Location: Brooklyn, NY
Salary: Up to $85,000 (Depending on Experience)
Benefits: Excellent Comprehensive Benefits Package
OTI is seeking a Software Asset Management Associate to join their team. This role involves developing and improving IT asset management processes, ensuring adherence to policies and procedures, tracking asset life cycles, analyzing inventory and data quality, and assisting with audits. The ideal candidate should have experience with IT asset management tools and processes, knowledge of operational support best practices, proficiency in Microsoft Office, strong change management and communication skills, and the ability to prioritize tasks effectively. A bachelor's degree in a related field and relevant experience are required. To apply, visit www.nyc.gov/jobs/search and search for Job ID #585207.

Recently we’ve had a few days of train strikes. It seems the ASLEF trade union is surprisingly successful at holding us to ransom and the train operators companies are doing nothing to combat them. However, I’ve had a friend recently apply for a Train Driver job and from their research and experience, there’s definitely no shortage of applicants for the job. 1000s are applying for several positions, so many applied that my friend didn’t even get an interview before getting rejected. Even those who are successful can end up in a “talent pool” waiting list for many years (basically told you’re successful then left in limbo without a start date indefinitely) I get how the balance of power is in trade unions favour if there’s a genuine shortage of highly skilled workers that can’t be replaced. But when there’s no qualifications needed to be a train driver and they can easily be replaced, why are they getting away with strikes and demanding such high salaries? What’s stopping train operating companies from replacing militant staff? I would happily be a train driver for half the salary that some are on.

Hi guys!
Appreciate your advice =)
I'm a private banker assistant and I've been supporting my boss (B) for 3.5 years.
I got a call from my line manager (M) yesterday informing me that B is not doing well this year and management wants to help B cut cost. M proposed to share my headcount 50-50 permanently with a banker from another team.
M explained that my work load should be low because B's business is not good. Actually I am well occupied, B is needy and dependent on day to day business operations. Also, B makes sure I am not doing nothing by asking me to handle personal/family matters which can be nitty gritty stuff that is time consuming.
B is aware of M's proposal since last week but did not give me heads up at all. I am pretty upset about this!
About the other team, there has been a huge turnover over the past few months. More than half of the team (bankers and assistants) left and M needs to source for an assistant urgently to support one of the bankers that is staying on in the team. Management definitely will be hiring more bankers, and I am actually feeling OK to take the risk and join this team 100% and have a fresh start if I am able to
If I have to agree to this cost-sharing arrangement, I will reporting to 2 bankers from totally different team, taking extra work load with the same salary. My backup arrangement will be more complicated too.
Knowing B, and because of the familiarity, I foresee the same working style and expectations of me will not change, and I still cannot risk offending him because I am still paid and appraised by B. If I set boundaries because of this shared arrangement, B may make things difficult for me. Our work relationship at present is cordial on the surface.
What should I do?!
1) Speak with M and request for lateral transfer to another team (which may be rejected because then my boss will not have an assistant, and my manager will have to find someone else for him, I will need strong reasons to justify that. If so, it brings me to the next point)
2) Should I tell my manager that I am also handling personal/family matters for my boss outside of jobscope? (I will definitely not be comfortable doing these things anymore if I have to be on shared arrangement)
3) Accept this shared arrangement and take on this 50-50 extra workload
4) Accept this shared arrangement but negotiate a higher salary
5) Any other suggestions for me? =)

Job Title	Company	Salary	Full Remote in...
Customer Care Agent	efood	-	Greece
Senior Graphic Designer	Selzy	-	Cyprus
Director of Franchise Operations	Grand Welcome	-	USA
Manager, Analytics	Just Global	-	USA
DevOps engineer	Herolabs	-	Poland
Talent Acquisition Partner	Elementor	-	Israel
Animator & GFX Artist	Filmless	-	USA
New Business Executive	Aerolab	-	Argentina

Switching to Syncro from Connectwise simplified DLL Techs' operations, saving time and a full-time employee salary.
“With Syncro, I can do PSA, RMM, billing within one dashboard. It really is quite beautiful. You don’t have to dig around for the information. It just makes sense," said founder Mirna De Lira Lopez.
Interested in achieving similar results for your MSP? Read the full story.

