of a “godfather of the teen aesthetic,” as one online commenter put it.
Saving the spies: Albemarle County floats $58M land deal to preserve Rivanna Station
“We gather to take an action on what may be the most significant economic development activity ever for Albemarle County.”
Charlottesville leads state in early voting
No primary in the state has had more votes cast early, either by mail or in person, than the race to determine the Democratic nominee in Senate District 11, which runs along Route 29 from the northern edge of Albemarle County to just outside of Lynchburg.
Should a fading Coca-Cola 'ghost sign' be brought back to life?
On the side of the building fronted by Oyster House Antiques in downtown Charlottesville is a faded and peeling mural that once proclaimed, “Delicious and Refreshing. Drink Coca-Cola. 5¢ Sold everywhere.”
Albemarle County schools announces changes to bus service
Still facing a bus driver shortage, Albemarle County Public Schools has announced some early changes to bus routes as it prepares for the upcoming academic year: adjusting some schedules, reducing some services and consolidating some stops.
Veritas Vineyard, Quirk Hotel targets of Insta scam
“We’re never going to be asking for your credit card information. All we are going to be asking for is an email address so we can send the tickets to you.”
This Memorial Day, a soldier is home after 7 decades
U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class James Allen Coleman, known to family members and friends as Jimmie, was reported missing in action on April 25, 1951, near Chipori, South Korea, after an enemy mortar shell explosion during action in the Korean War.
Albemarle Symphony Orchestra grants Crozet pianist a 'wish of a lifetime'
June Andrews has spent a lifetime preparing her piano students to reach for their dreams. During Saturday evening’s Albemarle Symphony Orchestra concert, she will be fulfilling one of her own.
Even with so many options available, getting your news can be a challenge. The Weekly Progress is here to help. Here is a roundup of some of the week’s biggest stories from The Daily Progress, Charlottesville’s news of record and a resource for the community since 1892.
Check Reddit every Friday for a weekly digest of the most-read and most-shared stories from The Daily Progress.

I’ve heard that going airborne will end up screwing up your back and knees up hard, but that also it’s more about the amount of rucking airborne units do.
Is the large amount of rucking the case for everyone who’s airborne or specifically infantry? For example if I went in as a 13B with a option 4, would I ruck as much as an airborne infantrymen or is the general complaint of shot back and knees about being infantry and airborne?
Link to Comment Chain
I am posting this for a friend, but if anybody can provide an answer, I think he would find it helpful:
I ets'ed in 07/2017 then reenlisted in 04/2023, so I'm past the 5 years. But when I signed my contract there were only orders for AIT. When I asked the counselor he said, "You don't go back to Basic. You go to Fort X to in process, then head to AIT." Yet, here I am getting sent to BCT.
Anything I can do here?
I'm not really hungry but I'll take one contract for the Coast Guard, please.
Link to Comment Chain
Since yesterday in IPPS-A, the announcement tile has said "1 unread". When i open the tile, i have around 6 or so announcements, and i have opened them all. None of them require any action. Any ideas on what this could mean? Or is this IPPS-A being IPPS-A?
Link to Comment Chain
Anyone know if someone in 75th Ranger Regiment who is a combat engineer will deal w more explosives such as clearing mines than a "normal" combat engineer?
Link to Comment Chain
Hey guys, new to this thread. I am a Citadel Cadet participating in a Royal Lao Airborne ground school training this weekend to get Static Line qualified. We will be doing 5 SL jumps with a Royal Lao Jump Master, U.S. Army Jump Master, and Australian Jump Master, As a result, we will be awarded wings from the RLA, the US Army "Jump Wings," and the Australian Parachutist wings. Am I authorized to wear the US Army "Jump Wings" on my Cadet uniform as I will have been awarded them for jumping with a US Jump Master, but have not completed Airborne School? I understand the foreign wings are authorized, but was concerned about the US Wings, as I believe I may have found myself in a 'gray zone.' If anyone has some guidance, I would greatly appreciate it. - Have a great day.
Link to Comment Chain
I’m 18 years old and I graduate this Sunday the 21st of may. I’ve been talking to my recruiter and he gave me the run down on benefits of the army. I’m considering going full time and interested in mos 91E as a career path. I’m sure my recruiter is just telling me what I want to hear. What should I expect in joining the army or should I change mos?
Link to Comment Chain
So I've been out of the Army a year and some change, where do we get documents since AKO is retired? I need a copy of my DD-214
Link to Comment Chain
My husband is finishing bootcamp and I was promised by a few recruiters that our infant son and I will be given special permissions to come live together during his 9-month AIT. On a different thread folks have warned me that this doesn't happen any more and I'm freaking out just a bit. Has anyone heard of this happening in the last few years? are families with really young kids and really long AIT durations worthy exceptions that anyone is aware of?
Link to Comment Chain
Hey y’all I’m 23 and I’m planning on joining the reserve by the end of the year and was wondering if I’m able to attend airborne, ranger, special forces as a reserved? Also does mos skill transfer into the civilian world?
Link to Comment Chain
I’m 22F and I want to be a Delta Force operator. I’m 5’8” and 168lbs.
Has a woman ever graduated Delta Force selection? Does anyone have advice for females that want to join Delta Force?
I can’t find much information online about female Delta Force operators.
Link to Comment Chain
I'm Enlisting for active duty, assuming any MOS can be selected off a 95 ASVAB score . What MOS (if any) have the best quality of life? Mostly see 18 and 35 series as recommended the most, any reason in particular?
-Hours-Location (if it matters)-Whatever you can come up with-Chances of getting BAH ASAP or not having to live in base
Can't think of anything else, but any pros/cons that would weigh in favor of pros for said MOS. Preferably not jumping out of planes type stuff.... rapelling is fine tho.
Please no "look up for an MOS that you are passionate about or really want to do because you will be stuck with it and be hate your time in."
Link to Comment Chain
Although hindsight is 20/20, what MOS should I have picked with these scores?
ASVAB line scores
Link to Comment Chain
Are drill sergeants allowed to read recruits mail? I’m talking just letters, not packages.
Link to Comment Chain
What is officer basic training like? Is it like BCT, if so in what ways? I know you need a Bachelor’s Degree in order to be an officer
Link to Comment Chain
What does life look like for a 255S?
How does that change with rank, WO1-WO5?
Link to Comment Chain
What does the xo do in a battalion? Are they involved with basic training and the privates at all?
Link to Comment Chain
Hey guys, soon to be enlisted and had a question on my career and what would be best going forward.
So joining at 27 with a bachelors and wanted to do something unique/actually doing the job while also being helpful in getting a career once I get out. Can't go officer because of previous law violations. Currently my mentality is just go for an MOS where I can max out my bonus so I can throw all of that into TSP/IRA, go green to gold when I can, and try to go to every school that I can (airborne, ranger, etc.)
Currently looking at 19K cause tank go boom, big bonus, and I also have a passion for mechanics which is a career path I wouldn't mind too much especially if I can go to trade school while I'm in. Then eventually reclass to a tech field if possible and go tech/intel.
Does this sound like a sound like a good plan or is there another route that I am not seeing that would be more beneficial?
Link to Comment Chain
I'll be joining my husband in July once he finishes basic and moving with our baby to live together during AIT. Does anyone know what that experience might be like and whether or not we'll have the option to live off-post? I know they are making an exception for us to live together as a family since People in AIT generally are in dorms. Any information would be helpful!
Link to Comment Chain
Probably a stupid question- Can you split up your TLE days when PCSing? And if you do, do the days you check out of the hotel count "against" the TLE day count?
Link to Comment Chain
How many times do pogs go to train in the field? For example how many times would 68n train a year?
Link to Comment Chain
Would 68Ws assigned to an armor unit be permitted to wear tanker boots or no?
Link to Comment Chain
When you guys buy boots do you buy your true size? Given that boots socks may be a little thicker?
Link to Comment Chain
I'm very Interested in joining. I'm a female with a stature of 4'11. Currently I'm incredibly overweight-I'm trying to fix that. Would you recommend "PT" level workouts everyday or something more intense? What has helped you lose weight? I have lost 10 pounds so far with mostly just walking which is only the start, but looking for workouts that would help shed weight more effectively. Thanks in advanced!
Link to Comment Chain
Sat down with my recruiter and told him I did weed back in 2020. Should i have just denied this? Will this disqualify me?
Link to Comment Chain
What made you choose the army over any other branches of military? At what age did you say “yeah ima join the army?”
Link to Comment Chain
I need to advice on which jobs have good transferable skills into the civilian world my recruiter told me the field artillery promotes the best but I’m looking for more skills I can learn for when I get out. I got some mechanical jobs and I don’t know anything about mechanic stuff so no clue how I got them but I got 13M 35P 91A 13B 14T 91J 92F 92G 88M 91B 91C 91D 91S
Link to Comment Chain
So idk if this is the right spot to ask this but I'm currently stationed in Alaska with a DEROS of 20240907. I've been in for six years, currently an 11B E5 but hoping to pickup soon (ALC complete and all that jazz). Right now my parents are in South Carolina specifically around the fort Jackson area. They're not in good health so I am trying to see if I can volunteer to be a drill sergeant or recruiter to cut my DEROS short and take those assignments.
My questions are basically:
Can I leave an OCONUS assignment early to volunteer for drill/recruiting?
And if so, am I able to pick my location as a drill sergeant or recruiter if I volunteer, compared to being DA selected.
Any questions would be appreciated. I've gotten like seven different answers between my career counselor, PSG, internet, and even the recruiting teams and branch managers:
Link to Comment Chain
What does a division special projects officer do? Would like a brief explanation of their role and life
Link to Comment Chain
Arms 2.1 fat camp. Whats your experience? Easy to pass? RN BMI is 30 need 28
Link to Comment Chain
When I log into DEERS, it says my email is still in the old format of, "name"[email protected]. I still haven't received any email about my levy brief or updates about going into IPPS-A to complete Member Elections (I already have on my own). Could this be an issue if the new official email is now "name"[email protected]? This is the email I've been checking.
Link to Comment Chain
Im leaving soon for basic and Im curious; What MOS's in the army are the best and worst for quality of life? I know everyone is going to say "it depends" because if you like being outside in the woods, you are likely to enjoy being in the infantry more than a supply guy, and I understand that. However there are some jobs that are objectively cushy and some jobs that objectively suck.
Some things that would make a community suck
-horrible leadership -consistently long hours - lack of unit pride - lack of comradery -lack of purpose
some things that would make a community nicer
-better work/life balance - stationed at fewer bases/ less relocation of family -high unit pride/comradery
I am especially curious of quality of life within combat arms as well as EOD and intel, but I wanna hear about any job/community if its really good or really bad.
Thanks for any input.
Link to Comment Chain
Any dog handlers stationed in MieSau Germany?
Link to Comment Chain
My boyfriend is thinking of joining the US Army. No kids and no want for kids, so don't have to take that into consideration. We do live together, and we do have pets (because i know its been said to consider pets) So...Pros and cons of joining the military? What do you wish you knew before joining the military that you didn't find out until after joining? What did you have as a concern before joining that wasn't really much of a concern after? What wasn't a concern and it should have been the entire time? What should one joining be leery of? What about life after the military? Job opportunities, civilian life, difficulty adjusting, dealing with the VA (do you HAVE to use the VA once out of the military? I know my dad has constant issues with them) Just trying to gather as much information as possible so he can make the best decision for himself and what he wants in life long-term with as many facts as possible..after all, once he joins, he's property of the US government for the remainder of his contract and then some) Any help is very much appreciated and of course, thank you all for your role and your sacrifices in keeping us safe. I know it's not always easy, but it's much appreciated.
Link to Comment Chain
Just graduated and will be attending West Point next year. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do, but I’d like some inside knowledge to make sure I’m making the right choices now that will prepare me down the road. I know it sounds cliché, but simply put I want to jump out of planes and make things go boom. I’m very active, love grueling physical work, and want to push myself in what I do. What MOSs/schools/units should I be looking into now that will set me up for this?
Link to Comment Chain

