Nail salons near me prices
Can you take a deep breath and forgive yourself?
2011.08.27 08:20 Ingish Can you take a deep breath and forgive yourself?
calmhands is a community based around kicking the habit of kicking compulsive habits such as nail biting and nail picking. The goal of the sub is for you to be able to share resources, photos, and accountability with a lovely community that wants to do the same. Together we got this!
2010.07.03 14:21 J3N1US Protesting at a soldiers funeral service is completely unacceptable!!
For all members of the armed forces around the world.
2013.01.10 06:08 mentalhells Duped: Never buy the same color twice again!
Request and share comparison shots of different nail polishes
2023.06.02 21:12 Ok-Gur8690 girlfriend said “sometimes you have to cheat to find your soul mate” don’t know how to feel?
girlfriend’s last relationship was very emotionally abusive and nearly got physical. she cheated to sabotage it because she was afraid to leave. she was up front and honest about this to me from the beginning, but am i wrong for getting weird vibes from this statement? part of me feels like she was just trying to be sweet but she knows i hate cheaters and with a blanket statement like that, it made me uncomfortable. any thoughts?
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to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:11 throwawayprincabana 24, taking medicine off the table, approaching end of undergrad. Now what?
I am unhappy pursuing medicine due to the financial and time drain it demands but am completely lost on what to pursue now. I am 3 semesters away from completing a biology degree, and still believe I can turn things around this summer, find a career path and fall internship that help me support the life I want.
- Unable to sustain the path to medical school due to low academic performance and financial struggles throughout undergrad.
- Unsustainable to go perform well now to get into medical school. Struggling academically and emotionally throughout undergrad. Lack of time for anything beyond studying and working to support self financially, leading to burnout, depression and poor ADHD symptom management.
- Long-term goal of earning enough financially to own a space to host regular quality time with friends and family, support a creative hobby as value spirituality deeply, and be financially comfortable, i.e cover ADHD counseling, get my teeth fixed, having weekly spending money and savings, be able to invest, afford trips to nature and hiking, etc.
- Dislike non-profit work as it was overall low-paying, did allow me to meet financial aspirations.
- Dislike research/academic work for the same reasons as non-profit work.
- Dislike teaching as, again, overall low-paying, and I struggle to stay awake/focus on work at home with after a long day. I don't think I can keep up with grading.
- Seeking a career that involves spoken communication with others, requires decision-making, uses evidence-based problem-solving work with a team, and has some small aspect allowing for creativity. Pro tips if I get to work with children, work/live near a body water or a forest at some point.
- Dream to work abroad in Sweden for a year before settling down.
- Have experience working in lab research, non-profits, education, pharmacy, and teaching abroad in Spain for ~2 years. Have extracurricular experience in international relations, Spanish/Chinese language and culture, running a club/podcast, and mental health advocacy. I have a psychology minor.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
To clarify: I enjoy the medical environment and working with physicians, the feeling of teamwork, regular problem solving and scientific analysis/thinking/use of research, the use of anatomy/physiology, and the ability to share "love" with others as a professional (what a gift this is exists as a profession for those that can access it? wow). However, I continue struggling academically, mentally, and want to plan ahead to a future I want where I can meet my long-term goals. Going into debt beyond the 30k I have to get a masters to fix my GPA, being depressed from 25 - 32, and waiting until I'm 30 to start having quality time in the relationships I want will not allow me to do that. My family is scattered across the globe, and they are not easily accessible when I need them in person.
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to findapath [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:11 True-Entertainer-981 DJI repair service
What has been your experience with DJI's repair service if you have had to use it? Over the weekend, I was cruising along in my mini 3 pro and hit a small tree branch that dropped it about 10 feet.
I submitted a repair request to DJI on Monday. Shipped the drone on Wednesday. It was received by DJI on Thursday. They did the assessment and sent me a bill for $70 in repairs today. More than fair in my opinion. They had to repair a broken arm and stuck gimbal servo.
So far, I have been very impressed with their communication during the process and their prices do not seem out of line.
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to dji [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:11 mrdfrnt Me 31m wife 28m - Want to get spark back
Hey all - I am the partner of a nightshifter nurse. My wife is rad, love her, and couldn't imagine not being with her. We have some struggles, mainly me, and I am looking for advice. I have tried to read other posts about this as well. I work from home in tech sales, and she is a nurse that works nights 7p-7a. We only generally have 3-4 nights a week together, but the problem is I feel like never any intimacy because she is super tired, and sometimes since we dont have all the time in the world together compared to people on similar schedules, we have to talk non fun stuff like finances / chores etc. I have tried to position scheduling sex, asking what I can do to help, and it just seems like she has a complete disinterest in it, and that can make me at times get frusturated which I hate. We are in our first year of marriage, and have been together for 6 years, and in early 30s without kids, many of our friends are beginning to have kids and we have mutually said we'd like to, but she said isn't interested in trying until 30. I am okay with that. I do wonder how we can ever have kids if we lack intimacy now, this is what I want to improve. She is adamant she will always work nights, I have asked if she would change because I think more mutual time/every evening together would be beneficial, and just at a loss for what to do. Sorry for the ranty thing, but if anyone has advice on what can bring the spark back let me know.
She hasn't changed her name since we got married even though I have expressed that is important to me, but I do understand there are complexities with being a RN. She hasn't changed it on any social profiles, and doesn't like me posting pictures of her without her giving me the okay cause "she doesn't like how she looks in alot of them". I will say she is beautiful, also does alot to up keep her appearance with hair, botox, filler, eyelashes, nails etc and I said I have always found her beautiful before she did this and continue to after, but she does it for herself she says. She also always has time for those appointments and things. Last thing, when we were on vacation, and both sleeping (not sex lol, just sleeping) together every night, spending the days together, we got along great, and even had sex one of the nights during that week. Granted it is vacation, but I feel like we do enjoy each other, but the opposite schedules can really be a stressor and weeks go by, sometimes months, without any intimacy, and i am worried since again we have no kids, are financially doing well, and in our early 30s you'd like it would be different.