This is part of my little series about the adventures of Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick. If you'd like to read previous parts, they're linked below, along with brief summaries of each:
Part One: Alien learns what "sleep" is and how humans prefer to do it in a comfy bed with blankets and pillows. And they find it utterly adorable.
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick are sent on a survey mission together. Things go south, Aldrick makes sure they're safe, and then Vr'ocria learns what human sleep is and how vulnerable humans are when they sleep. Vr'ocria's people don't sleep, but enter stasis, a form of rest in which they typically stand, and they are still slightly aware of their surroundings. Vr'ocria finds human sleep utterly adorable, and also decides she will protect Aldrick while he sleeps. And she also develops a massive crush on him. (Her scales turning purple is her version of blushing)
Part Two: An alien + human adventure with such shenanigans as poison drinking, befriending dangerous wildlife, and fighting a space pirate. Oh, and they have a huge crush on each other.
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick end up assigned together for another survey mission. Vr'ocria tries to deny her feelings for Aldrick after a tense conversation with her nestmate about the danger of humans, but when they're ambushed in the night by a pirate and Aldrick takes a blow to save her, becoming injured in the process, she comes to realize just how strongly she feels for him. She kills the pirate, carries Aldrick to safety, and the two share a tender moment.
Part Three: When a cold-blooded alien has to cuddle a warm-blooded human for warmth
Vr'ocria and Human Aldrick are assigned to an ice plant for their next mission. Aldrick chews out Command for assigning Vr'ocria there when they know she's cold-blooded and not built for the cold, and when the power goes out, they cuddle to keep her from freezing. They finally confess their feelings for one another, and Vr'ocria learns what kissing is.
Part Four: A human leaves a hickey on his alien lover. Her nestmate doesn't understand what a hickey is, and thinks the human injured her
Vr'ocria enjoys neck kisses, and asks Aldrick to indulge her. Later, she has a video call with her nestmate Galek. Galek is already wary of humans, and when he sees a bruise on her throat that she didn't notice, he figures out Aldrick is responsible and freaks out, thinking Aldrick intentionally hurt her. Vr'ocria dresses Galek down, explaining that it's not an injury, and also that he needs to get over it and respect her relationship with Aldrick.
Now for the new story!
TW: There will be blood and broken bones.
—
"I have a bad feeling about this."
Vr'ocria turned to Human Aldrick in the pilot seat next to her. He was drumming his fingers on the console, brow furrowed, as he watched the Xenthum solar system approach.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"I dunno. I just–" he bit the inside of his cheek. "You ever just get an ick feeling about something?"
Vr'ocria frowned. "No. Can you explain it?"
He scratched the back of his neck. "It's hard to explain. Like, there's nothing wrong that I can tell about this mission, but ever since we got within visual range, I've had this gut feeling that we need to turn back."
Vr'ocria wasn't sure she understood, but she didn't like seeing him uncomfortable. "Well, we're here on orders–"
"I know, I know, I don't want to get us in trouble, I'm already on thin ice after yelling at Lieutenant Prax–"
"–but the minute anything starts to go wrong, no matter how small, we can turn around."
He glanced over at her. "Thanks," he said with a grateful smile.
They had entered the Xenthum system now. Its main planet was sparsely populated, used mostly as a trading outpost since it was so close to the Dridian border. The trick was navigating through the minefield of asteroid clusters. Aldrick let Vr'ocria take the lead piloting, since of the two of them, she was more skilled at delicate maneuvers.
They were almost to the planet when an alert pinged. Aldrick sat up to check the sensors.
"There's a ship nearby," he reported. "A big one."
"Where?" Vr'ocria pulled up the sensor on her screen. "I don't see anything. Just asteroids."
"Turn on the warp detector and increase the ion frequency."
Vr'ocria pressed a few controls. "Oh wow, you weren't kidding." She frowned. "It's way too big to be in the middle of an asteroid field. What are they doing?"
"I don't know, but I don't like it." She could feel the tension radiating from him.
"You want to get out of here?" she asked.
He chewed his lip. "Y'know what? Yeah. Let's at least take an alternate root, we can–"
But before he could finish, there was a loud BANG and they were sent flying from their seats as the shuttle rattled.
"What the fuck?" Aldrick yelled as he scrambled to his feet, lunging for the console. "Did we scrape an asteroid?"
Vr'ocria crawled back into her seat as well and banged out a few commands on her screen. Her blood froze.
"No," she said in a low voice. "It was phaser fire."
They'd been so focused on the massive ship that they'd missed the tiny shuttle creeping up from below them.
BANG. The screens flickered and glitched.
Aldrick cursed. "We've lost shields!"
There was another hit, then another, and another. Sparks were flying now, and the sensors were screaming as the shuttle's operating systems started failing.
Vr'ocria was tossed against the wall in one particularly brutal crash, and the last thing she saw was a broken panel flying right towards her face.
—
Everything hurt.
Especially her nose. The tang of blood clung to the back of her throat.
There were muffled voices somewhere nearby, and the sound of metal scraping. When she tried to move, she abruptly registered something cold and hard encircling her wrists.
"She's waking up."
Vr'ocria coughed, blood splattering from her lips. Moaning in pain, she managed to lift her head and crack her eyes open.
The scraping sound was the heels of her boots sliding across metal grate flooring as she was dragged by her wrists. She craned her head back, pain shooting through her neck, and realized that her wrists were clapped in rusty manacles. A massive blue hand fisted the rust red chains that suspended her arms over her head.
"Wha' th'fmm–" she slurred. Her brain felt like sludge.
Suddenly she was yanked even higher into the air, her toes just brushing the floor. A shock of cold assaulted her and she yelped, flinching as water dripped down her face.
"You awake now?"
A man was standing in front of her, tossing aside a now-empty bucket. There were several people, actually. All different species, all looking very pleased, and all wearing distinctive black Norvidian armbands.
Pirates.
A hand cracked across her cheek, sending more blood flying. She bit back a cry as the shockwave laced through her broken nose. "Fuck you," she spat instead.