I’ve heard that going airborne will end up screwing up your back and knees up hard, but that also it’s more about the amount of rucking airborne units do.
Is the large amount of rucking the case for everyone who’s airborne or specifically infantry? For example if I went in as a 13B with a option 4, would I ruck as much as an airborne infantrymen or is the general complaint of shot back and knees about being infantry and airborne?
Link to Comment Chain
I am posting this for a friend, but if anybody can provide an answer, I think he would find it helpful:
I ets'ed in 07/2017 then reenlisted in 04/2023, so I'm past the 5 years. But when I signed my contract there were only orders for AIT. When I asked the counselor he said, "You don't go back to Basic. You go to Fort X to in process, then head to AIT." Yet, here I am getting sent to BCT.
Anything I can do here?
I'm not really hungry but I'll take one contract for the Coast Guard, please.
Link to Comment Chain
Since yesterday in IPPS-A, the announcement tile has said "1 unread". When i open the tile, i have around 6 or so announcements, and i have opened them all. None of them require any action. Any ideas on what this could mean? Or is this IPPS-A being IPPS-A?
Link to Comment Chain
Anyone know if someone in 75th Ranger Regiment who is a combat engineer will deal w more explosives such as clearing mines than a "normal" combat engineer?
Link to Comment Chain
Hey guys, new to this thread. I am a Citadel Cadet participating in a Royal Lao Airborne ground school training this weekend to get Static Line qualified. We will be doing 5 SL jumps with a Royal Lao Jump Master, U.S. Army Jump Master, and Australian Jump Master, As a result, we will be awarded wings from the RLA, the US Army "Jump Wings," and the Australian Parachutist wings. Am I authorized to wear the US Army "Jump Wings" on my Cadet uniform as I will have been awarded them for jumping with a US Jump Master, but have not completed Airborne School? I understand the foreign wings are authorized, but was concerned about the US Wings, as I believe I may have found myself in a 'gray zone.' If anyone has some guidance, I would greatly appreciate it. - Have a great day.
Link to Comment Chain
I’m 18 years old and I graduate this Sunday the 21st of may. I’ve been talking to my recruiter and he gave me the run down on benefits of the army. I’m considering going full time and interested in mos 91E as a career path. I’m sure my recruiter is just telling me what I want to hear. What should I expect in joining the army or should I change mos?
Link to Comment Chain
So I've been out of the Army a year and some change, where do we get documents since AKO is retired? I need a copy of my DD-214
Link to Comment Chain
My husband is finishing bootcamp and I was promised by a few recruiters that our infant son and I will be given special permissions to come live together during his 9-month AIT. On a different thread folks have warned me that this doesn't happen any more and I'm freaking out just a bit. Has anyone heard of this happening in the last few years? are families with really young kids and really long AIT durations worthy exceptions that anyone is aware of?
Link to Comment Chain
Hey y’all I’m 23 and I’m planning on joining the reserve by the end of the year and was wondering if I’m able to attend airborne, ranger, special forces as a reserved? Also does mos skill transfer into the civilian world?
Link to Comment Chain
I’m 22F and I want to be a Delta Force operator. I’m 5’8” and 168lbs.
Has a woman ever graduated Delta Force selection? Does anyone have advice for females that want to join Delta Force?
I can’t find much information online about female Delta Force operators.
Link to Comment Chain
I'm Enlisting for active duty, assuming any MOS can be selected off a 95 ASVAB score . What MOS (if any) have the best quality of life? Mostly see 18 and 35 series as recommended the most, any reason in particular?
-Hours-Location (if it matters)-Whatever you can come up with-Chances of getting BAH ASAP or not having to live in base
Can't think of anything else, but any pros/cons that would weigh in favor of pros for said MOS. Preferably not jumping out of planes type stuff.... rapelling is fine tho.
Please no "look up for an MOS that you are passionate about or really want to do because you will be stuck with it and be hate your time in."
Link to Comment Chain
Although hindsight is 20/20, what MOS should I have picked with these scores?
ASVAB line scores
Link to Comment Chain
Are drill sergeants allowed to read recruits mail? I’m talking just letters, not packages.
Link to Comment Chain
What is officer basic training like? Is it like BCT, if so in what ways? I know you need a Bachelor’s Degree in order to be an officer
Link to Comment Chain
What does life look like for a 255S?
How does that change with rank, WO1-WO5?
Link to Comment Chain
What does the xo do in a battalion? Are they involved with basic training and the privates at all?
Link to Comment Chain
Hey guys, soon to be enlisted and had a question on my career and what would be best going forward.
So joining at 27 with a bachelors and wanted to do something unique/actually doing the job while also being helpful in getting a career once I get out. Can't go officer because of previous law violations. Currently my mentality is just go for an MOS where I can max out my bonus so I can throw all of that into TSP/IRA, go green to gold when I can, and try to go to every school that I can (airborne, ranger, etc.)
Currently looking at 19K cause tank go boom, big bonus, and I also have a passion for mechanics which is a career path I wouldn't mind too much especially if I can go to trade school while I'm in. Then eventually reclass to a tech field if possible and go tech/intel.
Does this sound like a sound like a good plan or is there another route that I am not seeing that would be more beneficial?
Link to Comment Chain
I'll be joining my husband in July once he finishes basic and moving with our baby to live together during AIT. Does anyone know what that experience might be like and whether or not we'll have the option to live off-post? I know they are making an exception for us to live together as a family since People in AIT generally are in dorms. Any information would be helpful!
Link to Comment Chain
Probably a stupid question- Can you split up your TLE days when PCSing? And if you do, do the days you check out of the hotel count "against" the TLE day count?
Link to Comment Chain
How many times do pogs go to train in the field? For example how many times would 68n train a year?
Link to Comment Chain
Would 68Ws assigned to an armor unit be permitted to wear tanker boots or no?
Link to Comment Chain
When you guys buy boots do you buy your true size? Given that boots socks may be a little thicker?
Link to Comment Chain
I'm very Interested in joining. I'm a female with a stature of 4'11. Currently I'm incredibly overweight-I'm trying to fix that. Would you recommend "PT" level workouts everyday or something more intense? What has helped you lose weight? I have lost 10 pounds so far with mostly just walking which is only the start, but looking for workouts that would help shed weight more effectively. Thanks in advanced!
Link to Comment Chain
Sat down with my recruiter and told him I did weed back in 2020. Should i have just denied this? Will this disqualify me?
Link to Comment Chain
What made you choose the army over any other branches of military? At what age did you say “yeah ima join the army?”
Link to Comment Chain
I need to advice on which jobs have good transferable skills into the civilian world my recruiter told me the field artillery promotes the best but I’m looking for more skills I can learn for when I get out. I got some mechanical jobs and I don’t know anything about mechanic stuff so no clue how I got them but I got 13M 35P 91A 13B 14T 91J 92F 92G 88M 91B 91C 91D 91S
Link to Comment Chain
So idk if this is the right spot to ask this but I'm currently stationed in Alaska with a DEROS of 20240907. I've been in for six years, currently an 11B E5 but hoping to pickup soon (ALC complete and all that jazz). Right now my parents are in South Carolina specifically around the fort Jackson area. They're not in good health so I am trying to see if I can volunteer to be a drill sergeant or recruiter to cut my DEROS short and take those assignments.
My questions are basically:
Can I leave an OCONUS assignment early to volunteer for drill/recruiting?
And if so, am I able to pick my location as a drill sergeant or recruiter if I volunteer, compared to being DA selected.
Any questions would be appreciated. I've gotten like seven different answers between my career counselor, PSG, internet, and even the recruiting teams and branch managers:
Link to Comment Chain
What does a division special projects officer do? Would like a brief explanation of their role and life
Link to Comment Chain
Arms 2.1 fat camp. Whats your experience? Easy to pass? RN BMI is 30 need 28
Link to Comment Chain
When I log into DEERS, it says my email is still in the old format of, "name"[email protected]. I still haven't received any email about my levy brief or updates about going into IPPS-A to complete Member Elections (I already have on my own). Could this be an issue if the new official email is now "name"[email protected]? This is the email I've been checking.
Link to Comment Chain
Im leaving soon for basic and Im curious; What MOS's in the army are the best and worst for quality of life? I know everyone is going to say "it depends" because if you like being outside in the woods, you are likely to enjoy being in the infantry more than a supply guy, and I understand that. However there are some jobs that are objectively cushy and some jobs that objectively suck.
Some things that would make a community suck
-horrible leadership -consistently long hours - lack of unit pride - lack of comradery -lack of purpose
some things that would make a community nicer
-better work/life balance - stationed at fewer bases/ less relocation of family -high unit pride/comradery
I am especially curious of quality of life within combat arms as well as EOD and intel, but I wanna hear about any job/community if its really good or really bad.
Thanks for any input.
Link to Comment Chain
Any dog handlers stationed in MieSau Germany?
Link to Comment Chain
My boyfriend is thinking of joining the US Army. No kids and no want for kids, so don't have to take that into consideration. We do live together, and we do have pets (because i know its been said to consider pets) So...Pros and cons of joining the military? What do you wish you knew before joining the military that you didn't find out until after joining? What did you have as a concern before joining that wasn't really much of a concern after? What wasn't a concern and it should have been the entire time? What should one joining be leery of? What about life after the military? Job opportunities, civilian life, difficulty adjusting, dealing with the VA (do you HAVE to use the VA once out of the military? I know my dad has constant issues with them) Just trying to gather as much information as possible so he can make the best decision for himself and what he wants in life long-term with as many facts as possible..after all, once he joins, he's property of the US government for the remainder of his contract and then some) Any help is very much appreciated and of course, thank you all for your role and your sacrifices in keeping us safe. I know it's not always easy, but it's much appreciated.
Link to Comment Chain
Just graduated and will be attending West Point next year. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do, but I’d like some inside knowledge to make sure I’m making the right choices now that will prepare me down the road. I know it sounds cliché, but simply put I want to jump out of planes and make things go boom. I’m very active, love grueling physical work, and want to push myself in what I do. What MOSs/schools/units should I be looking into now that will set me up for this?
Link to Comment Chain