I am going to begin seeing a therapist to see how I can be better and make the most of our time, but I just am not sure how to explain other than how I already have that I am struggling to her and need some change. Appreciate y'all and any insight, tips/advice you may have.
TLDR: Different schedules, lack of intimacy are causing struggles for couple.
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to relationships_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:11 bjj_beast [WTS] Jordan 4 Retro “Military Black” 9/10 condition. Size 10. $350
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Looking to sell this pair of Jordan 4 Retro “Military Black in size 10. submitted by bjj_beast to sneakermarket [link] [comments]
Pre-owned. Box is in excellent condition. Very faint signs of heel drag. No star loss. In-soles still have jumpman on them. Minor creasing at toe box area. Minor scuffs on front of sneaker. 9/10 condition.
Last sale on StockX was over $500.
My price $375 shipped to your door. Paypal invoice for payment.
Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks for looking.
2023.06.02 21:11 einteil88 Placed deposit on “in-transit” truck, anyone have an idea what the usual delivery time is?
I’ve recently come on the market for a heavy-duty truck, specifically a 2024 Silverado 2500 LTZ. The dealers in my area (South TX) have listings of mostly “in-transit” trucks, with only one dealership actually having something close to what I’m looking for on the lot. I did visit a dealer that had some trucks listed on their website but was told most of the trucks on their website were already spoken for.
I found a truck that had everything I was looking for at a different dealer about 40 minutes from me so I made a call to speak to a salesman. They were in a meeting at the time so one of them gave me a call after about 30 minutes. I asked if the vehicle in question was available and he let me know it was though it was still in-transit to the dealership. I asked if it was possible to place a deposit on the truck and he let me know he’d have to speak to his manager and give me a call back.
After another 15 minutes or so the salesman calls me back and let’s me know that, yes, I can indeed place a deposit on the truck and if I would like to do it over the phone or come in. I opted to drive to dealership to 1. Meet the salesman and 2. To demonstrate how serious I was about the vehicle. After going over the options on the truck, initialing some paperwork and giving them my card to place the deposit they let me know that the truck was currently in “4300” status so it could be anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks before the truck makes it’s way from the factory. Also that the final OTD price could change from the date I placed the deposit to the vehicle arriving. I placed the deposit on May 15th.
As an aside does anyone know what interest rates people are getting approved for with these vehicles? I’m approved thru my CU at 6.3%/84 months and am debating whether or not to allow the dealer to run my credit again and try to beat it.
Thanks in advance.
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to askcarsales [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:10 WanderlustImaging Quoting advice
So I've just gotten a reply from a perspective client at a major convention which I will be attending.
The client is asked me if I have a rate card that they could review.
I have not yet been paid for this type of work but I'm pretty confident in my skills and ability to capture this kind of subject matter.
Are there any guidelines or advice for pricing this kind of work?
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to AskPhotography [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:10 PlaceApprehensive278 Armaf CDNIMLE doesn’t last on my skin
I’ve tried everything, I’ve damn near bathed in this scent in five minutes late and nobody can smell it on me. Was this cologne a scam?
submitted by PlaceApprehensive278
to fragranceclones [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:10 IceIndividual2704 Today my toddler learned that shadows are a thing
And boy, is she not a fan.
My 15 month old dropped to the floor today, out of nowhere, screaming bloody murder. I comforted her and set her back down but she immediately dropped and screamed again the second her feet hit the floor. Me and my husband are looking at each other at this point like, shit, has she broken her foot or something? We touched her feet and they didn’t seem to be causing her pain, but every time we put her down it was the same, screaming like her little life depended on it.
Then I realised something, it was a lovely warm evening and the sun was low and beaming through the windows, every time I lowered her down, her little black shadow moved towards her until it met her feet on the ground. Cue screaming. So I tested the theory and put her down in an area where the sun wasn’t hitting the floor - she was totally fine, happy as Larry in fact.
I’m all for validating her big feelings but man I had to laugh on this one. The poor girl wouldn’t go anywhere near her shadow. She went to get her water bottle and walked the entire outskirts of the flat to avoid the floor with the sun on it. So here I am now, trying to explain how shadows work to my toddler and slowly learning that I don’t even think I’m qualified enough on the subject to teach it. The curtains are shut, we’re having a cuddle, all is well. Let’s hope this one is just a random freak out that she immediately forgets about by tomorrow morning…
Does anyone else have any random toddler fears to share?
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to toddlers [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:10 Mean_Patience6668 My parents hired a private contractor to fix their patio after it was destroyed by a storm. The contractor is now trying to charge nearly double the agreed price. Does he have a case to get the money he’s asking for?
So backstory first, a storm uprooted a tree right next to my parents patio in their backyard a few months back. The tree destroyed about a quarter of the patio. Insurance agreed to pay 10k for its repair. My parents wanted to add on to the patio as well as get it repaired. When the contractor came to measure and give an estimate, my parents requested he put both the repair for the patio and the add on all into one quote. This quote ended up totaling 12.5k. My dad also requested a quote for fixing something entirely else. This quote was for 12k, but he included a 7k cost to expand the patio. My parents thought they agreed to pay 12.5k for the patio but didn’t want to pay the 12k for the other repair. The contractor is now requesting 19.5k. Do they really have to pay the 19.5k now? Does the contractor have a legal argument they need to pay 19.5k?
submitted by Mean_Patience6668
to legaladvice [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:10 i_bubblegum how long did it take you to do a good gel x set?
okaay so i'm hard of hearing so learning in an abled environment has been a challenge and i'm only learning gel x cause thats what i want to do and i'm going to mostly do the boring stuff ex solid colors or sticker designs ( might take classes later for design) but in the country i am in the 600h classes aren't an option and i'm already taking the longest nail class here (30 days) so i want to know how long did it take you guys to do a good full set (gel x) where u were satisfied with the result i feel like i'm so slow which is really discouraging cause im trying so hard i just recently learned the shapes and how to define them and now the gel and polish application have been a challenge and me being hard of hearing just makes everything worse cause it makes me feel like i am so stupid when i don't get it right the first time my colleagues have been going really well compared to me
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to Nailtechs [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:09 Majictank Opinions on my Over-channel/Overexertion mechanics.