The man chuckled. He was tall, muscles bulging through his coat, and his skin was blue. He must've been the one dragging her. "Picking up human words, I see."
Vr'ocria's blood turned to ice. "What have you done with him?" She demanded in a low voice.
His grin only widened. His teeth were crooked and rotting. "I'll be asking the questions here."
Her scales burned a bright and hot yellow and snapped as they turned on end. But before she could respond, his hand lashed out and grabbed her throat–not enough to choke her just yet, but enough to make her freeze.
"You're the lizard bitch from Theta-7, yes?" The grin was gone now, replaced by a withering glare.
Understanding dawned on Vr'ocria. Blast. Oh, blast.
He saw the realization in her eyes and slowly released her throat. "You are."
"What's it to you?" She snapped.
He sneered. "You killed one of my men."
"He attacked us first!"
Stars burst behind her eyes as the air was forced from her lungs, and it took her a moment to realize that he had punched her in the gut. All she could do was cough and gasp, trying to regain her bearings through the pain as he turned away from her and towards the others standing around. He raised his arms.
"We are Norvids!" He boomed, and the others whooped in agreement. "We stand together! We protect our own!"
Vr'ocria tuned him out as he kept proselytizing, using the opportunity to look around the room. It was massive and almost all metal with towering walls. Crane chains hung from the ceiling, and crates and barrels of different sizes were scattered about, everything dusty, rusty, and old. A storage room. An old cargo ship? She wondered. That would explain why it was so big.
She ran a quick headcount of everyone she could see. Seventeen.
But where was Aldrick?
Vr'ocria felt sick. You better be okay…you have to…please be okay…
The man–the captain, she guessed–finally turned back to her. He drew a dagger from a sheath strapped to his arm, and her eyes went wide.
"A life for a life," he growled, stalking towards her.
But before he'd made it even two steps, a voice rang out through the cargo bay.
"Don't you fucking touch her."
It was enough to stop the captain in his tracks.
Footsteps sounded from behind her, and Vr'ocria tried in vain to twist her body around.
But she didn't have to. The man approaching from behind came forward and stepped in between her and the captain, and she didn't have to see his face to know who it was.
"Aldrick," she nearly whimpered.
The caption sneered. "Well well, a little escape artist, are we?"
Aldrick was silent.
Deathly so.
Vr'ocria swallowed.
Even the captain, who was twice Aldrick's size, seemed to waver. Vr'ocria wasn't sure she wanted to know what he saw on Aldrick's face.
Finally, Aldrick spoke. "Any of you touch her, and you will die." His voice was so cold it pierced her to the bone. She could see his clenched fists trembling at his sides. He's not even armed!
The captain began to laugh, his voice echoing around the bay. The others laughed with him.
"And who's gonna stop us?" He demanded. "You? Little human, you don't know who you're messing with." He dashed forward, raising the blade, ready to strike.
"Aldrick!" Vr'ocria screamed.
But Aldrick dodged as easily as water flows through a river, ducking under the dagger and going for the captain's legs. He barreled his full weight against his hips, and with a shout, the giant fell, the dagger clattering from his grasp. Quick as a whip, Aldrick snatched it up–and drove it directly into the captain's throat.
Vr'ocria couldn't help but watch in horror as green blood frothed forth, spraying all over Aldrick. The captain's eyes were wide, and he choked and spasmed as his life drained out onto the dirty floor.
By now, the others were surging forward, shouting, screaming, and brandishing their own weapons.
"NO!" Vr'ocria screamed as they converged on him. She kicked and yanked uselessly at her chains, desperate to help, to do anything. The manacles bit painfully into her scales, some of them even popping off onto the floor, leaving beads of blood welling up in their wake. But the manacles did not yield.
When she looked back, she was terrified she'd see Aldrick lying dead on the floor.
But he wasn't.
In fact, there were three pirates–no, make that four now–sprawled lifelessly instead. Aldrick was a whirlwind of limbs and gnashing teeth–he ducked and dodged, spat and kicked, slashing at knees and elbows, slowly incapacitating or discombobulating each one until he was able to sink the dagger into throats, chests, between ribs–bodies were dropping--he was covered in blood now, eyes wild–
"BEHIND YOU!" Vr'ocria screamed.
Aldrick turned just a second too late, and a woman covered in dark fur landed a kick directly to his chest. He hit the floor, the dagger flying from his grasp. The woman pounced, her hands wrapping around his throat. His legs thrashed as he clutched at her hands, and he was just able to roll them over until he was on top. From there, he simply started punching, and punching, blood spraying his face with each hit.
A large man behind him had stumbled back to his feet. He lunged forward and yanked Aldrick into the air by the back of his shirt, throwing him bodily into the air, where he crashed against a metal crate.
He hit the ground and didn't move.
Vr'ocria was screaming. She didn't know if she was saying words anymore, but she was screaming, and blood was streaming down her arms now from how hard she was pulling against the manacles. All she could do was watch as the final three pirates approached her mate where he lay lifeless on the floor.
They stopped before they were in arms length, looking between each other. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but one of them finally edged forward and poked Aldrick's side with her toe.
Vr'ocria wanted to rip their entrails out with her bare hands.
He still didn't move. Seeming satisfied, they moved forward, and one bent to grab him.
All at once, her human surged back to life. The man closest to him hit the ground as Aldrick swung his legs around, sweeping the man's feet out from under him. Once he was down, Aldrick bashed a crane hook–one he must've picked up from the floor–into the man's skull so hard that it caved in with one blow. Still lying on the floor, Aldrick used his vantage point to kick the woman's knee backwards, and she collapsed with an agonized scream. One more strike with the hook, and she was silenced.
That left just one. The final pirate appeared to be reptilian like her, although he had large spines stretching across his head and shoulders. This one didn't try to rush Aldrick. Instead, he kept his distance, watching warily as Aldrick climbed to his feet.
"So it's true," the spined pirate said, "what they say about humans."
Aldrick returned a deadly stare. "And what's that?" His voice almost didn't even sound like his anymore.
"You're monsters. Demons. Scourge of the universe."