This is a good friend of mine who has been missing for over 3 days.
***NEWEST UPDATE: License plate read in Henderson Nevada on I11 (right near Las Vegas, Red Rock Canyon, Sloan Canyon, Hoover Dam...) He has been to Vegas a few times in the past few years and enjoyed it, especially walking down the strip, Area 15, and most likely any nearby secluded nature areas. He made mentions of suicide and disappearance especially into nature before leaving while his fiancée and 2 children were asleep. Reasons to think he might be headed towards secluded wilderness areas in or around Nevada at this point, or Las Vegas itself. If someone in this community happens to cross paths with him if he's out on the streets trying to blend in or parked in an isolated nature area, etc it would be a really helpful tip for us to bring him home safely.
*** Please be on the lookout for this car (silver 2022 Toyota highlander - CT license plate BE35285 - generic pic attached) ***
Left from Manchester CT on 5/30. Originally thought he could be in CT, NY, PA, MI, or along the Appalachian Trail. Received one license plate reading from Binghamton NY 3 days ago, one in Illinois heading west on Rt 55 2 days ago, an ATM withdrawal in Tonganoxie Kansas yesterday ***
Concerned for his safety and wellbeing. Feel free to share to any communities. *** Please call Manchester CT police if you have any information.
*** Police report link: https://atlasone.app/alerts/71d10450-f23b-4af7-a4e4-159f27a69d79
(Attached photos of his car type, and the bag and tattoo described in the alert.)

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We recently got off university for summer break a month ago. Since she’s an international student, but we decided to go back to our respective home country right as the break started. We also planned on meeting each other at our countries, where she came to visit me for 10 days and I visit her for 10 days.
Prior to this vacation, she told me a story once about her once drunk making out with her guy friend (21M) which I’ll call Kevin. When she told me about this I thought nothing about it because it was just in the past and it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Jumping forward back to the break. My first few days with her felt off, she wasn’t behaving the same around me, so I decided to confront her about who she’s been messaging. She told me she’s been only messaging her two close female friends. However, when I asked to see her messages, I saw her and Kevin messaging each other. When I confronted her about this situation, she said they only message that one specific day, but I told her to open the chat, and to my surprise, the chat with Kevin has been going back and fourth since the break started. Since the chat with Kevin is all in Korean, and I can’t read Korean, she manipulated me into thinking that they were only talking about food. At that point, I knew she secretly met up with Kevin because she sent me fake photos of her being with her friend when she was with Kevin.
Her messages with Kevin was quite interesting. Whenever my girlfriend sends a photo of her, he would always respond with cute or sexy. Often times he would always ask her to go meet up.
After confronting her about her messages, I held my information about knowing the contents of the messages, and waited to see what’s going to happen. Few days have gone by and I noticed every time I walk near her, she would quickly swipe away from what she’s doing. I drew the line and confronted her about what I thought was her messaging Kevin on a different messaging app. This time I didn’t let her go and I translated all the messages with her beside me. She bragged to Kevin about how she switched messaging apps and turned off notifications so that I wouldn’t catch her texting him. It was also when I realized that she was going to meet up with him while I was visiting her homeland, where she told me she’s just going out with her friends. At that point I confronted her about what she said and lied about. She admitted that she developed feelings after coming back from school and they’ve been having feelings for each other. She justified that it wasn’t cheating because they aren’t actually going to date, but went out together not as friends, but as something else. I accused her of cheating, but she didn’t seem to feel guilty at all. My cowardly self decided to give her a second chance because I couldn’t let go.
Jumping to today, I am letting her hang out with her with Kevin but I reminded to her to draw boundaries and she shouldn’t cross them. I’m even letting her hangout with Kevin in the next few days. We’ve planned for her to hangout with her friends and I go explore the country by myself just for a day. But I discovered that on that day, she is going to bring Kevin back into our hotel room, and she bragged about how she’s going to take both keycards. I’m shook that she’s still so proud of her actions, but I still can’t let go despite her being disgusting. I’m planning to not give her the keycard or ask for another one, and come into the hotel room when they’re scheduled to meet, but I don’t know if this is the best idea since I still have 4 more days of the trip left with her.
Why is it that I find myself not being able to end this despite what she's doing to me?
TL;DR: I caught my girlfriend cheating with her old classmate, but I gave her a second chance because I couldn’t let go of her. Despite this she is still crossing the boundaries.