Hey all, long time player, new dm. I have two mechanics that I’m wanting to implement into my games but not to sure if it’s fair play or not. Keep in mind these are supposed to be Hail Mary plays so they’re supposed to be punishing, but I’m not to sure if it’s too punishing or not punishing enough.
Here’s what I have: Overchannel: If you want to cast a spell higher than your caliber or don’t have the spell slots to do so, you can still cast the spell but with a few requirements. You can also use this to cast spells at higher levels. 1. You have to know how to cast the spell. If you don’t you can make an spell check DC equal 12+spell level (if you know the spell exists but have no means of learning it) 2. You take damage equal to 1d10 per spell level. This damage cannot be negated in anyway 3. Reduce your max HP by said damage. You can recover this damage by using up to your con mod hit dice per long rest. You can’t regain hit dice if you choose to do this. 4. If you drop to 0 because of this damage, you take one fail death saving and lose one of your spell slots equal to the spell level cast. 5. If you cast a spell that’s of a level you don’t have, lose your highest spell slots instead until it equals the level of the spell cast. If you can’t pay the price, you lose those spell slots permanently unless you find a cure. 6. If you cast a spell that’s a level you do have, you lose the spell slot. 7. You can recover the spell slots by doing light activity/resting for days equal to the spell level slot you want to recover. (i.e to recover a 3rd level slot, you have to rest for 3 days. etc. etc. )
Over exertion: You can over exert yourself at the risk of damaging yourself. 1. You have two options a. You can take 1d8 damage and add an additional damage dice or add the number rolled to your attack. (Once per round) b. You can take 1d10 damage instead to take an extra attack if you used your attack action. But each subsequent attack costs an additional 1d10. (1st time take 1d10. 2nd take 2d10 and so on. ) 2. This damage cannot be prevented in any way and your max reduces by the same amount. 3. If you choose 1.a you have to be in melee range. 4. You can recover your max by expending hit dice equal to con mod per long rest. You don’t recover hit dice if you choose to do so. 5. If you would drop to 0 because of this damage you take one failed save.
Let me know what you guys think. If I should change anything or if it sounds good. Do feel free to use this in your own games if you guys think it’s a cool mechanic to have.
submitted by Majictank
to DMAcademy [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:09 peculiarSPARROW Question About Baby’s Measurements at 32 Weeks
Hi all! I had an elective ultrasound today (hoping to finally get some nice pictures of baby’s face) and her measurements seem a little funky to me. Specifically, her belly is in the 98th percentile and her head circumference is slightly above the 12th. Her weight is 86.7th percentile and everything else is totally average. I’m not obese and don’t have GD or any other issues. Everything has been weirdly peachy and she’s been measuring big the whole time (no surprise there as I was nearly 9 lbs when I was born and my husband was somewhere around 11 lbs). I’m just curious if anyone has had so much disparity between head and belly measurements like this. Baby seems healthy, but idk, the gap just seems really large there.
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to pregnant [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:09 Advanced-Spring-1866 25F M42
I just can’t get my head around this situation So would love some advice from people in there 40s.
I am not the desperate kinda of girl not to blow my own trumpet but I don’t need to be. But this situation has left my mind boggling. Would love some advice.
So I am 25 F I own a hairdressing salon about 8 months ago a man 42M come in for his hair it was an instant attraction. We flirted etc but nothing come of it for a long time.
Until we ended up kissing so it got a little more steamy we swapped numbers he would text me here and there nothing to serious. But every time he came in for his hair we would kiss and have a grab etc he would get turned on very easily.
I said from the start it couldn’t be anything serious because of the age gap he has children etc.
He never took me on a date but always kinda promised it but nothing ever come of it.
So nothing has actually happened between me and him other than a kiss here and there when he would come in for his hair.
I saw him today for a haircut and he apologised for being quiet over text and I said it’s fine I assumed you was married off or started seeing someone he said no. But asked me if I had I said yes I have been on a few dates I’m not holding my self back because he doesn’t want to put the effort in.
He said the reason was he was worried he would fall in love with me, and it all goes tits up with him being so close to where I work he was worried it could get bitter. But once again he kissed me and got an erection. What is going on here? Am I missing something? I am starting to think he is married.
submitted by Advanced-Spring-1866
to datingoverforty [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:09 Smooth_Board9497 Best time in interview process to ask about part-time options?
I interviewed for a full time engineering consulting job. It went really well and I’m anticipating they’ll be sending me an offer soon. I think Id prefer to work part-time for the first few months though (and am secretly also considering going back to school in the near future). When would be the best time to ask about part-time options (before or after offer?) and what’s the best way to do it? Open to other advice considering I feel kind of guilty going through all this when I’m highly considering grad school. And no, they wouldn’t support my schooling bc it’d be a career shift. TIA!
submitted by Smooth_Board9497
to careeradvice [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:08 LunaticPhase 23M Image does not seem to converge when looking at objects at certain angles
23M, 183 cm, 60 kg, live in Belgium
Hi. First and foremost i'll have to notify that this symptom occured after having a relatively high dose of MDMA at a rave party. This caused me to have some nystagmus (for about 15 minutes), which in turn triggered a small panic attack. After this incident, the night progressed more than smoothly and I had a great time. However, a couple weeks later I noticed that my vision was a little off, things looked generally more blurry than before and the contour of objects also looked a bit off. My vision isn't doubled. I also have a slight "twitch" in my eyes when I try to focus on small things. It feels like my eye for a split second turns to something else and back in place. This seeming eye movement is not observed when someone is looking directly at my eyes, so it's not nystagmus. An other symptom I have is that, when I look at objects at certain angles, the image does not converge properly (mess of double and non-double vision). It seems as if I have a smaller depth of field than I had before. It also seems like i'm more aware of the background become double (physiological double vision; I know this is normal but it seems to happen at shorter distances than before). I also have visual snow (had this before but to a lesser degree) and palinopsia.