Aldrick grinned, but it looked more like a feral animal baring its teeth. "That's me."
The pirate's spines flexed. "You could join us," he said. "Join the Norvids. We'll find another crew, you can be captain."
They were circling now, Aldrick crouched like a predator ready to strike, the pirate shuffling back with his hands held out.
"You could be rich!"
Aldrick picked up a rusty chain from a barrel as he passed by.
"Think of the power you would wield!" The pirate cried desperately.
Aldrick still said nothing. He forced him back, and back, until the pirate realized, too late, that he was cornered between two crates. His back hit the wall and he slid down, cowering, as Aldrick loomed over him.
Vr'ocria could barely hear because of the distance, but the metal room carried Aldrick's low hiss as he bent down to the trembling pirate: "You hurt my mate. Now, you die."
The rusty chain crackled as Aldrick wrapped it around the pirate's neck in one fell swoop. He pulled the loop tight and the pirate clutched at the noose, his eyes and forked tongue bulging out. Then, with one swift and hard yank, an audible splinter-snap filled the room–and the pirate was dead before he hit the floor, his neck bent at an unnatural angle.
Aldrick dropped him in disgust. His back was turned, but Vr'ocria could still see his chest heaving.
He turned and met Vr'ocria's eyes, and the demented expression drained from his face. He stepped towards her, slowly at first, and then broke into a sprint.
It seemed like he wanted to throw his arms around her, but he came to a sudden halt before he could touch her, instead raising his shaking hands to her face. "Vr'ocria, 'ria, my Ria, I'm so sorry–" his voice broke and his eyes welled with tears that quickly spilled over and began running down his face, carving tracks into the grime and blood spatter.
"Aldrick," she whispered, drinking him in. He's alive.
"Hold on, hold on, I'll get you out of these cuffs, fuck–" he turned to the dead captain on the floor and rifled through his pockets until he produced a key.
He returned and had to stand on his tiptoes to reach the manacles, and with a scrape and groan of metal, the manacles cracked loose.
Vr'ocria collapsed onto Aldrick, her legs too weak to hold her up. Her arms fell over his shoulders, and he caught her around the waist. Together they sank to the floor until they were both on their knees, clutching at one another as if they would disappear.
Aldrick buried his face in her neck, shaking with silent sobs. Vr'ocria tangled her hands in his bloody hair, not caring about the mess. Her people couldn't weep like humans did, but she might as well have with the way her chest heaved with stuttering breaths, her scales burning bright red.
Aldrick clutched her tight enough to hurt, but she didn't care. "Ria, my Ria, my love," he gasped like a mantra.
She finally took his face in her hands and pulled him back, forcing him to look at her. "Are you alright?" She implored. "Are you hurt?"
He let out a half-laugh, half-sob. "You're asking me?"
She used her thumbs to wipe away some of the grime on his face. "You took on all of those people by yourself," she croaked. "And the way he threw you–planets, I thought you were dead."
His hands slid up her back to clutch her shoulders. "I'm alright," he assured her. "Bumps and bruises is all. But you–" he looked her up and down, rage rekindling in his eyes. "Son of a bitch, what they did to you–"
She shook her head. "They're dead now," she said firmly. "It's over and done." She leaned forward to squeeze him again, resting her head on his shoulder. "Let's just go home."
"Don't have to tell me twice." Aldrick rose, pulling her up with him. Her legs were still too unsteady to walk, so instead, he slid one hand under her knees and swept her up into his arms. She settled against his chest as he carried her out of the cargo bay.
"Should we be worried about any other crew members?" She asked, casting her eyes around the barren corridor.
Aldrick shook his head as he walked. He seemed to know where he was going. "It was just them."
"How do you know? And what happened to you, by the way?"
His arms tightened around her. "After you got knocked out, they locked a tractor beam onto the shuttle and pulled us inside."
They came to a fork in the corridor, and he turned left. "I thought they were just raiding for scrap metal and Union tech, but when they boarded the shuttle, they went straight for you. I–" his voice cracked. "I tried to protect you, but there were so many of them and I was so caught off guard..."
Vr'ocria stroked the nape of his neck with her thumb. "It's okay, it's not your fault."
Aldrick swallowed before continuing. "They took you away and locked me in an old storage container. Thankfully the hinges were on the inside, so I just popped the pins out once they were gone. I was able to access the ship's computer and scan the whole ship, because the idiots didn't know how to encrypt anything. All brawn and no brains, I guess. That's also how I was able to figure out where they kept their own shuttles, since ours is pretty busted."
"Is that where we're going?"
He nodded. "Anyway, I used the scanner to find your location, and then I just crawled through the air ducts so I could get inside without them knowing." He stopped. "We're here."
They'd arrived at a loading door with a rusty label that read "SHUTTLE BAY."
Twenty minutes later found them back out in open space in the least-old shuttle they could find. The engine puttered every few minutes, but with any luck, they'd reach their ship in an hour or so.
Vr'ocria had regained her bearings, and she was rummaging around the storage box at the back of the cabin. She finally found an old "in case of emergency" kit, but frustratingly, all the first aid supplies had been picked clean. She did, however, find an unopened package of wet wipes.
Vr'ocria took the wipes back to the front of the cabin. Ripping the package open, she knelt by Aldrick where he sat in the pilot seat.
"What're you doing?"
"Hold still," she murmured. She raised a wipe to his face, and began gently cleaning the blood off. His eyes became soft as she tended to him, throwing the dirty wipes aside one by one while she worked her way down his face and neck.
When she was done, he took her hand before she could get up. He reached for the package as well, and began wiping the blood from her arms, taking care around the nasty scrapes that marred her wrists. "We need to get these bandaged up."
"It's okay. They're not bleeding anymore, we have time."
Aldrick placed a hand on her cheek. "I love you so much," he whispered. "And I'm glad you're okay."
Vr'ocria leaned into his hand, closing her eyes. "I love you too."
Turns out it's REALLY hard to write fight scenes lol. I can see it happening in my head, but getting it down on paper is another story. I had fun though! And I hope I did it justice.
Thank you for reading!