What’s the result when a bunch of teenagers make shit up for their creative writing exercises all meditate and have dreams about spirit animal guides, and post on a talking cat roleplay forum about it?
An evil polar bear that tries to kill you.
This is the third write-up I’ve made about Virtual Warrior World, a Proboards roleplay forum based on the Warrior Cats book series by Erin Hunter, which I’ve already covered in these two previous posts. Some forum members I mentioned in the first post also show up here, as you’ll see later. (You don’t have to read any of the other posts to get what’s going on here, but the first gives more in-depth context.)
Spirit Animals
A spirit animal, also known as a totem, is a sacred guide that can take the form of an animal and is seen as a protector. Spirit animals are important in many cultures, including certain Native American ones (such as the Ojibwe). They also tend to be appropriated by neopagans, New Age hippies, and white American teenagers.
Obligatory disclaimer time: I don’t know anything about spirit animals other than what’s written about them on Wikipedia. This writeup is NOT intended to mock anyone’s spiritual or religious beliefs, nor make a claim that such cultural beliefs around spirit animals are inherently “fake” or “imaginary”. It’s important to note that nobody in this club (as far as I know) was Native American or indigenous, nobody performed religious rites or even acknowledged such aspects, and several members years after the fact admitted that they had been making the whole thing up and never saw any spirit guides, animal or otherwise. This writeup is all in the spirit (no pun intended) of fun, and is not in any way supposed to be commentary on real religions or cultures.
Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the club itself.
The Spirit Animal Club
On VWW, there was a section dedicated to clubs that members could make about their interests. The site admin, Jai, made a fair few clubs of her own and created sub-boards for them (one of them was a fan club for The Lonely Island, whom you might know as the masterminds behind such iconic hits as “Jizz in My Pants” and “I’m On a Boat”); if your club got popular enough, she would make a board for it too. So there were clubs dedicated to the usual subjects: debate, writing, gaming, anime, the LGBTQ+ community, etc.
One particularly notable club was the spirit animal club, which a (white) member named Abby (whose character was Skyflight) came up with and Jai made a board for. The club’s actual name was “Animal Spirit Guides Club”, but because that was too clunky, everybody just called it the spirit animal club.
The club was about who could write the most creative story about yourself and your favorite animal finding your spirit animal and connecting with other members who were communing with theirs. You didn’t have to have your own spirit guide to join; anybody could sign up, but the point of joining was that you would somehow find it eventually.
Abby’s spirit animal was a hawk named Farrow; Jai’s was an eagle named Baldwin. Most spirit animals were “cool” or “pretty” animals in that vein, such as tigers, cheetahs, foxes, bears, panthers, deer, horses, robins, swans, ravens, and wolves (that last one was particularly common, for some reason…). Rare were the outliers: one had a boa constrictor as their spirit guide. Another had a clownfish. And absolutely no one had, say, a slug or a mole rat as their spirit animal.
The club was divisive: it was pretty popular at its peak (around fifty-nine members!), but it had its naysayers who wanted to get rid of it. The most vocal of them was Mike (the resident gay admin who hated his job for a myriad of reasons), who knew thought the whole thing was a creative writing exercise and (by his own admission) also sort of, kind of wanted it gone out of spite. He might have succeeded if it had been smaller or less popular, but because Jai herself was a member, it stayed.
Other than that, everything was smooth sailing. Discussions centered on how to meditate to find your spirit animal, what your spirit animal was like, what your spirit animal told you today, what your spirit animal ate for breakfast…okay, not that last one, but you get the idea.
One memorable thread discussed past lives: Steph (the staffer who later helped with the hack of VWW) claimed she had been a Native American girl in a Seneca tribe who drowned in a river when she was around twelve to fourteen. Another member named Jenny said she had once lived in ancient Greece and died when she fell from a cliff. Abby had a whole saga about how in her past life, she had been an ancient Egyptian princess who was murdered by her stepmother for challenging her authority, and she had an evil older brother and an older sister (no word on whether or not the sister was evil too), and her father was the Pharaoh for a short time (which somehow explained Abby’s bad relationship with her own dad), and her mother had been one of the Pharaoh’s concubines, so her stepmother was hateful because she couldn’t have children of her own, and…
You get the idea. The thread capped off with one more member claiming her past life had been as a First Nations girl who loved salmon and ran away from home in winter when she was twelve, then froze to death, and concluding that was why she hated wearing scarves or hats in winter.
Notice that all these past lives ended in dramatic deaths at a young age, and nobody had died from old age or illness. That was the spirit animal club for you.
But alas, such peace could not last long. That leads us to:
One, Two, Jason's Coming for You
Remember the outlier with the clownfish for a spirit guide? Her name was Jessica (she was also a staff member; her character was Sparrowfeather), her clownfish was named Chloe, and one day in October 2010, she (not the clownfish) made a post that would change everything for the club.
In this post, she detailed how she had fallen asleep and dreamed that she was looking for Chloe. When she went to a pond, a polar bear showed up and she assumed he was a spirit guide too. She asked who he was, and he introduced himself as Jason before attacking her. Fortunately, a leopard named Amber showed up in the nick of time to protect her; unfortunately, she woke up with sore and red arms that left her scratching them. Totally befuddled by the whole thing that definitely happened, she asked what it meant.
The first reply was from a member named Jordan, who oh so helpfully told her that Jason was probably a “shadow guide” (without explaining what that meant) and that she probably deserved to nearly be killed because she must’ve done something bad to warrant it! Classy. The other replies were about the same level of usefulness, with nobody understanding where this Jason weirdo had come from.
Later, Jessica posted again in her thread that Amber told her Jason was not her spirit animal, and that her clownfish guide, Chloe, had once been contacted by the kid Jason was supposed to guide. The kid died, Jason blamed Chloe for it, and the fish went into hiding. How exactly a clownfish from the astral plane was able to cause the death of a child went unexplained.
Abby’s helpful advice was that Jessica should research leopards and polar bears, and eventually confront Jason to get rid of him. She cited the fact that she and Jai had both apparently had a problem with an “evil guide” in the past and dealt with it by confronting it, but unfortunately didn’t elaborate on how that happened.
There was some radio silence for a bit, then Jessica posted again. Her next thread was about how she had a dream of walking up a creek and encountering a panther that could shapeshift. Conveniently, she somehow realized that it was Jason, and then it turned into a polar bear and attacked her. When she called out to her spirit guide for help, Amber helpfully told her that she’d been told not to “interfere with destiny” and sent her good wishes, spouted off some poorly Google Translated random Italian, and disappeared, leaving Jessica on her own to wake up just as Jason tried to kill her again. Couldn’t ask for a better spirit guide.
Jessica naturally asked her friends what this meant; Abby posited that the Italian that Amber had spoken was her giving Jessica her magic energy (as it literally translates to “Security for the baby. Sure it will. Out of harm's way, oh, can win the battle. I am sending my will, my strength and power. Let child.”). When Jessica asked if Jason was an evil spirit (as anyone would do after nearly being murdered in their sleep by an evil polar bear), Abby said definitively that Jason was a lost spirit animal without a human.
All was quiet for about two months, but like any good slasher movie villain, Jason made his return (making his name even more appropriate—funny, that). His next victim was fittingly Jordan. Jordan had (allegedly) had a problem of his own with his spirit animals three months ago: he’d had two spirit guides, a wolf named Nightshade and a snake named Ankh, and they left him because they were “messengers” to herald his real spirit animal, a snowy owl named Aurora. That would’ve been well and good until, horror of horrors, he dreamed that Nightshade was attacked!
He found Nightshade bleeding violet blood, which we all know talking wolves have, because Jason mauled him. Aurora, ever the helpful type, told Jordan that they could protect him from Jason for a while, but like any good heroic anime protagonist, he’d have to face Jason eventually. Apparently, Jason was a demon who fed on fear and negativity, and the only way to ward him off was to show no emotion around him. The unmentioned alternative solution would probably have been to turn your back when he tries to attack you so that he’ll evaporate…wait, wrong slasher villain. Never mind.
Anyway, Jordan’s post did not get the attention he so desperately craved; he only got one response from another member named Zach, who told him to meditate and then wished he had his own spirit animal so he could ask them about Jason. Jordan’s reply was to give the sage advice to everyone in the club to get away from any sign of Jason in the “physical world”, which apparently includes movie posters and stuffed animals, because he’s totally an Empath™ and can tell that, shockingly, the polar bear that keeps trying to attack people feels “anger, bloodlust, and death-urges”! Who’d-a thunk it?
The next day, a girl named Carolyn posted about how her two spirit animals had disappeared. When she encountered a polar bear, she asked him if he’d seen one of them, he introduced himself as Jason, and attacked her until a hawk showed up and scared him off. The only advice she got was to meditate more, and Jordan helpfully told her that Jason was dangerous and had raging bloodlust (just in case she might have gotten confused and thought Jason was going around to give hugs).
The thread petered out after she claimed that the hawk told her that her previous spirit animals had left her forever, presumably to avoid dealing with any pesky bears. Ah, spirit animals. Gotta love ‘em.
Literally one day later, a club member named Emily piped up with a Jason story of her own. She claimed that not only did she believe her spirit animal, a white tiger named Leila, had been with her since she was a kid, she also believed Jason had been trying to target her back then. Apparently, she asked her mother about her childhood and whether or not polar bears had been involved, and her mother definitely told her that Emily had once woken up, screaming, “He’s gonna get me, the polar bear!”
So from this totally legit information, Emily drew the logical conclusion that Jason was going to try to kill her, and she could destroy him, and like any good chosen one protagonist, only she could do it. Somehow.
Her fellow club members—including Zach and Jordan—were not so accepting of her radical ideas, and told her she was being paranoid and to get some sleep (because, you know, that’s totally what you should do when you think an evil polar bear’s trying to kill you in your dreams).
Jordan added the crucial information that demons didn’t focus on solely one target and sought to create as much chaos as possible, because I guess he somehow became the expert on demons in addition to being an Empath™. He also claimed that Jason was actually rather cute if you got past him trying to murder everyone, because we all know attempting to murder children is a very minor character flaw that can be easily overlooked.
Emily’s response? She claimed she somehow fell asleep immediately after posting, was attacked by Jason in her dream, and screamed for Leila, who didn’t show up. How convenient! The only advice she got after that was to talk to Abby or Jai about it, since they were the club admins.
Three, Four, Better Lock Your Door
Not even a week passed before a fourth member, Jody, posted that she'd seen Jason too. She had been trying to contact her own spirit guide, a swan named Dooslan, when Jason showed up. She asked him what his name was, he told her his name like any true gentleman would, and then started attacking her until a deer and a cardinal showed up and told him "Swiper, no swiping" to stop. Then she woke up.
This sent the other members into a tizzy, and Zach suggested that Jason, like any classic anime villain, was planning something. Steph claimed that her spirit animal told her that saying Jason's name was what made him appear. Another member claimed that she got blurry visions of Jason even though she hadn’t even tried to contact her spirit animal.
Four days later, a member named Lilly posted about how she’d been talking to her spirit animal, a wolf named Lacriasca, until the wolf suddenly vanished (adding another example to the pattern of spirit animals being useless thus far) and she woke up back in the real world. Then, while still in said real world, she saw Jason in front of her! And what was her reaction to being faced with this notorious terrorizer of teens she knew on the internet?
Hug him, of course.
Naturally, this ended with her arm being broken—but not by Jason, actually! She told another member that she’d been meditating outside, then conveniently got hit by a basketball right before Jason showed up. And she had somehow been able to hug this angry astral plane polar bear with an arm that got broken moments earlier by a basketball. Or the basketball breaking her arm was caused by Jason’s arrival, I’m not sure. It’s not really clear. Maybe Jason was also a basketball player in addition to being a killer polar bear?
Jenny made a thread to document the pattern of everyone who got attacked by Jason. Jessica herself commented and was shocked, shocked, that Jason had obtained more victims! No one had any solutions to this problem, except for Abby and, surprisingly, resident spirit animal doubter Mike. Sort of.
Five, Six, Grab Your…Wait, That’s It?
Several days later, Mike posted a simple challenge on the board for a member to explain what exactly their “spirit animal” business was all about. Abby reacted to this very calmly and gracefully, as you can see here, and told everyone else in the club not to respond to him. After some back-and-forth between them, Abby linked to an expert on spirit animals to show where she’d gotten her interest in them. Personally, I have no idea who this guy is or how much of a verified expert he is on spirit guides, but the font he uses for everything on his site is Papyrus. Make of that what you will.
Although Abby wasn’t a fan of Mike’s little stunt, she did agree with one point he’d brought up—namely, that spirituality was largely based on your subconscious and what you manifested of it through dreams, meditation, or the like. She made a thread to lay down the law about Jason: it was best to no longer give him attention because it would make the issue worse, and the only person she believed about the Jason attacks was Jessica—everyone else was overreacting, because she (somehow) knew for a fact that the spirit world had guards to keep beings like him out. From now on, anyone who wanted to talk about Jason could only do it in a PM to her. No more posting about the evil polar bear.
Not a lot of people responded, but Jenny pointed out the oddity of the fact that Jason had first been classified as a spirit animal without a human and was now considered a demon. Abby’s response was that the whole Jason thing was just a product of an “overactive imagination” (insert obligatory snark about self-awareness here), because spirit animals couldn’t actually hurt people physically at all, let alone cause a broken arm. According to her, Jason couldn’t be a demon because demons work for the devil and no one on the site was a Satan worshiper (as far as we know), and somehow she knew all of this because she’d been attacked by spirit animals before and only got hurt mentally. Unfortunately, she didn’t elaborate on this claim (again).
The only member to respond to Abby after that was Jordan, who suggested that Jason was a figment of a collective imagination and that everyone should stop obsessing over Jason and move on. Sound advice, which Abby agreed with, and that was the end of the thread. All’s well that ends well, right? Well…
Seven, Eight, He’s a Poor Little Cinnamon Roll Now, Actually!
Jordan proceeded to take a massive dump on his own logic and made a thread later that same month, with the oh so civil title of “You People Are Idiots”. He posted about how he’d been meditating in his basement until Jason showed up, touched his nose to Jordan’s chest, somehow caused Jordan to hallucinate about his loved ones, and turned into a little cub.
Then Jordan was transported to his “spirit world”, where he met with Nightshade, Ankh, Aurora, and his fourth newly found spirit guide, a black panther named Masen, because he apparently was somehow soooo special that he got not one, not two, not three, but FOUR spirit animals. The whole gang was shocked that Jason was now a cute cub, and Jordan heard a voice telling him that this would all make sense later. (Spoiler alert: it did not.)
He concluded the post by saying Jason followed him around everywhere now, and threatened to rip anyone who called Jason evil to pieces because he was soooo totally "badass", being an alleged Empath™ with five spirit animals now and all.
The reception to his self-aggrandizing little display was lukewarm, to say the least. Jenny expressed skepticism that Jason was able to attach himself to Jordan, abiding by Jessica's story that Jason was another kid’s intended spirit guide who went rogue and Abby's claim that the “attacks” on the other members were just their imagination. Abby had no response other than to wish him luck with Jason, stating that demons could shapeshift and deceive.
Jordan’s reply was that it did happen, and that he’s totally an Empath™, and Jason’s totally a good guy now, girls, really, he’s a cute little de-aged cub now and everything! He went on to say that his wolf, Nightshade, was wary and always beside him whenever Jason was around (considering that Jason, you know, mauled him and all), and he was ignoring Nightshade now because the wolf (very logically) thought he was going to do something stupid. Truly a guy worthy of having five spirit animals.
Abby and Jenny didn’t take kindly to this and told him to listen to his spirit animal, Jordan conceded the point, and that was that.
Nine, Ten, We Can All Sleep Again
The next month, Jordan posted about how he thought he was being demonically possessed because he kept waking up to bleeding cuts on his arm. He claimed that this demon possessed him to go into the restroom during class and cut the name “Drew” into his arm with a paperclip, and he somehow knew that was the spirit’s name. Oh, and he was sure his friend was being possessed too because, uh…her pupils were big and “gear-shaped” (I assume this was a typo), and she was laughing a lot and being clingy. Because those count as signs of demonic possession now.
Zach advised him to meditate, but Jordan whined he couldn’t do that because all his spirit animals except for Jason were (understandably) ignoring him. The only one talking to him was Jason, who had no advice because he was currently infantilized. No one else had much valuable advice, and Emily (remember her?) told him on her other account to get holy water or an exorcism. Jordan rejected both options because of his hatred for priests and shared that the demon’s full name was Drusilla (because I guess she took the time to introduce herself in between the self-mutilations).
Conveniently, he refused to post any photos of his arm’s cut because it was too “gross” (sure, Jan). When advised to burn sage instead, he claimed he’d already tried that and helpfully filled in that his spirit animals had previously been shunning him because of Jason, so he cut ties with the cub, and now his guides were fighting the demons for him. So much for ripping anyone who insulted Jason to pieces.
Emily told him he had to say holy words while burning the sage to make it work, and that he shouldn’t get a “Lugi board” (I presume she meant “ouija board”) because that’d make it worse. Jordan responded that the demons were now conveniently gone and he’d put “protection charms” around his home and his friends (which I guess absolved his friend of her possession too), so it was all resolved now. Yay?
Jason basically faded into irrelevance after that, and only got a mention in two more threads. Carolyn posted again, this time about how she definitely saw a shadowy figure manifest in front of her, and when Zach suggested that it might be Jason in search of a new home, Jordan barged in to “correct” him that Jason wasn’t a demon (which had nothing to do with what Zach had said). Jenny chided Jordan in turn for talking about Jason and reiterated definitively that Jason had been another kid’s spirit animal who solely messed with Jessica, and all other sightings of him had been imaginative. After some spamming from another kid, Abby resolved the matter by stating the shadow figure was not a demon, but a shadow guide (and yet again failed to explain what that was).
The other thread was from a member named Morgan who talked about how, while daydreaming in math class, she had found her spirit animal sitting on the back of a polar bear. When Zach suggested that it was Jason, Abby cut in to reinforce the decree that Jason wasn’t real and had been a figment of everyone’s imagination. Zach reminded her of what Jordan and Jessica had said about him; Jordan screeched once again that his precious little baby Jason (whom he abandoned) wasn’t a demon and was somehow not a spirit, conceded grudgingly that some of Jason’s attacks had been imaginary (presumably not including his own experiences), and whined that people were stupid. Oh, and Morgan said her polar bear’s name was Cascade, but by that point nobody cared.
So, what can be learned from this episode? Not a lot, other than maybe the fact that an evil polar bear can do a lot to grip a bunch of teenagers’ imaginations. Sadly, that was the only exciting thing to ever happen in the spirit animal club, so there’s not much else to write about after that. There are some chat logs discussing the incident years later, though (“Roy” is another name Jordan went by and, to my knowledge, is not his real name).
And on a final note: from what I’ve heard, Abby still believes in spirit animals to this day. Do whatever you want with that information.