I have been to an eye doctor and he said that I only have a slight near- (left eye) and far-sightedness (right eye). He also gave me eye drops to combat dry eyes, but these don't seem to work. I had an appointment with a neurologist who couldn't find any possible explanation. An MRI is scheduled for later this month to rule out anything bad. In general i'm starting to live with these symptoms as they don't bother me as much anymore (at first it gave me anxiety). I'm just curious, is this something benign? I was thinking of some form of convergency issue, strabismus, or binocular vision dysfunction.
EDIT: these symptoms started more than 3 months ago
submitted by LunaticPhase
to AskDocs [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:08 ealmansi What am I doing wrong with Grab? (Bangkok)
Just had 3 drivers in a row accept the ride and then not move at all.
The third one stayed put for a good 10 minutes being just 300 meters away until I asked via in-app chat whether everything was fine; the car immediately stated moving. The driver was frenetically spraying disinfectant when I entered the car, and wouldn't move until I displayed the ride in the app from my phone.
Also, yesterday a driver asked that I send a picture from my pickup point before he started driving towards me, and later said something about "making sure the ride wasn't fake".
Some additional details:
- Ride was from near Chit Lom station to Chinatown, at around 1 AM
- Payment method was set to card
- I have a spanish sounding first name and an arabic sounding last name
- I signed up to the app with an indian number, about a week ago
Is my experience normal due to the ride or due to being farang, or is there maybe something about my profile that puts drivers off?
submitted by ealmansi
to Thailand [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:08 Alycatsvanity Tailor for formal dress
Hello, My brother in law is getting married. I need a reputable tailor to hem a formal dress and make other minor alterations. Please let me know your recommendations. Anywhere in queens is fine and I work near Spring st in Manhattan, so I’m open to that area, too. Thank you!
submitted by Alycatsvanity
to AskNYC [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 21:08 Temporary-Arm-9937 I am dissolving into an existential nightmare of self doubt.
This is such a long post and for that I'm sorry.
This is a throw away account because I don't want anyone that knows me or loves me to feel burdened by everything I'm about to say. Please be kind I am really struggling to keep everything together. I am also socially ostracized, due to my own behavior, but I AM actively trying to do better and it's been a really long journey to get where I am.
I just want to preface everything by saying I full acknowledge all of my shortcomings. I fully acknowledge that I HAVE been a monster. Some of the more gruesome details I will save because rehashing them here is more than I can bear, but everything I'm going to say is with the full and complete knowledge that while trauma can make us monsters it is ONLY my responsibility to repair things and get better. There are no excuses.
When I was a kid I was heavily traumatized. I mean near death illness, medical abuse, CSA, domestic violence, physical and emotional abuse, fat phobia, eating disorders, domestic violence in the home, toxic parent/child relationships, toxic family dynamics, parental substance use, the extreme illness of a parent, other trusted adults outside of the home abusing me.
I had a babysitter that would give me orange juice knowing I had extreme GERD, so extreme I was treated for it as a 6 year old, to make me throw up so she wouldn't have to care for me. She would keep my brothers, but she hated me. Maybe I was a monster even then. I was so abused maybe even at that age I was a dark cloud on those around me.
For full clarity I don't know who or how many people sexually assaulted me as a child, but it was violent, and it was prolonged. Entire years of my life except a few flashes of memories are blank. Gone. Very little exists but a deep, primordial panic when I try to think about them. I was a hypersexualized child. I remember thinking about sex as young as 6 and 7. I remember thinking things were normal that I know now are not. I was so abused. So damaged. And the people that did those things to me were protected. My family protected them. My family let them hurt me. Why? And why did I do those things to others? I was punished. A lot. But no one ever took care of me. I genuinely don't believe anyone ever loved me.
I lied. A lot. As a child. I still lie. But not as much. I don't know why. I never feel safe in this reality. The place where I am both a monster and a victim.
As a kid I tortured my siblings. I hated them. I don't know why. Why was I so angry at them? Why did I hit them? Why did I scream at them? But when my mother's fist came out why did I step in front of it? Why did I scream at her when she hit us? Why did I fight her to keep them safe? Why am I this person? Why did no one see me? Did they not care?
As I got older I tried to run away a lot. I tried. I stopped torturing my siblings. I started sexualizing myself for attention. My mother encouraged it. She picked out the outfit I lost my virginity in. They were her clothes. Why? Why did she do this? I wish I could ask her and get a real answer. But I don't know that the truth would matter. I was encouraged to seek out adults to have sex with. I was encouraged to talk about sex, to wear certain clothes, to be attractive and seen as sexy. I was FORCED to accept jokes grown men made about marrying me because I was a problem. My parents discussed what to do when I inevitably had a child, out of wedlock as a teenager.
I hated sex. It hurt. It was always so violent. It was always an act. It was always something done to me. I never got to participate and enjoy myself. I was a warm body. I was a thing. It was happening to me. And I deserved it. I was a dirty, immoral monster. No one would ever love me unless I let them do those things to me.
I am impossible to love. I won't LET myself be. Not in a way that matters. Except my kid.
As my parents predicted I ended up in a relationship with a horribly abusive monster. We had a kid. It was a disaster.