I was hoping for some wise words or wisdom on this. I have a bachelors in psychology and a masters in public health and I loved working in the public health space. I worked in a research lab for a year and besides my awful boss and bad commute I enjoyed the actual work. I took a research position at a very early stage start up, which I enjoyed in the beginning.
However, now 3 years later I've ended up in an operations role and assisting my boss with things he doesn't want to do. So I'm doing work that's very different than what I signed up for and wanted to do. After promotions and salary increases, I'm making great money but not happy in my day to day work and what's on my plate. My boss has also become increasingly demanding and morale on the team is very low.
I'm at a point where I'm not exactly sure what I want to be doing anymore and how I can make a switch. My career goals have also shifted because I have a progressive chronic illness, so I can't be at a job on my feet and traveling often. I'd love to get more education skills in data analytics and return to a research role. I'm just not sure how to balance that with working a full time demanding job and having an illness that affects my energy levels.
How did you all manage a career switch? Any advice on balancing work with additional schooling?
In an ideal world I would take some time off to reflect and enroll in a course or classes somewhere, but that's definitely risky. I have a wonderful husband that would support that decision, but I would hate the uncertainty of not having a job lined up.

I honestly do not know where to start. We’re locally owned and more of a Poconos set-up: personalized jacuzzi suites and penthouses and luxury standard rooms. 35 rooms in total. I have no operational management experience. I was transparent and communicated everything id need to be trained for. Ive been evening front desk for 2 years.
Im honestly wondering if I should immediately enroll in business management courses to supplement with my job. Its a higher salary commensurate for the experience and position w/ benefits. im just worried ill let my employer down. but they were adamant and understood everything id need.
What advice do you guys have? This will be my first ever management role. Im rlly worried more about hr policies n federal/state protection laws to make sure its a fair and safe workplace…