Hey everybody, I hope you all are doing well and staying safe!
First off, this will be a bit of a long post, so thank you all for taking the time to read this and for your support!
Right now, I am a third year undergrad in university, and this summer, I have the opportunity to do one of the two. I've been stuck on what to do honestly and was wondering if you all might have input, I'd really appreciate it!
My options for this summer are to either work in a New England city or do a summer online job in my hometown and pursue research on my own.
​
Summer job in New England
Pros:

• +I'll be only an hour or so away from my favorite city, which I'd be super excited about. I've also wanted to visit the city I will be working in my whole life, so it'd be a cool opportunity.
• +The city I'm in has really good public transportation, so on my day off, I'd get to explore it a lot.
• +A lot of my friends also live here, so I'd get the chance to see them.
• +The pay is pretty good and since they're covering my room and food, I don't have to worry about rent, which is super nice, and a great opportunity to be in a city I like.
• +I'll be helping people in my job, and helping people is something I really value and gives meaning in my life.
• +I only work for around 2 months, so even if it does get hard at some point, it'll end quickly.

Cons:

• -I'd be working almost 70 hours each week. I have worked 50 hours per week, and it was very painful, and I'm starting to second guess if I'd be able to manage 70.
• -My Amtrak to this city was cancelled suddenly, which means I now have to book a flight and an extra hotel night, which would cost me nearly 1/6 of my entire salary for the summer, which definitely would suck.
• -If I quit from this job, it'll cause the organization massive problems as they start in a couple of weeks. This is the biggest reason I am hesitant to take the other option because I'd feel extremely selfish and horrible if the program became messed up because I left, and we wouldn't be able to help as many people as we could have if I stayed.

Spending my summer doing online WFH and my own research
Pros:

• +I've been doing this job on-campus, so I'll have a lot of experience doing it and will likely make less mistakes.
• +I'll still be helping people with my job like the other option, which is nice!
• +I have the chance to use some of the free time from not having to work as long to create my own research paper to prepare for grad school and fellowship apps. I unfortunately have had bad luck with research as every professor who agreed me to work me ended up having to back out as they had to move away. Since research is important for grad school, this could make/break whether I can get a PhD someday.
• +More free time and relaxation in general.
• +I get to be home which means I get to spend time with my younger sister and help her out as she is going through a lot right now.

Cons:

• -The pay is a bit worse than the other option.
• -Since I'm working less, I'd be helping people not as frequently as I would for the other job.

Thank you all so much for your advice, I really appreciate it, and I hope you all have a good day/night!

First, I want to say that if you are here reading this, it's because you, too, just lost your pet—my deepest sympathy to you. I know what you are going through. I lost my sweet boy Tuesday morning. The last time I saw him alive was around 4 am. I found him dead around 6:15 am. He was an 11-1/2 y.o. Labrador. We knew he was dying and were planning to bring him in to be PTS that morning. But I'm somewhat glad that he passed at home with us, in his favorite spot. I don't think he was experiencing a lot of pain, though I know death is never easy.
I'm the type of guy that never cries, and I'm old enough that I've lost a lot of close friends and family over the years. But I just can't stop crying and keep getting choked up (like now, as I try to write this).
I think we hurt so bad when we lose a pet for a couple of reasons. We rub their bellies and fur daily as we pet them and show them our love. We look into their eyes in a way that we don't with other people. Close contact and touching create a very powerful bond.
I keep asking myself if I could have prevented this. He was very sick two years ago and was in complete liver and kidney failure. We had brought him to the best specialist in our state. He told us the chances were very slim that he would survive. But he did, and eventually, his bloodwork numbers came back close to normal. But it did a lot of damage. He was on eight different meds, which eventually dropped to six. But still, tons of meds. Then weight gain and lethargy. In the past three months, he really started having a tough time getting around. Then a month ago, his bloodwork showed high ALT and neutrophil. Everything else looked good. Our vet said not to worry about it. It was normal and caused by the prednisone he was on.
I wish I had not taken my vet's advice because I now think he went into sepsis, which killed him. I can't place too much blame on the vet. They only see him for a few minutes every month or two. It's my fault for not demanding more follow-up tests. Plus, I just thought he was coming to that point, getting near the end. His breed only lives 10-14 years, and I know the liver and kidney disease knocked at least two years off his lifespan. His quality of life was not great, but it wasn't awful either.
I'm filled with regret. The silence in my home and knowing that he isn't here and is gone forever is tearing me apart. The stronger the love, the deeper the pain.