But my kid is the one thing I have ever done right. When he was born I went to therapy. Terrified I would do to him what had been done to me. That's what they tell you, right? If you're molested as a kid you could grow up to do the same to your child. You will be a monster. My therapist told me what I went through was horrible and what was done to me wasn't my fault. But it still feels that way. Even now. She also told me what I did was also the most common response to that kind of trauma. But how can it be? She told me that most of the CSA survivors she has treated have all been exactly where I am now. I saw her for six months until I didn't want to kill myself anymore, right on the edge of real and meaningful healing and then I never went back. I told myself I could leave it all buried, because I was better now.
But nothing undead can stay buried. I have horrible night terrors. I have since I was a kid. I have trauma flashbacks almost every single day. I am losing grip on everything. I need help, but...
I am incredibly unhappy, bitter and resentful. I am mean. I am angry. I am so very afraid. I have ostracized everyone except a handful of people. I am a PROLIFIC shit talker. It comes from fear. It comes from insecurity and self hatred. And also this external hatred of all the complicity I see in others. WHY DO YOU LET PEOPLE ABUSE EACH OTHER!?! Why are you friends with that rapist? Why do you just stand by while that 35 year old repeatedly traumatizes teenage girls? Why do you watch your friends die? Why do you keep snorting coke when your friend is dying in front of you? Why does no one care about anyone?
I am homeless now. Jobless. I am unable to be a normal human. I am so worn down. So tired. So defeated. My soul, if I even have one, is fragmented, shattered. This exhaustion lives inside me. An insidious little shadow coloring everything I thouch.
Except my kid. The only good thing I have ever done is be a good parent.
I don't think people realize how much help I need. My body is failing because I have been in fight or flight for so long, so full of cortisol that my body and my brain are almost totally seperate. I'm on medications so I don't urinate on myself because my brain stopped recieving signals from my bladder. My doctor asked about my sexual history. Implying abuse. It tracks. Thats a logical relationship of cause and effect. Affect? I can't bring myself to be totally honest with my doctors. I am so afraid.
I know this is all so incoherent. But I know I can't be alone? Maybe this post sits mostly unread. Maybe read and think I'm an irredeemable piece of shit and I am blasted all over the internet.
I try not to feel like a victim. I have been putting so much effort into getting better. I need a year to disappear. But my kid.
The one good thing I have ever done has no one else.
Not that it matters, but I have always been 100% sober, and in and out of therapy based on when I can afford it and get the time off work when I'm able to work.
My last therapist suggested taking time off to heal, but I have no one to lean on that deeply. The few times I thought I did I ended up facing the consequences of that help in a way that left me worse off.
How do people do this? How do people with this much trauma keep going? Do people love you? Do you feel loved? Are you okay? Do you ever just feel like a person and not a puddle of trauma? I am in my mid 30s now. And I still feel like that scared little kid almost every day. How do I tell them I'm sorry? How do I stop feeling like a bad person? Is this a road I have to walk alone, forever?
I'm sorry for all the jarbled nonsense. This reads more like a manifesto than a reddit post, but par for the course I suppose.
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2023.06.02 21:08 AccomplishedKale795 Ben Gross : The Cat Dad
Ben had never thought that he would ever be a cat dad, not since he saw his own father run over his cat when he was only five. But yesterday, history almost repeated itself when he almost ran over two stray kittens while driving himself home from the graduation ceremony.
It had happened only a few hours ago - despite the fact that in an attempt to impress his dad, who was in the passenger seat, he had tried to be extra precise while backing out of his parking spot, he missed a little something in his way.
However, before the disaster could happen, a shrill scream made him slam the brakes.
"STOP! You'll run over them, STOP!"
He jumped out the car and ran to the back, to find Shira looking slightly wary of a cardboard box near one of his back wheels. Inside the box were two kittens.
"BEN!" she shrieked on seeing him, her arms flailing in an almost comical way, "You almost killed them!"
Ben picked up the box, and noticed that there was a small slip of paper inside it.
"You should be more mindful of how you treat animals, Ben! We're supposed to share the planet with them, not-"
"Here, hold it for a moment" he interrupted, holding out the box for her to take.
She did not comply. Instead, she scooted away with a scared look on her face.
It took every last ounce of resilience inside Ben to not roll his eyes. Here she was, lecturing him about being 'mindful' with animals, when she was too disgusted to hold a box with two tiny, malnourished sleeping kittens.
Balancing the box in one hand, he pulled out the slip of paper and opened it.
"Take care of them, please" it read.
Take care of them. Hm. Someone left them here to be found.
After a moment of pondering, he made his decision.
"I'll take them to a shelter." he told Shira, opening the car door to put the two kittens inside.
"Wait!" Shira exclaimed, pulling out her phone and positioning herself as if to take a selfie.
"Shira, I'm really not in the mood to-" Ben began protesting, but the sound her phone made told him she had refused to listen to him. She skipped away, typing what he was sure was a story about how she saved two innocent kittens.
Her followers will like that, for sure.
Still, I'm rescuing two kittens from certain death. That's a good deed.
His good deed, however, remained unfinished, because the shelter did not have any space for cats and could not take in the two kittens. Ben was forced to take the kittens home, with the reassurance that his dad would find a place for them somewhere else.
And now here he was, having cleaned and fed them with Patty, trying to figure out what variety they were while shovelling spahgetti into his mouth.
"Oh, Ben! My sweet boy has graduated!" a saccharine voice suddenly spoke.
Vivian Gross, unlike his dad, had chosen to be absent from his graduation ceremony, where he and Devi had jointly recieved the title of valedictorian. His dad had hugged him tightly and exclaimed how proud he was of his son with tears in his eyes. Ben knew he would remember that moment and smile till the day he died, he would be forever grateful for it, but it didn't quite erase the truth - he had expected his mother to show up. This was not a PTA meeting, not a debate tournament, not a club presentation - he has graduated high school. This was important. Today, for one day, he was important.