On Monday night while I was winning at Code Cragor 3, my fiancée Montana sat next to me folding more of those damn origami cranes. As soon as she finished one, she'd add it to the growing pile on the floor and start again. Fold, fold, fold, flick. Fold, fold, fold, flick. She'd been doing this since I proposed a week ago. She said the birds meant “happiness” so they’d be our gift to our wedding guests. I hated those demon birds.
She stopped folding long enough to ask when the town justice was showing up on Thursday. She meant for our wedding. Except I hadn't booked the justice. I said I left a lot of messages and didn’t get a call back. That was sort of true, I did leave a message at the town court. I left a wrong number for them to call back. She didn’t need to know all that, though.
She said I was too relaxed about this, like I didn’t want to get married. I didn’t, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. Last week she said she wasn’t going to keep cooking and cleaning unless I proposed. Well, she cooks, she cleans, why would I want her to leave? I proposed. I didn’t “set a date.”
Montana doesn’t like when I don’t answer her. She started flicking birds at me. I kept gaming. Flick, flick, flick. I don’t remember how many she flicked at me before I called her uncle, Sam Orrs. He’s the mechanic for our town manager. Uncle Sam had the connection I needed to ’prove my love and commitment’.
With Montana listening to every word, I described a bunch of phone calls I never made. I laid it on thick for over an hour. The overwhelming incompetence of town court staff infuriated Uncle Sam. He promised he’d work it out with the town manager and call me back Tuesday afternoon.
As soon as I hung up, Montana started talking again. Something about her ‘wedding jeans’ and how we had to get the marriage license in the morning. That killed my interest in finishing Code Cragor 3. As I turned off the console, she asked if her ‘wedding jeans’ made her look fat.
I said yes.
She left the house holding three pairs of shoes and two large overnight bags. She said to call her at Uncle Sam’s when I was ready to get the license.
As soon as her Uber turned the corner, I dumped several handfuls of those demon birds into our trash can. There were so many of them, I couldn’t fit the lid on. Oh well. I was sure most of them would stay in the can until the next trash collection day, whenever that was.
Although I went to bed right after that, I had trouble staying asleep. I hoped Montana couldn’t sleep either, so she’d come back right away.
Uncle Sam’s text-a-thon woke me at two o’clock the next afternoon. He said Montana was fine and he had "worked it out" with the town manager. He also said sit tight and wait for more. Who knows what old people mean when they text. I microwaved hot dogs, finished a bag of chips and tore through three rounds of BulletFold (new release!) before going back to sleep.
A couple of hours later, a weird noise woke me. My neighbor was sanding their floors. Roar, swoosh, roar, roar. Why are people so loud? Close your damn windows. I threw on a Pomplamoose playlist, extra loud, and held Montana’s pillow over my head until I got back to sleep.
That worked well until I woke up hungry and in the dark. Now my neighbor was doing something swooshy and crunchy. Why are people so damn loud? Close. Your. Windows.
I wandered down to the kitchen for something substantial that didn’t require cooking. Took a while to find it: two boxes of chocolate chip cookies in a cupboard and a stale donut in the fridge. Ate the donut on the way upstairs and ate half a box of cookies before getting back to sleep.
A couple hours later, I’m not sure exactly when but it was still dark, noises woke me again. This time it was my stomach rumbling. I finished the cookies and the bottle of soda I found by my closet doors. Not really filling but I was hoping Montana would smarten up right away and gets back here to cook again.
Wednesday morning I woke up around ten o’clock. Why go downstairs when I could eat in bed like a king? Okay, my emergency stash of chips wasn’t as filling as a full breakfast, but Montana hadn’t moved back yet. I watched TV until I couldn’t hear it over the sounds of my stomach grumbling, then I went down to the kitchen again. There was nothing to eat without cooking it. I made toast with peanut butter and took it, with a can of soda to my sofa.
After a couple hours of BulletFold, I still heard grumbling. It was still quite dark outside. There was nothing else to do so I went to sleep on the sofa, clutching a pillow over my head to block out noises.
This morning, I woke up hungry again. Montana was being stubborn and, in a way, that suited me just fine. If she stayed stubborn for 24 more hours, we’d miss the “wedding date” she wanted, and we’d have to start all over again. But I couldn’t wait to eat so I ordered from EatFleet, whose motto is “Delivery half an hour or half off.” With nothing else to do, I waited by the door. Twenty-eight minutes in, my phone rang. I was sure it was delivery, begging for an extra minute or two.
How wrong I was. The driver said she was outside my place and had left the bags on my front walkway. She said she couldn’t get past the birds. I said bullshit. I couldn’t hear any birds and I was waiting at the door.
The driver insisted hundreds of birds were surrounding my house. She made it clear she’d delivered on time and brought the bags as far as she could, meaning no discount.
Then she added one more weird factor: She said my house looked just like it did on local news. That was it, she ended the call. I was so angry, I didn’t want to throw open the door and risk losing my temper at her. Instead, I went to the closest window to see if I could at least describe her car to the cops.
I pulled back the curtains and saw – white. Hundreds of white origami cranes were pressing against the window. I couldn’t see the ground or the sky. This made no sense.
I ran upstairs to the bedroom window, hoping to see where the pile of birds ended, and how far across the front they went. The birds didn’t stop. There were birds past the top of the second floor windows and birds at every window, front and back of the house.
Remembering the delivery driver’s words about local news, I turned on the bedroom TV. Local news was showing drone views of my house. My house, covered by white demon birds. Reporter Gary Moovilon was right outside my house. He called me 'home owner, Dirk T Wadder.' The jerk said my name like it was Dirty Water. He said I'd broken off my engagement with less than a week’s notice. What was a rejected bride-to-be supposed to do, he went on, except get revenge?
I had suggestions. She could calm down and stop obsessing about getting married. But Gary didn’t even bother to come to my door. He wondered if a helicopter had dumped thousands of birds on the roof. He called me Dirk T, saying it like Dirty. He was clearly doing it on purpose. I decided to sue him and the station. He wondered how I managed to sleep through the noise of a helicopter. He tried to talk to my neighbors about his ideas. No one wanted to get on camera.
I didn't hear any such thing. And even if there was a helicopter, how did the birds stay in place? Did someone apply glue to each bird, or are they magnetic, or -- who cares. Less thinking, more action. I ran downstairs to start Operation Remove the Birds.
Since I was doing this during daylight, it would be best to at least pretend I was going to recycle all that paper. My hands were shaking and I realized my breathing was shallow. Last time I felt like this I was seven years ago and had just finished watching A Nightmare on Elm Street. I haven’t been seven in – a lot of years! -- no adult should be scared of paper birds, c’mon now!
It took half an hour but I found the box of recycling bags Montana got a few months back. I stuck a few bags under my arm and grabbed the broom before returning to the front door and turning the handle.
Nothing happened.
I pushed my full weight against the door.
Nothing happened.
I don’t know how much thousands of origami cranes weigh but I do know it was enough to stop me from opening my door. For a second I thought about trying my first-floor windows, but all three of them open out. If I couldn’t push a heavy wooden door into the birds, there was no way I would risk pushing glass into them.
I ran to the bedroom window -- it opened up, not out -- and pulled a fistful of the little bastards inside. The rest of the wall should have collapsed.
It didn’t.
I grabbed more of them. I pushed against the birds that remained.
The wall or birds stayed in place.
Something was very wrong. A wall of paper birds couldn’t be stronger than me, could it? There are things that defeat paper. Like water! I dumped out the bedroom trash can and filled it with cold water. When I got within throwing distance of the window, I picked up the can with both hands and aimed for the opening.
Water went everywhere. It made no difference. I pushed, poked and pulled at birds that were wet and unmovable. I only stopped because paper dust caused my eyes to tear up. I mean, that had to be it, no way I was crying at the thought of being trapped forever.
A man knows when it’s time to admit defeat. I called Montana's Uncle Sam and asked for help. He said he had proof Montana hadn’t left his house so this wasn’t his problem. Even if it was, he said, he didn’t know what to do. He said to call emergency services.
Emergency services said they came here after they saw my house on lunch time news. They soaked the birds with fire fighting foam. The foam didn’t make any difference. They said don’t cook anything until I can get air flow in the house again. I said I can’t get food delivered through the birds. They said good luck and hung up.
I went online for two hours and couldn’t find anybody who’s been trapped like this. By this time, my throat felt like it was on fire and my eyes were producing extra water to put out the flames. That’s when I realized I was dying. I was going to starve to death, if I didn't run out of air first.
I called Montana's Uncle Sam again. I didn’t care if he got a helicopter to remove the roof, just get me out. I didn’t care if I had to wash his car every week for the rest of my life, just get me out. I begged, I pleaded, I told him I would do whatever he wanted me to do, just get me out of here!
He was direct. “I want YOU,” said Uncle Sam, “to marry Montana, today.”