So, we already discussed what DC was doing to match the tenor of the early years of the War on Terror: A grim, smarter-than-it-thinks miniseries full of gratuitous rape that was meant to take the shine off the Silver Age by showing the darker side of its greatest heroes. Marvel, on the other hand, was trying to find a way to capture the zeitgeist of a post-9/11 era of existential threats, constant government surveillance, and the idea that if you weren’t with America, you were against it. A Captain America storyline saw Cap wrestle with the very concept of Guantanamo Bay; like any story arc that involves Cap doubting whether America lives up to its ideals, this made certain conservatives pissy, to the point that bad movie cataloguer Michael Medved wrote an entire article asking if Cap was a traitor. Avengers Disassembled briefly saw the Avengers face down their demons, as the Scarlet Witch goes crazy (again) and starts killing team members, her reality manipulations causing fault lines to form among Marvel’s greatest superteam. But there hadn’t yet been a storyline that would tie the entire Marvel Universe together with the burning question, “Which side are you on?”
Yeah, it’s got nothing to do with the Sokovia Accords. We’d be a lot better off if it did.
Part 1: Mark Millar’s March to the C-Word
Content Warning: Sexual assault. None of this is germane to the topic of the drama, so feel free to skip ahead to Part 1.5 if you don’t want to deal with this. Tl;dr: Mark Millar, the writer of the event, has a near pathological need to be a 3edgy5u contrarian.
Every comics crossover is ultimately a chance for one creative in the stable to shine or falter. The editors pick a writer who has turned out dependable work and give them a chance to try to alter the status quo but good. And for Civil War, Marvel’s EiC Joe Quesada decided the best person to lead the charge was Ultimates writer Mark Millar.
But who is Millar? Well, we could say “edgelord” and leave it at that, but we’re trying to dig deeper. Millar came up in comics alongside fellow Scot Grant Morrison, long before Morrison said the only time they want to bump into Millar on the streets of Glasgow is while going at 100 miles per hour. This antipathy is alleged to have stemmed from Millar copping several ideas from Morrison that went into Superman: Red Son. But after getting a start on Superman Adventures and as a cowriter on parts of Morrison’s JLA run, Millar soon branched out to WildStorm, where he took over The Authority from departing creatowritesex pest Warren Ellis.
The reason I bring up Red Son (for those non-geeks, an alternative universe comic premised on “What if Superman’s rocket had landed in Soviet Russia?”) is to frame a constant refrain about Mark Millar. He has good high-concept ideas… which often get trammeled up in an almost Pavlovian urge to shock, disturb, and/or titillate the reader. For instance, in The Authority, Ellis had introduced Apollo and Midnighter, two close companions who just happened to share the rough power sets and demeanors of Superman and Batman, with a few tweaks. Then he revealed they were boyfriends, which was a pretty bold move for a late Nineties comic book full of widescreen action and lovingly-rendered eviscerations.
In Millar’s first arc on the title, centered on a villainous Jack Kirby clone sending out a team of baddies who totally aren’t the Avengers, Apollo is subdued and is strongly implied to have been raped by someone who’s not Captain America. Apollo gets revenge by destroying EvilCap’s spinal column with his laser vision, then leaving him to the tender mercies of Midnighter, who is strongly implied to have sodomized him with a jackhammer.
In case you can’t tell, Millar loved him some rape. And it kept showing up in his creator-owned titles as well, all of which were basically written as Hollywood pitch docs. Wanted asks the question, “What if the supervillains won and secretly ruled the world from behind the scenes?” Well, an Eminem clone would take the opportunity to step into his dead villainous dad’s shoes and commit a lot of rape (yeah, there’s a reason the movie version replaced this with basically the Euthanatos from Mage: the Ascension getting orders from a magic loom). Chosen asks the question, “What if Jesus were born today?” Well, in a blatantly obvious twist, it turns out he’s actually the Antichrist, and part of his journey into realizing his evil nature involves being raped by all the demons of Hell.
It’s not that Millar can’t write innocent or restrained; he got started on the Superman: the Animated Series comic spin-off, and some of his titles such as Huck and Starlight have been praised for being relatively wholesome (keep in mind Huck is basically “What if Superman was Forrest Gump?” when I say “relatively”). And, as mentioned above, his works are made for high-concept log lines. You might recognize some of his various pitch docs: Kick-Ass, The Secret Service (source for the Kingsman movies), and, as mentioned above, Wanted. It’s just there’s this unctuous contrarian streak to a lot of his titles, a tendency to focus on venality, grotesquerie, and sodomy, with an air of pop culture edge. This also leaked into his image outside of his writing, with comments like “Games are for pedos” and ventures like the creator-owned comics periodical CLiNT (yes, the kerning is intentional). This streak continues to this day, as The Magic Order, a title that emerged from his deal with Netflix, features a magical escapologist who, she feels it very important to tell the reader in a direct monologue, escaped her own abortion. Bottom line, Millar has a sense of vision, but it’s betrayed at times by this reflexive desire to prove he’s smarter than the reader, to rub your face in the contradictions and make you a party to the artifice of it all. Usually with a dash of rape.
But at Marvel, Millar was riding the lightning of the Ultimate Universe. His Ultimates title was drawing on the wide-screen action image of JLA and The Authority, creating the cinematic language that would come to define the MCU. The choice to fantasy cast Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury is why we have Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. He also painted the Hulk as a cannibalistic monster, cemented Hank Pym’s reputation as a wifebeater, and gave us Captain America yelling “Surrender? Do you think this A on my head stands for France?”, so let’s just keep that in perspective.
But the Ultimate Universe was its own pocket universe. Millar was being tapped to write a story for Earth-616, the main Marvel Universe. And he had a vision:

“I opted instead for making the superhero dilemma something a little different. People thought they were dangerous, but they did not want a ban. What they wanted was superheroes paid by the federal government like cops and open to the same kind of scrutiny. It was the perfect solution and nobody, as far as I'm aware, has done this before.”

Yeah. About that.
Part 1.5: What Has Come Before
Ultimately, the crux of Civil War is something that has been explored lightly in the past at Marvel: The idea that, instead of being unlicensed vigilantes who decide the best solution of societal issues is to beat up assholes in spandex, superheroes become licensed government officers that register their true identities with Uncle Sam and solve societal issues by beating up assholes in spandex. In Marvel’s history, it hasn’t gone well. The reality of government liaisons to superhero bodies has ranged from Valerie Cooper, who worked with government mutant team X-Factor but still found herself backing the genocidal Sentinel program as a big “Yeah, but what if…?”, to Henry Peter Gyrich, an inflamed obstructionist asshole who had to be held back from flipping a switch that would depower every superhuman individual on Earth. The idea of heroes themselves bristling against a government they disagreed with had a long history, as there was a period where Steve Rogers quit being Captain America, and the government had to find a replacement while he rode around on a motorcycle in a surprisingly slutty costume. But the idea of registering with the government has usually ended up on the “No” side due to one big cohort at Marvel: Mutants.
Ever since the days of Chris Claremont, a general conceit of the Marvel Universe is that mutants are a stand-in for your minority group of choice. Hated and feared, born different and feeling alienated, painted as an existential menace and threat to the status quo. Of course, it’s long been pointed out that the metaphor breaks down on the general grounds that, say, gays can’t shoot laser beams out of their eyes. I have my thoughts on that which I might share in the comments if someone pokes me hard enough, but it’s been general editorial consensus that people with powers, especially those of persecuted minorities, being compelled to share their true names, addresses, and natures with the federal government is a “That train’s never late!” move. Not only that, it’s a slippery slope. The classic X-Men story “Days of Future Past” is entirely premised on the idea that a government program of genocidal robots built to wipe out mutants will eventually run out of mutants… and then start turning on humans who could give birth to mutants, and then it’s Skynet all over again.
Another running meme in the Marvel Universe is that the X-Men usually exist in a Schrodinger’s cat situation with the rest of the superhero universe, both coexisting and in their own worlds. Yes, mutants have served on the Avengers, and yes, Thor intervened when the Morlocks were nearly wiped out in the sewers under New York. But Captain America, for all his proud statements of living up to America’s ideals, has a habit of missing the plot whenever the US government (or Canada, seat of all the Marvel Universe’s governmental evils - no, really) decides it’s Genocide O’Clock. And when the mutant nation of Genosha was completely wiped out by said murder robots, the Avengers seemed to be all “New phone who dis?” But when the two do intersect, there’s usually support for the mutants. One story in Fantastic Four had Reed Richards - Mr. Fantastic, stretchy man, greatest genius in the Marvel Universe, guy who’s probably being cucked by a fish-man - get tapped by the US government to make a device that detects mutants and other people with powers. He does… and then uses it to show why the government probably doesn’t want it, as it pings several members of Congress as having just enough genetic variation to qualify as “mutants,” even if they don’t have powers.
All in all, while the argument has some merit, for years, Marvel has come down on the position that asking people with powers to reveal their identities to the federal government is something that could go really bad if somebody with a hate-on for superheroes ends up in power. Something that would never happen oh yeah it totally did. But before it all went to Hell, Civil War at least gave an opportunity to reexamine the concept and see if it had merit.
It might have. But not with this argument.
Part 1.75: What Else Has Happened Before?
And now, some things that will ultimately give context for what happens next:

• In the pages of Thor, all of Asgard eventually runs headlong into Ragnarok. Thor and the rest of the Asgardians give their lives to save the earth, taking Thor off the board… for now.
• As mentioned above, the Avengers experience a critical fault due to Wanda going batshit (a common lament). With Avengers Mansion destroyed and the team at odds, it is eventually reunited under Tony Stark, who put the Avengers up in a tower he built.
• Nick Fury has vanished due to doing some skullduggery in the pages of the miniseries Secret War (no, not Secret Wars, this is different). Acting head of SHIELD, the all-purpose super spy squad of Marvel, is Maria Hill, who can’t seem to draw her pistol without shooting herself in the foot.
• Due to Wanda continuing to go batshit, the House of M crossover event ends with her casting a spell: “No more mutants.” While the damage is staunched, Earth-616’s population of mutants (which was recently established to be somewhere around 16 million) is reduced to 200, the rest being depowered or dying as a result of being depowered. This was because, as Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada said, the idea of mutants being everywhere made them “boring.” The fact that mutants were starting to be written less as a minority stand-in and more as an actual minority group with fashion, culture, music, and neighborhoods might have had something to do with that. From the wake of this event emerges Sally Floyd, a journalist whose own mutant daughter died before the mass depowering due to having a power that was more curse than blessing. The series Generation M follows her as the viewpoint character as she investigates the stories of former mutants.

Part 2: Connecticut Can’t Catch a Break
The big kick-off for Civil War involves the New Warriors, a team of teen heroes who have, as of a recently canceled series, been trying to make it big as reality TV stars. They get in a fight with a bunch of villains in the small town of Stamford, CT, when exploding villain Nitro goes positively nuclear, resulting in a blast much bigger than any he’s generated. [1] Not only does this mostly wipe out the New Warriors (save for kinetic energy-absorbing goofball Speedball), but it also happens to hit a nearby school. In the end, 612 people are dead, many of them children, and the nation wants answers.
With public opinion turning against the New Warriors, former member Hindsight starts leaking secret identities to get the heat off his back. This only makes things worse. Secret identities have only recently stopped being a thing for some heroes: Captain America only came out a few years ago, it was only recently that Tony Stark stopped pretending Iron Man was his bodyguard, and Daredevil was almost outed in the pages of his book. But something needs to be done, so Tony helps work with Congress to pass the Super Human Registration Act, which requires that all people with powers or working as vigilantes register their identities with the government to receive training and oversight. If you don’t? Believe it or not, jail, right away.
Fault lines quickly develop in the superhero community. While Tony is leading the “pro” side, alongside Reed Richards (yeah, we’ll get to that), Captain America, usually painted as the embodiment of the dream of America despite its compromised history and many sins, is against it. He’s lived through Richard Nixon being a secret fascist and shooting himself in the head after being fingered as mastermind of a vast criminal conspiracy (yes, that happened ); he knows how badly this could go in the wrong hands. Needless to say, Maria Hill and SHIELD hear his concerns, understand his problems with it, and are willing to iron out the kinks through reasoned debate.
Just kidding. Before the law has even been signed, Maria sics SHIELD’s elite Cape-Killers squad on Cap with the intent of getting him behind bars. Cap swiftly goes underground and starts his own group of anti-registration superheroes.
The fight continues for the next few issues. Spider-Man, caught in the middle, reveals himself to be Peter Parker at a press conference, declaring his support for the SHRA. Doctor Strange is so powerful that he tells the government to fuck off, and somehow, Maria Hill doesn’t decide to go charging up his asshole. Ben Grimm, the ever-loving blue-eyed Thing, is so sick of all the conflict he goes to France. But things are still at a stalemate, and while SHIELD may be acting like a bunch of merry assholes, it seems like there’s a debate to be had that could still be resolved reasonably… except for one key factor.
Part 3: I Fought the Law, and the Law… Huh?
No one ever really defined what the Super Human Registration Act, the legislation that tore the Marvel Universe’s superhero community asunder, did. Every book that had an issue that touched on the event seemed to have a different understanding of its principles, as well as just how fascist it might be in the long run. In the pages of She-Hulk, attorney Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk argues the law is a net good, as it gives heroes the backing and resources they need to not have to go it alone, while also having some measure of government oversight. In the pages of Civil War Frontline (oh, and we’ll get back to Civil War Frontline, don’t you worry), Wonder Man is told by the government that he needs to do a job for them, and if he refuses, well, one thousand years dungeon.
Which then leads into the other issue behind the SHRA. Namely, that everyone in favor was either starting to swing towards fascism or embracing bootlicking as a lifestyle, not a kink. In the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, Peter asks Reed Richards, who has always bucked authority and once stopped the US government from doing something just like this with mutants, why he’s pro-registration. Reed then reveals that an uncle who has never been mentioned before was called before HUAC; he refused to name names, his career was ruined, and he killed himself. From this, Reed - the man who stole a rocketship because the government said “no” to his planned space voyage - has learned that the government is always right, especially when they could step on your neck (this was received so badly that a later comic revealed he’d actually borrowed the concept of psychohistory from Asimov’s Foundation, he’d made it work somehow, and his calculations showed that this was the only way to avoid a greater disaster). This comic also revealed that people who were in violation of the SHRA were sent to a literal extradimensional Gitmo, a prison in the Negative Zone that later comics would reveal was overseen by… Captain Marvel. No, not that one. No, not that one. The Kree superhero Captain Mar-Vell, who had famously died of cancer decades before. How did he come back from the dead? Fuck if we know.
This “the law says what you want it to say” approach spread across various books and miniseries meant to cross over into the event. In the pages of a crossover mini between the Runaways and the Young Avengers, this meant SHIELD Cape-Killer squads were using lethal force against teenagers. The second-to-last issue of the mini ends with several members of both teams in extradimensional Gitmo, about to be dissected by a guy who’s horny for torture. The fact that all the captive heroes were the queer members of both teams? Total coincidence. Honestly.
So, it quickly becomes clear that the editorial control on this event is less than cohesive. There are different ideas all over as to what the SHRA does, and some of those ideas are tacking pretty fashy. But if the law is being painted as that bad, then clearly, there must be some greater statement of freedom vs. security. Maybe Millar’s really painting a subversive picture of what happens when you trade liberty for control, right?
Part 4: Why Do You Hate the Good Thing?
After the publication of Civil War #3, Millar would say in an interview he was actually pro-registration. I can’t find that interview, but here’s a similar sentiment shared years later:

“Weirdly, some of the other writers would often make Tony the bad guy, which I thought was a strange choice because I was actually on Tony’s side... In the real world, if somebody had superpowers, I’d like them to be registered in the same way that somebody who has a gun has to carry a license. But a gun can kill several people while a superhero can kill several thousands of people, so on a pragmatic level I’m 100% on Tony’s side. Maybe on a romantic level, Cap’s position makes sense but I don’t think anybody in the real world would really want that."”

And again, here’s the thing: He’s not entirely wrong. As said above, the idea of civil liberties for all and “free to me you and me” falls down a little when one of your neighbors can blow up a city block by thinking real hard. But Millar is fighting against years of ideological inertia in the Marvel Universe, as well as painting Captain America, the guy who has always embodied the ideal of a righteous, just America, as in the wrong. He needs to make one hell of an argument.
So here’s what happens in the pages of Civil War #3 to sell the audience on the SHRA:

• Thor comes back from the dead… and he’s on Tony’s side! Well, not really. Tony and Reed both realized that having one of the most beloved gods of the Marvel Universe come out on their side would be a big win… if only he wasn’t dead. So, they cloned him. Or rather, they T-800’d him, putting cloned divine flesh on a robot skeleton. But I’m sure he’s perfectly under control, and - oh, he just killed Goliath. In the next issue, one of Marvel’s black male heroes, frozen at the size of a small townhouse in death, will be buried in a gigantic ditch, wrapped in a tarp and chains. You’d think Hank Pym could grow a large enough coffin, at least.
• With Cap and the anti-registration side escaping once again, Tony decides he needs a dedicated team that can track down fugitive superhumans. To do so, he creates a new version of the Thunderbolts, a concept long associated with “villains acting like heroes.” And who does he put on this team? Venom, the Spider-Man villain who eats people’s brains; Bullseye, the Daredevil villain who will kill anyone for the lulz; and Norman Osborn, a.k.a. The Green Goblin, who famously murdered Spider-Man’s girlfriend Gwen Stacy.

Again. Tony’s in the right. The SHRA is good.
Part 5: Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
The next few issues of Civil War might best be described as “They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight.” The anti-registration side picks up The Punisher, Marvel’s most avowed murderer of criminals - and Cap is somewhat shocked but not entirely surprised when two minor villains join the anti-registration side and Frank promptly kills them on sight. Spider-Man starts realizing things are weird on the pro-reg side and defects, after he has set his entire life on fire. The X-Men have continued to stay out of this whole mess. In the lead-up, Emma Frost called Tony out on the Avengers’ complete absence when Genosha got nuked. Later, Carol Danvers (then Ms. Marvel, now Captain Marvel) will show up at the Xavier School to pitch the SHRA just after a massive terrorist attack kills dozens of students. Emma responds by telepathically dogwalking her.
By the final issue of the miniseries, the SHRA has expanded out into the Fifty States Initiative, wherein each state gets its own superteam. There’s a big final battle, Hercules kills Robo-Thor, and Cap nearly takes out Tony, only to be stopped by… the heroes of 9/11. No shit, Captain America is subdued by cops, firefighters, and paramedics. And when that happens, Cap finally takes a look around, realizes their big ideological street brawl has resulted in collateral damage, and surrenders. The SHRA wins, though Tony feels a little bad about it. Cap is ready to stand trial and to argue that, while he may have done something wrong, he did it for the right reasons.
Once again: Yeah. About that.
Part 6: MySpace Tom Didn’t Die For This
Running alongside Civil War is Civil War Frontline, a street-level book written by Paul Jenkins that managed to capture this world-breaking conflict through the eyes of people on the street. Though it has side stories, its main leads are Ben Urich, Peter Parker’s journalist buddy at The Daily Bugle, and the aforementioned Sally Floyd. Throughout the series, they start to realize there’s a story underneath the SHRA, as if somebody is playing the angles.
Before we talk about that conclusion, let’s talk about a side story. Remember how we said part of the comics community saw Identity Crisis as a driven effort to make things less “wacky” and intentionally darken the DCU? Well, that same tonal approach led to one of the more laughable moments of a pretty laughable arc. See, despite the fact that, as established, it was Nitro who blew up Stamford, it’s Speedball, the only survivor of the New Warriors, that views himself as responsible and is held up as a scapegoat by the general public. In addition, the blast screwed up his powers. Now, he doesn’t absorb and reflect kinetic energy; rather, he generates energy based on pain. So, he builds himself a new, extreme outfit lined with 612 spikes, one for each person who died in Stamford. This will drive his crusade to make things right - not as Speedball… but as Penance.
It was so laughably DeviantArt “OC do not steal” that no one could take it seriously. Look what you did, you took a perfectly good goofball and gave him an emo streak. The turn is swiftly mocked in other Marvel books, and it’s eventually revealed that Speedball still had his original powerset and always intended to put Nitro in the Goofy Suit of Dark Inner Torment as punishment for his crimes. But this turn gives you a sense of the tone and heft Jenkins was bringing to the proceedings.
Anyway, back to the main plot. Ben and Sally follow the thread as Namor, as he is wont to do, declares war on the surface world after an Atlantean diplomat is shot. But it turns out the assassination was arranged by Norman Osborn, who decided it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission and manipulated Atlantis into war so that Tony could have another piece of evidence for getting superhumans on a leash. And the two journalists deduce that, on some level, Tony had to know this would be an inevitable outcome of giving state backing to an unhinged mogul who dresses like a Power Rangers villain. Weighing what to do with this information, Ben and Sally, who are kind of sick of the collateral damage by this point, sit on it while they go in for an interview with Captain America, now in custody and willing to tell his side of the story.
And then. And then. The monologue. If you want a lesson in how to assassinate a character in 30 seconds or less, this monologue is a great example. Sally Floyd calls Captain America out as completely divorced from American values. Now, again, Captain America has long served as the beating liberal heart of the Marvel Universe. He has always represented an America that reckons with its legacy of things like internment camps, Manifest Destiny, and Jim Crow, in order to transcend these scars and embody the promise offered by Emma Lazarus’s New Colossus, carved on the side of the Statue of Liberty. Why is he out of touch with Americans at the dawn of the 21st century?
Well, he’s never heard of MySpace. [2] He doesn’t watch NASCAR. He doesn’t follow American Idol. There are pop culture moments that have aged like milk; this one had all the permanence of an ice cream cone in a blast furnace. But despite the inanity of Floyd’s argument - and trust me, there are fan edits dedicated to Cap pointing out how full of shit this argument is - it’s clear it represents something else. This is a post-9/11 world. Fuck civil liberties, we have a no-fly list and Gitmo, and if the American people really cared, they’d do something other than watch Simon Cowell read aspiring singers to filth. What does Captain America stand for in this moment of crisis?
Nothing. Because he just looks away from Sally Floyd. No doubt thinking, “Oh my God this bitch.” But to underline the argument in question, Sally storms out of the interview, Ben in tow. She still has that information on Norman Osborn’s false flag operation… and while she and Ben confront Tony on everything that went down, they decide the story should never see the light of day. Because they wouldn’t dare jeopardize the SHRA, because security is more important than the truth.
Oh. And then Cap gets shot. And dies. He totally dies (except he doesn’t but we’ll get to that). If ever there was an unintentional thesis statement for this event, running in the late stages of the Bush era, it would be this: “It’s better to trust that the powers that be who oversee the new America will keep you safe, even when they stage false flag operations, stick you in a gulag, and put their trust in monsters. All that civil liberty stuff was the old America. And the old America was hopeless. It wasn’t even on MySpace.”
Epilogue: Consequences Keep Consequencing
As you can tell from that last paragraph, a lot of the fan reception to Civil War likely had a lot to do with the period. This was the Bush era, a time where you were for America or against it. We were in the shadow of the Patriot Act, Gitmo, and widespread wiretaps, paranoid about what civil liberty we’d be asked to put on the pyre next in the name of Freedom. A story all about the warm, clenching fist of government control that tells you to ignore the collateral damage… well, it wasn’t great for the cultural moment.
The ideas of Civil War aren’t necessarily bad ones. I frame Cap as the liberal dream of what America could be, but there are good arguments to be made that America has never been that and Cap is just copium for liberals. His most recent title, Sentinel of Liberty, opens with Steve saying he is out of touch with the average American - not because he doesn’t watch NASCAR, but because he’s a WWII veteran who looks maybe 30 years old at most and whose best friends are all superheroes or spies. A narrative that has him on the wrong side of the issue and detonates his beliefs isn’t impossible, but it probably shouldn’t be one where people who got powers due to a fluke of birth or a radiation accident are told by the government, “Join with us or we’ll send supervillains after you.” Hell, as the Civil War movie proves, there is a way to tell a story about a superhero community torn in half by the idea of mandatory registration as government-controlled actors, and just why people would think that could be a bad idea (“Hey, remember when a good chunk of our intelligence apparatus turned out to be Nazi stay behinds?”).
But in the context of the era, and coupled with the execution, Civil War felt like a hard sell, and you could feel the thumb pressing on the scale every second while reading it. The moral center of the Marvel Universe is wrong, the winning side employs sadistic murderers and has an extradimensional Gitmo, and the writer is telling you that any sane individual would be on Team Green Goblin Employer.
So how did that all work out? Well…