Apparently not important enough for his mother to abandon her regenerative healing spa appointment.
He did not want to admit it, but a sinking weight had appeared in his chest when his dad had informed him that his mom wasn't coming at all, and it had only dulled slightly since then. On hearing her voice, the weight re-appeared with full force. She pulled out a chair and sat beside him at the dinner table.
"No phone! Be respectful when your mother wants to talk to you, alright?"
Ben immediately put his phone down.
"So, have you thought about college, honey? Where would you like to go?"
Ben tried his best to not let the sheer disbelief show on his face. After all, 3he should have seen this coming.
"Uh, yeah, I - I applied to Columbia. The acceptance letter arrived two months ago. I got in. I'm pretty sure I told both you and dad?"
"You did? Oh, I must have forgotten! Typical me, forgetting things all the time."
It isn't normal to forget what ivy league your son got int- no, no Ben, don't be ungrateful. Don't say anything.
Well, I'm not being ungrateful here. She should've known this.
Before Ben could decide whether or not to convey his true feelings on the matter, Vivian cut the conversation short by pulling her phone out of her purse and beginning to scroll through it. Whether she ignored or didn't hear his scoff, he did not know.
After some time, she spoke up again.
"Oh, you and your girlfriend rescued kittens today? That's so nice!"
"Shira! She's your girlfriend, isn't she? I'm one of her followers! Very sweet girl, understands the importance of self-care very well."
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out for a bit.
"Mum" he began, drawing a deep breath and trying to control the quiver in his voice "Shira and I broke up two years ago, in sophomore year."
You'd know that if you knew anything.
"Huh? Oh! So you haven't had a girlfriend since?"
"No." he mumbled back, realising it wasn't worth it to explain anything to her. If his mom didn't care enough to know everything that had happened in his life in two years, then he didn't care enough to tell her either.
Ben had always thought the fault was in him. After all, he was richer than most kids in his class, he knew that - he had everything. And yet he felt unhappy. He felt unhappy despite having everything, hence he must be ungrateful.
But he had come to understand he was anything but ungrateful. His dad was the one who was always busy, but he had tried - he had become a better parent. He had been there for Ben. He had showed up.
His mother had chosen not to, and it certainly wasn't his fault. Mothers didn't behave like that - he had met Nalini Vishwakumar. He had to fight the urge to yell some sense into Devi every time she said she hated her mom.
She's ungrateful. I'm not.
This realisation had made him colder towards his mother. He realised it, but was even more hurt by the fact that she didn't notice this at all.
"Well, what did you end up doing with the kittens anyways?"
"The shelter didn't have space for them, so I brought them home. They're in my bedroom. I'll keep them until Dad finds a spot for them." he said.
The silence that followed made him look up from his plate, to find his mother staring back at him with disgust.
"You let stray animals into my house?"
"Stray - what? But you just said it was a nice thing to rescue them!"
"It is! For somebody else! If you wanted a cat we could get you whichever you liked from a breeder!"
"I don't want them! They had been left in the parking lot! They would've died there!"
"They could be diseased, you know."
"They're not. I had them checked and vaccinated at the shelter. There's a veterinary clinic right beside it."
"Still, Ben, get rid of them right away. There will be no random abandoned strays in my house."
Bold words, calling it your house, when you're never in it yourself.
She left the dining room in a huff, mumbling exasperatedly to herself.
Left alone, Ben made a decision. Sure, it was driven by hurt and anger, but he would do it anyways. She hadn't come to his graduation, had she? She hadn't listened to him. Why should he listen to her?
For the first time in his life, Ben Gross was going to disobey his parents. He was going to keep those damn cats.
Ben woke up the next morning to the sounds of two kittens rolling around and yawning in a box, and realised he was a bit conflicted - taking care of a whole live animal was no joke, especially since he couldn't ask for help from Patty and his dad.
Hiding them from mom isn't really a problem.
The thought of his mother brought back some of the rage he had felt the night before.
He was keeping those kittens, for sure, but for now, he didn't know where to start.
After an hour of research, Ben had a list and a day full of errands to run.
Why are there so many litter box varieties in this world?
Ben had never known such confusion in his entire life. He was the class valedictorian, had won multiple awards and first place prizes, had gotten into a freaking ivy league, and yet had never faced something so difficult.
In front of him were five tub-like containers - each of a different colour, shape and size. One of them had a transparent lid, another one had a coloured lid, one of them had all these little knobs and buttons on the side, another one had a tag that said 'CAUTION : Be careful of electric wires'
He had angrily told the salesman to leave him alone after the idiot had attempted to sell him seeds for a parakeet, and now he had no one to ask for help.
Or maybe not.
He whipped out his phone and dialled a number.
Ben was regretting his choice.
Paxton had been standing beside him for the past five minutes, brow furrowed and completely silent.
Ben had suddenly realised that he did, indeed, have friends, friends he could ask for help. Only, his friend seemed even more lost and confused than he was.
"I- Wait, does that one say be careful of wires? I thought litter boxes didn't need electricity!"
"So did I! That's why I called you for help!"
"Me? What would I know about this? I've never had a pet!"
"But then why did you agree to help me?"
"Dude, I thought the box was too heavy for you to carry!"
"What's too heavy to carry?"
Trent had showed up out of nowhere, but Ben was somewhat used to him appearing out of thin air.
"Nothing. We can't figure out what to do here, which one of these litter boxes should I buy?
Trent looked at him with confusion. "Bro, you know these are for, like, cats, right? You can't use them."
Ben closed his eyes while Paxton held in a laugh.
"Yes, Trent, I know. I have two kittens at home. This is for them."
"Oh!" Trent said, rolling up his sleeves "Well, none of this fancy shit. What you need is a smart, durable, and simple solution" Spinning around, he called out - "Yo, does anyone here know where the Paw-fect range is?"