So, I have just started working on this company exactly 3 months ago, and last week, surprisingly my employer made ma kind of a probation review.
Before we get into the conversation details, please hear me out.
The company I started working for, is in the Real Estate Industry, basically It’s a real estate agency. Officially, I was hired as a Listing Agent / Administration – Back Office + Social Media Branding (Marketing).
My duties are: Upload + Upgrade details on our all of the company’s website ,reply to any inquiries, by email + phone. (I speak fluently 3 languages and it is ideal with the country’s current buyers/investors).
Long story short, the main purpose of my arrival in this company was to increase the company’s request (leads) + website traffic. Social Media etc. is essential for the branding and the presence of the company. Ever since my arrival, statistically, the company has generated 64% more leads especially the last month.
Now, bear in mind I had no training or relative real estate experience in the past. So, I got introduced in the office, (relatively small. No admin + 2 estate agents). The agents being away for their viewings, and me sitting in the office, trying to understand how everything works, no coaching, no guidance and me trying to adapt into this new environment.
So, in order to do that, I was reading the country’s legislation in the property market, VAT laws, Title deed issues, Planning zones everything that I could find online in the governments website.
At the same time I am all alone dealing with inquires, uploading and upgrading the main website (back-office), creating posts for our social media platforms, oh and on top of that, they expanded to a bigger city with only 1 agent there and I’m supporting that person fully. (Uploads – contracts – viewing – meetings etc.)
Now, back to the conversation, my boss calls me in the office and tells me, It has been 3 months since your arrival and there was no direct sale from you. I’m like: what do you mean? Boss: I cannot afford your salary without having a direct return from you – I was expecting with your introduction to convert our leads into sales. So, I will cut your salary and give you commissions and with that way you can even make more money that I pay you now. (In theory it sounds nice but in reality is not).
I am not an agent, and I’m stuck in the office, how can I make a sale? Through the phone or through the emails? I have to co-operate with agents, rely on them to make a sale, in order to get a commission out of it.
So our traffic and request increased, but we don’t have the power to assist every request, and these request get lost. With that being said, I am now depended on how the agents perform.
So, all my administrative and back office duties all of my marketing and advertising tries, are all worth nothing. I will only make money if agents manage to sell.
It sounds like a teamwork, but these agents, bring properties themselves and they don’t want to share commissions, they try to get the profits themselves.
I feel totally disappointed and I hate myself waking up and coming here but I am in a situation right now that I’m thinking: A) 3 months on my CV as employment looks bad, B) I have to again prove myself into a new employer, adjust again into a new system etc. etc.
I’m totally exhausted, and I don’t have the energy or the power to go again into interview procedures.
I’m writing this while sitting at the office and uploading properties, apologies for any grammar mistakes but i’m typing this super fast as I am ready to explode in here.
Redditors, any advice? What should I do?