• With Cap seemingly dead, shot by his brainwashed love interest Sharon Carter as part of a plot by the Red Skull, Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier becomes the new Cap. Only it turns out Steve wasn’t killed, but shot with a time bullet that Billy Pilgrims his ass. He eventually comes back.
• Thor comes back, finds out what Tony did, and beats his ass all the way across post-Katrina New Orleans (thank you to Powman_7 for the link).
• The Secret Invasion event happens next, which leads to Skrull infiltrators hitting everything (this is also the explanation for Captain Mar-Vell’s miraculous resurrection: He was a Skrull all along). With Tony caught with his pants down and Norman Osborn seeming to save the day, Norman - who has been losing his shit for some time - takes over the Initiative and forms his own fascist cabal, HAMMER. To try and stop Norman from learning everything on every hero ever, Tony goes on the run and actually starts deleting his own brain, which he then reassembles with a backup from before anyone even thought of the SHRA. The fact that getting rid of Tony’s “Oops I did a fascism” period came out alongside Iron Man hitting theaters is a coincidence, I’m sure.

As for Spider-Man? It might not shock you, but having a hero without the resources of Tony Stark out himself to the world carries liabilities. An assassin who tries to kill Peter instead hits Aunt May, and it appears she’ll die of her injuries. All this leads to One More Day… and if you thought the fans hated Civil War? Oh, BABY.
[1] This is eventually explored in the pages of Wolverine, of all books, as Wolverine decides maybe somebody should track down the person who actually killed hundreds of children. It’s revealed that Nitro was given power-boosting drugs by the CEO of Damage Control, Marvel’s designated “clean up after the super-battle” corporation, as a way of generating business. In a sign of how little this matters, Wolverine tells Maria Hill to her face that the person responsible for a mass casualty event is the pawn of a powerful conspiracy, and she basically says, “Not my problem.” Cobie Smulders must thank the gods that her Maria Hill is written as somebody with basic human decency.
[2] Hilariously, when Sally Floyd was brought back during Nick Spencer’s Captain America run because no one had piled enough dung on her corpse, this line was retconned to her asking him about Twitter. Given everything Elon’s been doing lately, we’ll see if that ages just as poorly.

It’s the little things of that sort that made life on Earth…life. I swear, if I weren’t keeping my journal of observations, I would completely forget that I was still enrolled in a doctoral program gaining what might potentially be one of the most important degrees in the galaxy.
I’d very much… what the humans say ‘gone native’. Which is the whole point of studying like this, to immerse yourself in a people and learn to appreciate their ways on their terms.
I just never expected when I began that it would be… something more, something so much more, to me or to so many others. But now here I was… and before I go into the days after Michael’s return, I hope you’ll forgive me for a little self indulgence… trust me, it will make the near future far clearer.
By this point, even though I’d only been on Earth for about ten percent of my intended time, by now my degree was going to be a given. I could have returned to University now, with just the work I’d done thus far, presented my findings, and gotten my degree to become ‘Doctor Bailey Walker’ and been done with it… if the rules allowed for that kind of thing.
Because I’d gotten into the various…shenanigans, that I did, because I’d been so heavily involved in so many important events in one way or another from the day of the battle of Waterland Park…as it was so ridiculously and melodramatically called to this day, (much to both my and Fauve’s annoyance), all the way up to the present, I was in a unique position.
I had ties to the highest levels of both governments through two ambassadors, and ties to the leaders of commerce and industry thanks to controlling one of the largest gambling and sporting enterprises on the planet…both of which by dint of my ties to xenomedia expansion in the Barnum Cooperative, meant I was building ties to other planetary governments.
In short… If I didn’t know the right person, I probably lived with one who did. William’s control over my space station project and the display of human engineering was drawing attention from potential allied worlds, while the Methuselah Initiative his wife was a leading researcher for was drawing global attention as the first gentle strides proceeded.
Incidentally… My big sister was on excellent terms with Rebecca Walker and had put her in touch with the D.S.A. the Dlamias Science Academy, where our finest genetic researchers worked… given that Bau was nominally a fugitive, I can only imagine she did this surreptitiously. But once the chain was forged, further cooperation was inevitable.
My people seem to be unable to help ourselves when it comes to humans, if we’re not man’s best friend five years from now, I’ll eat my hat. And if I do not have a hat, first I will buy one, then I will eat it.
All that is to say in long form that, out of all the students on Earth, and out of all the Dlamisa who were now visiting or residing on Earth, out of all the other aliens who were expressing interest in the rising power…I had stumbled my way into being the best known, best positioned, the absolute wealthiest, and the most intimately connected with all the right people.
So… with all that out of the way, let me continue.
Weeks came and weeks went, and I? I enjoyed them. William and Rebecca returned from their work, the Methuselah Initiative continued to progress and the space station continued to expand while the first vessels were built.
Fauve returned from her trip to Japan and we were up late enjoying coffee while the rest of the house slept.
I’d been apart from my human for longer than usual, but we slipped back into our routine without missing a beat.
It was rich, strong stuff that we drank, something she brought with her from her trip. The light was dim and the house was silent save for the little sizzle of coffee dripping down for our inevitable refills. We still had a relatively modest, ‘middle class’ home. Strange for me to say it that way, since I was saying ‘we’. But they were family, now, and it felt right even if legally I owned none of it.
Some have remarked that it was strange that Fauve still hadn’t moved out, when it was not uncommon for humans to leave their homes as they enter adulthood. But the reality is simple, departure is typically undertaken because of stress, a clash between the adult parent and the adult child and the former wanting to continue to rule the latter, while the latter wants to do things their own way.
But that contesting dynamic did not exist between the Walkers. William and Rebecca didn’t press their daughter to let them control anything, they would offer advice, and she did pay a little ‘rent’ to contribute to household expenses. A nominal sum that was more a symbol of independence than anything else. But she otherwise controlled everything about her own life. As they loved and cared for one another and considered their family to be a singular unit, a ‘team’ such as it were, they saw no need to separate themselves.
I like to think she also didn’t want to move since she’d miss me and I was more or less obligated to maintain a single residence for the next fifty years… but that’s just speculation on my part.
Regardless, here she was and so was I, and we could enjoy the comfort of one another’s presence. We simply sipped our first cups, and savored the moment. And for the first half of the cup, we were silent, just enjoying each moment in our amiable existence.
That was our custom, to just enjoy presence for a little while, it was a chance to gather our thoughts and consider what, if anything, there was to say.
Sometimes there wasn’t, we’d just sit in quiet company until our cups were empty, content that nothing need be said and mutual presence was enough.
It’s funny how much humans can say while saying nothing at all. In a very real way, they may be the most competent communicators in the galaxy.
But… tonight would not be a silent night.
When the coffee maker clicked off on the dim light of the kitchen, Fauve chose to speak. “So I got an offer for a diplomatic job.” She said it as if she were mentioning it might rain… this human of mine is the most unflappable person I’ve ever met…I swear.
My tail started to wag and I took a quick sip before saying, “Tell me about it.” She launched into a full story of touring Japan, first, which was to be expected, and I thoroughly enjoyed the recounting before she got to the part I asked about.
“You know how I’ve been handling all these media deals… and… remember how we spent that year on The Red Spark, during the Silent Civil War?” She asked.
I looked down my snout at her. “Tell me that’s rhetorical.”
She cracked a smile, “Well, one of the guys I used to eat lunch with was appointed to the Department of Interplanetary Relations. He was in New Kyoto for a conference on Interplanetary Tech… forget that, it’s boring,” she waved a dismissive hand and went on, “Anyway we were at the same hotel on the day I closed a deal for distributing your league broadcasts…” she paused and tilted her head, “Did you know that the Leonids have a reputation for stubbornness?” She asked.
I nodded. “Worse than ours.” I agreed, and it was no exaggeration. On Dlamias we said that you could convince a mountain to move before you could convince a Leonid to do so.
“They’re not so bad, I just had to keep reframing things until I found what worked, but we got a deal. So I told Marcus about it, and he said he needed someone like me on his team.” She should have smiled, but she didn’t.
“What?” I asked.
“Bailey, listen…”. Fauve’s voice became grave, “Marcus had a few more than he meant to and he let something slip… the Praeda species are a lot more afraid than anyone thinks. If what he told me is true, media relations will be the least of my concerns… a real war is a very clear possibility.”
“Shouldn’t you have led with that?” It was a stupid thing to ask, but still…
She sat up straight, “It wouldn’t be more or less likely, based on where I put it in conversation, and this way you heard good things first. if I waited, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy those properly.”
It was as absurd as it was practical.
“So then the job is…?” I prompted.
“There’s going to be an attempt at diplomacy first. The Rogue World is a long way off, and everybody is going to start gearing up for war, but in that span of time we have a shot at deescalation.” She looked at me for a very long moment.
“I’ll talk to my world’s ambassador. He won’t be happy that word slipped out, even to a reliable resource. Maybe we can create a joint envoy?” It was a tentative thought. More likely it would set the Rapax class species on edge if it looked like we were negotiating a separate peace…
I could see the wheels spinning in her mind when she said… “Maybe suggest we think bigger… anyone left out might feel like a target.”
She wasn’t wrong. “I’ll reach out to him in the morning. In the meantime… one more cup?” I asked.
She handed me hers as I stood, “Yes, please.”