A girl in an apron appeared in the aisle, gesturing at them to follow her. She lead them to a different part of the store - a section that seemed entirely dedicated to the company Paw-fect.
An hour later, they were walking out to Ben's car with three large shopping bags.
"Dude, how do you know all this stuff? I mean, you basically told us what varieties of cats there are based on hair length. Where did you find that out?" Paxton asked Trent, not being able to place when precisely Trent had become an expert on cats.
"I spend a lot of time watching commercials on youtube, bro. I know exactly how to look after bunnies and dogs too."
Ben smiled to himself, getting inside the car. He rolled down the window and bid his friends goodbye before driving off towards home.
A month had passed since that fateful day when he discovered his two beloved pets in that parking lot. Now, a month into the summer, he felt he had become somewhat of an expert cat dad. Well, enough of an expert to be worthy of a 'Best Cat Dad in the World' mug, the purchase and use of which had earned him some inquisitve glances from his father, but no questions.
He had hidden the kittens away inside his room, making sure to keep it locked at all times.
So far he was managing spectacularly. He had told Patty that he would clean his own room from now on, in preparation for college, and she had not discovered the kittens yet. To his dad he had said that the same shelter they had visited on graduation day had found an empty spot and accepted them.
He had developed a routine - everyday when Patty went out for grocery shopping, he would empty the litter boxes, fill up water and cat feed in the dispensers and brush their fur. He had installed a lock on his door, and made sure to leave it locked whenever he went out.
So far, so good. Nobody knew - not his dad, not Patty, and definitely not his mom, who had only been in the house for two days in the entire span.
The doorbell rang, telling him that Paxton and Trent had arrived to meet the cats.
"Oh, welcome! Ben is upstairs!" he heard Patty tell them.
Footsteps got louder and louder till Trent finally burst through his door.
"Where are they? Where are my nieces?"
"Trent, dude, not so loud man!" Ben warned, but he couldn't stop the smile from coming onto his face.
When he had found them, the two kittens had been on the verge of death. Thin and sickly, with dull fur, they barely had any energy at all, and would stay lying around and yawning all day long. Now, Ben had nursed them back to health, and they were happily climbing up their scratching post.
The only complaint he had was how aloof they stayed all the time. They made absolutely no efforts to return his affection and made no effort to get close to him, and bolted any time he tried to pet them.
He would call them ungrateful, but they weren't humans after all. Perhaps this was just how cats behaved.
"So, what are their names?"
Ben looked at Paxton for a moment before realising - he hadn't named them yet.
"You haven't thought of names yet, have you?"
They both sat down on his bed and began gazing at the cats carefully.
This went on for some time. Just before Ben was about to interrupt, Trent finally spoke up.
"The white one is Taylor and the ginger one is Sadie."
On recieving confused looks, he explained further "She reminds me of Taylor Swift and she reminds me of Sadie Sink. Name your kids after great people and they shall become great themselves."
Before Ben could say anything in reply, the cats noticed that they had visitors in the room and bounded towards Trent. Jumping onto him, they began licking his face.
"Hey! They like the names!"
"Well," Ben said, smiling "Taylor and Sadie it is."
The very next morning they had little silver collars with Taylor and Sadie engraved on them, hanging around their necks.
Ben stood as if ready to tackle, glaring at the white kitten. Taylor glared back - no one would make her take a bath if she did not want to take a bath.
A moment more of glaring, and Ben jumped onto her. Taylor let out a yowl and shot off towards the bed.
"Come back here, you little rascal! Don't get my bed all muddy!"
But Taylor refused to listen. Jumping on the bed, she left her muddy footprints all over the white sheets.
Ben had accidently left the window cracked open the previous day, and the more mischiveous one of his cats had taken the opportunity to escape out into the rain-filled muddy backyard. Ben had been trying to get her to take a bath in his tub ever since, but getting a cat near water was proving to be more difficult than imagined.
"You were fine with soaking around in the rain yesterday - what's the problem with my tub? It's still water!" he exclaimed as she attempted to run away from between his legs.
She was not succesful, however, for in that second Ben bent over and caught her.
She growled again as he held up her little kicking and squirming frame in victory.
That very moment, the door opened, revealing Patty on the other side.
Ben gulped - he had forgotten to lock the door.
"I can explain-" he began, but he was cut short.
"Oh little prince, did you really think you could keep a cat in this house for two whole months without telling me? Who do you think kept them clean this whole time? Come one, hand them over, I will give them both a bath."
Shocked, Ben handed Taylor over to her.
"Does-does Dad know?"
"Of course! He really liked your 'Best Cat Dad Ever' mug."
As Patty took the kittens away, Ben smiled to himself. So his dad did know him well enough to know his secrets after all.
The news had put a damper in an otherwise splendid morning.
Ben had grown out of wanting his mother to return home. Now, he didn't feel anything but frustration when she was around, didn't wish for anything but for her to leave. It was better when she was away.
But that morning Patty had told him that she would be returning home for a whole week.
Way to ruin a boy's day.
He was shuffling about his room, reluctantly trying to find his jacket so he could go out and buy something nice for his mother.
Ever since the reveal that both Patty and his father were well aware of his pets, Ben had let them run free in the house. The very first day the two had run across the hall while he was they were eating breakfast, and his father had simply smiled in response.
Now he headed downstairs, calling out to them, but neither of them appeared.
Shrugging it off, he left for the grocery store. A box of chocolates would do nicely, he thought.
Ben returned home to chaos.
His mother was apprently screaming at someone in the living room.
As he got closer, he could make out the words more clearly.
"How could you let those...those creatures stay in our house Howard? He picked them off the street!"
Of course, the very first thing she did after returning home was berating his pets. Anger bubbled up inside him, but he pushed it back down and entered the room smiling. His father was sitting on the couch, massaging his temples, while Vivian stood in front of him.