Introduction

India's IT industry is a rapidly growing sector that has become a hub for IT services. This growth has been fueled by the presence of 75% of the world's digital talent in the country. Moreover, significant investments and government initiatives have further accelerated the industry's growth. With the world rapidly transitioning to digital operations, the demand for skilled IT professionals has remained unchanged.
IT certifications are a great way to showcase your skills and establish your expertise in a particular domain. They provide a competitive edge in the job market. In 2023, India's top 5 IT certifications will cover many domains, including cloud computing, cybersecurity, data analytics, and software development. These certifications offer an excellent investment opportunity to increase earning potential and gain credibility in the industry.
Whether you're looking to transition into a new career or enhance skills in a current role, an IT certification can be an excellent choice. With the proper certification, you can stand out in a crowded job market and take advantage of the growing opportunities in the IT industry. With so much industry growth potential, it's an exciting time to invest in your career with IT certification.

Best IT Certifications in 2023

1. Business Intelligence

Business intelligence (BI) is now essential for data-driven decision-making in various businesses. Due to the increasing need for data analysis and modelling, businesses are looking for trained individuals who can effectively manage databases and central warehouses. These experts will also be responsible for data extraction for reporting and other uses.
IT professionals may acquire the skills they need in data planning, metadata systems development, ERP, systems analysis, programming, and technology management with the help of a BI certification. One's proficiency in report management, dashboard construction utilising relational data and uploaded files, and data management are validated by such certificate.
IT specialists can demonstrate their capacity to offer insights that can assist organisations in making informed decisions by earning a BI certification. By providing them with a competitive advantage in the job market, this IT certification may also help professionals develop in their professions.

1. Big Data and Data Science

Big Data and data science are two of the most well-liked IT courses among students and professionals in today's digital age. Python programming, machine learning, data visualisation, SQL, big data analytics, and other subjects are all covered in Learnbay's data science certification course. With the help of this certification, students may work with various technologies, including Hadoop, Spark, Hive, and Impala. This course will give students a fundamental grasp of data science, statistics, and mathematics applications.
Students who complete the certification are qualified for various positions, including Data Scientist, Machine Learning Engineer, Data Analyst, Product Analyst, Business Analyst, and Data Engineer. Students will be prepared for the increasing demand for data-driven choices across sectors through the coursework.
Organisations now need big data to grow, customise their offerings, and use marketing efforts to target specific clients. Data analysis and tracking are crucial components of data science for businesses to provide better customer service.
A data scientist typically earns approximately 10.5 LPA, making both data science and big data analytics lucrative professions. Students who take Learnbay's data science certification course will have the skills and knowledge needed to excel in this rapidly expanding industry.

1. Web Development

Understanding languages like HTML, CSS, and JS is vital for web developers and designers. Online courses and tutorials are a well-liked choice for anyone looking to stand out. Adobe, Google, Zend, and Microsoft all provide certified programmes for web developers, PHP engineers, and solution developers. With web development IT certifications emphasising the creation of dynamic web pages and UI components, Angular and React training is also gaining popularity.
For those who want to master web programming, the PGC in Full Stack programming and the PG Diploma in Full Stack Development are ideal. These courses instruct students on creating dependable and scalable websites, back-end APIs, and engaging online interfaces.
Students study design concepts, data structures, algorithms, numerous programming best practices, and other topics. Additionally, participants are given placement chances and employment interviews with respectable businesses after completing the course.
With an 8% growth predicted for the industry between 2019 and 2029 by the Bureau of Labour Statistics, web development is one of the most profitable occupations in the IT sector. The many kinds of web applications include, but are not limited to, portal web apps, content management or CMS web apps, and e-commerce apps. Web developers are sought after by major corporations like TCS, Accenture, Wipro, and IBM, making an IT certification in web development a very wise and profitable decision.

1. Software Development

A software developer's proficiency with coding is a crucial component of their skill set. The following prominent programming languages are recommended for IT workers interested in a career in software development: Python, Java, C#, R, SAS, Scala, Swift, JavaScript, and TypeScript.
A person's ability to create practical computer programs and produce high-quality online and mobile apps may be demonstrated by earning professional IT certifications in several programming languages.
The software development market is anticipated to expand by 21% by 2028, making it a more significant and lucrative industry. Google, LinkedIn, and Indeed are top employers looking for software engineers. The average salary of a software developer is 5.0 LPA, but it can vary based on an individual's experience, skillset, projects undertaken, and upskilling history.

1. Project Management

Since project management is essential to the corporate infrastructure, IT certifications in this area are becoming increasingly popular among professionals and students. To educate students on critical concepts like strategic thinking, leadership, problem-solving, time management, and project management skills, project management courses provide an integrated learning strategy that incorporates actual projects, case studies, and content created in collaboration with industry partners.
By giving possible job titles like Associate Project Manager, Certified Project Manager, Certified Project Director, and Agile Certified Practitioner, these courses can aid IT, workers in advancing their careers. In addition, some IT workers pursue product management certification, including technical topics, product planning, market research, product development, and user design.
The profitable sector of project management might benefit from certification in areas including scheduling, budgeting, stakeholder satisfaction, risk management, quality assurance, resource allocation, and documentation.

The Bottom Line

The IT industry in India is growing rapidly, and IT certifications are an excellent way to showcase one's skills and establish expertise in a particular domain. The top IT certifications in India for 2023 include Business Intelligence, Big Data and Data Science, Web Development, Software Development, and Project Management. These certifications offer an excellent investment opportunity for IT professionals to increase their earning potential, gain credibility in the industry, and take advantage of the growing opportunities in the IT sector. By obtaining the proper certification, one can stand out in a crowded job market and enhance their career.