"Mom, you're back! I got you chocolates." he said, trying his best to fake happiness, holding out the box.
His mom didn't take it, and instead crossed her arms and glared at him.
"Ben, I told you to get rid of those cats."
"But you didn't listen to me! They were in my house! I went to the fridge to get myself water and I found them rolling around on the kitchen floor!"
Ben paused for a moment.
"I wanted to keep them."
"I don't care! I told you to get rid of them! You have to listen to me, I AM YOUR MOTHER!"
Well, it's not like you ever behave like a mother.
"What did you just say?"
Did I say that out loud?
"What did you just say, you ungrateful brat?"
That was what did it. Something inside Ben's chest shattered into pieces. His eyes filled up with tears as he stared straight at his mother, having waited far too long to say what he needed to be said.
"I SAID, you never behave like a mother! You didn't show up to your only son's graduation ceremony, you didn't know that I got admitted into a ivy league, hell , you didn't even know who my girlfriend was! THAT IS NOT HOW MOTHERS BEHAVE! If only you actually had time left for me after all your retreats and spas and treatments, maybe you would realise you know nothing about me!"
Ben did not wait to find out her reaction. He did not turn around to face his dad who was calling his name. He did not look at Patty. He simply bolted up the stairs to his own room.
Locking the door, he jumped onto his bed with shoes still on, and buried himself under the covers. Trying his best to not let the tears fall, he tried to call his cats.
"Taylor? Sadie? Are you there? Taylor?"
Not one peep. They weren't here either.
For the first time in a long time, Ben felt absolutely alone. He had his dad, he had his friends, but he had never had a mom. She was right there, down the stairs, the woman who had given birth to him, but he had never had a mom. And for whatever reason, that was enough to make him feel the way he did.
He lay quietly for some time, not letting a single tear or a single sound escape. He refused to cry.
Suddenly, he felt something weighing down the bed beside him.
Taylor and Sadie both made their way underneath the blanket, finally lying down right beside Ben.
He turned to his side and tried to pat Taylor's fur. He gently touched her with his hand, afraid that she would run away any moment.
But she didn't. Instead, she let out a content purr and curled up into an even smaller ball of fur.
They were here. They were here with him.
He could not hold back the tears any more. But even through the sobs, he began to smile.
"Take good care of them Patty!" Ben called to his housekeeper as he hugged both of his cats one last time.
"I'll be back for Thanksgiving and Christmas, alright?"
He finally got up to leave when Patty began hounding him about being late to the airport.
He got into the passenger seat beside his dad.
His mom hadn't spoken to him since his outburst that day. He had tried to get a hold of her, but had always come out empty handed.
Still, having let all of it out had left him feeling lighter than ever. This time, he noticed, he didn't really care about his mother's absence.
"I left all the instructions for food and water on a checklist on my desk. Vet visits every month, and -"
"Ben, relax, we got this. You're going to college, be excited."
Ben smiled and looked out the window one last time as the car started, at the two little fur balls that he had come across by accident, who had ended up claiming rather large pieces of his heart.
What's more, they had ended up healing large parts of it as well.
"Yeah, I'm so excited." he said, looking at the road ahead.
Author's Note : I am so sorry for being SO LATE, but I have an excuse - I kept deleting and re-writing over and over again because this is the first time I'm showing something I've written to someone else. I'll be doing the other two prompts over the next two days as well.
Well, this ended up being sappier than I had thought earlier! Anyways, I always appreciate constructive criticism, but please be kind.
Thank you for reading!
submitted by AccomplishedKale795
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2023.06.02 21:07 acf530 Can I open an individual 401k?
Let me preface all this by saying that I have meetings with both my long term CPA and a professional financial adviser recommended by a fairly high net worth friend in the coming weeks, so just trying to get as much foundational info so I'm not starting from zero when those meetings happen. That being said:
I'm 51, single, no kids, been self employed in one form or another since I was ~25. I've had a SEP account for a long time, but that maxes out at $7500/year and I'm looking to get as much pre tax money as possible invested over the next decade- better late than never, right? Anyway, here's the deal- I don't really have an official salary from anywhere so I'm not sure how it works, if an individual 401k is an option? One company I own 100% of just doesn't make much money these days. It was my main source of income for about 15 years at/near $150k/year, but for a variety of reasons it's more like $15-25k these days- it could go up a bit again, but almost certainly never to the levels it was. Another business I am a silent partner in that I own about 17% of also does not pay me a salary, only a tax burden distribution each year that usually ranges from $50k-100k. So the profit from that company is on my tax return and taxed, but I don't get any actual money/salary/profit sharing at this point. Hopefully we can sell that biz for $25M+ in the next few years and this will all be semi-moot, but counting on that happening is definitely not a good retirement plan. That biz has an employee 401k, but I don't think I qualify for that, although I am looking into it. I recently sold a home I owned outright and have about $500k in cash (currently in a 4.8% HYSA and a few 5%+ cds of varying lengths) but I'd like to find at least some of it a longer term home. Although (and this may very well show my lack of knowledge of all this) that $500k isn't taxable income (I basically broke even on the house and was happy to do so all things considered) so investing some of it in the market, whether it be a 401k or just regular brokerage account, is there really a difference at this point? I mean, the write off if it goes into a 401k is great, but I don't have a ton if income right now anyway. OK, that's probably more than enough, thanks for any insight!
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2023.06.02 21:07 SuckerForRetroStuff Anyone knows what those coordinates in the end of the album's booklet take you to?
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So, I believe that everyone here has already listened to this amazing album, but I haven't seen anyone talk about the coordinates in the end of the album. I already entered the coordinates into google and it threw me into Dundee, near a casino, but I was wondering if anyone living close went there and found something? I just find it interesting that they would put cooridnates in the end of the booklet. (here's a picture of the coordinates) submitted by SuckerForRetroStuff to Gloryhammer [link] [comments]